WEBVTT - Bianca Dye: Fifty, sacked and single 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:09.320 Hello, and welcome to Something to talk About. I'm Sarah 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:10.720 La Marquin, editor and chip. 0:00:10.680 --> 0:00:13.600 Ri Stella and your host who the radio presented. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.840 Biancha Die is no stranger to tackling taboos and staring 0:00:17.880 --> 0:00:18.680 down stigma. 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:22.040 After all, she's been doing it since back when feminism 0:00:22.160 --> 0:00:22.400 was a. 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:26.520 Dirty word, particularly in the then male dominated world of radio. 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:29.840 But her new era, a chapter of her life she 0:00:29.920 --> 0:00:33.880 describes as fifty, sacked and single, is seeing her having 0:00:33.920 --> 0:00:39.000 to stare down even more stereotypes. So she navigates mental health, unemployment, 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:40.760 and the dating pool. 0:00:40.520 --> 0:00:42.120 As a woman in her fifties. 0:00:42.680 --> 0:00:45.360 There was never a dull moment when Bianca joined me 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:47.720 in the studio today to discuss. 0:00:47.360 --> 0:00:49.000 All of this and much more. 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:50.239 And while I. 0:00:50.280 --> 0:00:53.360 May have inadvertently scared her by asking if she ever 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:56.880 worries about men she's dated playing her infamous voice messages 0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:59.840 to their friends at the pub, she in turn managed 0:00:59.840 --> 0:01:03.240 to convince me that her recently sending a seven minute 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:06.360 voice message to one such man was in fact a 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:09.720 very smart move. Let's see if she convinces you too, 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:13.000 Bianca Die, Welcome to Something to talk about. 0:01:13.120 --> 0:01:15.560 Hello, beautiful Ferret, so good to be here. 0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:18.039 It's lovely to have you here, Lovely to have you 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:21.080 in Sydney. Normally, of course, you're based in the Gold Coast, 0:01:21.160 --> 0:01:24.720 so you have braved the chilly weather in the Southern 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:28.760 States because it is the first week oh go, first 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:33.200 weekend of winter. So welcome they brighten things up now, Bianca. 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:36.319 You wrote a column for this week's issue of Stella 0:01:36.400 --> 0:01:39.920 where you reveal that you recently left a seven minute 0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:43.200 voice message for a man you were supposed to go 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:48.200 on a date with. Seven minutes what I know and 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:49.840 then what happened next? 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:53.400 You know what? As I say in the article, I 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:55.840 really think when you bring up the voice message with people, 0:01:56.080 --> 0:02:00.360 they are so split. People like either I can feel 0:02:00.360 --> 0:02:02.040 them like even getting hair and makeup today for the 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:04.080 shit like when you start talking about it, people either 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:06.440 prickle up like you can feel them prickling, like oh god, 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:09.720 this is a voice message person, or they're like, oh 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:11.959 my god, are't they great? Like I feel like there's 0:02:12.000 --> 0:02:13.680 two people in the world. You either love them or 0:02:13.720 --> 0:02:18.600 you hate them. And I honestly feel I'm a people person, 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:22.520 like I've been in SHOWV since I was sixteen years old, radio, TV, 0:02:22.919 --> 0:02:26.360 acting whatever. Marilyn Monroe impersonator, whatever it was. I'm a 0:02:26.400 --> 0:02:30.040 people person, and I honestly feel that the nuances that 0:02:30.080 --> 0:02:34.480 you have in your voice, like you can't reply as 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:36.679 someone that speaks for a living on the radio. Although 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:38.120 it sound like a drag que at the moment, sorry 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:42.920 getting over a respiratory infection, I feel that what you 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:46.320 can convey in a voice message, with your voice and 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:50.200 your nuances and how you say it, is so much 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:52.399 more powerful than just a text. So if I'd sent 0:02:52.520 --> 0:02:54.920 this guy a text for starters, it would have been 0:02:54.919 --> 0:02:56.720 war and Peace. It would have been the longest text 0:02:56.760 --> 0:02:57.200 in the history. 0:02:57.400 --> 0:03:00.399 Because if you transcribe seven minute voice message and we're 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:02.840 in tens of thousands of words, aren't we really first 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:04.200 chapter of your next novel? 