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Speaker 1: I get a team. Welcome to another episode of You

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Speaker 1: Know What with You Know Who. One of my favorites humans,

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Speaker 1: Josh Bitterman, has joined us. Who's just written a new book.

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Speaker 1: He's a superstar. You don't need to introduce you don't

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Speaker 1: need me to introduce you to his work and his background.

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Speaker 1: But here he is.

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Speaker 2: Hi, buddy, he thanks so much having me on. Brother.

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Speaker 1: Now people can't see what I can see. Well, I

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Speaker 1: can't exactly see her at the moment, but you've got

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Speaker 1: a new addition to the family. Now if maybe Melissa

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Speaker 1: or tiff I forget who's editing this, but like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I thought you were good looking. But you're

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Speaker 1: a FuGO compared to who you're holding. Tell everyone what

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Speaker 1: you're holding, what her name is, and what she is.

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Speaker 2: Well, I'm a fugly troll compared to this cute thing.

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Speaker 2: You're right. This is Ze and she is an eight

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Speaker 2: week old Caerverdle and my heart is just melting and

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Speaker 2: exploiting every second every day. I've had her for about

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Speaker 2: twenty four hours and she is just the love of

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Speaker 2: my life. She's so sweet, she's just delicious, and she's tiny.

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Speaker 2: You're so small, so we had her first sleep last night.

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Speaker 2: There was some tears and the crate, there were some wheeze,

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Speaker 2: but all in all we got some zase. So that's good.

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Speaker 1: What are you, I know the answer a bit of

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Speaker 1: the answer to this, but are you a good dog? Dog?

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Speaker 2: Dad?

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Speaker 1: Like? Is this your natural habitat?

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Speaker 2: I think loving is definitely my natural habitat. So she's

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Speaker 2: going to get a lot of love. And you know,

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Speaker 2: I've been controlling in my time, so I can go

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Speaker 2: back to that that default state heart and be a

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Speaker 2: bit of a task master too. So yeah, hopefully she

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Speaker 2: gets a great balance of love and discipline, which is

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Speaker 2: really just love, I think, because you know, dogs need

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Speaker 2: plenty of disciplines, especially in this first part. Then they're

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Speaker 2: just working, they're working out what the world is. So

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Speaker 2: I've got to show the ropes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and did she. So last night was a little

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Speaker 1: bit of a struggle. First week. It's always a little

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Speaker 1: bit messy, right ah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, there were tears, like I got it pretty sleepy before.

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Speaker 2: She's great training, so I've got a pretty sleep before

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Speaker 2: it's time to go into bed. And then a few

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Speaker 2: tears for about five minutes wasn't too bad. And then

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Speaker 2: she just self soothed, and then about three hours later

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Speaker 2: some tears took her out for a week. Same again,

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Speaker 2: a few more hours of sleep, some wheeze cries, you

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Speaker 2: know that. It's like it was like on cycles in

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Speaker 2: three and two hours. So I ended up getting my

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Speaker 2: eight hours with a couple of intermissions. It was like

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Speaker 2: going to see a three act opera. And she got

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Speaker 2: some sleep, she got some wheeze. She didn't win in

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Speaker 2: the crate, so he did, good kid, So good for

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Speaker 2: a first go I reckon.

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Speaker 1: What's the what's the idea or what's the thing behind

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Speaker 1: having them in a crate. I know, like some people like, oh,

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Speaker 1: that's that's cruel, but it's actually it's They actually kind

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Speaker 1: of thrive in that a bit, don't they.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So they don't like the soil where they sleep. Yeah, right,

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Speaker 2: So it teaches, it really teaches them to hold it in.

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Speaker 2: You know, she didn't we in there, which is good,

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Speaker 2: So that's that's really important. Also, they're like den animals,

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Speaker 2: like they love a den. So the crate is open

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Speaker 2: during the day. It's like little toys and little treats

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Speaker 2: in there. I've made it really warm and snugly, like

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Speaker 2: it's a really good place for her to go. She

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Speaker 2: she she goes in there herself and just naps in

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Speaker 2: there during has snapped in there during the day in

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Speaker 2: the last day, so you know, she likes to be

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Speaker 2: in there. So it's it just creates a little a

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Speaker 2: little home for them inside the home basically.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think. And they're quite allos oodles,

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Speaker 1: all the variations of spootles, caboodles and grudles and bloody labradoodles, yeah, labradoodles,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, poodles have I said, But they're all smart, right,

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Speaker 1: all derivatives of like, because poodles are highly intelligent, aren't they.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so there she is a very smart lap dog,

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Speaker 2: like King Charles Cavaliers are dislike, you know, they're they're

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Speaker 2: the royals lap dog in time. So she's a lap

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Speaker 2: dog and she's smart. She's already pretty smart. She's doing

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Speaker 2: some pretty smart things. You know. This morning we played

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Speaker 2: fetch and she was bringing her little tassel ball back

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Speaker 2: to me, and you know, she like knew that if

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Speaker 2: you if she brings it back, we're going to keep

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Speaker 2: the game going. So like, she's she's a pretty smart cookie,

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Speaker 2: which is a sleepy one as well, they're just they're

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Speaker 2: just like little. I don't know, I haven't had a child,

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Speaker 2: but it's just I feel very paternal here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, super cute. She had all the drugs in the

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Speaker 1: world at the moment.

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Speaker 2: She hasn't. So I took her to the supermarket this morning.

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Speaker 2: I just wanted socializer. So she went to the cafe

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Speaker 2: and she went to the supermarket or whatever else and

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Speaker 2: someone went, oh, I thought it was a croissant.

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Speaker 1: Ah, what you must have to carry her, right, you

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Speaker 1: can't walk around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm carrying her around everyone, just holding her

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Speaker 2: in a little yeah, with her little blanket. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's very it's adorable.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure that might a ten minute trip to the cafe,

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Speaker 1: a forty minute trip, oh yeah.

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Speaker 2: We prepared for that. We went to visit visit the

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Speaker 2: doggy daycare around the corner, just to introduce herself because

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Speaker 2: she might spend a day or two there in time.

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Speaker 2: Went to the local cafe. Yeah. Just I think it's

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Speaker 2: really important in these first few weeks that like all

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Speaker 2: of this is normalized for her. So yeah, yeah, trucks

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Speaker 2: and cars and sounds and smells and people and things

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Speaker 2: that it's just all like, oh, yeah, this is all

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Speaker 2: a part of my life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's all that's censeri. Well what have you

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Speaker 1: been now? What are you doing and becoming a dad?

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Speaker 1: What else have you been doing?

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Speaker 2: I wrote a book that came out last week.

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Speaker 1: Oh did you?

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Speaker 2: Oh? I didn't know. As a casual book. I spent

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Speaker 2: a couple of hours on a few words here and there. Yes,

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Speaker 2: I've been writing that since the back end of twenty three.

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Speaker 2: So that came out yeah, last week, which is, which

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Speaker 2: is really exciting, which is And it's sort of a

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Speaker 2: I describe it as memoir meets self development sort of

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Speaker 2: both both a mirror because the themes in it are

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Speaker 2: so universal, so it's a mirror to everyone's up but

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Speaker 2: also a map and how to work through some of

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Speaker 2: that stuff that I've worked through that everyone needs to

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Speaker 2: work through, you know, stuff around self limiting beliefs and

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Speaker 2: unworthiness and not enoughness and shame and imposter syndrome and perfectionism,

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Speaker 2: dealing with rejection, dealing with control. I talked about controlling it.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, just all these sort of universal things. But

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Speaker 2: I use my career in showbiz as a sort of

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Speaker 2: canvas with which to paint these ideas on them, what's

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Speaker 2: the idea for ourselves. There's even some stuff around body

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Speaker 2: image in there, which I know you'll be really interesting

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Speaker 2: because we've both had our body image stuff mate, Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: stuff around bolimia, which is the first time I've really

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Speaker 2: opened up on that.

