Speaker 1: So you've taken a brain that's already struggling to regulate
Speaker 1: and you're flooding it with dope. Mean, so you're essentially
Speaker 1: handing a very unstable situation.
Speaker 2: A bit match.
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome back to Stepping Up, the podcast where
Speaker 1: we talk about real life, real routines and the messy
Speaker 1: middle of actually trying to get it together. I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Steph Pace, and if you're new here, high welcome. I'm
Speaker 1: here to help as much as I can. Please subscribe
Speaker 1: if you haven't, because you will not want to miss
Speaker 1: the episodes coming up this season, because I'm literally going
Speaker 1: to be helping you master your messy life. All right, guys,
Speaker 1: I'm want to be completely honest with you. Our afternoons
Speaker 1: lately have been an absolute shit show, and that's me
Speaker 1: kind of sugarcoating it. And I'm fully aware that school's
Speaker 1: well and truly back a long time ago, which is
Speaker 1: saying something, but that's the reality of it at the moment.
Speaker 1: And if you've ever picked up your kids from school,
Speaker 1: you would know that about four minutes later, you're standing
Speaker 1: in your kitchen watching them punch on and wondering how
Speaker 1: people in eighteen hundreds did this without a single locked
Speaker 1: bathroom to escape to. This episode is for you basically,
Speaker 1: because we all know the animal that our children turn
Speaker 1: into after school is a whole other.
Speaker 2: Realm of beast.
Speaker 1: And here's the thing, even if you don't have kids,
Speaker 1: stay because what I'm talking about today is building a
Speaker 1: PM routine that really works for you. Yes, it's tailored
Speaker 1: towards the kids, but the things I'm talking about, the
Speaker 1: psychology and all the things, is linked to us as well.
Speaker 1: It's about your nervous system for your home, for your sanity,
Speaker 1: and even if you're managing tiny homes, of household, of
Speaker 1: business or whatever, these systems are going to change your
Speaker 1: afternoons for good. So today I want to be sharing
Speaker 1: the rules that we have in our house that we
Speaker 1: lost sight of and we've brought back and now it's
Speaker 1: saved my sanity again and it stops me crying in
Speaker 1: the pantry as much.
Speaker 2: That's the goals. Progress over perfection people.
Speaker 1: Now, before we get into it, a bit of a
Speaker 1: life up jad the twenty twenty seven planners. As you
Speaker 1: guys know or if you knew here, I have my
Speaker 1: own brand staff Pace Planners, Planners for messy minds.
Speaker 2: Of the world.
Speaker 1: Now we do yearly planners, and we're actually well underway.
Speaker 1: We start the following year's planners usually by February, well February,
Speaker 1: and there's so much involved in creating a plan. I
Speaker 1: can't even tell you. I still remember when I first started.
Speaker 1: I made my first plan ever. I had so many
Speaker 1: dodgy drawings. I used to have like notebooks out and
Speaker 1: I draw what I wanted and how I wanted it
Speaker 1: to look, and my poor graphic designer had to decipher it.
Speaker 1: But we've come so so fast since Sid and now
Speaker 1: I've got a team, and it's just it was incredible,
Speaker 1: and you know, like it's just so good to be
Speaker 1: able to create tools for people that aren't Type a's,
Speaker 1: because look, I'm not a Type A. I don't have
Speaker 1: an alarm clock. I don't even have a concept of time.
Speaker 1: For me, there's either now or not now. If it's
Speaker 1: not now, I'm not thinking about it. And that usually
Speaker 1: means I'm late to things, which I hate. But that's
Speaker 1: what's going on for me in my world. And also
Speaker 1: I've just really been like focusing on, you know, changing
Speaker 1: up my routine a little bit, because, as you know,
Speaker 1: you go through seasons of your life, things change and
Speaker 1: it's not like a cookie cutter. You need to change
Speaker 1: things up. And this is one of those things with
Speaker 1: our afternoon routine. Obviously this was different when the kids
Speaker 1: were little, like before school, but now school like they're
Speaker 1: at school all day and it releases a lot of
Speaker 1: emotions which I'll get into in a minute, and that
Speaker 1: means we need to change it up a little bit
Speaker 1: to work with our family. And I always say this,
Speaker 1: like in business we have, you know, you do quarterly reviews,
Speaker 1: you look at what's working and what's not, and then
Speaker 1: you workshop a way to make the business run smoother.
Speaker 2: But we don't do that at home. We don't do
Speaker 2: that with our families.
Speaker 1: We just let it kind of take over and then
Speaker 1: we all wonder why everyone hates each other by six pm.
