WEBVTT - Sit In Your Shit & Put Your Faith in the Youth 0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:02.760 Before we get started, I'd like to acknowledge the custodians 0:00:02.759 --> 0:00:04.880 of the land on which we record. For me, it's 0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:06.960 the gaddigl people of the urination. 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:09.200 And for me it's a roundering people of the cooler nation. 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.560 I know you're going to dig this. It's like I've 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:18.680 been given like an extra sprinkle of something. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:21.960 You've got layers, Yeah, I've got layers. I was just thinking, 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:27.920 I'm like, we're just such beautiful storytellers. 0:00:28.680 --> 0:00:31.240 You make in a lot of sense to that girl. 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:33.240 Now I'm done. 0:00:33.600 --> 0:00:35.040 Let's jump into it, honest to go. 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:40.880 If you're listening, welcome to twenty twenty five. First things first, 0:00:40.960 --> 0:00:42.960 we're back. It's blacker than ever. 0:00:43.520 --> 0:00:47.440 Guys were skipping the intro. Let's jump into it. Maddy, 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:48.760 twenty twenty. 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:51.360 Five for twenty five. Do you remember at the end 0:00:51.400 --> 0:00:53.479 of last year we said twenty twenty five is the 0:00:53.600 --> 0:00:54.560 year to thrive? 0:00:55.200 --> 0:00:56.760 Is that still the vibe? 0:00:56.920 --> 0:00:58.160 I feel like it's still the vibe. 0:00:58.240 --> 0:00:59.160 The vibes are high. 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:02.760 I feel I'm entering another decade of my life. I'm 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:04.520 thirty now, Holy. 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:06.399 Shit, three zero? What does it feel like? 0:01:06.600 --> 0:01:09.399 It feels bloody good. I'm being honest, like I don't 0:01:09.400 --> 0:01:11.560 feel thirty. Like if age is a number, I would 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.760 definitely wouldn't feel thirty. I'd feel in my early twenties. Honestly, 0:01:16.200 --> 0:01:19.440 just more mature, I would say, but. 0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:21.040 A little bit less, you would say. 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:24.600 Yeah, a little bit, a bit still unhinged, as we 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:24.959 all know. 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:26.160 I'm loving that. 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:28.479 But look, you've had such a great holiday. You've been 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:31.319 off around the world jet sitting here and there. You've 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:34.120 been to LA You've been to New York City. I 0:01:34.120 --> 0:01:35.360 mean you've been getting around. 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:36.120 How was it? 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:38.839 You know what? It was probably the best trip I've done, 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:40.520 and I did it solo. And I think that's the 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:43.600 best thing about entering this like new decade is I 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:46.759 do feel like I'm only just starting living, like living 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:49.880 my life. But I have like the maturity, and I 0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:53.680 also have like the financial I guess, not freedom, but 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:55.120 like you know, rich. 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:56.960 That a you're trying to say is I'm rich and 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:58.600 I can travel wherever I want in the world. 0:01:58.840 --> 0:02:00.960 No, I'm not saying that at all. Fuck, I wish 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:01.920 I had more money, but. 0:02:02.000 --> 0:02:07.480 Like I as the cost of living crisis, I've. 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:09.480 Got enough money to travel anywhere anytime I life. 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:11.840 Well, No, I think the thing is right, I just 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:15.080 have no attachment other than the responsibility of having a dog. 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:18.919 I don't have like anything keeping me anywhere. Others obviously 0:02:19.080 --> 0:02:22.720 the podcast work, yes, that keeps like the wheels turning. 0:02:22.800 --> 0:02:24.880 But I feel like I'm in a place where I 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:27.360 could honestly just like sell and pack up everything and 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:29.119 just go wherever the fuck I want. And I think 0:02:29.160 --> 0:02:32.840 that would be a great you know, like i'd make 0:02:32.919 --> 0:02:36.799 do it and I would survive. But oh my god, 0:02:36.800 --> 0:02:37.680 New York for New. 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:40.720 York City, Okay, so explain to us what it was 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:42.360 like being in New York City for the first time. 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:44.320 I haven't been, by the way, so sell it to me. 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:48.359 Okay, So to give context, though, my mom loved New York, 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:51.400 and I didn't really know this until I started putting 0:02:51.400 --> 0:02:53.960 pieces together of like little things that she used to say, 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:56.160 the music she used to listen to, and the things 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:59.280 that she used to reference. And it's crazy. My memory 0:02:59.400 --> 0:03:02.000 is so insane, saying like sometimes I remember the most 0:03:02.040 --> 0:03:05.720 craziest moments of my life, like and sometimes I wish 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:08.679 that I didn't the opposite. 