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Speaker 1: Apoject Production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Secrets of the Underworld. I am Neil the

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Speaker 2: Muscle comments and in this episode, I speak with Leah Barco,

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Speaker 2: survivor of the Westfield Bond Die stabbings.

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Speaker 1: I remember everything slowly, but it's happening in seconds. I

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Speaker 1: remember feeling like someone crushed on my body and I

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Speaker 1: realized he was the person who crushing my body. I'm

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Speaker 1: not panicking. I was trying to give that feeling to

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Speaker 1: people who were around me. I'm really tired of being

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Speaker 1: her survival. I'm really tired.

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Speaker 2: Before we begin and get you know that event that happened,

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Speaker 2: I wanted to get to know you as a person,

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to go and ask you questions about

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Speaker 2: growing up. You know, come out. You came up to

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Speaker 2: Australian like that. So let's start from when you were

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Speaker 2: a child with your family. Get to know user person

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Speaker 2: before we get to know thetys Storry.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I haven't burned in Ukraine, so I'm Ukrainian and

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Speaker 1: I live in Ukraine nine years so when I was

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Speaker 1: nine years old, my family decided to move to Argentina.

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Speaker 1: I don't have all the details why they decide to move.

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Speaker 1: They tried to move to another countries, and for some

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Speaker 1: reason they just decided the first country who answered positively,

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Speaker 1: they just take the flight and go. And one of

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Speaker 1: the possibility was go to the United States, Canada and

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Speaker 1: Australia and also Argentina, and sadly Argentina was the first

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Speaker 1: place you answer positively. Then I remember after years, maybe

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Speaker 1: two three years, where after Argentina, my sister she goes

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Speaker 1: and she said, you have like for my family, for

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Speaker 1: my parents, positive answer from Canada and Australia. But we

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Speaker 1: were already Yeah, so my nine years in Ukraine, that's my.

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Speaker 2: What was it like going as like you're nine years old,

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Speaker 2: nine years old when you went, Yes, what was that

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Speaker 2: like like to go that far? Like I know what

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Speaker 2: was like for me to leaving England and I was

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Speaker 2: I was eighteen, but like nine years old to go

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Speaker 2: to another country that's on the other side of the world.

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Speaker 1: I was up for you painful. You just go from

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Speaker 1: one place to another, you living everything you know to

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Speaker 1: a new country, new culture, new language and also new environment.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes kids can be rude, so bullying it was

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Speaker 1: the first reaction, like like when they welcome you, sometimes

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Speaker 1: some people wilcome you warm, but then so at least

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Speaker 1: in my case, I have been bullying a lot in school,

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Speaker 1: mostly in primary school. Yes, different language, different culture, different

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Speaker 1: way to dress to react, so it was painful. But

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Speaker 1: for me it was hard being in Argentina because in

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Speaker 1: Ukraine I grew up with small town and my grandmother

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Speaker 1: she was living nearby. I don't remember her well because

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Speaker 1: she passed away when I was maybe four years old

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Speaker 1: or five, but she has cows, chicken and stuff like

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Speaker 1: small farm. So mostly all our free time with my

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Speaker 1: brothers and my sister, we just spent in nature with animals.

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Speaker 1: So it was different because we moved to a big

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Speaker 1: city with all the cars, all the traffic, all the

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Speaker 1: big buildings, and you were living in just one house

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Speaker 1: with a small park, no small part, just like you know,

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Speaker 1: after that freedom we had just moved to another country.

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Speaker 1: It was it was painful because I feel in that

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Speaker 1: moment I just lost my freedom.

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Speaker 2: Sounds like you didn't enjoy it? No, no, no, didn't

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Speaker 2: like did you make friends straight away? Or was that hard?

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Speaker 1: It was hard because at least in my case, I

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Speaker 1: feel like, you know, like some weird toy because the

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Speaker 1: girls who were fighting, who if I sit near them

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Speaker 1: on another place and they were pushing me on, fighting

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Speaker 1: I will keep her here, No, I will like her,

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Speaker 1: have her here. And you feel like you're not a human,

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Speaker 1: You're just like a toy, just something weird in school

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Speaker 1: and some kids just fighting between them to have you.

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Speaker 1: Just like what did.

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Speaker 2: Your brother did your brothers like they settled or they

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Speaker 2: didn't settle ever? Did anyone settle? And like Argentina or

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Speaker 2: did they all dislike it?

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Speaker 1: We like it. But after years, the first moment it was,

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Speaker 1: it was really so painful because in Ukraine we study different.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's know you and it it was different. And having

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Speaker 1: that freedom, it's just like you know, my holidays, it

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Speaker 1: was just going and having fun outside in the nature,

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Speaker 1: just maybe broke and bush and stuff like that, like

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Speaker 1: kids they like to do that. I had that freedom

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Speaker 1: and I lost that freedom. I also lose the possibility

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Speaker 1: to be myself. Also a Latin. People they like to hug,

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Speaker 1: they kiss you, they touch that's not normal for Ukraine.

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Speaker 1: I just meet you, I don't want to don't touch me.

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Speaker 1: I just meet you. I don't know you. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if I can trust you or not. And a

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Speaker 1: lot of people they're just dramatic.

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Speaker 2: Did your parents get jobs straight away?

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Speaker 1: Not straightaway, but yes, I remember my mom was a struggle.

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Speaker 1: Yes it was. We are seven siblings and five We

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Speaker 1: left Argentina with my parents, so we were living in

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Speaker 1: I remember small house, only two bedrooms and one living

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Speaker 1: room with dining room together and one toilet. Some of

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Speaker 1: us have been like sleeping on the floor in the kitchen. Wow,

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Speaker 1: nothing to do. You're you're for Ain, you're immigrant once

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Speaker 1: no one trust you to rent you something different. It

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Speaker 1: was different, It was not the same right now.

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Speaker 2: Did you ever feel like just going back to Ukraine?

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Speaker 1: I couldn't. But every moment because it wasn't my decision.

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Speaker 1: Just your parents make a decision and that's it. You

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Speaker 1: just as serve that.

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Speaker 2: How long How long was it till you decided that

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Speaker 2: you're going to come over here?

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Speaker 1: I have been leaving in Argentina for twenty five years.

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Speaker 2: Oh so you liked it then it wasn't too bad.

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Speaker 1: Then they are not like it. Just when you start

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Speaker 1: to study, when you start to construct your life, it's changed.

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Speaker 1: But it doesn't mean Argentina it's my favorite place either Ukraine.

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Speaker 2: Tell me about your family.

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Speaker 1: Then, oh my mom passed away three years ago. I'm

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Speaker 1: still working on that. And I was the last person

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Speaker 1: who saw my mom in good condition, good conditions. She

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Speaker 1: was really struggling, but yeah, I could to see her.

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Speaker 1: So at least for me in Argentina, it was hard

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Speaker 1: because if something wrong happen in my family, they tried

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Speaker 1: to figure out, they tried to fix the situation, you know,

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Speaker 1: like family fighting and stuff like that. At the end,

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Speaker 1: they always call me. I was like the savor of

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Speaker 1: the relationships in my family. Yes, I tried to avoid,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know for some reason, everyworthdy just every

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Speaker 1: time they just called me at the end. And with

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Speaker 1: my father, sadly, we had more than one of that situation.

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Speaker 1: They divorced with my mother. I don't remember which year,

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Speaker 1: but I was maybe twenty nine years old when they divorced.

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Speaker 1: And they divorced because we insist, all the kids insist.

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Speaker 1: My father he had been cheating home my mom all

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Speaker 1: his life, all the marriage, and he has another woman

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Speaker 1: in Ukraine. He had been traveling to Ukraine the last

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Speaker 1: twenty years at least three times per year. So it

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Speaker 1: was just like, come on, just divorce.

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Speaker 2: How long did you know about that?

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Speaker 1: Because I went to Ukraine in twenty fourteen, and that woman,

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Speaker 1: she appeared in my sister home and the door, knocking

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Speaker 1: the door and saying hello, I'm your that new wife.

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Speaker 1: And he's because he told her my kids they doesn't

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Speaker 1: want me to divorce, so I'm trying to be in

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Speaker 1: the family for my kids. That was alive. We never

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Speaker 1: knew about that, We suspect, but we never had than

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Speaker 1: any kind of like resources to say this is happening.

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Speaker 1: I don't have good relationship with my father because he

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Speaker 1: was an abusive father. It was sexual abusive father from Ukraine.

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Speaker 1: From Ukraine.

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Speaker 2: Did you move and know about this or she didn't

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Speaker 2: know about this?

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Speaker 1: She never realized that. And I told her about that

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Speaker 1: when I was twenty years old. It was hard for her.

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Speaker 2: Did you ever confront you that about it when you

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Speaker 2: got older?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Well how old are you? When it stopped?

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Speaker 1: When I was twelve, I can say that he just stop.

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Speaker 1: You know, when you're living with your enemy under danger

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Speaker 1: every time. That's why I just miss a lot of

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Speaker 1: Ukraine because I have my freedom. I was safe more

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Speaker 1: being like around cows, enjoying somewhere and not at home.

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Speaker 1: So just in some point in Argentina, when I start

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Speaker 1: to grow up, I knew the law and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: I just I told him, if you touch me again,

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Speaker 1: I will just tell my teacher in school, I will

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Speaker 1: go to the police. Also said, you're abusive.

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Speaker 2: How would he keep it from them? Knowing? Would he

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Speaker 2: just wait for you to be in your room?

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Speaker 1: So it was always at nighttime when when I was sleeping.

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Speaker 1: Mostly of that that was the hardest part because during

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Speaker 1: the day it was like normal, that.

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Speaker 2: Just that, So it's like it was forgotten, never happened.

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Speaker 1: It like yeah, like during the day it was one man,

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Speaker 1: and then with this nighttime it was just another. So

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Speaker 1: that was the hardest part. I didn't explain all the

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Speaker 1: details to my mom because it was hard for her,

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Speaker 1: but I just let her know at some point because

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Speaker 1: when we start to grow up with my sister, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. He was just like he's just sick man.

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Speaker 1: And in some point he started to complain because with

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Speaker 1: my sister, we always keep distance. We never hug him,

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Speaker 1: we never kiss him, we always keep distance. I'm just

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Speaker 1: talking with you with some kind of respect because you're human,

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Speaker 1: but just a distance. And he started to complain about that,

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Speaker 1: and mostly he complained with my mom, and then my

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Speaker 1: mom come to our room to spoke with me and

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Speaker 1: with my sister. At one point, my sister just tried

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Speaker 1: to cry. My mother was like, why she's crying? What's wrong?

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Speaker 1: I don't understand how her is being, just like, you know,

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Speaker 1: just show some feelings to your dad. And I look

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Speaker 1: at her and my sister, No Leiah, please don't say

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Speaker 1: anything like I said, Julie, I'm tired, and I look

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Speaker 1: at my mom. I said, do you know why, because

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Speaker 1: the only feeling we can show him is that we

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Speaker 1: hate him. And I said, just on points what happened?

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Speaker 1: And her face just changed straight away. It was just

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Speaker 1: too much for her.

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Speaker 2: When that was happening to you. Okay, you've got older

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Speaker 2: now and you're still scarred from it. Is that your

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Speaker 2: way of moving out of Argentina to come here or

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Speaker 2: did you just was that just by chance you came here?

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Speaker 1: No, I keep there. I just decide that I will

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Speaker 1: move from my house when I feel like because I

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Speaker 1: was the last kid who never moved from the house.

