Speaker 1: Yes, it's a Christy Swan show.
Speaker 2: Hello Jack, afternoon, my Swan. How are you good?
Speaker 1: Have you recovered from the excitement of the super Bowl?
Speaker 2: I have Swanny the excitement of the super Bowl and
Speaker 2: Drake like, let's be honest. I had a pretty big
Speaker 2: night Sunday night. I was not one hundred percent yesterday,
Speaker 2: but I'm back today.
Speaker 1: You can never tell with you. It's the youth.
Speaker 2: It's the youth.
Speaker 3: I want to give a big shout out to oranges.
Speaker 3: Yes you heard, orange, a very underrated fruit. And there
Speaker 3: was a few oranges lying around and I thought I'm
Speaker 3: gonna eat them. I never buy oranges. This was at
Speaker 3: work just now, and I cut them up into I
Speaker 3: like to cut them into six, not four, okay, because
Speaker 3: they fit into your mouth better. And I just I
Speaker 3: just feel like such a fool. I haven't incorporated an
Speaker 3: orange to day. He found They're magical and not expensive.
Speaker 3: To get them in a big string bag. Bang, get
Speaker 3: onto them now.
Speaker 2: I want to freshly squeezed oj.
Speaker 1: Oh good, No, just get the orange.
Speaker 2: No, but it's more fun eating out of a plastic
Speaker 2: cup with a straw drinking it. I mean, excuse me.
Speaker 3: Have we discussed the fresh orange juice machines at some
Speaker 3: fancy said, well, at some of the smaller boutiquey causes,
Speaker 3: I think they're only in coals.
Speaker 2: I'm always too scared to use them because I don't
Speaker 2: know what to do.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. No, you just hit go and it
Speaker 1: does the rest.
Speaker 3: It picks it up, slices it, puts it in and
Speaker 3: you watch it juice the orange and then discard the
Speaker 3: rind and you get the orange juice at the base.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to make Tom come with me after
Speaker 2: the show to our local and we're gonna do that. Hey,
Speaker 2: you just hit the button before three o'clock this morning.
Speaker 2: We're going to be giving away another laptop in laptop Lottery.
Speaker 2: We're doing that all week and next we'll be going
Speaker 2: through out to do lists. I hope you've got yours ready.
Speaker 3: Swan, Oh, utterly underwhelming the Crissy Swan Show, and it's
Speaker 3: time to open up our calendars.
Speaker 1: Jack to do this Tuesday. I mean there, This gives.
Speaker 3: An insight into who we are and where we're at
Speaker 3: in our respective lives.
Speaker 1: More than anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's reading a palm and my lifeline has ended
Speaker 3: and yours just continued.
Speaker 2: Look your list is always a little bit grim, but
Speaker 2: that's okay.
Speaker 3: Today's no exception, and weirdly it involves you both of them.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, I love this. I'm in now my favorite topic.
Speaker 3: You are an authority on it. Okay, so I've got
Speaker 3: to click and collect?
Speaker 2: Oh no, this again?
Speaker 1: I ordered? You know I love a container.
Speaker 3: Yes, and I found this great container that i'd forgotten
Speaker 3: that I had. It's years old, found it out in
Speaker 3: the garage and I'm like, that is great.
Speaker 1: It's big.
Speaker 3: It's got a lip and a lid, so whatever's in
Speaker 3: there you can hide it.
Speaker 1: It's huge. Sixty leaders.
Speaker 2: I reckon that is big.
Speaker 1: Turned it over. I care still available, So you want
Speaker 1: another one? Found another one? You're a sweet kid. I've
Speaker 1: boarded ten.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, they are this big? Right? Do you
Speaker 2: need that many containers? What do you have to put
Speaker 2: in them? You've declarded your house, everything's gone in a skip.
Speaker 2: What are we putting in these containers?
Speaker 1: That is exactly what I need to talk to you about.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: In my to do list is go to Ikea and
Speaker 3: pick up the click and Collect. Then I realized, if
Speaker 3: I have ten huge containers, I may.
Speaker 1: Be tempted to fill them. You will with anything.
Speaker 3: So now I don't want the click and collect. Do
Speaker 3: I have to go in and void it, pick it
Speaker 3: up and return it, or if I just leave it there,
Speaker 3: do I miraculously get a refund?
Speaker 2: I reckon we go option too, and just hope for
Speaker 2: the best and hope for the refund.
Speaker 3: Can I'm going to set a reminder for to do
Speaker 3: list Tuesday in a month.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do it, and let's see if you've got your refund,
Speaker 2: if there's been any community.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay great.
Speaker 3: Secondly, another thing is I am speaking at a conference today?
Speaker 1: Can you believe it?
Speaker 4: Me?
Speaker 1: I never ever speak in public.
Speaker 3: In fact, I can't remember the last or first time
Speaker 3: I've done it.
Speaker 1: I'm very nervous.
Speaker 2: You'll smile it.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 3: People think that because I'm on the radio and they're like, oh,
Speaker 3: you do it every day, and I don't because what
Speaker 3: I can see is just one person, you know, or
Speaker 3: two or three people, not a big room of people
Speaker 3: that want me to be clever and engaging, both of
Speaker 3: which I'm not. Anyway, I impulse brought a suit at
Speaker 3: the airport.
Speaker 2: Oh good, to give you a boost of confidence, Yes, yes, great.
