1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: This is the Fitsy and Whip with Kate Richie podcast. 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 2: I just have to cover this story because I'm mad 3 00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 2: for a double life story. Firstly because I'm a busy lady. 4 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 2: But I do know one thing I'll never be able 5 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,439 Speaker 2: to fit in is a double life because I just 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 2: don't have time for it. I am absolutely gobsmacked and 7 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:23,119 Speaker 2: in awe of people who can have one family over 8 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 2: here and have another whole complete. I mean, I hear 9 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:30,319 Speaker 2: the way. I mean not so much you, Fitzy, but 10 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 2: whip of the way you complain about all the things 11 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 2: you have to do just to run on run one family. 12 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 3: You got paid to have a double life, really, didn't you? 13 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 3: That was your job, Kate? 14 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was going to go down that road. 15 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 2: It's going to get so heavy and deep, and it's 16 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 2: very confusing. At times, I did feel as though I 17 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 2: was living another existence. Am I waking up in my 18 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 2: bed in Campbelltown and going to school or am I 19 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 2: changing the sheets in the caravan park today? 20 00:00:57,880 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 3: I don't know which one was more complicated. That's actually 21 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 3: a great question. A few economic headwinds. 22 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 4: You know what. 23 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 2: I Am going to take ownership of that question and 24 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 2: follow up with an answer, you. 25 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: Have taken the to take ownership follow up. 26 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 2: Well, let's be honest. I think Sally Fletcher's life was 27 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 2: incredibly complicated when you're fighting cancers and love interests and. 28 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: Stabbed on the road mud slides. 29 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,679 Speaker 2: Yes, I got I think I got shot in the 30 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:31,680 Speaker 2: diner wonder. 31 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 3: Du Well, I'm sorry about that. 32 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: I was. 33 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:40,319 Speaker 2: Luckily also was there anyway? This this this guy, he's 34 00:01:40,319 --> 00:01:43,720 Speaker 2: been living a double life and it all came undone 35 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 2: when he came home from a work trip. He had 36 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 2: to travel a lot for work. He was so tired 37 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 2: he didn't unpack his suitcase. So his wife of five 38 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 2: years thought, I'm going to do a really nice deed here. 39 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 2: I'll take his washing out, you know, I'll unpack the suitcase. 40 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 2: She's unpacked the suitcase and this photo of a woman 41 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:05,960 Speaker 2: and then a photo of an eighteen month old baby. 42 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 2: Now she thought that maybe the suitcases had been had been, 43 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 2: but it had his undies in it, so it must 44 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 2: have been his. And she confronted him, and you know, 45 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 2: head in hands, he was in tears, saying, I knew 46 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 2: you'd find out one day he'd had an affair with 47 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 2: a woman. I'm guessing you know, a couple of years ago, 48 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 2: which has had resulted in the eighteen month old child, 49 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:36,760 Speaker 2: and she's thinking, oh, okay, he has another family living 50 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 2: in one of these countries he has to travel to 51 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 2: for work. This is just in Perth. You know, this 52 00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:45,519 Speaker 2: family's living about five k's down the road. So when 53 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 2: he leaves to go, he's just driving, you know, ten 54 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 2: minutes away and hanging out with the second family. This woman, 55 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 2: the wife, they already had two children, they'd spent five 56 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 2: six years together, already. 57 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 3: Thirteen twenty fourteen, guining I'd love to hear from the 58 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 3: links that they went to to lead to Lowell a 59 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 3: double life, well. 60 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 2: A double life or actually, what I'd like to know 61 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,920 Speaker 2: is maybe what you found in the suitcase that brought 62 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 2: it all one and done when they've come home. 63 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: Other great topic, because you wonder what an idiot for 64 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,120 Speaker 1: putting a photo unless the other wife slipped it into 65 00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 1: the suitcase and he didn't know who packs a photo 66 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,280 Speaker 1: of your second family inside your suitcase? I'm all right, guys, 67 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 1: you're not wrong. We're those look really really bad. 68 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 2: I think, I mean the question should be who leads 69 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,720 Speaker 2: a double life in the first place, and then secondly yes, 70 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 2: if you decide to do that, who pops the photo in? 71 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 3: It's the stress of work first of all, and then 72 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 3: having to come home to the family when you've got 73 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 3: two on the go. He'd have a favorite one as well. 74 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: That's the family Thursday beats Favorite. 