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Speaker 1: And he started pushing me, and at one point, I

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Speaker 1: remember we have been having breakfast in the morning because

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Speaker 1: he likes to have breakfast at the same time I

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Speaker 1: like to have breakfast. So normally we have been sitting

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Speaker 1: on the table having breakfast. And I told you he

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Speaker 1: was he is a sick man. So normally from like

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Speaker 1: all my age, like maybe in some families, the discussion

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Speaker 1: about sex, it's not normal. In my case, he have

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Speaker 1: been talking about sex always when we like eats breakfast,

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Speaker 1: have breakfast in the morning. In sime point, even if

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Speaker 1: you start talking about the climate change or something, he

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Speaker 1: always will inflict the conversation. So in some point he

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Speaker 1: started to press me to leave the house, and I

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Speaker 1: remember in one point I look at him, I say,

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Speaker 1: I know what are you doing. So as much you're

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Speaker 1: pressing on me to leave the house much time, I

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Speaker 1: will stay here just to being someone too. You should

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Speaker 1: scared because he was always scared of me. He never

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Speaker 1: knows what to expect of me. And I say, I'll

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Speaker 1: be here until I decide to live this place. So

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Speaker 1: if you like to talk about sex every morning, we

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Speaker 1: can do that. If you will pressure me of marriage

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Speaker 1: or something, I don't care. I still living there for

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Speaker 1: a long time because for me it was really important,

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Speaker 1: like to show me, to show him that he doesn't

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Speaker 1: have any kind of control on me because he could

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Speaker 1: control everyone on our home, my mom, my brother's, my sisters,

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Speaker 1: but not me. That was the hardest part, at least

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Speaker 1: for him.

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Speaker 2: But that must have been so uncomfortable to stay at

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Speaker 2: the house knowing that what your father's done and sit

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Speaker 2: there at the same table, knowing what he's doing still

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Speaker 2: and it's to me, Okay, he hasn't touched you for

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Speaker 2: a few years, but still sit there and yeah, that's.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's all her life, looking at him every day

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Speaker 1: and showing him to I'm not scared. That was enough

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Speaker 1: because he always feel nervous, my presence a d and

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Speaker 1: his body start to shake always.

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Speaker 2: Did it affect you in any way at schooling like that?

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Speaker 2: Did you feel lonely? As you know? Because I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to pitch it you you're correct me if I'm wrong,

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Speaker 2: You've been. You've been, You're getting abused, You're lonely, you

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Speaker 2: have no friends, you don't even like Argentina. You're trying

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Speaker 2: to like it. You've got a mother with a split

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Speaker 2: personality that is also being physically abusing your Your dad's

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Speaker 2: not to protect that, and he's sexually abusing you. You

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Speaker 2: can't go to anyone, so what the hell are you

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Speaker 2: doing every in everyday life as a teenager, M be responsible,

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Speaker 2: but no friends.

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Speaker 1: I had few friends, but just maybe too.

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Speaker 2: Did you have a boyfriend at the time.

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Speaker 1: Mmmm, that's another story. That's another story because as the

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Speaker 1: result what happens and to me and my brothers, they

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Speaker 1: didn't protect me either. So when I it's starmon, I

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00:16:12,721 --> 00:16:15,841
Speaker 1: was maybe fourteen years old, I just started to play

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Speaker 1: with boys. I just seduced them and then just same

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Speaker 1: for another one another, another, another and another because in

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Speaker 1: my like it that circumstances in that part of my life.

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Speaker 1: It was just in some way to pay them what

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Speaker 1: my father did to me. And it was always to

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Speaker 1: being in control because I could control the situation in

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Speaker 1: my place, like in my home with my father, So

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Speaker 1: at least with them, I was under control. And that's

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Speaker 1: the sickness, that's the infirmity, because you're doing the same

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Speaker 1: that someone did to you. At some point. Yeah, And

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Speaker 1: I realized that was not really something positive for me

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Speaker 1: around eighteen years old. So when I was eighteen years old,

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Speaker 1: I just stopped going out. I just have to have

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Speaker 1: my normal life as was normal before. Yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: changed and changed and I focused on finishing my high

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Speaker 1: school and start studying something, and I start my nursery

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Speaker 1: school and I focus on nursery and I finish. That's

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Speaker 1: also I just start to focus on doing something. Just

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Speaker 1: don't think about all this stuff to happen to me.

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Speaker 2: Tell me about when you came to Australia while Australia.

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Speaker 1: I don't like the UK thanks for that either. The

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Speaker 1: United States. I just I don't like Europe because I'm

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Speaker 1: from Europe and when something is happening in one country,

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Speaker 1: it's affected all the Europe. And just like, oh, come on,

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Speaker 1: I'm from really hard childhood. I don't need any kind

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Speaker 1: of places with problems either. The United States amazing, big country,

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00:18:15,801 --> 00:18:19,961
Speaker 1: but they're always in the middle of something. So as

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Speaker 1: Australia was one of the possible country to move from Ukraine,

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Speaker 1: and my mom she makes some researches. And then I

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Speaker 1: have before pandemic time friends from Argentina who traveled to Australia.

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Speaker 1: So you start to ask them like, oh, how it's

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Speaker 1: going there, and I said, just it's really good because

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Speaker 1: the climate is similar with Argentina and the people it's

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Speaker 1: friendly but not too much. But they are not called either,

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Speaker 1: like in Europe. So I have some good friends talking

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Speaker 1: positive about Australia. I don't like places where it's called

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Speaker 1: so I thought, okay, it was one of the dreams,

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Speaker 1: my mom's dream. And I start to research and the

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Speaker 1: positive from like, you know, experience from my friends. I

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Speaker 1: like bitches, I like hot weather, and in some point

295
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,161
Speaker 1: I just start to think about that, Okay, maybe Australia

296
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Speaker 1: it's a really good place to try, just to move.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's.

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Speaker 2: What made you come. By yourself, did you want to

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Speaker 2: take one of your sisters or brothers with you? It

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Speaker 2: is like, let's go, let's do this.

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Speaker 1: Everyone is married with family.

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00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:43,921
Speaker 2: Big steptical. By yourself, it just looks or did you

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00:19:43,961 --> 00:19:45,561
Speaker 2: just need that? Did you need to get away?

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Speaker 1: I will explain all my life, I choose responsibilities and

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00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:56,480
Speaker 1: doing stuff just to keep myself busy, and all my

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00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,440
Speaker 1: life I have been studying hand working. I started working

307
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Speaker 1: when I was fourteen years old to pay my books

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Speaker 1: for school and pay my last a year of school.

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Speaker 1: Then I started to pay my nursery school just I

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Speaker 1: keep going. I was working all my life and paying

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Speaker 1: my stylies. So for the end of the story, I

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00:20:20,041 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 1: have three degrees and I speak four languages because that

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00:20:25,921 --> 00:20:28,521
Speaker 1: was the way to make me busy. Don't think about

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Speaker 1: all the hardest situation I live in my life. And

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Speaker 1: I didn't go deeper. I just speak about some point.

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Speaker 1: So during pandemic time, I was finishing my last year

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Speaker 1: of the Bacheral. Also, I have been working for a

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Speaker 1: time in a good company. I was working, like you know,

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00:20:51,921 --> 00:20:56,400
Speaker 1: in some projects. And also in that moment, I was

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Speaker 1: married and my mom she started struggling with her health.

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00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,041
Speaker 2: So you were married before you went came to Australia. Yeah,

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00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 2: oh we missed up. We missed up. Okay.

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Speaker 1: So during pandemic time, like at the end, I was

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Speaker 1: trying to finish my degree. I was working also because

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00:21:21,921 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 1: everyone needs an income, and my mom she started with

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Speaker 1: the health issues. So that year, I remember, I just

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00:21:30,561 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 1: spent like eighteen hours per day on my computer working

328
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Speaker 1: hand studying, and I finished, like my degree. I just

329
00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:43,521
Speaker 1: left a few exams for the end of the year,

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Speaker 1: and then I stopped with that because of my mom's health.

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Speaker 1: And I don't remember the year just to the point

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00:21:55,521 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 1: was when my mom passed away. It was too hard

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Speaker 1: for me, so I resigned my job. It was an amazing position,

334
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,761
Speaker 1: but it was too hard for me because I never

335
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:10,161
Speaker 1: had a good mother. I have been living with her,

336
00:22:10,481 --> 00:22:15,801
Speaker 1: but not like that kind of war mother only the

337
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:19,641
Speaker 1: last five years maybe, so for me lose my mom,

338
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Speaker 1: it was like, oh my god. In that moment, I

339
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 1: was thirty three years old, and come on, I just

340
00:22:27,281 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 1: have five years of good relationship with my mother. It

341
00:22:31,921 --> 00:22:37,161
Speaker 1: was too much. I lost like my best friend, my support,

342
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:43,321
Speaker 1: and I don't care about anything. I just I just

343
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:47,401
Speaker 1: resigned my job. I just take time to recover, and

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00:22:47,961 --> 00:22:54,321
Speaker 1: during that a year, the mercituation just start to be worse,

345
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 1: worse and worse. It just in one year, I lost

346
00:22:58,481 --> 00:23:02,400
Speaker 1: my mom and I get divorced, and I had some

347
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:08,241
Speaker 1: strong health issues because it was all about my stress.

348
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 1: So it's different when you divorce and you go home

349
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,561
Speaker 1: and you go home to your mom's place, because you

350
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,681
Speaker 1: go home. When I get divorced, I didn't have any

351
00:23:18,721 --> 00:23:22,161
Speaker 1: place to go home. There are no more place home,

352
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:27,721
Speaker 1: So you're just feeling. In my situation that moment, I

353
00:23:27,761 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 1: didn't feel like I belong. So I said, okay, let's

354
00:23:33,241 --> 00:23:38,880
Speaker 1: let's do something different, let's try again, And then I

355
00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 1: decide to move to Australia at least to try a

356
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 1: new beginning from from zero.

357
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 2: It's okay, you're in Australia, Yes, starting again. You think

358
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 2: this is a new beginning for you, where you're going

359
00:23:54,521 --> 00:23:56,521
Speaker 2: to get out of this root of having bad luck

360
00:23:56,961 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 2: and being you know, depressed and being and you think

361
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 2: this is the time it's going to you know, change

362
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:04,481
Speaker 2: for you.

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00:24:05,281 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

364
00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:07,521
Speaker 2: Did you like it when you first came me, did

365
00:24:07,561 --> 00:24:08,601
Speaker 2: you like it?

366
00:24:08,721 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: Yes? I didn't feel tough, you know, in Argentine, I

367
00:24:14,281 --> 00:24:19,360
Speaker 1: feel every step I did that was just tough. I

368
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,321
Speaker 1: need to put all my effort there. But here in Australia, No,

369
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,801
Speaker 1: because I don't know. Maybe after all, my experience in

370
00:24:26,921 --> 00:24:31,360
Speaker 1: Argentina went from one place to know. Then when I

371
00:24:31,441 --> 00:24:36,360
Speaker 1: visited Ukraine in twenty fourteen, I didn't feel like you know,

372
00:24:36,561 --> 00:24:39,481
Speaker 1: you sometimes you think if I go where I grow up,

373
00:24:39,681 --> 00:24:43,200
Speaker 1: maybe I feel like I belong there. And I visited

374
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:46,401
Speaker 1: Ukraine it was like, no, I don't belong here. Then

375
00:24:46,441 --> 00:24:49,201
Speaker 1: I go back to Argentina. No I don't belong here either.

376
00:24:49,801 --> 00:24:52,961
Speaker 1: But when I ave to Australia, I really feel like, yes,

377
00:24:53,481 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 1: I feel like I can belong here. I can construct

378
00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 1: something new here and studying English like some from Latin

379
00:25:01,721 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: America people. They start to complain, I don't know. I

380
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 1: don't understand Australian people. I don't understand things or that.

381
00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 1: How about Yuliah, I said, I don't know why you

382
00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:16,241
Speaker 1: feel like that? No, no, why not? I don't know.

