Speaker 1: Good team. I hope you will. I hope your day
Speaker 1: is going just swimmingly, if it's just starting, if you're
Speaker 1: way through, if you're just sliding towards home plate, I
Speaker 1: hope things are going well for you. I've got a
Speaker 1: question for you. What are your non negotiables for your life?
Speaker 1: What are your non negotiables the things that you will,
Speaker 1: absolutely no matter what, day in day out, commit to
Speaker 1: in terms of who you want to be and how
Speaker 1: you want to be, in terms of your values, in
Speaker 1: terms of your goals, in terms of your dreams, in
Speaker 1: terms of what you want to do on planet you,
Speaker 1: what you want to be, who you want to be,
Speaker 1: how you want to create, the things that you need
Speaker 1: to change and overcome in terms of all of that,
Speaker 1: what are your non negotiables? Now? I wouldn't normally say this,
Speaker 1: but I'm going to say this for this episode. I
Speaker 1: think that it's a good idea, if not now, maybe
Speaker 1: later for you to hit the pause button even and
Speaker 1: just brainstorm, like, what is it that I want to do? Be? Create?
Speaker 1: Who do I want to be? How do I what
Speaker 1: do I want my life to look like? In terms
Speaker 1: of what I want what needs to be non negotiable.
Speaker 1: Do you really want to get in shape? Do you
Speaker 1: really want to be fit? Lean, healthy? Is that what
Speaker 1: you want? Cool? Tell me you're non negotiables. Not yet,
Speaker 1: I'll give it a go and see how it works out. No,
Speaker 1: what are you not? What are the things that you
Speaker 1: will absolutely no matter what, irrespective of whether or not
Speaker 1: you're in the zone, out of the zone, excited, not excited, happy, sad,
Speaker 1: cold day, warm day, sunshine, rain. What are the things
Speaker 1: that you will truly commit to that will become a
Speaker 1: non negotiable part of your operating system, your daily operating system,
Speaker 1: the things that you typically do to live in alignment
Speaker 1: with the person you want to be in the middle
Speaker 1: of the life that you want to create. Because it's very,
Speaker 1: very easy to say, these are my non negotiables, Well,
Speaker 1: non negotiable for me, I'm going to exercise every day
Speaker 1: of thirty minutes. I'm only going to drink booze two
Speaker 1: days a week, or I'm going to drink no booze,
Speaker 1: or it's easy to talk about this stuff. And we've heard,
Speaker 1: you've heard the term non negotiables. And one of the
Speaker 1: dangers of listening to me every day is that we
Speaker 1: can hear this stuff and go yeah, harps, that's yeah,
Speaker 1: that makes sense or that resonates, or but we don't
Speaker 1: fucking do anything like we just get eight, ten, twelve
Speaker 1: minutes of theory with me, and then we go back
Speaker 1: to status quo. We just slip back into groundhog day.
Speaker 1: And I want you to enjoy what I talk about,
Speaker 1: and I want to inspire and motivate you, and I
Speaker 1: want to challenge you and provoke you, and I want
Speaker 1: you to slip into that metacognitive kind of experience of
Speaker 1: thinking about how you think and thinking also about how
Speaker 1: and why you behave the way you do. But also
Speaker 1: I would love for these moments that you have with
Speaker 1: me to actually lead to something practical, because it's in
Speaker 1: the practical that the process happens. It's in the practical
Speaker 1: that you become different. It's in the practical that you
Speaker 1: start to succeed and move into the place that you
Speaker 1: want to be. Experientially, when we identify our non negotiables,
Speaker 1: when we get really clear about that, it helps us
Speaker 1: navigate life. It helps us It gives us much more
Speaker 1: clarity and certainty around decision making, around action taking. And
Speaker 1: when I've identified and I am living my non negotiables,
Speaker 1: I don't need to rely on inspiration and motivation they
Speaker 1: prevail my non negotiables, my rules, my standards, they prevail
Speaker 1: when motivation doesn't. People say to me, I've had something
Speaker 1: like this many times. How do you go out and
Speaker 1: everyone's eating a certain way and drinking and drinking booze
Speaker 1: or whatever, and you don't now I might sound like
Speaker 1: a kill joy or a party pooper or a social dud.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I'm probably all of that in many people's eyes.
Speaker 1: And I get it, and I understand, and I definitely
Speaker 1: don't think anybody needs to be like me. The beauty
Speaker 1: of me being me is I get to choose how
Speaker 1: I am. The beauty of you being you is you
Speaker 1: get to choose your operating system and your non negotiables.
