WEBVTT - #2021 Self-Worth - Kelly, Tiff & Harps 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:03.040 I get a gang. It's the You Project. It's Tiffany Ankook, 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.440 It's Kelly Margaret Smith and I made that up. We'll 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:08.000 find out what it really is in a Mama. Craig 0:00:08.039 --> 0:00:10.719 Anthony up the Bloody Project. That's you. It's a Friday afternoon. 0:00:10.760 --> 0:00:14.120 This my third third podcast. Today it's been big Patty 0:00:14.240 --> 0:00:16.959 UNI meeting. I've been writing my thesis. I met Scottie 0:00:16.960 --> 0:00:20.480 Douglas this morning for some caffeine lifted heavy shit at 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:24.680 the gym. I spoke to Kelly on Messenger. That's a 0:00:24.720 --> 0:00:27.440 weird format to make a phone call on. It even 0:00:27.480 --> 0:00:30.880 sounds like you're ringing from Mars. And have you ever 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:33.519 called anyone tip on Messenger when you don't have their 0:00:33.560 --> 0:00:34.560 actual phone number? 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:36.360 No, no use. 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:39.479 It's weird. It's weird. It's a little bit like you're 0:00:39.479 --> 0:00:42.000 talking underwater. It's not quite a normal phone call. 0:00:43.280 --> 0:00:46.000 Yeah, that's a bit weird. What don't't you two weeks? 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:48.680 I don't know. I should actually have her number, Kell, 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.360 What is it? Just give it to me now? So 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:56.560 it's it's zero four, Yeah, it's one eight hundred hot. 0:00:56.600 --> 0:00:59.720 That's it, Kelly Smith. Yeah, what's your middle name? 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:02.280 Kel It's Marie, So you. 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:07.080 Were close Kelleen, Marie Kelley Marie, Well that that kind 0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:08.800 of Tiffany and Craig Anthony. 0:01:08.600 --> 0:01:12.360 Kelley Marie Jane or An, wasn't it? 0:01:12.480 --> 0:01:15.640 Or just nothing so front of the three. A few 0:01:15.640 --> 0:01:17.759 people in my family don't have a middle name. 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:24.080 Yeah what Yeah, it doesn't really serve any purpose, does it? 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:26.480 A middle name? I've never really thought about this till 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.520 right now in sixty two years, and I'm sure we 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:31.560 don't really need a conversation around it, but fuck it 0:01:31.600 --> 0:01:33.760 does it serve any purpose a middle name? 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:38.760 I think sometimes it does if people don't. I know 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:41.039 a few people who don't like the first name that 0:01:41.080 --> 0:01:43.360 they were given, so they've jumped in their middle name 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:45.080 and just started using that. 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.960 Oh yeah, well, I guess there's that. There's that, or 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:53.760 people just make up a name. They just they just 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:57.160 have a nickname and they go by that, like jay Z. 0:01:58.360 --> 0:01:59.800 That hasn't worked out well for him. 0:02:00.440 --> 0:02:01.320 No, no need. 0:02:01.400 --> 0:02:03.000 It is either one that's in the big house at 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:05.280 the moment, or am I getting my rappers mixed up? 0:02:05.840 --> 0:02:08.399 I think you're getting the rappers with the hyphens mixed up? 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:14.080 Oh? Is it? I don't know, someone's in the big house. 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:16.959 I don't know. I get them, you know me, I'm 0:02:16.960 --> 0:02:20.040 all over the rappers. I mean, if you want an 0:02:20.120 --> 0:02:24.000 update on all things rap or hip hop, I'm not 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:28.480 your guy. Tiff. How's your day been? How's your Friday been? 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:32.000 I've really enjoyed. It's been good. The sun's out, I've 0:02:32.000 --> 0:02:34.639 been out and about. I've done some work, I've done 0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:37.200 a potty with you, I'm doing my second one with you. 0:02:37.280 --> 0:02:40.680 I've lifted me. Shit, could it get any better than that? Really? 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:44.240 Oh wow? What a dream day. I mean people think about, 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:46.120 you know, the best day of their life, and you've 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:50.359 just had it today. It's like wow, I mean it's 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:54.280 only downhill from here, isn't it? Seeing me twice on 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:56.960 the interwebs my pretty little face and cal did you 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:57.800 have a good day? Also? 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:01.520 I've had a great day, had a great weekday, and 0:03:01.560 --> 0:03:03.400 now I get to finish it with you guys. 