Speaker 3: But it was out the back was it on the
Speaker 3: rack when I bought it, and it's a bit the
Speaker 3: pants are a bit crushed, and I don't know what
Speaker 3: to do. I'm staying at a hotel. I can't steam things.
Speaker 3: Do they What do I do? What would you do
Speaker 3: if you were me? On my to do list is
Speaker 3: ask Jack what to do about crushed pants?
Speaker 2: I would ask your hotel whether there is a steamer
Speaker 2: or an ironing board available and do that.
Speaker 1: But I can't iron anything. I'm scared of burning it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I think they'll have a steamer or room
Speaker 2: in the room, or worst case, hang them up in
Speaker 2: the bathroom while you're having a shower and hope that
Speaker 2: some of the hot steam helps, like put flatten them.
Speaker 3: So is that what you would do? There's no like,
Speaker 3: you can't call somewhat well, I don't know what.
Speaker 2: To do, So I think you're going to have to
Speaker 2: just go with the crushed pants or hope that the
Speaker 2: hotel can sort it out. Okay, make problem.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you for that. That's excellent. What's on
Speaker 1: your to do.
Speaker 2: Really quick is Valentine's Day booking on Friday. Because I'm
Speaker 2: eternally single, I'm going on a Valentine's date with my
Speaker 2: mates lew and Locke. I'm gonna be third wheeling them.
Speaker 1: I love that so much. I'm going out with my daughter.
Speaker 2: Peg Oh beautiful.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: Fun. And then the other one is message cleaner because
Speaker 2: my housemate and I think our cleaner has stolen our
Speaker 2: vacuum chart. That's the only like assumption we've come to
Speaker 2: of how it's gone missing. And we tried these two
Speaker 2: new cleaners at the end of last year and since
Speaker 2: then it's gone, it's disappeared. It has to be them,
Speaker 2: So I'm not to accuse them.
Speaker 1: It's not. It's not the one that I recommended. Is
Speaker 1: it didn't clean?
Speaker 2: Oh no, we've tried new clean since that awful.
Speaker 1: And also as if she used the vacuum the Crissy
Speaker 1: Swan Show. Now there is an expectation and indeed misconception.
Speaker 3: It turns out that a because I'm on the radio
Speaker 3: and because I'm single, that I must be, you know,
Speaker 3: knocking back the dates.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, And it.
Speaker 3: Always it always astounds me when people goes, so who
Speaker 3: are you seeing? Like it's not even like are you
Speaker 3: seeing someone, it's who.
Speaker 2: They just assume that you are like a revolt have
Speaker 2: a revolving door of fellas having here with you every
Speaker 2: second night.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, you know the truth, and what is it, Jack,
Speaker 3: I want to hear it. I want to I want
Speaker 3: someone else to say it so it doesn't sound you
Speaker 3: know just from me.
Speaker 2: That you quite literally define the word single in every
Speaker 2: sense of it.
Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, And you know, I don't know if it's
Speaker 3: by choice or not.
Speaker 1: It's just the way it is.
Speaker 3: And no one, No one slides into my DMS, because
Speaker 3: that's the other thing people think, you know, in person,
Speaker 3: people are approaching me, and people think that definitely in
Speaker 3: the DMS, you know that I'm every second day a
Speaker 3: really back date.
Speaker 2: Does surprise me that people don't slide in, because even
Speaker 2: my mates, like I've got a couple of mates that
Speaker 2: are real big crissy Swan fans and like think you're hot,
Speaker 2: like these young, hot, thirty year old dudes. I'm excited
Speaker 2: guys give it a go. But they maybe they're through chicken.
Speaker 2: Maybe people through chicken to d.
Speaker 1: W I to know.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm grateful for it because the DMS I
Speaker 3: do get are like.
Speaker 1: Have you seen the chicken flavored cheese? And I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm on it send me a screen.
Speaker 2: Shot or Willy Southern Cross has Coco belt chocolate in front.
Speaker 3: Of exactly, and they are the sort of d ms
Speaker 3: that I like. However, someone did, someone, a man, a
Speaker 3: gentleman caller has slid into my dms.
Speaker 2: Oh I love this? Was there like any like emojis
Speaker 2: used in said dm? H? Was it like really basic?
Speaker 1: Let me let me check for you. Hang on, I'll
Speaker 1: get it up.
Speaker 2: Because there's nothing like going into your dem requests and
Speaker 2: seeing like some emojis or like, I just feel like
Speaker 2: it spices up the initial slide in.
Speaker 3: Can let me say there was? There were two emojis used,
Speaker 3: the smiling one with the blush you know, like a
Speaker 3: kidn embarrassed, nervous and like a you know party you know, okay,
Speaker 3: so you just don't you don't know what that means?
Speaker 2: No, been from egg planets and kissy kiss oh yack.
Speaker 1: The fire you know?
Speaker 3: So, yes, someone has slid into the old dms on
Speaker 3: instag and more.
Speaker 1: More of the point, they've asked for a date. Huge, huge.
Speaker 3: Both of those sentences are true, right, they have asked
Speaker 3: for a date, but it's not with me.
Speaker 1: My friend's with my friend Jane Hall.
Speaker 3: The first INSTADM that I've ever got of a man
Speaker 3: sliding in and asking for a date is like, Hi,
Speaker 3: can you ask your.