Speaker 1: So this is kind of what we're doing here and
Speaker 1: the afternoon akay witching hour, and I do believe there's
Speaker 1: witching hour for everyone, even myself included. There's ways we
Speaker 1: can work with our brain and our emotions and get
Speaker 1: around that and also just help future us so getting
Speaker 1: organized and planning. But when I say that this is
Speaker 1: realistic stuff, this is not I'm not going to make
Speaker 1: you do a moon.
Speaker 2: Things like this is just realistic things.
Speaker 1: So this is why you know the season I'm in
Speaker 1: right now and the things I just talked about, this
Speaker 1: is why I've really been honing in on our after
Speaker 1: routine with school. So let's get into it. So here's
Speaker 1: what's happened. For the past few weeks. Our afternoons have
Speaker 1: been a bloody mess. Everyone is so disregulated. They're like
Speaker 1: a bunch of hyaenas, including myself. You know, there's snack drama,
Speaker 1: there's like who got the pink carp It's full of meltdowns,
Speaker 1: including myself. And I was I remember I was like
Speaker 1: leaning on the quick kitchen bench one afternoon when some
Speaker 1: shit was going down and I was like, I was
Speaker 1: it always been this hard, And I realized it wasn't.
Speaker 1: And that's because some of the systems I did have
Speaker 1: in place before had slipped and I didn't realize because again,
Speaker 1: things happen, and so it was time for me to
Speaker 1: really like sit back and look at what's not working
Speaker 1: and get these systems back in place so our family
Speaker 1: can like each other again. Okay, So I went back
Speaker 1: to basics. I sat down and wrote it out what
Speaker 1: actually works and what are the non negotiable So things
Speaker 1: like dinner that's like a non negotiable and then also
Speaker 1: just like prepped for school the next day and things
Speaker 1: like that. So that's what today's episode is all about
Speaker 1: our after school systems. These are the rules that make
Speaker 1: our afternoons run so much smoother. And as I said,
Speaker 1: you don't need to have kids for this episode. This
Speaker 1: will help everyone. Now, this all helps stop the spiral
Speaker 1: before it starts and also save your future self and
Speaker 1: save your kids.
Speaker 2: From a very cranky mother, which is not fun for anyone.
Speaker 1: So the first rule is rule number one. Regulate first,
Speaker 1: everything else second. So as soon as the kids walk
Speaker 1: in the door, that is the first rule. It's time
Speaker 1: for them to regulate. You know, I know every single
Speaker 1: one of you has experienced this with your kids. How
Speaker 1: feral they get, they get absolutely feral.
Speaker 2: I don't know why. I just had an accent then.
Speaker 1: And we understand, Like we get that they've been holding
Speaker 1: in their emotions all day. Think about when you were
Speaker 1: at school. You have to conform, you have to follow
Speaker 1: the rules, you have to learn. There's like friendship drama,
Speaker 1: Like it's a lot for a little person people to
Speaker 1: deal with, even for us. It's a lot for us
Speaker 1: to deal with that thirty five. So when they get
Speaker 1: home to their save space, to you, their safe space,
Speaker 1: they unravel. They go absolutely feral, which is so beautiful
Speaker 1: that they feel safe with us, but it's horrible for
Speaker 1: us to deal with. And I think once I learnt
Speaker 1: that part because I didn't realize at first, I was like,
Speaker 1: why are you so feral every afternoon? And of course
Speaker 1: it makes sense, and there's other things that are going on,
Speaker 1: which I'll get into, but you are their safe space,
Speaker 1: so they are going to let you deal with it.
Speaker 1: And the thing is too Just remember it's kind of
Speaker 1: like you know when you period and you have like
Speaker 1: PMS and you always like take it out if you
Speaker 1: get moody, like me, I will take it out on
Speaker 1: the people I love the most.
Speaker 2: And that's the same with the kids.
Speaker 1: Because they feel safe, they're going to let you deal
Speaker 1: with all their shit. Now here's the science behind why
Speaker 1: they are so feral. On another level, because you know,
Speaker 1: I like to show you the receipts and I'm not
Speaker 1: just talking shmack, and I promise this is worth it,
Speaker 1: So just listen. So once you actually understand what's happening
Speaker 1: in your kids' brain after school, and honestly your brain
Speaker 1: as well, because this happens with us the whole regulate
Speaker 1: first everything else later.
Speaker 2: Rule will stop feeling.
Speaker 1: Like, oh yeah, cool idea, but it's actually a non negotiable.
Speaker 1: It'll become a must. Now, there are two parts of
Speaker 1: the brain I want you to know about. There's the
Speaker 1: prefrontal cortex this is the front of your brain, and
Speaker 1: the sensible one, you know, the one I still question
Speaker 1: if mind's fully developed at the age of thirty five,
Speaker 1: but anyway, this is responsible for logic, decision making, regulating emotions,
Speaker 1: thinking before you speak, basically the adult in the room.
