1
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:02,480
Speaker 1: You know, Yang, it's harp, So I hope you're great.

2
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:07,040
Speaker 1: I'm not exactly sure how this is going to go.

3
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:11,080
Speaker 1: It's a solo, of course, you not's solo. I've been

4
00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:14,400
Speaker 1: paying attention as all of you, I guess, or most

5
00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,120
Speaker 1: of you, to what's going on in the world, what's

6
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:19,400
Speaker 1: going on on social media. I try not to get

7
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:22,919
Speaker 1: too involved in things that I can't influence, but I

8
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,079
Speaker 1: want to be informed and I want to pay attention,

9
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:33,120
Speaker 1: and for me because I'm a curious cat around you know,

10
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:37,480
Speaker 1: human behavior and communication and the mind and the subconscious,

11
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,960
Speaker 1: and you know what appears to be going on on

12
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,040
Speaker 1: the surface, the external, physical, threat dimensional world what we

13
00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:48,040
Speaker 1: would call, you know, kind of the objective situation or

14
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:53,080
Speaker 1: objective reality, and then how we interpret that what's happening

15
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,880
Speaker 1: on a I guess more of a subjective level for

16
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,560
Speaker 1: me or you, the individual in the middle of that

17
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,080
Speaker 1: ma grow that thing that's going on with the government

18
00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,920
Speaker 1: or the weather, or global warming, or this argument or

19
00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:08,720
Speaker 1: that argument, or this screaming match these people, this group,

20
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:13,440
Speaker 1: that group. Everyone's fucking right, everyone's angry, everyone's screaming at

21
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:15,959
Speaker 1: each other. Everybody's in the middle of a fucking global

22
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,880
Speaker 1: or a personal or a you know, some kind of

23
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:24,319
Speaker 1: political or religious shouting match, and uh yeah, it makes me,

24
00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,840
Speaker 1: it makes me, does it make me sad? It makes

25
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,080
Speaker 1: me a little sad. But I guess I'm more curious.

26
00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,399
Speaker 1: And I don't want to talk today about politics or

27
00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,520
Speaker 1: religion or I don't want to talk about you know,

28
00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:40,600
Speaker 1: particular issues or topics that seem to trigger people and

29
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:45,319
Speaker 1: seem to be you know, the focus of contention and

30
00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:50,560
Speaker 1: debate and argument and even fucking hate. Right, I want

31
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:52,600
Speaker 1: to talk about what's underneath that. I want to talk

32
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,080
Speaker 1: about what drives us to scream at each other, what

33
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,800
Speaker 1: drives us, what drives the hate, what drives the intolerance? What?

34
00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,360
Speaker 1: Why do we? And when I say things like why

35
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,720
Speaker 1: do we? I may not be talking about you, so

36
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:11,840
Speaker 1: I'm speaking I'm speaking broadly, and I'm trying to speak representatively,

37
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:13,960
Speaker 1: and of course I'll get things wrong. But why do

38
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:18,120
Speaker 1: we need to be right? Why do we? Why are

39
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,200
Speaker 1: we so hesitant to listen to somebody who doesn't think

40
00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,440
Speaker 1: like us, or talk like us, or believe like us,

41
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:27,080
Speaker 1: or live like us? Because you know these are these

42
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,960
Speaker 1: are and by the way, listening to or perhaps considering

43
00:02:31,040 --> 00:02:35,000
Speaker 1: another perspective or another person or another you know, a

44
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:38,640
Speaker 1: paradigm that you don't live in. This doesn't mean that

45
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:43,359
Speaker 1: we're being disloyal or this doesn't mean that where we're compromising.

46
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:48,000
Speaker 1: For me, it's very much just about understanding or what

47
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,000
Speaker 1: do I think and what do I mean? And where

48
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,320
Speaker 1: is my intention and my ideas and where is my

49
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,480
Speaker 1: where is this emotion, where's this defensiveness, where is this

50
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:59,880
Speaker 1: need to be right in me coming from? But also

51
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,720
Speaker 1: so what is their version like what you know that

52
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,920
Speaker 1: seek first to understand, like what drives them? Why do

53
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,680
Speaker 1: they think the way they do? What do they think? Firstly?

54
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:13,280
Speaker 1: Where does that come from? And then things like is

55
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,200
Speaker 1: there any chance? Is there any chance that I'm wrong

56
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,600
Speaker 1: or a bit wrong? And I think one of the

57
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,000
Speaker 1: one of the ever present challenges around all of the

58
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:28,240
Speaker 1: stuff that's going on at the moment is that so

59
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:33,800
Speaker 1: many of us don't even want to consider the fact

60
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,280
Speaker 1: that we could be wrong. We could be unequivocally wrong

61
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,800
Speaker 1: about something. I would suggest, not all things, but some things.