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Speaker 1: Of all the stuff that you just mentioned, you know,

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Speaker 1: all those very human things, what do you think are

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Speaker 1: the almost universal commons and nominators? You know, it's like

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Speaker 1: self doubt, self loathing, imposter syndrome, seems to be like

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Speaker 1: almost everyone. What else is high on the list for

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Speaker 1: most people? Do you reckon?

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Speaker 2: I think what's really high on the list, And I

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Speaker 2: think we're inherently built into this from a social conditioning,

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Speaker 2: from a Western perspective, is relying on extrinsic validation, yeah,

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Speaker 2: to fill us up internally. And there's nothing wrong with

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Speaker 2: extrinsic things like we need a roof over our head

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Speaker 2: and a close on our back and food on the table.

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Speaker 2: But if our self worth is governed purely on those things,

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Speaker 2: we live a life that's like clawing and chasing to

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Speaker 2: try and fill something inside from the outside, and it's

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Speaker 2: just so conditional out there, so turning inward and finding

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Speaker 2: ways to fill yourself up intrinsically is a big theme

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Speaker 2: throughout the book that I think everyone can learn from

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Speaker 2: slash relate to.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's so interesting because I would imagine in

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Speaker 1: the space that you play in, and I know you're

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Speaker 1: more than a performer, a lot more than that, but

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Speaker 1: that's kind of in inverted commons your job. And you know,

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Speaker 1: my job has been working, yes, with minds and brains

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Speaker 1: and habits and behaviors, but a lot of my life

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Speaker 1: with bodies. How do you look? How do you feel?

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Speaker 1: How do your function? You know, there's so much about

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Speaker 1: your journey and my journey where I can't speak for you,

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Speaker 1: but I would imagine for a lot of people in

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Speaker 1: your space and MySpace where external validation is the thing,

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Speaker 1: especially when you're the ex fat kid that's wildly insecure

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Speaker 1: and you know, doesn't think a lot of yourself, and

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Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, you've gone from the fat

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Speaker 1: kid to the fit kid, to the strong kid to

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Speaker 1: the kid that's kind of jacked, and then you get

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Speaker 1: all of this attention and approval and validation and acceptance

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Speaker 1: and with an asterisk love that you didn't get. So

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Speaker 1: I literally learned, Oh when I look like this, this

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Speaker 1: is the result. And then when I look like this,

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Speaker 1: this is the result socially, And so you get taught

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Speaker 1: that what you look like matters most almost, you know.

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Speaker 1: That's the terrible lesson that I learned.

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Speaker 2: And I learned the exact same one, and I talk

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Speaker 2: about it in the book. Obviously, the books called Behind

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Speaker 2: the Mask, and I refer to the mask a lot.

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Speaker 2: I mean, in Latin, the word for mask is persona,

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Speaker 2: which I think is just so fitty, and it says

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Speaker 2: so much about the book. And we'll we're all wearing masks,

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Speaker 2: and we're all playing roles in the world, and so

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Speaker 2: that role might be the fat kid turned fit kid

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Speaker 2: turned strong kid role. And we're wearing masks for two reasons,

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Speaker 2: and they both come down to the one reason. One

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Speaker 2: because we get praise and validation and acceptance because of

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Speaker 2: the mask we wear. And two because we're trying to

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Speaker 2: hide something that's lying beneath the mask that we're wearing.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, either way, it speaks to a lack of

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Speaker 2: acceptance and a really authentic and true natured self.

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Speaker 1: That's so interesting, so interesting. I interviewed a girl last night, Lady,

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Speaker 1: I should say it, Nicole Liddell, who's up today, And

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Speaker 1: her background is really interesting. Like ten years ago, she

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Speaker 1: was forty three, two kids, living below the poverty line,

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Speaker 1: victim of domestic violence, mental health issues, morbidly obese, like

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Speaker 1: a whole bunch of stuff. And I used to when

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Speaker 1: I would go to Queensland and do gigs, she would

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Speaker 1: come and she would admit, you know, herself, like she

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Speaker 1: was pretty broken physically, mentally, emotionally, find everything right. And

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Speaker 1: I had her on the show last night. Now ten

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Speaker 1: years later, she just found a way. Fuck it. I

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Speaker 1: love what she's done and I love how she is,

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Speaker 1: and she's you know, she's now fifty two, I think

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Speaker 1: doing her PhD in psychology, done her undergrad, had never

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Speaker 1: been to UNI, had no confidence, couldn't even afford to

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Speaker 1: apply for UNI. It was like seventy dollars. One of

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Speaker 1: her friends paid for it. When she first started UNI,

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Speaker 1: people like friends used to gift her food for her,

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Speaker 1: like she was her life was really, really, really tough.

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Speaker 1: And I said, I chatted with her last night, and

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Speaker 1: you know, I wasn't groundbreaking or life changing, but it

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Speaker 1: was a really beautiful conversation and with her because she's

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Speaker 1: been through so much shit right, and now she's, in

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Speaker 1: her own words, a fifty three year old or two

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Speaker 1: year old menopausal woman. She doesn't like she's nice and compassionate,

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Speaker 1: but she can't. She can't be bothered with trying to

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Speaker 1: be what people want her to be, right. And it's

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Speaker 1: so interesting to you know, when you talk about persona,

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Speaker 1: always talk about I did not know that. By the way,

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Speaker 1: that's so interesting that persona is Latin for mask. I

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Speaker 1: talk about pisona all the time. I didn't know that,

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Speaker 1: so thank you. But the gap between the persona that

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Speaker 1: we show the world versus the person that we are.

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Speaker 1: And I said to her last night we finished the show,

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Speaker 1: and I said, you know, you are one of the

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Speaker 1: most like the gap between who you are when I

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Speaker 1: talk to you and the person on the show. It's

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Speaker 1: like there's no gap. But with almost everyone there's there's

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Speaker 1: somewhere between, a little gap, you know, Like for you,

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Speaker 1: the gap is pretty much non existent as well. I

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Speaker 1: think you are very who you are on and off right.

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Speaker 1: I try to be that. I'm not always that sometimes

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Speaker 1: I'm full of shit. But for a lot of people,

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Speaker 1: the gap is big. You know, the microphone persona is

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Speaker 1: not the person that I meet or know or talk

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Speaker 1: to away from the mic. And I think that that

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Speaker 1: getting to that point where you are just so comfortable

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Speaker 1: just being not having a mask, you know, is it

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Speaker 1: possible to not have a mask?

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Speaker 2: No? No, And I think they're really important. I talk

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Speaker 2: about that in the book. Masks aren't the enemy, right,

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Speaker 2: but when they are, when they're the master of you,

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Speaker 2: then you're in trouble. So we have to bring conscious awareness.

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Speaker 2: And that's a chapter in the book around awareness and

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Speaker 2: expanding our sense of awareness so that we come home

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Speaker 2: to something of a true nature beyond the masks we wear,

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Speaker 2: and then we can choose to put them on. Because

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Speaker 2: it's all good and well to be vulnerable, but vulnerable

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Speaker 2: without safety and trust is dangerous. So we need to

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Speaker 2: wear masks masks protection, but we need to acknowledge that

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Speaker 2: we're doing it because it's helping us, not because it's

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Speaker 2: hindering us, not because it's controlling us.