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:06.880 Yet? We really are? So? And I wanted him to 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:10.000 hear because it was I'm going through a lot of 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:11.519 things at the moment that I think a lot of 0:03:11.560 --> 0:03:15.079 fifty year old or middle aged women are. Our show 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:17.840 got acced at the end of last year. I'm having 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:19.800 to pivot in the middle of my life. It's exciting, 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:22.680 but it's terrifying. I've got an elderly mother that I'm 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:24.600 a sole career for because I don't have brothers and 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:29.320 sisters from that marriage, being single, going through stuff, This 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:31.440 is so much going on, and I wanted him to 0:03:31.600 --> 0:03:36.040 hear in my voice that it genuinely wasn't him, that 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:38.720 I've just got a lot going on, And so I 0:03:38.760 --> 0:03:41.320 sent this. Literally, I was like, thank you for listening 0:03:41.360 --> 0:03:45.600 to my ted talk. I said it, and it worked 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.160 because he genuinely he sent me one back. 0:03:49.880 --> 0:03:51.080 He said, you a voice message? 0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:53.280 Yeah, and he said I was his voice messy. He 0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:57.480 was so nice. But the thing was, he said, I've 0:03:57.520 --> 0:03:59.240 never done this before, and what I love. 0:04:00.040 --> 0:04:00.480 I love it. 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:03.080 I guess like dopamine rush when I convert people to 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:06.320 the VM because when they message me and they go, okay, 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:08.400 I have never done one of these before, Banka die 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:10.240 and you are the only person I'm going to do 0:04:10.280 --> 0:04:11.920 a voice message for. All right, here we go. So 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:13.760 hate the sound of my own voice, but here we go. 0:04:14.000 --> 0:04:15.840 And I guess because I'm a radio an auncer, I'm 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:17.920 used to hearing my voice, so I don't worry about 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:21.360 how it sounds. But I love converting people. So when 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:24.040 he said I've never sent a voice message before, I 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:27.080 was like, Oh, I'm proud of you. Well done. And 0:04:27.120 --> 0:04:30.680 he said thank you because he said I could hear 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:35.320 in your voice just how genuinely you meant what you said, 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:38.400 and that it really wasn't me, because he said, if 0:04:38.440 --> 0:04:40.360 you'd sent that as a text, I would have felt rejected. 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.479 I would have felt like shit. I would have felt like, ah, 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:45.880 she's making up excuses. This is all bullshit. For me, 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:49.120 he said, I heard in your voice, and there was 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:51.240 probably moments when my voice might have cracked because I 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:53.800 was like my mom and I'm dealing with this and that. 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:58.039 And he just said thank you, and I went, oh, see, 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:02.920 they do work. But I've worked with people who literally 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:07.240 have said to me, I think the voice message is 0:05:07.640 --> 0:05:09.720 for selfish people that just love the sound of their 0:05:09.720 --> 0:05:12.560 own voice because it's very one way and it's just 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:14.679 so typical of you be anker, because it's just something 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:17.160 you do. You just send a voice message and then 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:19.120 you put the phone away and you don't think about it. 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:21.000 You know, I've said my piece, and. 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:24.480 It's like I didn't realize it was this polarizing. Can 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:26.400 you be a little bit of both When you say 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:30.120 there's people that are subscribers to the voice message and 0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:32.679 then people that are texts, can you can you jump 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:34.120 between the two platforms. 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:37.200 I think you can. I think I definitely do both. 0:05:37.920 --> 0:05:40.320 I'll give a classic example. I've got a beautiful Bessie 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:41.920 of mine. She lives in Melbourne, she's got two kids, 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:45.600 lives out on a farm. She's busy. I normally were 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:48.719 doing Brecky radio for fourteen years. I lead crazy hours 0:05:48.800 --> 0:05:51.000 up at four fifteen. This might go for a nap, 0:05:51.360 --> 0:05:53.719 go to the gym, do this, write an article. Whatever 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:59.320 we lead such separate time schedules. I almost feel that 0:05:59.440 --> 0:06:02.159 it's more selfish of me to expect that when I 0:06:02.240 --> 0:06:04.840 ring her, she's going to pick up, because you know what, 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:07.200 She's in woolies and she's getting the groceries for the kids, 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.400 and I'll piank's ringing, Oh, I don't have time to 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:11.560 chat to you right now. But when she sees a 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:14.080 voice message come through, she goes. I get this little 0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:16.520 smile on my face because I go, I'm going to 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:18.360 get a b die update. I'm going to find out 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:20.239 what's going on in the world of dating, what's happening, 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:22.720 what happened with the job, what this? That that? And 