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Speaker 1: All right, Jake, tell me how you would feel in

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Speaker 1: this scenario. You're in a loving Why does your face

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Speaker 1: look so blank?

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Speaker 2: I am waiting for your scenario.

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Speaker 1: Let me wait the way I want to wait, so

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Speaker 1: look more enthusiastical.

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Speaker 2: But I need to think over my answer.

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Speaker 1: All right, all right, right, tell me how you would feel.

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Speaker 1: You're in a loving relationship. You're about to get down

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Speaker 1: and dirty. You're in the bedroom. Everything's happening, happening so

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Speaker 1: quickly fun. You go to take your pants off. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you take him off first, so you're now stuck in

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Speaker 1: winning the pool state. Yeah yeah, and then before my

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Speaker 1: shirt yeah, crazy, I know. And then you go to

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Speaker 1: take your socks off and fall over. You hit your

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Speaker 1: head on the bed, So it's fine, but your girls

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Speaker 1: they're just laughing at you. How do you feel.

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Speaker 2: Embarrassed? Pro I guess stimulated, kind of a stimulated winning

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Speaker 2: the poop. The stimulation in my doodle is gone, it's

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Speaker 2: definitely gone. But very embarrassed even with a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: No. I've once taken my pants off first, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, what am I doing?

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Speaker 2: You're not a fan?

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Speaker 1: Neither not a fan.

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Speaker 2: I might I've shirt off, always.

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Speaker 1: First, always shirt off. First, I think it was cold ones.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I jeans on and uncomfortable. I get

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Speaker 1: these things.

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Speaker 2: I always get for some reason. I always always forget

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Speaker 2: to take my pants off before I get in. Like,

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Speaker 2: it would be so much sexier if I would take

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Speaker 2: my shot off while in bed, because it's sexy to do, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: all I have to do is just like, back off

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Speaker 2: the bed, take my pants off. That's what I do,

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Speaker 2: get back on the bed. I'll never do it on

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Speaker 2: the bed. I've always do it on the bed.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy excited, that's so.

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Speaker 2: I I'm an eager beaver.

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Speaker 1: I'm eager for that beaver.

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Speaker 2: I'm eager for that bea. Yeah, I don't think I think.

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Speaker 1: That's what it's called. I disagree highly.

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Speaker 2: What's it called the urban dictionary for beaver?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I reckon an animal? Yeah, I don't want to

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Speaker 1: look it up on another phone. Here see addicted to

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Speaker 1: my fire down there, I'm right, Urban dictionary beaver beaver? Urban?

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Speaker 1: Are you giving some relation to like? Oh? I think

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Speaker 1: her damn what they make you? Right?

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Speaker 2: Beaver another word for a vagina or pussy. Oh that

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Speaker 2: pitch got a hairy beaver?

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Speaker 1: All right? Sex icon I can admit what I'm wrong

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Speaker 1: for that beaver?

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Speaker 2: Alright, so really I text birth for that bea let

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Speaker 2: me go?

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Speaker 1: How would you feel eager for that beaver? What are

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Speaker 1: we starting today's episode with?

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Speaker 2: Things girls do that I think are unreasonable but somehow

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Speaker 2: makes me love them more.

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Speaker 1: Jake came up with this, and when he first did it,

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Speaker 1: I was a little bit scared enough nervous. Yeah, but

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Speaker 1: I think they're good.

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Speaker 2: Well you've got protection. Yeah, because you could say anything

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Speaker 2: right now and it's making you love them more.

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Speaker 1: I don't think you can say anything, but you okay.

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Speaker 2: Things girls do that I think are unreasonable but somehow

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Speaker 2: makes me love them more, saying quote I'm fine when

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Speaker 2: clearly they are not fine. You're trying to play a

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Speaker 2: little game with me, are you? Oh? You want me

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Speaker 2: to pick like i'm picking at ice. You want me

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Speaker 2: to pick away because I will get the answer I need.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I see it, I say it.

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Speaker 2: I will get the answer I know to be true.

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Speaker 1: I know what to do here. Yeah, because you're not fine,

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Speaker 1: It's more like it's lucky. I love you all right.

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Speaker 1: Things girls do that I think are unreasonable but somehow

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Speaker 1: make me love them more. Get mad at me and

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Speaker 1: their dreams and stay mad for me at me for real?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, why is it that when that happens, it's

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Speaker 2: kind of like like, I'm not upset that it's happened, right,

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Speaker 2: it's not real. And I'm also not upset that she's

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Speaker 2: mad at me about it, because it's like when she

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Speaker 2: I just think it's kind of funny when it happens

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Speaker 2: because she's mad at me, But also she's not going

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Speaker 2: to break up with me, and we're not going to

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Speaker 2: have a fight about this because she's not actually going

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Speaker 2: to argue with me about why did you treat on

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Speaker 2: me in my dream? And so I just kind of

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Speaker 2: get to watch this unfold and watch her be upset

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Speaker 2: for no reason and then come to the fruition of it,

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Speaker 2: come to the fruition of it was just a dream.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's her subconchi.