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Speaker 1: Right. But also, I want to ask you for an

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Speaker 1: example in a moment, but I guess you're talking about

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Speaker 1: wearing a mask. That doesn't make you disingenuous, right, It's

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Speaker 1: not you pretending to be something you're not. So give

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Speaker 1: me no example, give me an example of that. So

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Speaker 1: wearing a mask to protect yourself for example.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so if for me, it would be anything from

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Speaker 2: going to the supermarket, let's say, and you know, and

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Speaker 2: speaking to the checkout person as authentically as that camp

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Speaker 2: but or where that we're in supermarket zone. Now, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, two media that I might have as a performer,

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Speaker 2: and stepping into that space and just ensuring that there's

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Speaker 2: just that there's a little bit of awareness to go, hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm stepping into this mode. Now I don't have to

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Speaker 2: change who I am, but it's just there is this

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Speaker 2: little bit of protection, you know, and that we're constantly

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Speaker 2: shifting from role to role that you know, yes, there's

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Speaker 2: an authenticity that you can bring to everything because you're

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Speaker 2: comfortable with yourself and you don't care what people think,

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Speaker 2: but you do care deeply about them. But the role

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Speaker 2: of the father hold this little chicken nuggets, to the brother,

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Speaker 2: to the son, to the performer, to the coach, to

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Speaker 2: the podcast, there's all these subtle differences. And if you're

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Speaker 2: wearing masks in a way that they define who you are,

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Speaker 2: and you're going to run into a lot of trouble.

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Speaker 2: Whereas if you kind of if you have a real

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Speaker 2: deep sense of who you are and then you go,

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm placing that one unconsciously and I've got

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Speaker 2: to shift into that role. I'm slightly different with my

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Speaker 2: nephews than I am with my mother, you know, and

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Speaker 2: you're you know, you're just bringing awareness to them. Ask

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Speaker 2: and that's healthy because we don't have these and we

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Speaker 2: don't have the sign. If we don't have an ego,

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Speaker 2: you know, we don't have any sense of self as

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Speaker 2: the human And we bought a line on psychosis.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that's so interesting. What I last week I did

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Speaker 1: two gigs. I did a gig in Melbourne and gig

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Speaker 1: in Queensland. But the week before I did a gig

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Speaker 1: for all blokes and the gig I did three days

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Speaker 1: before that was two hundred ladies in a room. And

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Speaker 1: it's funny because you don't want to be yeah, you

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Speaker 1: don't want to be disingenuous. You want to be you.

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Speaker 1: But in the you know the context of what you're

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Speaker 1: talking about here, I have an awareness when I go

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Speaker 1: in front of a room full of women, I'm still

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Speaker 1: going to say what I'm going to say, and I'm

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Speaker 1: still going to operate with, you know, as much integrity

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Speaker 1: and emotional intelligence and situational awareness as I can. But

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Speaker 1: when I'm talking to that, I think it was called

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Speaker 1: women in Prince Great Group, Lovely. But I'm up there

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying to have an understanding of what's going

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Speaker 1: on for them in this moment, So I'm not just

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Speaker 1: looking through the Craig lens, but to understand for a

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Speaker 1: room full of women who've got this buffet up on stage.

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Speaker 1: You know, I'm like, how do I need to be

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Speaker 1: without being disingenuous or fake? But how do I need

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Speaker 1: to be for this hour to be great for everyone?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 2: That's how are you're painting your mask? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Right?

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Speaker 2: In what ways are you painting it? And it's you know,

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Speaker 2: the mass change's form and shape and color and and

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Speaker 2: and that. That's that's all. That's all great. I mean

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Speaker 2: our mask persona egos or whatever you want to call it,

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Speaker 2: because the sona is a component of the ego. It's

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Speaker 2: inherent part of being a human. You know, we are

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Speaker 2: a conscious being and aware being. You know, some might

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Speaker 2: call that, or some might call that. If you're hindi

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Speaker 2: it call that batman, or if you're as signed dos

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Speaker 2: you just call a consciousness or conscious awareness. Yeah, living

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Speaker 2: in a form, a psychological form and a physical form

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Speaker 2: that has an ego. So we can't kill the ego,

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Speaker 2: we can't kill off the mask. It's not the enemy.

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Speaker 2: It's about the dance that we have with it, in

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Speaker 2: the relationship we have with it. So if we have

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Speaker 2: no sense of self behind it, then we are an

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Speaker 2: ego dancing unconsciously in the world. And that is very,

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Speaker 2: very troublesome, a lot of suffering involved.

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Speaker 1: In it, and ego dancing unconsciously. Can't write that down.

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Speaker 1: I think that's almost the title of the show. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm doing my ten week program, my ten week mentoring

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Speaker 1: program at the moment, and every week we unpack different

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Speaker 1: So Monday night, seven o'clock we unpack a different idea, topic, theme,

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Speaker 1: and week two, which was this Monday night, it's just

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Speaker 1: you and your mind. So every week is like you

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Speaker 1: and your mind, you and your body, you and your

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Speaker 1: you know, your career, whatever, blahbah bah. Right, So we

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Speaker 1: just kind of and it's not so much me telling

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Speaker 1: people how shit works as it is us collectively discussing

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Speaker 1: you know, this week, you know, beliefs and ideas, and

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Speaker 1: values and consciousness and awareness and you know, pulling back

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Speaker 1: the curtain to see the world rather than your version

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Speaker 1: of the world, and having an awareness of the window

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Speaker 1: through all that kind of awareness consciousness stuff. But I

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Speaker 1: feel like when it comes to this consciousness a having

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Speaker 1: an awareness bigger than your own mind, having an awareness

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Speaker 1: bigger than your own thoughts, and trying to you know,

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Speaker 1: while our mind is definitely a gift, it's also a prison,

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Speaker 1: or it can be a psychological and or emotional prison

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Speaker 1: at the same time, to figure out how do I

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Speaker 1: coexist with my mind in a healthy way, you know.

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Speaker 2: And I talk about that a lot in the book.

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Speaker 2: And so to say that the book is certainly a mirror,

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Speaker 2: and it's a mirror because you're through my stories and

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Speaker 2: undulations in my career, you'll see yours. But it's the

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Speaker 2: important part of it is a map. And so there's

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Speaker 2: journal entries for self inquiry. There's an array of meditations

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Speaker 2: in there, and I always see meditation as really a

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Speaker 2: path back to our deeper self, a path back to

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Speaker 2: that conscious awareness. You know. People think a meditation is

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Speaker 2: about stopping my thoughts, and I can't do that, so

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Speaker 2: I'm shit at it. So I'm going to give it up.

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Speaker 2: But it's not about stopping thoughts at all. We've got

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Speaker 2: sixty thousand plus of those a day, and it's really

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Speaker 2: about changing our relationship with them. When happens when we

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Speaker 2: come from an aware place where we see our thoughts

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Speaker 2: sort of painted out in front of us and go, ah, well,

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Speaker 2: there's a negad train of thoughts that's catastrophizing. Oh there's

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Speaker 2: my reptilian brain going into a negative bias there, and

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Speaker 2: I'm going to spile it. Do you know what. I've

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Speaker 2: had that spiral many times over the last few months

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Speaker 2: or years. I'm going to see that and stop it

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Speaker 2: and catch it before it spirals and realize that's just

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Speaker 2: a narrative, that's not a truth, and that is awareness

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Speaker 2: that it is catching. Because the ego loves fear. The

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Speaker 2: ego loves separate, to separate. The ego loves me versus them,

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Speaker 2: you know, or even me versus my aware self. The

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Speaker 2: ego is a constant game of separation from everyone in

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Speaker 2: the world because it lives in fear generally, So the

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Speaker 2: tools that I put that I have in the book

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Speaker 2: to expand one's sense of awareness, because people go, how

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Speaker 2: do I become more aware how do do I mean

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Speaker 2: that phrase? And of itself? And that question of itself

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Speaker 2: probably requires a bit of awareness, you know. Well, the

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Speaker 2: thing about our suffering, So whether it's of the mind,

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Speaker 2: whether it's our anxiety, I worry, our doubts, our fears,

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Speaker 2: or whatever is, they become very sticky to our awareness.

