Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to Something to talk About. I'm Sarah
Speaker 1: La Marquin, editor and chip.
Speaker 2: Ri Stella and your host who the radio presented.
Speaker 1: Biancha Die is no stranger to tackling taboos and staring
Speaker 1: down stigma.
Speaker 3: After all, she's been doing it since back when feminism
Speaker 3: was a.
Speaker 1: Dirty word, particularly in the then male dominated world of radio.
Speaker 1: But her new era, a chapter of her life she
Speaker 1: describes as fifty, sacked and single, is seeing her having
Speaker 1: to stare down even more stereotypes. So she navigates mental health, unemployment,
Speaker 1: and the dating pool.
Speaker 3: As a woman in her fifties.
Speaker 1: There was never a dull moment when Bianca joined me
Speaker 1: in the studio today to discuss.
Speaker 2: All of this and much more.
Speaker 3: And while I.
Speaker 1: May have inadvertently scared her by asking if she ever
Speaker 1: worries about men she's dated playing her infamous voice messages
Speaker 1: to their friends at the pub, she in turn managed
Speaker 1: to convince me that her recently sending a seven minute
Speaker 1: voice message to one such man was in fact a
Speaker 1: very smart move. Let's see if she convinces you too,
Speaker 1: Bianca Die, Welcome to Something to talk about.
Speaker 4: Hello, beautiful Ferret, so good to be here.
Speaker 1: It's lovely to have you here, Lovely to have you
Speaker 1: in Sydney. Normally, of course, you're based in the Gold Coast,
Speaker 1: so you have braved the chilly weather in the Southern
Speaker 1: States because it is the first week oh go, first
Speaker 1: weekend of winter. So welcome they brighten things up now, Bianca.
Speaker 1: You wrote a column for this week's issue of Stella
Speaker 1: where you reveal that you recently left a seven minute
Speaker 1: voice message for a man you were supposed to go
Speaker 1: on a date with. Seven minutes what I know and
Speaker 1: then what happened next?
Speaker 4: You know what? As I say in the article, I
Speaker 4: really think when you bring up the voice message with people,
Speaker 4: they are so split. People like either I can feel
Speaker 4: them like even getting hair and makeup today for the
Speaker 4: shit like when you start talking about it, people either
Speaker 4: prickle up like you can feel them prickling, like oh god,
Speaker 4: this is a voice message person, or they're like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, are't they great? Like I feel like there's
Speaker 4: two people in the world. You either love them or
Speaker 4: you hate them. And I honestly feel I'm a people person,
Speaker 4: like I've been in SHOWV since I was sixteen years old, radio, TV,
Speaker 4: acting whatever. Marilyn Monroe impersonator, whatever it was. I'm a
Speaker 4: people person, and I honestly feel that the nuances that
Speaker 4: you have in your voice, like you can't reply as
Speaker 4: someone that speaks for a living on the radio. Although
Speaker 4: it sound like a drag que at the moment, sorry
Speaker 4: getting over a respiratory infection, I feel that what you
Speaker 4: can convey in a voice message, with your voice and
Speaker 4: your nuances and how you say it, is so much
Speaker 4: more powerful than just a text. So if I'd sent
Speaker 4: this guy a text for starters, it would have been
Speaker 4: war and Peace. It would have been the longest text
Speaker 4: in the history.
Speaker 1: Because if you transcribe seven minute voice message and we're
Speaker 1: in tens of thousands of words, aren't we really first
Speaker 1: chapter of your next novel?
Speaker 4: Yet? We really are? So? And I wanted him to
Speaker 4: hear because it was I'm going through a lot of
Speaker 4: things at the moment that I think a lot of
Speaker 4: fifty year old or middle aged women are. Our show
Speaker 4: got acced at the end of last year. I'm having
Speaker 4: to pivot in the middle of my life. It's exciting,
Speaker 4: but it's terrifying. I've got an elderly mother that I'm
Speaker 4: a sole career for because I don't have brothers and
Speaker 4: sisters from that marriage, being single, going through stuff, This
Speaker 4: is so much going on, and I wanted him to
Speaker 4: hear in my voice that it genuinely wasn't him, that
Speaker 4: I've just got a lot going on, And so I
Speaker 4: sent this. Literally, I was like, thank you for listening
Speaker 4: to my ted talk. I said it, and it worked
Speaker 4: because he genuinely he sent me one back.
Speaker 3: He said, you a voice message?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and he said I was his voice messy. He
Speaker 4: was so nice. But the thing was, he said, I've
Speaker 4: never done this before, and what I love.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 4: I guess like dopamine rush when I convert people to
Speaker 4: the VM because when they message me and they go, okay,
Speaker 4: I have never done one of these before, Banka die
Speaker 4: and you are the only person I'm going to do
Speaker 4: a voice message for. All right, here we go. So
Speaker 4: hate the sound of my own voice, but here we go.
Speaker 4: And I guess because I'm a radio an auncer, I'm
Speaker 4: used to hearing my voice, so I don't worry about
Speaker 4: how it sounds. But I love converting people. So when
Speaker 4: he said I've never sent a voice message before, I
Speaker 4: was like, Oh, I'm proud of you. Well done. And
Speaker 4: he said thank you because he said I could hear
Speaker 4: in your voice just how genuinely you meant what you said,
Speaker 4: and that it really wasn't me, because he said, if
Speaker 4: you'd sent that as a text, I would have felt rejected.
Speaker 4: I would have felt like shit. I would have felt like, ah,
Speaker 4: she's making up excuses. This is all bullshit. For me,
Speaker 4: he said, I heard in your voice, and there was
Speaker 4: probably moments when my voice might have cracked because I
Speaker 4: was like my mom and I'm dealing with this and that.
Speaker 4: And he just said thank you, and I went, oh, see,
Speaker 4: they do work. But I've worked with people who literally
Speaker 4: have said to me, I think the voice message is
Speaker 4: for selfish people that just love the sound of their
Speaker 4: own voice because it's very one way and it's just
Speaker 4: so typical of you be anker, because it's just something
Speaker 4: you do. You just send a voice message and then
Speaker 4: you put the phone away and you don't think about it.
Speaker 4: You know, I've said my piece, and.
Speaker 1: It's like I didn't realize it was this polarizing. Can
Speaker 1: you be a little bit of both When you say
Speaker 1: there's people that are subscribers to the voice message and
Speaker 1: then people that are texts, can you can you jump
Speaker 1: between the two platforms.
Speaker 4: I think you can. I think I definitely do both.
Speaker 4: I'll give a classic example. I've got a beautiful Bessie
Speaker 4: of mine. She lives in Melbourne, she's got two kids,
Speaker 4: lives out on a farm. She's busy. I normally were
Speaker 4: doing Brecky radio for fourteen years. I lead crazy hours
Speaker 4: up at four fifteen. This might go for a nap,
Speaker 4: go to the gym, do this, write an article. Whatever
Speaker 4: we lead such separate time schedules. I almost feel that
Speaker 4: it's more selfish of me to expect that when I
Speaker 4: ring her, she's going to pick up, because you know what,
Speaker 4: She's in woolies and she's getting the groceries for the kids,
Speaker 4: and I'll piank's ringing, Oh, I don't have time to
Speaker 4: chat to you right now. But when she sees a
Speaker 4: voice message come through, she goes. I get this little
Speaker 4: smile on my face because I go, I'm going to
Speaker 4: get a b die update. I'm going to find out
Speaker 4: what's going on in the world of dating, what's happening,
Speaker 4: what happened with the job, what this? That that? And
Speaker 4: she will listen to it when it suits her. So
Speaker 4: to me, I actually feel like I'm not being selfish
Speaker 4: because I'm not ringing her going expecting her to pick
Speaker 4: up at whenever I'm leaving her a voice message. We've
Speaker 4: got an unwritten rule. She will listen to it when
Speaker 4: she's good and ready. What take two days for her
Speaker 4: to get to that voice message. She will listen to
Speaker 4: my little mini podcast, and then she as she's driving
Speaker 4: around school pick up whatever, she'll send me one back.
