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Speaker 1: The seven money questions every couple needs to answer and ask.

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Speaker 1: Good morning, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of

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Speaker 1: Sugar Mama's Fireplay, your go to podcasts for all financial

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Speaker 1: matters including financial independence, financial security, and most importantly, long

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Speaker 1: term financial freedom.

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Speaker 2: I am Canna Campbell.

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Speaker 1: Financial Planner, and today we're talking about the money questions

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Speaker 1: that you must ask and answer before saying I do

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Speaker 1: or signing the dotted line. Money is one of the

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Speaker 1: leading causes of tension in relationships. According to Relationships Australia,

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Speaker 1: up to thirty two percent of relationships breakdown with separation

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Speaker 1: and divorce because of financial stress. Yet at the same time,

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Speaker 1: so many couples avoid discussing money and finances until it

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Speaker 1: is too late. Things are too messy and quite possibly irreparable.

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Speaker 1: But not you and not your partner. Because you are

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Speaker 1: here right now listening to this episode. You're educating yourself,

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Speaker 1: you're empowering yourself, and you're ensuring the your relationship is

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Speaker 1: built on a strong financial foundation. So in this episode today,

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Speaker 1: right now, I'm going to talk you through seven essential

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Speaker 1: questions that you need to ask your partner and actually

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Speaker 1: yourself before signing the dotted line and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: share with you how to navigate these conversations with honesty, respect,

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Speaker 1: and an important sense of teamwork, because, as they say,

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Speaker 1: teamwork makes the dream work. So sit back, relax, and

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Speaker 1: let's dive in, all right. Question number one, what does

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Speaker 1: financial freedom really mean to you? It's a really big question,

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Speaker 1: but we need to explore it carefully and dissect it now.

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Speaker 1: For some people, financial freedom means like retiring early and

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Speaker 1: never ever worry about money. Again, it's quite simple. But

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Speaker 1: for others it's a lot more than that. It's about

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Speaker 1: the ability to travel, to donate money to charity, or

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Speaker 1: to give their time to charity, to own a home,

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Speaker 1: or provide education for their children or their grandchildren. Some

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Speaker 1: may see it as simply being debt free, whilst others

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Speaker 1: have great, big, passive income stream goals. The key here

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Speaker 1: is not just to listen to your partner's answer, but

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Speaker 1: to also reflect on your own and consider if your

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Speaker 1: visions and your values are actually aligned. If not, that's

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Speaker 1: actually okay, that's perfectly fine, it's even healthy. But you

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Speaker 1: need to look at is their room for compromise and collaboration.

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Speaker 1: And these questions are incredibly powerful because it sets the

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Speaker 1: foundation for how you both view money today and in

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Speaker 1: the future, and what you ultimately want to work together

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Speaker 1: as a team. So sit back, relax, write down your answers,

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Speaker 1: and listen carefully with respect to what your partner says,

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Speaker 1: and think about whether you're both open to alterations and

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Speaker 1: changes if you like the sound of what each other says.

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Speaker 1: To what money habits from your upbringing, your childhood do

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Speaker 1: you want to keep and which ones do you want

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Speaker 1: to leave behind. Our childhood experiences with money really do

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Speaker 1: shape the way we manage money as adults, sometimes for

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Speaker 1: the better, sometimes not, but that's okay, and there's lots

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Speaker 1: of ways we can fix any childhood issues. So I

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Speaker 1: want you to think about how you grew up. Did

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Speaker 1: you grow up in a household where money was scarce.

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Speaker 1: If so, you may have actually developed a scarcity mindset

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Speaker 1: where you've always been in fear that there won't be

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Speaker 1: enough money, or you're not even maybe worthy of having money.

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Speaker 1: Or perhaps you saw really responsible budgeting habits in action

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Speaker 1: and you want to carry those forward into your own life.

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Speaker 1: On the other hand, perhaps your family was really frugal

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Speaker 1: and you don't actually want to live a life that bad,

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Speaker 1: and you know with such I guess a type flow

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Speaker 1: around money and so you have an extreme reaction when

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Speaker 1: you see that. Or perhaps you grew up in a

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Speaker 1: family where money was never spoken about and you really

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Speaker 1: want to chase that with your family. Make it different,

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Speaker 1: give your children that financial empowerment. I know for myself,

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Speaker 1: I watched a little bit of financial instability. We weren't struggling,

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Speaker 1: but it felt like it really fluctuated to me as

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Speaker 1: a child from my point of view, So for me,

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Speaker 1: when I think about what I want to take and

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Speaker 1: what I want to leave behind, I obviously want to

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Speaker 1: take that empowerment and that education. But for me, I

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Speaker 1: really value stability and security. So having those conversations with

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Speaker 1: Tom was really important. And as he heard my answer,

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Speaker 1: he agreed that he liked the sound of that and

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Speaker 1: we could incorporate it in that into our goals together.