Speaker 1: Friend to go out with me?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: It's so sad.
Speaker 2: Happy Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: Absolutely The Chrissy Swan Show Chris One Show. Last week
Speaker 1: one woman won one hundred million dollars on the lotto.
Speaker 1: I reckon a laptop is even better you reckon m
Speaker 1: HM shelving for student devices.
Speaker 2: See the experts it unbeatable deals on laptops, tablets.
Speaker 1: Headphones and more.
Speaker 2: Best brands, best range, best prices, guaranteed.
Speaker 3: Chrissy Swan's Laptop Lottery, We've got Shelley and Jessica on
Speaker 3: the line. Are going to try their luck for a
Speaker 3: brand new laptop.
Speaker 1: Big ups to Harvey Norman.
Speaker 3: Hey girls, Hello, who needs it? More so Shelley, why
Speaker 3: do you want this laptop?
Speaker 5: I need a new laptop because my daughter broke her
Speaker 5: laptop at school.
Speaker 6: And now she has stolen mine, and I award you just.
Speaker 3: Did you just weep into your hands at the kitchen
Speaker 3: scene when she came home and she said us some
Speaker 3: bad news about my laptop was smashed.
Speaker 1: It pain the Hopscotch.
Speaker 2: Jessica, jess, why do you need a new laptop?
Speaker 6: I'm a teacher, and these schools that we go to
Speaker 6: don't really supply a modern laptop to you every time
Speaker 6: I go. I'm not a techtavvy person anyway, but I
Speaker 6: have big issues using the old laptop in.
Speaker 2: Good news for you, Jess, I will be playing for
Speaker 2: you today, and Swanny, you will be playing for Shelley.
Speaker 1: Shelley, go look at payment plans.
Speaker 2: Now, let's welcome Tom into the studio, Swanny, because Tom
Speaker 2: is the one that asks the questions.
Speaker 3: Here the quiz master, If you will, good afternoon, Hello Tom.
Speaker 2: All right, let's get into it.
Speaker 7: Question one in which year was Veggie Might first sold
Speaker 7: in Australia?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I've got no internet?
Speaker 2: October twenty five, nineteen twenty three. Correct, Oh my god, yes,
Speaker 2: jess one point to us.
Speaker 3: Do I have your permission Tom to move over to
Speaker 3: my phone because I have no Internet on my laptop?
Speaker 2: You can you do?
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry?
Speaker 2: Alright?
Speaker 7: Question number two?
Speaker 1: Are you ready?
Speaker 2: We'll let her open up?
Speaker 1: Ready?
Speaker 7: On the Harvey Norman website, there's a student device's image.
Speaker 2: On the homepage.
Speaker 7: What color is the student's bag?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Harvey Norman website.
Speaker 1: What color is that? It'll be navy. I'm going to
Speaker 1: guess it's blue.
Speaker 2: That is incorrect.
Speaker 1: I'm still loading.
Speaker 2: What's going on with the correct means? Congratulations?
Speaker 6: Yes, thank you so much, guys.
Speaker 8: This is amazing.
Speaker 2: You are going to be the coolest teacher out with
Speaker 2: the coolest laptop. Thanks for our pals at Harvey Norman.
Speaker 6: Oh this is fabulous. Thank you guys so much.
Speaker 2: I'm on that page now and there's not even in
Speaker 2: school already lost my friend. Sorry for your chance. Do
Speaker 2: we head to the overplayer or nover FM and register
Speaker 2: your details now?
Speaker 1: Sorry?
Speaker 5: Shelly, I mean that was pretty bad.
Speaker 2: Shame shamed.
Speaker 5: I'm pretty disappointed.
Speaker 1: I mean, really, we should have had a rematch.
Speaker 3: Can we get I know that this is Can we
Speaker 3: get Shelley back tomorrow?
Speaker 1: But I didn't have the internet and the mobile view
Speaker 1: is wrong.
Speaker 2: It's different to yours, Shelley. You're coming back to play tomorrow? Okay?
Speaker 6: Is Christy still playing for me?
Speaker 1: That is a great question and the outside is no
Speaker 1: Chrissy swanshow let's go clicking Jack Chrissy's clickit.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that Pete Davidson from Saturday Night Live
Speaker 3: and that great film. I always forget it's called It's
Speaker 3: like King of It's not King of Queens, but it's
Speaker 3: something like that.
Speaker 1: He have you seen it?
Speaker 3: Do you like Pete Davidsonson, You would love this film?
Speaker 1: Let me find the name.
Speaker 2: Of Kingham Staten Island.
Speaker 1: The King of Ireland? It is.
Speaker 3: It has so much heart, okay, and it's sort of
Speaker 3: the story of him and his dad, I think, or
Speaker 3: something like that. Anyway, I've seen it twice and it's magic. Anyway,
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that he seems to be back in
Speaker 3: the headlines because I love Pete Davidson. And he sat
Speaker 3: down and caught up with Seth Myers. Seth Myers, and
Speaker 3: he was talking about pets, and he doesn't have He
Speaker 3: sold his New York apartment and he's moved into New
Speaker 3: York State, so presumably he's got more room.
Speaker 1: Anyway, he's asked, does he have any pets? You know
Speaker 1: that he's in a bigger place.
Speaker 3: And he does ish if you count fish as pets.
Speaker 1: But he got this tank in an unusual way.
