Speaker 1: Oh hello, get a thank you for joining us on
Speaker 1: the body Insul podcast called Healthy Ish. I hope you
Speaker 1: are having a healthy day. Of course, I am the
Speaker 1: host of Felicity Hally I'm joined today. Let's call him
Speaker 1: the godfather of modern self help, Mark Manson. Here's, of course,
Speaker 1: best selling author of the book The Subtle Art of
Speaker 1: Not Giving a F Bomb. Yes, warning, there are a
Speaker 1: lot of swear words in this EPP, especially if you
Speaker 1: are listening in the car with kids, as I often
Speaker 1: do to my podcast Anyway Today, Mark shares his top
Speaker 1: nobs life advice for choosing the right problem in your
Speaker 1: life to focus on, and also he shares how to
Speaker 1: tackle your fears head on now makesure listening to our
Speaker 1: sister podcast Extra healthy Ish, where he shares more about
Speaker 1: his no fucks approach to life. You can grab that
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts. Mark, thank you for joining
Speaker 1: us on Healthy Today. How are you.
Speaker 2: I'm great. It's good to be here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's great for you to be here and we're
Speaker 1: looking forward to seeing you in Australia soon. And on
Speaker 1: that note, you're bringing your nobullshit life advice to well
Speaker 1: around Australia. Can you share some of the perhaps your
Speaker 1: all time favorite pieces of no bullshit advice or things
Speaker 1: you might talk about in your talk.
Speaker 2: My greatest hits greatest hits place. So I guess kind
Speaker 2: of the number one thing that I go to is
Speaker 2: a good life is not a life without problems. It's
Speaker 2: a life with good problems. There's no such thing as
Speaker 2: getting rid of problems. Improving your life is just simply
Speaker 2: upgrading from problems you don't want to have the problems
Speaker 2: you do enjoy having. We've got all sorts of good stuff.
Speaker 2: I mean. I wrote an article eleven years ago now
Speaker 2: that was titled fuck Yes or No, which is basically
Speaker 2: the simple concept of if something's not a fuck yes
Speaker 2: in your life, then you should probably experiment with cutting
Speaker 2: it out of your life. That has completely taken on
Speaker 2: a life of its own, and it's almost like it's
Speaker 2: not even mine anymore. It just like lives free in
Speaker 2: the internet. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: Can we just stop me there for a minute. Can
Speaker 1: I just pick up on the first one, the problem thing?
Speaker 1: How do you go about processing and dealing with your problems?
Speaker 2: It's I mean, obviously every problem is different, but I
Speaker 2: think kind of an important meta question that needs to
Speaker 2: be asked, is is this a problem I'm happy to
Speaker 2: be having? Because I think ultimately the difference between struggling
Speaker 2: and suffering is simply how much the problem aligns with
Speaker 2: who we want to be in the world, or what
Speaker 2: we value or what we care about. Right Like, if
Speaker 2: you are struggling with something in it is not who
Speaker 2: you want to be, it's not moving you closer to
Speaker 2: your ideal self, or it doesn't feel in line with
Speaker 2: your values, then it just feels like pure suffering. But
Speaker 2: if you are going through a problem, but that problem
Speaker 2: is something that matters to you deeply, If you're struggling
Speaker 2: to raise a couple of kids, if you are trying
Speaker 2: to improve your health, if you are stressing about an
Speaker 2: important project at work, like, those are all problems that
Speaker 2: ultimately you're kind of glad to be having them because
Speaker 2: it means that there's something important in your life. And
Speaker 2: so I think part of it is just zooming out
Speaker 2: a little bit and recognizing that some struggling is indicative
Speaker 2: of a good life, whereas some struggling is actually indicative
Speaker 2: of a life that's not where you want it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's hard when you're in the middle of a
Speaker 1: problem to discern Okay, is this a problem that I
Speaker 1: really care about or one that I shouldn't care about?
Speaker 1: How do you make sense of that in your own
Speaker 1: mind without perhaps going into the feedback loop of.
Speaker 2: You know, the way I'm trying.
Speaker 1: To spit out.
Speaker 2: Yes, you know. I think in this day and age,
Speaker 2: it's harder than ever to distinguish what is actually worth
Speaker 2: caring about and what's not worth caring about. You know.
Speaker 2: I think the whole thing that resonated about the title
Speaker 2: of the book and not giving a fuck. I think
Speaker 2: people in general these days feel overwhelmed or just deluged
Speaker 2: with information and stimulation, and so it becomes very, very
Speaker 2: complicated to distinguish what actually matters. I always say the
Speaker 2: best way to see is to cut things out of
Speaker 2: your life for a temporary period of time and then
Speaker 2: see how you feel. You know, Try a week without
Speaker 2: a certain app on your phone, Try a month without alcohol,
Speaker 2: Cut a certain friend out of your life for a
Speaker 2: couple of weeks, and see what it feels like. Right
Speaker 2: like you, you actually don't know what is adding value
Speaker 2: to your life and what's detracting value to your life
Speaker 2: until you remove it. And if you remove something and
Speaker 2: you find that you really miss you feel like things
Speaker 2: are getting worse because you don't have it. Then that's great,
Speaker 2: you can go back to it. But generally, what people
Speaker 2: find a lot of the time is that when you
Speaker 2: cut something out, it's painful for like a day or two,
Speaker 2: and then you get like three, four or five days
Speaker 2: in you're like, ah, actually I feel kind of relieved that.