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:10.760 I've blocked out so much it's like I don't even 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:12.600 have a memory bank of like. 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:15.520 Your childhood or more like your teenage years, all all 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:16.040 of it. 0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:16.360 It's gone. 0:03:16.919 --> 0:03:19.280 People were constantly remind me of things that have happened, 0:03:19.280 --> 0:03:20.639 and I'm like, did that actually happen? 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:21.960 When did that happen? 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:24.200 What I ate was I like, I think I need 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:27.200 to do I mean this and like respectfully, but I 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:28.920 think you need to do therapy, and I think you 0:03:29.000 --> 0:03:31.080 need to do like CBT, and I think you need 0:03:31.120 --> 0:03:32.040 to do visualization. 0:03:32.600 --> 0:03:33.480 What's CBT. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:37.280 That CBT is cognitive No, it's cognitive behavioral therapy. 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:41.160 Oh CBD, CBD, CBT. 0:03:41.280 --> 0:03:43.760 Oh you're making marriage And one I. 0:03:43.800 --> 0:03:45.400 Was like, should I get high in reminice? 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:50.920 No? Okay, well yeah I probably do. I mean, I'm 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:52.120 starting therapy again. 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:54.720 This week actually, so, which is good. 0:03:54.760 --> 0:03:56.400 I did a lot of therapy last year, remember, but 0:03:56.440 --> 0:04:00.240 we didn't do much CBD. 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:04.880 You just do CBD and go and get CBT. But 0:04:05.480 --> 0:04:07.760 and then you just CBF because you just like. 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:10.839 I got the munches CD. 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:12.000 No. 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:14.600 But yeah, that's a good point. I probably should. 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:16.599 There's a lot to unpack. But then I get scared 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:18.240 of opening Pandora's box. 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:22.599 It's not Pandora's box though, like you have to sometimes, 0:04:22.680 --> 0:04:27.480 like I don't know, Maddie. It's kind of opening another pathway, 0:04:27.560 --> 0:04:30.400 Like you might go down a route that maybe feel uncomfortable, 0:04:30.400 --> 0:04:34.120 but uncomfortableness is good for you. I think so. And 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:36.640 I'm not saying this as in like, yeah, shadow therapy, 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:41.520 but I personally think like you would benefit from doing 0:04:41.560 --> 0:04:44.200 some visualizations so where you can get some of those 0:04:44.240 --> 0:04:48.359 memories back, because sometimes you suppress, not you in particular, 0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:52.080 like people in general. Right, we can suppress things and 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:55.000 we can push it down so far that we don't 0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.880 know it exists, and we wonder why we might have 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:01.000 like a knee jerk reaction to some and we're like, oh, 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:03.640 I wonder what that was about, Like why did I 0:05:03.680 --> 0:05:07.200 act like that? Sometimes it can come down to suppress trauma. 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:11.920 And interestingly enough, when you say like a knee joke reaction, 0:05:12.320 --> 0:05:15.160 I have had those moments where a memory will come 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:17.680 into my mind and it will remind me of a 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:21.680 certain traumatic experience. But as you know, I'm the type 0:05:21.680 --> 0:05:24.320 of person that is like, okay, quickly move on, Like 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:26.599 I don't want to sit with that. And I think 0:05:26.640 --> 0:05:29.920 the work is about sitting with it, right and actually 0:05:29.960 --> 0:05:33.239 allowing it to come fully to you and being able 0:05:33.279 --> 0:05:36.440 to sort of process it and not just shut it down. 0:05:37.000 --> 0:05:40.200 Agreed. I mean, you know, without the bad days, you 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:41.960 can't have the good days. And I think like there's 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:44.560 a balance and sometimes you do really have to sit 0:05:45.080 --> 0:05:48.000 in your shit. I always say this. I've advocated it 0:05:48.040 --> 0:05:49.360 since we started this part. 0:05:49.480 --> 0:05:51.400 I've always tell people to sit in their shit. 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:56.880 Sit in your shit. That's the title of this episode. No, 0:05:57.120 --> 0:06:01.760 I just think, like, without feeling things and like nutting 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:04.679 it out, how do you know you were actually moving 0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:06.960 through it? Like I fully agree with you in some 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.600 moments where I'm like, nah, I do not want to 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:12.280 deal with that today, and that is so fine, and 0:06:12.320 --> 0:06:15.240 I'm like so for that. But at the same time, 0:06:15.480 --> 0:06:17.359 I know that that's just going to come back and 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:19.960 it's going to bite me even worse, Like it is 0:06:20.040 --> 0:06:22.640 going to come full circle and I'm not going to 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:24.880 enjoy the second time it comes around. And I think, 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:28.000 you know what, just cop it now and then deal 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:28.600 with it later. 