1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,320 Speaker 1: Good our team. I hope you will. I hope your 2 00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:05,320 Speaker 1: day is going just swimmingly, if it's just starting, if 3 00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: you're way through, if you're just sliding towards home plate, 4 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 1: I hope things are going well for you. I've got 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 1: a question for you. What are your non negotiables for 6 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 1: your life? What are your non negotiables the things that 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:24,560 Speaker 1: you will, absolutely no matter what, day in day out, 8 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 1: commit to in terms of who you want to be 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,360 Speaker 1: and how you want to be, in terms of your values, 10 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: in terms of your goals, in terms of your dreams, 11 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: in terms of what you want to do on planet you, 12 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: what you want to be, who you want to be, 13 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: how you want to create, the things that you need 14 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: to change and overcome in terms of all of that, 15 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: what are your non negotiables? Now? I wouldn't normally say this, 16 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,960 Speaker 1: but I'm going to say this for this episode. I 17 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,640 Speaker 1: think that it's a good idea, if not now, maybe 18 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:06,120 Speaker 1: later for you to hit the pause button even and 19 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: just brainstorm, like, what is it that I want to do? Be? Create? 20 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 1: Who do I want to be? How do I what 21 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: do I want my life to look like? In terms 22 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: of what I want what needs to be non negotiable. 23 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: Do you really want to get in shape? Do you 24 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: really want to be fit? Lean, healthy? Is that what 25 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,320 Speaker 1: you want? Cool? Tell me you're non negotiables. Not yet, 26 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: I'll give it a go and see how it works out. No, 27 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,039 Speaker 1: what are you not? What are the things that you 28 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: will absolutely no matter what, irrespective of whether or not 29 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:39,680 Speaker 1: you're in the zone, out of the zone, excited, not excited, happy, sad, 30 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: cold day, warm day, sunshine, rain. What are the things 31 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: that you will truly commit to that will become a 32 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: non negotiable part of your operating system, your daily operating system, 33 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,280 Speaker 1: the things that you typically do to live in alignment 34 00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: with the person you want to be in the middle 35 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 1: of the life that you want to create. Because it's very, 36 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 1: very easy to say, these are my non negotiables, Well, 37 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 1: non negotiable for me, I'm going to exercise every day 38 00:02:10,919 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 1: of thirty minutes. I'm only going to drink booze two 39 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:15,959 Speaker 1: days a week, or I'm going to drink no booze, 40 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:20,840 Speaker 1: or it's easy to talk about this stuff. And we've heard, 41 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: you've heard the term non negotiables. And one of the 42 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 1: dangers of listening to me every day is that we 43 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,400 Speaker 1: can hear this stuff and go yeah, harps, that's yeah, 44 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: that makes sense or that resonates, or but we don't 45 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 1: fucking do anything like we just get eight, ten, twelve 46 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,880 Speaker 1: minutes of theory with me, and then we go back 47 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,760 Speaker 1: to status quo. We just slip back into groundhog day. 48 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: And I want you to enjoy what I talk about, 49 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,960 Speaker 1: and I want to inspire and motivate you, and I 50 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 1: want to challenge you and provoke you, and I want 51 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 1: you to slip into that metacognitive kind of experience of 52 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 1: thinking about how you think and thinking also about how 53 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 1: and why you behave the way you do. But also 54 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: I would love for these moments that you have with 55 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 1: me to actually lead to something practical, because it's in 56 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: the practical that the process happens. It's in the practical 57 00:03:16,960 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: that you become different. It's in the practical that you 58 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: start to succeed and move into the place that you 59 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: want to be. Experientially, when we identify our non negotiables, 60 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 1: when we get really clear about that, it helps us 61 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: navigate life. It helps us It gives us much more 62 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: clarity and certainty around decision making, around action taking. And 63 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: when I've identified and I am living my non negotiables, 64 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 1: I don't need to rely on inspiration and motivation. They 65 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: prevail my non negotiables, my rules, my standards, they prevail 66 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: when motivation doesn't. When people say to me, I've had 67 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,880 Speaker 1: something like this many times, how do you go out 68 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: and everyone's eating a certain way and drinking and drinking 69 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: booze or whatever, and you don't Now, I might sound 70 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: like a kill joy or a party pooper or a 71 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:16,520 Speaker 1: social dud, And honestly, I'm probably all of that in 72 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,279 Speaker 1: many people's eyes. And I get it, and I understand, 73 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 1: and I definitely don't think anybody needs to be like me. 74 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: The beauty of me being me is I get to 75 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: choose how I am. The beauty of you being you 76 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: is you get to choose your operating system and your 77 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: non negotiables. But the truth is that how I can 78 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: be in a situation where the majority, if not all, 79 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: of the people are behaving a certain way and I'm 80 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: not is because my operating system, my non negotiables, doesn't 81 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:46,719 Speaker 1: change depending on who I'm with or where I'm at. 82 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: And so because for example, one of my non negotiables 83 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,240 Speaker 1: is I don't drink alcohol, And again, this is not 84 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:57,320 Speaker 1: a recommendation or a suggestion. But this is one of 85 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 1: my non negotiables. This is one of my rules. This 86 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,279 Speaker 1: is one of my standards, and it's not something that 87 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: I do when I'm being disciplined or I'm self regulating well, 88 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,960 Speaker 1: or I'm in the zone, or I'm particularly motivated or inspired. 