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Speaker 1: Apod Shape Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to another episode about my.

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Speaker 1: Mad Mom podcast.

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Speaker 3: I went to well, I guess it's a documentary, but

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Speaker 3: it was being shown at the cinemas in New Farm

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Speaker 3: last week. It was like the opening, but it's called

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Speaker 3: scene and it's a parenting documentary that they've just done.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is so relevant.

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Speaker 1: Have you seen it? Or have you seen the shorts

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Speaker 1: to it or there?

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Speaker 2: No, I haven't seen anything about that that you're talking about. However,

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Speaker 2: the being seen thing is so big in our house

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Speaker 2: at the moment, and so when we reflect on our

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Speaker 2: parenting and I go, oh, could I have done some

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Speaker 2: stuff differently? One of the things I would have definitely differently,

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Speaker 2: And for anyone with younger kids, like implement this, because

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Speaker 2: they do your fucking head in right. The amount of

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Speaker 2: times I was like, I don't want to look at

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Speaker 2: another handstand, Like I'm sick of seeing handstands all over

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Speaker 2: the house. No, I don't want to watch you do this.

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Speaker 2: It's like watch me, watch me, watch me, watch me,

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Speaker 2: watch me. And I got so frustrated by that, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that I would deliberately be like, no, I am not

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Speaker 2: watching you now. I don't want to see another handstand.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to see that while I'm cooking. I'm

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Speaker 2: not looking at you because it was so frustrating. And

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Speaker 2: now I'm like, wow, she really needs to be seen,

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Speaker 2: Like I can see it. Yeah, you can see how

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Speaker 2: much they need to be seen now. And I wish

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Speaker 2: I'd seen them a bit more back then.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So it's a documentary, an Australian documentary all put together.

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Speaker 1: Maggie Dan't's obviously in it.

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Speaker 3: She's got the amazing books like, but she talks about

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Speaker 3: her story like. It's an actual documentary with real parents

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Speaker 3: going through their thick of being a parent and their

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Speaker 3: true story. And it was so moving Katie. But I

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Speaker 3: walked out with so many real moments in it.

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Speaker 1: I just want to share it to go.

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Speaker 3: If you have noticed it or seen it on socials

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Speaker 3: or whatever, give it a follow, have a look at it.

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Speaker 3: Maybe see if you can get your hands on watching

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Speaker 3: this documentary. It was excellent and there's so much that

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Speaker 3: each and every one of us as a parent can

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Speaker 3: learn about ourselves as to why we parent the way

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Speaker 3: that we do with our children right, and the time

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Speaker 3: is now to sort of make that change and be

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Speaker 3: able to like implement like, yes, you girls are sixteen,

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Speaker 3: but it can still change now and you can really

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Speaker 3: format your relationship differently if you choose to.

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Speaker 2: I do do that now, Like, yes, I definitely wish

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Speaker 2: I'd done things differently before. But I actually like when

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Speaker 2: they go, mum, can I show you this, and I'm

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Speaker 2: in the middle of something like busy stuff going on,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, Okay, she needs to be seen right now.

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Speaker 2: I love with Holly now, and I'm like, Colleen, do

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Speaker 2: you need to be seen?

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Speaker 3: Because oh, this is like they talk about seeing heard, yeah,

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Speaker 3: felt coming down on their level and understanding that. You know,

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Speaker 3: even though what a problem to us would be so

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Speaker 3: so tiny, so little to them is their whole world

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Speaker 3: and the biggest problem that they've ever so that comparison

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Speaker 3: to being able to come down on their level, understanding, listening, seeing,

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Speaker 3: hearing them and then letting them feel it and not

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Speaker 3: being dismissive because I was so much in their case.

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Speaker 2: I was always so dismissive, like that's not a problem,

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Speaker 2: like since I said this at school, who cares, you know,

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Speaker 2: But it's actually like I'm going, Okay, this is a

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Speaker 2: big deal in your world. Let me listen and hear

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Speaker 2: you and see you.

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Speaker 3: And it's so so good, And they're not always after

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Speaker 3: a solution.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing.

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Speaker 2: I've always gone straight to the solution. Oh, this person's

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Speaker 2: being mean or this has happened, Okay, how do I

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Speaker 2: fix that?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: And I think, mums do how do I fix that

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Speaker 2: for you? Whereas actually a lot of the time it's like,

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Speaker 2: don't need to fix it, just listen.