Speaker 1: I don't have to deal with feel a bit lighter.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. One piece of advice actually spot on your Instagram,
Speaker 1: which I really like, is your fear can change your life.
Speaker 1: I mean it's almost a cliche, isn't it, this one?
Speaker 1: But it's got millions of views on your Instagram. How
Speaker 1: do we get better at leaning into our fees? I mean,
Speaker 1: that's the evolutionary response of a human right in our amygdala.
Speaker 2: For sure. I mean, obviously a fear is not fun,
Speaker 2: Like nobody likes fear. But I think one thing that
Speaker 2: we forget is that generally if we're afraid or intimidated
Speaker 2: by something, it's often because it's very important. Like if
Speaker 2: it didn't matter, you wouldn't be anxious about it, you
Speaker 2: wouldn't be intimidated by it. Right, So the fact that
Speaker 2: you're intimidated by it. The fact that you're anxious about it,
Speaker 2: the fact that you lay awake at night worrying about it,
Speaker 2: is probably indicates that it's actually really important and it
Speaker 2: really matters. So I think a lot of people they're
Speaker 2: just their default is I don't want to be anxious,
Speaker 2: I don't want to be afraid. Again, it comes back
Speaker 2: to it's not about getting rid of fear. It's about
Speaker 2: feeling fear for good reasons, right, Like if you're about
Speaker 2: to do something, if you're about to have a huge
Speaker 2: presentation at work, or you're about to make a huge
Speaker 2: career shift that you've been thinking about for years, you
Speaker 2: should be afraid of that moment, right, It's a big deal,
Speaker 2: and that fear is actually meant to mobilize you and
Speaker 2: get you to focus and pay attention. Like I'm about
Speaker 2: to go on tour in Australia. I guarantee you the
Speaker 2: hour before I go on stage, I'm going to be
Speaker 2: scared shitless. But that fear is important because it forces
Speaker 2: me to get ready mentally, emotionally, to be prepared to rehearse,
Speaker 2: to like make sure I put on a good show. Right,
Speaker 2: So fear isn't necessarily always a negative thing. It's simply accompanies.
Speaker 2: It's proportional to the importance of a thing.
Speaker 1: Do you really get nervous? That's that's that's nice to
Speaker 1: hear and reassuring that you do get nervous when you
Speaker 1: millions of books, done, millions of speeches, you know.
Speaker 2: It's it's especially with the bigger the audience size, it
Speaker 2: never goes away, you know, like smaller, smaller audiences these days.
Speaker 2: Doesn't really phase me. But you know, as we talked
Speaker 2: before we went live, you know, doing the Opera House,
Speaker 2: that's a big venue.
Speaker 1: It's like two thousand people, not any pressure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'm my palms are sweating just talking
Speaker 2: about it right now.
Speaker 1: So oh well, we're looking forward to saying you here.
Speaker 1: But actually, one thing I just wanted to ask you
Speaker 1: about before you went I saw your five year health
Speaker 1: and fitness a whole on your Instagram now obviously as
Speaker 1: a health and fitness podcast. This is very inspiring.
Speaker 2: Well done, Thank you, Thank you. It was really fucking hard,
Speaker 2: but you feel better for it, right, Oh. I mean
Speaker 2: it's honestly, I feel I feel kind of dumb because
Speaker 2: it's one of those things that once you do it
Speaker 2: you're like, why didn't I do this ten years ago?
Speaker 2: And I sometimes have to be gentle with myself. It's
Speaker 2: easy to kick myself for going so many years and
Speaker 2: not taking it more seriously sooner, but I'm glad I
Speaker 2: did when I did. Well.
Speaker 1: Congratulations and we look forward to seeing you down here
Speaker 1: very soon. Thanks for joining us on healthy Ish.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Friends. Listeners, you can catch Mark he is about to
Speaker 1: come to Australia. He's tour kicks off in Sydney on
Speaker 1: November fourth. He travels around to all the major cities
Speaker 1: and make sure you're there. I'm going along. I hope
Speaker 1: you did enjoy this chat with Mark, got some nobs
Speaker 1: wisdom from it? If he did, tell us rate and
Speaker 1: review of this episode. You can also DM me at
Speaker 1: Felicity Harley if you have any ideas for an upcoming episode,
Speaker 1: anything else, head to body and sooul dot com dot
Speaker 1: you follow us on socials, grab our print edition, which
Speaker 1: is our new local Sunday paper, and until tomorrow, stay
Speaker 1: fucking healthy Ish.