WEBVTT - Best-selling author Mark Manson’s top no-B.S. life advice

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<v Speaker 1>Oh hello, get a thank you for joining us on

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<v Speaker 1>the body Insul podcast called Healthy Ish. I hope you

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<v Speaker 1>are having a healthy day. Of course, I am the

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<v Speaker 1>host of Felicity Hally I'm joined today. Let's call him

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<v Speaker 1>the godfather of modern self help, Mark Manson. Here's, of course,

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<v Speaker 1>best selling author of the book The Subtle Art of

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<v Speaker 1>Not Giving a F Bomb. Yes, warning, there are a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of swear words in this EPP, especially if you

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<v Speaker 1>are listening in the car with kids, as I often

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<v Speaker 1>do to my podcast Anyway Today, Mark shares his top

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<v Speaker 1>nobs life advice for choosing the right problem in your

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<v Speaker 1>life to focus on, and also he shares how to

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<v Speaker 1>tackle your fears head on now makesure listening to our

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<v Speaker 1>sister podcast Extra healthy Ish, where he shares more about

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<v Speaker 1>his no fucks approach to life. You can grab that

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<v Speaker 1>wherever you get your podcasts. Mark, thank you for joining

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<v Speaker 1>us on Healthy Today. How are you.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm great. It's good to be here.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's great for you to be here and we're

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<v Speaker 1>looking forward to seeing you in Australia soon. And on

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<v Speaker 1>that note, you're bringing your nobullshit life advice to well

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<v Speaker 1>around Australia. Can you share some of the perhaps your

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<v Speaker 1>all time favorite pieces of no bullshit advice or things

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<v Speaker 1>you might talk about in your talk.

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<v Speaker 2>My greatest hits greatest hits place. So I guess kind

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<v Speaker 2>of the number one thing that I go to is

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<v Speaker 2>a good life is not a life without problems. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a life with good problems. There's no such thing as

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<v Speaker 2>getting rid of problems. Improving your life is just simply

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<v Speaker 2>upgrading from problems you don't want to have the problems

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<v Speaker 2>you do enjoy having. We've got all sorts of good stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean. I wrote an article eleven years ago now

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<v Speaker 2>that was titled fuck Yes or No, which is basically

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<v Speaker 2>the simple concept of if something's not a fuck yes

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<v Speaker 2>in your life, then you should probably experiment with cutting

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<v Speaker 2>it out of your life. That has completely taken on

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<v Speaker 2>a life of its own, and it's almost like it's

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<v Speaker 2>not even mine anymore. It just like lives free in

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<v Speaker 2>the internet. Yeah, exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Can we just stop me there for a minute. Can

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<v Speaker 1>I just pick up on the first one, the problem thing?

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<v Speaker 1>How do you go about processing and dealing with your problems?

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<v Speaker 2>It's I mean, obviously every problem is different, but I

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<v Speaker 2>think kind of an important meta question that needs to

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<v Speaker 2>be asked, is is this a problem I'm happy to

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<v Speaker 2>be having? Because I think ultimately the difference between struggling

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<v Speaker 2>and suffering is simply how much the problem aligns with

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<v Speaker 2>who we want to be in the world, or what

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<v Speaker 2>we value or what we care about. Right Like, if

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<v Speaker 2>you are struggling with something in it is not who

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<v Speaker 2>you want to be, it's not moving you closer to

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<v Speaker 2>your ideal self, or it doesn't feel in line with

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<v Speaker 2>your values, then it just feels like pure suffering. But

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<v Speaker 2>if you are going through a problem, but that problem

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<v Speaker 2>is something that matters to you deeply, If you're struggling

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<v Speaker 2>to raise a couple of kids, if you are trying

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<v Speaker 2>to improve your health, if you are stressing about an

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<v Speaker 2>important project at work, like, those are all problems that

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<v Speaker 2>ultimately you're kind of glad to be having them because

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<v Speaker 2>it means that there's something important in your life. And

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<v Speaker 2>so I think part of it is just zooming out

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit and recognizing that some struggling is indicative

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<v Speaker 2>of a good life, whereas some struggling is actually indicative

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<v Speaker 2>of a life that's not where you want it.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes it's hard when you're in the middle of a

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<v Speaker 1>problem to discern Okay, is this a problem that I

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<v Speaker 1>really care about or one that I shouldn't care about?

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<v Speaker 1>How do you make sense of that in your own

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<v Speaker 1>mind without perhaps going into the feedback loop of.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, the way I'm trying.

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<v Speaker 1>To spit out.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, you know. I think in this day and age,

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<v Speaker 2>it's harder than ever to distinguish what is actually worth

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<v Speaker 2>caring about and what's not worth caring about. You know.