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:26.240 she will listen to it when it suits her. So 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.719 to me, I actually feel like I'm not being selfish 0:06:28.720 --> 0:06:31.039 because I'm not ringing her going expecting her to pick 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.120 up at whenever I'm leaving her a voice message. We've 0:06:34.120 --> 0:06:37.039 got an unwritten rule. She will listen to it when 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:39.000 she's good and ready. What take two days for her 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:40.839 to get to that voice message. She will listen to 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:43.760 my little mini podcast, and then she as she's driving 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:46.279 around school pick up whatever, she'll send me one back. 0:06:46.680 --> 0:06:48.600 And so that way we have managed to maint I 0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:51.400 don't think we've actually spoken on the phone and had 0:06:51.400 --> 0:06:53.559 a two way conversation in twelve months. 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:55.720 That will be interesting when you do, won't it, Because 0:06:55.720 --> 0:06:57.120 you'd be like, oh, wait a minute, Wait a minute, 0:06:57.200 --> 0:06:57.720 this is live. 0:06:58.160 --> 0:06:58.799 You're speaking. 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:00.359 Oh that's right, I've got to stop wait for you 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:03.040 to talk. Okay, Sorry. But I actually think there is 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:05.000 a place for the voice message. I think it can 0:07:05.040 --> 0:07:07.440 be really powerful, And I understand a lot of people 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:10.320 don't like them, but I just think they're not going anywhere, 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:12.200 So I feel like people just need to get used 0:07:12.200 --> 0:07:13.160 to them and embrace it. 0:07:14.160 --> 0:07:17.680 Specifically, in the world of dating, everything whether it's the 0:07:18.280 --> 0:07:23.800 technology through to the nature of how you met, whether 0:07:23.840 --> 0:07:27.680 it's on a dating app or in real life. There's 0:07:27.680 --> 0:07:31.080 always that risk, especially in those initial stages of meeting 0:07:31.160 --> 0:07:33.320 somewhere where you really don't know. Am I dealing with 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:36.040 the total psychopath? Am I dealing with somebody that could 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:38.560 be the love of my life, the best person ever 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:40.360 that's just been waiting for me? Or could I be 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:42.600 someone in the middle who's going to be okay but 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:46.080 then probably goes me. I think some people listening, maybe 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:48.920 especially women, would think there's a risk that if you 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:52.360 send a voice message that it's going to get broadcast and. 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:56.400 Played for his mates down at the pub. Did that 0:07:56.480 --> 0:07:57.200 cross your mind? 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:59.360 You know, I've never thought of okay. I haven't ever 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:01.640 thought of no, no, no. But it's funny you say that, 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.400 because I never think of the men sit playing them 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:07.000 to their friends. But I know that I've got girlfriends 0:08:07.040 --> 0:08:09.080 who will message me and go, is this an R 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:10.680 rated one? Are we going to hear what happened when 0:08:10.680 --> 0:08:13.160 the guy came back? Or not? Because I've got little 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.440 ears in the back, the little is here this one 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:18.040 or not? So I now learn, because I don't have kids, 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:20.880 that there are some some of my little voice messages 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:22.240 that I have to put They have to come with 0:08:22.280 --> 0:08:26.000 a little like exclamating yes, this is R rated, do 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:28.280 not listen with the four year old in the back seat. 0:08:28.680 --> 0:08:31.280 I had not actually thought about a guy playing that 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:35.120 to a friend. But I don't mind, because I guess 0:08:35.160 --> 0:08:37.640 I would never say anything to a guy that I 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:40.720 don't know that well for just dating that I probably 0:08:40.720 --> 0:08:44.679 wouldn't that I would worry me, as in, that's going 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:46.680 to come back and haunt me. God if I started 0:08:46.720 --> 0:08:48.080 worrying about that, So can you imagine? 0:08:48.160 --> 0:08:51.000 Well, I certainly didn't mean to plannominous thoughts. 0:08:51.160 --> 0:08:52.360 You don't meet in your mind? 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:55.280 Oh my god, I mentioned technology and where people meet. 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.200 There's been a bit of discussion lately that the dating. 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.559 Apps are over. That's what a lot? Are they? 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:04.840 Dating expert says, Please, uh, what about you? Are you 0:09:05.040 --> 0:09:06.959 on the dating apps? Do you think that. 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:09.319 They're still a thing? And if they are. 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:12.600 Going the way of the Dodo headed for extinction? 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:17.040 Is that a blessed relief or is that a real loss? 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:20.360 Okay, here's my thought on that. It is a blessed relief. 