Speaker 4: And so that way we have managed to maint I
Speaker 4: don't think we've actually spoken on the phone and had
Speaker 4: a two way conversation in twelve months.
Speaker 1: That will be interesting when you do, won't it, Because
Speaker 1: you'd be like, oh, wait a minute, Wait a minute,
Speaker 1: this is live.
Speaker 3: You're speaking.
Speaker 4: Oh that's right, I've got to stop wait for you
Speaker 4: to talk. Okay, Sorry. But I actually think there is
Speaker 4: a place for the voice message. I think it can
Speaker 4: be really powerful, And I understand a lot of people
Speaker 4: don't like them, but I just think they're not going anywhere,
Speaker 4: So I feel like people just need to get used
Speaker 4: to them and embrace it.
Speaker 1: Specifically, in the world of dating, everything whether it's the
Speaker 1: technology through to the nature of how you met, whether
Speaker 1: it's on a dating app or in real life. There's
Speaker 1: always that risk, especially in those initial stages of meeting
Speaker 1: somewhere where you really don't know. Am I dealing with
Speaker 1: the total psychopath? Am I dealing with somebody that could
Speaker 1: be the love of my life, the best person ever
Speaker 1: that's just been waiting for me? Or could I be
Speaker 1: someone in the middle who's going to be okay but
Speaker 1: then probably goes me. I think some people listening, maybe
Speaker 1: especially women, would think there's a risk that if you
Speaker 1: send a voice message that it's going to get broadcast and.
Speaker 3: Played for his mates down at the pub. Did that
Speaker 3: cross your mind?
Speaker 4: You know, I've never thought of okay. I haven't ever
Speaker 4: thought of no, no, no. But it's funny you say that,
Speaker 4: because I never think of the men sit playing them
Speaker 4: to their friends. But I know that I've got girlfriends
Speaker 4: who will message me and go, is this an R
Speaker 4: rated one? Are we going to hear what happened when
Speaker 4: the guy came back? Or not? Because I've got little
Speaker 4: ears in the back, the little is here this one
Speaker 4: or not? So I now learn, because I don't have kids,
Speaker 4: that there are some some of my little voice messages
Speaker 4: that I have to put They have to come with
Speaker 4: a little like exclamating yes, this is R rated, do
Speaker 4: not listen with the four year old in the back seat.
Speaker 4: I had not actually thought about a guy playing that
Speaker 4: to a friend. But I don't mind, because I guess
Speaker 4: I would never say anything to a guy that I
Speaker 4: don't know that well for just dating that I probably
Speaker 4: wouldn't that I would worry me, as in, that's going
Speaker 4: to come back and haunt me. God if I started
Speaker 4: worrying about that, So can you imagine?
Speaker 1: Well, I certainly didn't mean to plannominous thoughts.
Speaker 3: You don't meet in your mind?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mentioned technology and where people meet.
Speaker 1: There's been a bit of discussion lately that the dating.
Speaker 3: Apps are over. That's what a lot? Are they?
Speaker 1: Dating expert says, Please, uh, what about you? Are you
Speaker 1: on the dating apps? Do you think that.
Speaker 3: They're still a thing? And if they are.
Speaker 1: Going the way of the Dodo headed for extinction?
Speaker 3: Is that a blessed relief or is that a real loss?
Speaker 4: Okay, here's my thought on that. It is a blessed relief.
Speaker 4: I absolutely despise being on the dating apps, but where
Speaker 4: do we go to meet them? Like I, especially when
Speaker 4: I was doing rerecky radio. And now I'm fifty. I
Speaker 4: don't go to bars. I don't hang out. It's not
Speaker 4: like my thirties when I was at a nov in
Speaker 4: Sydney and we'd go out to bars and hang out
Speaker 4: in nightclubs and you'd meet people. I'm a bit of
Speaker 4: a nana. I'm watching Baby Reindeer, I'm in my Jami's,
Speaker 4: I'm writing, I'm doing whatever. I'm going to forty five
Speaker 4: early in the morning or whatever. I'm not Maybe I
Speaker 4: should try and meet someone there. Where do you meet people?
Speaker 4: So I've been pitching actually to a couple of big
Speaker 4: venues up on the Gold Coast, a singles night for
Speaker 4: over forty fives that I host or over forties, because
Speaker 4: I've had so many women reach out to me on
Speaker 4: my Instagram or whatever. Going Bee, I'm your age too.
Speaker 4: I've just come out of a twenty year marriage. Where
Speaker 4: do I go? The apps are it is a swamp?
Speaker 4: And I say that with love because I'm on there,
Speaker 4: But it is a swamp. I just got ghosted by
Speaker 4: a guy who's like almost my age was messaging me
Speaker 4: every day, so we moved from the app onto text
Speaker 4: messaging me every day morning beautiful. How's your day? Dida da?
Speaker 4: Gone ghosted? And I called him out because I'm like,
Speaker 4: I am no, I'm a fifty year old You are
Speaker 4: not ghosting me. No, this is not happening. So I
Speaker 4: messaged him and I said, so is this what's happening?
Speaker 4: Am I being ghosted? Because it's been four days and
Speaker 4: he's like, no, No, I've just been really busy. And
Speaker 4: I said, that's no, one's that busy. You were messaging
Speaker 4: me morning and night. Morning beautiful, how's her day? Night gorgeous?
Speaker 4: How are you feeling da da dah. I'm like, you've
Speaker 4: definitely ghosted me. Just have the balls to say I've
Speaker 4: had it happen where I've been really into a guy
Speaker 4: for a few weeks and then goneh I don't know.
Speaker 4: I just don't know. If he's got four kids, he
Speaker 4: lives in Brisbane. I don't think we're going to get
Speaker 4: to see each other. But I at least politely will
Speaker 4: say hey, I'm just gonna be really honest, and even
Speaker 4: if I make something up, like my therapist said, I
Speaker 4: shouldn't be dating right now, or my mum's a lot
Speaker 4: of work at the moment, which is not always but
Speaker 4: sometimes I just don't have time for this right now.
Speaker 4: Just say something, be polite. I think ghosting is for cowards.
Speaker 4: I think it's horrible. It's like, come on, have the
Speaker 4: and to me, my girlfriends always say dodgeable, because if
Speaker 4: he's the kind of guy that's going to ghost you
Speaker 4: and not at least say hey, sorry, I'm going through
Speaker 4: a bit at the moment, the ex is giving me
Speaker 4: a hard time. The kids are doing this, that's happening.
Speaker 4: I get it. I'm a human being. Well, we're all
Speaker 4: going through our shit. Just at least be the kind
Speaker 4: of human that says I can't do this. I think
Speaker 4: ghosting is for cowards. So the thing with the apps
Speaker 4: is you can hide behind the apps. And also the
Speaker 4: thing I miss meeting people in real life because then
Speaker 4: there's that instant chemistry right where there's either I like you,
Speaker 4: this guy's you don't look like the kind of guy
Speaker 4: that I normally day, but you've got that amazing personality,
Speaker 4: and then you click and I've matched with the hottest
Speaker 4: looking dudes that are the biggest decades and I'm like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, if I'd meet you in person, I
Speaker 4: would have sniffed that in two seconds. I've wasted three
Speaker 4: weeks of backwards and forwards using all my good gear
Speaker 4: funny material when I'm joking, but you know, it's exhausting
Speaker 4: backwards and forwards getting to know people, and sometimes you've
Speaker 4: got two or three conversations going at once because you do.