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.120 Yeah, that's really I mean most people would It's a 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.480 dream end to any week. I mean most people would 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:12.440 aspire to do a podcast with Tiff and I on 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:13.880 a Friday at five point thirty. 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:15.000 Absolutely? 0:03:16.000 --> 0:03:18.840 How many people do you reckon? Would be? If I said, 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:23.280 who wants to come on the you project and interview me. 0:03:23.400 --> 0:03:26.560 How many people, like, out of typically out of ten, 0:03:26.639 --> 0:03:28.359 how many would want to do that? And how many 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:29.360 would be terrified? 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:33.560 I think ten would say yes and ten would be terrified. 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:39.600 Oh so they'd say yes, but do it being terrified. 0:03:40.080 --> 0:03:40.800 That's what I did. 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:45.120 Yeah, yeah, I really don't think that many people would 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:47.600 want to do it. But anyway, you did it. Here 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:50.440 you are and now you fucking just like Tiff, You've 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:53.880 just wormed your way into my heart, into the hearts 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:57.600 of the listeners. Hey, here we go. What are we 0:03:57.640 --> 0:03:59.800 talking about? What are we talking about? Quick? Hit me 0:03:59.880 --> 0:04:02.040 up up while my brain's still working, because I think 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:05.960 it's about to come to a cognitive grinding hold at 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:06.960 about six point thirty. 0:04:07.240 --> 0:04:09.400 All right, let's get this done quick. So I have 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.560 a little story before my question today. 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:13.840 I'm ready. I was in a. 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:17.120 Meeting at work the other day where it was like 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.880 it was a cross department meeting and the person running 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:23.040 it she was I think a little bit nervous, and 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:26.599 so the meeting time was scheduled. Everybody that needed to 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:29.880 be there accepted that meeting time. We get to the meeting, 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:32.880 all of the information was given, all of the action 0:04:32.960 --> 0:04:36.360 items were decided on really good, really concise. We finished 0:04:36.400 --> 0:04:39.720 about half an hour early. So we finished the meeting 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:41.240 and she said to me, how do you think I went, 0:04:41.400 --> 0:04:43.560 I said, yeah, great, you know, everybody got what they 0:04:43.560 --> 0:04:46.680 needed from it. We have action items. We can move forward. 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:49.560 She was okay, good, and I said, why were you 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:53.680 talking so fast in this meeting? She's like, oh, I 0:04:53.720 --> 0:04:56.040 just felt like I needed to give their time back 0:04:56.120 --> 0:05:01.000 because mine isn't as important as theirs. And I went, oh, 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:07.640 I said, can you please stop undervaluing yourself because they 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:11.200 actually agreed to that meeting time and they were, you know, 0:05:11.240 --> 0:05:14.320 they were happy to have that conversation with you and 0:05:14.440 --> 0:05:18.560 give you that time, so therefore you're just as valuable 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:21.680 as them. And the next day she came back to 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:23.720 me and she was like, wow, that was a really 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:27.440 good reframe because I didn't actually think that I was 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:30.919 as valuable as the other people there. And it just 0:05:30.960 --> 0:05:33.680 made me think, well, how many other people are in 0:05:33.680 --> 0:05:38.000 that position, and why do we kind of go your 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:41.640 time's more important than mine, I'm not adding as much 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:45.359 value as you are, And what can we do to 0:05:45.480 --> 0:05:46.440 change that perception. 