62
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,760
Speaker 1: And so when we sit down to talk to somebody,

63
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,440
Speaker 1: or when we find ourselves in the middle of a

64
00:03:47,480 --> 00:03:50,760
Speaker 1: situation or a circumstance where we're around other people who

65
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:52,720
Speaker 1: disagree with us, or they don't share our thought or

66
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:57,120
Speaker 1: philosophy or ideology or religion or lifestyle or habits or

67
00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,920
Speaker 1: whatever it is, we can find ourselves in a an

68
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:05,040
Speaker 1: emotional and social and psychological situation where, rather than just

69
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:08,040
Speaker 1: being us in the middle of that, we now feel

70
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,200
Speaker 1: compelled to defend something, or to share a certain message,

71
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:16,160
Speaker 1: or to convince somebody else of something, or to criticize

72
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,800
Speaker 1: somebody of what they think because it doesn't align with

73
00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:23,120
Speaker 1: what we think. Rather than just being just going you know,

74
00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:25,280
Speaker 1: you think A and I think be and that's all right.

75
00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:28,640
Speaker 1: You know you eat this way, that way, you worship

76
00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:31,280
Speaker 1: this way, I worship that way. You believe in this God,

77
00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,720
Speaker 1: I believe in that God. I'm not trying to convince you.

78
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:38,760
Speaker 1: And also me saying me acknowledging that somebody else believes

79
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,800
Speaker 1: something that is diametrically opposed to what I believe. Firstly,

80
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,200
Speaker 1: I can't change that person, neither do I want to

81
00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:47,840
Speaker 1: change that person, but I would perhaps even if I

82
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:52,640
Speaker 1: think that that person is really doing some dark, bad shit, right,

83
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:57,520
Speaker 1: I still want to understand where that comes from. Me

84
00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:01,320
Speaker 1: understanding you, understanding that doesn't not mean that you agree,

85
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,560
Speaker 1: or that you align, or that you endorse. You know

86
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:08,400
Speaker 1: that seek first to understand. We can't overcome or we

87
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,839
Speaker 1: can't really you know, the bad shit that happens in

88
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,599
Speaker 1: the world, How do we deal with that if we

89
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,800
Speaker 1: don't understand that. But I think we get scared to

90
00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:20,159
Speaker 1: try to understand things, because I think part of us

91
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:25,120
Speaker 1: feels that, oh, on some level, if I understand this person,

92
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:30,320
Speaker 1: I'm supporting or I'm opening myself up to something evil

93
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:33,720
Speaker 1: or bad or and I would just rather live over

94
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:35,440
Speaker 1: here with all the people that think what I think

95
00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,599
Speaker 1: and talk like I talk, and have the same kind

96
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:42,279
Speaker 1: of ideology and habits and practices and behaviors and rules

97
00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:44,560
Speaker 1: and rituals, because over here I'm safe and we know

98
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,360
Speaker 1: that we're on the right team, and over there is

99
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:51,320
Speaker 1: the wrong team, So fuck them. Whereas I'm more interested in, Yeah,

100
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,680
Speaker 1: I don't agree with them, I don't align with them,

101
00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:59,159
Speaker 1: I don't like what they do, perhaps, but nonetheless I'm

102
00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:01,479
Speaker 1: curious about out why they are the way they are.

103
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:04,160
Speaker 1: I'm curious about why I am the way that I am.

104
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:08,160
Speaker 1: And by the way, in this conversation about this topic,

105
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,960
Speaker 1: about is there any chance that I'm wrong. Have I

106
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,040
Speaker 1: been wrong about things in my life before? Have I

107
00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:20,479
Speaker 1: had opinions and beliefs and ideas that prove to be incorrect? Now?

108
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,440
Speaker 1: The answer for all of us is yes. And so

109
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:28,040
Speaker 1: when we go through life looking through this filter of

110
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,000
Speaker 1: I am right, or through this window or this lens

111
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,000
Speaker 1: of everything that I do and think and believe is correct,

112
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:38,520
Speaker 1: then we are automatically shutting ourselves down from any unlearning

113
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:43,960
Speaker 1: or new learning. And I don't know that this. I

114
00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,480
Speaker 1: don't know if it's a trend, if it's just something.

