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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bounce Forward with me, Tip Haul.

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Speaker 2: I'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 2: on which I'm recording this podcast, the weredar people of

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Speaker 2: the cooler Nation.

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Speaker 1: I pay my respects for elders past and present.

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Speaker 2: Today on Bounce Forward, I have the amazing Jesse Stevens.

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Speaker 2: She is an author executive editor at Mama Mia, as

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Speaker 2: well as co hosting news and pop culture podcasts Mama Mia,

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Speaker 2: Out Loud and comedy podcast Canceled. You may have also

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Speaker 2: seen Jesse Gracial TV screens on the ABC and as

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Speaker 2: a regular host of the Project on Channel ten. Jesse

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Speaker 2: is also a mom to Luna and I can't wait

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Speaker 2: to talk to her on Bounce Forward.

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Speaker 1: Here's Jesse now. So, Jesse, you're a twin and I

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Speaker 1: was really interested to hear from.

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Speaker 2: You because my sister and I had our babies four

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Speaker 2: weeks apart, right, and you and Claire had babies not

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Speaker 2: too different in a So what is that experience like

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Speaker 2: going through motherhood together as a twin.

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Speaker 3: It has been one of the greatest gifts of this

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Speaker 3: period of my life. Four weeks I am I'm sort

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Speaker 3: of jealous, but then I also think you would have

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Speaker 3: been in the trenches at very much the same time.

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Speaker 3: Claire and I. Our girls are about five months apart, okay,

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Speaker 3: and so it's been amazing to have. In one way,

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Speaker 3: I was the luckier one because I got Claire for

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Speaker 3: five months and she was amazing. She would come over

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Speaker 3: and just like she just wouldn't leave. She'd come over

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Speaker 3: at nine o'clock in the morning and it would get

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Speaker 3: to like two o'clock and my husband would say, Claire,

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Speaker 3: you probably need to go home, like, you can't just

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Speaker 3: live in our house because there's a baby here now.

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Speaker 3: But she couldn't. She was so over with how much

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Speaker 3: she loved Luna, and Luna loved her. And then her

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Speaker 3: baby came along, and I was very worried that I

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Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to give her the same time that

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Speaker 3: she'd been able to give me because I had a

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Speaker 3: five month old. But I'm really glad that I've been

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Speaker 3: able to help in terms of being a few steps ahead.

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Speaker 3: So everything from like I don't know breastfeeding, even though

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Speaker 3: everyone's journey is very different, but sleeping and all the trinkets,

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Speaker 3: and every time Luna grows out of something or she's

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Speaker 3: moved on from a toy. There are just bags of

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Speaker 3: stuff at Claire's doorstep, and her knowing having someone just

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Speaker 3: ahead of her, I think has been really good. But

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Speaker 3: as you would know, it's indescribable the love that you

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Speaker 3: feel for your niece or nephew. That's been so surprising

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Speaker 3: to just have her, to have Matilda, and I'm like,

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Speaker 3: oh wow, I love her as if she were my own.

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Speaker 3: She's just the best thing in the world.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that beautiful? Is there any sibling rivalry with it?

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Speaker 2: Because I find with my sister we've both got girls,

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Speaker 2: Margo and Vader, and they're both so close in age.

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Speaker 2: It's like, well, Margo's talking, Vader's not, and you know,

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Speaker 2: Vader's crawling, Margo wasn't.

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Speaker 1: And it was just always comparing. Do you have any

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Speaker 1: of that?

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Speaker 3: There's a little bit of that, And I think that

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Speaker 3: you naturally worry when it's your first because you go, oh,

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Speaker 3: should they have hit this milestone? So Claire will always

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Speaker 3: go back and she's like, Luna was crawling at this

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Speaker 3: age and Matilda hasn't started crawling. But then on the

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Speaker 3: other hand, I look at Luna is very small. She's

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Speaker 3: always been small, slow to put on weight. And I

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Speaker 3: look at Matilda and that's never been an issue for her,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, it took Luna so many more months

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Speaker 3: to get to that size. So you just learn, I

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Speaker 3: suppose that every baby. I mean, we've got identical genetics,

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Speaker 3: so these girls are technically half siblings and they are

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Speaker 3: so different, and you just go. You get the baby,

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Speaker 3: you get in terms of temperament, in terms of milestones,

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Speaker 3: and that's actually a really beautiful thing to learn that.