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Speaker 1: So take a moment to think about the money habits

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Speaker 1: that you're really wanting to keep and what you want

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Speaker 1: to leave behind safely and rebuild from. Do things differently,

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Speaker 1: And as I said, listen to your partner's perspective with

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Speaker 1: curiosity and respect. Understanding their financial background can give you

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Speaker 1: a really valuable insight as to how they think and

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Speaker 1: feel and behave when it comes to money today. And

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Speaker 1: as I said, these are going to be really powerful

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Speaker 1: building blocks because you get to consciously choose what you

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Speaker 1: want to take forward and keep, but actually put together

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Speaker 1: as solid building blocks and then go on and build

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Speaker 1: an amazing powerhouse of financial stability, security, and of course

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Speaker 1: freedom because you've invested time having that conversation. Now, question

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Speaker 1: number three, what is your current financial situation looking like?

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Speaker 1: This is all about being honest, airing your dirty laundry

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Speaker 1: if necessary, or actually peeling back the layers and saying, yeah, actually,

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Speaker 1: I've actually been really savvy with money and smart with money.

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Speaker 1: Lay everything on the table, your income, your savings, your debts,

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Speaker 1: your investments, superannuation, all your financial commitments, absolutely everything. Now

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Speaker 1: I understand this may feel uncomfortable for a variety of

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Speaker 1: different reasons, but please feel safe in doing this.

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Speaker 2: And if you have a.

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Speaker 1: Financial situation that you're not necessarily proud of, I don't

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Speaker 1: want you to feel embarrassed or be filled with shame

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Speaker 1: or guilt. I want you to share your financial satuation

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Speaker 1: with a sense of reality and ownership. Okay, maybe you've

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Speaker 1: got credit card debt, but you're working on paying it off.

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Speaker 1: That's the important thing. Or perhaps it's the other end

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Speaker 1: of the spectrum. You've actually built an incredible investment portfolio

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Speaker 1: and you've maybe inherited money, or you made a really

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Speaker 1: smart investment, or you've got a very generous employee share plan,

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Speaker 1: you've built incredible wealth, or perhaps you've just done the

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Speaker 1: good old fashioned hard work and built wealth. Whatever it is,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. Be transparent. You would never want your

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Speaker 1: partner hiding anything from you, so don't do the same.

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Speaker 1: And remember this. Making that decision to be a couple,

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Speaker 1: through marriage or through whatever institutional and spiritual arrangement you have,

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Speaker 1: you're deciding to be a team. You're agreeing to be

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Speaker 1: a team, and you're going to build something together that

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Speaker 1: is stronger than you've ever built before. So it's important

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Speaker 1: that you have that full visibility over where you are

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Speaker 1: right now so that you can build on together from

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Speaker 1: this starting point. Question number four, how do you approach budgeting?

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Speaker 1: And how can we make budgeting easier for both of us?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 1: Some people love to track every single dollar that they

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Speaker 1: spend in a detailed spreadsheet, whilst others find it incredibly

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Speaker 1: tedious and overwhelming and just refer to like live life

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Speaker 1: in the moment and think, well, I don't have a budget,

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Speaker 1: but I spend everything that I earn. This is where

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Speaker 1: you need to have that conversation about how you might

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Speaker 1: do things differently going forward that's going to actually benefit

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Speaker 1: your financial situation. And how are you going to manage

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Speaker 1: money together on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthly basis,

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Speaker 1: fortnightly basis, on your basis and going forward.

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Speaker 2: Are you going to use a spreadsheet?

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Speaker 1: Are you going to use a budgeting app or are

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Speaker 1: you going to use cash in an envelope system? Or

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Speaker 1: perhaps you might even want to use my budgeting a

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Speaker 1: cash flow system, or perhaps neither of you wan't to

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Speaker 1: even use a budget not something that I would recommend,

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Speaker 1: But of course there are people out there where both

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Speaker 1: couples don't have a budget because I don't want one.

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Speaker 2: But this is important. You've got to have this conversation.

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Speaker 1: How can we make managing our money and our cash

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Speaker 1: flow easier and more particularly if we have some exciting

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Speaker 1: financial goals that we want to work on together. So

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Speaker 1: this is where you start looking at solutions and strategies.