Speaker 1: I think the question that you are where do you
Speaker 1: meet people is actually quite a cross generational one because
Speaker 1: when you say, oh, I'm a nana, I don't really
Speaker 1: go out in this post COVID era, that's actually quite
Speaker 1: common among a lot of people from Gen Z all
Speaker 1: the way through to millennials gen X boomers. Also, as
Speaker 1: you're talking about the way that dating apps have exacerbated
Speaker 1: this culture of ghosting because there's not that in person accountability,
Speaker 1: it's also how to trickle down effects.
Speaker 3: So even if people.
Speaker 1: Are meeting in real life, there's now anecdotes about people
Speaker 1: then saying well you on the dating apps because you know,
Speaker 1: maybe we could meet there, and it's like, but we're
Speaker 1: here now, Oh my god, have a drink now or
Speaker 1: swas so swap. It's a great idea what you're talking
Speaker 1: about setting up that sort of that real life mixer
Speaker 1: or singles night, because I mean old question so many
Speaker 1: people are asking, but maybe there's a place for old School.
Speaker 1: And if there is a movement away from the apps,
Speaker 1: then what is the solution?
Speaker 4: It is quote, un where are meeting? Where are we meeting?
Speaker 4: Like I, you know, I'm at Woolies? Am I going
Speaker 4: to meet you at Woolies? Am I going to meet you?
Speaker 4: I don't have kids, so there's not I'm not going
Speaker 4: to be hanging out at the school pickup looking at
Speaker 4: the single hot dads. And you'd think someone like me
Speaker 4: who works in entertainment, I'm usually hosting events or doing
Speaker 4: stuff for what have you. I am out and about,
Speaker 4: but I'm not meeting guys when I'm mountain about. They're not.
Speaker 4: Like I hosted a fashion parade the other day on
Speaker 4: the Old Guys. It was just all women, you know,
Speaker 4: And I sort of sat up there and went, anyone
Speaker 4: got any hot sons? Anyone brothers?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 4: Hell? I was about to say sisters. No, I was like,
Speaker 4: where do you go to meet people? And when I
Speaker 4: pitched this old School It's funny actually because I pitched
Speaker 4: it as a dating night, as singles night. But someone
Speaker 4: said to me, and I'm a hypocrite because I got
Speaker 4: invited to a speed dating night last week and I
Speaker 4: was like, no, And I know this is going to
Speaker 4: sound wanky, and I don't mean this in it's a
Speaker 4: little bit different when you've got a profile. And I've
Speaker 4: spoken to other girlfriends of mine in radio and TV
Speaker 4: who are single or dating, and I'm like, it's a
Speaker 4: little hard. Like for a while there, I was on
Speaker 4: billboards all over the Gold Coast. And I'm not saying
Speaker 4: that to be a wanker. It's just I work in media.
Speaker 4: You get media thirty years.
Speaker 3: Of course you have a profile.
Speaker 1: If that brings complications, it does.
Speaker 4: Because I've had guys seriously just want to go on
Speaker 4: a date with me, because I want to go back
Speaker 4: and tell all the other guys on the trading site.
Speaker 4: You know that chick that we used to listen to
Speaker 4: on CFM, I went out on a date with her,
Speaker 4: Like I know for a fact that they've confessed that
Speaker 4: to me. They're like, well, I've always wanted to meet you.
Speaker 3: Really, Okay, So that's what this is all about.
Speaker 4: I Also a hard thing for me too, is that
Speaker 4: this is what I was about the guy that goes
Speaker 4: to me. I said to my girlfriend, if he googles me.
Speaker 4: I'm stuffed, Like you put my name into Google. There's like,
Speaker 4: I mean, a few years ago, an article that was
Speaker 4: meant to be four pages back was obviously a slow
Speaker 4: news day front page career mail. This big me and
Speaker 4: my ex, and the headline is I love you, babe,
Speaker 4: but I want my ex's baby. Brilliant headline. It was
Speaker 4: because I had frozen embryos with an ex. Brilliant. Oh
Speaker 4: my god. It was one of that like every oh
Speaker 4: my god, but that comes up when you google me.
Speaker 4: So but not just that, but me doing a Honeybird
Speaker 4: debt shoot for this a fun night I had with
Speaker 4: Russell Brand a long time ago, long before he got canceled.
Speaker 4: Nothing happened. But you know what I mean, you google
Speaker 4: my name, all this stuff comes up, and it's like,
Speaker 4: I guess, if you're just an average lovely dude who
Speaker 4: works you know wherever, you google me and you go,
Speaker 4: holy shit, that comes there's a lot there. I don't
Speaker 4: know if I can handle that. So I get it,
Speaker 4: but I think, yeah, dating with the profile, it's not
Speaker 4: normal dating because as soon as they find out what
Speaker 4: I do, it changes everything.
Speaker 3: How do you navigate that? Then?
Speaker 1: Have you had a situation where you could see somebody
Speaker 1: has clearly obtained one piece of information, whether it's about
Speaker 1: your personal life or something that's happened professionally, and it's
Speaker 1: maybe coloring the questions that they're asking, and do you
Speaker 1: just then sort of tackle it and go, okay, let's
Speaker 1: just swap some stories. You know, you tell me about
Speaker 1: some of your things, and I'm going to tell you
Speaker 1: about some of my things, knowing that they might have
Speaker 1: already found it on.
Speaker 4: That's good, I say to them, because I say, this
Speaker 4: is really unfair. Because one guy went, I googled you,
Speaker 4: and he goes, just so you know, I don't want
Speaker 4: to have any more kids, and I went, well, I'm
Speaker 4: forty nine and I've given up on that. I've done
Speaker 4: the whole IVF journey. I'm not having any more kids either,
Speaker 4: and I'm not having any I'm not having any kids.
Speaker 4: I'm not trying for any more kids. I was a stepmom, whatever,
Speaker 4: I'm not trying four kids at all anymore. It's all good.
Speaker 4: And I said to him, we've never even had that conversation.
Speaker 4: Why would you even say that? And he's like, oh,
Speaker 4: it's just that, you know, when I googled you. There's
Speaker 4: all these IVF stories and you tried and whatever, and
Speaker 4: I'm just want to let you know that I don't
Speaker 4: want to have anymore, so if you want to keep trying,
Speaker 4: And I was like, okay, I really appreciate your honesty,
Speaker 4: but it's okay. Thank you for saying that, but I'm
Speaker 4: not still trying anymore. So nice, And I also say
Speaker 4: to them, this is what's really hard. You've googled me.
Speaker 4: You can read my entire Wikipedia page. You know, my
Speaker 4: career from when I started out as a Marilyn Monroe
Speaker 4: personator when I was nineteen to you know, kiss FM,
Speaker 4: to this that you can read my whole life online.
Speaker 4: I said, it feels really unfair. So yeah, that, like
Speaker 4: you just said, you need to tell me. You need
Speaker 4: to tell me a lot more about yourself, because right
Speaker 4: now this is a very uneven load. And you're coming
Speaker 4: in with loaded questions thinking that you know me, but
Speaker 4: you don't know me. You don't know me. You just
Speaker 4: know what you've read in you know, whatever, daily email
Speaker 4: or whatever, and.
Speaker 1: Your experience would obviously be very specific in that what
Speaker 1: we've just talked about. There's all of these different stories
Speaker 1: about you. Online, But there is a universal chord here
Speaker 1: I think that a lot of people would relate to,
Speaker 1: which is everyone is doing a deep dive on somebody.
Speaker 1: They're doing a social media stalking. So there would be
Speaker 1: a lot of people meeting up for that first coffee
Speaker 1: or that first dinner and actually coming in with a
Speaker 1: lot of preconceptions and things that they think they might
Speaker 1: have been looking at SO and so's ex girlfriends.