115
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,680
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is, but I maybe I

116
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,279
Speaker 1: just haven't paid enough attention. Maybe the fact that social

117
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,200
Speaker 1: media and the access that we have to so much

118
00:06:56,240 --> 00:07:00,640
Speaker 1: information now has never been bigger, you know, like we've

119
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:03,719
Speaker 1: never had so much exposure and access to so many

120
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,599
Speaker 1: different people's thoughts and ideas. And then I guess part

121
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,039
Speaker 1: of that is we've never had so much online hate

122
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,400
Speaker 1: and dissension and you know, and people back and forth,

123
00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:16,360
Speaker 1: and I think, why even do some people like why

124
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,800
Speaker 1: does and I'm not saying he or she shouldn't, but

125
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,240
Speaker 1: why does this person from wherever jump online and then

126
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,440
Speaker 1: spend an hour or two hours screaming about this particular

127
00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:30,560
Speaker 1: issue and going back and forwards and arguing and fighting

128
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:35,520
Speaker 1: with people they don't know. And while on a behavioral

129
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,000
Speaker 1: like an like a human behavior level and a psychologyt

130
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:43,120
Speaker 1: I kind of get it. But then I think, like

131
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,720
Speaker 1: this and not producing anything healthy or helpful for you?

132
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,600
Speaker 1: Does this? You know what need is this meeting in you?

133
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:55,680
Speaker 1: Because it's not a good need in my opinion. So

134
00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,480
Speaker 1: let's and again this is going to be very informal

135
00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,680
Speaker 1: as it already is. I I don't know that I'm

136
00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:03,119
Speaker 1: going to have any solutions for you. I don't think

137
00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,600
Speaker 1: ever that on this show my job is to give

138
00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:11,200
Speaker 1: you solutions or instruction per se. You know that this

139
00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,640
Speaker 1: is literally me thinking out loud. I'd love to have

140
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,720
Speaker 1: this conversation with a bunch of people around me, but

141
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:19,320
Speaker 1: it's just me. So I wrote this thing that I

142
00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:20,720
Speaker 1: want to read to you, and then off the back

143
00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:27,200
Speaker 1: of that, I want to explore a few questions. And sometimes,

144
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,400
Speaker 1: like I've said to you before, sometimes I write things

145
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,320
Speaker 1: and I go oh, and it's going to become like

146
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,520
Speaker 1: it's going to be like two three sentences about an

147
00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,360
Speaker 1: idea and I think, think, yeah, that'll make a good

148
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:39,559
Speaker 1: whiteboard post or that'll, that'll, that'll open a door to

149
00:08:39,679 --> 00:08:43,240
Speaker 1: some thinking on ig or Instagram or whatever it is.

150
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,240
Speaker 1: And then it becomes a paragraph, and then it becomes

151
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,280
Speaker 1: two paragraphs, and then I'm like, well, what the fuck

152
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,280
Speaker 1: do I do with this? It's too long for a post,

153
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:54,760
Speaker 1: it's too short for a podcast. So I want to

154
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,800
Speaker 1: read what I've written to you. Maybe that's the best

155
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:59,360
Speaker 1: way to disseminate this. And then I want to talk

156
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:05,440
Speaker 1: off the back of it. So that I've got two

157
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:10,839
Speaker 1: titles I couldn't decide, so title one is the Escalating

158
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:15,800
Speaker 1: Shouting Match and title to or maybe the subtitle is

159
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:21,480
Speaker 1: the illusion of open mindedness? Why is meaningful discussion between

160
00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:26,440
Speaker 1: people with different views? So rare? Ten people gather in

161
00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,079
Speaker 1: a room to discuss a certain matter. Each person has

162
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:34,679
Speaker 1: a different view and belief about the focus of the conversation.

163
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,360
Speaker 1: Each person believes that they are correct and by default,

164
00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:43,920
Speaker 1: that everyone else in the room is incorrect. They all

165
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:47,959
Speaker 1: consider themselves to be open minded. They are not. Every

166
00:09:47,960 --> 00:09:53,319
Speaker 1: individual sees themselves as logical and reasonable, while ironically living

167
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:57,120
Speaker 1: in an ideological echo chamber of thought and belief and

168
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:01,560
Speaker 1: behavior and ritual. Each person resonates with people who think

169
00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:05,160
Speaker 1: like them, reject people who do not think like them,

170
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,079
Speaker 1: and each person belongs to a thought cult without even

171
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,480
Speaker 1: knowing it, a cult for which the cost of membership

172
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:20,760
Speaker 1: is agreement, an alignment, and conformity. A cult where independent thinking,

173
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:25,880
Speaker 1: so not agreeing with the group independent thinking is a sin.

