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Speaker 1: Apotee Production. Welcome back to another episode of Am I

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Speaker 1: A Bad Mom?

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Speaker 2: Podcast?

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Speaker 1: The content is never ending.

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Speaker 2: It is never ending. I had a moment actually this

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Speaker 2: morning as I was at my local gym and I

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Speaker 2: was doing my own little workout, and they have a

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Speaker 2: Mum's and Bubbs class going at the same time, and

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Speaker 2: so there's babies glore, and you know, there was a

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Speaker 2: smidge of a second and I say smidge where one

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Speaker 2: of them was just so delightful and laying on the ground,

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Speaker 2: probably about like maybe six or seven, maybe six months

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Speaker 2: and just laying there happy and Google and Gaga and

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Speaker 2: I had that small moment where I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: felt the ovary and then I was like thought back

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Speaker 2: to the morning that I'd had with my nine and

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Speaker 2: eleven year old getting ready for school, and it just

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Speaker 2: quickly went away.

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Speaker 1: It's like that saying a dog's not just for Christmas,

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Speaker 1: it's for life.

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Speaker 2: It's like, because.

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Speaker 1: You see those will remember all those ads like RSPCA

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Speaker 1: or whatever. It's like everyone's falling in love with these little, cute,

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Speaker 1: little baby animals, and then you get the puppy home

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Speaker 1: and then it grows up and then it's.

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Speaker 2: Keeps growing, keep some on growing. It was funny because

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Speaker 2: I must have been smiling and staring and watching and

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Speaker 2: you know, whilst I was doing my workout, not in

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Speaker 2: a creepy way. But then the trainer she looked at

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Speaker 2: me and she's so lovely and she goes, oh, are

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Speaker 2: you clocky?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: Sure? Maybe there it could be a number three. And

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Speaker 2: I looked at her and I was like, I can

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Speaker 2: help you out. I'll give you my nine and an

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Speaker 2: eleven year old and I'll make you not clocky either.

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Speaker 2: Am I a bad mum for not calling home? Funny?

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Speaker 1: You had a little trip away by yourself, a little

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Speaker 1: bit of your own time.

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Speaker 2: You know. The funniest part is you and I. When

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Speaker 2: we first started this podcast, I was all for it, right, travel, travel, travel,

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Speaker 2: take the time for yourself, recharge the batteries. You'll be

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Speaker 2: better for it, and so will everyone else around you.

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Speaker 2: And then I had that moment where I just it

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Speaker 2: was the last second book a trip and go that

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Speaker 2: feeling of just needing to jump off the edge just

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Speaker 2: for a while, just for a while. I just needed

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Speaker 2: to go and just bite the bullet and do it.

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Speaker 2: And because I hadn't troubled, I was working it out.

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Speaker 2: I hadn't troubled for ages, let alone without anyone else.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I booked a trip and I headed for

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Speaker 2: New York City.

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Speaker 1: I know it wasn't just let you went to Byron

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Speaker 1: for the weekend. You went to New York, New York

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Speaker 1: all in. I'm such a fan of doing this now because,

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Speaker 1: like you said, when we first met, I never did that,

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Speaker 1: never went anywhere without the kids, Like.

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Speaker 2: It was a no, you just don't do it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I took my kids to my honeymoon. Fuck, I'm

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Speaker 1: owned a honeymoon. I really am owed a honeymoon. I

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Speaker 1: feel like, but I remember when you first said, but actually,

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Speaker 1: it's good for everyone. So it's not just good for

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Speaker 1: you to not be with them. It's good for them

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Speaker 1: to not be with you, and then you miss each

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Speaker 1: other and then you're better afterwards and you have had

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Speaker 1: that time for yourself.

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Speaker 2: I think what was different this time, though, was that

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Speaker 2: the reception from them was a little bit different. So

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Speaker 2: when I had first left, they were like, oh, I

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Speaker 2: can't believe you're going without us. Yeah, I wondered whether,

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Speaker 2: and then I got, well, what are you going to

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Speaker 2: get us? What are you going to buy us? And

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Speaker 2: I was like, well nothing. And then the other part

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Speaker 2: was within the first because the travel timing, like the

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Speaker 2: travel time of you know, you leave here and then

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Speaker 2: you sort of almost think we lose like a day

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Speaker 2: or something like that. I'm not good with all the

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Speaker 2: travel times with the US, but I felt like I

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Speaker 2: hadn't talked to them for a few days. Obviously I

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Speaker 2: missed them, I missed them so much, but I didn't

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Speaker 2: really care to check in because I had sorted, as

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Speaker 2: we do, we talk about this all the time. I'd

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Speaker 2: sorted everything that I needed to for that entire time

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Speaker 2: of being away. So everything the plan.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I remember saying to you even before you went,

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Speaker 1: you were like, Okay, I've still got to order touch

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Speaker 1: shop and this, and now I said, write a list

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Speaker 1: and do it at the airport. Yeah, and then get

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Speaker 1: it done and then you can just have your own time.

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Speaker 1: It's really important not to constantly be on FaceTime and

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Speaker 1: stuff like that when you go away. And actually the

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Speaker 1: time difference is a blessing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that time difference. It helped. It just made me

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Speaker 2: not have to and I didn't feel bad. And they

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Speaker 2: understood it, like they understood that, you know, when one

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Speaker 2: was awake and vice versa. The other was sleeping just

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Speaker 2: read happening. Though thanks for the advice, because I did

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Speaker 2: take the advice on there was a few things on

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Speaker 2: my to do list, which one of them was grocery shopping.