89 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,320 Speaker 1: And look how fucking good I'm being. I'm with all 90 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: of these drinkers and I'm not drinking. No, I just 91 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,599 Speaker 1: don't drink. And the reason I don't drink, and the 92 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:21,239 Speaker 1: reason that after years of eating crap and being self 93 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 1: destructive with food, the reason that I'm in a different 94 00:05:24,040 --> 00:05:27,599 Speaker 1: place now is because I identify the things that for me, 95 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: based on how I want to be and who I 96 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 1: want to be, need to be non negotiable. I know 97 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 1: that personally, I know that how I work emotionally, mentally 98 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: and socially around for example, food, I know that I 99 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 1: need to be clear about what's okay for me and 100 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: what's not. And because I have absolute clarity and certainty 101 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 1: about what's okay for me, so booze not okay, drugs 102 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:57,359 Speaker 1: not okay, junk food not okay. And the reason is 103 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,839 Speaker 1: not because I want to be a teetote or I'm 104 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: a party pooper. It's because this is the way that 105 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,400 Speaker 1: I think, Oh, I've only got one body, and I 106 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 1: don't have awesome genetics, So what I better do with 107 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: this one body that I have that I can't replace? 108 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:17,560 Speaker 1: What I better do is take fucking care of it. Now, 109 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: if I said do you want to look after your 110 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 1: body optimally, most of you would go, well, yeah, I'm 111 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: going cool. So my next question is regarding you taking 112 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:32,840 Speaker 1: care of your body optimally, what are your non negotiables? 113 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,800 Speaker 1: And this is where we start to squirm in our 114 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,920 Speaker 1: seats and say things like oh yeah, harps, but you've 115 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:44,280 Speaker 1: got to have a life. And then I go, all right, Brian, 116 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,560 Speaker 1: I don't know why it's Brian, what does that mean? 117 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: Are you saying that, for example, living the way that 118 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: I live with certain rules and parameters around food and 119 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: around the way that I socialize, by the way, I 120 00:06:56,240 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 1: love socializing, love humans, love hanging out with people, love talking. 121 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: I just don't need booze or excess food to have 122 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: a good time. But that's sometimes what we rationalize bad 123 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: behavior with irrational thinking. The truth is none of us 124 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 1: need booze or junk food. That's the truth. That's the 125 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 1: uncomfortable truth. I'm not saying don't drink booze and don't 126 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 1: ever eat junk food. I'm not saying that at all. 127 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: I'm saying for you, not for your mom, not for 128 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,480 Speaker 1: your dad, not for your partner, not for your kids, 129 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: not for your friends, not for your peers. For you, 130 00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:37,360 Speaker 1: what for you, based on your health, based on how 131 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,120 Speaker 1: you want to feel and function and perform, what needs 132 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: to be non negotiable? What about money? What needs to 133 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: be non negotiable in terms of the way that you 134 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: manage money and the way that you live around money, 135 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,520 Speaker 1: your relationship with money? What about your career? What needs 136 00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,600 Speaker 1: to be non negotiable? What about the way that you 137 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 1: raise your kids? What are your non negotiables? What are 138 00:07:54,800 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 1: your rules? See here's the thing. When we clearly identify 139 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 1: via our non negotiables, life becomes much easier in terms 140 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: of decision making. Maybe easier is not the right word. 141 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: Maybe clearer. Decisions and behaviors become much clearer, and initially 142 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: maybe hard because we're giving up some stuff that might 143 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 1: be hard to give up, or we're making some changes 144 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:26,920 Speaker 1: that might be hard, But eventually it becomes easier. What 145 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: are your non negotiables. What are the things that you 146 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: need to identify that aren't working, Like, what am I 147 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: doing that's working? What am I doing that's not working? 148 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:39,199 Speaker 1: The stuff that's working great, the stuff that's not working. 149 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 1: Maybe you need to create a few rules. We'll take 150 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 1: quick break. We'll be back in a minute. It's how 151 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 1: I roll. Okay, we're back. So my question dejure, my 152 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 1: departing question for you is this, what is a sometimes behavior? So, 153 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: in other words, what's a thing that you do sometimes 154 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: because you know that you should, but then you eventually 155 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:02,839 Speaker 1: don't do it because whatever happens right doesn't matter why? 156 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: But what's a sometimes in inverted Comma's behavior that needs 157 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,320 Speaker 1: to become an all the time behavior or in other words, 158 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: a non negotiable on planet you? All right, now, go 159 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,319 Speaker 1: do some work. See tomorrow.