0:05:48.480 --> 0:05:54.920 That's a really interesting experience and I think we think 0:05:55.240 --> 0:05:57.440 and this me just thinking out loud and I did 0:05:57.480 --> 0:05:59.880 not know this was coming everyone, and to feel for 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:03.760 to jump in. I think, like a lot in our culture, 0:06:03.800 --> 0:06:07.560 we kind of think that we are worth whatever our 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:10.080 hourly rate is. Like we get our sense of self 0:06:10.120 --> 0:06:12.840 and our sense of maybe self worth and value from 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:18.400 either our brand or our profile, or our annual salary 0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:22.960 or our hourly rate or what people will pay to 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:26.880 have us do a thing or provide a service. And 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:29.560 maybe she's paid less than some of the others in 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:33.960 the meeting, so she sees herself as less than or 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:36.520 I'm not sure is that the case. Is she on 0:06:36.640 --> 0:06:40.239 perhaps a lower annual salary than other people in the meeting. 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:44.359 Look, I'm not sure. I don't know what anyone is paid. 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:49.520 I think it's more kind of profile. So therefore us 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:53.440 like this person is a bit more visible than I am. 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:56.800 So therefore they must be contributing more. And I've got 0:06:56.800 --> 0:06:59.880 to speed up what I need to tell them that 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.599 they can get back their valuable time. 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:07.520 So what do you think self worth ties into? Like, 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:10.800 what do you think where does the what I'm worth 0:07:11.000 --> 0:07:15.160 story come from? Does it come from what we think 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:19.040 of us? Or what other people think of us, or 0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:24.680 our position in the organization, or the perception that we 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:28.880 have about certain things based on past experiences. I know, 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:32.480 I've just turned it around on you. You're welcome. Well, 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:34.160 maybe it's all of it, right. 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:36.840 I think it's all of it, And then I think 0:07:36.880 --> 0:07:41.720 it's also Is this one of those few times when 0:07:41.760 --> 0:07:45.840 you can actually rely on a bit of external validation 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:49.640 because you kind of you I know, for me, like 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:52.680 being in the position of doing all of the work 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.680 and getting to a point of going, okay, now I'm 0:07:54.720 --> 0:07:57.960 ready to use my voice, I'm ready to contribute. But 0:07:58.200 --> 0:08:02.120 is anyone going to deem that any value? So is 0:08:02.840 --> 0:08:04.760 it one of those few moments that you can kind 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:08.120 of go, hey, can I rely on someone to give 0:08:08.200 --> 0:08:11.320 me some really constructive feedback and I can take that 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:13.640 on board and go, okay, Yeah, what I'm doing is 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:14.960 adding something. 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:20.480 It's very hard for any of us. Well, it's not hard, 0:08:20.520 --> 0:08:22.680 it's impossible. It's impossible for any of us to be 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:27.800 objective about ourselves because you know, the me experience for me, 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:31.360 the Kelly experience for Kelly, and same for Tiff is 0:08:31.960 --> 0:08:37.600 completely subjective, and because I'm always assessing me through my 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:41.360 own mind and my own experiences, my own beliefs, and 0:08:41.440 --> 0:08:45.040 my own self esteem and my own fear. But I 0:08:45.080 --> 0:08:48.560 can recognize that perhaps Tiff, who knows me quite well, 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:52.040 could watch me do a presentation, or Kelly, who knows 0:08:52.040 --> 0:08:55.959 who's heard a lot of podcasts, could listen to something 0:08:56.080 --> 0:08:59.200 or see something that I do and give me a 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.160 perspective that I can't have because I'm the person in 0:09:02.160 --> 0:09:05.960 the middle. So I think that capacity or that willingness 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:12.640 to seek feedback, and I mean actually seek feedback, be 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:15.680 it good or bad. I'm not saying seek approval or 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:20.000 seek endorsement or seek affirmation, but rather just seek real, 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:26.280 genuine feedback, whatever it is from other people. Is it's 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:30.080 a really smart idea because we can't give that to ourselves. 