383
00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:20,440
Speaker 1: I feel like at home. Honestly, I'm feeling Australia like

384
00:25:20,441 --> 00:25:23,841
Speaker 1: a home. I don't have that strong feelings like in

385
00:25:23,961 --> 00:25:28,160
Speaker 1: Argentina to prove myself to someone. I don't need to

386
00:25:28,201 --> 00:25:30,681
Speaker 1: do that here. Even if my English is not perfect,

387
00:25:31,441 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 1: everyone say, don't worry, don't worry, your English is perfect.

388
00:25:35,241 --> 00:25:40,440
Speaker 1: In Argentina, I had bad experience, like kids and people

389
00:25:40,521 --> 00:25:44,121
Speaker 1: my age just making jokes because you just say something

390
00:25:44,241 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: wrong and you feel stupid. You feel stupid. But yes,

391
00:25:48,321 --> 00:25:51,401
Speaker 1: you speak four languages. They speak just one and they're

392
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 1: making fun of you. Here in Australia, never happened.

393
00:25:55,281 --> 00:25:56,561
Speaker 2: So what was your first job when he came in?

394
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:57,920
Speaker 2: Did you get a job straight away?

395
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 1: Yeah? I'm still highing the same job job. Yes, yeah,

396
00:26:05,321 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: I'm working, like as a cleaner. I'm not right now,

397
00:26:08,681 --> 00:26:11,561
Speaker 1: but I started as a cleaner and I don't care

398
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,881
Speaker 1: because in Argentine I started as a cleaner also, and

399
00:26:15,921 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: then at the end I was working in a really

400
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: good administrative position. So it doesn't matter whay you start.

401
00:26:23,441 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 1: It was the goal you would like to have.

402
00:26:25,481 --> 00:26:27,921
Speaker 2: And why is it neither.

403
00:26:28,481 --> 00:26:29,921
Speaker 1: Because my friends they start here.

404
00:26:31,521 --> 00:26:34,921
Speaker 2: So did you move with me? Your friends they were.

405
00:26:34,921 --> 00:26:38,361
Speaker 1: Here when I come to Australia, they received me, but

406
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:42,521
Speaker 1: then they moved to Europe. They have been here maybe

407
00:26:42,561 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 1: for a few months when I arrived, and they moved

408
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,481
Speaker 1: to Europe.

409
00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:51,281
Speaker 2: See as I've been talking to you and you've talked

410
00:26:51,281 --> 00:26:56,321
Speaker 2: about Ukraine and Argentina, and now you went to Australia.

411
00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 2: The facial has changed so much where you talk about

412
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:04,401
Speaker 2: Australia and you get a smile. Okay, So together it's

413
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,241
Speaker 2: like you've got run away from demons like.

414
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:14,721
Speaker 1: Here in Australia. I never had nightmares before thirteen of

415
00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:21,801
Speaker 1: fibril this year in Argentine. My normal like routine is

416
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 1: having at least three or four nightmares in one week.

417
00:27:25,721 --> 00:27:27,080
Speaker 1: They stopped here in Australia.

418
00:27:27,681 --> 00:27:30,400
Speaker 2: Oh so you're still get them when you were in

419
00:27:30,441 --> 00:27:32,241
Speaker 2: your late twenties. Still yes.

420
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:37,121
Speaker 1: When I was married, at some point we decide with

421
00:27:37,201 --> 00:27:42,161
Speaker 1: my ex husband to buy a dog because he never

422
00:27:42,241 --> 00:27:46,200
Speaker 1: realized when I have nightmares, so I was struggling.

423
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 2: Did he know what I was about?

424
00:27:48,521 --> 00:27:48,801
Speaker 1: Yes?

425
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:49,961
Speaker 2: Oh so he knew.

426
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:53,481
Speaker 1: Yeah. I told him before we get married. I say,

427
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,280
Speaker 1: you should know at least me, at least what is

428
00:27:56,321 --> 00:28:00,121
Speaker 1: going if something changed with me or not. So we

429
00:28:00,201 --> 00:28:05,441
Speaker 1: buy the first Border Collie. Yeah, and then a year

430
00:28:05,561 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 1: after that we'll buy the second one. And my dogs.

431
00:28:09,801 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 1: There were who like, wake me up if I start

432
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:19,360
Speaker 1: to having nightmares, and sometimes the decision like it's just silly.

433
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: But when I had nightmares, in my dream, I was

434
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:26,881
Speaker 1: calling my dogs. Never my ex husband.

435
00:28:26,721 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 2: Did you bring your dogs with you?

436
00:28:28,241 --> 00:28:33,360
Speaker 1: No? Yet, that's my dream, and that's my dream I

437
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:36,921
Speaker 1: would like. I would like. They helped me a lot.

438
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:42,481
Speaker 1: I never lost my nightmares in Argentina. Yes, I'll deal

439
00:28:42,561 --> 00:28:46,521
Speaker 1: with them better after I had my dogs. But here

440
00:28:46,561 --> 00:28:54,321
Speaker 1: in Australia without my dogs, I always live well, in peace, resting.

441
00:28:56,641 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 2: So the nightmares I've started again since Saturday, the thirteenth April. Yes,

442
00:29:05,201 --> 00:29:08,401
Speaker 2: me about the day before let's go. The day before

443
00:29:08,441 --> 00:29:10,801
Speaker 2: the thirteenth of April, on the.

444
00:29:10,761 --> 00:29:15,961
Speaker 1: Friday, normally Friday morning, I was working on a near

445
00:29:16,041 --> 00:29:20,361
Speaker 1: Bondai junction because a student when we are on our break,

446
00:29:21,401 --> 00:29:25,241
Speaker 1: we are allowed to work normal forty hours. So that

447
00:29:25,481 --> 00:29:29,601
Speaker 1: was the last week I was allowed to work. More

448
00:29:29,801 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 1: so I was just doing some job in the morning

449
00:29:32,761 --> 00:29:37,561
Speaker 1: near Bondai and then my regular job on Loretto School.

450
00:29:38,441 --> 00:29:42,601
Speaker 1: So normal routine, just work five hours in the morning

451
00:29:42,681 --> 00:29:48,200
Speaker 1: and then from there I went to Loreto School to

452
00:29:48,281 --> 00:29:50,321
Speaker 1: work in the afternoon. And that's it.

453
00:29:50,401 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 2: No more than that. And then evening you didn't go out,

454
00:29:53,281 --> 00:29:56,361
Speaker 2: to stay at home and relaxed. Yeah, yes, normal Friday.

455
00:29:56,481 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 1: Yes, because for Saturday thirteen, one of my friends, she

456
00:30:01,241 --> 00:30:07,641
Speaker 1: asked me to help her, and also I class my

457
00:30:07,761 --> 00:30:10,921
Speaker 1: first volleyball class in the morning here to Central station.

458
00:30:11,281 --> 00:30:14,641
Speaker 1: So yes, after the job, I just arrived home and

459
00:30:15,001 --> 00:30:18,521
Speaker 1: take a shower and I'm going to bed early because

460
00:30:18,561 --> 00:30:22,561
Speaker 1: I had a busy Saturday. My Saturday was already prepared,

461
00:30:22,641 --> 00:30:27,001
Speaker 1: like training in the morning, then helping my friend, and

462
00:30:27,161 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 1: then Saturday in the afternoon. I said, maybe if I

463
00:30:31,561 --> 00:30:34,041
Speaker 1: feel like, maybe I go out or maybe I stay

464
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:39,361
Speaker 1: home just having some beers Saturday after And why not?

465
00:30:39,801 --> 00:30:41,681
Speaker 2: What made you go to Banda Junction.

466
00:30:41,881 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: Because of my worst experience in the world about the

467
00:30:47,681 --> 00:30:51,921
Speaker 1: volleyball class. Because when I arrived to the place I

468
00:30:52,161 --> 00:30:57,561
Speaker 1: ride before. To the coach, I just said, I haven't

469
00:30:57,601 --> 00:31:03,841
Speaker 1: been playing volleyball more than ten years, and my English

470
00:31:04,601 --> 00:31:07,841
Speaker 1: talking volleyball. It's not like I don't know all the

471
00:31:08,241 --> 00:31:12,641
Speaker 1: like expressions anything. I need some kind of group, like

472
00:31:12,801 --> 00:31:16,961
Speaker 1: really beginner. I prefer start from zero. I prefer grow

473
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:21,281
Speaker 1: up like growing fast, but starting from the zero. And

474
00:31:21,361 --> 00:31:24,041
Speaker 1: they said, yes, of course, don't worry, blah blah blah.

475
00:31:24,081 --> 00:31:27,041
Speaker 1: So when I arrived, the place was just, oh my god,

476
00:31:29,521 --> 00:31:35,761
Speaker 1: all guys and girls like eighteen twenty years old, all

477
00:31:35,801 --> 00:31:39,321
Speaker 1: of them after high school, all of them well training,

478
00:31:39,641 --> 00:31:42,761
Speaker 1: running fast and doing everything. I was like, oh, come on,

479
00:31:42,841 --> 00:31:47,401
Speaker 1: I'm thirty five, guys, this is not for me. And

480
00:31:47,441 --> 00:31:52,681
Speaker 1: because he just he didn't introduce himself, he didn't explain everything, well,

481
00:31:52,721 --> 00:31:57,681
Speaker 1: it was just like so overwhelming. It's just I didn't

482
00:31:57,761 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: understand how it works. He never explained anything, and I

483
00:32:03,161 --> 00:32:09,281
Speaker 1: just remember feeling like I just want to run away.

484
00:32:09,681 --> 00:32:12,321
Speaker 1: And when he tried to correct me, he said, you're

485
00:32:12,361 --> 00:32:15,881
Speaker 1: not fast, you're not reacting, You're not this, You're not like, yes,

486
00:32:16,161 --> 00:32:20,081
Speaker 1: it's my first day after more than ten years, give

487
00:32:20,081 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 1: me a break. So in some point I just stopped

488
00:32:24,481 --> 00:32:28,041
Speaker 1: to practicing. I just like what was near the world,

489
00:32:28,081 --> 00:32:33,240
Speaker 1: waiting and observing everything, and he's like, I don't know.

490
00:32:33,681 --> 00:32:37,121
Speaker 1: The two coaches and the woman. She arrived to me,

491
00:32:37,121 --> 00:32:40,041
Speaker 1: she said, are you okay? Yes, but it's my first class.

492
00:32:40,161 --> 00:32:44,081
Speaker 1: I'm not feeling well. I explain everything. She said, Okay,

493
00:32:44,201 --> 00:32:46,801
Speaker 1: just take your time. Maybe next time you feel better.

494
00:32:47,601 --> 00:32:51,881
Speaker 1: And when I left the place, it was too much

495
00:32:51,921 --> 00:32:55,241
Speaker 1: for me because I just walked through the door and

496
00:32:55,281 --> 00:32:58,321
Speaker 1: then I start to cry. I called my sister. I

497
00:32:58,321 --> 00:33:00,601
Speaker 1: was saying, like Jude, I don't know what's going wrong

498
00:33:00,641 --> 00:33:05,761
Speaker 1: with me. I'm crying. I'm crying because my experience so awful.

499
00:33:05,881 --> 00:33:10,201
Speaker 1: I'm crying. I can't stop crying. And my sister said,

500
00:33:10,401 --> 00:33:13,561
Speaker 1: just don't worry. Maybe that's not the team you need.

501
00:33:13,681 --> 00:33:17,720
Speaker 1: Maybe you should to find someplace with people more your age,

502
00:33:17,921 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: easy going. So after talking with my sister, I just

503
00:33:22,481 --> 00:33:25,161
Speaker 1: came down. I told her, okay, but I don't want

504
00:33:25,201 --> 00:33:28,041
Speaker 1: to give up. She said, don't give up. Just find

505
00:33:28,081 --> 00:33:33,201
Speaker 1: another place, find something where you feel better, you feel comfortable.