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Speaker 2: They're very close to our awareness when they are the

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Speaker 2: governing force. And what happens when we become more aware

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Speaker 2: through practices like meditation or yoga or even somatic practices

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Speaker 2: or even Western therapies of like you know, seeing a

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Speaker 2: therapist or whatever, we start to unstick those patterns of

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Speaker 2: the egoic mind from the awareness and we can see them.

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Speaker 2: It's like a little bit more space. Psychedelics have been

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Speaker 2: amazing for that for me first and now talk about

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Speaker 2: that in the book. And as we create more space

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Speaker 2: from our true nature, our awareness, and those thought patterns,

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Speaker 2: we see how they're negatively affecting us, yeah, or really

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Speaker 2: positively affecting us. But sometimes and so you just go,

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Speaker 2: You've start to pick and choose. You become more discerning,

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Speaker 2: you become more response a ball rather than just reactive

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Speaker 2: to everything. And this is the power of an aware

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Speaker 2: and conscious being. But very few of us in the

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Speaker 2: world are plaguing in that space. And that's and the

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Speaker 2: thing is, every single human has conscious awareness. It's just

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Speaker 2: how expansive it is because it does require, in this

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Speaker 2: Western world time to cultivate it.

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Speaker 1: What was something that, something or things that for you

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Speaker 1: you became aware of that you previously were not aware of.

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Speaker 1: Or perhaps just maybe a light got shone more brightly

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Speaker 1: on something where you had to acknowledge, own up, step up,

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Speaker 1: change whatever? Is there anything in particular that for you

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Speaker 1: kind of became a greater awareness.

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Speaker 2: So I've told this story a number of times. It's

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Speaker 2: what showed me where the seed of my wounds, or

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Speaker 2: one of the major one, which is a fear of abandonment.

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Speaker 2: I talked a lot about fear in the book, fear

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Speaker 2: of the unknown, fear of abandonment, fear of death, fear

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Speaker 2: of failure. And I've had all of them. We all

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Speaker 2: have all of them in some ways. Yes, And I

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Speaker 2: was doing I was playing phantom in London. I was

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Speaker 2: starting to get very exhausted, very tired. My voice was

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Speaker 2: going and my voice rarely goes like that. And so

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Speaker 2: I went and saw the ant and he's like had

429
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 2: a scope at my cords. Nothing wrong with him, but

430
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,320
Speaker 2: I can see you're struggling. Would you be up for

431
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 2: seeing someone a little bit more esoteric? I was wearing

432
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 2: a crystal around my neck at the time. I think

433
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 2: he was. He was preaching to the choir. I said sure.

434
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,640
Speaker 2: So I went and saw this woman, Jake was her name,

435
00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:58,199
Speaker 2: and she asked me what the nucleus of the character

436
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 2: was for me? What what sort of who is he? From?

437
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 2: Child like childhood? What are his wounds? And I said, oh,

438
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 2: he was a boy born with a deformity and his

439
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 2: mother couldn't look at him, and so from the moment

440
00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 2: she had him, she threw him onto the steps of

441
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:24,280
Speaker 2: the circus and he was abandoned. So it's abandonment. And

442
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 2: she gave me a little sort of rather smile, like

443
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,320
Speaker 2: a little giggle, like this is going to be fun.

444
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 2: Took me through some hypnosis, and within ten minutes I

445
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,840
Speaker 2: was taken back to a moment when I was about

446
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: six at after school care and my parents were over

447
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,399
Speaker 2: an hour late to pick me up. It was just

448
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 2: me and the guy running me after schoolcare. I was

449
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 2: looking out the window and I just started bawling and

450
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 2: bawling like I've been holding onto this thing for twenty

451
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:55,200
Speaker 2: five plus years and like screaming, purging. And I went

452
00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 2: back to the show and never felt that same level

453
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 2: of exhausting again. So I was playing that out in there. Wow,

454
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 2: playing that out on stage subconsciously. Yeah, because the unconscious

455
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 2: mind is constantly we think we've got free wheel crave,

456
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 2: you know, but our patterns are all being moved and

457
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 2: shifted and shaped from the unconscious. It's like it's the

458
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: puppet mast and where the puppet unless we become aware

459
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 2: of these things. And so I became aware of this

460
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 2: abandonment moment. I also became aware of what was what

461
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:35,760
Speaker 2: are some of my behaviors that have manifested as a result,

462
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,919
Speaker 2: And it was an incessant need to be loved, to

463
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:45,560
Speaker 2: be noticed, to be wanted, to be validated. And I went, wow,

464
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 2: oh wow, this is this is the wound and the gift.

465
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,119
Speaker 2: My wound is this abandonment. My wound is all this

466
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 2: need for validation. But in doing so it's brought me

467
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:04,720
Speaker 2: into to performing. Yeah. What an interesting combination there. And

468
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 2: Carl Jong always speak, has always spoken, a great Swiss psychotherapist,

469
00:28:09,440 --> 00:28:13,120
Speaker 2: psychologists always spoke to the fact that the gift lies

470
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,680
Speaker 2: underneath the wound. And so there's a chapter, well the

471
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 2: small chapter in the inside a larger chapter about the

472
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,080
Speaker 2: wound and the gift and asking people then to self

473
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 2: reflect upon their potential wounds and what that might have

474
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 2: manifested into a gift, but also how it's manifesting ways

475
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 2: that are detrimental to you and probably those around you

476
00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:35,719
Speaker 2: are the people you love. So that was very insightful.

477
00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the whole thing about free will and how

478
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: how in one way, like we're at the in one way,

479
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 1: we're at the mercy of our kind of brain chemistry

480
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: and our biology and our DNA and our genetics, and also,

481
00:28:56,240 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: as you said, our subconscious mind that's holding onto this

482
00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:03,720
Speaker 1: stuff and kind of you know, pulling the strings, I

483
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: guess for one of a better term. And yeah, we do.

484
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:11,200
Speaker 1: I do think most of us think we're pretty self aware,

485
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 1: you know, and we're pretty in control. But you know,

486
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,400
Speaker 1: I kind of think that's just a story that we

487
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 1: tell ourselves.

488
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think if you're saying that you're self aware,

489
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 2: I'm self aware in a sort of very dogmatic or

490
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 2: even defensive way. Yeah, I would I think there's an

491
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:38,400
Speaker 2: opportunity for greater self awareness my way of saying that. Yeah,

492
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 2: And you know, I've done so much work on this,

493
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 2: and yet I feel at days like I'm just at

494
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: the beginning. Y, you know, And as long as I'm

495
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: bringing a level of curiosity to my internal world and

496
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,920
Speaker 2: the external world, then I know that I'm becoming aware.

497
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,480
Speaker 2: The moment I feel like I've stopped being curious, yeah,

498
00:29:57,760 --> 00:30:00,000
Speaker 2: then I'm going, well, now I'm being righteous?