Speaker 4: Yes, everyone comes.
Speaker 1: To it with a bit of baggage. Whoever you are, So,
Speaker 1: how did you feel them when that accelerated a conversation
Speaker 1: as someone igniting a conversation that was, as you say,
Speaker 1: actually not necessary about the fact that they didn't plan
Speaker 1: to have children.
Speaker 3: Is that a welcome thing?
Speaker 1: Do we think that having those quite big conversations early
Speaker 1: on could be uncomfortable sometimes? But also on the flip
Speaker 1: side of ghosting, you really know who you're dealing with
Speaker 1: both for both people you do.
Speaker 4: And I actually don't mind that. I don't mind diving
Speaker 4: deep pretty quickly, I find with they apps with the
Speaker 4: small talk, I'm really not into that small talk backwards
Speaker 4: and forwards? How is your day? What did you do?
Speaker 4: I went surfing today? How the waves? Ah? Far out. Really,
Speaker 4: I feel like I would much rather get to know
Speaker 4: a guy really quickly and go you actually sound like
Speaker 4: a pretty cool dude. Let's meet for a coffee. Let's
Speaker 4: not waste any time. I don't want to be going
Speaker 4: backwards and forwards. But so what did your kids do today?
Speaker 4: That's irrelevant because if we don't have chemistry in person,
Speaker 4: no matter how lovely you are on the chat and
Speaker 4: the bands online, if we don't have that in person chemistry,
Speaker 4: so I'd rather dive deep really quickly. So I don't
Speaker 4: mind if a guy goes straight there. I think it's great.
Speaker 4: You're right, though we do come in on a date
Speaker 4: with a you do do a bit of a stalk.
Speaker 4: Like my girlfriend's amazing. Like I'll say to her, Okay,
Speaker 4: it's this guy and I don't know his surname, but
Speaker 4: he works at this company and data and within she's amazing.
Speaker 4: She's a detective. She'll be watching this. You know who
Speaker 4: you are. She I'll just send her a photo and
Speaker 4: then the first name and whatever, and she will like,
Speaker 4: within ten minutes, come back, be married twice, this many kids?
Speaker 4: This is And I'm like, okay, thank you, tax phone number.
Speaker 4: I'm like thank you, because you do want to know
Speaker 4: a little bit. But also I think you've just got
Speaker 4: to let go of all of that and meet someone
Speaker 4: in person, because I've got a lot of different biancas
Speaker 4: that people meet, and you know, and you'd be the same.
Speaker 4: Like I know when I've gone on dates with guys,
Speaker 4: they've gone, god, you're actually a lot more quieter than
Speaker 4: I imagined. And I'm like, yeah, I'm not always on.
Speaker 4: I'm what's Amy schum Is say, I'm an introverted extrovert.
Speaker 4: Like sometimes I love being the center of attention and
Speaker 4: I'm in an event and I'm hosting, and I get
Speaker 4: that at Adrenaline Rush, and I love being on stage
Speaker 4: and making making people laugh. But sometimes on a date,
Speaker 4: I just want to sit there and soak them up.
Speaker 4: And they sort of look at me like I'm well,
Speaker 4: you're the girl, you're the funny girl on the radio.
Speaker 4: You make me laugh sort of stuff, and it's like, okay,
Speaker 4: we're not going to be making a second date. One
Speaker 4: guy said, oh, you know, how did you go last
Speaker 4: night at the Award's night? You know, us normal people
Speaker 4: to get to go to that, And I cut him
Speaker 4: down straight away and I said, not in a nasty way,
Speaker 4: but I said, listen, I'm normal. I'm going through perimenopause.
Speaker 4: I'm struggling to do I've got an elderly mother, this,
Speaker 4: that just lost my job, blah blah blah. I lead
Speaker 4: a really, probably very normal life. Please don't believe everything
Speaker 4: you see on Instagram. I try and be as honest
Speaker 4: as I can on Instagram when I'm struggling, but there's
Speaker 4: only so much that you can say. I can't literally
Speaker 4: go I'm having a MENTI B day, Like some days
Speaker 4: I can't be that honest because there is still stigma
Speaker 4: attached to what we go through with ADHD anxiety depression,
Speaker 4: and there is still stigma, and I don't want to
Speaker 4: seem unemployable. I'm curious. So like there are days when
Speaker 4: I can't get out of bed because I'm struggling. I
Speaker 4: don't necessarily want to put that on my social media,
Speaker 4: even though I do want to share with my followers
Speaker 4: at Hey, my whole life is not having incredible interviews
Speaker 4: with people like you for Stellar magazine and hosting events
Speaker 4: and flying here and there and whatever. I do have
Speaker 4: days at a dark as well. I want to share that.
Speaker 4: I think that's important sometimes It's hard in my industry
Speaker 4: because I'm still working with people that are a bit
Speaker 4: old school who were like, yeah, but do you want
Speaker 4: to Like out a conversation the other day and they
Speaker 4: were like, yeah, but do you want to, Like I'm
Speaker 4: thinking about writing this one woman show and talking about
Speaker 4: it and they're like yeah, but you know. And then
Speaker 4: I look at people like in Rasiano and that and
Speaker 4: they're talking about it all and I'm like, I was
Speaker 4: brought up in a different genre of media and like
Speaker 4: Abby Chadfield all those people who are just out there
Speaker 4: talking about their mental health stuff and they don't give
Speaker 4: a shit what people think. And I love that I
Speaker 4: grew up in an era where I was shushed and
Speaker 4: told no. People don't want to hear that from you.
Speaker 4: You're the happy, bubbly you know. So I'm still I've
Speaker 4: got feel like I've got one foot in that camp
Speaker 4: of being the authentic me and being honest, and the
Speaker 4: other foot in the jazz hands. Everything's fine, Everything's fine.
Speaker 4: You know. It's such a good point. If I said
Speaker 4: you're not normal, I'm like, I am normal. I'm just
Speaker 4: I know it seems like I'm not normal because you
Speaker 4: might see me on the Today Show sometimes or whatever.
Speaker 4: But that doesn't I'm very normal. Actually I'm probably not
Speaker 4: that normal, but you know what I mean, that made me.
Speaker 1: Funny normal anyway, exactly, everyone is normal and nobody is ordinary.
Speaker 1: So and you certainly are having any sort of relationship
Speaker 1: with anybody, whether it's a friendship or a family relationship
Speaker 1: or a possible romantic relationship, unless there's at least an
Speaker 1: understanding that you're both normal or that you're both completely abnormal.
Speaker 1: I think it's a great point that you make about
Speaker 1: this line between vulnerability and being relatable, which, as you've said,
Speaker 1: has become an increasingly acceptable and really welcome part, especially
Speaker 1: for women in the wider culture. But there is that
Speaker 1: risk that we don't necessarily acknowledge, which is that can
Speaker 1: be weaponized or work against.
Speaker 3: You in a professional or a personal setting.
Speaker 4: I have had it weaponized against me, and I'm not
Speaker 4: going to say who, where, what when, But in my
Speaker 4: thirty years of working in radio and TV, I have
Speaker 4: definitely had conversations, and funnily enough, some of them have
Speaker 4: been from women, which was really disappointing, where it was like, now, look,
Speaker 4: I know you get bad anxiety, so I mean, are
Speaker 4: you okay today. But it wasn't a It wasn't in
Speaker 4: a way of being supportive. It was like, you know,
Speaker 4: my anxiety and my ADHD is actually my superpower and
Speaker 4: is actually what makes me a great performer. And would
Speaker 4: have said the same thing right, like that's what gives
Speaker 4: you that that I don't know, that's something that just
Speaker 4: you can do what you do, so don't. A lot
Speaker 4: of men have really bad anxiety and mental health issues
Speaker 4: and have had time off as well in my industry.