506
00:33:33,681 --> 00:33:36,081
Speaker 1: I say, okay, maybe it's better for me. By a

507
00:33:36,201 --> 00:33:40,601
Speaker 1: volleyball and start to playing home and trying to find

508
00:33:40,641 --> 00:33:47,481
Speaker 1: another place. So after that, I went to brunt if

509
00:33:47,521 --> 00:33:51,921
Speaker 1: I'm not wrong to help my friend. I cleaned her

510
00:33:51,961 --> 00:33:54,961
Speaker 1: place in four hours and a half after a party,

511
00:33:55,721 --> 00:34:00,161
Speaker 1: and when she arrived, she said you're well today? I

512
00:34:00,201 --> 00:34:03,521
Speaker 1: say am I? She said, yes, you don't look well.

513
00:34:04,081 --> 00:34:08,721
Speaker 1: Say yeah, I had a hard morning. And I talk

514
00:34:08,881 --> 00:34:12,561
Speaker 1: with her. I cry again. I remember she gave me

515
00:34:12,561 --> 00:34:15,561
Speaker 1: a heart. She said, don't worry, you can find another place.

516
00:34:15,841 --> 00:34:19,520
Speaker 1: I'll try to help you. And then I just leave.

517
00:34:19,881 --> 00:34:23,761
Speaker 1: And my way from her place to home I take

518
00:34:23,801 --> 00:34:26,481
Speaker 1: a bus and I should to go to Bondi junction

519
00:34:26,601 --> 00:34:29,881
Speaker 1: and take train. So I said, okay, it's a good idea.

520
00:34:30,001 --> 00:34:34,401
Speaker 1: Go to Bondai Junction shopping, buy a volleyball, and then

521
00:34:34,561 --> 00:34:38,481
Speaker 1: go home so I can start practicing at least at

522
00:34:38,481 --> 00:34:43,281
Speaker 1: home and looking for some different place with different like.

523
00:34:43,841 --> 00:34:47,081
Speaker 1: I don't know focus because my focus is not training

524
00:34:47,161 --> 00:34:50,521
Speaker 1: to competition. I just want to have fun and meet people,

525
00:34:50,761 --> 00:34:53,481
Speaker 1: no competition. I don't need anyone to push me and

526
00:34:53,601 --> 00:34:56,961
Speaker 1: saying you are slow, you're not doing this well? Yes,

527
00:34:57,161 --> 00:35:01,641
Speaker 1: I know, thank you. I know that's why I'm here.

528
00:35:04,721 --> 00:35:08,241
Speaker 1: So well, that's what's the way. How I ent on

529
00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:09,761
Speaker 1: the shopping center.

530
00:35:10,321 --> 00:35:13,401
Speaker 2: When did you realize something was wrong? Did you not

531
00:35:13,681 --> 00:35:15,441
Speaker 2: when you went to that shopping center. Did you know

532
00:35:15,561 --> 00:35:17,721
Speaker 2: anything was wrong, could you send any could you see anything?

533
00:35:17,961 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 2: Or did you just You're in your own world.

534
00:35:19,881 --> 00:35:25,521
Speaker 1: That's the problem with someone like me. I'm just disconnect

535
00:35:25,801 --> 00:35:29,161
Speaker 1: of my body. Yes, I not tie. Some people on

536
00:35:29,241 --> 00:35:33,521
Speaker 1: the right side, and I say, maybe some kind of promotion.

537
00:35:33,721 --> 00:35:36,161
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't care when there are so

538
00:35:36,321 --> 00:35:40,521
Speaker 1: many people in one side. I just remember when I

539
00:35:40,561 --> 00:35:43,201
Speaker 1: go out of the bus, I crossed the street. I

540
00:35:43,281 --> 00:35:46,521
Speaker 1: drown right and I said, near the Lego store. So

541
00:35:46,681 --> 00:35:50,801
Speaker 1: many people. I said, oh, something's going home there. I

542
00:35:50,921 --> 00:35:54,081
Speaker 1: don't want to be involved in any kind of problems.

543
00:35:54,241 --> 00:35:57,081
Speaker 1: I don't care. I just want to have my volleyball,

544
00:35:57,441 --> 00:36:00,881
Speaker 1: go home and drink my beers. So I crossed the

545
00:36:00,921 --> 00:36:03,441
Speaker 1: street to the left side, and I come into the

546
00:36:03,481 --> 00:36:10,561
Speaker 1: shopping center listening music on my own. Yes, and I

547
00:36:10,641 --> 00:36:15,721
Speaker 1: never listened now like in high always low. And because

548
00:36:15,721 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: I was waiting to talk with my friend, she said

549
00:36:18,561 --> 00:36:20,761
Speaker 1: maybe ten to fifteen minutes, you can call me blah

550
00:36:20,761 --> 00:36:24,161
Speaker 1: blah blah. So I just come in. I went to

551
00:36:24,361 --> 00:36:28,561
Speaker 1: the scream to find where I can buy a volleyball.

552
00:36:29,441 --> 00:36:32,081
Speaker 1: It was maybe two three minutes. No more than that,

553
00:36:32,281 --> 00:36:36,361
Speaker 1: I just write why I need. I saw the instruction

554
00:36:36,601 --> 00:36:40,921
Speaker 1: go to left, take the escalators, and I don't remember,

555
00:36:41,721 --> 00:36:44,921
Speaker 1: and I said, okay, And when I walked to left,

556
00:36:45,121 --> 00:36:49,201
Speaker 1: I did maybe three steps I don't know how many

557
00:36:49,241 --> 00:36:52,841
Speaker 1: steps by and feeling like three and then I felt

558
00:36:53,641 --> 00:36:59,001
Speaker 1: like the guy who were walking to my side front

559
00:37:00,201 --> 00:37:03,681
Speaker 1: and the left. I remember that. I looked at him

560
00:37:03,881 --> 00:37:07,041
Speaker 1: and all his body language was saying he's going out

561
00:37:07,321 --> 00:37:11,561
Speaker 1: through the same door by coming, so I remember that.

562
00:37:12,281 --> 00:37:16,601
Speaker 1: And then he was on his face was looking so weird.

563
00:37:17,361 --> 00:37:20,881
Speaker 1: I said, something is going on on his mind? He

564
00:37:20,921 --> 00:37:25,161
Speaker 1: looked he just glimpsed, and then at some point his

565
00:37:25,401 --> 00:37:30,281
Speaker 1: expression changed, and it changes in one second, and I

566
00:37:30,361 --> 00:37:33,921
Speaker 1: remember feeling like someone crushed on my body, and I

567
00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:39,681
Speaker 1: realized he was the person who crushing my body. And

568
00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:42,921
Speaker 1: in seconds, I just thought, so aggraciul Man, what's wrong

569
00:37:42,961 --> 00:37:48,321
Speaker 1: with him? Because just like I don't know, I remember

570
00:37:48,401 --> 00:37:51,961
Speaker 1: everything slowly, but it's happened in seconds. He crushed on

571
00:37:52,001 --> 00:37:54,161
Speaker 1: my body and then I feel like burning on my

572
00:37:54,241 --> 00:37:54,721
Speaker 1: left side.

573
00:37:54,761 --> 00:37:56,681
Speaker 2: So you never felt that knife going?

574
00:37:57,241 --> 00:38:00,321
Speaker 1: No, never? And then I said, like my first question

575
00:38:00,441 --> 00:38:02,201
Speaker 1: was what he did to my body? And then I

576
00:38:02,201 --> 00:38:07,161
Speaker 1: said Leah, this is not something good. And then I

577
00:38:07,561 --> 00:38:11,601
Speaker 1: just remember just a guy who appeared in front of me,

578
00:38:11,681 --> 00:38:14,281
Speaker 1: who take on my shoulders, who shakes me just a bit.

579
00:38:14,401 --> 00:38:18,281
Speaker 1: He said, you have been stopped. Do you understand what

580
00:38:18,321 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 1: I'm telling you? And say yes?

581
00:38:21,521 --> 00:38:25,921
Speaker 2: And do you remember dropping? No, don't remember, So you

582
00:38:25,921 --> 00:38:28,681
Speaker 2: don't remember anything after you knew you've been stabbed.

583
00:38:28,961 --> 00:38:34,361
Speaker 1: I just remember him running away. Yeah, but that memories

584
00:38:34,561 --> 00:38:40,801
Speaker 1: come back after the operation in the hospital. I remember

585
00:38:40,881 --> 00:38:44,881
Speaker 1: after the operation when the policies asked me some questions,

586
00:38:45,441 --> 00:38:49,361
Speaker 1: and I remember he run away. And also I remember

587
00:38:49,601 --> 00:38:51,041
Speaker 1: that he said me, I catch you.

588
00:38:51,961 --> 00:38:52,681
Speaker 2: Is that what he said?

589
00:38:52,921 --> 00:38:58,241
Speaker 1: Yes? Because in my mind that moment is black, yeah,

590
00:38:58,321 --> 00:39:00,441
Speaker 1: and just black. It just like I closed my eyes,

591
00:39:00,481 --> 00:39:01,241
Speaker 1: I opened them.

592
00:39:01,401 --> 00:39:03,121
Speaker 2: I was there a lot of screaming. Could you hear

593
00:39:03,481 --> 00:39:05,761
Speaker 2: people screaming? Or you couldn't hear anything? You were just

594
00:39:05,961 --> 00:39:07,081
Speaker 2: blank to everything.

595
00:39:07,641 --> 00:39:09,961
Speaker 1: As I told you, I'm disconnect from this world.

596
00:39:09,841 --> 00:39:11,281
Speaker 2: Sometimes, so you just couldn't hear nothing.

597
00:39:11,361 --> 00:39:16,441
Speaker 1: You just no way because whye the man who helped me,

598
00:39:17,081 --> 00:39:20,201
Speaker 1: he said that he had been screaming and there are

599
00:39:20,241 --> 00:39:23,521
Speaker 1: people who running her around. I never not tice anything

600
00:39:23,561 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 1: of that. What was the pain in what moment, Well,

601
00:39:27,521 --> 00:39:28,921
Speaker 1: at the beginning or the end.

602
00:39:29,161 --> 00:39:32,161
Speaker 2: No, let's go to the beginning, because you didn't know

603
00:39:32,201 --> 00:39:35,121
Speaker 2: you'd been stabbed. Okay, But when when you did figure

604
00:39:35,121 --> 00:39:39,001
Speaker 2: out you'd been stabbed and you're on the floor, what

605
00:39:39,161 --> 00:39:42,161
Speaker 2: was the pain? Were you panicking? Were you panicking? Were

606
00:39:42,161 --> 00:39:43,001
Speaker 2: you thinking this is it?

607
00:39:43,401 --> 00:39:43,561
Speaker 1: No?

608
00:39:43,601 --> 00:39:45,561
Speaker 2: Way, you didn't think this is it?

609
00:39:45,641 --> 00:39:50,241
Speaker 1: No? I never panicked. Okay, I'm not that kind of person.

610
00:39:50,481 --> 00:39:52,041
Speaker 1: Did you? So?

611
00:39:52,401 --> 00:39:54,121
Speaker 2: Did you think this was it? That you this was

612
00:39:54,161 --> 00:39:54,481
Speaker 2: the end?

613
00:39:54,761 --> 00:39:58,801
Speaker 1: Look, I didn't remember that. But after talking with mine

614
00:39:58,881 --> 00:40:01,841
Speaker 1: he said, I remember you just take off your air pots.