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Speaker 3: It's not that you're doing anything wrong. If your baby

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Speaker 3: walks a bit later, it's just that they're going why

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Speaker 3: would I walk? Crawlings easier? And I'm like, yeah, I

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Speaker 3: regret ever learning to walk.

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Speaker 2: Actually, yes, yes, Isn't it such a stress when your

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Speaker 2: baby's not putting on weight?

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Speaker 1: Like that was?

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Speaker 2: My baby was the same and we were at the

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Speaker 2: maternal health nurse every week for a way in and

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Speaker 2: Vader just was difficult with the breastfeeding and wouldn't wasn't

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Speaker 2: feeding and I was trying with the breastfeeding, but she

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Speaker 2: was losing weight. So it is such a stress, isn't it.

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Speaker 2: Isn't the early stage just a bit of nightmare.

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Speaker 3: I'm so glad to hear you say that, because we

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Speaker 3: were we were the same. I was breastfeeding every two hours,

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Speaker 3: even overnight, and she was throwing. She was a bit

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Speaker 3: of a refluxy baby. But they said to me, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: it's not as much as you think. It looks more

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Speaker 3: than it is blah blah blah. And we would go

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Speaker 3: after a week of me breastfeeding ten or eleven twelve

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Speaker 3: times a day, round the clock, and I would go, Okay,

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Speaker 3: she has to have put on weight. They and one

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Speaker 3: week I remember going and she'd lost thirty grams and

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Speaker 3: I was going, I have never worked so hard at

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Speaker 3: something and failed so much. Yeah, and I still don't

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Speaker 3: like she was a bit slower. I was a small baby,

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Speaker 3: but that to me, that and eventually a doctor said,

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Speaker 3: it's you know, failure to thrive because she's not put

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Speaker 3: on the amount of weight she should have. That was

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Speaker 3: the hardest bit of the whole journey, that, you know,

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Speaker 3: the effect you feel like you have one job, which

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Speaker 3: is to feed your baby, and you feel like you're

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Speaker 3: failing at it. And it was, Oh, I am glad

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Speaker 3: to be out of that period.

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Speaker 2: I must say, I really do think that mothers need

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Speaker 2: so much support in that beginning six weeks.

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Speaker 1: It's just so hard, isn't it. You just yeah, very tormented.

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Speaker 3: By I went in and you know, I've worked at

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Speaker 3: a women's media company for a lot of years. I've

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Speaker 3: spoken to so many people as you would have about breastfeeding,

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Speaker 3: and I have no judgment for anyone who does formula.

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Speaker 3: So I thought, if the breastfeeding doesn't work, it doesn't work,

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Speaker 3: it's fine. What I didn't expect was that you go

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Speaker 3: to a lactation consultant and I would say, look, breastfeeding

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Speaker 3: doesn't appear to be working. She's not getting on. Wait

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Speaker 3: do I do formula? And it was like the prescription

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Speaker 3: was always going to be the same, which is breastfeed harder,

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Speaker 3: breastfeed harder, breastfeed harder. And I was like, it's not

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Speaker 3: working for us. Who can I go to? Who's going

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Speaker 3: to give me? I think? I ended up seeing a

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Speaker 3: pediatrician who was just a lot more pragmatic and went

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Speaker 3: give her a bottle and see if.

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Speaker 1: It helps, Yeah, give it.

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Speaker 3: And I needed commission.

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Speaker 2: I was power pumping, and you know, I would pump

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Speaker 2: before a feed and then pump after a feed, and

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Speaker 2: then feeding ridiculous, like you were, and the pumping was

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Speaker 2: really doing my mental health in so I just I

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Speaker 2: lasted a couple of months, but I just couldn't. But

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Speaker 2: with my son, I exclusively breastfeed him for over twelve months.

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Speaker 2: So how does it not work? Like? Why is this

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Speaker 2: not working? I just beat myself up. But like you said,

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Speaker 2: every baby is different. They come to you and you

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Speaker 2: just get what you get, right exactly.

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Speaker 3: And my sister I had issues with breastfeeding that were

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Speaker 3: totally different, but the pumping thing was. And some people

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Speaker 3: are just you know, enjoy it or it doesn't bother

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Speaker 3: them too much. But I found it like dehumanizing and

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Speaker 3: I would sit there on the like I felt as

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Speaker 3: though when I was pumping, I couldn't hold my baby,

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Speaker 3: and so I would just be sitting there staring at

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Speaker 3: a wall, going I feel.

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Speaker 2: Like a cow.

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Speaker 1: Ye, it's old, isn't it.