499
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: Yeah right, Yeah. Even the idea that like we we

500
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:15,480
Speaker 1: all like to think that we're open minded and objective Mike, Well, yeah, no,

501
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 1: like I'm not. I would love you know, like you

502
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: try to think that you and maybe you're more open

503
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: minded and objective than you once were, But if you've

504
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 1: got pre existing ideas and beliefs and biases and likes

505
00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:33,160
Speaker 1: and dislikes, then you're always processing life through that lens, right,

506
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: Like I can't help but judge the world subjectively because

507
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 1: I'm me, even though I understand what that means, and

508
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 1: I understand the idea of total open mindedness, which doesn't

509
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: exist an objectivity, you know, yeah, that being able to

510
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 1: go Look, I I don't want to be but of

511
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 1: course I've got biases. Of course I'm prejudiced, but not

512
00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 1: hopefully not in a terrible way, but you know what

513
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: I mean. And of course I've got pre existing thoughts

514
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 1: and beliefs and experiences which really shape how I process

515
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 1: data and how I tell myself stories about what's going on.

516
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 1: But I think for many of us, a lot of

517
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: the time we don't see the gap between what is

518
00:31:18,040 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 1: and our story about what.

519
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 2: Is exactly, and so pulling on that thread, I would

520
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 2: argue that we don't need to get harsh on ourself

521
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 2: for a lack of open mindedness, but can we transcend

522
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 2: that idea and sink into open heartedness so that yes,

523
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 2: we have our beliefs and whatever, but our heart is

524
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:56,719
Speaker 2: open to the feelings of another human being. And this

525
00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:02,920
Speaker 2: is where compassion, empathy, understand forgiveness start to come in.

526
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,240
Speaker 2: And these are all themes in the book as well,

527
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,960
Speaker 2: where you know compassion. I think the best definition I've

528
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 2: heard is one from the podcast I do. The same

529
00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 2: name behind the Mask I came in from for an

530
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 2: organization called Social Health Australia and they basically deal with death, dying,

531
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:29,240
Speaker 2: loneliness and grief and he describes compassion as shared suffering. Wow,

532
00:32:29,560 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 2: And I don't think that is something that is of

533
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:34,360
Speaker 2: the mind. Yes, you have to put yourself in there

534
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: and make a choice, but it's something that's of the heart.

535
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,320
Speaker 2: So you might have a completely different belief system to

536
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 2: that person and have different ideas around the world and

537
00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 2: political agendas, and you might think that Trump's are learning

538
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 2: and they might think that Trump's a hero. But in

539
00:32:52,520 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: what they're experiencing, your heart is open to sharing that

540
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 2: that's suffering with them, whatever that might be for them,

541
00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 2: even if they're not in in grief or death or dying,

542
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 2: just as another being, that is, as another soul, you know,

543
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,239
Speaker 2: seeing people beyond God the psychology of the mind and

544
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 2: their belief system and seeing into a deeper part of them.

545
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:21,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I could.

546
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 2: I could on one hand, go, oh, for me, Trump

547
00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:27,520
Speaker 2: isn't someone who aligns with my values as a as

548
00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 2: a human being. But I can also love him from

549
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 2: a soul's perspective because I can also I can also

550
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 2: see his upbringing, his wounds, he's suffering, you know, his

551
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 2: daddy issues, and see how all of you know, his

552
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 2: nurture has manifested into what he is today and that's

553
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 2: not me pitying him, that's just me loving him at

554
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 2: at a sort of deeper, deeper level. No, I don't

555
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 2: agree with what he does, but I can be compassionate

556
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 2: towards somebody suffering and.

557
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 1: A little bit of that. I love that, by the way,

558
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:07,160
Speaker 1: and I wish we could all be like that. I think,

559
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:12,160
Speaker 1: you know, seek first to understand, right, like understand going

560
00:34:12,239 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 1: trying to understand Donald Trump, for example, the moment that

561
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,919
Speaker 1: you go, look, I understand him, people go fuck him,

562
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,560
Speaker 1: fuck you fuck you know. It's like I didn't say

563
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 1: I love him, or I didn't say I support him,

564
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:29,840
Speaker 1: or I didn't say I align with his ideas or behavior.

565
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:33,479
Speaker 1: It's just like I'm trying to understand, and I'm trying

566
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,920
Speaker 1: to understand the good and the bad. I'm trying to

567
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:41,040
Speaker 1: understand people that I love naturally and normally, and then

568
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 1: people that I struggle with, I'm trying to understand them too.

569
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:50,239
Speaker 1: And that also this how don't know this? Maybe you

570
00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:52,400
Speaker 1: can explain this better than me, but it seems like

571
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 1: this fucking obsession that people have, especially online, with being right,

572
00:34:58,480 --> 00:35:03,160
Speaker 1: like being right, like we're right there and whatever group

573
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 1: it is, right, well, we're the right group, they're the

574
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: wrong group. This is the right idea, that's the wrong idea,

575
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 1: this is the right theology, wrong theology, right, you know,

576
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 1: fucking political system.

577
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 2: You know.

578
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 1: It's like just to be able to coexist with others

579
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: and communicate and connect and be kind with people who

580
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: don't agree with you or think like you or live

581
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 1: like you, perhaps while not condoning horrific behavior, of course,

582
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: but just like trying to get out of your own

583
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: fucking echo chamber, you know, and realizing that, by the way,

584
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 1: you've been wrong about many things in your life, and

585
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,759
Speaker 1: so you're probably going to be wrong moving forward. I

586
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 1: know I've been wrong, I don't know a million times.

587
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 1: I'm probably going to be wrong another million times. And

588
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 1: if I don't acknowledge my own fallibility and flaws and

589
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 1: propensity to fuck up and get the thing is wrong,

590
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:03,160
Speaker 1: then I'm a problem.

591
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:08,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, so well said. And yeah, throughout throughout the book,

592
00:36:08,800 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 2: that's what I'm doing. I'm sort of showing where I

593
00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 2: failed and my imperfections and where I'm trying to grow,

594
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 2: and that the fact that it's a process and there's

595
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 2: you know, there's learning, and then in the learning, there's

596
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 2: forgetting and remembering and back to forgetting and back to remember,

597
00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 2: and it's all that's a part of the dam too.

598
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 2: But speaking, you know, to speak further on your point,

599
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:31,759
Speaker 2: This is what I was talking about. The ego wants

600
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,439
Speaker 2: to do. It loves to separate, It loves to say

601
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 2: I'm right, you're wrong, me versus you, us versus them.

602
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:43,000
Speaker 2: And from a soul's perspective, and this is where the

603
00:36:43,320 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 2: book moves from the mind down into the soul. Like

604
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:52,760
Speaker 2: it's got a sort of downward slowly. It moves downward,

605
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,040
Speaker 2: which is very soulful. And I always describe the soul

606
00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 2: as slow and down rather than up and fast. It's

607
00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:01,879
Speaker 2: not getting you up here, it's not up in woo

608
00:37:01,880 --> 00:37:04,239
Speaker 2: woo land. And you don't think quickly. You get there

609
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 2: slow down. So you've got to move down there slowly.

610
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 2: So I also ask people to read the book slowly,

611
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 2: you know, to slow down in it. So it's a

612
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:14,799
Speaker 2: solful act. But from a soul's perspective, there isn't us

613
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 2: in there. There's only I and I. Yeah. And so

614
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,720
Speaker 2: when you look into the eyes of another soul, really

615
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 2: choose to understand and choose to look beyond their conditioning

616
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 2: and beyond your you know, very one side of belief systems,

617
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,279
Speaker 2: or your righteousness or your need to be right or

618
00:37:37,440 --> 00:37:40,760
Speaker 2: you need to carry more weight or whatever. You really

619
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:45,399
Speaker 2: just see another soul looking back for you with all

620
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 2: the same you know, neurosis and suffering and this and that.