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:31.200 Do you feel a release when you do it, like 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:33.159 as in when you sit with something, you sit in 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:36.360 your shit, and then do you feel like you've processed 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:38.479 it or is it like a long time. 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:40.200 Moments? 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:43.200 Look, I had these moments when I was in New York, 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:46.960 right and I was feeling like homesick or feeling a 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:49.040 bit like, oh, do I want to come home like 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:52.000 or early? And I was like, no, no, no, this 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:56.280 is just me feeling uncomfortable and instead of you know, 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:59.560 my knee jerk reaction sometimes with that is to just 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.520 you know, be irrational and like jump on a plane 0:07:02.560 --> 0:07:04.200 and come back home. And then I'll be like, I'll 0:07:04.200 --> 0:07:06.240 regret it, right because I didn't stay there and I 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:09.880 didn't give it the time. And I mean I had 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:13.120 this moment once I was walking a few blocks and 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:16.280 I just kept walking found this busker and I just 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.440 sat and I like stood there and I watched him 0:07:18.480 --> 0:07:21.320 just like with a bunch of people, and I just 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:25.680 started crying. And I felt so uncomfortable because I was 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:28.560 in public, and I thought, fuck, I'm gonna be like 0:07:28.680 --> 0:07:32.440 that embarrassing, weirdo person that's crying in the middle of 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:35.200 the street at this busker. But I just felt this 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:39.960 rush of like gratitude. It was so weird. I felt 0:07:40.080 --> 0:07:42.560 so grateful and so connected to this is just a 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:47.360 young kid. He's African American and he was playing country music, 0:07:47.400 --> 0:07:50.120 which is so crazy, like normally, you know rap. I've 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:52.560 just been hearing rap music this whole time, but he 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:55.000 was playing country music. He was also playing the guitar, 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:59.120 singing and then playing like the trombone. It was insane wow, 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:02.040 And I just this moment of gratitude where I was like, 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:05.720 I am alone in a city, like a foreign place. 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:11.720 I felt so uncomfortable before, but I was able to 0:08:11.800 --> 0:08:15.400 move past it, sit in it a little bit, get 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:17.960 my feelings out, and then move past it. And then 0:08:18.040 --> 0:08:20.880 all of a sudden, I felt a massive wave of gratitude. 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:23.920 And I think that's what happens when you sit in 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:26.160 it a little bit. It's a bit shitty, it's a 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.600 bit grubby. No one wants to sit in the trenches 0:08:28.760 --> 0:08:33.800 and like dig their way throughout. But then there's another perspective, 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:36.680 and I was like, oh my god, I got here. 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:40.440 I jumped on a plane, didn't really know anyone, flew 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:43.400 to New York, made my thirtieth dreams come true. And 0:08:43.400 --> 0:08:45.200 I'm standing here in a busker crying in the middle 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.120 of the street. It sounds a bit odd, but like 0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:49.640 I sat in my shit for a little bit. That 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:52.960 was one example of when sometimes you just need to 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:56.679 ride the wave of emotion, sit in it, feel it, 0:08:56.760 --> 0:08:59.520 and then you know, like come out of it. You're 0:08:59.559 --> 0:09:00.880 not going to be in it forever. 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:02.760 I love that like visualization. 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:06.040 I think also the like word gratitude is something that 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:10.160 I wrote on my mirror at home and I walk 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:13.559 past it every day, and I think that when you 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:16.880 get to a sense of gratitude, there is like this 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:20.599 beautiful feeling. I don't know, you're just able to understand 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.960 how far you've come from something, or like, I've been 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:26.760 going back over my career, so I've been creating like 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:28.560 a website, and you inspired me to do this. By 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:30.240 the way, do you remember when we sat down and you 0:09:30.280 --> 0:09:31.960 said to me that I saw this. 0:09:32.320 --> 0:09:33.840 You were creating a website. 