174
00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:32,520
Speaker 1: Disloyalty and disagreement with the group ensure excommunication. An unwavering

175
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:38,600
Speaker 1: groupthink is the price of salvation. When people disagree with

176
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,600
Speaker 1: these all knowing individuals, they are defensive, They are emotional, reactive,

177
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:48,800
Speaker 1: and sometimes aggressive. Naturally, every person in the room considers

178
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:53,640
Speaker 1: the other nine people to be misinformed or ignorant, or

179
00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:56,280
Speaker 1: at the very least part of the problem. Questions like

180
00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:01,560
Speaker 1: what if I'm wrong that? What if I'm the one

181
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,800
Speaker 1: that's wrong? They never even enter their consciousness because they

182
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:10,680
Speaker 1: already know, in inverted commas, they already know that their

183
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:16,760
Speaker 1: truth is the truth. And when you already know that

184
00:11:16,840 --> 00:11:20,559
Speaker 1: your truth is the truth, well then nothing else really

185
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,000
Speaker 1: matters in that conversation because you're righteous, they are not.

186
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:31,040
Speaker 1: And so why am I writing this? Well, I'm writing

187
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:35,640
Speaker 1: this because all of us are in that room. We

188
00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:37,520
Speaker 1: don't want to acknowledge that or think that, but we're

189
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,840
Speaker 1: all in that room, and if not all the time,

190
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:44,040
Speaker 1: of course, not all the time, but definitely sometimes, and

191
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,360
Speaker 1: of course me too, of course Craig Harper as well.

192
00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,480
Speaker 1: Of Course I think I'm right when I'm wrong. Of Course,

193
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:53,559
Speaker 1: many times in my life I've been arrogant and righteous

194
00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:57,640
Speaker 1: and self righteous of course because I'm human, because I'm flawed,

195
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:02,400
Speaker 1: and I think I think we need to be able

196
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,599
Speaker 1: to be okay with that to go I'm wrong, I

197
00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:10,040
Speaker 1: fucked up, I got something wrong. And the interesting thing is, ironically,

198
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:14,000
Speaker 1: often when we hear things like this, like this message,

199
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000
Speaker 1: we kind of not our head, you know, we're not

200
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,600
Speaker 1: our heads. We understand the message and maybe we even

201
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:24,400
Speaker 1: agree with it all the while knowing that it's not

202
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:28,760
Speaker 1: about us. So that was what I wrote, That's what

203
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:31,240
Speaker 1: I wanted to share. And I just feel like that

204
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,240
Speaker 1: I don't know what the answer is, by the way,

205
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,720
Speaker 1: but I definitely know the answer is not loud to screaming,

206
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:39,719
Speaker 1: more screaming, more disconnection, more hate. You don't understand if

207
00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:41,880
Speaker 1: we don't stand up for this, and if we don't

208
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,920
Speaker 1: you know, even when we go back to the thing

209
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:51,640
Speaker 1: about and this is about thinking. This example I'm about

210
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,040
Speaker 1: share is about thinking, and it's not about religion or

211
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,199
Speaker 1: faith or belief. It's about belief, but it's not about

212
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:01,439
Speaker 1: religion per se. You know, when we consider that there

213
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:05,640
Speaker 1: are over four thousand, give or take religions in the world,

214
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:11,440
Speaker 1: four thousand and about twelve major religions, and when you

215
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:17,360
Speaker 1: think that nearly every religion teaches something this which is

216
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,800
Speaker 1: at odds with all the other religions. Yes, there's similarity

217
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:25,800
Speaker 1: and there's crossover, but on a level, most religions believe

218
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:32,000
Speaker 1: that they are for one of them more more theological explanation,

219
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,360
Speaker 1: that they're correct, that they're right, that they are the

220
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,600
Speaker 1: conduit to God, that they are the one true church,

221
00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:40,600
Speaker 1: that their doctrine, that their scriptures, that they're teaching, that

222
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,440
Speaker 1: their book is the right book. Right. But in the

223
00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:47,240
Speaker 1: middle of that belief, I am right. We are right.

224
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,959
Speaker 1: This is the one true church. Our theology is only

225
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,280
Speaker 1: we have a hotline to God. And this here's what's

226
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,920
Speaker 1: wrong with that religion. Here's what's wrong with this religion.

227
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,680
Speaker 1: Here's what's and here's what's right without right with ours,

228
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,600
Speaker 1: I should say, and again, it's not about religion. It's

229
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:06,560
Speaker 1: about this idea that we cannot be wrong. We can't

230
00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:11,760
Speaker 1: be wrong, because when you think about belonging to a group,

231
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:16,360
Speaker 1: any group that thinks, any group that has a doctrine

232
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:20,640
Speaker 1: or a teaching or ideas or beliefs or values which

233
00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:26,240
Speaker 1: are the basis of that group, then you can't question

234
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:31,480
Speaker 1: any of those things ever, because to question those ideas,

235
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:36,320
Speaker 1: to question that thinking, to question that doctrine, to question

236
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:41,200
Speaker 1: that operating system that everybody inhabits, is to question the

237
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:44,800
Speaker 1: group itself. And therefore you will be an outcast and

238
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,000
Speaker 1: a reject. And we don't want to be rejected or outcast.