615
00:40:02,001 --> 00:40:04,641
Speaker 1: You put them inside of your leg. You're talking about

616
00:40:05,601 --> 00:40:06,281
Speaker 1: because when.

617
00:40:06,161 --> 00:40:09,841
Speaker 2: He started too, you've been stabbed and you're.

618
00:40:09,161 --> 00:40:12,881
Speaker 1: Still listening music. I take them off. I put them

619
00:40:12,921 --> 00:40:15,961
Speaker 1: in my box. Yes, I'm serious. You can ask him

620
00:40:16,001 --> 00:40:16,641
Speaker 1: if you want.

621
00:40:17,121 --> 00:40:20,601
Speaker 2: You were stabbed that viciously and you took your I

622
00:40:20,681 --> 00:40:25,961
Speaker 2: put out calmly, yes, and put them in they container

623
00:40:26,041 --> 00:40:26,641
Speaker 2: that they go in.

624
00:40:26,841 --> 00:40:30,641
Speaker 1: Yes, and then the container on my back. I closed

625
00:40:30,681 --> 00:40:32,841
Speaker 1: my back. I look at him and say, yes, I

626
00:40:33,001 --> 00:40:38,001
Speaker 1: understand what you're saying. Yes, I can walk. Tell me

627
00:40:38,041 --> 00:40:44,401
Speaker 1: what to do. I never feel nervous, never, But.

628
00:40:44,321 --> 00:40:46,281
Speaker 2: You've just been stabbed by what was it a thirty

629
00:40:46,321 --> 00:40:49,161
Speaker 2: inch thirty inch blade? How long you reckon? You're on

630
00:40:49,161 --> 00:40:50,681
Speaker 2: the floor for I thought.

631
00:40:50,441 --> 00:40:54,001
Speaker 1: It was at least two three hours, but it was

632
00:40:54,041 --> 00:40:57,761
Speaker 1: twenty five minutes. But I feel it like a long time,

633
00:40:58,681 --> 00:40:59,081
Speaker 1: long time?

634
00:40:59,161 --> 00:41:00,801
Speaker 2: Did you? Did you think it was a serious cut?

635
00:41:01,601 --> 00:41:02,601
Speaker 2: I knew it, sounds of it.

636
00:41:03,201 --> 00:41:03,561
Speaker 1: I knew it.

637
00:41:04,641 --> 00:41:07,881
Speaker 2: I'm a I knew it, So you knew it was.

638
00:41:08,681 --> 00:41:12,081
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm manures, so I knew it. I can breathe deep,

639
00:41:12,241 --> 00:41:16,681
Speaker 1: so he didn't cut any of my pullmans. But he

640
00:41:16,721 --> 00:41:20,281
Speaker 1: got from left to right. I'm still breathing, and my

641
00:41:20,481 --> 00:41:24,521
Speaker 1: heart is still working, so it could be near to

642
00:41:24,721 --> 00:41:28,121
Speaker 1: my heart and near the artery. Who is going like

643
00:41:28,281 --> 00:41:31,761
Speaker 1: from I have already imagined in my brain, how much bloody?

644
00:41:32,601 --> 00:41:33,480
Speaker 2: Surely you listen?

645
00:41:33,521 --> 00:41:39,921
Speaker 1: A lot of blood in the medical records is set

646
00:41:40,321 --> 00:41:42,441
Speaker 1: seven point five liters.

647
00:41:42,201 --> 00:41:47,361
Speaker 2: Seven point five lists. And you're still calm as anything. Yes, okay,

648
00:41:47,361 --> 00:41:49,601
Speaker 2: the guy is trying to keep you conscious.

649
00:41:49,641 --> 00:41:53,601
Speaker 1: Yet and here he asked if I can walk? I

650
00:41:53,721 --> 00:41:57,161
Speaker 1: said yes. He said, I will put you in safe place.

651
00:41:57,281 --> 00:41:59,601
Speaker 1: So I walked from the place where I have been

652
00:41:59,641 --> 00:42:01,081
Speaker 1: stopped to the store.

653
00:42:01,401 --> 00:42:04,281
Speaker 2: How is that? I don't know he got you up

654
00:42:04,321 --> 00:42:05,641
Speaker 2: with a stab with to walk.

655
00:42:06,281 --> 00:42:09,601
Speaker 1: I walked, yeah, and he walked because I said, I

656
00:42:09,721 --> 00:42:11,241
Speaker 1: just put my arm like this.

657
00:42:12,001 --> 00:42:13,321
Speaker 2: Was anyone trying to stop the bleeding.

658
00:42:14,441 --> 00:42:17,921
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I put my arm like this, and then

659
00:42:17,961 --> 00:42:21,441
Speaker 1: I pressed my wood and I said, yes, I can walk.

660
00:42:22,521 --> 00:42:27,001
Speaker 1: So he was like, you know, she's crazy, So he

661
00:42:27,721 --> 00:42:30,761
Speaker 1: stepped near me. He takes on my shoulders to help

662
00:42:30,801 --> 00:42:35,401
Speaker 1: me walk, and we went inside of one store. There

663
00:42:35,441 --> 00:42:39,361
Speaker 1: were women's and someone's I don't remember how many of them.

664
00:42:39,761 --> 00:42:44,481
Speaker 1: They locked the door. They put me on the floor,

665
00:42:44,841 --> 00:42:47,521
Speaker 1: and one of the ones I remember, she started to

666
00:42:47,561 --> 00:42:50,481
Speaker 1: make a pressure on my wood. Yeah, I remember that.

667
00:42:50,641 --> 00:42:54,521
Speaker 1: And they remember like lying on the floor. The guy went.

668
00:42:54,681 --> 00:42:58,440
Speaker 1: He asked me if I have someone to call, and

669
00:42:58,521 --> 00:43:02,281
Speaker 1: I call one friend where I'm leaving right now, and

670
00:43:02,361 --> 00:43:04,841
Speaker 1: all this stuff stuff like all of them start to

671
00:43:04,881 --> 00:43:08,401
Speaker 1: be on the phone trying to get some help. And

672
00:43:08,721 --> 00:43:12,441
Speaker 1: in that moment after I lie on the floor, in

673
00:43:12,521 --> 00:43:17,761
Speaker 1: that moment, I start to feel pain and each second,

674
00:43:18,041 --> 00:43:19,401
Speaker 1: each minute, it was.

675
00:43:19,361 --> 00:43:21,841
Speaker 2: Growing at a lot of boy.

676
00:43:22,361 --> 00:43:25,481
Speaker 1: I start to was a lot of blood. Yeah, because

677
00:43:25,521 --> 00:43:32,441
Speaker 1: he could an ordery so much liver. The damage was

678
00:43:32,561 --> 00:43:33,241
Speaker 1: so severe.

679
00:43:33,601 --> 00:43:36,121
Speaker 2: Did anyone know what was going on, just a panic.

680
00:43:36,681 --> 00:43:39,721
Speaker 1: All of the people who were insight in the store

681
00:43:39,761 --> 00:43:43,681
Speaker 1: with me, no once knew what was going on. Yeah, yeah,

682
00:43:44,241 --> 00:43:47,961
Speaker 1: I just remember lying on the floor. My pain started

683
00:43:48,041 --> 00:43:52,241
Speaker 1: to grow, and I focus on the pain, how to

684
00:43:52,321 --> 00:43:58,361
Speaker 1: manage the pain. And there were me like women's the

685
00:43:58,481 --> 00:44:03,561
Speaker 1: right side, one of them taking my hand and trying

686
00:44:03,601 --> 00:44:06,681
Speaker 1: to like she was trying to calm me down, but

687
00:44:06,761 --> 00:44:10,201
Speaker 1: she was more stressful and crying and need worse situation

688
00:44:10,361 --> 00:44:15,681
Speaker 1: than me emotionally. Then I had another woman in front

689
00:44:15,721 --> 00:44:18,641
Speaker 1: of me, pressing on my wood. Then I remember why,

690
00:44:19,161 --> 00:44:24,321
Speaker 1: like talking on the phone. One woman who was trying

691
00:44:24,401 --> 00:44:28,481
Speaker 1: some clothes and she just opened the courteen. She saw everything,

692
00:44:28,641 --> 00:44:31,121
Speaker 1: and why I said, like just stay there. She sit

693
00:44:31,241 --> 00:44:35,641
Speaker 1: there near the mirror, and she was there all the time.

694
00:44:35,721 --> 00:44:39,761
Speaker 1: She never moved from her place, just so shocked and

695
00:44:39,841 --> 00:44:42,401
Speaker 1: on tea side. I remember some people, but I don't

696
00:44:42,441 --> 00:44:47,241
Speaker 1: remember well. So I remember everyone on the phone calling

697
00:44:47,361 --> 00:44:53,481
Speaker 1: the police an ambulance, and I just remember when saying like, yes,

698
00:44:53,521 --> 00:44:57,121
Speaker 1: there are already policies in the place. We have police,

699
00:44:57,281 --> 00:45:03,361
Speaker 1: we have ambulance. They already near trying to get inside

700
00:45:03,401 --> 00:45:06,841
Speaker 1: in the shopping center, but didn't have any answer. They

701
00:45:06,961 --> 00:45:11,121
Speaker 1: still be waiting, and in some point we hear the

702
00:45:11,241 --> 00:45:15,961
Speaker 1: gun shots. Yes, and in that moment, some of the

703
00:45:16,041 --> 00:45:19,761
Speaker 1: people inside of the store, they just started to running around.

704
00:45:19,841 --> 00:45:24,601
Speaker 1: It was just yeah, just like come on, that doesn't.

705
00:45:24,361 --> 00:45:26,561
Speaker 2: But did anyone stay near you? Well, the panic was

706
00:45:26,601 --> 00:45:28,241
Speaker 2: going on that yes.

707
00:45:28,041 --> 00:45:31,681
Speaker 1: The women, the woman who was pressing on my wood,

708
00:45:32,001 --> 00:45:37,321
Speaker 1: and also one woman here, the Japanese woman, they still

709
00:45:37,361 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 1: always near to me. And when he tried to keep

710
00:45:41,561 --> 00:45:45,081
Speaker 1: all the situations quiet and calm, and I remember then

711
00:45:45,321 --> 00:45:49,801
Speaker 1: they call again to just know if we will have

712
00:45:49,881 --> 00:45:54,761
Speaker 1: some help or not. And I remember the Japanese woman

713
00:45:54,921 --> 00:45:58,681
Speaker 1: was asking him like how long will take more? We're

714
00:45:58,801 --> 00:46:02,081
Speaker 1: just already waiting for so long. And he was on

715
00:46:02,121 --> 00:46:05,681
Speaker 1: the phone say like they already have eleving ambulance outside

716
00:46:05,761 --> 00:46:08,521
Speaker 1: and she was saying, yes, but we need them inside

717
00:46:08,921 --> 00:46:15,761
Speaker 1: now such as bleeding here. Like everyone was so like stressful,

718
00:46:15,801 --> 00:46:20,761
Speaker 1: of course and scared. The situation was not the easy one.

719
00:46:22,001 --> 00:46:24,401
Speaker 2: You're you're aligne on the floor losing blood.

720
00:46:24,121 --> 00:46:28,761
Speaker 1: And listening that we have ambulances but they're outside, so there's.

721
00:46:28,561 --> 00:46:30,601
Speaker 2: No ambulances or please pass that store at the.

722
00:46:30,521 --> 00:46:35,721
Speaker 1: Time, no, no way, just gunshot and and before gunshot,

723
00:46:35,761 --> 00:46:42,321
Speaker 1: that they alarm. The alarm started to sounds. After they

724
00:46:42,321 --> 00:46:44,441
Speaker 1: put me on the floor, they start to call and

725
00:46:44,521 --> 00:46:47,161
Speaker 1: the alarm started to sounds. And after that, I remember

726
00:46:47,241 --> 00:46:51,961
Speaker 1: the gun shot and then silence, quiet, and then we

727
00:46:52,081 --> 00:46:54,721
Speaker 1: have I don't know for how long we wait until

728
00:46:55,121 --> 00:46:56,281
Speaker 1: the policy is coming.