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Speaker 1: Perhaps you need to look at automating some of your finances,

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Speaker 1: like a regular savings plan or a regular investment plan.

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Speaker 1: Or perhaps you need to make sure that all your

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Speaker 1: bills now come out of a joint bank account, and

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Speaker 1: perhaps you now need to switch from using credit cards

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Speaker 1: to maybe just using ATM debit cards if you know

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Speaker 1: that you've got a bit of a credit card debt

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Speaker 1: problem behind you, or you want to build up some

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Speaker 1: savings and you like the accountability of using a debit

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Speaker 1: card because you're spending cash rather than building credit card debt.

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Speaker 2: In your life. Whatever you choose is got to bring clarity.

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Speaker 1: It's obviously got to be open, transparent and regularly reviewed

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Speaker 1: and updated. When things change or there's a new expense

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Speaker 1: or an existing expense has gone up, you've got to

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Speaker 1: make sure you sit down together and update it. But

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's got to work

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Speaker 1: for you, both immediately and into the long run. So

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Speaker 1: have those conversations about how you're going to be doing

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Speaker 1: your budgets, but also how you to be managing the

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Speaker 1: cash flow bank accounts, where your income go to, which accounts,

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Speaker 1: what you have your expenses coming out, and how you're

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Speaker 1: going to divv them up. Together, which brings me to

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Speaker 1: my next question, what are the short term, medium term,

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Speaker 1: and long term financial goals that we want to work

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Speaker 1: on together, including the fun months. So when we talk

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Speaker 1: about financial goals, it's easy to just simply focus on

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Speaker 1: the serious ones like saving up for a home, investing,

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Speaker 1: paying off a home, paying off debt, But don't be

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Speaker 1: boring and a stickler.

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Speaker 2: Think about the fun goals, the goals.

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Speaker 1: That give us light at the end of the tunnel

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Speaker 1: and give us a sense of sanity, things like an

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Speaker 1: amazing holiday or upgrading a car, or maybe something really

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Speaker 1: simple like a few key pieces for your winter wardrobe,

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Speaker 1: or you know, some new gadgets for the home, or

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Speaker 1: if like Tom, you know, buying a new piece of

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Speaker 1: golf equipment like a driver. You know, these are the

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Speaker 1: conversations you should be having because money isn't it about

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Speaker 1: just budgeting and investing in superinnuation and paying off your home,

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Speaker 1: And it's about adventure and having fun and you know,

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Speaker 1: even things about what courses you want to do together.

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Speaker 2: So think about the things.

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Speaker 1: That are important to you and what do you want

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Speaker 1: to achieve even individually, that you want to work on,

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Speaker 1: and what do you want to work on together, think

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Speaker 1: about the goals that actually bring you joy and excitement

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Speaker 1: and keep both of you motivated and feeling empowered. You know,

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Speaker 1: money isn't just about security, It's also about creating and

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Speaker 1: enjoying a life that you really do love, and you

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Speaker 1: really do love together. So make sure that you obviously

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Speaker 1: have those responsible financial goals, but please make sure you're

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Speaker 1: including goals that excite you and inspire you, and again,

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Speaker 1: listen to each other's answers with respect and love. Question six,

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Speaker 1: how are going to handle financial setbacks and how we're

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Speaker 1: going to proactively avoid them together? Okay, so let's be honest.

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Speaker 1: Let's be real. Life happens, things happen out.

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Speaker 2: Of the blue.

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Speaker 1: There are unexpected expenses, there are job losses, there are

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Speaker 1: medical emergencies, and financial st con strain even the strongest relationships.

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Speaker 1: I've shared with you in previous podcasts where Tom and

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Speaker 1: I went through frugal February a couple of years, and

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Speaker 1: Agorede was far from frugal. We had over one hundred

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars worth of water damaged into our house, which

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Speaker 1: wasn't ensurable. Both our dogs got sick for separate reasons.

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Speaker 1: Our garage broke, we had to get a new motor.

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Speaker 1: It was just blow after blow after blow. We just

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Speaker 1: felt that the hits just kept on coming and it

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Speaker 1: put us under a huge amount of financial stress. But

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Speaker 1: because we worked together as a team, we were respectful,

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Speaker 1: we were open, we were transparent, and we focused on solutions.

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Speaker 2: We managed to get through it.

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Speaker 1: And I can say with my hand in my heart,

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Speaker 1: our relationship is so much stronger from those tough times.