239
00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:51,760
Speaker 1: We want to fucking belong, So we tell ourselves, don't think,

240
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:57,280
Speaker 1: just believe. When I was in church, one particular church,

241
00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,400
Speaker 1: when I was young, I was literally told, if not

242
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,960
Speaker 1: those exact words, basically those words, don't think, just believe.

243
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:10,560
Speaker 1: This is not about you your I was actively discouraged

244
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:16,960
Speaker 1: from questioning. I was actively discouraged from thinking for myself.

245
00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:23,360
Speaker 1: I was I was actively discouraged from any kind of

246
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:30,440
Speaker 1: doubt or disagreement or hesitation. Well why would that be. Well,

247
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,720
Speaker 1: if you've got a young dude in the church who's

248
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:37,000
Speaker 1: questioning and thinking for himself, I'm not talking about rebelling

249
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:39,760
Speaker 1: or being trying to actively be a problem. I'm just

250
00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,800
Speaker 1: talking about, Hey, you said this, that doesn't resonate with me,

251
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,560
Speaker 1: that doesn't make sense to me, that seems illogical to me.

252
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,240
Speaker 1: And by the way, you teach this, but do that.

253
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,280
Speaker 1: So I am seeing inconsistencies. So is it what you

254
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,720
Speaker 1: say or is it what you do? Because what you

255
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:56,640
Speaker 1: are doing does not fucking reflect what you are saying.

256
00:15:56,680 --> 00:16:00,040
Speaker 1: In fact, the doctrine, the ideas that we're teaching in

257
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,360
Speaker 1: this place, or that we're sharing in this group doesn't

258
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,960
Speaker 1: have to be a church. But in this group, these ideas,

259
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 1: these principles, these kind of tenets that we essentially build

260
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,760
Speaker 1: our identity on. I'm seeing lots of people who don't

261
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,480
Speaker 1: do that. Can I ask about that? No, you fucking

262
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:19,920
Speaker 1: can't shut that down again? Right, So, within these groups,

263
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:27,080
Speaker 1: these conflicting groups, these differing thought cults, there is no openness,

264
00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:31,160
Speaker 1: There is no room for communication, There is no kind

265
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,080
Speaker 1: of hey, look, this is what we've thought for a

266
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,760
Speaker 1: long time. But maybe we're flawed, maybe our culture or

267
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,520
Speaker 1: maybe our ideas, or maybe our theology, or maybe this

268
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:45,680
Speaker 1: or that, maybe we got it wrong. Whoever says that, whoever,

269
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:50,480
Speaker 1: even in politics, think about how often whatever the group

270
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,280
Speaker 1: that you are in, whatever the political group that you're in,

271
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,880
Speaker 1: whatever the group thinks, whatever their message is, whatever their

272
00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,440
Speaker 1: policy is, whatever their mandate is, whatever their kind of

273
00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 1: ideology is. If you're in that group, it doesn't matter

274
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:08,880
Speaker 1: what you actually think. It doesn't matter what you actually think.

275
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:14,040
Speaker 1: You are proactively or you are actively discouraged, in fact,

276
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:17,680
Speaker 1: if not, cast out of the group unless you say

277
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,720
Speaker 1: what you need to say for the group, because it

278
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,840
Speaker 1: ain't about you, It ain't about you thinking, it ain't

279
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:26,920
Speaker 1: about you being critical in your analysis of things. No,

280
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,240
Speaker 1: you are fucking discouraged. And this is the problem that

281
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,920
Speaker 1: this is part of the problem is that we want

282
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,440
Speaker 1: to live in these fucking echo chambers because the echo

283
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 1: chamber is familiar. When I'm in the echo chamber, I'm

284
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,560
Speaker 1: around people who do like me, think like me, talk

285
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,399
Speaker 1: like me, behave like me, and it's so comfortable because

286
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,199
Speaker 1: we just happen to be in the right group. Well,

287
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,399
Speaker 1: guess what, boys and girls, do you fucking not not

288
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 1: all the time? You're not And I dare say, unless

289
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:59,760
Speaker 1: all of you are statistical anomalies, which I really doubt,

290
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,560
Speaker 1: is that some of you right now and the group

291
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 1: could just be a five person group, a social group.

292
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:09,920
Speaker 1: I'm not talking about big change the world groups necessarily.

293
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 1: I'm talking about you listen to this show. You listen

294
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,119
Speaker 1: to me because you have a brain. You listen to

295
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:20,040
Speaker 1: me because you want to think differently, do differently, and

296
00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,400
Speaker 1: be differently. You listen to me because there's something that's

297
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:27,360
Speaker 1: not working, or there's something that's not optimal about your

298
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,760
Speaker 1: social life, or your career, or your body, or your health,

299
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 1: or your habits or your happiness, your internal world, your

300
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:38,119
Speaker 1: external world. You're thinking, you're doing your being, you're responding

301
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,560
Speaker 1: your proactive stuff. You react. There's something fucking going on.