729
00:46:56,441 --> 00:46:58,761
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know remember what store was, you can't remember,

730
00:46:59,401 --> 00:46:59,921
Speaker 2: I can show.

731
00:47:00,121 --> 00:47:02,321
Speaker 1: I don't remember the name, but I can show. Yeah,

732
00:47:02,401 --> 00:47:06,441
Speaker 1: I remember a thing like in that moment for me,

733
00:47:06,521 --> 00:47:11,161
Speaker 1: it was a long time, not twenty five minutes, I felt.

734
00:47:11,201 --> 00:47:15,361
Speaker 1: It felt like I was like hours. And the pain

735
00:47:15,481 --> 00:47:25,481
Speaker 1: start to grow from my belly, to grow oh so quick, unbearable. Yeah,

736
00:47:26,681 --> 00:47:29,601
Speaker 1: just in some point I just started to focus on

737
00:47:29,921 --> 00:47:35,441
Speaker 1: my love part of belly to resist the pain and

738
00:47:35,681 --> 00:47:40,641
Speaker 1: breath deeper. And because that pain, I know, it's just

739
00:47:40,681 --> 00:47:44,401
Speaker 1: like being a woman when I'm in my period. I

740
00:47:44,481 --> 00:47:47,041
Speaker 1: know that kind of pain. That was the first pain

741
00:47:47,121 --> 00:47:52,201
Speaker 1: I feel. So when the pain start to grow, I'm

742
00:47:52,201 --> 00:47:55,561
Speaker 1: a believer. I started to pray, it's just God, let

743
00:47:55,601 --> 00:47:57,761
Speaker 1: me know what I do or just take me it.

744
00:47:57,961 --> 00:48:01,161
Speaker 1: Just like I don't know something. And I had this idea,

745
00:48:01,321 --> 00:48:05,441
Speaker 1: like you know, like some kind of ideas in my

746
00:48:05,521 --> 00:48:08,201
Speaker 1: mind was like you already know what kind of pain

747
00:48:08,801 --> 00:48:12,321
Speaker 1: you can work with, so I focus on that kind

748
00:48:12,361 --> 00:48:14,961
Speaker 1: of pain because I know that kind of pain. So

749
00:48:15,001 --> 00:48:18,921
Speaker 1: I start to talk to myself insight in my mind, Leah,

750
00:48:18,921 --> 00:48:22,521
Speaker 1: you know this pain. Just breath deeper. You know it's

751
00:48:22,641 --> 00:48:25,801
Speaker 1: never take so long. It just maybe half an hour.

752
00:48:26,001 --> 00:48:30,401
Speaker 1: You can resist it. So I start to work on that.

753
00:48:31,841 --> 00:48:36,561
Speaker 1: But it was hard to breath, it was hard breed,

754
00:48:36,601 --> 00:48:39,321
Speaker 1: it was hard to lying on the floor. The pain

755
00:48:39,401 --> 00:48:43,961
Speaker 1: started to grow so fast and so strong. So in

756
00:48:44,121 --> 00:48:47,881
Speaker 1: some point I said, just guys, I give up. I'm tired.

757
00:48:48,201 --> 00:48:54,361
Speaker 1: I'll give up. I said that. I said, I can't

758
00:48:54,401 --> 00:48:58,361
Speaker 1: do this anymore. I'm just tired. And the Japanese woman

759
00:48:58,481 --> 00:49:01,921
Speaker 1: start to shake me, like, yeah, you can't. You have

760
00:49:02,041 --> 00:49:05,321
Speaker 1: been waiting for so long. Now you can't. You can't.

761
00:49:05,601 --> 00:49:09,721
Speaker 1: I remember I feel how old her body was shaking

762
00:49:09,841 --> 00:49:13,001
Speaker 1: inside only because I said I give up, and she

763
00:49:13,121 --> 00:49:17,041
Speaker 1: started to cry a lot. I look at her. I said, okay, okay, okay,

764
00:49:17,081 --> 00:49:20,321
Speaker 1: but don't shake me anymore, because when she shakes me,

765
00:49:20,481 --> 00:49:26,241
Speaker 1: my pain start to feel more like stronger and stronger.

766
00:49:26,241 --> 00:49:28,761
Speaker 1: I say, okay, okay, but don't shake me anymore and

767
00:49:29,281 --> 00:49:33,081
Speaker 1: talk to me. Don't touch me, just leave me like that.

768
00:49:33,601 --> 00:49:40,161
Speaker 1: To be honest, for me, it was easier just you know,

769
00:49:41,041 --> 00:49:46,281
Speaker 1: after all the hard situations I have been throughe For me,

770
00:49:46,321 --> 00:49:48,761
Speaker 1: it was easier just leave this.

771
00:49:48,761 --> 00:49:52,041
Speaker 2: World, after everything that you've been through. Yeah, and then

772
00:49:52,081 --> 00:49:52,921
Speaker 2: this happens to you.

773
00:49:53,161 --> 00:49:54,881
Speaker 1: It was like, oh, this is my moment?

774
00:49:56,561 --> 00:49:58,241
Speaker 2: Is that? What was just going for your head?

775
00:49:59,641 --> 00:50:04,881
Speaker 1: It just you know, after all the situation, I have

776
00:50:05,521 --> 00:50:09,601
Speaker 1: friends friends or friends saying, oh you survived, That's so good.

777
00:50:10,601 --> 00:50:17,721
Speaker 1: I'm just tired of being our survival every day of

778
00:50:17,761 --> 00:50:23,281
Speaker 1: my life. I'm just tired. My idea, I know started

779
00:50:23,561 --> 00:50:29,041
Speaker 1: was leave a new life, nor survive again again again,

780
00:50:29,121 --> 00:50:34,001
Speaker 1: again and again. So when it happened, I was just

781
00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:39,961
Speaker 1: really tired. But I couldn't. They didn't allowed me, and

782
00:50:40,521 --> 00:50:44,681
Speaker 1: you know I in that moment, I just said, Okay,

783
00:50:45,001 --> 00:50:49,361
Speaker 1: let's try to do one for more. Because you look

784
00:50:49,401 --> 00:50:55,401
Speaker 1: over the faces. They are worried, they're scared, they are

785
00:50:55,481 --> 00:51:00,601
Speaker 1: trying to help you, having some kind of hope, And

786
00:51:00,841 --> 00:51:03,401
Speaker 1: for me it was okay, Leah, you can do it again.

787
00:51:04,001 --> 00:51:09,601
Speaker 1: I tried to find reasons in that moment to breathe,

788
00:51:10,641 --> 00:51:15,520
Speaker 1: to resist the pain. John loose conscious because she said

789
00:51:15,601 --> 00:51:19,801
Speaker 1: you can't die today right now. You can't sleep either.

790
00:51:20,441 --> 00:51:22,841
Speaker 1: I remember the Jobani Zon, and I'm just like, oh

791
00:51:22,921 --> 00:51:23,561
Speaker 1: my god.

792
00:51:24,281 --> 00:51:27,041
Speaker 2: Did you have you looked how much damage you've been

793
00:51:27,041 --> 00:51:27,721
Speaker 2: done to yourself?

794
00:51:28,081 --> 00:51:30,801
Speaker 1: They didn't allow me no, but I remember at some

795
00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:36,121
Speaker 1: point before before I say that I give up, or

796
00:51:36,521 --> 00:51:39,241
Speaker 1: it was after, I don't remember well, but I know

797
00:51:39,281 --> 00:51:41,321
Speaker 1: in some point I say, I'm tired of waiting for

798
00:51:41,401 --> 00:51:43,801
Speaker 1: the ambulance, so I want to go out of here.

799
00:51:43,881 --> 00:51:49,881
Speaker 1: I try to. Yes, they say they tried to give

800
00:51:49,961 --> 00:51:52,601
Speaker 1: me come. I said, like, I'm tired of waiting.

801
00:51:55,401 --> 00:51:56,961
Speaker 2: What was going for your mind? When the when the

802
00:51:57,001 --> 00:51:59,801
Speaker 2: police and the ambulance actually got to you, when the

803
00:51:59,881 --> 00:52:02,881
Speaker 2: paramedics got to you, were you like this is it now?

804
00:52:03,201 --> 00:52:05,681
Speaker 2: I'm saved and I'm happy, And then get me out

805
00:52:05,681 --> 00:52:08,081
Speaker 2: of here? If you know, freaking I don't know, like

806
00:52:08,161 --> 00:52:11,321
Speaker 2: what is going for your head? Because the stories you've

807
00:52:11,321 --> 00:52:13,481
Speaker 2: told me, in the way that you've said that you were,

808
00:52:13,121 --> 00:52:14,241
Speaker 2: you were calm.

809
00:52:14,041 --> 00:52:17,361
Speaker 1: As anything, like I was still calm. The police woman

810
00:52:17,481 --> 00:52:18,681
Speaker 1: she was, I'm surprised.

811
00:52:18,361 --> 00:52:20,161
Speaker 2: You and put your your iPods back in years and

812
00:52:20,161 --> 00:52:21,401
Speaker 2: listen to music when you were on there.

813
00:52:21,481 --> 00:52:24,921
Speaker 1: She was in shock because I have been come. All

814
00:52:25,081 --> 00:52:28,881
Speaker 1: that moment, even when I say I give up, I

815
00:52:29,001 --> 00:52:31,561
Speaker 1: was calm. When I say I'm tired to awaiting, how

816
00:52:31,601 --> 00:52:35,281
Speaker 1: I want to and go away, I was calm all

817
00:52:35,801 --> 00:52:40,721
Speaker 1: that moment. Every minute, I was calm. And just when

818
00:52:40,761 --> 00:52:46,521
Speaker 1: they arrive, I feel relieve because I'm person who have

819
00:52:46,681 --> 00:52:51,721
Speaker 1: been resolving hand all the situations in my family and

820
00:52:51,801 --> 00:52:55,241
Speaker 1: stuff like that. So when I anice, the police there,

821
00:52:55,681 --> 00:52:59,041
Speaker 1: the paramedics, they take over of the situation. They're relieving

822
00:52:59,161 --> 00:53:02,041
Speaker 1: the faces of the people. I say, okay, right now,

823
00:53:02,081 --> 00:53:07,201
Speaker 1: I can focus, like, oh, my body more than before,

824
00:53:08,001 --> 00:53:11,681
Speaker 1: because before everyone was looking at me, asking me if

825
00:53:11,681 --> 00:53:14,801
Speaker 1: I still breathing, if I'm still there, and stuff like that.

826
00:53:15,681 --> 00:53:23,841
Speaker 1: So mostly I never feel scary to overwhelm anything like that.

827
00:53:24,281 --> 00:53:29,201
Speaker 1: I was calm because I'm like that in hard situation.

828
00:53:29,361 --> 00:53:33,921
Speaker 1: I'm calm. I'm not panicking, and I was trying to

829
00:53:34,081 --> 00:53:41,081
Speaker 1: give that feeling to people who were around me. And

830
00:53:41,161 --> 00:53:45,921
Speaker 1: when the police arrive, the paramedic, I just focus on breeding.