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<v Speaker 2>I think the whole thing that resonated about the title

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<v Speaker 2>of the book and not giving a fuck. I think

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<v Speaker 2>people in general these days feel overwhelmed or just deluged

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<v Speaker 2>with information and stimulation, and so it becomes very, very

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<v Speaker 2>complicated to distinguish what actually matters. I always say the

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<v Speaker 2>best way to see is to cut things out of

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<v Speaker 2>your life for a temporary period of time and then

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<v Speaker 2>see how you feel. You know, Try a week without

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<v Speaker 2>a certain app on your phone, Try a month without alcohol,

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<v Speaker 2>Cut a certain friend out of your life for a

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<v Speaker 2>couple of weeks, and see what it feels like. Right

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<v Speaker 2>like you, you actually don't know what is adding value

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<v Speaker 2>to your life and what's detracting value to your life

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<v Speaker 2>until you remove it. And if you remove something and

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<v Speaker 2>you find that you really miss you feel like things

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<v Speaker 2>are getting worse because you don't have it. Then that's great,

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<v Speaker 2>you can go back to it. But generally, what people

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<v Speaker 2>find a lot of the time is that when you

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<v Speaker 2>cut something out, it's painful for like a day or two,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you get like three, four or five days

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<v Speaker 2>in you're like, ah, actually I feel kind of relieved that.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have to deal with feel a bit lighter.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. One piece of advice actually spot on your Instagram,

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<v Speaker 1>which I really like, is your fear can change your life.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it's almost a cliche, isn't it, this one?

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<v Speaker 1>But it's got millions of views on your Instagram. How

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<v Speaker 1>do we get better at leaning into our fees? I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>that's the evolutionary response of a human right in our amygdala.

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<v Speaker 2>For sure. I mean, obviously a fear is not fun,

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<v Speaker 2>Like nobody likes fear. But I think one thing that

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<v Speaker 2>we forget is that generally if we're afraid or intimidated

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<v Speaker 2>by something, it's often because it's very important. Like if

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<v Speaker 2>it didn't matter, you wouldn't be anxious about it, you

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<v Speaker 2>wouldn't be intimidated by it. Right, So the fact that

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<v Speaker 2>you're intimidated by it. The fact that you're anxious about it,

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<v Speaker 2>the fact that you lay awake at night worrying about it,

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<v Speaker 2>is probably indicates that it's actually really important and it

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<v Speaker 2>really matters. So I think a lot of people they're

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<v Speaker 2>just their default is I don't want to be anxious,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be afraid. Again, it comes back

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<v Speaker 2>to it's not about getting rid of fear. It's about

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<v Speaker 2>feeling fear for good reasons, right, Like if you're about

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<v Speaker 2>to do something, if you're about to have a huge

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<v Speaker 2>presentation at work, or you're about to make a huge

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<v Speaker 2>career shift that you've been thinking about for years, you

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<v Speaker 2>should be afraid of that moment, right, It's a big deal,

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<v Speaker 2>and that fear is actually meant to mobilize you and

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<v Speaker 2>get you to focus and pay attention. Like I'm about

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<v Speaker 2>to go on tour in Australia. I guarantee you the

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<v Speaker 2>hour before I go on stage, I'm going to be

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<v Speaker 2>scared shitless. But that fear is important because it forces

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<v Speaker 2>me to get ready mentally, emotionally, to be prepared to rehearse,

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<v Speaker 2>to like make sure I put on a good show. Right,

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<v Speaker 2>So fear isn't necessarily always a negative thing. It's simply accompanies.

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<v Speaker 2>It's proportional to the importance of a thing.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you really get nervous? That's that's that's nice to

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<v Speaker 1>hear and reassuring that you do get nervous when you

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<v Speaker 1>millions of books, done, millions of speeches, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's especially with the bigger the audience size, it

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<v Speaker 2>never goes away, you know, like smaller, smaller audiences these days.

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<v Speaker 2>Doesn't really phase me. But you know, as we talked

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<v Speaker 2>before we went live, you know, doing the Opera House,

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<v Speaker 2>that's a big venue.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like two thousand people, not any pressure.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, I'm my palms are sweating just talking

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<v Speaker 2>about it right now.

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<v Speaker 1>So oh well, we're looking forward to saying you here.

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<v Speaker 1>But actually, one thing I just wanted to ask you

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<v Speaker 1>about before you went I saw your five year health

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<v Speaker 1>and fitness a whole on your Instagram now obviously as

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<v Speaker 1>a health and fitness podcast. This is very inspiring.

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<v Speaker 2>Well done, Thank you, Thank you. It was really fucking hard,

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<v Speaker 2>but you feel better for it, right, Oh. I mean

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<v Speaker 2>it's honestly, I feel I feel kind of dumb because

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<v Speaker 2>it's one of those things that once you do it

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<v Speaker 2>you're like, why didn't I do this ten years ago?

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<v Speaker 2>And I sometimes have to be gentle with myself. It's

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<v Speaker 2>easy to kick myself for going so many years and

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<v Speaker 2>not taking it more seriously sooner, but I'm glad I

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<v Speaker 2>did when I did. Well.

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<v Speaker 1>Congratulations and we look forward to seeing you down here

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<v Speaker 1>very soon. Thanks for joining us on healthy Ish.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 1>Friends. Listeners, you can catch Mark he is about to

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<v Speaker 1>come to Australia. He's tour kicks off in Sydney on

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<v Speaker 1>November fourth. He travels around to all the major cities

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<v Speaker 1>and make sure you're there. I'm going along. I hope

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<v Speaker 1>you did enjoy this chat with Mark, got some nobs

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<v Speaker 1>wisdom from it? If he did, tell us rate and

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<v Speaker 1>review of this episode. You can also DM me at

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<v Speaker 1>Felicity Harley if you have any ideas for an upcoming episode,

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<v Speaker 1>anything else, head to body and sooul dot com dot

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<v Speaker 1>you follow us on socials, grab our print edition, which

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<v Speaker 1>is our new local Sunday paper, and until tomorrow, stay

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<v Speaker 1>fucking healthy Ish.