Speaker 1: That's the part of your brain. Now there's the amygdala.
Speaker 1: This is a deep, primitive part of your brain. It's
Speaker 1: like your alarm system. So the one that goes like danger, threat,
Speaker 1: react basically before the sensible part, which is the prefrontal cortex,
Speaker 1: has even had a chance to open its eyes, so
Speaker 1: it kind of gets in there first. So research tells
Speaker 1: us when we are stressed, overwhelmed, or disregulated, the amygdala
Speaker 1: basically hijacks the prefrontal cortex, so it runs as a show.
Speaker 1: So the crazy, reactive second cousin is running around running
Speaker 1: the show, and the mother, who's very calm and centered,
Speaker 1: the adult, the prefrontal cortex hasn't even caught up yet.
Speaker 1: They're not running the show at the moment. So it's
Speaker 1: the alarm system that really takes over and the mother,
Speaker 1: the sensible part of the brain goes offline. So in
Speaker 1: plain English, when your kid walks through that front door
Speaker 1: after six hours of holding their shit together, their alarm
Speaker 1: is running the show. The crazy second cousin. I don't
Speaker 1: know why I came up with that analogy, but this
Speaker 1: is what we're going with. And crazy second cousin's name
Speaker 1: is is Amy the amygdala. And you cannot reason or
Speaker 1: instruct or have a calm conversation with Amy, okay, your
Speaker 1: child right now because the brain is not available for
Speaker 1: those things.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: The mother, the prefrontal cortex, she's not running the show
Speaker 1: right now. So when you're standing there asking them what
Speaker 1: they did at school today or you know, and they
Speaker 1: lose it over something completely ridiculous, they're not being dramatic.
Speaker 1: They are literally they literally don't have access to that
Speaker 1: part of their brain that would allow them to respect
Speaker 1: in a way of a normal human. The lights are on,
Speaker 1: but nobody's home upstairs. That's what's going on, okay, And
Speaker 1: this is I said, this is not just the kids,
Speaker 1: this is us as well. Like I know, like you know,
Speaker 1: when we get really reactive and we go into fight
Speaker 1: or flight, this is when Amy is running the show
Speaker 1: in our brain, so we're not really like you can't
Speaker 1: think clearly. And this is why the afternoon is like
Speaker 1: a collusion of two dysregulated nervous systems trying to interact
Speaker 1: with each other, which is us versus them, and you're standing.
Speaker 2: They're wondering why is it like this?
Speaker 1: Why is this so painful? And the fix is actually
Speaker 1: quite simple. You give the brain time to come back
Speaker 1: online before you ask it to do anything. Thirty minutes
Speaker 1: is good enough. And it's like things like comfory clothes
Speaker 1: and I'll go into it like anything non stimulation. So
Speaker 1: our regulation routine, which I'll tell you what ours is
Speaker 1: in a minute. It lets Amy go sit back in
Speaker 1: her seat and Mum can come back up and run
Speaker 1: the show in the brain, and then everything else is
Speaker 1: more possible. And this isn't like soft parenting. This is neuroscience.
Speaker 1: Guys like this isn't just us, you know, and obviously
Speaker 1: we like to be very aware parents, but this is
Speaker 1: just how our brain works. So this is why we
Speaker 1: have rule number one. Regulate first, everything else second. And
Speaker 1: this changed everything for us once we started doing this,
Speaker 1: and the girls a lot of the time they will say,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this, I want to do this, this,
Speaker 1: and this because Amy's up in their brain running the
Speaker 1: show and they're trying to chase dopamine. She wants the dopamine,
Speaker 1: she wants the screens, she wants this, but no, Amy
Speaker 1: needs to learn to sit her air down.
Speaker 2: So when the girls get home.
Speaker 1: The first priority, and the only priority, is regulation, not homework,
Speaker 1: not conversations about their day, none of that. Their bodies
Speaker 1: have been on all day and they've been sitting still, listening,
Speaker 1: following the rules managing friendships.
Speaker 2: And they are cooked. They are absolutely cooked.
Speaker 1: So when they walk through that door, we give them
Speaker 1: thirty minutes of quiet decompression time. I like to call
Speaker 1: it the calm corner, or I call it fairy time,
Speaker 1: whatever you want to call it to make it sound fun,
Speaker 1: because regulation time doesn't sound too fun for a child.
Speaker 2: Do that, So you could even have like a little box.
Speaker 1: Of things that you could have a box of, like
Speaker 1: you know, fidgets, coloring in books, whatever you want for
Speaker 1: them to pick from. Now, for us, this rule looks
Speaker 1: like them getting into their comfy clothes, especially if you've
Speaker 1: got any kids on the spectrum or anything like that.