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Speaker 3: And the interesting part in which they sort of touch

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Speaker 3: on and they talk about is this documentary has been

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Speaker 3: sort of brought to life to be able to help

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Speaker 3: parents and switch it up and sort of put an

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Speaker 3: end to the generational trauma that they say and have

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Speaker 3: done studies and it's all backed scientifically.

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Speaker 1: We have the ability to change the story. We have

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Speaker 1: the ability to.

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Speaker 3: Make sure that our story is not then carried over

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Speaker 3: and formatted in the next child of ours and vice versa.

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Speaker 1: It is so powerful. It's called scene.

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Speaker 3: If you find it and you watch it, Honestly, every

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Speaker 3: parent out there, it was wonderful. Do you know?

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Speaker 2: Also just on the being seen thing, you know, that's

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Speaker 2: something that we as we get older go through again

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Speaker 2: as well, the being seen wound. Like I've listened to

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Speaker 2: stuff on this and it's like, this is an example, right,

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Speaker 2: as you get older and you look in the mirror

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Speaker 2: and you're like, oh, got some wrinkles now, or you know,

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Speaker 2: don't quite look like I did when I was twenty.

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Speaker 2: There's a being seen wound there, right, because when you

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Speaker 2: were twenty and you were all dressed up and you

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Speaker 2: did your makeup and you're wearing a shore or whatever

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Speaker 2: it might be, right, and you walk into a bar

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Speaker 2: and you know you may or may not have got

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Speaker 2: some attention from the opposite sex, or walked past a

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Speaker 2: building site and got wolf whistled at at some point

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Speaker 2: people stop looking.

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Speaker 1: The wolf whistle stop and you're like, what about where

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Speaker 1: is it I'm not being seen?

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Speaker 3: Well, let me assure you, Katie. Now they'll hear you.

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Speaker 3: You're like, if you're not gonna see me, you're gonna

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Speaker 3: hear me coming.

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Speaker 1: Am I a bad mum for not inviting them?

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Speaker 3: So just to give you a quick summary, I think

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Speaker 3: I've mentioned it quite a few times because it's a

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Speaker 3: sore spot.

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Speaker 1: I'm turning forty.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've kind of been I wouldn't say peer pressure, right,

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Speaker 3: but in my mind at the start of this year,

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Speaker 3: I was like, I'm turning forty, I'm going to go

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Speaker 3: to Europe for six weeks and that's how I'm going

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Speaker 3: to celebrate myself by myself.

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Speaker 1: No, that's not that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And then everyone was like no, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: we're celebrating, We're doing this, And so I eve fast

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Speaker 3: forward a few months into the year. Here we are

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Speaker 3: and said birthday party of the four zero is coming

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Speaker 3: up very soon. Now, how does this relate to children? Well,

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Speaker 3: I'm not inviting them to my own body, no, and

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Speaker 3: not inviting them to my own party.

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Speaker 1: And I'm getting so much pushback, Katie, it is unreal. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The thing as well is that it's not like it's

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Speaker 2: like a late night party. Well it will be, I mean,

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Speaker 2: but technically, like we know how it's going to we

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Speaker 2: know how it's going to go, Like it's going to

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Speaker 2: go like.

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Speaker 3: In our head, we're going, oh my god, we'll be

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Speaker 3: here by then and then we'll leave here by van

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Speaker 3: and we'll be in bed by van and it'll be naz.

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Speaker 1: No, it's not happening like that.

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Speaker 2: I say that right now, but it's starting very optimistically.

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Speaker 1: Like I like the way you've tried to do it.

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Speaker 2: You've tried to get yourself in bed by nine, but

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Speaker 2: everybody else has got other ideas. You're starting the party

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Speaker 2: at three pm, so technically your children could come.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I totally get it. I totally get it.

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Speaker 3: Well, the idea was like I was like, okay, three

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Speaker 3: and then I'll have it at home and I'll put

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Speaker 3: in a big bell ten and we'll do it all

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Speaker 3: out the back and then there's no restrictions. I can

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Speaker 3: drink what I want, I can have whatever music I want,

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Speaker 3: I can do what I want till my neighbors go nuts.

