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Speaker 1: Get a welcome to the show. This is better than Yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Useful tools and useful conversations to help make your day

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Speaker 1: to day better than yesterday. Every single episode, every week

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Speaker 1: since twenty thirteen. My name Josha Ginsberg, and I'm very

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Speaker 1: very glad you'll hear. And I'm also very glad that

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Speaker 1: say What nowt What is out now, the brand new

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Speaker 1: book that I've been working on for a long time

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Speaker 1: with Campbell Walker, who did all the illustrations. It is

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Speaker 1: a mental health toolbox, useful to have for yourself or

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Speaker 1: someone you know, someone you love that might really do

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Speaker 1: with the fresh idea about how to handle things. It

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Speaker 1: was written in conjunction with an excellent psychologist who made

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Speaker 1: sure that we weren't selling bunk them. It is brilliant,

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Speaker 1: unbelievably wonderful feedback from people who've got it already, and

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Speaker 1: I'd love you to get your hands on it. You

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Speaker 1: can get the link in the show notes right now

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Speaker 1: to get your copy. There's also a link there for

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Speaker 1: my first book, which is back in print. It's about

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Speaker 1: the fourth time we've printed it, so I'm pretty happy

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Speaker 1: about that. Because you can only get on an audiobook for

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Speaker 1: like the last two years or so, but popped it

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Speaker 1: out again. So Back after the Break is out right now,

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Speaker 1: as well as So What Now White. Both those books

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Speaker 1: in the show notes, which is also where you can

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Speaker 1: get your tickets to story Club, the monthly live storytelling

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Speaker 1: show that I do. Next show will be the seventh

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Speaker 1: of September. Lineup is about to be announced. If you

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Speaker 1: were at the last show, I stilled on stage and

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Speaker 1: held up a QR code and you got a fantastic discount. However,

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Speaker 1: everybody else will be playing full price. Sorry. If you

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Speaker 1: want to get the discount, you got to come to

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Speaker 1: the show. But yeah, those tickets are on sale right now.

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Speaker 1: Just buy a fucking ticket, all right. The lineup is

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Speaker 1: gonna be good. It's always good. Just by ticket. I'll

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Speaker 1: be there and Zoe will be there, so you'll know

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Speaker 1: at least two people are going to be there. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to tell you a story that I told on

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Speaker 1: Sunday night at the last show that we did. Story

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Speaker 1: Club only has two rules. The story has to be true,

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Speaker 1: and the story has to be less than fifteen hundred words.

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Speaker 1: A theme for this week was fortune Knocks But Once

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Speaker 1: Rob Carlton, Karen Ferry, my wife, Audrey Griffin, Luke, Heggy

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Speaker 1: Jeeves Vermer, all told brilliant, brilliant stories which are coming

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Speaker 1: on the substack very soon. Paid subscribers get to watch

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Speaker 1: all those things in full. But I will tell you

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Speaker 1: my story right now. It's four pm in nineteen ninety seven,

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Speaker 1: and this Brisbane afternoon at the Livid Festival is steamier

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Speaker 1: than Satan's underpants. Even though we're crammed into a shed

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Speaker 1: at the Ecka Showgrounds, the lingering stink of a hundred

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Speaker 1: years of cow pooh is quickly forgotten as DJ Catch

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Speaker 1: drops the hook and two thousand punters heaves one. I've

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Speaker 1: been a part of the Brisbane music scene for some

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Speaker 1: time now, and a great gig in a shed that

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Speaker 1: smells like cowshit pretty much sums it up in one sentence.

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Speaker 1: I've been playing bass with the seminal Brisbane hip hop

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Speaker 1: outfit resin Dogs for a little over a year, and

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Speaker 1: right now I am having the greatest gig of my life.

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Speaker 1: I dance my ass off and I play that bass

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Speaker 1: like I personally invented funk. Days later, I'm still high

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Speaker 1: from the roar of the crowd and my phone rings

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Speaker 1: we can't use the recording because the base is out

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Speaker 1: of time and out of tune. Ah. This probably has

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Speaker 1: something to do with the enormous joint I shared with

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Speaker 1: some of the other guys in the band before going on.

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Speaker 1: I'd been high before, but that weed left me at

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Speaker 1: an altitude where space and time ceased, behaving in a

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Speaker 1: predictable way to steady the ship. I then drank four

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Speaker 1: full strength cans of festival temperature beer, hoping to get

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Speaker 1: things back on track, but apparently not. Don't worry, the

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Speaker 1: band still has a bass player, though that bass player

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Speaker 1: is no longer me. I hang out heartbroken. My identity

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Speaker 1: is welded to being a musician, to being a great performer.