75 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 3: There would be one family. Yeah, I said, I am 76 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 3: doing overtime this family. 77 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: To please the grumpy one again. Is that how it will? 78 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:01,200 Speaker 2: Maybe you are the grumpy one, if he's something the 79 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 2: word grumpy out around. I'm certainly not grumpy. 80 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: You haven't seen grumpy. I think this is I'm like, no, 81 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: I'm just you don't need to defend the grumpy one. 82 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: Oh my god, can we Tommy? Can we try? I mean, 83 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,799 Speaker 1: I know we're going to do a Taylor Swift seats blitz, 84 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 1: but can we throw it out there? 85 00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 4: Sure? 86 00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 1: If anybody has come across an or experience to double life, 87 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: maybe you had a crack at it, maybe you found 88 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:31,039 Speaker 1: out that your husband was seeing somebody else, but but 89 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,520 Speaker 1: big time, big time, Like, oh my god, there's a 90 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: knock at the door. Who's here? It's the Balinese family 91 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 1: fair we didn't know about. 92 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 3: We can keep you anonymous as well, because but let's 93 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,359 Speaker 3: be honest. I mean a majority of the time it 94 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:49,800 Speaker 3: is the bloke, isn't it. That's always yeah, he's yeah. 95 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,320 Speaker 3: I'd love to hear. How draining is it. We can 96 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 3: keep you anonymous, we can change your name. 97 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 2: I don't know how you can manage it. You've got 98 00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 2: to have a very good memory, that's for sure. Let's 99 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 2: go to Kelly in Kogra. Are you leading a double life? 100 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 4: I'm not leading a double life, but I do tell 101 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:07,840 Speaker 4: people about double life. 102 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 1: What do you mean how do you find out about 103 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: it and what goes on? Kelly? 104 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 4: I work in deceased estates and when someone passes away 105 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,479 Speaker 4: with our will, I have to put a family tree 106 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,479 Speaker 4: together to work out who is entitled. 107 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: Oh my god, fascinating. 108 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:27,039 Speaker 4: New times. We've had to tell families where no, you're 109 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 4: not the only children. There's about six. There's two wives 110 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 4: or a girlfriend and a wife that we've found. 111 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,920 Speaker 1: It's amazing what you find out when someone dies, isn't 112 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: it It is? 113 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,679 Speaker 4: Yes, all the skeletons come out of the closet. 114 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 3: What's the most interesting reaction that you've had, Kelly, when 115 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 3: you've had to tell a family about a double life. 116 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,200 Speaker 4: I'm not sure that we get the reaction. They probably 117 00:05:53,279 --> 00:05:56,560 Speaker 4: keep them a bit self composed while they're speaking to us, 118 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,040 Speaker 4: because we do say we're really sorry to tell you this, 119 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:05,119 Speaker 4: but unfortunately this is the second stance. But a few times, 120 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 4: you know, you get the hayar. 121 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: Or yep, you don't know what you're talking about. 122 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 4: The person that passed away. 123 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 2: Now FIXI did mention when we were talking about this 124 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 2: before that he tends to think it's the men leading 125 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,920 Speaker 2: the double lives rather than the women. Is that usually the. 126 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 4: Case more times out of a time. 127 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:29,680 Speaker 3: Gain Yeah, yeah, okay, So we have three mobile phones 128 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 3: we found we have a young man who's given us 129 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 3: a call. I've changed his name Stuart and Surry Hills. 130 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 3: You're leading a double life at the moment, Stu. 131 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, talk us through your situation and your setup. Mate. 132 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 5: Well, I was with a girl for a while and 133 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 5: she then decided to call off and I was not 134 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 5: real happy about it, badly in love with her. Anyway, 135 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 5: things didn't work out. Uh, he's on the track. I'm married, 136 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,159 Speaker 5: and then that girl comes back into my life, doesn't 137 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 5: know that I'm married. I don't tell her that I'm married, 138 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,359 Speaker 5: and things sort of pick up. She tells me that 139 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 5: she hadn't broken up and before a hour, I'm in 140 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 5: the state a lot with my work, so I'm sort 141 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,960 Speaker 5: of going one more than normal and ended up with 142 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:26,560 Speaker 5: the original girl with the children. And now do you 143 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,559 Speaker 5: start the girl's pregnant. 144 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,360 Speaker 3: STU? How long has this been going on for the 145 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 3: double Life? 146 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,080 Speaker 5: Three and a half years? 147 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:35,480 Speaker 3: Oh? 148 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: Star? 149 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 2: Now are you are you saying that you were probably 150 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,560 Speaker 2: always still in love with this woman that you're not 151 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:42,280 Speaker 2: now having. 