302
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:45,120
Speaker 1: And you know right now. You know when I'm saying this,

303
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,879
Speaker 1: if this relates to you, and if this doesn't relate

304
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,960
Speaker 1: to you, great, and I mean that's sincerely. If it doesn't,

305
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,520
Speaker 1: If all I'm saying is like to you double Dutch

306
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,800
Speaker 1: and it's like, no, this is I'm not like that, Craig,

307
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:58,440
Speaker 1: this doesn't relate, then I would say jump out, come

308
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,359
Speaker 1: back tomorrow. And I mean that in love. But for

309
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:06,200
Speaker 1: those of you who know that you are, there are

310
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:11,080
Speaker 1: things that you are conforming to through guilt or fear

311
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 1: or some misplaced sense of loyalty, where you are basically

312
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:20,320
Speaker 1: a character in someone else's story, where you are kind

313
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 1: of just saying or doing or being what you think

314
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:25,639
Speaker 1: you need to say or do or be because you

315
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 1: don't want the drama, you don't want the conflict. But

316
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,119
Speaker 1: what you're also saying is I don't want to be me.

317
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to be me because I'm not enough. Well,

318
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,160
Speaker 1: you are enough. And if you're in a group of one,

319
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 1: fucking great. You're not going to be in a group

320
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:42,960
Speaker 1: of one for your whole life, but you might be

321
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 1: in a group of one about a certain thing. I'm

322
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 1: not suggesting we all live lives of solitude and quiet desperation,

323
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:56,439
Speaker 1: of course, I'm saying that we don't all need to

324
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,639
Speaker 1: belong to a bunch of different groups to which we

325
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 1: are scribe and handover essentially the keys to our brain.

326
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:13,440
Speaker 1: I've spent much of my life gratefully, gratefully being very

327
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 1: very alone, in the sense that the way that I

328
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,919
Speaker 1: thought or lived or behaved. You know, not that I'm

329
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 1: the only person, of course, but amongst my peers, amongst

330
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,160
Speaker 1: the people that I knew, I was a group of one,

331
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 1: often alone, but not lonely. And there's no self pity

332
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,959
Speaker 1: in this because I'm very grateful. My life is amazing,

333
00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 1: and I have beautiful, awesome friends. But you think about

334
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,159
Speaker 1: the guy that, by the way, today turns sixty two,

335
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,119
Speaker 1: go jumbo. But you think about that guy who's sixty

336
00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,160
Speaker 1: two who never got married, Well that's weird. What's wrong

337
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,879
Speaker 1: with him? He's broken? Is he gay? Is he straight?

338
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 1: Is he got lots of emotional and psychological issues? How

339
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 1: come he didn't what didn't anyone want him? Did someone

340
00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 1: want him? Has he got commitment issues? As he This

341
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,480
Speaker 1: is all of these things. And I get the curiosity.

342
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 1: I get it. But the guy who never got married,

343
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,440
Speaker 1: and the guy who never drank beer, and the guy

344
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 1: who never did drugs, and the guy who and again

345
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,880
Speaker 1: this is not me elevating me. I don't necessarily think

346
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,760
Speaker 1: this is good or bad. But you know that I

347
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 1: was walking this morning. I was up early, and I

348
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: was walking around suburbia and it was dark, and I

349
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:22,040
Speaker 1: was I walked past this lady who has a dog

350
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 1: who I see quite regularly, and she's out early walking

351
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,239
Speaker 1: and I'm out early walking. But it was dark, it

352
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,479
Speaker 1: was not yet light. And she always, if not always

353
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,480
Speaker 1: nearly always crosses the street because he's a dude in

354
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 1: a black coat and it's five thirty am, and I

355
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,919
Speaker 1: could be whatever. Right now, I was thinking how weird

356
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,760
Speaker 1: I must be for some people where I live, because

357
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:45,439
Speaker 1: I'm always just out and about doing my thing, headphones on,

358
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 1: you know, black coat on, like an army shorts, just

359
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 1: navigating suburbia like a to them, like a complete fucking weirdo.

360
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,439
Speaker 1: But in the middle of my group of one, I

361
00:21:56,480 --> 00:22:00,400
Speaker 1: love it. But I but my life connects with lots

362
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,760
Speaker 1: of groups. I have groups of friends, I have groups

363
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 1: of I have groups of friends that have similar passions

364
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: and ideas to me. And you know my training friends,

365
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,199
Speaker 1: and you know my academic friends and all of that.