621
00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 2: But everyone has, you know, experiencing and in that and

622
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 2: seeing their imperfections is a mirror to your imperfections. That

623
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:04,080
Speaker 2: is what connects us. Where's the ego and it's need

624
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 2: to be right? Yeah, it's always playing in a game

625
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 2: of separation.

626
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 1: For me, I feel like all the stuff that you

627
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 1: that you know just mentioned neurosis and all of the

628
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:22,239
Speaker 1: you know, my myriad of psychological and emotional issues like

629
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: most people self doubt, impostle, all that stuff, and you know,

630
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,920
Speaker 1: I feel it's like I used to try to eradicate that.

631
00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,320
Speaker 1: I used to try to get that out of my life,

632
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,560
Speaker 1: like I, fuck, I don't want to be fearful. And

633
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: then then I realized, oh no, dude, that's never going

634
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: It's about how well you can coexist with that.

635
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,320
Speaker 2: How do you respond to it? Yeah?

636
00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 1: How do you? Okay, So you're about to go and

637
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 1: do a talk at wherever and and there's lots of people,

638
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,400
Speaker 1: and you're getting paid lots and there's a little bit

639
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:56,960
Speaker 1: of expectation, and by the way, don't fuck it up,

640
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 1: it's being filmed and all this stuff, right, and then

641
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: and then in the middle of your anxiety or your

642
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: self dad or your moment of whatever, it's it's like, yeah,

643
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 1: but I'm still here and I'm still doing this. And also,

644
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 1: you know, so what can exist. I think this is

645
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: interesting is simultaneously these things can coexist. Where the emotion is,

646
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: you know, fear and self doubt and blah blah blah

647
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,840
Speaker 1: blah blah, and then the prefrontal cortex, the mind or

648
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 1: the part the part of the brain, is like, yeah,

649
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,560
Speaker 1: but you've done this many times and you're not terrible

650
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: at it. In fact, this is why you're here. This

651
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,360
Speaker 1: is why you're getting paid this much. This is why

652
00:39:35,719 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: you have this opportunity because you have a track record

653
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 1: and you can do this. You know, so those things,

654
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 1: the knowledge that I'm not shit can coexist with the

655
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 1: feeling I am shit.

656
00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the great thing about the great thing about

657
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 2: the mind on the prefrontal cortex. I don't know whether

658
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:57,800
Speaker 2: you know about meditation, actually thickens at the process of meditating.

659
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:00,520
Speaker 2: There was a great study done at harv not too

660
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 2: long ago to show about ten minutes of meditation a

661
00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 2: day can pick in the free front of cortex so

662
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 2: and change the relationship between the three fund of cortex

663
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,440
Speaker 2: and the mid diller. So it helps us with our memory,

664
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:17,359
Speaker 2: our focus, and our emotional responsibility, which is amazing. What

665
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 2: I've learned is that that, yeah, that stuff doesn't go.

666
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:23,959
Speaker 2: I still have the same neuro season and whatever else,

667
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 2: but how I respond to it has changed a lot.

668
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:29,000
Speaker 2: Like when I see it come up, like rather than

669
00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:33,319
Speaker 2: go no, don't like what wei persist? Right, So when

670
00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 2: I go no, anxiety, you're not allowed here, You're not

671
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 2: allowed here, the anxiety goes, hey, I'm coming up for more. Yeah,

672
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 2: I'm going to get your kettle. So when I see

673
00:40:41,760 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 2: it coming out, it's more like exactly like, I know

674
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,520
Speaker 2: I've done this in many times. I'm good with this,

675
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 2: but I always have like a gig all to myself.

676
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, hey, old mate, you still care. Yeah,

677
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 2: Because if I wasn't slightly anxious or had those nerves

678
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,440
Speaker 2: before a performance, I think Pavarotti said I would say

679
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,800
Speaker 2: in the book if you're not scared, it doesn't matter,

680
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 2: and you want it to matter, the same way a

681
00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 2: line gets a bit anxious before it it goes, it

682
00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 2: takes down at zebra. You need that, You need that

683
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,760
Speaker 2: heart rate, their ability to shift like it's got it.

684
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 2: It's got to start pounding a little bit because this

685
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 2: matters to you. There's care, and because there's care, there's love,

686
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 2: And so I've reframed it from a place of love

687
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,440
Speaker 2: rather than a place of fear.

688
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, so interesting. Why do you think that so

689
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 1: many of us so often, if not all the time,

690
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 1: some of the time seek approval and validation from people

691
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: either we don't even know, or who actually don't care

692
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 1: about us or even like us, but we still want

693
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 1: their approval or their validation or acceptance. What do you

694
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: think that is about.

695
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:56,319
Speaker 2: I think it's about our inherent not enoughness that has

696
00:41:56,360 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 2: been built into us since day dot, especially in West

697
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,960
Speaker 2: and society is sort of touched on this at the start.

698
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 2: But you know, there's something I talk about in the book,

699
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 2: which I'd love to hear your thoughts on. But you

700
00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,279
Speaker 2: go to school, you study year eleven and twelve, and

701
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 2: I just decided to study theater theater studies or dance

702
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 2: and whatever because I want to go and do musical theater,

703
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 2: and someone else studies physics and higher level maths because

704
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 2: they want to become a doctor or you know, astrophysicists

705
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 2: or something at maths and whatever. And we're both a

706
00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 2: genius in our separate ways. We both have skills and

707
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 2: talents and passions, and they're very different. Their subjects are

708
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:49,040
Speaker 2: marked up, right, The system says, you're doing something hard.

709
00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 2: You need to be marked up because this is very hard.

710
00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:56,920
Speaker 2: The system says to me, you're that dance and that drama,

711
00:42:57,040 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 2: that's data studies, that's really easy, So that's to be

712
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,239
Speaker 2: marked down. So your mark is going to be lower

713
00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 2: than that person's mark because your genius lies in a

714
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 2: different space. And that breeds so much self worth, so

715
00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 2: many self worth issues with the young people already that

716
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:26,800
Speaker 2: they're in a system that says, because our intelligences are different,

717
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,320
Speaker 2: like that that physics and maths guy. Show me how

718
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:35,360
Speaker 2: he's going to recite Shakespeare with the sort of depth

719
00:43:35,440 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 2: of a turn of phrase and eloquence of tongue that

720
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:42,359
Speaker 2: I can. But on the other hand, I'm not going

721
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:45,720
Speaker 2: to be able to handle that very intricate physics equation,

722
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 2: you know. But what it does is it says you're

723
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 2: you're smart, you're done. Yeah, you do easy stuff, he

724
00:43:53,960 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 2: does hard stuff or she does hard stuff, and that

725
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,920
Speaker 2: from a very early age. With we're dealing with that

726
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,279
Speaker 2: system in our education. We're doing that problem with our

727
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 2: education system. We're also dealing with marketing constantly everywhere we go,

728
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 2: telling us we're not enough until we have that new TV,

729
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 2: that that new house, that better car, that different type

730
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:19,920
Speaker 2: of soda, that different type of cereal or whatever it is,

731
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 2: that different type of beauty product, health product. We're just

732
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:29,960
Speaker 2: getting told that we are inherently not enough until until this,

733
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 2: until that and or that new bum or whatever it is.

734
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 2: And that just breeds it because we don't because it's

735
00:44:39,600 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 2: happening when we can't actually form conscious awareness. It's happening

736
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:49,279
Speaker 2: from day dot. So this is this is the wrong.