152 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, she broke it off. I was never happy 153 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 5: that she broke it off, came back in. It was 154 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 5: fairly easy to think to switch. 155 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 1: Back into it. Can I ask, because you know you 156 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 1: do talk and discuss about discuss previous relationships in your 157 00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: current relationship, does your leave your wife know about this girl? 158 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:07,160 Speaker 5: No? No, no, no, what do you think about. 159 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,600 Speaker 1: Her that would do to her? Like do you have? 160 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 2: Are you would she thinks that you're happily married with 161 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 2: the kids. 162 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 5: Well, no, she does nothing about it. I just don't 163 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 5: discuss it. 164 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: But on the front, though, does she think you're happy 165 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: at home your actual wife? 166 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 5: Ah? We have ups and downs, obviously, but you know 167 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 5: it's not I wouldn't tell you it's a bad marriage. 168 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:39,160 Speaker 5: It's it's just difficult, Steward. 169 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 2: But what's the hardest thing to kind of manage in 170 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,200 Speaker 2: this situation? What is the I mean that the leading 171 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: of a double life? How do you how do you 172 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 2: keep things covered or what do you struggle with the most? 173 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 5: I just try not. I just I just try not 174 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 5: to give out information so I don't get caught in 175 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:01,959 Speaker 5: the web. Yeah, that makes she asked questions. I sing 176 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 5: a word answers and eight so often get accused of 177 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:12,080 Speaker 5: being distanced. But that's that's me trying to travel situation. 178 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 2: Well, that's probably you been. 179 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,440 Speaker 3: And what's the close closest you got bustards to a. 180 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 5: A couple of misdirected messages on a phone. I just 181 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 5: I don't even know how I got out of it. 182 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:28,559 Speaker 5: I just said it must be the wrong number. I 183 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 5: don't know what is in. 184 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,439 Speaker 3: You sound tired? How can for three and a half 185 00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 3: years do you get do you get huge amounts of 186 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 3: guilt at certain stage to where you think to yourself, 187 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 3: what have I done? What am I doing? 188 00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:47,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm to be honest, I'm going to get bustard. 189 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 5: So I just can't bring myself to going to. 190 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:54,720 Speaker 2: A sensitive will probably be a sense of relief when 191 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 2: that happens, because I'm not sure how this ends well. 192 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,040 Speaker 1: Because you're sitting there thinking, am I better to tell 193 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 1: her and break her heart? Or am I better just 194 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 1: to get busted and then deal with it then, because 195 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: you know the problem might solve itself tomorrow, so maybe 196 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 1: you're better off having a conversation. 197 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,679 Speaker 5: I just can't bring myself to do it, that's the problem. 198 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: What's her name and number? Stew we can put in 199 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 1: a call. No, we will not do that. No, I 200 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,079 Speaker 1: should turn the situation. 201 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 2: Feel for everyone involved. 202 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 3: I have to say, Stu, if you do win the 203 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 3: double de Taylor Swift, who will you give it to? 204 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 5: My Niece's justum believably. It's the point of that she 205 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 5: hasn't managed to get hit. 206 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,840 Speaker 3: Okay, well he's already made his decision there, Thanks Stuart. 207 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: It's you know what a story? 208 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:44,959 Speaker 4: What? 209 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,720 Speaker 1: I can't believe you stressed. 210 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 3: Like Stewart, He's past the point of no return. So 211 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 3: he's he said to himself, I want to get busted 212 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,679 Speaker 3: because I don't know how to handle this. 213 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,520 Speaker 2: What do you think it's really important? He's ends up 214 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,200 Speaker 2: and takes some ownership. At this point, it's never. It 215 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 2: is never going to be good. But you know what 216 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,040 Speaker 2: you do it now it's three and a half years 217 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 2: and at least you can hang on to the fact 218 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:13,680 Speaker 2: that you decided to be honest, or we could be 219 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 2: talking to Stuart, you know, in another three years. 220 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: It's just all fits in. 221 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,840 Speaker 3: Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast walk great 222 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 3: shows like this. 223 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,040 Speaker 1: Download the Nova Player, buy the App Store or Google 224 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: Playing the Nova Player