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Speaker 1: So what I recommend for you guys to do is

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Speaker 1: to discuss how you would handle setbacks, the conversation around

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Speaker 1: emergency money. How much emergency money should you have? What

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Speaker 1: is realistic as to what you need for your situation

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Speaker 1: and your financial responsibilities. There is not a magical formula here.

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Speaker 1: Need to have those conversations. And where is that an

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Speaker 1: agency money to sit? Is it going to sit in

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Speaker 1: a joint account, is it going to sit in separate

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Speaker 1: accounts or is it going to sit in a redoor

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Speaker 1: facility or an offset account if you already have a

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Speaker 1: home together. And what about personal insurances? Do you each

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Speaker 1: have income protection, life insurance, trauma cover These are really

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Speaker 1: important because when something goes wrong, an ambulance is called

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Speaker 1: or a doctor says, you need to come back in

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Speaker 1: and we need.

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Speaker 2: To do some more tests. It's too late to take

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Speaker 2: these policies out.

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Speaker 1: And of course, yes, you might have annually, you might

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Speaker 1: have sickly, you might even have a long service leave,

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Speaker 1: but that's only going to give you a certain level

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Speaker 1: of protection. You need to think about long term protection

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Speaker 1: to handle these situations. And think about that number, that

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Speaker 1: emergency number. It's not a magical formula. As I said,

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Speaker 1: you need to think about the responsibilities that you each

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Speaker 1: have and think of a number that you can both

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Speaker 1: come up with together that will mean you both sleep

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Speaker 1: well at night.

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Speaker 2: So avoid these stresses. Make sure you.

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Speaker 1: Prepare for it in advance. I've never met someone who

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Speaker 1: regretted having emergency money. And talk about all the different

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Speaker 1: citcenarios to help you come up with that security plan.

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Speaker 1: How are you going to save up that emergency money?

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Speaker 1: What conversations you need to be having with who about

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Speaker 1: income protection? You want to make sure that no matter

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Speaker 1: what life drows your way, you are still standing on

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Speaker 1: your own two feet, or if you do get knocked over,

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Speaker 1: it's only temporary and you have enough safety nets around

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Speaker 1: you to help pull you up again. And get you

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Speaker 1: back on track heading in the right direction. Have these

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Speaker 1: conversations now, and get professional advice if need be. And

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Speaker 1: then finally, question number seven, how are you going to

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Speaker 1: merge our finances? How are we going to navigate if

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Speaker 1: there's a period in our life where we go to

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Speaker 1: a one income period. Every couple approaches joint finances differently.

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Speaker 1: Some like to merge absolutely everything immediately, And I will

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Speaker 1: share with you that over a period of time Tom

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Speaker 1: and I, when we had children together, that was the

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Speaker 1: defining point where we went, okay, none of this, this.

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Speaker 2: Is mine, this is yours.

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Speaker 1: We're pulling everything together and I've had no regrets in

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Speaker 1: doing this. So we need to understand there is no

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Speaker 1: one size fits all in st struction or formula for couples.

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Speaker 1: You know, as I said, like to keep a separate

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Speaker 1: some like to contribute to shared expenses, and some like

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Speaker 1: to actually even look at Okay, well, I earn one

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Speaker 1: hundred thousand dollars a year, you earn fifty, So we'll

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Speaker 1: run the expenses, you know in that proportion where I

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Speaker 1: cover you know, two thirds, you cover one third.

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Speaker 2: Just make sure whatever you.

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Speaker 1: Pick you both agree to, you feel it's respectable and

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Speaker 1: you feel is fair and equitable. But the thing with

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Speaker 1: this is you need to go beyond that and have

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Speaker 1: the conversation as to what happens further down the track

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Speaker 1: if one of you takes time off work, whether it

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Speaker 1: be raising a family, whether it be to do some

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Speaker 1: additional study, or whether it be something that's kind of

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Speaker 1: happened under unexpected circumstances. Are you going to be able

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Speaker 1: to rely on that other person for income and financial

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Speaker 1: stability or can they rely on you for financial stability

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Speaker 1: and to cover the expenses? How are you going to

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Speaker 1: manage the expenses? You've got to have a proactive plan

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Speaker 1: in place or some clearly defined boundaries so that you

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Speaker 1: know where each of you stand, and this will really

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Speaker 1: help prevent tension and resentment further down the track. And

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Speaker 1: you also need to have those conversations, particularly if you're

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Speaker 1: talking about, Okay, well what happens when we have children? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I might go to part time work, or I might

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Speaker 1: actually take three or four years off to have children

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Speaker 1: and have a couple of children, or having many children

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Speaker 1: you dream of having. What's the long term cost to

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Speaker 1: my super How are we going to manage that together?