737
00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,439
Speaker 2: Even parenting. You know, you're a good boy, bad boy,

738
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,480
Speaker 2: you know all of this sort of do this, you're good,

739
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 2: do this, you're bad like, so we're constantly going I'm

740
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,400
Speaker 2: not enough in the world. And when we hit people

741
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 2: who you know, we come across in the street or

742
00:45:01,880 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 2: we don't know we're constantly in a cycle of tell

743
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 2: me I'm enough, yes, to validate me, because I am

744
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:15,719
Speaker 2: not valid in my own sense of self. And that's

745
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:17,960
Speaker 2: a lot about what this book's about. But not enoughness

746
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:22,400
Speaker 2: epidemic that we live in. How do we become fully

747
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:29,440
Speaker 2: loving of ourselves in all our ways, all those imperfections,

748
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:34,800
Speaker 2: without having to rely purely on the extrinsic world to

749
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,839
Speaker 2: fuel us and feed us, because it's because you never

750
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 2: get enough from it. You know, the theory that what

751
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:47,319
Speaker 2: we're after in this world isn't the bigger car or

752
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:50,919
Speaker 2: better car, or bigger house or better house, or new

753
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:55,279
Speaker 2: bum or you know, new Telly or whatever it is,

754
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:59,239
Speaker 2: or new genes. It's the feeling we think we're going

755
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 2: to feel when we obtain that thing. And yes, momentarily

756
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 2: we do feel it. It's a steroid, but it never lasts,

757
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 2: and we scratch and claw and climb and chase to

758
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 2: get something else and something else, something else. But that

759
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 2: feeling is a feeling, so it lives inside of us. Yes,

760
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,239
Speaker 2: it's we're getting it from the outside world, but it

761
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 2: lives inside of us, which means it can be cultivated internally.

762
00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,760
Speaker 2: And that feeling that we're after is the feeling of bliss,

763
00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 2: the feeling of contentment, the feeling of safety, the feeling

764
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,680
Speaker 2: of security, you know, the feeling of peace, and the

765
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 2: the sanscrit word for this which I talk about, so

766
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 2: you know, I do call upon a lot of my

767
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 2: sort of study of Hinduism, Buddhism and stuff like that

768
00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:51,800
Speaker 2: in the book is an under which does translate into bliss,

769
00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:54,800
Speaker 2: but not purely from a euphoric sense, from a grounded sense.

770
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:58,680
Speaker 2: And we actually have Ananda mites in our body as

771
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 2: a chemical in our body that it's our bliss hormone.

772
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 2: Son even science is taking stuff from Sanskrit at times,

773
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 2: but we can cultivate that feeling internally and we should

774
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 2: try to. This isn't about happiness, because happiness is a

775
00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 2: state that comes and goes, and if we're happy, we're sad.

776
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,320
Speaker 2: If we're up, we're down. So we're always chasing the

777
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:23,600
Speaker 2: up we're asking to go on the roller coaster. It's

778
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 2: about chasing, or not even chasing. It's about moving into

779
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 2: a space that is more full of contentment, equilibrium and

780
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 2: peace internally so that we're not just on that hurry

781
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 2: to grab everything externally to fill us up momentarily love it.

782
00:47:42,800 --> 00:47:44,239
Speaker 1: Equanimity as well.

783
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:44,960
Speaker 2: Equanimity.

784
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's you know. The funny thing is, okay, this

785
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 1: seems like it's a stretch, but I don't think it is.

786
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:56,480
Speaker 1: So when we think about the way that society views

787
00:47:56,520 --> 00:48:00,719
Speaker 1: success and talks about and defines success, like if I've

788
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:03,359
Speaker 1: got I mean you do what I do as well.

789
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:06,719
Speaker 1: Now you know you're in front of audiences chatting. If

790
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,080
Speaker 1: you and me are in front of a room of

791
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 1: a thousand people and you say put up your hand

792
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: if you want to be successful, every hand goes up.

793
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to be a failure, right, And then you go, cool,

794
00:48:15,680 --> 00:48:17,919
Speaker 1: just jot down, you've got a minute, just write down

795
00:48:17,960 --> 00:48:20,800
Speaker 1: what that is. And then people go, what is I go, success,

796
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 1: you want it? What is it? Right? And so people

797
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:27,120
Speaker 1: get a bit perplexed with that because for a range

798
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 1: of reasons I won't go into, but I think for

799
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 1: most of us we grew up in a psychological, sociological,

800
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 1: cultural model that says success is about things. Success is

801
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,319
Speaker 1: about what you have and what you earn, and what

802
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:45,239
Speaker 1: you own, and what you look like and where you

803
00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:47,440
Speaker 1: live and what you drive, and what people think about

804
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 1: you and what people say about you and how smart

805
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,480
Speaker 1: you are, Josh, and how smart we think you are,

806
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:58,440
Speaker 1: and blah blah, blah blah, all of these external things.

807
00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:01,280
Speaker 1: And of course there's nothing wrong with being the great singer,

808
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 1: the great performer, or the great fucking anything, or driving

809
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 1: the Ferrari. These aren't bad things in and of themselves.

810
00:49:07,920 --> 00:49:10,319
Speaker 1: But the problem is when you think that success or

811
00:49:10,360 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 1: happiness or contentment or calm or equanimity or whatever it is,

812
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 1: when you think that that's an outside in process, you're

813
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 1: fucked because it isn't. Now, there is a correlation and

814
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:24,240
Speaker 1: a relationship that's kind of interactive between internal and external worlds,

815
00:49:24,239 --> 00:49:28,200
Speaker 1: of course, But you know this comes down to as

816
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 1: you were talking, I'm thinking this relates to one this

817
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:33,719
Speaker 1: kind of whole idea around success that we grow up

818
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 1: in and you and I have met successful. In fact,

819
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 1: you've been the successful person who from the outside looking

820
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 1: in people like, fucking look at him. But the inside

821
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 1: out you're a fucking train wreck right at times, You're

822
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 1: a psychological, emotional, spiritual train wreck despite what it looks

823
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: like from the outside, right, And they don't that doesn't

824
00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:57,920
Speaker 1: people like, no, but look at him, he's done to

825
00:49:57,960 --> 00:49:59,120
Speaker 1: day and you're like, well.

826
00:49:59,200 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 2: And you are God some careers that online that tell

827
00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:05,399
Speaker 2: me otherwise through Sorry's Instagram and that photo says he's

828
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 2: killing it. How could he possibly be feeling these feelings

829
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:12,839
Speaker 2: that a human feels, you know, behind the mask he's wearing.

830
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 1: And I think, so I love going All right, let's

831
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:20,480
Speaker 1: just let's not judge that. Let's just think about that

832
00:50:20,600 --> 00:50:24,319
Speaker 1: idea or that version of success, and now let's talk

833
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,800
Speaker 1: about this really boring thing called setting goals. So everyone

834
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 1: that I talk to and everyone that picks up your

835
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: book on some level is picking up your book because

836
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 1: they'd like to create some kind of positive shift on

837
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 1: planet them. So that involves, well, where are you and

838
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 1: where do you want to be? What do you have

839
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,000
Speaker 1: and what do you want less of? And what do

840
00:50:44,040 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 1: you want more of? And maybe in you know, with

841
00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:50,160
Speaker 1: your current operating system whatever the fuck that means what's

842
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:53,400
Speaker 1: working and what's not working. So when I say to people, Okay,

843
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:55,920
Speaker 1: what are some of the things that you want? So

844
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 1: we talk about the what right, and then they go this, this, this,

845
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 1: I go great, Now, let's unpack that why do you

846
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:05,759
Speaker 1: want those things? Because the why is your actual goal,

847
00:51:06,800 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 1: Like the what is just the thing that you think,

848
00:51:09,400 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 1: as you were alluding to a few minutes ago, it's

849
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: what you think that will do for you, Like why

850
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:17,759
Speaker 1: do you want to be jacked, Craig, Well, I want

851
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 1: to be jacked because I feel I wouldn't have said this,

852
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:23,920
Speaker 1: but this is I feel unloved. I feel unlovable. I

853
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 1: want people to like me, want me think I'm great.