Speaker 2: I went to rehab, yeah for four months. Yeah, came back.
Speaker 2: That was just in the living room. Oh wow, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think I made that decision when I wasn't really
Speaker 2: paying attention, and then when I got there.
Speaker 1: When I got home, there was like a guy, you know,
Speaker 1: cleaning it.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, it's just like once every
Speaker 2: six months, you gotta come by. And he goes, oh no,
Speaker 2: this is like two three times a week for the
Speaker 2: rest of your life.
Speaker 1: Can you imagine how much that would cost?
Speaker 2: Also, it's like one of these lifes, like these massive
Speaker 2: life size ones.
Speaker 3: It's huge. It's like, you know, an aquarium. It's like
Speaker 3: it's a public aquarium. Yeah, yeah, it's big.
Speaker 2: It's spooky. I remember as a kid, Dad was considering
Speaker 2: doing that in our house, getting one of those, really,
Speaker 2: and I thought it was the coolest thing. Now thank
Speaker 2: god he didn't. It's so borganic, is it?
Speaker 1: Though? I think it can be done classily?
Speaker 2: Can anymore? I feel like maybe in the early three thousands,
Speaker 2: but now it's like, let's just leave it to like
Speaker 2: Chinese restaurants.
Speaker 4: To do that.
Speaker 1: Yes, and where you choose your crap.
Speaker 2: I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I could never do that. I could never.
Speaker 3: Stand at a tank and go you It's like the
Speaker 3: squid game.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: You.
Speaker 3: You die out of everyone here, it's your time to die.
Speaker 3: Not only are you going to die, I'm going to
Speaker 3: eat you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I did exactly that on the Greek Islands last year.
Speaker 2: What did you choose a piece of? Was it like
Speaker 2: lobster or crayfish?
Speaker 1: Your dad in Parils the whole lobster? You just sweat.
Speaker 1: It's your time to die.
Speaker 2: Papa's hungry you.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: Elon Musk, he is an unusual person, to say the least.
Speaker 1: He bought Twitter. Who did you buy it off?
Speaker 2: I'm not sure was it was it a big company?
Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of who we bought it off? But he
Speaker 3: bought it and renamed it x. I think out of
Speaker 3: all the social media platforms, Twitter's the most grim.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree with you, Swanny, but I think TikTok
Speaker 2: gives it a run for its money in the comments
Speaker 2: section sometimes, does it?
Speaker 7: Yeah?
Speaker 2: With how nasty it gets?
Speaker 1: Yeah ah, I didn't know that.
Speaker 2: But the Twitter replies are pretty awful too.
Speaker 1: Oh they're terrible anyway.
Speaker 3: On the on a Reddit thread, this girl wants to
Speaker 3: know am I the poop for breaking up with my
Speaker 3: fiance after he got obsessed with Elon Musk? Bob sessed
Speaker 3: he does a great impersonation of Elon Musk, who my mum,
Speaker 3: Patty Swan Dushy.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't read about it, but it is spot.
Speaker 2: On by way of voice or like the physicality and mannerisms.
Speaker 1: Both Jack both. She really puts it back into it.
Speaker 3: And the weirdest thing is she's not an impersonator, Like
Speaker 3: she's not.
Speaker 1: That's not one of her gifts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, she has one impression and it is a
Speaker 3: Musk and it's very good.
Speaker 2: I want to see a video of this from Patty please.
Speaker 2: But I think for this person, No, you're not the
Speaker 2: ahole for breaking up with your fiance after you got
Speaker 2: obsessed with Elon Mask.
Speaker 3: Like if you had a boyfriend, who would they have
Speaker 3: to be obsessed with for you to break up with them?
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't feel that much hate or like that's
Speaker 2: strongly about anyone, Like well.
Speaker 1: What if they loved to say Donald Trump?
Speaker 2: That's just fine.
Speaker 1: I don't care.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't bother me. I could give you some
Speaker 2: personal names, but I'll do that off there.
Speaker 1: Actually that's more me too.
Speaker 3: If you like that person, you and I will just
Speaker 3: not get along to me.
Speaker 1: Oh hey, we're still here with.
Speaker 3: You for another hour for Rickley, Tim and Joel Now Jack, I,
Speaker 3: I mean it is a massive mea coolper because I
Speaker 3: had no idea how big the super Bowl was in
Speaker 3: this country, and I was surprised at how many people
Speaker 3: took yesterday off and really hit the big Red Cup.
Speaker 2: When we finished the show yesterday, I had made at
Speaker 2: the pub still from the super Bowl which started at
Speaker 2: like they'd been there from Tenna and yesterday. Try and
Speaker 2: get me to go and meet them, and I'm like, no, guys,
Speaker 2: you're like eight hours ahead and I've got to be
Speaker 2: on an tomorrow.
Speaker 1: No, very good boy.
Speaker 3: It feels like I'm sorry if you're nursing a hangover
Speaker 3: today and you're excited about it, feels like any excuse
Speaker 3: to have a parties. Oh super Bowl cool, I'm into it. Yeah,
Speaker 3: married at first slight debut, Yeah, I'm into it.
Speaker 1: You know, let's have a party.
Speaker 2: Let's take Monday off. Hey, coming up before four o'clock,
Speaker 2: we need to talk about a particular product, Swanny that's
Speaker 2: being discontinued that you're quite upset about.
Speaker 1: I almost don't want to talk about it because then
Speaker 1: that makes it.