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:24.120 I absolutely despise being on the dating apps, but where 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:27.200 do we go to meet them? Like I, especially when 0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.480 I was doing rerecky radio. And now I'm fifty. I 0:09:29.480 --> 0:09:31.319 don't go to bars. I don't hang out. It's not 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:33.360 like my thirties when I was at a nov in 0:09:33.400 --> 0:09:35.400 Sydney and we'd go out to bars and hang out 0:09:35.440 --> 0:09:38.040 in nightclubs and you'd meet people. I'm a bit of 0:09:38.040 --> 0:09:41.760 a nana. I'm watching Baby Reindeer, I'm in my Jami's, 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:45.480 I'm writing, I'm doing whatever. I'm going to forty five 0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.000 early in the morning or whatever. I'm not Maybe I 0:09:48.040 --> 0:09:50.400 should try and meet someone there. Where do you meet people? 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:52.640 So I've been pitching actually to a couple of big 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:54.880 venues up on the Gold Coast, a singles night for 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:58.120 over forty fives that I host or over forties, because 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:00.760 I've had so many women reach out to me on 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:03.240 my Instagram or whatever. Going Bee, I'm your age too. 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:06.080 I've just come out of a twenty year marriage. Where 0:10:06.080 --> 0:10:09.400 do I go? The apps are it is a swamp? 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:11.360 And I say that with love because I'm on there, 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:13.920 But it is a swamp. I just got ghosted by 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:18.320 a guy who's like almost my age was messaging me 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:20.320 every day, so we moved from the app onto text 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:23.400 messaging me every day morning beautiful. How's your day? Dida da? 0:10:23.920 --> 0:10:26.480 Gone ghosted? And I called him out because I'm like, 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:29.920 I am no, I'm a fifty year old You are 0:10:30.040 --> 0:10:32.360 not ghosting me. No, this is not happening. So I 0:10:32.440 --> 0:10:34.600 messaged him and I said, so is this what's happening? 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:37.680 Am I being ghosted? Because it's been four days and 0:10:37.720 --> 0:10:39.320 he's like, no, No, I've just been really busy. And 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:41.600 I said, that's no, one's that busy. You were messaging 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:45.480 me morning and night. Morning beautiful, how's her day? Night gorgeous? 0:10:45.480 --> 0:10:47.400 How are you feeling da da dah. I'm like, you've 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:51.720 definitely ghosted me. Just have the balls to say I've 0:10:51.720 --> 0:10:53.480 had it happen where I've been really into a guy 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:56.839 for a few weeks and then goneh I don't know. 0:10:56.880 --> 0:10:59.000 I just don't know. If he's got four kids, he 0:10:59.040 --> 0:11:00.880 lives in Brisbane. I don't think we're going to get 0:11:00.880 --> 0:11:03.360 to see each other. But I at least politely will 0:11:03.400 --> 0:11:07.120 say hey, I'm just gonna be really honest, and even 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.599 if I make something up, like my therapist said, I 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.120 shouldn't be dating right now, or my mum's a lot 0:11:12.120 --> 0:11:13.920 of work at the moment, which is not always but 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:16.280 sometimes I just don't have time for this right now. 0:11:16.559 --> 0:11:20.439 Just say something, be polite. I think ghosting is for cowards. 0:11:20.480 --> 0:11:22.800 I think it's horrible. It's like, come on, have the 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:26.400 and to me, my girlfriends always say dodgeable, because if 0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:27.760 he's the kind of guy that's going to ghost you 0:11:27.760 --> 0:11:30.640 and not at least say hey, sorry, I'm going through 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:32.040 a bit at the moment, the ex is giving me 0:11:32.040 --> 0:11:34.199 a hard time. The kids are doing this, that's happening. 0:11:35.200 --> 0:11:37.839 I get it. I'm a human being. Well, we're all 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.240 going through our shit. Just at least be the kind 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:42.440 of human that says I can't do this. I think 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:44.800 ghosting is for cowards. So the thing with the apps 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:47.160 is you can hide behind the apps. And also the 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.040 thing I miss meeting people in real life because then 0:11:50.040 --> 0:11:53.559 there's that instant chemistry right where there's either I like you, 0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:56.000 this guy's you don't look like the kind of guy 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:58.520 that I normally day, but you've got that amazing personality, 0:11:58.559 --> 0:12:01.120 and then you click and I've matched with the hottest 0:12:01.160 --> 0:12:03.560 looking dudes that are the biggest decades and I'm like, 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:05.120 oh my god, if I'd meet you in person, I 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:08.880 would have sniffed that in two seconds. I've wasted three 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:12.079 weeks of backwards and forwards using all my good gear 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:15.160 funny material when I'm joking, but you know, it's exhausting 0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:17.959 backwards and forwards getting to know people, and sometimes you've 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:20.400 got two or three conversations going at once because you do. 