366
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:17,639
Speaker 1: But I don't feel compelled. Firstly, I wouldn't say that

367
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 1: I'm a member of a group. I would say that

368
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 1: I belong, you know what's the word. I intersect with

369
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,239
Speaker 1: a lot of other people, right, and we may or

370
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 1: may not have similar beliefs and ideas, but that's not

371
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:34,879
Speaker 1: a prerequisite for being in those relationships. So do I

372
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,359
Speaker 1: have friends that I see or people that I know,

373
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: or people that I train with, or people that I

374
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:46,639
Speaker 1: work with that I disagree with? Like quite diametrically opposed

375
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,800
Speaker 1: on some things. But they're still my friends, or they're

376
00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:51,120
Speaker 1: still my colleagues, or I still like them, I respect them.

377
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 1: Of course, of course, our job is not to agree,

378
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:59,959
Speaker 1: Our job is not to align. I believe that our

379
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 1: biggest challenge is to figure out who we are and

380
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,959
Speaker 1: how we are. What matters to me? What do I believe?

381
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,879
Speaker 1: Not what have I been told to believe, not what's

382
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: expected of me to do or think or believe, but rather,

383
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 1: what are my values? What is my life about? Who

384
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 1: the fuck do I want to be? And how do

385
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 1: I want to be that? And what is that? You know?

386
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: What is that going to look like practically in my life?

387
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 1: Do I have to agree with everybody? Can I disagree

388
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: with people without there being a problem? What about that?

389
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,640
Speaker 1: What about you and I disagree? But it makes no

390
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: difference to our friendship. You think A, I think B.

391
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 1: You still love me, I still love you. We're all good.

392
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 1: Our friendship, our love, our connection, our respect is not

393
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:46,320
Speaker 1: dependent on alignment or agreement, And in fact, if it

394
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,439
Speaker 1: is dependent on agreement, I would suggest it's not actually

395
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,760
Speaker 1: love or connection or friendship. I would say it's some

396
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:59,280
Speaker 1: kind of unhealthy fucking strategic alliance, this thing that we have,

397
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: this need that we have to be right or to

398
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,520
Speaker 1: belong to a group that alive, and nobody wants to

399
00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 1: be alone. And I'm not suggesting you be alone. I'm

400
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: suggesting you be you, and you will find that people

401
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,359
Speaker 1: will gravitate towards you. People will want to be around you,

402
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,159
Speaker 1: people will want to connect with you. And it's not

403
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,840
Speaker 1: about being self righteous, and it's not about being right,

404
00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,440
Speaker 1: and it's not about avoiding being wrong. It's about being

405
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: you and knowing that you're going to fuck up, knowing

406
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:27,400
Speaker 1: that you will get things wrong, knowing that you will

407
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 1: have beliefs and attitudes and opinions that over time will

408
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,679
Speaker 1: be proven to be incorrect or flawed. And it's okay.

409
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: And guess what, when you get something wrong, you go, hey,

410
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,760
Speaker 1: got it wrong. Now no better, I'm going to do better.

411
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,959
Speaker 1: And if I ever heard anyone because I expressed something

412
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 1: that was you know, dogmatic or over the top assertive

413
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 1: or which I have done, I'm sorry. The end, I'm sorry,

414
00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 1: not like oh I did it, but these are the

415
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 1: I just did it, and I'm sorry. And I think

416
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: you know, for us to be the person like we

417
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 1: hold things like open mindedness and empathy and kindness and

418
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 1: collaboration and communication. We hold these things in such high

419
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 1: regards socially when we're talking or when we're thinking out loud,

420
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: when we're doing podcasts. Oh yeah, you know. I'm open minded,

421
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,000
Speaker 1: I'm humble, I'm self aware, I'm We fucking love saying

422
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 1: all this stuff about ourselves. But guess what we are

423
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 1: so not that we are so not that it sounds

424
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:34,200
Speaker 1: good because we want social credits. Of course, I want

425
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: to be the guy who's humble and self aware and evolved.

426
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 1: I want to be that guy. Sometimes I'm that guy

427
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:44,200
Speaker 1: for ten minutes. Sometimes I'm not, and sometimes I'm a prick,

428
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,719
Speaker 1: and sometimes I'm not, And sometimes so are you, and

429
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:51,000
Speaker 1: you know that you're not trying to be that. Are

430
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 1: you a bad person? I don't think, if you're listening

431
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,399
Speaker 1: to this and listening to me, that you're a bad person.

432
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 1: I think that you do dumb shit sometimes. I think

433
00:25:58,160 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 1: that you make mistakes. I think that you get things wrong.

434
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 1: I also think you have amazing within you. I also

435
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: think you probably have vast potential that you haven't accessed yet.

