1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Good team. I hope you will. I hope your day 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: is going just swimmingly, if it's just starting, if you're 3 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:09,520 Speaker 1: way through, if you're just sliding towards home plate, I 4 00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 1: hope things are going well for you. I've got a 5 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:15,920 Speaker 1: question for you. What are your non negotiables for your life? 6 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,320 Speaker 1: What are your non negotiables the things that you will, 7 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:25,279 Speaker 1: absolutely no matter what, day in day out, commit to 8 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: in terms of who you want to be and how 9 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,480 Speaker 1: you want to be, in terms of your values, in 10 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:35,199 Speaker 1: terms of your goals, in terms of your dreams, in 11 00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: terms of what you want to do on planet you, 12 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 1: what you want to be, who you want to be, 13 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,160 Speaker 1: how you want to create, the things that you need 14 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 1: to change and overcome in terms of all of that, 15 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: what are your non negotiables? Now? I wouldn't normally say this, 16 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: but I'm going to say this for this episode. I 17 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: think that it's a good idea, if not now, maybe 18 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: later for you to hit the pause button even and 19 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:10,480 Speaker 1: just brainstorm, like, what is it that I want to do? Be? Create? 20 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:11,720 Speaker 1: Who do I want to be? How do I what 21 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: do I want my life to look like? In terms 22 00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,680 Speaker 1: of what I want what needs to be non negotiable. 23 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: Do you really want to get in shape? Do you 24 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 1: really want to be fit? Lean, healthy? Is that what 25 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: you want? Cool? Tell me you're non negotiables. Not yet, 26 00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 1: I'll give it a go and see how it works out. No, 27 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 1: what are you not? What are the things that you 28 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,680 Speaker 1: will absolutely no matter what, irrespective of whether or not 29 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:39,800 Speaker 1: you're in the zone, out of the zone, excited, not excited, happy, sad, 30 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: cold day, warm day, sunshine, rain. What are the things 31 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: that you will truly commit to that will become a 32 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: non negotiable part of your operating system, your daily operating system, 33 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,320 Speaker 1: the things that you typically do to live in alignment 34 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: with the person you want to be in the middle 35 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: of the life that you want to create. Because it's very, 36 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,519 Speaker 1: very easy to say, these are my non negotiables, Well, 37 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 1: non negotiable for me, I'm going to exercise every day 38 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: of thirty minutes. I'm only going to drink booze two 39 00:02:14,120 --> 00:02:16,000 Speaker 1: days a week, or I'm going to drink no booze, 40 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 1: or it's easy to talk about this stuff. And we've heard, 41 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: you've heard the term non negotiables. And one of the 42 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 1: dangers of listening to me every day is that we 43 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: can hear this stuff and go yeah, harps, that's yeah, 44 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: that makes sense or that resonates, or but we don't 45 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:37,080 Speaker 1: fucking do anything like we just get eight, ten, twelve 46 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,919 Speaker 1: minutes of theory with me, and then we go back 47 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,800 Speaker 1: to status quo. We just slip back into groundhog day. 48 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,680 Speaker 1: And I want you to enjoy what I talk about, 49 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: and I want to inspire and motivate you, and I 50 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: want to challenge you and provoke you, and I want 51 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: you to slip into that metacognitive kind of experience of 52 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: thinking about how you think and thinking also about how 53 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: and why you behave the way you do. But also 54 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: I would love for these moments that you have with 55 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 1: me to actually lead to something practical, because it's in 56 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: the practical that the process happens. It's in the practical 57 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:21,359 Speaker 1: that you become different. It's in the practical that you 58 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: start to succeed and move into the place that you 59 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: want to be. Experientially, when we identify our non negotiables, 60 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: when we get really clear about that, it helps us 61 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: navigate life. It helps us It gives us much more 62 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: clarity and certainty around decision making, around action taking. And 63 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: when I've identified and I am living my non negotiables, 64 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: I don't need to rely on inspiration and motivation they 65 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: prevail my non negotiables, my rules, my standards, they prevail 66 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:02,480 Speaker 1: when motivation doesn't. People say to me, I've had something 67 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: like this many times. How do you go out and 68 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: everyone's eating a certain way and drinking and drinking booze 69 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 1: or whatever, and you don't now I might sound like 70 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: a kill joy or a party pooper or a social dud. 71 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 1: And honestly, I'm probably all of that in many people's eyes. 72 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,240 Speaker 1: And I get it, and I understand, and I definitely 73 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:24,039 Speaker 1: don't think anybody needs to be like me. The beauty 74 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:25,840 Speaker 1: of me being me is I get to choose how 75 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: I am. The beauty of you being you is you 76 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:31,400 Speaker 1: get to choose your operating system and your non negotiables. 