Speaker 1: Having that sensory release from their uniform for the day
Speaker 1: is like taking your braer off. So let's give them that,
Speaker 1: you know, so let's get them into their comfortable clothes.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying this is needed, but with my girls,
Speaker 1: especially like we just want them to feel calm and comfortable.
Speaker 1: It's like that physical cure trigger to tell the brain
Speaker 1: that we're done for the day. You know, I've talked
Speaker 1: about this before, like the que equals the action and
Speaker 1: all that type of thing.
Speaker 2: That's what we're telling the brain.
Speaker 1: And then it's time for a snack and water right away,
Speaker 1: because a hungry kid is a feral kid. And when
Speaker 1: your blood sugar drops, which it tends to do in
Speaker 1: the afternoon, all these symptoms are amplified. Think about like
Speaker 1: why we crave sugar and stuff in the afternoons because
Speaker 1: your blood sugar has dropped and then you can't I
Speaker 1: think clearly you're tired, you're cranky. We need to like
Speaker 1: try and stabilize that, which i'll get into in a minute.
Speaker 1: And then once they've kind of given themselves some calm time,
Speaker 1: like they're reading books, or they're coloring in or they're
Speaker 1: in their little calm corner, they can go outside. They
Speaker 1: can play and touch grass, they can listen to music,
Speaker 1: they can draw doboard games. And you'll see the theme here.
Speaker 1: There is no technology and look, we listen, we don't judge.
Speaker 1: I'll get into that in a minute, but it's so
Speaker 1: important right now that they do not get a screen
Speaker 1: in front of their faces. Okay, I know it's hard,
Speaker 1: but trust me, you'll thank me later. And then once
Speaker 1: their body is calmed down, then they can start to
Speaker 1: do the things. Does this prevent ninety percent of arguments? Yes,
Speaker 1: I said ninety Okay, let's be let's say it's forty
Speaker 1: percent of higuments.
Speaker 2: Yes, and that is a win.
Speaker 1: Even if it's twenty percent, it's going to really not
Speaker 1: be putting fuel on the fire. Rule Number two is
Speaker 1: no TV or tech until the tasks are done.
Speaker 2: So I have a little bit of a checklist. Of course,
Speaker 2: I do some Sturff face. And this is for the
Speaker 2: girls to do after school.
Speaker 1: And this is after they've regulated and Amy sat down
Speaker 1: and they're a lot calmer. And it's a little bit
Speaker 1: of a checklist just to help us out, help future
Speaker 1: us and give them a bit of a sense of
Speaker 1: like responsibility.
Speaker 2: I guess I know it's a bit boring, but that's
Speaker 2: what we have to do. Now.
Speaker 1: We all know that the second screen goes on, the
Speaker 1: game is over. You'll never get their attention back and
Speaker 1: they turn crazy, like for me, my girls crazy. They
Speaker 1: enter like this kind of like screen Injuice Coma and
Speaker 1: nothing like anything you like, there's nothing you can say
Speaker 1: that will penetrate that. So you need to make sure
Speaker 1: the checklist is done first, so you know they've regulated,
Speaker 1: they've done all the things, and now it's to do
Speaker 1: the little checklist. So our checklist, and this is going
Speaker 1: to look different for everyone. The first one is obviously
Speaker 1: uniforms off. Now if they haven't like followed the whole
Speaker 1: cozy clothing thing from the regulation.
Speaker 2: Step, you can do this here.
Speaker 1: And then school bag unpacked, so making sure you get
Speaker 1: the notes because I know my girls like to keep
Speaker 1: their notes in their bags and then I don't find
Speaker 1: out about things. So that's a big one. Lunchbox is
Speaker 1: by the sink. Again, it depends on how old your
Speaker 1: child is. Like my girls are only year three and four,
Speaker 1: so they're doing this stuff. They didn't do it in
Speaker 1: like KINDI and that I try to get them doing
Speaker 1: it then, but it gives them that, you know, sense
Speaker 1: of responsibility, and they're like, you know, you're a big kid.
Speaker 2: Now you can do this.
Speaker 1: And you've got to even start it from kiddy and
Speaker 1: be like, this is what you do when you go
Speaker 1: to school. It's easier to do it then to be
Speaker 1: honest with you. So you got your lunchbox by the sink,
Speaker 1: You've got a school bag unparked, school notes on the
Speaker 1: bench and her uniforms off.
Speaker 2: Do they always do it?