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Speaker 3: This isn't working. And you know, women have been breastfeeding

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Speaker 3: since the beginning of time, and this is as good

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Speaker 3: as we've got in terms of a pump.

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Speaker 1: Like, I know, the pumps are terrible.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you're so right. They need to invent something. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they need to look into that whole feeding thing. Oh

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Speaker 2: so Jesse, I have to ask you about your relationship

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Speaker 2: with health and fitness because you know I'm a personal trainer.

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 2: What type of exercise do you enjoy? Are you a

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Speaker 2: very sporty person or or you know.

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Speaker 3: I actually I really enjoy exercise. So I've been doing

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Speaker 3: reformer pilates for probably seven or eight years amazing, which

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Speaker 3: I I think I enjoy it because I don't get bored.

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Speaker 3: It's very you know, from balance to changing it all up,

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of stimulation. Whereas I couldn't go for

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Speaker 3: a run, I would get very bored during pregnancy. Actually,

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Speaker 3: I also swam a lot, which I really enjoyed.

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Speaker 1: That's great. That would have felt amazing, felt so no gravity.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and even I got a lot of like ribbon

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Speaker 3: back pain and so the movement of getting my shoulders

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Speaker 3: and that rotation I think was really good. But since

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Speaker 3: having lunar, I you know, was thinking about, all right,

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Speaker 3: if I want to get pregnant again, what what would

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Speaker 3: be I would like to be really really strong, and

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Speaker 3: even though reformer plarti is great, I thought I'd like

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Speaker 3: to lift weights like I'd like to. I can't remember

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Speaker 3: what it's called, but you know, behind your shoulder blades,

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Speaker 3: what's that your posture muscles? Yes, like yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I want to get that really strong. I want to

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Speaker 3: get my glutes really strong so that you know, pregnancy,

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Speaker 3: to me, it was carrying around this extra weight and

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Speaker 3: it takes. Yes, I'm also right through your thoracic you

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Speaker 3: sort of hunch because of the feeding and the carrying

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Speaker 3: open all that up exactly, so it's like and even

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Speaker 3: your boobs get massive, so you just get this. Like

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Speaker 3: I felt as though I was hunched over for the

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Speaker 3: second half my pregnancy. So I started going to the gym.

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Speaker 3: I can commit to three times a week, which I'm

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Speaker 3: very like proud of with a one year old, so

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Speaker 3: I do a lot of like arms which you need

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Speaker 3: when you carry them around and that back bit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, lats yeah yeah yeah.

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Speaker 3: And I have felt such a difference. I feel really

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Speaker 3: I feel really strong.

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Speaker 1: Oh that is awesome. That is awesome.

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Speaker 2: Has your relationship with exercise change much since you've had Luna,

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Speaker 2: like massive body or how you feel in your own

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Speaker 2: body life?

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Speaker 3: Oh, massively. When I went to so I signed up

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Speaker 3: to a new gym and they had like a like

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Speaker 3: a wellness consult with a PT and I was like,

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Speaker 3: I want to see a female because in the past

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Speaker 3: I've seen a male PT who I felt like was

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Speaker 3: telling me what I needed. But I wanted to tell

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Speaker 3: her why I was going to the gym, and I said,

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Speaker 3: I am not here to make my glutes look a

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Speaker 3: certain way. I'm not here to get a six pack.

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Speaker 3: I'm not here to lose weight. I'm here to make

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Speaker 3: sure I'm not in pain. I don't want to be.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to have back pain, and like, for

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Speaker 3: functional reasons, I want to be able to pick up

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Speaker 3: my baby. I want to be able to go for

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Speaker 3: long walks. I want to be able to get down

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Speaker 3: on the floor and be able to do that for

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Speaker 3: the next forty years of my life. And I felt

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Speaker 3: like she really understood what I was trying to say.

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Speaker 3: And since doing that, it's like how I feel in

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Speaker 3: my body and feeling like I'm switching the right muscles

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Speaker 3: on and I'm not getting the saw hips and the

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Speaker 3: saw back, which you kind of get inevitably when you're

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Speaker 3: doing so much picking up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that is so great. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm going to pause things right there and I'm

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Speaker 2: going to come back with a part two very very soon.

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Speaker 2: Thanks so much for listening to Bounceport. I love having

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Speaker 2: your company, so please dm me on Instagram at tif

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Speaker 2: haul Underscore XO and let me know all the questions

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Speaker 2: you'd love me to cover. Don't forget to rate and

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Speaker 2: review me on your podcast out speak soon.

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Speaker 1: Happy days,