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Speaker 1: Who am I now? Rather than admit that I've blown

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Speaker 1: it from getting too fucked up, I do the mature

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Speaker 1: thing and avoid responsibility by converting it into resentment. A

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Speaker 1: few weeks later, in town at Rocking Horse Records, buying

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Speaker 1: a ticket to the big day out next to the register,

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Speaker 1: right there on the wall as a poster for a

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Speaker 1: RESINDC gig at the Zoo next week. We'd sold out

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Speaker 1: that then you just a few months beforehand, and my

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Speaker 1: heart breaks once again. The moment of crushing rejection is

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Speaker 1: something I would later recognize in the eyes of naively

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Speaker 1: hopeful young Australians as I told them on live television

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Speaker 1: that no, Australia doesn't think you're that good at singing.

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Speaker 1: Could you please fuck off? Oh before you go, here's

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Speaker 1: a microphone. Can you please sing us a song while

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Speaker 1: we roll the credits? Now that we've all decided that

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Speaker 1: your shit. Making this moment worse is that I'd not

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Speaker 1: yet come to accept how my choices around drinking and

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Speaker 1: drugs were affecting my life. I was just a bitter

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Speaker 1: ex boyfriend and I'm ashamed to say it takes enormous

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Speaker 1: effort to not rip the poster off the wall, precious paper,

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Speaker 1: Big day Out ticket in hand. On mope out of

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Speaker 1: the record shop, turn left and passing the newsagent next door,

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Speaker 1: there's a thought buy a lotto ticket? What buy a

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Speaker 1: lotto ticket? It was so unusual. I took pause, much

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Speaker 1: like I will do right now, to earn some actual

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Speaker 1: revenue rather than the fantasy money of lotto back in

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Speaker 1: a moment, I found myself on that Brisbane afternoon, standing

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Speaker 1: outside the news agent with my brain going, hey, buy

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Speaker 1: a load of ticket and that's completely out of the ordinary,

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Speaker 1: because I never buy a lotto tickets. Loto is a

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Speaker 1: tax on the poor. It's a lie. We tell to

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Speaker 1: the thong slappers that they'll be living a life of

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Speaker 1: jet skis and surgically risky after market aesthetic upgrades if

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Speaker 1: they just picked the right numbers. But we all know

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Speaker 1: even if they win that within a few years they'll

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Speaker 1: have lost the lot. I was yet to fall down

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Speaker 1: the slippery slope of gambling, but at this point I

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Speaker 1: was snobby above it. Still I knew enough to listen

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Speaker 1: to that voice without hesitation. I step into the news agent,

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Speaker 1: hand over my cash, and I asked the man for

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Speaker 1: a five dollar quick pick please. He slaps a button

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Speaker 1: and making an always like a blowfly trapped against a window,

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Speaker 1: the machine prints out some random numbers with fingers stained

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Speaker 1: yellow from cigarettes. He slides over the ticket and I'm

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Speaker 1: back on my way almost with that breaking stamp. Now

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Speaker 1: I've been flicked from resin dogs for the first time

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Speaker 1: in about ten years. I'm not in a band, and

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Speaker 1: I'm starting to understand that a bass player without a

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Speaker 1: band is a lonely man. All it ever done is

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Speaker 1: play music. And this breaks me so I throw myself

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Speaker 1: into work. The casual radio gig i'd done for the

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Speaker 1: last few years signs me up as a full time

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Speaker 1: overnight announcer, which means I spend midnight to six am,

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Speaker 1: Sunday night to Saturday morning trying to convince the fellows

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Speaker 1: Zombifire Brisbane Nites to keep listening because another Selen Beyond

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Speaker 1: song is coming right up. I learned a lot, and

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Speaker 1: a few years of it helped me get pretty good,

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Speaker 1: but it was fucking brutal. And that's not just the celendion.

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Speaker 1: I missed being on stage, and I missed making music

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Speaker 1: on a day off when I didn't know if I

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Speaker 1: was awake or asleep. My girlfriend at the time seize

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Speaker 1: the Loto ticket on the fridge, Hey did you check

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Speaker 1: these numbers? No? No, I hadn't. I shuffle off to

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Speaker 1: the shop, grab a newspaper, shuffle home again. Now I

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Speaker 1: have a hard time reading numbers. When I did maths

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Speaker 1: at school, I remember them wandering around the blackboard like

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Speaker 1: butterflies as I tried to understand what a quadratic equation

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Speaker 1: is and why the fuck do I need to know

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Speaker 1: what a quadratic equation is? The first time I checked

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Speaker 1: my ticket, I count four numbers that are the same. Oh.