Speaker 2: Real, Okay, but I even want to talk about it.
Speaker 2: More now, but I will We'll do that before four o'clock.
Speaker 2: But next Chrissy's quizy thirteen twenty four to ten. If
Speaker 2: you would like a limited edition bum bag.
Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show. Do you
Speaker 1: want to get your hands on one of those bumbags?
Speaker 1: Chrissy's Quizzy? Oh hey, Danielle, do you go for walks? Danielle?
Speaker 1: You're a walker?
Speaker 4: I am a bit of a walker.
Speaker 1: Where do you like to go? What's your little vibe there?
Speaker 8: I love to walk along Woody Point.
Speaker 9: I'm down on the water along there.
Speaker 4: Gosh, who wouldn't Oh, it's gorgeous, three sixty degrees view
Speaker 4: the ocean.
Speaker 3: You're gonna love this bumb bag, Danielle, but you're gonna
Speaker 3: have to earn it. Jody wants it two Hello jods, Hey.
Speaker 1: How are you good? Are you a walker?
Speaker 2: Ah?
Speaker 4: More of a runner?
Speaker 1: Runner? My god? We are not worthy, Jody? Where do
Speaker 1: you run?
Speaker 8: Just around the block?
Speaker 1: You know nothing?
Speaker 2: Fancy you're birth Jody. You should be running on the beach,
Speaker 2: on those beautiful Perth beaches.
Speaker 8: Hey, well, I love about ten minutes away from the beach.
Speaker 8: You know I'm making use of body got.
Speaker 1: Oh, well you can.
Speaker 3: You can stack that bumbag full of sunblock and whatever
Speaker 3: else you need.
Speaker 1: It is your names are your buzzers?
Speaker 3: Is the best of five three five, five, So the
Speaker 3: first person gets to three.
Speaker 1: Witten's over bombar. Question number one, can you tell I'm stalling?
Speaker 1: I don't have it?
Speaker 4: One?
Speaker 1: Which American city held the Super Bowl yesterday?
Speaker 2: Danielle yes, Danielle, New Orleans.
Speaker 1: It is New Orleans. Question number two? What color is Elmo?
Speaker 4: Jody?
Speaker 1: Yes, Jody, he is read. Do you know any of
Speaker 1: the Elmo songs?
Speaker 9: Not really Christmas?
Speaker 7: This is.
Speaker 2: God. You're really good at that voice.
Speaker 1: Thanks.
Speaker 3: Question I was thread One year ago today Beyonce released
Speaker 3: this song.
Speaker 1: What's it called? Jody? This is for the win? No, alum,
Speaker 1: It's not for the Win's.
Speaker 2: Not two points to jokes, one to Danielle. Question number
Speaker 2: four is for the win, Jodes.
Speaker 3: And of course it is Texas Houldhen, winner of the
Speaker 3: Best Something at the Grammy's Awards.
Speaker 2: She won Best Album. That song didn't win Best thank God.
Speaker 1: That's on the ALM. Question number four, what is traditionally
Speaker 1: kept in a cellar? Danielle yes, Danielle.
Speaker 2: Wine.
Speaker 1: It is wine. Is that to a piece?
Speaker 4: Jack?
Speaker 2: Sure is, Swanny. Question number five is for the wind
Speaker 2: for either of you, ladies.
Speaker 3: The cuticle is located where Danielle donis.
Speaker 1: Danielle, it is on your finger. You have got the
Speaker 1: bum bag, Muffrayn.
Speaker 2: Thanks Creepie again tomorrow, Danny, better like next time, Jody,
Speaker 2: and happy running.
Speaker 1: The Crissy Swan Show.
Speaker 3: I'm about to do something momentous, Jack, Okay, I am
Speaker 3: about to eat my last stock piled Carmen's porridge sashet.
Speaker 1: And you may be.
Speaker 3: Listening and going, hang on a minute, had going to
Speaker 3: be the last one. They're all over there and every
Speaker 3: supermarket in every city in the land.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well not this one.
Speaker 3: A few years ago, I fell in love with a
Speaker 3: specific flavor of Carmen's porridge. Come in a little sachet,
Speaker 3: fill it up to the line with milk, ninety seconds
Speaker 3: in the microwave. It was called almond, coconut and chea,
Speaker 3: and my mouth ate it and I was in heaven.
Speaker 2: That surprises me that you sort of stray us from
Speaker 2: everyday normal porridge, because I just feel like that's so perfect.
Speaker 3: Correct, I agree, And normally I would never I would
Speaker 3: never have a sashet. But this sashet was the stuff
Speaker 3: of God's and I use it. I use the past tense.
Speaker 3: There was because I went to buy another box of
Speaker 3: it years ago, and that was when I realized that
Speaker 3: it was hurts me to say discontinued.
Speaker 2: Oh no, and.
Speaker 3: I could not find it anywhere. And I have been
Speaker 3: rationing those sachets that I had. I think I had
Speaker 3: two or three boxes when I realized that they were discontinued.
Speaker 3: And I'm down to my last one, Jack, I'm going
Speaker 3: to hand you the sashet now. I want you to
Speaker 3: turn it over and tell me the use by day.
Speaker 2: Swan best before the twenty fifth of August twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2: If that's not Christy Swan coated, I don't know what
Speaker 2: he is.