Speaker 1: No? I wish, but the rule exists and the expectation
Speaker 1: is set and it just helps the whole family. So
Speaker 1: and they know if they don't do these things, they
Speaker 1: don't get TV. And look, if you have to hide
Speaker 1: the remote, hide the remote, but just remember where you
Speaker 1: put it. Not speaking from experience or anything, because that's
Speaker 1: not fun. Now, before I move on, I'm not here
Speaker 1: to screen shame anyone like God, I work in social media,
Speaker 1: Like I love a scroll, give me a scroll. And
Speaker 1: there's always times where, like you know, don't everyone's family's
Speaker 1: got different rules. I'm a bit strict with screens with
Speaker 1: the kids because they again, they act like it's crack
Speaker 1: and it's not worth the fight. So, you know, rainy days,
Speaker 1: long car trips, whatever, if it's weekend, if you do
Speaker 1: it every day, whatever, whatever you want to do. But
Speaker 1: you know, screens are at all and there's like a
Speaker 1: time and a place for them, depending on your child
Speaker 1: and your.
Speaker 2: Situation and what you believe as well.
Speaker 1: And this is just just about the timing because the
Speaker 1: science around screens, especially after school, when their brain is
Speaker 1: in that state we just talked about, this is where
Speaker 1: it gets really interesting. And I think again, once you
Speaker 1: guys know this, things will make so much more sense
Speaker 1: and you won't just think your kids just fighting you
Speaker 1: because they can. Yes, they definitely would do that too,
Speaker 1: but let's just give them the benefit of the doubt
Speaker 1: right now. So let's just pretend we have an implemented
Speaker 1: this new routine. You know, your kid just walks through
Speaker 1: the front door. They're just regulated prefrontal cortex, the sensible
Speaker 1: part is offline.
Speaker 2: What do we do?
Speaker 1: We hand them a screen and Amy's like, yes, dope
Speaker 1: at mean, And this is what it actually does. Every
Speaker 1: time your child picks up a screen, the game, a video,
Speaker 1: scrolling anything, their brain releases that feel good chemical, the
Speaker 1: reward chemical.
Speaker 2: And the problem with dopamine is.
Speaker 1: That the brain is greedy and she wants a lot
Speaker 1: of it, especially Amy, and the more it gets, the
Speaker 1: more it needs. But over time, it takes more and
Speaker 1: more screen time to get the same feeling of reward.
Speaker 1: So maybe before you get a really big hit of
Speaker 1: dopamine from like five minutes of screen time, and up
Speaker 1: with time, you need two hours of screen time to
Speaker 1: get the same amount of dopamine, and the brain is
Speaker 1: craving it. So you've taken a brain that's already struggling
Speaker 1: to regulate and you're flooding it with dopamine. So you're
Speaker 1: essentially handing a very unstable situation a bit match. And
Speaker 1: here's the part that explains the meltdown ward when you
Speaker 1: try to take it away. When you remove the screen,
Speaker 1: the dopamine levels drop and the brain immediately starts working
Speaker 1: hard to get back and how to get back to
Speaker 1: that feeling. So this is not your kid being dramatic.
Speaker 1: This is like a chemical withdrawal response, which is when
Speaker 1: you find out it's actually kind of scary, Like I
Speaker 1: know that's how our brain works, but like that's why
Speaker 1: they panic so much when you.
Speaker 2: Try to take the screen away. It's because the brain's like, no.
Speaker 1: No, no, we need this, we need this, we need this,
Speaker 1: you know, like over Bluey, Like I know, look Blue
Speaker 1: is a great show that I love that. So you know,
Speaker 1: the no techtal tasks are done and regulated isn't like
Speaker 1: a punishment. It's just us giving them the best chance
Speaker 1: at feeling okay every afternoon and the afternoon not going.
Speaker 2: To absolute shit.
Speaker 1: It really is us protecting our brain and their's from
Speaker 1: you know, our brain that's already depleted from a dopamine
Speaker 1: spiral that's going to make the rest of the evening
Speaker 1: absolutely crap.
Speaker 2: Rule number three the snack plate prep.
Speaker 1: Now, as I mentioned earlier, our blood sugar levels can
Speaker 1: drop in the afternoon, so and this is also one
Speaker 1: to stop us being a snack bitch all afternoon. Like
Speaker 1: I know, if I don't do this this rule, I'm
Speaker 1: so stressed and I'm like I'm not ready and like
Speaker 1: I've got to get snacks ready and I'm trying to
Speaker 1: do all the other things.
Speaker 2: So like you know, as soon as you.
Speaker 1: Sit down, like they want a snack, and then they
Speaker 1: want another snack, and then you've a snack bitch for
Speaker 1: forty five minutes, and then they.
Speaker 2: Won't eat their dinner.
Speaker 1: So this is what we do. The fix is to
Speaker 1: do a snack prep. So either I will pre chop
Speaker 1: fruit and veggie sticks earlier in the day or even
Speaker 1: on a Sunday and do a big batch, which I'll
Speaker 1: talk about some hacks in a minute, and then as
Speaker 1: soon as they walk through the door, I'm like, here
Speaker 1: you go.