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:37.959 I was like, still, it does take a long time. 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:42.840 Yeah, I've been, you know, doing it over the holiday 0:09:42.840 --> 0:09:45.240 break and just being able to go back over my 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:47.800 career and be like, oh, okay, there's things that I forgot. 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:49.120 There are things that. 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:52.240 Like I was able to tick off really at the 0:09:52.240 --> 0:09:55.000 start of my career too, that I feel so proud of. 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:58.280 And I just had this sense of gratitude like yeah, 0:09:58.280 --> 0:09:59.760 I really fucking did this, and I did this on 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.680 my Oh my god, I didn't. I didn't get much 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:04.920 help to get to this position. So I mean there 0:10:04.960 --> 0:10:07.120 are people along the way who obviously you lean on 0:10:07.160 --> 0:10:08.880 and help help, but. 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:11.679 You did that, like you're the one here now making 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:14.319 a website because you want to reflect on the things 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:17.200 that you did, Like, yeah, people help you. Like the 0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:20.160 thing is, people forget that you need other people in 0:10:20.200 --> 0:10:21.960 this world to get to total. 0:10:21.640 --> 0:10:24.880 And especially what I've realized is and I want to, 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:27.600 you know, to make this clear to our listeners if 0:10:27.600 --> 0:10:30.080 you're you know, in an environment or if you're at home, 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:32.800 because I can speak from my own point of view. 0:10:32.800 --> 0:10:35.520 When I was home in a regional town in a 0:10:35.640 --> 0:10:39.520 toxic environment, you know, I was growing up in a 0:10:39.640 --> 0:10:43.760 level of poverty that I really didn't understand and really 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.920 wanted out of. Look for the hands that are outside 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:49.240 of those environments because a lot of the time, the 0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:52.120 people who are in those environments are with you. They 0:10:52.160 --> 0:10:54.240 don't know the way out. So if you can grab 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:57.719 onto someone on the outside of that box who has 0:10:57.800 --> 0:11:01.600 different experience, a different level of worldview, grab onto them 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:04.319 and allow them to help you find your way out. 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:07.000 And I think that those things over the holiday period 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:10.760 for me have become really clear, like understanding how important 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:11.800 environment is. 0:11:12.000 --> 0:11:14.640 Or the people that you're exposed to. And I would 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:20.240 really love to talk about something that's really quite yeah, 0:11:20.280 --> 0:11:24.959 like personal, you know, on this subject. So over the 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:27.920 years that we've had this podcast, I've been so grateful 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.880 to have you, like, you know, talking about gratitude, Like 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:34.360 I don't think anyone could be any more perfect as 0:11:34.400 --> 0:11:35.600 a co host, Like do you know what I mean? 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:39.440 Like in my eyes, in terms of our experience and 0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:43.000 our lived experience and our where we're going and our aspirations, 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:45.760 like I feel like we're we're often, you know, sometimes 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:48.000 on the same path, same times, you know, we both 0:11:48.000 --> 0:11:50.280 go our separate things and then we kind of come back, 0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:52.560 and I think that's the best thing. But the people 0:11:52.600 --> 0:11:54.880 that I've been exposed to through you and through the 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:57.319 podcast has been amazing, and I'm so looking forward to 0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.920 twenty twenty five. But I wanted to talk about going 0:12:00.960 --> 0:12:03.240 back to New York and a little moment that I 0:12:03.280 --> 0:12:07.319 had so we a couple of months ago, I mean 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:11.560 months ago, I posted this video on Instagram where I 0:12:11.600 --> 0:12:14.920 had received an email from a fellow follower of ours 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:19.880 and her name's Hannah. Hannah had said that she'd come 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:23.720 across my ted talk and it pretty much saved her life. 0:12:23.840 --> 0:12:26.079 She was going through a really tough time and she 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:30.000 was planning on, you know, trigger warning, taking her life, 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:33.439 and she watched my video and it changed her whole 0:12:33.480 --> 0:12:38.680 perspective and she gives me gisbumps. But I broke down 0:12:38.760 --> 0:12:42.840 reading this email because I felt one I didn't. I 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.960 just felt so bad that she was feeling that low 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:49.280 in her life, Like I've been there multiple times and 0:12:49.320 --> 0:12:52.880 I know how it can be. And then I'm very 0:12:52.880 --> 0:12:55.560 grateful for the people that have changed my life, and 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:58.040 I wrote about them in Big Love, and I'm always 