Speaker 1: A desperate woman has to do desperate things.
Speaker 2: Jack, So you've been eating, have you? Have you noticed
Speaker 2: that they're passed there?
Speaker 3: Absolutely not, Absolutely not as delicious as the very first
Speaker 3: time I fell in love with it.
Speaker 2: Why do you think they were discontinued?
Speaker 3: Listen, I don't know. I've been doing a lot of
Speaker 3: soul searching about this. Why, why something so perfect could
Speaker 3: be discontinued? And this happens to me all the time.
Speaker 3: Anything I fall in love with gets discontinued. Maybe it
Speaker 3: happens to you too, thirteen twenty four to ten.
Speaker 1: Give us a call.
Speaker 3: Has something that you I have absolutely fall in love
Speaker 3: with and think that you can't live without, suddenly and
Speaker 3: brutally is no longer available, gets discontinued. Give us a
Speaker 3: call on the line. Right now is the boss lady
Speaker 3: of Carmen's. She joins us, Carolyn Creswell.
Speaker 1: Welcome.
Speaker 9: Oh, I'm laughing so much.
Speaker 1: Pretty oh oh, bully for you. Hah.
Speaker 3: You're not the one who now has to live without
Speaker 3: her favorite porridge.
Speaker 1: Carolyn, what are you doing to me?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 9: The thing with products and food market, it's an evolution,
Speaker 9: so something out goes the old and incomes of fresh
Speaker 9: news flavors, things that people looking for. A Promise, if
Speaker 9: you tried some of the newer flavors, maybe you would
Speaker 9: also fall in love with them as much as the
Speaker 9: two year old.
Speaker 8: Rather sad fashions floating in your handbag.
Speaker 3: Carolyn, need to I need to tell you something about
Speaker 3: this porridge. It is the most perfect thing that I've
Speaker 3: ever eaten for breakfast, and I think that you should
Speaker 3: bring it back. And this is why, presuming that it
Speaker 3: was launched. I don't know when it was launched. Can
Speaker 3: you remember what year?
Speaker 8: I mean probably not about six seven years ago?
Speaker 3: Right See, people didn't know that they wanted chia. Then
Speaker 3: now they do bring it back.
Speaker 8: Well, we do these limited editions, but at the moment
Speaker 8: we've got a sticky date putting limited edition. Maybe I
Speaker 8: need to bring this one back a see Chrissy limited
Speaker 8: edition porridge Sachet to you know, reinvigorate the porridge sachet community.
Speaker 3: Carolyn, are there any lying around the warehouse that you
Speaker 3: could give to a lady desperation?
Speaker 8: Let me go and have a hunt for you, Carol.
Speaker 8: I haven't quite had a lady in this much desperation before.
Speaker 2: Between you and me and Carolyn, it sounds like, aside
Speaker 2: from Chrissy Swan, no one really vibed this flavor. Is
Speaker 2: that correct? Just say it. No one was buying it, right.
Speaker 8: It's been a little while and we've moved a few
Speaker 8: you different things, you know, people these days on protein
Speaker 8: or we're doing overnight bircher sash, different things. Shelves aren't
Speaker 8: made of elastic. Sadly, she's a company gal. There is revolution.
Speaker 2: I have not.
Speaker 1: I've not given up hope.
Speaker 3: Get you you know, intensive micro research people out there,
Speaker 3: because chea is full of protein.
Speaker 1: That's all I have to say to you, Carolyn Crystel,
Speaker 1: thank you much for joining me. Listen.
Speaker 3: I've tried to recreate it and I can't, damn you
Speaker 3: because the flavor.
Speaker 1: Is so good.
Speaker 2: It's monny. After speaking to Carolyn, I don't think you're
Speaker 2: ever going to have this in your hot little hands again.
Speaker 2: If I'm honest, I don't think Carolyn's all about evolving
Speaker 2: an evolution.
Speaker 1: I just I can never open that last sashet.
Speaker 2: No, we should probably frame that. Maybe we can put
Speaker 2: it in like a nice frame and put it on
Speaker 2: the wall in the office.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'll put a little sign of saying, in
Speaker 3: case of emergency.
Speaker 2: Smash thirteen four to ten, what product or item has
Speaker 2: been discontinued that you're still sad about? Like Swanny and
Speaker 2: her almond, coconut and chia porridge will take calls up.
Speaker 1: To this owners.
Speaker 3: Do you have a sconers the next Yep, the Crissy
Speaker 3: Swan show tee you what I'm not thrilled about my
Speaker 3: favorite porridge. It's made by Carmens comes in a box
Speaker 3: of like ten saschets. It's been discontinued. It's been a
Speaker 3: while since it's been discontinued. I've known this day was coming.
Speaker 3: I'm down to my last sashet.
Speaker 2: And I mean I'm sort of glad you're down to
Speaker 2: your last sashet. I hate to sort of is down.
Speaker 1: That's a that's a use by date thing, isn't it.
Speaker 2: It's a use by date thing. Swany. I don't want
Speaker 2: you eating things that are best before the twenty fifth
Speaker 2: of August twenty twenty two. You're better than that. You're
Speaker 2: Christy Swan. You deserve porridge that's in date.
Speaker 1: I'm so sad it's coming to an end.
Speaker 3: We did just cash up with Carolyn from Carmen's, who
Speaker 3: told me, in no uncertain terms, I was the only
Speaker 3: person who liked it, and I won't be coming back.