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:33.560 It's one of the few things like we can't give 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:38.120 ourselves an objective opinion of us. We can't and even 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:41.200 for you too, to give me objective feedback about me 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:43.640 is kind of hard because you already have an opinion 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:47.400 of me, right, But it's definitely more objective than I 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:51.600 can give myself, right, So I think that I think 0:09:51.679 --> 0:09:55.160 that is part of it. I also think self doubt 0:09:55.280 --> 0:10:02.920 and undervaluing oneself is ah super duper common. I think 0:10:02.960 --> 0:10:05.840 it becomes a real negative when the self doubt spills 0:10:05.880 --> 0:10:10.240 into self loathing. But and I don't know other than 0:10:10.280 --> 0:10:13.320 you know, like, is somebody giving us feedback on no Kel, 0:10:13.400 --> 0:10:15.320 you actually did great. I know you think that was 0:10:15.320 --> 0:10:18.080 a three out of ten, but I actually think it 0:10:18.160 --> 0:10:21.160 was a six and maybe a seven. And here's how 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:23.199 I think you could make it an eight or a nine. 0:10:23.679 --> 0:10:28.680 Right then that's really constructive and positive. But I think, also, 0:10:30.520 --> 0:10:32.800 you know, the only way that we can build confidence 0:10:32.880 --> 0:10:36.880 and confidence and skill is just by just showing up 0:10:36.920 --> 0:10:41.920 and doing that anyway, which I know is cluche. But 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:44.440 I do have one story then I'll shut up. So 0:10:44.640 --> 0:10:47.760 I remember when I first started personal training. I was 0:10:47.800 --> 0:10:50.560 working at Trackside Sports in Hampton, near the railway line. 0:10:50.600 --> 0:10:53.240 I was earning twelve dollars now I was the gym manager. 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:56.120 I was working forty hours a week, so my gross 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:58.960 wage was four hundred and eighty. I think my net 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.480 wage was somewhere in the low four hundreds, so I 0:11:02.600 --> 0:11:07.600 was probably clearing about ten dollars seventy an hour, and 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.680 that was not terrible. So this was like forty years ago, 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:16.440 nine eighty three or four. It wasn't terrible money. I 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:19.160 was also working in nightclubs getting punched in the face 0:11:19.200 --> 0:11:23.440 for about twelve to fourteen dollars an hour. And so 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:27.280 because every hour that I worked, I got paid, give 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:30.960 or take twelve thirteen fourteen dollars an hour, that's what 0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:35.960 I understood as my value monetarily, you know, financially, it's well, 0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:38.760 if I'm going to do something for someone, whatever the 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:42.400 something is, what they're probably going to give me is 0:11:42.400 --> 0:11:44.800 twelve to fourteen dollars an hour. And that's that's about 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:48.560 what I because that was my experience. You know, over 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:50.960 six years, I was always paid or let's say I 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:53.160 was twenty four at that stage, so six years of work, 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:55.560 I was always paid around that. So that's six years 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.560 of programming, six years of getting about the same money 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.560 per hour of work. And so after six years of 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:06.320 repetition and familiarity with a certain relationship with money, you think, oh, 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:09.520 I'm worth twelve dollars an hour. So when my first 0:12:09.520 --> 0:12:13.160 client came to the gym, we're talking about value and 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:18.079 perceived value of my first client, to be Max. He 0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:21.760 came in and he wanted to be trained. He didn't 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:24.640 want a gym membership. Well, he wanted a gym membership, 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.160 but he wanted someone to take him through his workouts, 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:30.120 which we didn't even call personal training at that stage. 