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:23.040 I think the question that you are where do you 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:27.040 meet people is actually quite a cross generational one because 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:29.439 when you say, oh, I'm a nana, I don't really 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:33.560 go out in this post COVID era, that's actually quite 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:36.760 common among a lot of people from Gen Z all 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:42.480 the way through to millennials gen X boomers. Also, as 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:46.480 you're talking about the way that dating apps have exacerbated 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:50.040 this culture of ghosting because there's not that in person accountability, 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:51.800 it's also how to trickle down effects. 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:53.160 So even if people. 0:12:52.920 --> 0:12:56.560 Are meeting in real life, there's now anecdotes about people 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:58.840 then saying well you on the dating apps because you know, 0:12:58.880 --> 0:13:01.320 maybe we could meet there, and it's like, but we're 0:13:01.400 --> 0:13:05.079 here now, Oh my god, have a drink now or 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.800 swas so swap. It's a great idea what you're talking 0:13:08.840 --> 0:13:11.960 about setting up that sort of that real life mixer 0:13:12.120 --> 0:13:15.400 or singles night, because I mean old question so many 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:18.200 people are asking, but maybe there's a place for old School. 0:13:18.240 --> 0:13:20.679 And if there is a movement away from the apps, 0:13:21.200 --> 0:13:22.640 then what is the solution? 0:13:22.760 --> 0:13:26.520 It is quote, un where are meeting? Where are we meeting? 0:13:26.600 --> 0:13:29.680 Like I, you know, I'm at Woolies? Am I going 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:31.080 to meet you at Woolies? Am I going to meet you? 0:13:31.200 --> 0:13:32.600 I don't have kids, so there's not I'm not going 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:34.280 to be hanging out at the school pickup looking at 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.640 the single hot dads. And you'd think someone like me 0:13:37.679 --> 0:13:40.480 who works in entertainment, I'm usually hosting events or doing 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:42.400 stuff for what have you. I am out and about, 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:44.920 but I'm not meeting guys when I'm mountain about. They're not. 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:46.559 Like I hosted a fashion parade the other day on 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:48.560 the Old Guys. It was just all women, you know, 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.400 And I sort of sat up there and went, anyone 0:13:51.480 --> 0:13:53.800 got any hot sons? Anyone brothers? 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:54.240 You know? 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:56.920 Hell? I was about to say sisters. No, I was like, 0:13:57.040 --> 0:13:58.760 where do you go to meet people? And when I 0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:01.920 pitched this old School It's funny actually because I pitched 0:14:01.960 --> 0:14:04.040 it as a dating night, as singles night. But someone 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:06.000 said to me, and I'm a hypocrite because I got 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:09.240 invited to a speed dating night last week and I 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:12.040 was like, no, And I know this is going to 0:14:12.120 --> 0:14:14.400 sound wanky, and I don't mean this in it's a 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:17.400 little bit different when you've got a profile. And I've 0:14:17.440 --> 0:14:19.760 spoken to other girlfriends of mine in radio and TV 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:23.320 who are single or dating, and I'm like, it's a 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.480 little hard. Like for a while there, I was on 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:27.840 billboards all over the Gold Coast. And I'm not saying 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.080 that to be a wanker. It's just I work in media. 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:32.480 You get media thirty years. 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:34.000 Of course you have a profile. 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:36.680 If that brings complications, it does. 0:14:36.640 --> 0:14:39.120 Because I've had guys seriously just want to go on 0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:40.320 a date with me, because I want to go back 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:42.800 and tell all the other guys on the trading site. 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:44.280 You know that chick that we used to listen to 0:14:44.320 --> 0:14:46.320 on CFM, I went out on a date with her, 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:48.640 Like I know for a fact that they've confessed that 0:14:48.800 --> 0:14:50.760 to me. They're like, well, I've always wanted to meet you. 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.600 Really, Okay, So that's what this is all about. 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.200 I Also a hard thing for me too, is that 0:14:59.040 --> 0:15:00.400 this is what I was about the guy that goes 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:02.960 to me. I said to my girlfriend, if he googles me. 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:07.800 I'm stuffed, Like you put my name into Google. There's like, 0:15:09.080 --> 0:15:11.240 I mean, a few years ago, an article that was 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.160 meant to be four pages back was obviously a slow 0:15:13.200 --> 0:15:17.760 news day front page career mail. This big me and 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:20.920 my ex, and the headline is I love you, babe, 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:24.120 but I want my ex's baby. Brilliant headline. It was 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:27.720 because I had frozen embryos with an ex. Brilliant. Oh 0:15:27.720 --> 0:15:30.600 my god. It was one of that like every oh 0:15:30.600 --> 0:15:32.560 my god, but that comes up when you google me. 