Speaker 4: Are you having these condescending conversations with them? Are you
Speaker 4: saying to them, hey, so you know you get bad anxiety?
Speaker 1: Like are you okay? Fuck you?
Speaker 4: Sorry? But you know that must be so angry and.
Speaker 1: Perfect word for it, it's the more colorful word.
Speaker 4: Yes, sorry, we welcome colorful. There is definitely not always
Speaker 4: an equal thing. I feel like a lot of the
Speaker 4: times in the industry that I work in, and I've
Speaker 4: got to be really careful because I'm still in that
Speaker 4: industry and one day I'm going to write a book,
Speaker 4: but it will literally have to be released the day
Speaker 4: I die because there is so many stories of hypocrisy
Speaker 4: in this industry where the men are allowed to have
Speaker 4: mental health issues. They have time off for those mental
Speaker 4: health issues, and then they all welcome back as the
Speaker 4: superstars they are. But if you're a woman that has
Speaker 4: to have time off for mental health issues, oh, she's
Speaker 4: a bit. Ah, she's a bit what's the word like,
Speaker 4: not a diva, but you know she's a bit out there.
Speaker 4: She's a bit all over the shop. He's all over
Speaker 4: the shop too, And I'm writing number one and he's not.
Speaker 4: So don't you dare say that to me? And it's
Speaker 4: happened so many times, and it's just very frustrating. And
Speaker 4: that's why I feel like there are times when I
Speaker 4: want to just be really honest. And I'm pretty honest
Speaker 4: on my socials. My main feed on Instagram is pretty
Speaker 4: jazz hands. I call it like, Hi, everything's fine, But
Speaker 4: my stories, like, I'm pretty honest, So I usually will go, oh,
Speaker 4: today's not a good day, didn't sleep well last night, menopause,
Speaker 4: hot flashes, anxiety. I don't know whether to go on HRT.
Speaker 4: Do I not bioidentical? I don't know. This is such
Speaker 4: an overwhelming topic for me. I didn't sleep a win
Speaker 4: last night, and I'm honest about that, or that I
Speaker 4: had a panic attack or I try and be really
Speaker 4: honest because I don't want people to think because I
Speaker 4: get messages and you've got such a great life, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, sometimes I do. Sometimes I have a shit life.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I can't get out of bed. Like when I
Speaker 4: found out our radio show was acted, I struggled with
Speaker 4: my mental health. I went on antidepressants. I've weaned off
Speaker 4: them since then because they were making me nauseous, but
Speaker 4: they really worked. This particular brand. I won't say which brands.
Speaker 4: I don't want to give people. You need to go
Speaker 4: and see your doctor and talk to someone about your
Speaker 4: own issues. But this particular antidepressant is a new one
Speaker 4: that's come out that specifically meant to help people with
Speaker 4: ADHD and anxiety. It was fantastic. It really just helped
Speaker 4: me lift the fog. Unfortunately, I reacted and I was
Speaker 4: nauseous all the time and wanting to vomit. So my
Speaker 4: mom myyes, Like I just was like, Okay, we need
Speaker 4: to find something else. So I waned off and I
Speaker 4: haven't gone back on it thing yet. I've just been
Speaker 4: doing yoga, meditation. I've got ADHD medication, which I don't
Speaker 4: always take. I try and remember but yeah, I feel
Speaker 4: like it's important though. I just love this new I
Speaker 4: want to say, this new genre of media women coming
Speaker 4: through that are just so unapologetically honest, and I'm gonna
Speaker 4: say I'm jealous of them because at twenty seven, I
Speaker 4: was like a young I'm going to say Abby Chatfield
Speaker 4: for example, Like I was out there, I was talking
Speaker 4: about sex and dating and I just got squashed. And
Speaker 4: I'm not saying anything negative to those bosses in those
Speaker 4: early days because that was just the way it was, right,
Speaker 4: Like I'm fifty. Back then in nineteen ninety one, you
Speaker 4: did not talk about your orgasms and your vagina on
Speaker 4: the radio, and you didn't. So I was kind of squished,
Speaker 4: and I have been many times since in my career
Speaker 4: because I've quite often worked with men that didn't were
Speaker 4: quite threatened by my shine. And that's okay, that's life
Speaker 4: at showbiz. But I love like I look at them,
Speaker 4: is young social media people coming through, or influences and
Speaker 4: people on air or whatever, and I think, go you.
Speaker 4: I would have loved to have been that honest when
Speaker 4: I was younger.
Speaker 2: And we'll be back in a moment to hear from
Speaker 2: Bianca about the double standard she's come up against throughout
Speaker 2: her career. These cultural shifts don't happen in a vacuum,
Speaker 2: and things have changed so much since the early noughts,
Speaker 2: since the nineties, it's quite gobsmacking sometimes to talk to
Speaker 2: younger women and say the word feminism. I mean, that
Speaker 2: was the worst thing that any woman that wanted to
Speaker 2: get a job be acceptable.
Speaker 4: Can you imagine ever go out with the guy?
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, how do you call yourself a feminist?
Speaker 1: Whereas now we're seeing major Margo Robbie films being made
Speaker 1: about it. It's Diora doing T shirts like it's very
Speaker 1: I don't want to say fashionable in a glib way,
Speaker 1: but it's much more acceptable. The sex positivity has happened,
Speaker 1: so all of those things that you've talked about that
Speaker 1: was a very very In some ways, we may as
Speaker 1: well say that you were having those conversations seventy years
Speaker 1: ago as twenty thirty years ago. But just as with
Speaker 1: so much, it's changed the culture. The sex and the
Speaker 1: City conversation for instance, that really help help change the
Speaker 1: representation of women in the culture.
Speaker 3: You should rightfully feel that you have played.
Speaker 1: A role in paving the way for the women that
Speaker 1: are now speaking unapologetically.
Speaker 4: I have had a few really beautiful messages from women
Speaker 4: in media who you would know that say, hey, I
Speaker 4: listened to you growing up. God, that makes it feel old.
Speaker 4: I listened to you growing up on Nova, and I
Speaker 4: remember one day you came on the radio and you
Speaker 4: had your period and you said, oh my god, my
Speaker 4: uterus feels like it's being booted around a rugby over
Speaker 4: this morning, and they like, I nearly crashed my car.
Speaker 4: I'd never heard anyone say that on the radio before,
Speaker 4: and this is like two thousand and two or something,
Speaker 4: So I guess in a way I was nudging and
Speaker 4: pushing and kind of I was a little I don't
Speaker 4: want to say this in a wanky way. It was
Speaker 4: a little bit of a trailblazer, only because I didn't
Speaker 4: want to just be You had American and also doing breakfast,
Speaker 4: you had the night shows and ugly feel. I didn't
Speaker 4: want to just be the nine till twelve girl that
Speaker 4: just came on and did the traffic in the weather
Speaker 4: and coming up Stamiroquise new song. I wanted to have
Speaker 4: my own show. So I wanted to create that form
Speaker 4: of entertainment, and I wanted to say things that resonated
Speaker 4: with women, and I feel like I did in some
Speaker 4: ways kind of and not just met as many other
Speaker 4: women that trailblazed all that too and just spoke their minds.
Speaker 4: I mean, Wendy Harmer was one of the first who
Speaker 4: I loved and adored. I think it's important, yeah too, Yeah,
Speaker 4: like pay respects to the people that have paved the
Speaker 4: way for you. But it's funny. I now am inspired
Speaker 4: by some of the younger generation of podcasters and stuff
Speaker 4: coming through going.
Speaker 3: CU It can be a two way stream.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm inspired by you and the fact that you
Speaker 4: have no fear. Like I really want to write my show.