Speaker 1: She didn't really, that was just the vibe I got,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: VI She said used the word evolution a lot, which
Speaker 2: means it's not coming back.
Speaker 1: No, it's not.
Speaker 3: We're not going back to apes and this porridge is
Speaker 3: never going to be seen on our shelves again. Thirteen
Speaker 3: twenty four, ten what has been discontinued that you loved
Speaker 3: so deeply and you miss every single day.
Speaker 1: Hello Jamie, Hi guys, how are you good? What do
Speaker 1: you miss with every fiber of your being?
Speaker 4: Do you guys remember those M and M biscuit bars?
Speaker 1: No, it took me through them.
Speaker 8: It was you know, it was a good day in
Speaker 8: primary school when you opened your lunch box and I
Speaker 8: was one.
Speaker 5: Of those in there.
Speaker 9: It was a face with a chocolate on top, and
Speaker 9: then eminem and then more chocolate drisild on top.
Speaker 2: I do. And they had like the brown crust around
Speaker 2: the side. Yes, yes, Oh they were so young, Jamie,
Speaker 2: I'd forgotten about them so good.
Speaker 8: Yes, and now that I've got kids, I want them
Speaker 8: from my kids. How do you have tried the handed
Speaker 8: of versions?
Speaker 9: They're just not the same.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I've just remembered. I I promised that I
Speaker 3: was going to discuss a Sconer. Do you remember Sconer's
Speaker 3: or maybe you're too young? Jamie and Jack?
Speaker 2: What are they?
Speaker 3: It was an amazing ice cream, like just on a
Speaker 3: stick that you bought, you know, from the milk bar.
Speaker 3: It was called a Sconer and it was apricot and
Speaker 3: something else. It was perfection and I miss it every day,
Speaker 3: I really do.
Speaker 2: Thanks for your call, Jamie, Janie. We're going to send
Speaker 2: you a Baker's Delight voucher. Let's go to Linda on thirteen,
Speaker 2: twenty four ten. What product or item is being discontinued
Speaker 2: that you're still sad about.
Speaker 4: I'm still devo that I can't get a sunny boy?
Speaker 1: What was there? Was the sunny boy the orange one?
Speaker 3: Or was that just sort of like an umbrella term
Speaker 3: for all of those triangular icy poles?
Speaker 4: The orange was the the og, I think, and then
Speaker 4: they came out with the ras, the rug, yes, the glug,
Speaker 4: the collar glug, Oh my god.
Speaker 3: And do you remember I've asked many people this and
Speaker 3: people look at me like, are you crazy?
Speaker 1: This didn't happen.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you'd be at the pool or something on a
Speaker 3: very hot day with your friends, and you'd already gone
Speaker 3: up to that little shop they have there and got
Speaker 3: some hot chips or whatever and a sunny boy, and
Speaker 3: then you got back and you tore it open with
Speaker 3: his teeth because nobody ever brought scissors to the public pool.
Speaker 3: And then you pop it up and the first thing
Speaker 3: you do is you pull out the whole ice icy
Speaker 3: pole triangle, and you check if there's yellow riding inside,
Speaker 3: and the yellow riding meant it was called a free
Speaker 3: and admit that you could take it back to you know,
Speaker 3: Norma who ran the kiosk and get a free one?
Speaker 1: Do you remember freeze? Linda?
Speaker 4: Oh? Was there a better day in your life?
Speaker 3: The yellow riding. I don't even know what the yellow
Speaker 3: riding said. Did it say you've got a free or whatever?
Speaker 4: I can't remember either, and I never got one, much
Speaker 4: to my you know, dice, I got them regularly.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got them quite regularly. I just must be
Speaker 3: kissed on the sunny Boy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I can't believe I'm just reading here. We haven't
Speaker 2: had Sonny Boy since twenty sixteen, nine years.
Speaker 3: It's been a nine It's been a long nine years
Speaker 3: in the wilderness, Linda.
Speaker 1: I hear you.
Speaker 2: Baker's like voucher for you. Linda. Let's finish with Kelly Swanny.
Speaker 1: Kel what do you miss because it's been discontinued.
Speaker 5: Hi, Christy, I missed fan tail.
Speaker 1: Me to Kelly.
Speaker 3: Yes, I still don't understand why, out of all the lollies,
Speaker 3: why that one.
Speaker 5: I know I heard that they needed to do some
Speaker 5: work one of the machines, and it was going to
Speaker 5: cost so much money and it wasn't worth it for
Speaker 5: the sales and stuff. But then I looked it all
Speaker 5: up and I didn't realize it was like one or
Speaker 5: two years ago or something that they did it because
Speaker 5: they actually had a big thing you could buy fantails
Speaker 5: before they got before they all winked, and I don't
Speaker 5: even know else I would have low them.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I remember that you weren't listening to this show, because.
Speaker 1: We talked about it a lot.
Speaker 2: Kel.
Speaker 1: What I can.
Speaker 3: Offer is this, how long has it been since you've
Speaker 3: had a caramel Sunday from McDonald's.
Speaker 8: Maybe about eighteen months?
Speaker 1: Oh see, it's more recent.
Speaker 3: That's my absolute favorite flavor at macas and I just
Speaker 3: had a hankering for one, maybe four days ago, and
Speaker 3: it's been years.