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.760 So but not just that, but me doing a Honeybird 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:38.080 debt shoot for this a fun night I had with 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:41.040 Russell Brand a long time ago, long before he got canceled. 0:15:41.160 --> 0:15:43.280 Nothing happened. But you know what I mean, you google 0:15:43.320 --> 0:15:45.800 my name, all this stuff comes up, and it's like, 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:49.800 I guess, if you're just an average lovely dude who 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:53.200 works you know wherever, you google me and you go, 0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:56.720 holy shit, that comes there's a lot there. I don't 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:59.600 know if I can handle that. So I get it, 0:15:59.680 --> 0:16:03.480 but I think, yeah, dating with the profile, it's not 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:05.560 normal dating because as soon as they find out what 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:07.920 I do, it changes everything. 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:10.120 How do you navigate that? Then? 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:13.800 Have you had a situation where you could see somebody 0:16:13.840 --> 0:16:17.480 has clearly obtained one piece of information, whether it's about 0:16:17.480 --> 0:16:20.840 your personal life or something that's happened professionally, and it's 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:24.760 maybe coloring the questions that they're asking, and do you 0:16:24.880 --> 0:16:27.000 just then sort of tackle it and go, okay, let's 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:31.200 just swap some stories. You know, you tell me about 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:32.440 some of your things, and I'm going to tell you 0:16:32.480 --> 0:16:34.120 about some of my things, knowing that they might have 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:35.000 already found it on. 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:37.040 That's good, I say to them, because I say, this 0:16:37.080 --> 0:16:39.240 is really unfair. Because one guy went, I googled you, 0:16:39.320 --> 0:16:41.040 and he goes, just so you know, I don't want 0:16:41.040 --> 0:16:43.640 to have any more kids, and I went, well, I'm 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:46.440 forty nine and I've given up on that. I've done 0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:48.440 the whole IVF journey. I'm not having any more kids either, 0:16:49.640 --> 0:16:51.720 and I'm not having any I'm not having any kids. 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:53.720 I'm not trying for any more kids. I was a stepmom, whatever, 0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:56.160 I'm not trying four kids at all anymore. It's all good. 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:58.680 And I said to him, we've never even had that conversation. 0:16:58.720 --> 0:17:00.160 Why would you even say that? And he's like, oh, 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:03.120 it's just that, you know, when I googled you. There's 0:17:03.160 --> 0:17:05.520 all these IVF stories and you tried and whatever, and 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:06.640 I'm just want to let you know that I don't 0:17:06.640 --> 0:17:08.240 want to have anymore, so if you want to keep trying, 0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:10.360 And I was like, okay, I really appreciate your honesty, 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:14.560 but it's okay. Thank you for saying that, but I'm 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:17.840 not still trying anymore. So nice, And I also say 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:21.240 to them, this is what's really hard. You've googled me. 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:24.119 You can read my entire Wikipedia page. You know, my 0:17:24.200 --> 0:17:26.679 career from when I started out as a Marilyn Monroe 0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:29.680 personator when I was nineteen to you know, kiss FM, 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:32.080 to this that you can read my whole life online. 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:35.760 I said, it feels really unfair. So yeah, that, like 0:17:35.800 --> 0:17:38.359 you just said, you need to tell me. You need 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.520 to tell me a lot more about yourself, because right 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:44.000 now this is a very uneven load. And you're coming 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:46.760 in with loaded questions thinking that you know me, but 0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:48.399 you don't know me. You don't know me. You just 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:51.480 know what you've read in you know, whatever, daily email 0:17:51.600 --> 0:17:52.440 or whatever, and. 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:56.520 Your experience would obviously be very specific in that what 0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:59.080 we've just talked about. There's all of these different stories 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:04.040 about you. Online, But there is a universal chord here 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:05.960 I think that a lot of people would relate to, 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:10.040 which is everyone is doing a deep dive on somebody. 0:18:10.160 --> 0:18:13.760 They're doing a social media stalking. So there would be 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.280 a lot of people meeting up for that first coffee 0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:19.080 or that first dinner and actually coming in with a 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:22.000