Speaker 4: I want to do a book fifty sacked and single.
Speaker 4: I want to do a one woman show. And if
Speaker 4: I say, what are you scared of? Oh my god,
Speaker 4: you're the girl from the radio and this and that
Speaker 4: would do it. And I'm like, these young girls are
Speaker 4: all just doing it. They have no fear. They just
Speaker 4: go out and they're like, I'm starting a podcast, I'm
Speaker 4: doing this, I'm writing a book.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, you're so fearless, and.
Speaker 4: I'm really proud of them, and I'm like, you've been
Speaker 4: fearless too. You can do that again, you can tap
Speaker 4: back into that again. I just feel like at fifty
Speaker 4: it's scary because like you have people saying to you, oh,
Speaker 4: I used to or you used to, and it's like,
Speaker 4: I'm not going anywhere. I'm fifty, but I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 4: Like I feel like this is the beginning of another
Speaker 4: chapter for me. So don't put me in the corner
Speaker 4: because I'm fifty. You know, I've got so much more
Speaker 4: to offer now, got so much more life experience. I
Speaker 4: am much more confident, even though I'm scared of doing
Speaker 4: a one woman show, but that's different because it's just
Speaker 4: me on stage. I'm like terrifying. Yeah, I went off
Speaker 4: on a big tangent. Then scared is.
Speaker 1: Okay because you will still bulldoze through that that feeling
Speaker 1: of being scared.
Speaker 3: So well, yeah you have and you will. Fifty. Sacked
Speaker 3: and single, Oh I love that.
Speaker 4: It's a good topic.
Speaker 3: Let's unpack that a little bit.
Speaker 1: We've talked about being single, so let's talk about being sacked.
Speaker 1: You mentioned earlier that your Gold Coast breakfast radio show was.
Speaker 4: Well what do they shut? Yeah? Then networked it? So yeah,
Speaker 4: Benny and I got related, well, our contracts are up,
Speaker 4: so it was like thanks, but thanks, see you later.
Speaker 4: And you know, it's funny because the listeners were more
Speaker 4: upset for me than I was, because I've been sacked
Speaker 4: a few times now and that showbiz and I mean,
Speaker 4: you know what it's like. I mean in print media, radio, TV,
Speaker 4: you know, when I read stories of people like Jesus
Speaker 4: even like ready listening to Wendy Harmer's new book, and
Speaker 4: Kerry and Kenneley who came to my thirtieth and gave
Speaker 4: me a pair of boxing gloves for my thirtieth birthday
Speaker 4: and said, if you're going to work in the world TV,
Speaker 4: showbies and media, you're going to need these gloves because
Speaker 4: you wouldn't need to be strong. And I've still got them.
Speaker 4: I love her, But even hearing their stories, people like
Speaker 4: that that were so respected and amazing, and other women
Speaker 4: whose names I won't mention, but that have reached out
Speaker 4: to me since I've got sacked and said you'll never
Speaker 4: believe how such and such sacked me. I got taken
Speaker 4: into a room and this, this, this happened, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: holy shit, this is how we treat people in this industry,
Speaker 4: Like this, where's the where's the respect and the thanks
Speaker 4: for the thirty years and you're amazing and I talk
Speaker 4: about anxiety and IVF and miscarriages and all this stuff
Speaker 4: that I've done on air. Where's the thanks for opening
Speaker 4: up your life, your heart, your mind, your soul every day?
Speaker 4: You know, I think? But in saying that, where's the thanks? Also?
Speaker 4: I know in this industry that you live and die
Speaker 4: by the sword. And I understand, like I know with
Speaker 4: what happened with up in Brisbane with Kiss. It's the situation.
Speaker 4: The irony in the karma of getting sacked from that
Speaker 4: show was that I knew I was going to take
Speaker 4: Robin's job before she got the sack, and she knew
Speaker 4: she was coming back to take my job before I
Speaker 4: knew that I was going to get the sack. And
Speaker 4: that's it's shit, right, But it's awful. But it's showbies,
Speaker 4: and it happens in TV, it happens in radio, it
Speaker 4: happens in and I can't get angry because there's not
Speaker 4: one particular person I can get angry at. I feel
Speaker 4: like it's the industry, it's showbies, it's brutal. I signed
Speaker 4: up for this, so I can't get upset that I
Speaker 4: got the sack because for whatever reason, they were going
Speaker 4: in a different direction, and that doesn't get explained to you,
Speaker 4: Like I said, what direction exactly? Do you mean? What direction?
Speaker 4: Is that exactly? A younger direction? No comment? Okay, all right,
Speaker 4: you just have to just got to go Okay, thanks,
Speaker 4: see the next time round.
Speaker 1: I guess it's a great thing to talk openly about
Speaker 1: Bianca because, as you've said, the media industry is particularly
Speaker 1: brutal and ruthless.
Speaker 3: It's the nature of the beast.
Speaker 1: But also there's this added humiliation that everyone else knows
Speaker 1: the news before.
Speaker 4: You, the person.
Speaker 1: Don't exactly, but as this episode is coming out, we're
Speaker 1: hurtling towards the end of a financial year. Australia's in
Speaker 1: the middle of a cost of living crisis. A lot
Speaker 1: of people in the range of industries will be dealing
Speaker 1: with contracting staff, and a lot of people might be
Speaker 1: getting called into ominous HR meetings. We know, when you
Speaker 1: lose your job, there's that immediate economic, financial stability fallout,
Speaker 1: but there's also shame, self doubt where to now. If
Speaker 1: anyone's listening to this and things they might be about
Speaker 1: to hear those words, we're going in a new.
Speaker 4: Different direction, which can happen in any industry, right.
Speaker 1: What would you say to them?
Speaker 4: Let yourself feel it, because I went through a stage
Speaker 4: ros in denial and that just made the grieving process longer.
Speaker 4: And also though I guess it's different for me, and
Speaker 4: that it was so public, so it was all over
Speaker 4: the press and all over the papers and everywhere. And
Speaker 4: in some ways that was lovely because I'd have people
Speaker 4: come up a Ulli's and give me a cuddle and go,
Speaker 4: I miss you and all that, so that's lovely, but
Speaker 4: I feel I was scared to reach out to a
Speaker 4: lot of friends and admit to them just how much
Speaker 4: it had hit me. Don't be afraid to reach out
Speaker 4: to your network, because especially when you're someone if you're
Speaker 4: like me and you're naturally seemingly a confident person, people
Speaker 4: I can't tell you the amount of people and I'm
Speaker 4: talking big names in the industry would message me that
Speaker 4: sounded waky board I meant was going, you'll be fine,
Speaker 4: you'll be picked up, you'll get a gig in no time,
Speaker 4: you'll be on dah da da da da, And I'm like,
Speaker 4: it doesn't always happen that way, mate, It doesn't work
Speaker 4: that way, right. So I feel like that everyone just
Speaker 4: assumed that I was just going to be okay and
Speaker 4: I was going to bounce back. So I think, reach
Speaker 4: out to your networks and say, hey, this is actually
Speaker 4: a lot harder than I thought it was going to be,
Speaker 4: and give yourself if you can give yourself a little
Speaker 4: bit of time to grieve. I was lucky that I
Speaker 4: had some savings put away, so I went to Bali
Speaker 4: for three weeks, very cheap, cheap and cheerful or board,
Speaker 4: lots of screaming self help, you know, screaming you know
Speaker 4: in these women's groups, and lots of yoga and what
Speaker 4: have you. And I found that really cathartic. Not everyone
Speaker 4: can nick off if they've got kids and just go
Speaker 4: away to Barliy for three weeks. And I get that,
Speaker 4: But reach out to your networks, feel it, and don't
Speaker 4: be afraid that maybe the next move this might have
Speaker 4: been a blessing, you know. And I hate that that
Speaker 4: sounds like a cliche, but I've had so many people
Speaker 4: say to me, Bee, I want you to write your book.