854
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 1: I want guys to be a little bit intimidated because

855
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 1: I'm wildly insecure and I'm a fucking idiot, and I

856
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: want girls to think I'm hot and bah and then okay,

857
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,319
Speaker 1: why do you want all that, Craig, Oh, let's go

858
00:51:39,360 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 1: to the net. Well, I fucking hate myself and I'm insecure,

859
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 1: and I think if I get all of that, these feelings,

860
00:51:47,719 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 1: these emotions, this in a turmoil that will go away.

861
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 1: Ah well maybe probably not, though, you know, it's like

862
00:51:56,520 --> 00:51:59,720
Speaker 1: when you start to put your thinking, you know, metacognition,

863
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 1: where you're thinking about why the fuck you think? There's

864
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,799
Speaker 1: a time to get out of your mind. There's a

865
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:07,800
Speaker 1: time to get into your mind, right when you start

866
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 1: to think about so these stories that I have about success,

867
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:12,880
Speaker 1: are they true?

868
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 2: You know?

869
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: And how has it gone for me? In the past,

870
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:18,640
Speaker 1: like how many mountains have I climbed only to get

871
00:52:18,680 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 1: to the top and go, fuck, this is not the mountain.

872
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 1: It must be that one over there.

873
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:26,799
Speaker 3: Right, And that doesn't matter where we are, It's not

874
00:52:26,840 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 3: where we want to be because it ain't about you know, where,

875
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:32,839
Speaker 3: It's about who you are and how you are.

876
00:52:33,600 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, And to pull on a couple of things there,

877
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, there is a process of what and why,

878
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:45,520
Speaker 2: and then after why it's why why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

879
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:47,160
Speaker 2: The real what.

880
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:49,520
Speaker 1: Exactly?

881
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:51,759
Speaker 2: Yeah?

882
00:52:51,800 --> 00:52:53,480
Speaker 1: And then what and then what and then what? And

883
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 1: then are here? We are?

884
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 2: And I think we get to a point on this

885
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:03,000
Speaker 2: journey of climbing mountains, which is really the first part

886
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 2: of the hero's journey from Joseph Campbell's perspective. If people

887
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:10,680
Speaker 2: know about Joseph Campbell's Hero's journey Joseph Campbell amazing American

888
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:13,520
Speaker 2: literature professor who coined that and that's now used in

889
00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 2: like Star Wars and Harry Potter and various things. That

890
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:21,359
Speaker 2: first part of life is very you know, for want

891
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 2: a better word, self serving narcissistic traits. You know, me

892
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 2: and me me? What can I obtain from the world?

893
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 2: How high can I climb whatever. At some point we

894
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:33,799
Speaker 2: meet an ordeal, we meet a crisis moment or a

895
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 2: crucible moment, and in that there's a dark knight of

896
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:38,840
Speaker 2: the soul or whatever you want to call it. And

897
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,719
Speaker 2: this may happen many times in our life. But in

898
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 2: that we pull the wisdom, we get that elixa, that

899
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:50,880
Speaker 2: gem where we go, ah, that's the truth in this

900
00:53:51,080 --> 00:53:55,520
Speaker 2: are And on the second part or third part after that,

901
00:53:56,560 --> 00:54:01,360
Speaker 2: you know, obstacle or crisis moment, we see that life

902
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 2: is generally not about what we can get from it,

903
00:54:04,480 --> 00:54:07,279
Speaker 2: but what we can give to it, how we can

904
00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 2: contribute positively to the world, What impact can we have

905
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,839
Speaker 2: on others that helps them on their journey. And we

906
00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:17,600
Speaker 2: return on the hero's journey back to where we came

907
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 2: a new you know, we have a different philosophy, a

908
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 2: different outlook on life. And for me, it's definitely been

909
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 2: that you know, how many mountains I can climb, you know,

910
00:54:25,600 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 2: and what's the view from here? It's not good enough yet,

911
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:32,160
Speaker 2: like you, maybe the mountain, maybe the next mountain, But

912
00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:35,360
Speaker 2: for me now it's very much even if I am performing,

913
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 2: which can feel self serving, you know, can be about

914
00:54:39,280 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 2: look at me, look at me. I've switched that into

915
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 2: how can I serve? How can I contribute, so that

916
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:46,800
Speaker 2: it's no different from coaching or from writing this book,

917
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 2: which is about how can I take others up the mountain?

918
00:54:51,120 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 2: How can I help them on their journey? And that's

919
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 2: a huge shift point. Then things feel purpose driven. And

920
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:01,160
Speaker 2: I think if we live a life that is feels

921
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:04,280
Speaker 2: purposeful so that we are contributing positively to the world,

922
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:09,960
Speaker 2: that's if that is a huge part of what is

923
00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,280
Speaker 2: truly fulfilling from an intrinsic perspective.

924
00:55:14,800 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 1: Mate, I love talking to you so interesting.

925
00:55:16,719 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 2: I love talking to you to her brother, we share

926
00:55:18,640 --> 00:55:21,400
Speaker 2: so much more stuff and see such different journeys and

927
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:23,759
Speaker 2: such similar journeys.

928
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now you're embarking on the dad journey.

929
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know what, during it was really cute. They

930
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 2: do this thing. I think people copies know this where

931
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:37,120
Speaker 2: they dream about being back on their mother's teeth. And

932
00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 2: so she was just sucking away like like you know,

933
00:55:41,320 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 2: like Maggie Simpson with her dumb It was cute. My

934
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,200
Speaker 2: little my little chicken wing.

935
00:55:51,040 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 1: She's very bloody cute.

936
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:52,720
Speaker 2: Mate.

937
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:57,799
Speaker 1: So the book is called Behind the Mask Everyone, Where

938
00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:58,520
Speaker 1: do people get it?

939
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:04,799
Speaker 2: Literally? Any bookstore, you know, major bookstores, not as not

940
00:56:04,840 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 2: as big ones. You can get it online via Amazon

941
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:12,400
Speaker 2: or on ebook by Amazon as well, but the easiest

942
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,840
Speaker 2: way is just to go to my Instagram at Josh Pittterman,

943
00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:17,120
Speaker 2: click the link in the bio and it's got all

944
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 2: the different retailers there, so you can just grab it there,

945
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 2: or you can rock up to your local Dimmicks or

946
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 2: reading store or columns whatever.

947
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:27,160
Speaker 1: It's Yeah, the old fashioned way on foot, the old

948
00:56:27,200 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: fashion way, go and buy an actual book in your

949
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 1: hand with pages. Wow, look at it. Look at it.

950
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:41,239
Speaker 1: We say goodbye, fair but congratulations, I'm excited to read it.

951
00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 1: I'm sure we'll our readers will jump on board as well.

952
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 1: And yeah, thanks for sharing all those insights. We love

953
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:48,680
Speaker 1: chatting with you.

954
00:56:49,320 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 2: Love chanting with mail. You're a gym.

955
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:53,919
Speaker 1: That's a lot, brother, Thanks buddy, that's a love