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:00.199 grateful for the people that I do have now that 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:05.800 kind of keep me at bay. But I had no 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.040 idea that I was going to meet her at all 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.240 in my life. Like she lives in the States and 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.920 she lives in Ohio, and I was in New York, 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.679 and she flew to New York to meet me and 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:19.360 have coffee with me, and I was like, I would 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:23.000 never miss out on opportunity to speak to someone who 0:13:23.040 --> 0:13:25.640 I've had an impact that directly with, Like I just 0:13:25.679 --> 0:13:28.640 felt not that I felt responsible in any way, I 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:31.319 just felt like for her to reach out and send 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:33.360 that message. I was like, I need to, like I 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:35.800 need to meet her, and I need to like beautiful, 0:13:35.880 --> 0:13:38.600 and she it was like the most beautiful. Like we 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:42.080 spoke for like three hours. We had coffee and like 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:45.680 a muffin together and and we just we just chatted 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:48.000 and it's so crazy, like we live on different parts 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:50.200 of the world, and she flew from Ohio to New 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:53.480 York City to like actually catch me whilst I was 0:13:53.520 --> 0:13:56.040 in the stage, which is like three hour flight by 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.360 the way. Wow, And I just thought, you know, that's 0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:01.160 really special that people put it in that effort and 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:04.360 feel that connected to us internationally as well, like not 0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:07.200 just in Australia. And I just thought, wow, if we're 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:10.080 having impact for like one person, like how many other 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:12.160 people were out there like listening to our podcast and 0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:15.400 feeling the same. So I wanted to share that. And 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:17.880 I'm always very grateful for Hannah because I think she. 0:14:18.120 --> 0:14:20.080 I didn't even know, you know, I didn't even know 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:21.440 that you ended up catching up. 0:14:21.560 --> 0:14:23.600 Well yeah, well I just. 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:25.480 Can I just ask how the bloody hell did you 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:26.280 miss telling me that? 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:31.640 Well, you know, it's not like it's not like I 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:33.800 didn't want to share it. I just think like for me, 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:35.840 like that was a really special moment and I kind 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:39.680 of just wanted to, like, I guess keep it for myself. 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:42.160 And I think for me and Hannah, like we just 0:14:42.720 --> 0:14:44.720 she brought me like a little bracelet and it's got 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:46.440 like a heart inside her heart and she has like 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.520 a matching one, and I just thought like that was 0:14:48.600 --> 0:14:52.280 just so sentimental and she luck she knew how sentimental 0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:55.040 I am because she's got to know me over the 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:59.640 podcast over years. I think generally people actually connect with us, Maddie, 0:14:59.640 --> 0:15:02.680 like truly connect with us and know our personality and 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:06.600 see themselves in us and vice versa. Do you know 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:07.040 what I mean? 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:09.840 Like, I think you're so much better at understanding that 0:15:09.880 --> 0:15:12.320 than I am. I think that there's been moments across 0:15:12.360 --> 0:15:13.880 the years where you will seeing me sort of go 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:16.120 into my shell a bit when there's people around who 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:18.920 sort of know us, and I think that like, I 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:20.880 don't know what it is, but sometimes I feel like 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:25.560 I don't deserve the recognition or somebody being so complimentary, 0:15:25.720 --> 0:15:28.680 or somebody telling me how much they enjoy the pod 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.120 or like us, so I sort of like try and 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.360 dodge the conversation and for me, I sort of have 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:38.080 this internal confliction that is like, oh, I don't know 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:39.160 if I can handle. 0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:45.720 That top poppy syndrome is so prevalent, and people don't yeah, 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:48.480 and people don't really care about your success. I had 0:15:48.840 --> 0:15:53.160 people who I met in the US that knew that 0:15:53.400 --> 0:15:56.240 you and I had won a podcast award and made 0:15:56.280 --> 0:15:59.760 it very known to the group of people that I 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:02.880 just that we had won an award. And this is 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:03.600 in the US. 