Speaker 4: You one mom would show you've got to do a podcast.
Speaker 4: Da da da da Dad. You would never have done
Speaker 4: any of that if you'd stayed in the comfort zone
Speaker 4: of getting up and doing that show every day because
Speaker 4: you were exhausted. And I'm like, you're right. So sometimes
Speaker 4: those HR meetings, even though they are oh my god.
Speaker 4: I remember walking out of it, I wanted to vomit
Speaker 4: and I was like and everyone was just staring at me, like,
Speaker 4: oh what happened. I was like, we're going it's over.
Speaker 4: That show's over, and I was like, but I did.
Speaker 4: It's weird. I still don't take it personally because it's like,
Speaker 4: that's showbies. I didn't see it as a reflection on
Speaker 4: me or my talent, on what I bring to this
Speaker 4: industry or as a radio announcer. And I hope people
Speaker 4: who are getting the sack in lots of different areas
Speaker 4: of that sounds terrible, but what I mean was people,
Speaker 4: if you are having those horrible HR meetings, try not
Speaker 4: to take it personally, which is hard not to, but
Speaker 4: because it might not be about you individually and what
Speaker 4: you're doing. It is a shrinking. This industry particularly is shrinking.
Speaker 4: Lots of industries are shrinking. I'm hearing about so many
Speaker 4: people getting made redundant and laid off, and it is.
Speaker 4: It's scary, so talked with therapists, reach out to your friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's great advice.
Speaker 1: And to not take it personally, I think is an
Speaker 1: important message for all of us to hear, because, as
Speaker 1: you rightfully say, when you're talking about cost cutting and redundancies,
Speaker 1: it's very rarely personal. A number on a spreadsheet and
Speaker 1: even if it feels really awful at the time, could
Speaker 1: be the.
Speaker 3: Little kick that any of us needs. Exactly take the
Speaker 3: new risk.
Speaker 4: To pivot sometimes people. I've heard so many stories of
Speaker 4: women who are like, you know what, if I didn't
Speaker 4: get the sack from that law firm, whatever, I would
Speaker 4: never have taken the risks to go and start doing
Speaker 4: this horse riding thing. Now I run a horse riding
Speaker 4: school and I make a quarter of the money, but
Speaker 4: I am so less stressed and I love my life.
Speaker 4: Like there's lots of beautiful stories, So reach out and
Speaker 4: look for those to inspire you, I think, to get through.
Speaker 3: So let's finish with the fifty.
Speaker 1: Then in the fifty stacked and single, and that really
Speaker 1: into sex. Of course, with everything that we've talked about,
Speaker 1: you've already touched upon starting over and thinking what next
Speaker 1: for me? Professionally? That would look different for you. I imagine
Speaker 1: when you're in your twenties, your thirties, your forties. God, yeah,
Speaker 1: you turned fifty last year. Was that a cause for
Speaker 1: celebration or commiseration?
Speaker 4: A bit of both. I think I feel like I
Speaker 4: have a delayed existential crisis with everything because turning fifty,
Speaker 4: getting diagnosed with ADHD and getting the sack or within
Speaker 4: three months was just a lot to deal with. Am
Speaker 4: I getting the sack because I'm fifty? Am I no
Speaker 4: longer the demographic now? Which doesn't make sense because how
Speaker 4: many men in radio A don't even start me way
Speaker 4: older than me. But as a woman in this industry,
Speaker 4: sometimes they don't see that all those years that you've
Speaker 4: clocked up as an asset. They're like, eh, might get
Speaker 4: in a younger, newer version, whatever it happens. But I
Speaker 4: also feel like I've seen so many girlfriends. I've got
Speaker 4: a beautiful friend of mine going through breast cancer. I've
Speaker 4: seen a lot of girlfriends go through some really hard times,
Speaker 4: and I've also lost a lot of friends. So I
Speaker 4: feel like it's a gift. Without wanting to sound cliched,
Speaker 4: but it really is the gift of being of growing old.
Speaker 4: And I don't think fifty is old. I think it's
Speaker 4: funny because when I first started out in radio, when
Speaker 4: I was twenty one, and I would meet fifty year
Speaker 4: old radi anounces, I'd be like, oh my god, there's dinosaurs,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, that's me now, and we're not dinosaurs.
Speaker 4: We're not. We've got so much more to offer now,
Speaker 4: not more to offer than young people. I'm not saying that,
Speaker 4: but I mean as a human being, I have more
Speaker 4: to offer now. So many fifty year olds. I know
Speaker 4: I have more to offer. And I did have a
Speaker 4: bit of a crisis because I was like, there's not
Speaker 4: a four in front of my number anymore. So from
Speaker 4: forty to forty one, for whatever, up to forty nine.
Speaker 4: I'm in my forties, all of a sudden, it's five zero,
Speaker 4: Like I go to fill out something and I'm like,
Speaker 4: nineteen seventy three. Oh my god, I'm fifty. And I
Speaker 4: want to really just embrace it. And that's why I
Speaker 4: want to do either this stand up show, this one
Speaker 4: woman show, write the book. I really want to help
Speaker 4: other women remember that turning fifty can be literally the
Speaker 4: beginning of an entire new life, Like I am single.
Speaker 4: Who knows we're you don't know what's that great quote?
Speaker 4: There's that great meme? You still the best days, the
Speaker 4: happiest days, and the biggest loves. You know, it might
Speaker 4: still be ahead of you, like could still be ahead
Speaker 4: of you. Like I don't know where I'm going to
Speaker 4: be in two years time. I could be dating some
Speaker 4: beautiful man living in the back of Byron. He's got
Speaker 4: a couple of kids and a dog. I'm doing, I've
Speaker 4: done my book, I've got my one woman show. Like
Speaker 4: I remember when I got sacked from another radio show.
Speaker 4: I remember thinking to myself. I remember actually one of
Speaker 4: the young kids going, oh, your Metro city days are
Speaker 4: over now, aren't they? Like you're a bit of a
Speaker 4: has been now this is this little shit And I
Speaker 4: was like, wow, is he right? Was now in fifty
Speaker 4: I was like thirty eight or something? I was like,
Speaker 4: Oh God, is he right? Is this it for me?
Speaker 4: Is this the end of my career? Is this the
Speaker 4: end of my show? His career? I would never have
Speaker 4: thought that I would get to do the incredible gift
Speaker 4: of doing the Breakfast SHOWT ninety seven throw in Brisbane
Speaker 4: for three years. I absolutely loved it working for Kiss
Speaker 4: it was great. I could never have foreseen that. So
Speaker 4: I just want to like inspire other women to go
Speaker 4: you don't know what's next. Please don't think that just
Speaker 4: because you're five zero you have to start wearing cardigans
Speaker 4: and where comfortable shoes and women I do wear comfortable
Speaker 4: shoes and I do wear cardigans. But you know what
Speaker 4: I mean, your life could be just starting. In fact,
Speaker 4: it is just starting. So please don't look at it
Speaker 4: as it's time to sit in the corner and be quiet,
Speaker 4: because you can definitely start turning up the lights of fifty.
Speaker 4: And we need to just lose that stigma that fifty is,
Speaker 4: you know, out pasture.
Speaker 1: And it has mercifully been changing and one hot woman,
Speaker 1: for instance, like Jennifer Lopez. I can't say how many
Speaker 1: women that we have spoken to it stella something to
Speaker 1: talk about that have cited Jennifer Lopez as being a
Speaker 1: beaver post fifty life. She turns fifty five next month,
Speaker 1: and it's not.
Speaker 3: Just about how she looks.