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:32.520 And him and I hit it off and he said, 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:36.000 would you take me through my workouts? I'm like, well, 0:12:36.000 --> 0:12:38.040 that's not even a thing. He said, what if I 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:41.200 pay you and every time I come in, rather than 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:44.160 getting my workout card out of the filing cabinet and 0:12:44.160 --> 0:12:46.200 going in the gym like the rest of the masses, 0:12:47.040 --> 0:12:49.080 you take me through it every time? What would that 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:51.360 cost me? Now? I was earning twelve bucks an hour, 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:53.880 and I'm good at maths, and I went, well, if 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.640 he gave me fifty bucks for three workouts, that's give 0:12:56.720 --> 0:13:00.680 or take seven eight dollars an hour, that's good because 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:04.120 twelve seventeen that's good money. And in some rare moment 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:08.120 of courage or delusion, I said to him one hundred 0:13:08.160 --> 0:13:11.760 dollars for three workouts. And as it came out of 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:13.920 my mouth, I regretted that i'd said it because I 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.200 knew he would say no, because who the fuck's going 0:13:16.280 --> 0:13:20.280 to pay the twelve dollar guy thirty three dollars? And 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:23.640 I go one hundred bucks, and he looks at me 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:26.760 and he goes, he you're sure, And I went, I 0:13:26.920 --> 0:13:30.000 fucked it up. I fucked this up. And I go yeah, 0:13:30.240 --> 0:13:33.280 and he goes, that seems cheap, and I'm like, oh 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:37.599 my god. Right, And so I started training him for 0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:40.280 one hundred dollars for three workouts, so thirty three dollars 0:13:40.320 --> 0:13:43.240 an hour. All of a sudden, Right, I'm the same guy, 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:45.760 working in the same place. I need no new skills, 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:49.080 no more knowledge. The problem wasn't that I wasn't thirty 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:51.920 worth thirty three dollars or fifty dollars or whatever. Now, 0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:54.840 the problem was that I didn't believe I was. So 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:59.080 I always had the capacity to earn triple that or 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:03.560 quadruple that depending on the context, especially at that point 0:14:03.559 --> 0:14:06.320 in time with six years experience and six years knowledge 0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:11.440 and leadership and management experience. And so it's that it's like, 0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:14.280 what we're capable of is not the problem. What we 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:18.480 think we're capable of is the problem. What we're worth 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:21.320 is not the issue. What we think we're worth is 0:14:21.360 --> 0:14:24.000 the issue. Does that make sense? Yeah? 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:29.120 Absolutely, It's the self limiting beliefs that just stop you 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:32.160 in your tracks. So the other thing I wanted to 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:35.400 ask you on this, given that you've trained so many people. 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:39.040 What's it been like when you've seen that shift happen 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:41.600 with people, And what's been kind of the catalyst for 0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:44.840 that shift that they've actually stepped into believing that they're 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:47.120 capable and adding value. 0:14:47.640 --> 0:14:51.920 It's the same thing every time. It expresses differently and 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.280 manifest in different ways, but it is the same thing, 0:14:54.360 --> 0:14:56.800 and that is they do something they didn't think they 0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:02.440 could do. They do something or achieve something, or change 0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:05.320 something that they didn't think was truly possible for them. 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:09.840 They wanted it, and they hoped and they crossed their fingers, 0:15:10.360 --> 0:15:14.840 but when they actually did that thing, they're like, oh, 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.440 and the physiological change. And I said this for me 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:19.960 when I went from Jumbo, the unfittest kid to the 0:15:20.000 --> 0:15:22.480 fittest kid in my school through work and a bit 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:25.800 of self control and a bit of application. Not genetics, 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:30.320 not brilliance, not anything, but the biggest transformation for most 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:33.760 people when they do something radical with their body or 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:37.240 their fitness or their health, the biggest transformation and the 0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:40.800 biggest value is what happens to their thinking. Because all 0:15:40.840 --> 0:15:44.840 of a sudden you go, oh, I've seen myself the 0:15:44.880 --> 0:15:49.280 same way for thirty years or twenty five years. Oh, 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.840 I can actually be an athlete, or I can actually 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:56.160 be fit and strong and healthy and functional. Or I 0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:59.360 can actually be a boxer in Tip's case, who gets 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:01.320 in a ring and un people in the face and 0:16:01.440 --> 0:16:04.960 wins titles. Or in my case, I can write a book. 