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:06.400 There's a culture in Australia that doesn't like to give 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:08.880 people their flowers. And I think that in our industry, 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:11.840 even when you go and do the things that they 0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:14.840 said you couldn't, and even when you tick off all 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:18.680 these achievements, it's still hard for even the people who 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:21.880 are sometimes even on your team to back you, not 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:25.760 our team, not the pod. For instance, when we won 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:29.560 the Australian Champion Award for the podcast right, we should 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:35.080 have been able to amplify that achievement because we're, you know, 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.440 two first nations people pushing for positive representation in media. 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:42.640 That's our goal. If we win a big award like 0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:47.320 that and then don't get amplified because of certain gatekeepers 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:50.400 in the industry, I think that is a real issue 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:53.800 as to why there isn't much positive representation of our people. 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:54.480 I a woe. 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:57.720 I love your honesty around that, and I completely agree 0:16:57.760 --> 0:16:58.520 with you, and. 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.760 It comes from tradition, all views and gatekeepers. 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:05.320 But I think it's a systemic thing. Yeah, it's a 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:09.080 higher like it's the people above, you know, above all this. 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:12.120 But it doesn't take much for you know, if you're 0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:14.959 a Caucasian person in the media to be amplified and 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:18.639 to get every piece of publicity possible, it'll happen. And 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:20.520 the Caucasity pisces me off. 0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:21.280 Oh my god. 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:23.359 I could rant about that for days because I think, 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:26.800 like when I realized the Australian openers in Melbourne at 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:29.679 the moment, and I have really noticed that it's very like, 0:17:30.040 --> 0:17:32.760 it's very pretentious and it's very white. And I think, 0:17:32.880 --> 0:17:34.840 like a few people that I know in the industry 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.480 like a catch, shout out to my girl, a catch. 0:17:37.520 --> 0:17:40.880 She she's calling it out. She's making literal tiktoks, being 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:42.760 like I'm the only black person at this one. 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:46.480 Event totally, And I asked for so long, how fu 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:48.080 asked for so long? 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:52.840 But in the US everywhere that I turned on an app. 0:17:52.960 --> 0:17:55.399 I don't care if you're black, if you're Latina, And 0:17:55.680 --> 0:17:59.040 what they care about is if you're great, if you're talented, 0:17:59.600 --> 0:18:01.720 you will make you you'll make an impact. They don't 0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:03.880 give a fuck if you're black white. 0:18:04.040 --> 0:18:08.800 I took photos ads. Yeah, honestly, all the ads were 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:14.040 like beautiful, like black people, and I was like, oh 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:14.520 my god. 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:18.240 And I know my position, my position in the media 0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:20.560 and why I have my platforms, and it is to 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:23.760 push that barrier. It is to make sure that people 0:18:23.760 --> 0:18:28.639 are having conversations about positive representation, like and if I 0:18:28.720 --> 0:18:31.920 have to do it by having these rants or being 0:18:32.119 --> 0:18:35.879 really honest about the industry, I will. And let me 0:18:35.960 --> 0:18:38.679 be honest about this. As soon as I start telling 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:41.439 people how I truly feel about the media landscape, I 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:43.840 will be labeled as an angry black man. It's not 0:18:43.920 --> 0:18:47.480 about me, It's about our community. It's about ensuring that 0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.960 if I have a platform and a position in the media, 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.600 that I'm trying to really push the narrative that there 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:59.200 isn't enough diverse voices, especially in radio. Like the amount 0:18:59.280 --> 0:19:02.600 of shows that I saw getting announced across the networks, 0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:06.560 every single duo, every single trio I saw, well all 0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:11.080 white people I know, and unfortunately we had an opportunity. 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:14.680 You have an opportunity every year to bring a diverse 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:17.679 view or an opinion or a person from a different 0:19:17.680 --> 0:19:21.399 community into the folding commercial radio Australia, and it doesn't 0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:24.560