1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,080 Speaker 1: Oh hello, get a thank you for joining us on 2 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,440 Speaker 1: the body Insul podcast called Healthy Ish. I hope you 3 00:00:04,519 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: are having a healthy day. Of course, I am the 4 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 1: host of Felicity Hally I'm joined today. Let's call him 5 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: the godfather of modern self help, Mark Manson. Here's, of course, 6 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 1: best selling author of the book The Subtle Art of 7 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 1: Not Giving a F Bomb. Yes, warning, there are a 8 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:22,919 Speaker 1: lot of swear words in this EPP, especially if you 9 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: are listening in the car with kids, as I often 10 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: do to my podcast Anyway Today, Mark shares his top 11 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:33,000 Speaker 1: nobs life advice for choosing the right problem in your 12 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: life to focus on, and also he shares how to 13 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 1: tackle your fears head on now makesure listening to our 14 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 1: sister podcast Extra healthy Ish, where he shares more about 15 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 1: his no fucks approach to life. You can grab that 16 00:00:45,440 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts. Mark, thank you for joining 17 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,720 Speaker 1: us on Healthy Today. How are you. 18 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 2: I'm great. It's good to be here. 19 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's great for you to be here and we're 20 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,240 Speaker 1: looking forward to seeing you in Australia soon. And on 21 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:18,039 Speaker 1: that note, you're bringing your nobullshit life advice to well 22 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,400 Speaker 1: around Australia. Can you share some of the perhaps your 23 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 1: all time favorite pieces of no bullshit advice or things 24 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: you might talk about in your talk. 25 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 2: My greatest hits greatest hits place. So I guess kind 26 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 2: of the number one thing that I go to is 27 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,759 Speaker 2: a good life is not a life without problems. It's 28 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 2: a life with good problems. There's no such thing as 29 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 2: getting rid of problems. Improving your life is just simply 30 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 2: upgrading from problems you don't want to have the problems 31 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:52,440 Speaker 2: you do enjoy having. We've got all sorts of good stuff. 32 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 2: I mean. I wrote an article eleven years ago now 33 00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 2: that was titled fuck Yes or No, which is basically 34 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 2: the simple concept of if something's not a fuck yes 35 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 2: in your life, then you should probably experiment with cutting 36 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 2: it out of your life. That has completely taken on 37 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 2: a life of its own, and it's almost like it's 38 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,640 Speaker 2: not even mine anymore. It just like lives free in 39 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 2: the internet. Yeah, exactly. 40 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: Can we just stop me there for a minute. Can 41 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,679 Speaker 1: I just pick up on the first one, the problem thing? 42 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: How do you go about processing and dealing with your problems? 43 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 2: It's I mean, obviously every problem is different, but I 44 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 2: think kind of an important meta question that needs to 45 00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 2: be asked, is is this a problem I'm happy to 46 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 2: be having? Because I think ultimately the difference between struggling 47 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:46,760 Speaker 2: and suffering is simply how much the problem aligns with 48 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,640 Speaker 2: who we want to be in the world, or what 49 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 2: we value or what we care about. Right Like, if 50 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 2: you are struggling with something in it is not who 51 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,760 Speaker 2: you want to be, it's not moving you closer to 52 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 2: your ideal self, or it doesn't feel in line with 53 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 2: your values, then it just feels like pure suffering. But 54 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 2: if you are going through a problem, but that problem 55 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,960 Speaker 2: is something that matters to you deeply, If you're struggling 56 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:15,240 Speaker 2: to raise a couple of kids, if you are trying 57 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,360 Speaker 2: to improve your health, if you are stressing about an 58 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 2: important project at work, like, those are all problems that 59 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 2: ultimately you're kind of glad to be having them because 60 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 2: it means that there's something important in your life. And 61 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,799 Speaker 2: so I think part of it is just zooming out 62 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 2: a little bit and recognizing that some struggling is indicative 63 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 2: of a good life, whereas some struggling is actually indicative 64 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 2: of a life that's not where you want it. 65 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's hard when you're in the middle of a 66 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: problem to discern Okay, is this a problem that I 67 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: really care about or one that I shouldn't care about? 68 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,320 Speaker 1: How do you make sense of that in your own 69 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: mind without perhaps going into the feedback loop of. 70 00:03:58,160 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 2: You know, the way I'm trying. 71 00:03:58,960 --> 00:03:59,880 Speaker 1: To spit out. 72 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:07,120 Speaker 2: Yes, you know. I think in this day and age, 73 00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 2: it's harder than ever to distinguish what is actually worth 74 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 2: caring about and what's not worth caring about. You know. 75 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,520 Speaker 2: I think the whole thing that resonated about the title 76 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:20,360 Speaker 2: of the book and not giving a fuck. I think 77 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:24,159 Speaker 2: people in general these days feel overwhelmed or just deluged 78 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 2: with information and stimulation, and so it becomes very, very 79 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 2: complicated to distinguish what actually matters. I always say the 80 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,360 Speaker 2: best way to see is to cut things out of 81 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 2: your life for a temporary period of time and then 82 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,679 Speaker 2: see how you feel. You know, Try a week without 83 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 2: a certain app on your phone, Try a month without alcohol, 84 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,760 Speaker 2: Cut a certain friend out of your life for a 85 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 2: couple of weeks, and see what it feels like. Right 86 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:52,719 Speaker 2: like you, you actually don't know what is adding value 87 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: to your life and what's detracting value to your life 88 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 2: until you remove it. And if you remove something and 89 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 2: you find that you really miss you feel like things 90 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 2: are getting worse because you don't have it. Then that's great, 91 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 2: you can go back to it. But generally, what people 92 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 2: find a lot of the time is that when you 93 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 2: cut something out, it's painful for like a day or two, 94 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 2: and then you get like three, four or five days 95 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 2: in you're like, ah, actually I feel kind of relieved that. 96 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,479 Speaker 1: I don't have to deal with feel a bit lighter. 