831
00:53:46,201 --> 00:53:49,001
Speaker 1: And when they arrive and they say, oh, if you

832
00:53:49,081 --> 00:53:52,121
Speaker 1: feel like sleep, you can sleep, and say no way,

833
00:53:52,561 --> 00:53:54,961
Speaker 1: and they say why not, because you already told me

834
00:53:55,081 --> 00:53:58,601
Speaker 1: I can't die today. I can't sleep so I already

835
00:53:58,681 --> 00:54:04,241
Speaker 1: have instructions, so no way, it's impossible that I can

836
00:54:04,361 --> 00:54:08,241
Speaker 1: sleep right know, following instruction. I'm doing my best because

837
00:54:08,281 --> 00:54:11,641
Speaker 1: I told her I will do my best today.

838
00:54:11,761 --> 00:54:13,201
Speaker 2: What was it like? What was it like when when

839
00:54:13,241 --> 00:54:15,961
Speaker 2: the paramatt were taking you out? Could you feel that

840
00:54:16,241 --> 00:54:18,401
Speaker 2: there was a lot of chaotic things going on that

841
00:54:18,401 --> 00:54:19,961
Speaker 2: anyone was still panicking?

842
00:54:20,001 --> 00:54:23,081
Speaker 1: Or was it you know like movies when you see

843
00:54:23,281 --> 00:54:25,681
Speaker 1: like taking Yeah, it was like that.

844
00:54:26,161 --> 00:54:28,601
Speaker 2: Yes, it's panic stations everywhere and people.

845
00:54:28,641 --> 00:54:32,641
Speaker 1: Yeah, people working around, talking on the phone on their radios,

846
00:54:32,801 --> 00:54:36,481
Speaker 1: all the movements around. But I feel better when they

847
00:54:36,561 --> 00:54:40,561
Speaker 1: take me out. I'm breathing fresh air. It was like

848
00:54:41,041 --> 00:54:42,321
Speaker 1: a big relief. Yes.

849
00:54:42,921 --> 00:54:44,161
Speaker 2: How was How was the operation?

850
00:54:45,601 --> 00:54:49,241
Speaker 1: I don't know. I remember like at the end it

851
00:54:49,321 --> 00:54:52,761
Speaker 1: was just like, you know, they take me out and waiting.

852
00:54:52,961 --> 00:54:56,201
Speaker 1: They saying, don't worry, we just figure out what what

853
00:54:56,401 --> 00:54:59,481
Speaker 1: the ambulance we can take. So they said, oh, does

854
00:54:59,521 --> 00:55:01,881
Speaker 1: the ambulance we can put you? So they put me

855
00:55:01,961 --> 00:55:04,841
Speaker 1: in the ambulance and then they couldn't find a driver,

856
00:55:05,201 --> 00:55:09,481
Speaker 1: So find a driver, so you have no driver for

857
00:55:09,521 --> 00:55:09,961
Speaker 1: the ambulance.

858
00:55:10,761 --> 00:55:12,721
Speaker 2: They've just taken you something like half an hour to

859
00:55:12,761 --> 00:55:15,561
Speaker 2: get to you to get your blood.

860
00:55:15,721 --> 00:55:19,281
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know I was bleeding. They are waiting.

861
00:55:19,361 --> 00:55:21,481
Speaker 1: I was just like, oh, come on. First of all,

862
00:55:21,521 --> 00:55:26,641
Speaker 1: they couldn't get inside for for so long. Then they

863
00:55:26,721 --> 00:55:29,361
Speaker 1: take me outside. I was waiting for I don't know

864
00:55:29,881 --> 00:55:33,841
Speaker 1: how many minutes to just know which ambulance.

865
00:55:33,441 --> 00:55:34,041
Speaker 2: You're going to get.

866
00:55:34,881 --> 00:55:38,041
Speaker 1: And then we don't have a driver. It was like,

867
00:55:38,201 --> 00:55:42,201
Speaker 1: come on, something else today. It was it's already like

868
00:55:43,041 --> 00:55:43,761
Speaker 1: awful day.

869
00:55:43,881 --> 00:55:45,641
Speaker 2: There was no driver for the ambulance.

870
00:55:45,761 --> 00:55:48,681
Speaker 1: No driver. So the policeman who was like making pressure

871
00:55:48,721 --> 00:55:52,801
Speaker 1: on my wood. Yeah, the paramedic asked her, do you

872
00:55:52,841 --> 00:55:56,401
Speaker 1: know how to drive an ambulance? And she said, I

873
00:55:56,441 --> 00:56:00,361
Speaker 1: only drive once in my life. And he said, like, uh,

874
00:56:00,801 --> 00:56:02,801
Speaker 1: what am I to try to that? She said, to

875
00:56:02,841 --> 00:56:05,161
Speaker 1: save her wife. Yes, of course, one hundred percent. And

876
00:56:07,241 --> 00:56:11,041
Speaker 1: the policewoman drive the ambulance and it was the second

877
00:56:11,081 --> 00:56:17,721
Speaker 1: time in her life that she drive an ambulance. Jesus,

878
00:56:17,881 --> 00:56:20,641
Speaker 1: it was a come on something else, Come on, I'm ready,

879
00:56:21,001 --> 00:56:25,001
Speaker 1: give me more, give me more, because just.

880
00:56:26,041 --> 00:56:31,641
Speaker 2: Right you must be you like you must have the

881
00:56:31,681 --> 00:56:35,641
Speaker 2: most unluckiest person in the world, like with your life

882
00:56:36,321 --> 00:56:40,041
Speaker 2: up until like like from the thirteenth of the September

883
00:56:40,361 --> 00:56:45,401
Speaker 2: of April and going backwards. It's like you must think

884
00:56:45,401 --> 00:56:46,721
Speaker 2: that nothing ever goes right for you.

885
00:56:48,241 --> 00:56:52,681
Speaker 1: Yes, but yes, as I told you, I'm always trying

886
00:56:52,921 --> 00:57:00,161
Speaker 1: to work with the tools, they what I have. Even

887
00:57:00,201 --> 00:57:03,521
Speaker 1: if I feel alone, it doesn't matter. Even if I'm

888
00:57:03,561 --> 00:57:04,761
Speaker 1: not happy, it doesn't matter.

889
00:57:05,521 --> 00:57:07,761
Speaker 2: So the sagey went, okay, yeah.

890
00:57:07,761 --> 00:57:13,841
Speaker 1: It takes between four and five hours the operation, and

891
00:57:13,921 --> 00:57:18,241
Speaker 1: they mostly at some point they almost lost me. Then

892
00:57:18,441 --> 00:57:22,321
Speaker 1: just after the operation, then explained that my brain doesn't

893
00:57:22,441 --> 00:57:26,521
Speaker 1: receive all the oxysi for a long time that I need.

894
00:57:26,561 --> 00:57:30,641
Speaker 1: So they were worried if I had some issues in

895
00:57:30,681 --> 00:57:36,601
Speaker 1: their neurology level. Also if my body recover well or

896
00:57:36,681 --> 00:57:39,641
Speaker 1: not after an operation. I don't know.

897
00:57:39,641 --> 00:57:42,401
Speaker 2: How's how's your How's your mental state after it?

898
00:57:43,201 --> 00:57:44,961
Speaker 1: Some days I have nightmares?

899
00:57:45,041 --> 00:57:49,241
Speaker 2: Some days No, Actually, that's you know what when I

900
00:57:49,281 --> 00:57:51,041
Speaker 2: when I reached out to you, I remember this when

901
00:57:51,081 --> 00:57:53,161
Speaker 2: I reached out to you, and this stuck with me

902
00:57:53,481 --> 00:57:55,761
Speaker 2: when I left you, actually and when I met you

903
00:57:55,801 --> 00:57:57,881
Speaker 2: to meet up to ask you to come on and

904
00:57:57,921 --> 00:58:00,281
Speaker 2: share your story, and we were walking down George Street

905
00:58:00,881 --> 00:58:04,321
Speaker 2: and I remember, like you know, there was a massive

906
00:58:04,321 --> 00:58:06,321
Speaker 2: crown that was gone through my head. I remember going

907
00:58:06,321 --> 00:58:08,881
Speaker 2: through my head, Wow, okay, is this a good decision

908
00:58:08,921 --> 00:58:10,481
Speaker 2: to go where you want to go to have this

909
00:58:10,921 --> 00:58:12,681
Speaker 2: sit down and have a drink to talk about this.

910
00:58:13,321 --> 00:58:14,841
Speaker 2: And I was thinking okay, and then all of a

911
00:58:14,841 --> 00:58:17,961
Speaker 2: sudden you stopped me. And I remember this clearly, and

912
00:58:18,001 --> 00:58:20,001
Speaker 2: you asked me politely. You said, okay, if I hold

913
00:58:20,041 --> 00:58:25,521
Speaker 2: your arm, and I said yeah, And I remember you

914
00:58:25,561 --> 00:58:29,921
Speaker 2: slowly gently grabbed me up my arm, and then as well,

915
00:58:29,961 --> 00:58:34,041
Speaker 2: walking the grip got tighter and it got tighter, and

916
00:58:34,081 --> 00:58:40,241
Speaker 2: then it was like it was a feeling that of

917
00:58:40,321 --> 00:58:45,721
Speaker 2: a frightened person. And I remember I was trying to

918
00:58:45,761 --> 00:58:48,881
Speaker 2: guide you through a lot of people walking towards us,

919
00:58:49,361 --> 00:58:51,961
Speaker 2: and I could see how, even in your body and

920
00:58:52,001 --> 00:58:55,081
Speaker 2: your face, and i'm from the strength of your arm,

921
00:58:55,281 --> 00:58:56,841
Speaker 2: that you were scared.

922
00:58:59,041 --> 00:59:00,601
Speaker 1: Yes, I am most of the time.

923
00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:03,281
Speaker 2: Do you do you still feel that when you're walking

924
00:59:03,321 --> 00:59:04,881
Speaker 2: by yourself? Because you told me that was the first

925
00:59:04,921 --> 00:59:09,081
Speaker 2: time you actually ventured out. And that's another thing. When

926
00:59:09,361 --> 00:59:12,721
Speaker 2: when I asked you to meet me and you said

927
00:59:12,881 --> 00:59:15,921
Speaker 2: meet me at the Queen Victoria Buildings, I was shocked

928
00:59:16,641 --> 00:59:19,401
Speaker 2: because I thought, wow, you must be over it, like

929
00:59:19,641 --> 00:59:21,641
Speaker 2: you must be okay, you know it's not affecting you.

930
00:59:21,921 --> 00:59:23,721
Speaker 2: And when I asked you, it was the first time

931
00:59:23,801 --> 00:59:25,041
Speaker 2: you actually ventured.

932
00:59:24,721 --> 00:59:27,241
Speaker 1: Out Yes alone.

933
00:59:27,041 --> 00:59:29,241
Speaker 2: Alone, Yeah, to a shopping center.

934
00:59:29,601 --> 00:59:30,761
Speaker 1: Yeah.

935
00:59:31,161 --> 00:59:33,761
Speaker 2: Do you still feel that when you're walking and you

936
00:59:33,801 --> 00:59:37,241
Speaker 2: see a male or anyone come towards you in a way,

937
00:59:37,761 --> 00:59:39,281
Speaker 2: do you feel scared?

938
00:59:40,441 --> 00:59:45,041
Speaker 1: I don't like the physical contact. Okay, I'm started feeling

939
00:59:45,641 --> 00:59:49,241
Speaker 1: not nervous, but I disliked that my change my face

940
00:59:49,361 --> 00:59:52,601
Speaker 1: changed straight away. When I have people near to me,

941
00:59:52,721 --> 00:59:56,081
Speaker 1: too close to my body. If someone to push me

942
00:59:56,201 --> 01:00:02,241
Speaker 1: or something, I start to feel. I don't know if

943
01:00:02,281 --> 01:00:05,081
Speaker 1: it does. I can say scared, but I don't. I

944
01:00:05,081 --> 01:00:05,601
Speaker 1: don't like that.