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:07.600 Oh fuck, I didn't think I could write a book. Oh, 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:10.680 and now I've written seven books. Ah, I'm an author, 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.560 but everyone thinks I can't. I can't until they do. 0:16:15.240 --> 0:16:18.640 And the book achievement is good. The boxing achievement is good, right. 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:22.280 The getting on the you project achievement and interviewing me 0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:25.600 is good. All of those things are nice achievements. But 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:29.080 the real value is the learning and the growth in 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:33.920 the doing. It's who you're becoming, and it's how you're 0:16:34.760 --> 0:16:39.320 expanding your ideas and understanding of what's possible for you. 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:43.280 It's like climbing the mountains, climbing the mountain, that the 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:45.880 gift is who you become climbing the mountain, what you 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:49.200 learn climbing the mountain, how you develop climbing the mountain. 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:52.720 So for me, I loved getting people in shape, and 0:16:52.760 --> 0:16:54.920 I loved training people for events and all of that. 0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:59.840 But I loved seeing this fucking this cognitive and emotional 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:05.600 and psychological metamorphosis where like the body is different, that's cool, 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:10.360 different body, but oh my god, the person's different. The 0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:14.719 person has really transformed because once the person changes, because 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:18.560 you're not training bodies, you're working with people who live 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:23.040 in bodies. And anyone can understand a body anatomy, physiology, 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:27.720 bio mechanics, fucking nutrition, sleep, breast recovery, cellular health, the 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:31.399 immune system, gut by. I'm cool, you can google all 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:35.400 that shit, right, that is relatively easy. But understanding the 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:41.320 fucking human who walks around in that body, that's a challenge. Now, 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:44.760 when you can get to that point where you are 0:17:44.800 --> 0:17:48.639 impacting the human not just the body, then that's fucking magic. 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:52.080 And sorry, I don't get excited at all. 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:57.960 No, didn't catch the excitement off that. I would also 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:02.080 dare say that was it a it addictive to be 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:07.840 able to support people to transform in that way? Like 0:18:07.840 --> 0:18:09.040 like what did you get from that? 0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:14.679 Yeah, that's not a word I would use, but I 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:22.359 understand the question. It's it's I yeah, I think like 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:26.840 it's almost like I think it's a this sounds cliche, 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:29.360 and people might go, oh fucking HELLY just says shit, 0:18:29.400 --> 0:18:33.160 that sounds I truly think this. I think it's a gift. Yeah. 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:36.119 I think, not that I have I've been given a gift, 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:38.479 or that I have an innate gift. I think it's 0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:42.800 a gift that I have been given in that me 0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:47.760 helping people is precious and I'm blessed and unfortunate and 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:52.320 I'm gifted to be able to do that right and too. 0:18:53.600 --> 0:18:56.120 Like I was going to say, nothing excites me more, 0:18:56.160 --> 0:18:58.560 that might be a lie, but I can't. Nothing springs 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:04.680 to mind than helping people to realize, and I mean 0:19:04.840 --> 0:19:08.760 realize in both ways, realize as in develop and operationalized, 0:19:08.760 --> 0:19:13.600 but also realize cognitively their own potential. I see people 0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:16.880 all the time and I think, oh, wow, you do 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:20.240 not know how good you are. You don't know how 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:24.760 good you can be, you know. And I'm going to 0:19:24.840 --> 0:19:27.119 throw him under the bus, right, But someone who's been 0:19:27.160 --> 0:19:29.320 on this show and this is a compliment for him, 0:19:30.040 --> 0:19:35.280 Scotty Douglas, who Tiff met today. It had brunch and 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:39.040 I had fucking coffee with him. He's the typ slut. 