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Speaker 2: You could hit her back with like why are you

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Speaker 2: dreaming about that? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Or you could either dream that we got married either

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Speaker 1: of that.

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Speaker 2: WHOA, your girlfriend wakes up and she wakes you up.

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Speaker 2: You were in you are in a nice peaceful slumber. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And your girlfriend wakes you up and she says that

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Speaker 2: she's pissed because she just had a dream that you

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Speaker 2: cheated on her. And then you go, well, I'm pissed

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Speaker 2: because you just interrupted the dream of us getting married.

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Speaker 2: And then you roll back over and said kiss your teeth,

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Speaker 2: and you fucking you roll back over and go back

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Speaker 2: to sleep, and you go, I'm gonna go finish his

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Speaker 2: dream now.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if that would be good. Let me

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Speaker 1: get back to it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I was busy. Okay. Things girls do that

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Speaker 2: I think are unreasonable but somehow makes me love them more.

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Speaker 2: Saying no to a snack from the petrol station, knowing

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Speaker 2: full well if I don't get said snack that apparently

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Speaker 2: you don't want, I am in trouble.

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Speaker 1: That does make me love them more. It's cute. They

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Speaker 1: do it on purpose. They do do it on purpose.

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Speaker 1: Something about games in a relationship or the talking stages,

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Speaker 1: you se. These cute little ones, innocent ones that have

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Speaker 1: no mal intent, are really nice.

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Speaker 2: I document a time where I don't get her anything.

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Speaker 2: Record it, Yeah, like I to mic you.

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Speaker 1: Something petrol and like my godfrien said you didn't want

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Speaker 1: a snack, And you know what I'm gonna do, not

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Speaker 1: get her one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll just start recording my phone, and I'll be like,

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Speaker 2: do you want it? And I'll have me going like, hey,

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Speaker 2: I'm going just felt car, do you want anything from inside?

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Speaker 2: And she's gonna say nah, what if she says she

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Speaker 2: wants something, because then she has a great reason to

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Speaker 2: be down but not getting it. So I have to

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Speaker 2: do it multiple times until she says no, no, I'm good,

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Speaker 2: I'm good. So I'll go okay, you sure it will

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Speaker 2: happen the first time. You sure? And then I'll go

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Speaker 2: in and I'll be like, hey, guys, I'm looking at stuff.

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Speaker 2: I'm looking at the drinks, I'm looking at snacks. I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to get everything, go back out, and she's

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Speaker 2: what's the bet? It's all just a bruise and she

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Speaker 2: won't even say a thing.

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Speaker 1: True, But you don't want to make her sad. You

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Speaker 1: want to get her a snack and see that smile

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Speaker 1: on a face? Fair, fair, Okay. Things girls do that

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Speaker 1: I think are unreasonable but somehow make me love them more.

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Speaker 1: Ask me to choose where to eat, then veto every option.

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Speaker 1: I say, I don't know if that makes me love

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Speaker 1: them more. I like it they are, and then I

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Speaker 1: say all these options like oh nah, no, no, like,

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Speaker 1: why did you ask me?

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Speaker 2: Maybe I like the fact that it makes us a

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Speaker 2: normal couple.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're not perfect. Yeah everything exactly, yeah exactly.

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Speaker 2: Things girls do that I think are unreasonable but somehow

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Speaker 2: makes me love them more. They ask you if you

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Speaker 2: like their outfit and you say, I love it. You

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Speaker 2: look amazing, and then she changes her outfit.

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Speaker 1: I might have to disagree here because she looks good

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Speaker 1: either way, and I actually did like it. I wasn't lying.

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Speaker 2: This may just be unreasonable.

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Speaker 1: I think that might be unreasonable. Don't ask me change

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Speaker 1: it before you knew you were going to change it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that was tough.

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Speaker 2: The classic like be honest. Yeah, yeah, and I know

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Speaker 2: I actually like it. No, but be honest, yeah, you

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Speaker 2: can wear anything. Bage.