Speaker 2: Here's your snack plate. This is what you get.
Speaker 1: You get what you get, and you don't get upset,
Speaker 1: so you pop it on the table and that's what
Speaker 1: they get. So things like you know, there's some snacks
Speaker 1: I would recommend over others, like protein is going to
Speaker 1: be really helpful for their blood sugar regulation, which I
Speaker 1: want to go through in a second. But here's some
Speaker 1: hacks for this rule. So the first one is what
Speaker 1: I said, the Sunday prep. So on Sundays, just like prep,
Speaker 1: it's obviously not gonna last you the whole week, but
Speaker 1: I will like pre chop hard veggies or pre chop fruit,
Speaker 1: put them in like the fridge, savor containers that actually
Speaker 1: make them last. And then things like portioning things into
Speaker 1: containers like whatever you need to do just so you
Speaker 1: can grab them and then chuck it on a plate
Speaker 1: and give it to them. And I know it sounds
Speaker 1: like really really organized and like a bit of effort,
Speaker 1: but it takes like ten to fifty minutes, and then
Speaker 1: in the afternoons you're going to just have your shit together.
Speaker 2: It's amazing. Now.
Speaker 1: Hack number two so the days where maybe you're prep
Speaker 1: from Sunday that's all gone, maybe you haven't you know,
Speaker 1: gone and got new groceries or something. You need to
Speaker 1: have things in the in the fridge and in the pantry.
Speaker 1: That is like a lazy plate situation. So you know,
Speaker 1: things like cheese and crackers, ham, a handful of grapes
Speaker 1: like mini cucumbers straight from the fridge, things that you
Speaker 1: don't really have to prep but you can chuck them
Speaker 1: on a plate and it's good enough, because good enough
Speaker 1: is perfect right now. Hack number three is to keep
Speaker 1: a snack basket at their level. Now, I love this
Speaker 1: because you need to have like a basket of pre
Speaker 1: approved healthy snacks that you're okay with them just grabbing
Speaker 1: in the afternoon, because the thing is, again, when they're disregulated,
Speaker 1: they're on a screen, they haven't had protein, and they're
Speaker 1: having like sugar crash and they're grabbing more sugar and
Speaker 1: they're just and that's not going to help like stabilize
Speaker 1: their blood sugar. Again, you're putting fuel on the fire.
Speaker 1: So let's have a basket in the pantry or in
Speaker 1: the kitchen. You can get it out and they know, okay,
Speaker 1: you can take these in the afternoon. You take two
Speaker 1: of these or whatever it is, and it's all preapproved
Speaker 1: and it's okay for them to have. So things like
Speaker 1: musically bars, rice crackers, saltanas like whatever works for your family.
Speaker 1: And the goal is that they can access this without
Speaker 1: asking you, Like that's the key. Let's not be a
Speaker 1: snack bitch anymore. And then that leads us on to
Speaker 1: hack number four, which I've mentioned a fa a few
Speaker 1: times now, which is protein. Protein is your best friend.
Speaker 1: So carbs alone will spike and crash them fast. So
Speaker 1: once you get protein into them, it will stabilize their
Speaker 1: blood sugar and it buys.
Speaker 2: You a lot more calm time.
Speaker 1: A hangary kid and a sugar spike, as I mentioned,
Speaker 1: is not a good time, and it's going to get
Speaker 1: them full of for longest.
Speaker 2: If you've given them given.
Speaker 1: That to them straight after school, they should last fine
Speaker 1: until dinner and then actually eat their dinner. Now, of course,
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you a list of kid friendly
Speaker 1: protein snacks just to help. So some ideas are cheese
Speaker 1: sticks all like cheese cubes, ham and turkey slices, boiled eggs,
Speaker 1: hummus with crackers or veggie sticks, yogurt, peanut butter on
Speaker 1: rice cakes, mini baby bell cheeses, which I love them
Speaker 1: and I'm not meant to eat much dairy, but it's
Speaker 1: so good. And then there's tuna and crackers which you
Speaker 1: could not pay me enough to eat you no, sounds disgusting.
Speaker 2: So and this also works for us.
Speaker 1: This works for adults as well, if I don't pre
Speaker 1: prep snacks for myself or at least have a little
Speaker 1: list somewhere that I can go like in the afternoon.
Speaker 1: I'm a potato. I don't even know my own name,
Speaker 1: so I need to be reminded. So have you know,
Speaker 1: prep your own snack plate for the afternoon with these
Speaker 1: protein sources, and then you'll feel so so much better,
Speaker 1: all right. Rule number five, no overhead lights after six pm.
Speaker 1: Now I'm an overstimulated toddler.
Speaker 2: You see.