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Speaker 1: I check it again. Ah, there's only three. Check it again,

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Speaker 1: there's five. Hang on, then there's three. A second ago.

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Speaker 1: I go over it a few more times and I

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Speaker 1: count five numbers again, again and again. Five numbers means

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Speaker 1: I have won a portion of the Division III prize

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Speaker 1: pool two thousand, seven hundred and sixty two dollars. Holy shit,

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Speaker 1: two seven hundred and sixty two dollars. It's a huge

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Speaker 1: amount of money. When I tell my girlfriend I want

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Speaker 1: to use the money to get some music hear so

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Speaker 1: I can start making hip hop, She's very supportive. I

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Speaker 1: drop about a grand on a PC and a dial

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Speaker 1: up modem. The kind of makes a noise to get

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Speaker 1: you on the internet, The kind of noise that sounds

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Speaker 1: like it's trying to play a recorder with an AM

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Speaker 1: radio while throwing a xylophone down a stairwell. Walking into

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Speaker 1: the music junction with the leftover loot fifteen hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: is burning a hole in my pocket as I peruse

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Speaker 1: the largest selection of drum machines, keyboards and sequences in Brisbane.

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Speaker 1: But this time I'm not there. Fantasizing after years of

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Speaker 1: being a povo muso able to afford the gear I wanted,

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Speaker 1: I can finally buy the thing I need to make

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Speaker 1: the music I want to make. I felt like I'd

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Speaker 1: won the lotto after anything in particular. Mate, Yes, I'm

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Speaker 1: looking to get myself set up with a sampler. Right,

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Speaker 1: what kind of music hip hop? I want to make? Beats? Well,

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Speaker 1: there's only one thing in the AKI MPC two thousand.

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Speaker 1: He gestures to a box shaped device with a large

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Speaker 1: LCD screen, two knobs, and sixteen square pads on the

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Speaker 1: front of it. If electric guitars were never invented, we

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Speaker 1: would not know rock and roll. Without this, the AQIMPC,

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Speaker 1: we would not have hip hop as we know it.

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Speaker 1: This piece of all in one Japanese genius is singularly

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Speaker 1: responsible for an entire genre of music. The ability to

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Speaker 1: easily sample, cut up, and loop a record to create

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Speaker 1: something entirely new had never existed within a singular, intuitive

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Speaker 1: and easy years machine. Doctor Dre De Las Old, Pete

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Speaker 1: Rock jay Z, every absolute banger from those guys was

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Speaker 1: put together on this all in one workstation. With a

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Speaker 1: retail price of thirteen hundred dollars, it was perfect, except

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Speaker 1: that my ego got involved. Can I plug a keyboard

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Speaker 1: into that? No, no, you can't, mate. I don't push

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Speaker 1: buttons to make music. I'm not operating a lift. Any

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Speaker 1: Bevin can push a button now. I was the access

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Speaker 1: servo snacks after midnight. I'm a musician. I play music.

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Speaker 1: Not only do I play bass, I'm an excellent piano player.

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Speaker 1: My fingering is spectacular. I need other people to see

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Speaker 1: me playing a keyboard so they know I'm a great musician. No,

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Speaker 1: I will not try to make hip hop on this

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Speaker 1: machine specifically designed to make hip hop, sir. I will

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Speaker 1: buy the other sampler and plug a keyboard into it

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Speaker 1: so I can play keyboard and people can watch me

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Speaker 1: do it. Are you sure, mate, you said you wanted

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Speaker 1: to make hip hop hang on which you win resin dogs.

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Speaker 1: I sold Dave and Catch one of these each two

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Speaker 1: weeks ago. Yes, I am sure. He was trying hard

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Speaker 1: to sell me a beat machine, but actually I wanted

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Speaker 1: to buy a validation machine, something which played chords while

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Speaker 1: I looked clever. Regardless, he's a salesman, so he shrugged,

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Speaker 1: took my cash and sent me on my way. I

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Speaker 1: take it all home. I plug it all in, and

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Speaker 1: I'm on my way to becoming the third chemical brother.

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Speaker 1: Knowing full well that I'd purchased the wrong kind of

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Speaker 1: gear to make the music I was trying to make

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Speaker 1: didn't stop me from then attempting to make that music.