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Speaker 1: Things girls do that I think are unreasonable but somehow

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Speaker 1: make me love them more. I definitely love them more

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Speaker 1: when they do this whisper out, when they bump into

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Speaker 1: literally anything. Oh facts, that's a good one. That is

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Speaker 1: a good one. Ship that just like hit the elbow,

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Speaker 1: the slightest bit on the little cupboard.

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Speaker 2: I like that. It's so cute Beth has she does.

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Speaker 2: She's a classic girlfriend of like the big reactions and

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Speaker 2: I was getting to a point where, like I was

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Speaker 2: getting her reaction was big enough for me okay, okay,

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Speaker 2: and then she'd be like yeah, yeah, yeah, and then

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Speaker 2: I would be like, God, stop doing that. But now

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Speaker 2: I I she could genuinely hurt herself, and I don't

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Speaker 2: I think it was. I think it's like a boy

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Speaker 2: your crowd war situation. Because I'm genuinely not gonna I've

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Speaker 2: stopped reacting to.

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Speaker 1: Her think of that. Yeah, I remember when you first

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Speaker 1: started dating, like you were driving. She's like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: you thought you like hit a dog or something, and

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Speaker 1: then she just forgot her phone. Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, please, please don't do that because I'll crash.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, legit, I'll literally crash.

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Speaker 2: But right, okay, it's my last one. Things girls do

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Speaker 2: that I think are unreasonable but somehow makes me love

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Speaker 2: them more. I've been through this birthday parties for their dogs,

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Speaker 2: all right, because I went to it, yeah, or he

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Speaker 2: came to it, because I literally if I had a

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Speaker 2: dog and didn't have a girlfriend and it was just

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Speaker 2: me and my dog hanging out, I gotta say I

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Speaker 2: probably also wouldn't even celebrate its birthday in general, just

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Speaker 2: between us but having a girlfriend and having a dog,

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Speaker 2: you have like the dog's friends over and have a

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Speaker 2: party and make an edible cake for the dogs and

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Speaker 2: wants them have a good old time.

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Speaker 1: That might be very unrelatable.

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Speaker 2: I reckon it's more relatable than you think. I think

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Speaker 2: people have little dog parties or at least celebrate their

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Speaker 2: dog's birthday often, and I genuinely think it's unreasonable, but

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Speaker 2: it makes me love them more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely makes you love them more. And you're

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Speaker 1: like wow, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Because I would This is unreasonable.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very unreasonable. Whole day. I wouldn't do this

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Speaker 1: for my kid.

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Speaker 2: Who what are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Okay, my last one too. Things girls do that I

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Speaker 1: think unreasonable but somehow make me love them more. Get

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Speaker 1: distracted while talking mid story and say, wait, what was

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Speaker 1: I saying?

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Speaker 2: Again, that's Adhd, bro, that's just Adhd.

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Speaker 1: And then I have to be there and remember what

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Speaker 1: she was talking about, like you, you're on this little

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Speaker 1: like way I've got to do.

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Speaker 2: The thing that's bad about me is depending on how

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Speaker 2: interesting the story was. Asking me what she was talking

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Speaker 2: about is useless because I don't know, Because I don't know.

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Speaker 2: That's toxic. No, it's not.

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Speaker 1: Your arm was shaking when you're drinking.

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Speaker 2: That it's not toxic.

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Speaker 1: Whatever. All right, Jake, we got something a bit different

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Speaker 1: up next. We've done What's the Bare Minimum for the

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Speaker 1: Modern Man, which really should bring the bar up, hopefully slightly.

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Speaker 1: And I thought I came up with this, this would

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Speaker 1: be a fun, unique, different little thing that a lot

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Speaker 1: of I don't know, I do you reckon men get

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Speaker 1: men get created when they think about texting their girlfriend

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. They do?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do sometimes. Yeah, I'm a poem guy.

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Speaker 1: What do you do poems?

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Speaker 2: The roses are red type of thing.

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Speaker 1: Change it up a bit. Yeah, I thought this might

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Speaker 1: like turn a few gears for some men, maybe okay,

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Speaker 1: And also it's just fun and I wanted to lean

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Speaker 1: into the lovey cringiness. Yeah, this is creative messages to

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Speaker 1: send her to start a day.

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Speaker 2: I would like to preface. When we were talking about

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Speaker 2: doing this, yeah, I sort of thought like, yeah, they

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Speaker 2: need to be good messages, right, Yeah, they don't have

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Speaker 2: to be good and lovey dovey. But I didn't think

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Speaker 2: it was like a set and stone thing. So that's

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Speaker 2: all I need to say. So when I read mine,

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Speaker 2: that's why mine are the way they are.

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Speaker 1: So when you saw the word creative, you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was like, okay, they're not that creative, but they're

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Speaker 1: just more they're just weighs.

