WEBVTT - Prepare For The Bad Stuff With Carly Taylor

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<v Speaker 1>Everyone, it's Carli here for this week's Mojo Monday. So

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<v Speaker 1>we would all have a story where we've lost it.

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<v Speaker 1>So something's happened and we've exploded with anger or went

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<v Speaker 1>into a complete panic, or we said something we regretted

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<v Speaker 1>almost immediately, and then afterwards you look back and you think,

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<v Speaker 1>that's actually not who I want to be. And one

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<v Speaker 1>of the reasons I love practicing stoicism is that it

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<v Speaker 1>trains us to stay calm and self aware even in

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<v Speaker 1>those moments, not because the emotion disappears, but because we

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<v Speaker 1>want to act in line with our values even when

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<v Speaker 1>things feel really intense inside us, because when we don't,

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<v Speaker 1>we tend to get hijacked, and so we react instead

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<v Speaker 1>of respond, and often that outcome is something that really

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<v Speaker 1>could have been avoided. But here's the key. That ability

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't just show up when you need it. You can

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<v Speaker 1>actually train yourself for this. And that kind of reminds

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<v Speaker 1>me of this great stoic line from Seneca. So he said,

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<v Speaker 1>if you would not have a man flinch when the

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<v Speaker 1>crisis comes, train him before it comes. So one way

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<v Speaker 1>to train it is to stop pretending life will always

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<v Speaker 1>go to plan. So if you walk around assuming everything

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<v Speaker 1>will work out, or you don't even want to kind

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<v Speaker 1>of consider the bad stuff. You're setting yourself up to

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<v Speaker 1>be pretty much blindsided. And Ryan Holliday talks about devastation

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<v Speaker 1>as that feeling of being completely crushed and shocked by

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<v Speaker 1>an event. And a big part of that shock comes

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<v Speaker 1>from this, we actually didn't think it would happen, or

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<v Speaker 1>we didn't acknowledge that it would happen. So instead we prepare.

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<v Speaker 1>So you prepare for the judgment of others, you prepare

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<v Speaker 1>for the discomfort of a tough workout, or you prepare

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<v Speaker 1>for not getting the job, or prepare for things going wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>And this isn't being pessimistic, it's actually being realistic. It's

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<v Speaker 1>in a ready way. You can even visualize it, and

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<v Speaker 1>this is what the Stoics used to practice. See the

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<v Speaker 1>situation in your mind and then see yourself handling it well.

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<v Speaker 1>So staying calm, speaking with intention, acting like the person

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<v Speaker 1>that you want to be. And of course there's no

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<v Speaker 1>crystal ball. You can't predict everything, but you can build

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<v Speaker 1>a mindset that's not shocked by difficulty because the reality

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<v Speaker 1>is life is hard. Hard things will happen, whether you

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<v Speaker 1>think positively or not. So the question isn't can I

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<v Speaker 1>avoid it? It's more can I be ready for it?

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<v Speaker 1>And when you are, you don't just get through it,

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<v Speaker 1>you actually show up as the person that you want

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<v Speaker 1>to be. So this week, instead of just hoping that

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<v Speaker 1>everything goes smoothly, ask yourself what might be hard in

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<v Speaker 1>this situation? What could be really challenging this week? And

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<v Speaker 1>how do I want to show up when it is

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<v Speaker 1>so Train that because the moment will come, and then

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<v Speaker 1>when it does, you'll be ready for it. So have

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<v Speaker 1>a great week everyone, and I will catch you next week.

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<v Speaker 1>Seeya