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Speaker 1: Because whilst I'm not working, I'm out of the workforce,

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Speaker 1: I'm not earning super but also my career path is

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Speaker 1: on hold. You know, it might be harder to get

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Speaker 1: back in again. Also, you know, how are we going

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Speaker 1: to manage child care expenses? You know daycare is expensive.

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Speaker 1: How are we going to manage that? Will the person

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Speaker 1: who's working full time remaining in the workforce to be

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Speaker 1: able to cover all those expenses, or do we expect

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Speaker 1: each other to return back to work or perhaps the

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Speaker 1: main income it might go Actually, you know what, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go part time or maybe you both go

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Speaker 1: part time. Have these conversations right now. And it's also

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Speaker 1: not just about having children necessarily. What happens if one

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Speaker 1: of you goes You know what, I really need to

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Speaker 1: do an MBA to take my career path to the

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Speaker 1: next level. It's going to involve me going to part

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Speaker 1: time work or actually taking a year off work to

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Speaker 1: really focus on getting this done. Are you okay supporting

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Speaker 1: me during this period? Can you manage all our expenses?

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Speaker 1: Or perhaps we need to maybe save up a couple

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Speaker 1: of years in advance to prepare for these times. You

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Speaker 1: know what if another person wants to have a career path.

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Speaker 1: They're earning a great income, but they're not fulfilled, they're

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Speaker 1: not happy, and they think, you know what, I actually

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Speaker 1: really want to change my career path, and that career

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Speaker 1: path is a very different earning capacity. You know, the

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Speaker 1: income is going to dramatically change and reduce. How are

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Speaker 1: you going to proactively handle that? Have those conversations. Now,

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Speaker 1: this is not about filling you with fear or worry

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Speaker 1: or panic, but just putting food for thought, making sure

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Speaker 1: that you're thinking about it. And if these things are

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Speaker 1: important to you, you can start planning. For example, you

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Speaker 1: can start saving up to have a family and to

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Speaker 1: go down to one income. You can start saving up

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Speaker 1: to pay for that MBA. You can start, you know,

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Speaker 1: tackling the mortgage or start investing so that you don't

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Speaker 1: want you to worry so much about earning less from

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Speaker 1: a career path. Have these conversations together, write things down, brainstorm,

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Speaker 1: do more research, get professional advice where you need it.

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Speaker 2: So there you have it.

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Speaker 1: Seven really powerful conversations to have with each other before

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Speaker 1: you sign the dotted line. But here's the most important part,

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Speaker 1: and a cast stress is enough. Listen carefully to both

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Speaker 1: your own answers and your partner's answers. Listen and show respect.

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Speaker 1: Approach these conversations from a place of education and apartment,

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Speaker 1: never criticism or judgment. Everybody is different with their background

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Speaker 1: around money. Everyone has different types of blocks, everyone has

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Speaker 1: different types of fears, and also, of course people may

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Speaker 1: have different levels of financial empowerment. You need to make

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Speaker 1: sure each other feels safe, secure, and heard at all times.

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Speaker 1: Money isn't just about numbers. It's about trust, it's about values,

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Speaker 1: and it's about building a fabulous financial future together that's

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Speaker 1: actually filled with unconditional love. So whether you're newly engaged,

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Speaker 1: whether you've been in a long term relationship, or you're

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Speaker 1: just starting to have these conversations with a new partner,

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Speaker 1: please make sure that you take the time to work

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Speaker 1: through these questions. It could be the best investment you

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Speaker 1: ever make in your relationship, for better or for worse.

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Speaker 1: So thank you everyone for listening to this morning's episode

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Speaker 1: on Sugar Mamma's Fireplay. Of course, if you found this

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Speaker 1: episode valuable, please take the time to go and share

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Speaker 1: it with someone you love, a friend, a family member,

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Speaker 1: or of course someone who's special in your love life

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Speaker 1: right now. And if you haven't already, Please make sure

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Speaker 1: you've hit subscribe you're following this show so that you

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Speaker 1: never miss an episode, and of course, please always feel

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Speaker 1: free to reach out to me on Instagram at sugar

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Speaker 1: Mama TV if you have any questions at all. Until

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Speaker 1: next time, stay empowered, stay educated, and keep your eye

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Speaker 1: on the prize financial independence that burns bright with it.

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Speaker 1: This is Sugar Mama's fireplay.