Speaker 1: Ryan loves the overhead lights. He will pump them until
Speaker 1: and you can fall asleep with them. Morton, I just
Speaker 1: do not understand it. Like I can't even have like
Speaker 1: a glimmer from a star outside coming through the window,
Speaker 1: and I can't sleep, like I have to wear like
Speaker 1: an eye mask to sleep.
Speaker 2: So the rule is after six pm.
Speaker 1: All the overhead lights come off even earlier if it's
Speaker 1: like winterime, like turn this shit off.
Speaker 2: Only like mood lighting.
Speaker 1: We're talking about like red lights like nothing because just remember,
Speaker 1: like I'll get this into this in a sect. But
Speaker 1: the blue lights on our phone and like our screens
Speaker 1: tells us ray in it's daytime. There's a reason why
Speaker 1: we're feeling like, let's we can't sleep. So things like
Speaker 1: lamps warm light. You can get the warm light like
Speaker 1: light bulbs, just like a soft environment. Pretend you're going
Speaker 1: on a date. Pretend you have a date coming over
Speaker 1: and you want it to be all like mood lighting
Speaker 1: like that's the vibe. And again this isn't just for
Speaker 1: the kids, this is for us as well, because the
Speaker 1: bright overhead lights are really just keeping your nervous system
Speaker 1: on go mo like, let's go go go, Like, yes,
Speaker 1: this is great in the mornings when we need to,
Speaker 1: you know, have the what is it called the quartersol
Speaker 1: spike in the morning gets us going, but we don't
Speaker 1: want that at nighttime we're done. So research found that
Speaker 1: compared to adults, school aged children experience nearly twice the
Speaker 1: melotone and suppression from evening bright light exposure. So it's
Speaker 1: actually affecting the melotone and our body produces to make
Speaker 1: us go to sleep. So that overhead light you've been
Speaker 1: blasting through dinner and bath time, the entire bedtime routine
Speaker 1: is actually working against you and it's suppressing the very
Speaker 1: hormone that's supposed to be telling your brain and body
Speaker 1: and your kids that it's time to wind down and
Speaker 1: go to sleep. And then you wonder why they won't sleep.
Speaker 1: It's like Rian, like sometimes you'll give the kids a bath,
Speaker 1: or like it will be like freaking seven that at
Speaker 1: nine he's raving them up and playing and I'm like.
Speaker 2: What are you doing? What are you doing?
Speaker 1: They're not meant to be going crazy right now. These
Speaker 1: studies are like they've proven that the LED lighting that's
Speaker 1: in our homes, that's the very light that is suppressing
Speaker 1: their melatonin. Now rule number six, the PM reset. So
Speaker 1: we've done everything we possibly can to get the kids
Speaker 1: in a really good state. You know, they've had their food,
Speaker 1: they're regulated, there's no screens, there's no overhead lights. Now
Speaker 1: this is more so about us and running the household.
Speaker 1: So this is the closing shift. They're putting the house
Speaker 1: to bed, the PM reset, whatever you want to call it.
Speaker 1: I've been doing this for such a long time. As
Speaker 1: soon as this slips, everything hits the fan. So after dinner,
Speaker 1: instead of leaving in the kitchen like a crime scene
Speaker 1: and then just collapsing on the couch and scrolling, which
Speaker 1: sounds so good, we need to kind of treat it
Speaker 1: like we're closing up a restaurant. So like you know,
Speaker 1: the closing shift in hospitality, that's when they literally are
Speaker 1: like resetting the restaurant for the next day. So if
Speaker 1: you work in hospitality, you would know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: So everything has a place and you don't leave until
Speaker 1: it's done. And then the next shift workers will thank
Speaker 1: you because it's ready. And the next shift workers is
Speaker 1: you in the morning, future, you who will be so
Speaker 1: pissed off if they wake up t dishes in the
Speaker 1: sink and nothing's ready. And for me, I do this
Speaker 1: with a playlist again. At night, I will use a
Speaker 1: bit more like red hot chili peppers kind of thing,
Speaker 1: more of like a calming one. But I'll put my
Speaker 1: headphones on. Kids are in bed, they're reading whatever, they're
Speaker 1: asleep hopefully, and I start doing my closing shift for
Speaker 1: the house or start putting the house to bed. And
Speaker 1: for me, like it's like the millennial bangers that can
Speaker 1: work whatever you need to do. But for me, because
Speaker 1: I'm a toddler, I need to have a bit more
Speaker 1: calming stuff.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: In my AM reset, I will have the bangers, but
Speaker 1: this is a bit more chill.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: This playlist triggers my brain to tell me it's time
Speaker 1: we do this. When this music plays, we do this,
Speaker 1: And this is the PM reset. So things like doing
Speaker 1: the dishwasher, wiping the benches, you know, checking your planner
Speaker 1: for the next day, making sure the kids lunches are sorted,
Speaker 1: like all those types of things, resetting the lounge room,
Speaker 1: and this reset like also includes a hack I've shared before,
Speaker 1: which is a catsual basket. Now, if you're new here
Speaker 1: and you haven't heard of the catsual basket hack, this
Speaker 1: is a basket where you put in one of the
Speaker 1: high traffic areas of the house. So usually it's like
Speaker 1: the lound room fast and we all have a basket each,
Speaker 1: And basically the idea is it's like called the catsual basket,
Speaker 1: but it's also called this doesn't belong in this effing
Speaker 1: room basket, So anything that belongs to Harper Willow Oh
Speaker 1: chuck in their baskets. And then part of the PM reset,
Speaker 1: which is like before the kids go to bed, they
Speaker 1: are supposed to grab their basket. I say supposed to
Speaker 1: because sometimes I have to do it, but that's okay
Speaker 1: because Amy still might be running their show a little
Speaker 1: bit and they put their stuff away. Now this is
Speaker 1: just batching the mess, and this really really helps because
Speaker 1: then you're not doing a million trips with like polypockets
Speaker 1: and bloody blocks and lego and whatever else they bring out,
Speaker 1: and they bring out half their room, but it's in
Speaker 1: their basket, and it's contained, and then they can do
Speaker 1: their own little reset lap or you do it for them,
Speaker 1: but I would try to make them do it themselves.