97 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 98 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: Yeah. One piece of advice actually spot on your Instagram, 99 00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,279 Speaker 1: which I really like, is your fear can change your life. 100 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 1: I mean it's almost a cliche, isn't it, this one? 101 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: But it's got millions of views on your Instagram. How 102 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: do we get better at leaning into our fees? I mean, 103 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: that's the evolutionary response of a human right in our amygdala. 104 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:45,159 Speaker 2: For sure. I mean, obviously a fear is not fun, 105 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 2: Like nobody likes fear. But I think one thing that 106 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 2: we forget is that generally if we're afraid or intimidated 107 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 2: by something, it's often because it's very important. Like if 108 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 2: it didn't matter, you wouldn't be anxious about it, you 109 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 2: wouldn't be intimidated by it. Right, So the fact that 110 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 2: you're intimidated by it. The fact that you're anxious about it, 111 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 2: the fact that you lay awake at night worrying about it, 112 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 2: is probably indicates that it's actually really important and it 113 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 2: really matters. So I think a lot of people they're 114 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 2: just their default is I don't want to be anxious, 115 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 2: I don't want to be afraid. Again, it comes back 116 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,159 Speaker 2: to it's not about getting rid of fear. It's about 117 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 2: feeling fear for good reasons, right, Like if you're about 118 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 2: to do something, if you're about to have a huge 119 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 2: presentation at work, or you're about to make a huge 120 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 2: career shift that you've been thinking about for years, you 121 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 2: should be afraid of that moment, right, It's a big deal, 122 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:45,160 Speaker 2: and that fear is actually meant to mobilize you and 123 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 2: get you to focus and pay attention. Like I'm about 124 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 2: to go on tour in Australia. I guarantee you the 125 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 2: hour before I go on stage, I'm going to be 126 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 2: scared shitless. But that fear is important because it forces 127 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:03,280 Speaker 2: me to get ready mentally, emotionally, to be prepared to rehearse, 128 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,039 Speaker 2: to like make sure I put on a good show. Right, 129 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 2: So fear isn't necessarily always a negative thing. It's simply accompanies. 130 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,200 Speaker 2: It's proportional to the importance of a thing. 131 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 1: Do you really get nervous? That's that's that's nice to 132 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 1: hear and reassuring that you do get nervous when you 133 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 1: millions of books, done, millions of speeches, you know. 134 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 2: It's it's especially with the bigger the audience size, it 135 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:33,800 Speaker 2: never goes away, you know, like smaller, smaller audiences these days. 136 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:36,559 Speaker 2: Doesn't really phase me. But you know, as we talked 137 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 2: before we went live, you know, doing the Opera House, 138 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 2: that's a big venue. 139 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: It's like two thousand people, not any pressure. 140 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'm my palms are sweating just talking 141 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 2: about it right now. 142 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: So oh well, we're looking forward to saying you here. 143 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:55,920 Speaker 1: But actually, one thing I just wanted to ask you 144 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: about before you went I saw your five year health 145 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: and fitness a whole on your Instagram now obviously as 146 00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: a health and fitness podcast. This is very inspiring. 147 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 2: Well done, Thank you, Thank you. It was really fucking hard, 148 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 2: but you feel better for it, right, Oh. I mean 149 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 2: it's honestly, I feel I feel kind of dumb because 150 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 2: it's one of those things that once you do it 151 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 2: you're like, why didn't I do this ten years ago? 152 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 2: And I sometimes have to be gentle with myself. It's 153 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,959 Speaker 2: easy to kick myself for going so many years and 154 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 2: not taking it more seriously sooner, but I'm glad I 155 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 2: did when I did. Well. 156 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: Congratulations and we look forward to seeing you down here 157 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,959 Speaker 1: very soon. Thanks for joining us on healthy Ish. 158 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 2: Thank you. 159 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 1: Friends. Listeners, you can catch Mark he is about to 160 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,680 Speaker 1: come to Australia. He's tour kicks off in Sydney on 161 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 1: November fourth. He travels around to all the major cities 162 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: and make sure you're there. I'm going along. I hope 163 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: you did enjoy this chat with Mark, got some nobs 164 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,360 Speaker 1: wisdom from it? If he did, tell us rate and 165 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 1: review of this episode. You can also DM me at 166 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,160 Speaker 1: Felicity Harley if you have any ideas for an upcoming episode, 167 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: anything else, head to body and sooul dot com dot 168 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: you follow us on socials, grab our print edition, which 169 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 1: is our new local Sunday paper, and until tomorrow, stay 170 00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:34,080 Speaker 1: fucking healthy Ish.