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Speaker 1: But then I thought, oh god, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: clean up. It is a lot of work.

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Speaker 2: Even if you had people like helping out, it's still

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Speaker 2: a lot of work.

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Speaker 1: Like you're turning your house upside down.

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Speaker 2: So the way you're doing it, so yeah, you go.

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Speaker 2: You can celebrate, you can have fun, and you can

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Speaker 2: leave it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So obviously you know we've been there and you

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Speaker 3: know experience what lefties musical can bring to one event.

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Speaker 3: So we're going back to it again two point zero.

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Speaker 3: But that doesn't allow kids. So naturally I'm okay with that.

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Speaker 1: Because I'm thinking, is that a rule they have?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like a music hall, So yeah, it doesn't easy out,

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Speaker 3: I know, but like getting like, okay, so what are

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Speaker 3: you wearing? How are you gonna have your hair? Are

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Speaker 3: you getting your makeup done?

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Speaker 1: Like?

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Speaker 3: And then I get the gilt trip the other day

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Speaker 3: of like, oh well, I'm really sad that we're actually

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Speaker 3: not going to be there to celebrate you and not

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Speaker 3: sing your Happy Birthday. And I was like, I'm not

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Speaker 3: even having a cake. I'm not having a cake, So

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Speaker 3: it's okay, we won't be singing Happy birthday.

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Speaker 1: Yes they will.

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Speaker 3: And then I just keep getting like these little pods

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Speaker 3: of like it would be nice if we could oh.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the guilt guilt trip.

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Speaker 3: And then because my party is happening to be just

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Speaker 3: before their actual birthdays, because we all celebrate our birthdays

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Speaker 3: in the month of April, it's now getting to the

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Speaker 3: point they're like, well, who cares, it's just your birthday party.

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Speaker 1: Our birthdays are after that, Like.

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Speaker 3: Katie, I cand of hold on for much longer and

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Speaker 3: it's not even here. Oh my gosh, I'm dreading it out.

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Speaker 2: Like every birthday is always about the kids, right, Like

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Speaker 2: every birthday it's about what they're doing, it's about their

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Speaker 2: birthday parties, who they're inviting all the rest of it.

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Speaker 1: We put ourselves aside.

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Speaker 2: This is a big birthday, like this is forty, it's

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Speaker 2: a big four.

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Speaker 1: This is big four.

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Speaker 3: Roh.

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Speaker 1: Life begins at forty, right?

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Speaker 3: If I that again from another single person, I was like, mate,

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Speaker 3: that's what someone said to me at thirty.

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Speaker 1: Someone said that twenty.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I don't believe you. And then next

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Speaker 3: what're you gonna say to me? Is life styles at fifty?

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Speaker 1: No, it fucking doesn't. It goes downhill.

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Speaker 3: Everything's going to be drooped and gone, and I've missed

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 1: Really goes downhill.

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Speaker 3: You have children, They say, have kids, Yes, everything droops,

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Speaker 3: everything goes. You need it, You work your ass off

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Speaker 3: literally to try and lift it back up, and then

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Speaker 3: just drops back down.

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Speaker 2: Like it was really funny, Like just on that, like

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Speaker 2: when you take your bra off, Like, yeah, every female

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Speaker 2: loves taking their bra off when they get home, right,

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Speaker 2: maybe not straight away, but it's like guys feeling you

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Speaker 2: get your bra off, Like it's like, oh, pajamas on,

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Speaker 2: bra off. It's like if you ever wear high waisted

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Speaker 2: pants or anything like that, it's that realization of my

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Speaker 2: pants touching my.

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Speaker 1: How am I boothed? Touching my pants. Oh, what's that

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Speaker 1: they're touching, that's weird. Them in.

221
00:10:41,121 --> 00:10:42,961
Speaker 3: You for your bears up a little bit higher and

222
00:10:42,961 --> 00:10:47,401
Speaker 3: then chuck them in and they're all one to onesie.

223
00:10:50,001 --> 00:10:53,641
Speaker 1: Have kids literally sucks the life out of you. Your booths,

224
00:10:53,681 --> 00:10:58,721
Speaker 1: become a onesie with your hips. It's disgusting.