Speaker 1: I realized. As I was at the driver, I thought,
Speaker 1: I've had one of these few years, and I took
Speaker 1: a big pulled over, but we really want to enjoy it.
Speaker 3: Took a big scoop of the caramel and ice cream,
Speaker 3: and guess what it tasted exactly like? It tasted like
Speaker 3: the fan tal Kelly Geese to the drive through today
Speaker 3: for you the.
Speaker 1: Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 3: Let's talk Gila Fisher, Chrissy's clichee Yeah, Isla Fisher, quite
Speaker 3: notoriously very private, has has opened up, as they say
Speaker 3: in the classics, about the split from Ali g and
Speaker 3: Borat creator Sasha Baron Cohen. She has said that she
Speaker 3: never expected her family to be separated, but it's working well, okay,
Speaker 3: which is good. That is good, Yeah, better than the alternative, Amra.
Speaker 2: He would have been a tough dude to be married too,
Speaker 2: because there was you know, there'd always be controversy around him.
Speaker 2: He's so polarizing with his characters and stuff, Like, I
Speaker 2: feel like she would have copped a lot throughout.
Speaker 1: It, and I feel like, because he's so I think
Speaker 1: living with it.
Speaker 3: I mean, this could be a gross generalization, but living
Speaker 3: with a deeply creative person who's also like a social
Speaker 3: commentator and a comedian and a writer. They're often quite
Speaker 3: complicated characters.
Speaker 2: Agreed, you know, and they're often quite This also is
Speaker 2: a generalization, but they can often be quite dark in
Speaker 2: those normal times.
Speaker 3: Moody moody, yeah, which you know, as consumed of their art.
Speaker 3: We love because great stuff comes moody, creative people. But
Speaker 3: I reckon to live with that. That wouldn't be That
Speaker 3: wouldn't be the easiest thing.
Speaker 2: Did you ever watch Eiler on Home and Away?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: I was always a Neighbours girl, so I never I
Speaker 3: don't know anything about Home and Away.
Speaker 1: I don't know the storylines.
Speaker 3: I know that it's at Summer Bay, obviously, but that's
Speaker 3: about it.
Speaker 2: I loved her character on Home and Away. I remember
Speaker 2: as a kid being introduced to her, like.
Speaker 1: Really, who, well, what was her character? Why'd you love it?
Speaker 2: Shannon? I think she was just really whimsical and fun,
Speaker 2: and I've always just attached her character to her in
Speaker 2: real life.
Speaker 1: Well, and she.
Speaker 3: Also played that sort of character in You Know and
Speaker 3: Get It, Get You in the wedding crash. That's right, yeah, true, Yeah,
Speaker 3: maybe she is quite whimsical in nature.
Speaker 1: How's this?
Speaker 3: A man presented to hospital with injuries that it were
Speaker 3: similar to those sustained in a car crash. The doctor
Speaker 3: said that he's lucky to be alive. So when you
Speaker 3: see someone present like that, you think, oh my god,
Speaker 3: what has happened? Have you smashed into something? How is
Speaker 3: the other driver? Blah blah blah, No, he tripped over
Speaker 3: his hairless pet cat.
Speaker 1: You know, one of those one of those sphinx cats.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I don't know why the breed of the cat is important.
Speaker 3: Maybe they're slipperier than other cats.
Speaker 2: I don't like the sphinx you can really picture.
Speaker 1: I don't think I could. I don't think I could
Speaker 1: love a cat like that.
Speaker 3: What do you mean that looks about It's not about
Speaker 3: how they look, It's about how they feel. And part
Speaker 3: of the joy of owning something furry, particularly a cat
Speaker 3: or like my bunnies who I'm obsessed with, is that
Speaker 3: you get to feel their fur and it's you know,
Speaker 3: it's good for me and it's good for them.
Speaker 2: Where this would just be like patting a scroton.
Speaker 1: Yes, and not.
Speaker 3: Have you ever touched one of these cats?
Speaker 2: No, I haven't. I've touched the other.
Speaker 1: Though, Yeah, I'm sure you have.
Speaker 3: They've still got a little bit of hair. I know
Speaker 3: it feels like well, not all of them do, but
Speaker 3: the one that I did had just a little bit
Speaker 3: of hair and it felt like, you know, a scrotum,
Speaker 3: as you said, but that had been shaved nine weeks ago,
Speaker 3: so it was sort of coming back. All depending on
Speaker 3: you know how fast it grows. Maybe four days ago.
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's not a pleasant sensation anyway. Chris Rowley
Speaker 3: from Colts Thorpe and Luster Shack said, he's only a baby,
Speaker 3: and I can't remember much.
Speaker 1: I just remember falling fast.
Speaker 3: It was quick and it was awful within seconds, and
Speaker 3: then I was at the Box of the Stars.
Speaker 2: Wow, I'd be getting rid of that cat.
Speaker 3: Well, yes you would, because in another sick twist, he
Speaker 3: was lying in a pool of blood. He was discovered
Speaker 3: the next morning and his partner walked in to find
Speaker 3: the cat sitting on his chest.
Speaker 1: Oh, like, look at it.
Speaker 2: That is us done for this Tuesday. I'll see you
Speaker 2: back in the studio tomorrow.
Speaker 3: Swannee Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast.
Speaker 1: For more great comedy shows like this, head to Nova
Speaker 1: podcast dot com. Dore you