77 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,359 Speaker 1: But the truth is that how I can be in 78 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,599 Speaker 1: a situation where the majority, if not all, of the 79 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 1: people are behaving a certain way and I'm not is 80 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: because my operating system, my non negotiables, doesn't change depending 81 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 1: on who I'm with or where I'm at. And so 82 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: because for example, one of my non negotiables is I 83 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: don't drink alcohol. And again, this is not a recommendation 84 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:58,440 Speaker 1: or a suggestion. But this is one of my non negotiables. 85 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: This is one of my rules. This is one of 86 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: my standards, and it's not something that I do when 87 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: I'm being disciplined or I'm self regulating well, or I'm 88 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: in the zone, or I'm particularly motivated or inspired. And 89 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 1: look how fucking good I'm being. I'm with all of 90 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,599 Speaker 1: these drinkers that I'm not drinking. No, I just don't drink. 91 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: And the reason I don't drink, and the reason that 92 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 1: after years of eating crap and being self destructive with food, 93 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: the reason that I'm in a different place now is 94 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 1: because I identify the things that for me, based on 95 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,839 Speaker 1: how I want to be and who I want to be, 96 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 1: need to be non negotiable. I know that personally, I 97 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: know that how I work emotionally, mentally and socially around 98 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,599 Speaker 1: for example, food, I know that I need to be 99 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:47,040 Speaker 1: clear about what's okay for me and what's not. And 100 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: because I have absolute clarity and certainty about what's okay 101 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 1: for me, so booze not okay, drugs not okay, junk 102 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,720 Speaker 1: food not okay. And the reason is not because I 103 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: want to be a teetope or I'm a party pooper. 104 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:05,840 Speaker 1: It's because this is the way that I think, Oh, 105 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,719 Speaker 1: I've only got one body, and I don't have awesome genetics, 106 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,919 Speaker 1: So what I better do with this one body that 107 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:14,039 Speaker 1: I have that I can't replace? What I better do 108 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: is take fucking care of it. Now, if I said 109 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:21,240 Speaker 1: do you want to look after your body optimally, most 110 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: of you would go, well, yeah, I'm going cool. So 111 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 1: my next question is regarding you taking care of your 112 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: body optimally, what are your non negotiables? And this is 113 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:37,080 Speaker 1: where we start to squirm in our seats and say 114 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: things like oh yeah, harps, but you've got to have 115 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: a life. And then I go, all right, Brian, I 116 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: don't know why it's Brian, what does that mean? Are 117 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: you saying that, for example, living the way that I 118 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 1: live with certain rules and parameters around food and around 119 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,120 Speaker 1: the way that I socialize, by the way, I love socializing, 120 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,359 Speaker 1: love humans, love hanging out with people, love talking. I 121 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: just don't need booze or excess food to have a 122 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 1: good time. But that's sometimes what we rationalize bad behavior 123 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: with irrational thinking. The truth is none of us need 124 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: booze or junk food. That's the truth. That's the uncomfortable truth. 125 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: I'm not saying don't drink booze and don't ever eat 126 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: junk food. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying 127 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: for you, not for your mom, not for your dad, 128 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: not for your partner, not for your kids, not for 129 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:34,520 Speaker 1: your friends, not for your peers. For you, what for you, 130 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,840 Speaker 1: based on your health, based on how you want to 131 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 1: feel and function and perform, what needs to be non negotiable? 132 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: What about money? What needs to be non negotiable in 133 00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:46,000 Speaker 1: terms of the way that you manage money and the 134 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:48,920 Speaker 1: way that you live around money, your relationship with money? 135 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: What about your career? What needs to be non negotiable? 136 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: What about the way that you raise your kids? What 137 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: are your non negotiables? What are your rules? See, here's 138 00:07:56,360 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 1: the thing. When we clearly identify fire our non negotiables, 139 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 1: life becomes much easier in terms of decision making. Maybe 140 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: easier is not the right word. Maybe clearer. Decisions and 141 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: behaviors become much clearer, and initially maybe hard because we're 142 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: giving up some stuff that might be hard to give up, 143 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,040 Speaker 1: or we're making some changes that might be hard, But 144 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:29,560 Speaker 1: eventually it becomes easier. What are your non negotiables. What 145 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: are the things that you need to identify that aren't working, Like, 146 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:36,080 Speaker 1: what am I doing that's working? What am I doing 147 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,400 Speaker 1: that's not working? The stuff that's working great, the stuff 148 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: that's not working. Maybe you need to create a few rules. 149 00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: We'll take quick break. We'll be back in a minute. 150 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 1: It's how I roll. Okay, we're back. So my question dejure, 151 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,520 Speaker 1: my departing question for you is this, what is a 152 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 1: sometimes behavior? So, in other words, what's a thing that 153 00:08:55,679 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: you do sometimes because you know that you should, but 154 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: then you eventually don't do it because whatever happens right 155 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 1: doesn't matter why? But what's a sometimes in inverted Comma's 156 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: behavior that needs to become an all the time behavior 157 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: or in other words, a non negotiable on planet you? 158 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: All right, now, go do some work. See tomorrow.