436
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 1: I also believe that you have probably possibilities that you

437
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 1: haven't even thought about yet. This is not about where good,

438
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: we're bad, we're brilliant, we're broken. This is all about

439
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 1: we're fucking human. We don't need to be right. You

440
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: don't need to be right. Steps down off soapbox. You

441
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:36,239
Speaker 1: know what. I was going to open the door on

442
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:40,520
Speaker 1: ten questions and answers around this stuff that I've prepared,

443
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:44,880
Speaker 1: and I feel like I feel like not doing that today.

444
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: I feel like maybe doing that another day. But you know,

445
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 1: one of the challenges for me as a coach and

446
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,800
Speaker 1: a podcaster, you know, and a researcher and a bloke

447
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 1: who has I think a little bit of knowledge and

448
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,600
Speaker 1: maybe something to offer in the world. I'll let you

449
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:02,840
Speaker 1: be the judge of that, is that we live in

450
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,720
Speaker 1: a little bit of I think we live in a

451
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: little bit of you know, kind of Disney Unicorn b or.

452
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 1: You can be You're amazing, You're fucking incredible. You know

453
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 1: everyone else is wrong, You're right. You know you're the victim.

454
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,199
Speaker 1: There the this there that you know and of course

455
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 1: you know that is real in that you know there

456
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: are times when, of course we're the victim, and of

457
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 1: course there are real problems. And I would never discount that.

458
00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:36,440
Speaker 1: But also, you know, away from all the rah rah

459
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 1: and the self help fairy floss and platitudes and you

460
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:44,120
Speaker 1: know kind of memes. Away from that, there's this real

461
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 1: deep work to be done. There's this thinking to be done.

462
00:27:53,880 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 1: There's this self reflection to open the door onto pull

463
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:05,080
Speaker 1: back the curtain for you to understand you, for you

464
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: to understand where does my programming and conditioning finish? And

465
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 1: where do I start? Like hootherfucker's Craig Harper beyond his

466
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 1: Catholic school upbringing and the work that he's done and

467
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: the brand that he thinks he has and his genetics

468
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: and he's fucking his propensity to say, fucking kunt And

469
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,960
Speaker 1: who is Craig Harper beyond his ego and his bullshit?

470
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: And when we take away all the stuff that I'm not,

471
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:39,240
Speaker 1: what's left? What's left? Like? Who am I at my core?

472
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: And why do I behave the way that I do?

473
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 1: Why do I think the way that I do? And

474
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: I'm not saying my behavior or your behavior is all

475
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 1: bad or it needs to be changed. Same with your thinking,

476
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: same with your ideas and your beliefs, same with your

477
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: operating system for your life. But rather than rather than

478
00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 1: just assuming what we think is right. What I do

479
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: is right, my beliefs are right, my religion is right.

480
00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:05,240
Speaker 1: The way that I do this and that is right.

481
00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,000
Speaker 1: And therefore if you don't do it like me, or

482
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,960
Speaker 1: you don't think like me, you are wrong. And so

483
00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: therefore we need to be enemies. We need to argue online.

484
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: I'm going to just jump on. I'm going to say

485
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: the worst, hurtful, hateful shit, and in some on some

486
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:26,080
Speaker 1: weird level, I think I'm doing the right thing. And

487
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 1: you know, one of my favorite sayings is that all

488
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: that's necessary for evil to triumph is for good men

489
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: to do nothing. So we could make that more current

490
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: and say good people to do nothing, good men and

491
00:29:37,560 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 1: women to do nothing. But you know, here's the thing.

492
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:45,040
Speaker 1: It's like screaming at each other online, abusing people, insulting people,

493
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: running people down, being self righteous, pointing fingers, spitting venom,

494
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 1: being hateful. This is not doing something. This is not positive,

495
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: This is not constructive, This is not helpful. This is emotional,

496
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 1: This is frustrated, This is fear based, This is unhealthy

497
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 1: fucking bullshit that everyone is or a lot of people

498
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: are participating in right now. All the while thinking that

499
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 1: everyone who doesn't think like them is wrong, all the

500
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: while thinking that they are right. We are so often not.

501
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: If we really want to be humble and aware, an

502
00:30:24,760 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 1: open minded, an objective I believe we need to start

503
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: on the assumption that I could be wrong. And for

504
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:34,480
Speaker 1: many people that thought I could be wrong, it's fucking terrifying.

505
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,760
Speaker 1: But guess what, you're going to be wrong. I'm going

506
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 1: to be wrong. You're also going to be right. You're

507
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: also going to be brilliant. You're also going to be scared,

508
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 1: You're also going to be brave. But all of us

509
00:30:45,600 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 1: are trying to navigate this complex thing that we call

510
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 1: life while all the while being beautiful and ugly, broken

511
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 1: and amazing, terrified and courageous and ultimately human,