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Speaker 1: I try in vain a fuck about with sampling beats

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Speaker 1: on this tiny screen editing those samples with one knob,

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Speaker 1: needing the PC to play a sequence without which the

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Speaker 1: samples don't fire, and nothing makes any noise. All of

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Speaker 1: these things that are part of the the intuitive workflow

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Speaker 1: of the MPC two thousand, the machine that is still

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Speaker 1: in the box back at the shop. It was the

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Speaker 1: musical equivalent of trying to trim a hedge with a lawnmower,

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Speaker 1: incredibly inefficient and clearly the wrong tool for the job,

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Speaker 1: but I persisted. After an entire week, frustratingly twiddling knobs

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Speaker 1: and smashing buttons, I managed to create just four bars

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Speaker 1: of poorly quantized music. It was a real moment where

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Speaker 1: I still had enough connections in the bris music saying

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Speaker 1: to have legitimately started something with this sample based music

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to make. After a while, it's all too hard,

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Speaker 1: and I sit down to write music less and less,

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Speaker 1: eventually drifting away from that and towards my upwardly training

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Speaker 1: career in radio and television. I never make that album,

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Speaker 1: but I am obtusely responsible for someone who does. And

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you the rest of that story after this.

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Speaker 1: In the haze of working on Australian idol through my

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Speaker 1: other job in music television, I'm involved in a huge

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Speaker 1: national campaign with Nutrograin, somehow agreeing to be the face

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Speaker 1: of a software sampling program called Andrew G's Music Maker.

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Speaker 1: Hundreds of thousands of CD ROMs with my face on

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Speaker 1: it are stuck to the front of Cereal boxes and

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Speaker 1: sent across the country. Writing the story, I remembered that

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Speaker 1: I never got paid for that. A campaign like that

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Speaker 1: was easily worth half a million bucks in pre GFCTV money.

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Speaker 1: To be fair, at the time, I didn't know I

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Speaker 1: could have asked for any money. Many years past and

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Speaker 1: my sense of self worth eventually improves. And two whole

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Speaker 1: decades after I tried to attempt the musical equivalent of

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Speaker 1: buttering bread with a chainsaw, I'm driving through Sydney listening

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Speaker 1: to Triple J and they play all thirteen minutes of

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Speaker 1: Pink Floyd's shine on You Crazy Diamond in the middle

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Speaker 1: of the day. That's pretty wild even for them. Zan

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Speaker 1: row Back announces and tells me that song was requested

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Speaker 1: by the brilliant Australian artist Flume, who was there in

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Speaker 1: the studio, and she asks, how did you get started

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Speaker 1: in electronic music so young? Most of the gear you

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Speaker 1: need that's pretty expensive. Sitting at the lights on Castle

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Speaker 1: Hill Road, I hear this multi platinum artist say in

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Speaker 1: a charmingly kind voice. When I was about fourteen, Mom

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Speaker 1: came home from the shops with a box of cereal,

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Speaker 1: had a CD rominate. It was a sampler and sequencing

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Speaker 1: program called Andrew G's Music, and at first I made

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Speaker 1: all my music with that. A few months later Flume

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Speaker 1: would go on to win a Grammy. Until that exact

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Speaker 1: moment in the car, I carried so much anger and

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Speaker 1: regret for being a stone fuck with or worse, being

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Speaker 1: a sober idiot who just happened to be high. For

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Speaker 1: blind my shot were the resin dogs for my ego,

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Speaker 1: sabotaging my music career by winning the light I when

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Speaker 1: buying the musical equivalent of a chocolate teapot. For years

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Speaker 1: spent too busy performing as a musician instead of actually

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Speaker 1: being one, and for allowing myself to be exploited in

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Speaker 1: the way that I was. I'd never forgiven myself for

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Speaker 1: treating fortune knocking at my door as if it were

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Speaker 1: a weirdo from a cult like the Jiver's Witnesses or

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Speaker 1: the Mormons or Save the Children. Yet hearing the joy

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Speaker 1: and the light in Flume's voice that day, knowing the

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Speaker 1: success he's had, and in my opinion that his music

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Speaker 1: is actually pretty good on a weekday afternoon in Castle Hill,

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Speaker 1: every one of those shitty feelings vanish in an instant.

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Speaker 1: You know what's funny. I'm sitting here reading of that,

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Speaker 1: and on my desk I've got there's two keyboards, I'm

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Speaker 1: looking at four guitars, at ukulele, a melodica. I'll win

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Speaker 1: some DJ Decks music still in my life. I hope

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Speaker 1: you enjoyed that. It's just a sample sort of thing

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Speaker 1: that happens every month. At the Story Club. You can

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Speaker 1: access full stories, full video stories with film more as

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Speaker 1: a subscribe to the Substack, and on the Substack you'll

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Speaker 1: also get access to discount tickets before anybody else. For

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Speaker 1: the Life kicks. September seventh is next one. There's a

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Speaker 1: link in the show notes. I guarantee it's going to

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Speaker 1: be a good show. See Wednesday