945
01:00:06,241 --> 01:00:07,441
Speaker 2: You been back to yet?

946
01:00:07,961 --> 01:00:11,801
Speaker 1: No yet, I have. I have prepared one day. I

947
01:00:11,841 --> 01:00:17,721
Speaker 1: already spoke with the person on charge, so yeah, I'm

948
01:00:17,761 --> 01:00:22,721
Speaker 1: planning to go there, but not Bondai Center. I have

949
01:00:22,961 --> 01:00:26,681
Speaker 1: been in a meeting with one lawyer near to the place,

950
01:00:26,841 --> 01:00:30,961
Speaker 1: and that's they had my first panic attack. Then after attack,

951
01:00:31,241 --> 01:00:33,521
Speaker 1: I spoke to my psychologists as she said, that's a

952
01:00:33,561 --> 01:00:36,681
Speaker 1: panic attack. You s right now. You know when your

953
01:00:36,721 --> 01:00:39,001
Speaker 1: body reacted like that, it's a panic attack.

954
01:00:40,561 --> 01:00:43,001
Speaker 2: Have you have you have you seen as anyone reached

955
01:00:43,001 --> 01:00:45,201
Speaker 2: out to you from Bondai or the police or anything

956
01:00:45,241 --> 01:00:47,441
Speaker 2: like that to see how you are, or they even

957
01:00:47,801 --> 01:00:49,321
Speaker 2: at the hospital to even see it.

958
01:00:49,601 --> 01:00:53,041
Speaker 1: No, no from the Bondai. But the woman who was

959
01:00:54,841 --> 01:00:59,601
Speaker 1: first on my would yes, she find my phone contact

960
01:00:59,721 --> 01:01:03,161
Speaker 1: and I spoke with her on the phone and she said,

961
01:01:03,281 --> 01:01:08,721
Speaker 1: you were like a soldier who was always quiet, breathing, talking,

962
01:01:09,321 --> 01:01:15,561
Speaker 1: manage all the situation perfect. So that's the point. And

963
01:01:15,961 --> 01:01:19,121
Speaker 1: my psychologists said at the same yes, you are like

964
01:01:19,201 --> 01:01:22,441
Speaker 1: a soldier, but that's not enough for living.

965
01:01:24,161 --> 01:01:25,681
Speaker 2: I reckon, I know the answer to this one, but

966
01:01:26,081 --> 01:01:28,361
Speaker 2: do you have a Do you ever think to yourself,

967
01:01:28,881 --> 01:01:30,641
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have gone to Bandaia.

968
01:01:31,121 --> 01:01:34,601
Speaker 1: If that's your destiny, will happen. The only part I

969
01:01:34,881 --> 01:01:39,241
Speaker 1: just when I speak about this with my friend, with

970
01:01:39,281 --> 01:01:43,601
Speaker 1: my sister, I'm just saying, like I feel, it's just

971
01:01:43,801 --> 01:01:47,841
Speaker 1: too much for one life. It's too much trauma, just

972
01:01:47,881 --> 01:01:51,161
Speaker 1: for one life. All the situations I have been true,

973
01:01:52,201 --> 01:01:56,361
Speaker 1: even for my worst enemy, I won't desire. That's just

974
01:01:56,361 --> 01:02:01,281
Speaker 1: too much. I'm really tired of being a survival. I'm

975
01:02:01,401 --> 01:02:06,001
Speaker 1: really tired just so when it's happening one day, that

976
01:02:06,361 --> 01:02:10,521
Speaker 1: was the first option I managed. This is mine, this

977
01:02:10,641 --> 01:02:14,881
Speaker 1: is my opportunity. Yeah, because live in this body with

978
01:02:15,081 --> 01:02:21,481
Speaker 1: all the history, all the traumas, it's too heavy. It's

979
01:02:21,521 --> 01:02:26,321
Speaker 1: really too heavy. And right now I have no only

980
01:02:26,481 --> 01:02:33,721
Speaker 1: emotional and psychological boots and situation to work with my psychologists. Also,

981
01:02:33,841 --> 01:02:36,361
Speaker 1: when I look at myself on the mirror, I have

982
01:02:36,641 --> 01:02:40,281
Speaker 1: all that in my body. Just remember me, Just remind me,

983
01:02:40,361 --> 01:02:44,961
Speaker 1: like Leah, don't forget all the situations have been true.

984
01:02:45,281 --> 01:02:48,921
Speaker 1: Also you have this one here in Australia. Wow.

985
01:02:49,481 --> 01:02:52,121
Speaker 2: Yeah, I seen the pictures that you sent me. I

986
01:02:52,201 --> 01:02:57,361
Speaker 2: seen the scars from it, but it's mostly it's it's

987
01:02:57,401 --> 01:03:00,001
Speaker 2: mostly the scars and you in your head that are

988
01:03:00,401 --> 01:03:04,841
Speaker 2: more painful than anything. Yes, because I remember when I

989
01:03:04,841 --> 01:03:07,481
Speaker 2: said down with you and and I wanted you to

990
01:03:07,521 --> 01:03:10,841
Speaker 2: share your story of what happened on the thirteenth of April,

991
01:03:11,921 --> 01:03:16,761
Speaker 2: and then when you told me about your younger life,

992
01:03:16,921 --> 01:03:19,921
Speaker 2: and I just went, oh, my fucking god. And this

993
01:03:20,001 --> 01:03:23,961
Speaker 2: is what I mean by So everybody who would have

994
01:03:23,961 --> 01:03:26,001
Speaker 2: seen the papers of what happened to you on that

995
01:03:26,121 --> 01:03:29,321
Speaker 2: day and they oh, that's terrible, or she gets stabbed,

996
01:03:29,361 --> 01:03:30,921
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she'll get better, but they don't know

997
01:03:30,961 --> 01:03:34,481
Speaker 2: the traumas that you've been through all your life and

998
01:03:34,641 --> 01:03:37,281
Speaker 2: you know this is this is you know, it's a

999
01:03:37,361 --> 01:03:40,161
Speaker 2: it's a it's a fucking eye opener to know what

1000
01:03:40,201 --> 01:03:40,961
Speaker 2: you've been through.

1001
01:03:41,401 --> 01:03:43,441
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember when you said I would like to

1002
01:03:45,001 --> 01:03:48,241
Speaker 1: talk about you and about the trauma you have been through.

1003
01:03:48,481 --> 01:03:51,881
Speaker 1: And I'll ask you which one when.

1004
01:03:51,721 --> 01:03:54,281
Speaker 2: You said that. I remember when you said that, because

1005
01:03:54,281 --> 01:03:56,201
Speaker 2: you might remember we were walking down George for it

1006
01:03:56,201 --> 01:03:58,321
Speaker 2: and you said, so, how long does the podcast go for?

1007
01:03:58,561 --> 01:04:00,761
Speaker 2: And I said, well, depends, it could go for you know,

1008
01:04:00,841 --> 01:04:03,041
Speaker 2: half an hour for the five I don't think that's enough.

1009
01:04:03,201 --> 01:04:04,921
Speaker 2: And I just went, what what are you going to

1010
01:04:04,921 --> 01:04:05,601
Speaker 2: tell me here?

1011
01:04:07,441 --> 01:04:11,041
Speaker 1: And I'm only saying some superficial stuff, So I'm not

1012
01:04:11,201 --> 01:04:14,761
Speaker 1: going deeper because of what it takes forever?

1013
01:04:15,521 --> 01:04:18,401
Speaker 2: What what? What? What lies ahead for you? Now? Are

1014
01:04:18,441 --> 01:04:20,401
Speaker 2: you going to stay in Australia? Do you think is

1015
01:04:20,441 --> 01:04:22,081
Speaker 2: this your home? Now? You're happy here?

1016
01:04:22,241 --> 01:04:24,721
Speaker 1: I would like to, Yes, I would like to. I

1017
01:04:24,721 --> 01:04:28,041
Speaker 1: would like to stay here in Australia. My dream is

1018
01:04:28,561 --> 01:04:31,361
Speaker 1: I never have the possibility to live alone. No, no,

1019
01:04:31,561 --> 01:04:35,761
Speaker 1: even my own room. Never, So I would like to

1020
01:04:35,801 --> 01:04:41,761
Speaker 1: at least have the opportunity to stay in Australia, have

1021
01:04:42,081 --> 01:04:45,881
Speaker 1: the opportunity to live alone, to discore myself because I

1022
01:04:45,921 --> 01:04:49,241
Speaker 1: don't know myself and bring my dogs here.

1023
01:04:50,001 --> 01:04:52,801
Speaker 2: Yes, I feel like in the in the short space

1024
01:04:52,841 --> 01:04:56,081
Speaker 2: of time i've known you, I think we've become like

1025
01:04:56,321 --> 01:04:58,721
Speaker 2: close in a way, even though you're very busy.

1026
01:05:02,841 --> 01:05:04,721
Speaker 1: But that's how I sort of.

1027
01:05:07,481 --> 01:05:10,041
Speaker 2: And I've got to know you now in in such

1028
01:05:10,081 --> 01:05:13,521
Speaker 2: a in a different way, and you know what, well,

1029
01:05:13,881 --> 01:05:16,201
Speaker 2: i'd like to say this, and it's up to you

1030
01:05:16,841 --> 01:05:20,041
Speaker 2: what you do, but when you are ready to go

1031
01:05:20,081 --> 01:05:22,801
Speaker 2: to bond Di Junction, I'd like to be there with you,

1032
01:05:23,041 --> 01:05:25,961
Speaker 2: only because you know what. I've seen what you went

1033
01:05:26,001 --> 01:05:28,881
Speaker 2: through in a way, and I could feel it when

1034
01:05:28,921 --> 01:05:32,201
Speaker 2: you held my arm going down George Street, and that

1035
01:05:32,361 --> 01:05:36,201
Speaker 2: was an eye opener for me because that was real

1036
01:05:36,561 --> 01:05:38,721
Speaker 2: and it was I felt it, you know what I mean.

1037
01:05:38,841 --> 01:05:43,121
Speaker 2: I felt someone trembling, and I can just imagine how

1038
01:05:43,161 --> 01:05:46,001
Speaker 2: you're going to feel the day you actually go. I

1039
01:05:46,481 --> 01:05:48,441
Speaker 2: need to do this. I need to go back there,

1040
01:05:48,561 --> 01:05:51,361
Speaker 2: otherwise it's going to eat at you. And you know

1041
01:05:51,401 --> 01:05:53,481
Speaker 2: what if if so be it, you have to hold

1042
01:05:53,521 --> 01:05:55,321
Speaker 2: my arm to go through that again, you know what

1043
01:05:55,361 --> 01:05:56,841
Speaker 2: I mean, at least it won't be a crowd there

1044
01:05:56,841 --> 01:06:00,921
Speaker 2: this time. Hopefully, but you know that's yeah, that was

1045
01:06:01,121 --> 01:06:03,881
Speaker 2: an eye opener for me, and I didn't even know

1046
01:06:03,961 --> 01:06:05,841
Speaker 2: half the story by then. You know what you're going

1047
01:06:05,881 --> 01:06:09,961
Speaker 2: to tell me. I really hope that you find some

1048
01:06:10,081 --> 01:06:14,881
Speaker 2: good in you now that no more shit happens to you,

1049
01:06:15,721 --> 01:06:18,641
Speaker 2: and you get your dogs here and you can live

1050
01:06:18,681 --> 01:06:19,801
Speaker 2: a normal life from now on.

1051
01:06:20,441 --> 01:06:22,081
Speaker 1: Yeah, I need time.

1052
01:06:21,881 --> 01:06:25,641
Speaker 2: For that to repor Thank you for sharing that story.

1053
01:06:25,841 --> 01:06:26,601
Speaker 1: It's a pleasure.