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Speaker 2: Remember having the conversation after we'd finished the podcast. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you were like, don't be silly, just order it. So

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Speaker 2: then I get to the airport and all was going well,

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Speaker 2: and then I get down. I thought, I've got enough

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Speaker 2: time for a coffee, get to coffee line up, and

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Speaker 2: it was so long and the time of me waiting

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Speaker 2: in this coffee lineup just to order and also wait

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Speaker 2: for my coffee to come out the other side, I'd

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Speaker 2: done my shopping, I'd done my woolies online click and collect,

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Speaker 2: and my mum was picking it up that afternoon. Yeah. See,

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Speaker 2: so that was done and easy. And then because I'd

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Speaker 2: done the shopping, I was like, well I did touch

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Speaker 2: shop orders. I'd done that, so that was all ticked off.

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Speaker 2: So I had made it quite not clinical, but it

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Speaker 2: was very straightf like everything was done, you know, like

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Speaker 2: everything was.

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Speaker 1: You got to make it easy for yourself, like also

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Speaker 1: because the times where you give yourself guilt as a mum,

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Speaker 1: and things like, for example, when you know we've gone

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Speaker 1: somewhere on a trip or whatever and there's been like

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Speaker 1: a babysitter or whatever, and thinking I've got to make

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Speaker 1: sure they've got dinner blah blah blah blah blah, and

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Speaker 1: then going, actually, what would make my life easier Get

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Speaker 1: a couple of microwave mills.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, shove them in the fridge.

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Speaker 1: They can heat them up, or give them, you know,

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Speaker 1: something that they can make for themselves. I feel like

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Speaker 1: there were so many occasions where I would make things

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Speaker 1: so much harder for myself, thinking oh, no, I need

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Speaker 1: to do this and that, and just going actually, you

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Speaker 1: know what, who guess.

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Speaker 2: They're going to be okay. Yeah. The part of it

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Speaker 2: is that I still even now, like I've been home

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Speaker 2: a few days, they were very very happy to see me.

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Speaker 2: I have to give them that. Elsie's first comment to

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Speaker 2: me when she gave me a really big hug she

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Speaker 2: came sprinting over because I'd got off the plane. And

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Speaker 2: then it was a full day ahead of me, which

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Speaker 2: she happened to be a gala day playing netball, So

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Speaker 2: I called in to see her and watch a game

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Speaker 2: or two, and then she came running in and she says,

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Speaker 2: don't ever leave me for that long again. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, babe, I said, that's very kind of you.

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Speaker 2: I said, but I'm sure you've had a ball like

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Speaker 2: you look very happy and healthy. She was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: but just don't leave me. But I didn't feel bad. Okay,

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Speaker 2: this is where I'm coming back to. As I didn't

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Speaker 2: look to FaceTime, I didn't look to check in like

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Speaker 2: I would check in and just go how's everyone traveling.

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Speaker 2: And there was a time where my mum, like Nanade,

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Speaker 2: messaged me and was like, hey, I just thought i'd

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Speaker 2: give you an update from home in case you were wondering.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, yeah, I think. I just

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Speaker 2: left knowing that everything was somewhat organized. But at the

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Speaker 2: same time, I was like, wow, I have not done

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Speaker 2: this for so long that it was almost different this time,

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Speaker 2: that the guilt had sort of parked itself before i'd

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Speaker 2: even left. Yeah, didn't feel bad, didn't feel bad at

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Speaker 2: all because I'd ticked all the boxes. And then I

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Speaker 2: had that moment of going like Sam does this all

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Speaker 2: the time, always away, but there's no like, do you

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Speaker 2: need a hand with me organizing the Woolworth Shop for

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Speaker 2: you before I go.

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Speaker 1: This is the between Yeah, I really do feel and

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Speaker 1: you know, not everyone, but my experience as well as

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Speaker 1: the difference between dads and mums. I remember Jay saying

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Speaker 1: to me ages ago he was like reading the paper,

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Speaker 1: like he still likes an old school paper on the weekend,

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Speaker 1: and he was reading the paper and there was some

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Speaker 1: sort of offer for a holiday in there, and he

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Speaker 1: went on, just book this now, and I went, no, no,

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Speaker 1: because what you'll do is you'll go, let's book the

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Speaker 1: holiday and then you'll turn up for the holiday. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I have to do all the other shit because I'm

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Speaker 1: thinking about everything else. Who do we get to look

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Speaker 1: after the kids, who's going to drive them there, how

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Speaker 1: they're going to get here, what they're gonna eat, who's

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Speaker 1: gonna make the bedding up? All of that stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. I didn't feel bad about that either, because I

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Speaker 2: was like, oh, no, I totally need this. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I just went and got lost in you know, in

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Speaker 2: New York City streets, went to different workouts. I did,

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Speaker 2: you know, I didn't really do anything crazy, but I

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Speaker 2: did what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: So you've been back three days. Do you feel like

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Speaker 1: you never went anywhere.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I think that was like when we first started.

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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I feel like I you know,

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Speaker 2: like I've been back for a weekend and I feel

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Speaker 2: like I haven't missed anything. No, this morning's getting ready

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Speaker 2: for school. Put me back in that frame of mind.

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Speaker 2: Put you right back in your place.

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Speaker 1: I haven't missed me