Speaker 1: It's about her energy and her being at the top
Speaker 1: of her game professionally. And we're not quite sure what's
Speaker 1: happening in j Lo's personal life as.
Speaker 3: You and I recordings.
Speaker 1: I may not be married, but the point is she
Speaker 1: will be fine whatever happens. As you were saying earlier,
Speaker 1: when you were thinking, god, fifty, it did actually look
Speaker 1: older then.
Speaker 3: And again, I'm not just.
Speaker 1: Talking about true botox or anything. It's it's actually everybody
Speaker 1: played into.
Speaker 3: A certain role.
Speaker 1: And when I came now my time is over. I'm
Speaker 1: going to go and move in to help the cardig
Speaker 1: and her love cardigans myself. But you know what we're saying,
Speaker 1: there were certain dowdy kind of being visible. Don't be
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lopez, don't be Bianca Die exactly.
Speaker 4: And you know what I look at You know who
Speaker 4: mine is? I think Jennifer Aniston because she didn't have kids,
Speaker 4: and I look at her and I go, I mean,
Speaker 4: she's fifty four to fifty five too, is the age
Speaker 4: as j Lo is she? I mean, okay, she looks
Speaker 4: after herself, what have you, But she's not lying down
Speaker 4: and taking it and going on fifty. I'm just going
Speaker 4: to go away. And there's just this whole new great
Speaker 4: interviews with all these women who were fifty and over
Speaker 4: saying I remember growing up, fifty was this and fifty
Speaker 4: was that, And Paulina Poroskova does a great thing as
Speaker 4: well on her Instagram about being older and god, I
Speaker 4: love it. I look to them and I go, I
Speaker 4: don't have to be a particular thing. I wear my
Speaker 4: Gazelle sneakers, I wear my I feel like this can
Speaker 4: be the beginning of the next chapter, as opposed to
Speaker 4: closing up, shutting up shop. Literally everywhere. Who knows who
Speaker 4: I'll meet, where I'll be, what I'll do, And I
Speaker 4: feel like it's in some ways social media is exciting
Speaker 4: like that. I think it can also be toxic because
Speaker 4: you can compare yourself to the young ones. But looking
Speaker 4: at some of the women who are on there, like
Speaker 4: the Jennifer Andison's and the j Low's and what have you,
Speaker 4: and going, oh my god, they're not giving up anytime soon.
Speaker 4: They're just they're going to keep powering. They're going to
Speaker 4: keep doing what they're doing. And I know it sounds
Speaker 4: again cliche, but I hate it is just a number.
Speaker 1: If the rumors are true and Jennifer Lopez finds herself
Speaker 1: single again at fifty five, what dating advice would Bianca
Speaker 1: have for her? We'll be back in a moment to
Speaker 1: find out. Let's just say that our patrons say, Jennifer
Speaker 1: Lopez is single, What would your advice be to her?
Speaker 1: Should she go on the dating apps? Does she come
Speaker 1: to a Bianca die singles night, or does she just
Speaker 1: send some voice messages?
Speaker 4: I would say I would love to hear Jennifer Lopez
Speaker 4: voice message. Can you imagine being a fly on the
Speaker 4: wall with what she'd say to Ben? It's I think
Speaker 4: it's a little different, though, because when you're dealing with
Speaker 4: someone like j Low, because she's so famous, she can't
Speaker 4: date like normal people, right, Like, how does she meet someone?
Speaker 4: Of course she has to date someone like Ben Affleck,
Speaker 4: or of course she has. I didn't know what they
Speaker 4: look on the brink.
Speaker 3: Well, it's it's unconfirmed. As we're chatting.
Speaker 1: They're just under constant speculation.
Speaker 3: People.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm not they were together please and maybe they
Speaker 1: will be. I'm also barracking for them, but really it's
Speaker 1: certainly a conversation at the moment they're on, you.
Speaker 3: Know, forty seven days apart.
Speaker 4: In all of this, I think as a woman that's fifty,
Speaker 4: that's single. My advice to other women who are single
Speaker 4: at the sage is the beautiful parties. I own who
Speaker 4: I am now, I really do. I know. I come
Speaker 4: with the occasional panic attack, a bit of anxiety. I'm
Speaker 4: a little bit outspoken sometimes sometimes I want to I
Speaker 4: make plans and then I change my mind at the
Speaker 4: last minute and I want to stay home in my
Speaker 4: jarmis because I've got ADHD and I just want to
Speaker 4: stay home. I come with a lot of different stuff,
Speaker 4: but I'm open and I'm honest about it. And I
Speaker 4: think the beautiful part about getting older is you own that.
Speaker 4: Because I also know that I have some amazing, great
Speaker 4: qualities as well to offer, and I'm happy to go.
Speaker 4: Here's all the good stuff, here's all the shit stuff.
Speaker 4: There you go. What do you think? Let me know,
Speaker 4: because I'm not gonna lie. I'm not going to pretend
Speaker 4: to be someone I'm not. I did that for a
Speaker 4: long time in many relationships, in many jobs, I had
Speaker 4: to pretend to be something I wasn't. I'm not doing
Speaker 4: that anymore. This is just this is who I am,
Speaker 4: as long as I'm a good person, as long as
Speaker 4: I'm not being an a whole you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: It's all very well to say be yourself. I like,
Speaker 4: be yourself as long as you're not an asshole. Don't
Speaker 4: be an asshole, be a good human and be yourself
Speaker 4: and get out there. And don't think that I love
Speaker 4: seeing I get inspired by seeing these women like Jayla
Speaker 4: who were if she's single and she's back out dating.
Speaker 4: I love that in the sense that well, I don't
Speaker 4: love it because I love them being together, but it's inspired.
Speaker 4: Of course, you can meet someone at fifty six. You
Speaker 4: can meet someone at sixty. Like, life is full of surprises.
Speaker 4: Who knows what's around the corner. Don't get caught up
Speaker 4: on I didn't meet the love of my life at
Speaker 4: thirty and have three kids and I own a holiday
Speaker 4: house in Berry and whatever. Like sometimes life doesn't go
Speaker 4: to plan, and that is the beautiful part. That's the
Speaker 4: best part, that it doesn't go to plan because something
Speaker 4: better might be coming up for you.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure that it is for all of us.
Speaker 1: And look forward to hearing the next chapter of fifty
Speaker 1: Sacked and single. You have to come back fifty one
Speaker 1: sack yesh fifty one highly employed and in what's space?
Speaker 4: Fifty one employed and you know, having fabulous sex with
Speaker 4: somebody that's awesome. I don't know, sounds.
Speaker 1: Cool, it sounds perfect, Bianker Died, thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Being so open and honest with us on this episode
Speaker 1: is something to talk about. Maybe you could take some
Speaker 1: clips and put them away for voice messages.
Speaker 3: I think idea.
Speaker 1: Would make some really lovely voice messages.
Speaker 4: I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 1: And you can follow Bianca's journey of being fifty sacked
Speaker 1: and single at Bianca Die and we will have a
Speaker 1: link to her Instagram account in our show notes.
Speaker 4: Thanks for having me. It was nice to have an open,
Speaker 4: honest chat like this. I don't get to do it
Speaker 4: that often anymore, so a total pleasure.
Speaker 1: And we'll also have a link to the column that
Speaker 1: you wrote yestay in our show notes as well.
Speaker 4: I'm curious to know what people think love or hate
Speaker 4: the voice message. Let me know at Pierka Die on Instagram.
Speaker 4: I'm happy to hear your honest voice message. Send me
Speaker 4: a voice.
Speaker 2: Message and thank you for joining me for this episode.
Speaker 1: Is something to talk about. I hope you enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: Make sure you've hit that follow button because we'll be
Speaker 2: back in your feed with a new episode next week.
Speaker 4: Dutt must Patt