Speaker 1: But the truth is that how I can be in
Speaker 1: a situation where the majority, if not all, of the
Speaker 1: people are behaving a certain way and I'm not is
Speaker 1: because my operating system, my non negotiables, doesn't change depending
Speaker 1: on who I'm with or where I'm at. And so
Speaker 1: because for example, one of my non negotiables is I
Speaker 1: don't drink alcohol. And again, this is not a recommendation
Speaker 1: or a suggestion. But this is one of my non negotiables.
Speaker 1: This is one of my rules. This is one of
Speaker 1: my standards, and it's not something that I do when
Speaker 1: I'm being disciplined or I'm self regulating well, or I'm
Speaker 1: in the zone, or I'm particularly motivated or inspired. And
Speaker 1: look how fucking good I'm being. I'm with all of
Speaker 1: these drinkers that I'm not drinking. No, I just don't drink.
Speaker 1: And the reason I don't drink, and the reason that
Speaker 1: after years of eating crap and being self destructive with food,
Speaker 1: the reason that I'm in a different place now is
Speaker 1: because I identify the things that for me, based on
Speaker 1: how I want to be and who I want to be,
Speaker 1: need to be non negotiable. I know that personally, I
Speaker 1: know that how I work emotionally, mentally and socially around
Speaker 1: for example, food, I know that I need to be
Speaker 1: clear about what's okay for me and what's not. And
Speaker 1: because I have absolute clarity and certainty about what's okay
Speaker 1: for me, so booze not okay, drugs not okay, junk
Speaker 1: food not okay. And the reason is not because I
Speaker 1: want to be a teetope or I'm a party pooper.
Speaker 1: It's because this is the way that I think, Oh,
Speaker 1: I've only got one body, and I don't have awesome genetics,
Speaker 1: So what I better do with this one body that
Speaker 1: I have that I can't replace? What I better do
Speaker 1: is take fucking care of it. Now, if I said
Speaker 1: do you want to look after your body optimally, most
Speaker 1: of you would go, well, yeah, I'm going cool. So
Speaker 1: my next question is regarding you taking care of your
Speaker 1: body optimally, what are your non negotiables? And this is
Speaker 1: where we start to squirm in our seats and say
Speaker 1: things like oh yeah, harps, but you've got to have
Speaker 1: a life. And then I go, all right, Brian, I
Speaker 1: don't know why it's Brian, what does that mean? Are
Speaker 1: you saying that, for example, living the way that I
Speaker 1: live with certain rules and parameters around food and around
Speaker 1: the way that I socialize, by the way, I love socializing,
Speaker 1: love humans, love hanging out with people, love talking. I
Speaker 1: just don't need booze or excess food to have a
Speaker 1: good time. But that's sometimes what we rationalize bad behavior
Speaker 1: with irrational thinking. The truth is none of us need
Speaker 1: booze or junk food. That's the truth. That's the uncomfortable truth.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying don't drink booze and don't ever eat
Speaker 1: junk food. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying
Speaker 1: for you, not for your mom, not for your dad,
Speaker 1: not for your partner, not for your kids, not for
Speaker 1: your friends, not for your peers. For you, what for you,
Speaker 1: based on your health, based on how you want to
Speaker 1: feel and function and perform, what needs to be non negotiable?
Speaker 1: What about money? What needs to be non negotiable in
Speaker 1: terms of the way that you manage money and the
Speaker 1: way that you live around money, your relationship with money?
Speaker 1: What about your career? What needs to be non negotiable?
Speaker 1: What about the way that you raise your kids? What
Speaker 1: are your non negotiables? What are your rules? See, here's
Speaker 1: the thing. When we clearly identify fire our non negotiables,
Speaker 1: life becomes much easier in terms of decision making. Maybe
Speaker 1: easier is not the right word. Maybe clearer. Decisions and
Speaker 1: behaviors become much clearer, and initially maybe hard because we're
Speaker 1: giving up some stuff that might be hard to give up,
Speaker 1: or we're making some changes that might be hard, But
Speaker 1: eventually it becomes easier. What are your non negotiables. What
Speaker 1: are the things that you need to identify that aren't working, Like,
Speaker 1: what am I doing that's working? What am I doing
Speaker 1: that's not working? The stuff that's working great, the stuff
Speaker 1: that's not working. Maybe you need to create a few rules.
Speaker 1: We'll take quick break. We'll be back in a minute.
Speaker 1: It's how I roll. Okay, we're back. So my question dejure,
Speaker 1: my departing question for you is this, what is a
Speaker 1: sometimes behavior? So, in other words, what's a thing that
Speaker 1: you do sometimes because you know that you should, but
Speaker 1: then you eventually don't do it because whatever happens right
Speaker 1: doesn't matter why? But what's a sometimes in inverted Comma's
Speaker 1: behavior that needs to become an all the time behavior
Speaker 1: or in other words, a non negotiable on planet you?
Speaker 1: All right, now, go do some work. See tomorrow.