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:42.440 I'll just say it. Fuck it you know you are 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:48.600 you know you are Scott, and he doesn't realize how 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:51.280 fucking incredible he is. Like he's got a bit of 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:54.520 an insight. But that dude is clever. That dude has 0:19:54.520 --> 0:19:58.800 got a kind of intelligence and creativity. He's a gift 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:01.640 to the world. That motherfucker. He's a gift, you know. 0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:08.000 And he's he underestimates himself. I think he's got an idea, 0:20:08.160 --> 0:20:12.240 but he still underestimates himself. And you know, this is 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:15.119 one of the beautiful things about being a you know, 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:19.040 somebody who cares about other people is helping them to 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:25.000 really understand that they are the solution to all of this. 0:20:25.280 --> 0:20:28.000 You know, Craig's not the solution. Tift's not the solution. 0:20:28.840 --> 0:20:31.640 You know, I'm not special. Tift's not special. You're not special. 0:20:31.680 --> 0:20:33.960 We're just people who want to help people and serve people. 0:20:35.000 --> 0:20:37.880 And when you can help people to become the biggest 0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:40.600 asset in their own life, that's that's amazing. 0:20:42.960 --> 0:20:45.560 That's such a really high accolative. I was here, I'd 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:48.159 be like getting an audio snippet of that and just 0:20:48.280 --> 0:20:49.720 looping it over my Instagram. 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:53.800 You'll probably make it his fucking phone ring, Yeah, ring 0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:58.000 time that's it. Yeah, I don't know. I just yeah, 0:20:58.080 --> 0:21:01.160 I think it's I think it's a g I reckon, 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:03.600 I've got the best job in the world, like doing this, 0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:05.919 you know, having a show that people listen to, be 0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:09.359 and sponsored, you know, going to talk to people and companies, 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:12.520 you know, doing the stuff that I do. Where if 0:21:12.560 --> 0:21:14.760 I had another job, like if I was an accountant, 0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:17.440 I'd be listening to podcasts and reading all the shit 0:21:17.520 --> 0:21:20.399 I read now, and I'd be fascinated with the stuff 0:21:20.440 --> 0:21:23.919 I'm fascinated in, you know, Like, how lucky am I 0:21:23.960 --> 0:21:25.880 that it's actually what I do for a job. 0:21:26.680 --> 0:21:31.200 Yeah, it's pretty cool. Pretty cool. I'm going to change 0:21:32.520 --> 0:21:33.720 change my question now. 0:21:34.400 --> 0:21:36.919 I'm ready. I'm ready to change direction. Hang on, let 0:21:36.920 --> 0:21:39.680 me put on new pants and I'm good. You're good, 0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:40.280 Good to go. 0:21:42.600 --> 0:21:46.359 What I'm realizing at the moment, and I'm sure this 0:21:46.480 --> 0:21:48.399 is well, I think it's something that a lot of 0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:50.560 people probably go through as well. But one of the 0:21:50.560 --> 0:21:53.560 biggest realizations for me at the moment is that it's 0:21:53.600 --> 0:21:56.560 such a huge relief to be able to put up 0:21:56.560 --> 0:21:59.040 your hand and say, hey, I need help with something, 0:22:00.640 --> 0:22:04.280 and whether that's coming to going to a psychologist, going 0:22:04.320 --> 0:22:09.560 to a trainer, engaging with the right people. But it's 0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:13.919 for me at the moment, like it's something letting go 0:22:13.960 --> 0:22:19.240 of control of almost everything and just saying, hey, you're 0:22:19.240 --> 0:22:21.200 the right person for this. I know that you've got 0:22:21.200 --> 0:22:24.160 the skills. How can you help me? And so I'm 0:22:24.200 --> 0:22:27.320 not really framing this as a question, but it's what 0:22:27.440 --> 0:22:30.560 do you think or what's the kind of insight around 0:22:30.640 --> 0:22:34.560 that in Is it like a letting go of wanting 0:22:34.600 --> 0:22:39.640 to control everything? Is it just being more insightful? For instance, 0:22:39.720 --> 0:22:43.440 like I've dabbled in a lot of things in terms 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:47.159 of creativity, so I can spice together some videos, I 0:22:47.160 --> 0:22:49.439 can take photos, I can do a whole bunch of 0:22:49.480 --> 0:22:52.879 things at a kind of average level, and I've always 0:22:52.960 --> 0:22:55.640 just kind of thought I can do it, so therefore 0:22:55.680 --> 0:22:58.320 I will. And now I'm at a space where I'm like, 0:22:59.200 --> 0:23:01.959 I know other people well that can do it incredibly well, 0:23:02.440 --> 0:23:05.440