Speaker 2: You can make that part of their checklist. Actually, why
Speaker 2: didn't I think of that. Yes, I'll make it part
Speaker 2: of the check Okay, So they're going to do that,
Speaker 2: and that is part of the reset.
Speaker 1: So then you wake up in the morning and like
Speaker 1: the house has been put to bed and you can
Speaker 1: wake up fresh. Now rule number seven is again it's
Speaker 1: for us because we deserve this, and its adult time
Speaker 1: is a non negotiable.
Speaker 2: And now I don't mean sexy time, like unless.
Speaker 1: You want to do that, you do that like lucky
Speaker 1: lucky them. But you know, once the kids are down,
Speaker 1: you really do need to have some time to yourself.
Speaker 1: And I go, like, you always feel like there's so
Speaker 1: many things to do, there's like more washing to do,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, but you really do need at least
Speaker 1: even like forty five minutes before you get into bed
Speaker 1: that feels like your time.
Speaker 2: Because I don't know about you, guys.
Speaker 1: If I feel like I don't get this time, I
Speaker 1: end up doing something called revenge bed time procrastination, and
Speaker 1: that is where you know you should be going to sleep.
Speaker 1: It could be eleven pm at night and you can't
Speaker 1: help but keep scrolling on your phone, or you can't
Speaker 1: help by doing something because you feel like your day
Speaker 1: is not yours. You feel like if you've been doing
Speaker 1: things for everyone else all day. So if you don't
Speaker 1: have your own adult time, this is what will happen
Speaker 1: and you probably won't go to bed till really late.
Speaker 1: So just anything that's not a must, just let you
Speaker 1: have your time. If it's forty five minutes, could be
Speaker 1: reading a book, watching show, whatever it is, but make
Speaker 1: sure you do that because otherwise you're going to start
Speaker 1: really really late. And for me, part of this routine,
Speaker 1: like just before I do my adult time, I do
Speaker 1: my planner check, which I mentioned before, because I really
Speaker 1: need to know like I've got everything sorted for the
Speaker 1: next day, because then I feel like I can let
Speaker 1: go of the day, like release everything I've been carrying
Speaker 1: for the day and move forward and just relax in
Speaker 1: bed time. And the best thing if you're new to
Speaker 1: using a planner, really need to keep it in your
Speaker 1: face at all time. So keep it open on the bench,
Speaker 1: keep it open in your office wherever you are, just
Speaker 1: keep it open, because it's if it's out of side,
Speaker 1: it's out of mind. So there we have the seven
Speaker 1: rules of our after school routine that saves my kid's
Speaker 1: sanity and mine. And I hope today's episode helped you
Speaker 1: because I know all these tips, the things I wish
Speaker 1: I knew so so long ago, because I would have
Speaker 1: saved myself a lot of times crying in the pantry.
Speaker 1: Like I said, but if you guys implement these things,
Speaker 1: I would love you to take a photo and just
Speaker 1: tag me on Instagram. Tag stepping up on Instagram, and again,
Speaker 1: jump in our Facebook community and you guys can talk
Speaker 1: about your own tips and hacks because there'll be so
Speaker 1: much more and you guys can take over the conversation
Speaker 1: there as well. And if you guys haven't already, please
Speaker 1: subscribe to other people can also find the show and
Speaker 1: help us master their mess.
Speaker 2: And I will be in your ears next week on Monday. Bye,