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Speaker 2: Here we go. I think what I was thinking was

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Speaker 2: it wasn't set in stone and directly stated that her

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Speaker 2: day had to start off good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, well mine are all wholesome. Okay, okay, I'll

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Speaker 1: start that's good. That's good. Simple, and they progressively get cringey.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we're going cringe factor.

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Speaker 1: Let's go. I like cringe in my relationship. Okay, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but if you don't, you might not like them. This

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Speaker 1: one's simple, not that cringe. So you text it. It

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Speaker 1: depends on the format too, very caption dependent, little hashtag,

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Speaker 1: little hashtag, daily reminder, hashtag, hashtag, I love you, have

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Speaker 1: a good day, little brackets. You're man, oh that's really cute.

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Speaker 1: Yeah that's quite cute. Yeah, it's creative, like a little

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Speaker 1: daily reminder pops up like it was an app. Like

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Speaker 1: it's just not a normal text message. Simple.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I see where you're going with that one. No cute,

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Speaker 2: very cute, Okay, left turn creative messages to send her

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Speaker 2: to start her day. Hey girl, Remember, if you drink

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Speaker 2: enough water, you won't get a headache.

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Speaker 1: Is that from Jake?

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Speaker 2: Which is actually I would like to state from me,

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Speaker 2: quite a hypocritical thing to say, because quite often it's

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Speaker 2: best drinks enough water and at the end of the

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Speaker 2: day I have a headache from not drinking enough.

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Speaker 1: We mitigate into that all of yours like that? No, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right, this one, this one's purely like something I

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Speaker 1: would say, Okay, okay, insight into Oddie's relationship, creative messages

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Speaker 1: to send her to start her day and context. I

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Speaker 1: use bitch in good like it means something good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, No, you'll let me playful

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Speaker 2: with yeah yeah yeah.

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Speaker 1: To the baddest bitch of them all, have a good day,

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Speaker 1: slay away. I just have to say I love the

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Speaker 1: way we are And if that boss is a prick today,

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Speaker 1: I'll wait your call where you can tell me about

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Speaker 1: it all.

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Speaker 2: Oh damn Well, Marcus Aurelius, who's a poet? I don't

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Speaker 2: know any poets? Wow, Surelius? He is a gladiator. Marcus

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Speaker 2: Aurelius was an emperor of Rome.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, he was a gladiator.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I thought Mark's Aurelius was like a meditation. Dude.

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Speaker 1: No, he's one hundred percent of Gladiator. He's from that

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Speaker 1: movie The Gladiator. That's Marcus.

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Speaker 2: It's his name Marcus.

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Speaker 1: Today. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I think I'm a feeling. He was like the leader

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Speaker 2: of a fucking Roman.

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Speaker 1: City and he just was like chill as he was

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Speaker 1: he was, and then he got d throned and he

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Speaker 1: had to win back his right. He like thrown.

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Speaker 2: I will say, here we go the word that explained

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Speaker 2: that you're a scholar, you're a true scholar.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, man, a man of words. Here we go.

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Speaker 2: Creative messages to send her to start her day roses

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Speaker 2: are red. I woke up feeling woozy, and then I remembered,

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Speaker 2: my girl's ass is juicy. Start the day with a

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Speaker 2: compliment of waking up feeling bad and then feeling good

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Speaker 2: because of her.

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Speaker 1: What was that word woozy?

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Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing, A bit woozy and woozy doesn't

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Speaker 2: rhyme with juicy.

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Speaker 1: Creative messages to send her to start a day. Warning,

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Speaker 1: world's hottest woman just woke up.

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Speaker 2: That's good. I like that. That's not the one just

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Speaker 2: before that was a bit cringey, So the cringe factor

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Speaker 2: is actually going back there.

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Speaker 1: My last one's really critty.

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Speaker 2: Creative messages to send her to start her day depends,

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Speaker 2: all right, This one is depending on just how you

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Speaker 2: wake up feeling, and then whether or not this actually happened,

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Speaker 2: and yeah, what mood you are in towards her? Okay,

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Speaker 2: I feel you had a dream last night. You cheated

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Speaker 2: on me, don't bother apologizing we're done?

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Speaker 1: Is that I guess. I guess that's creative. You tick

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Speaker 1: that box. I think I'm stripping away your scholar title.

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Speaker 1: I thought there was going to be a kick you

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Speaker 1: at the end. No, no, like, don't worry about it. I

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Speaker 1: still love your something that would have been nice. You

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Speaker 1: could add that. But I say, your girl's working. Your

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Speaker 1: girls waking up days and confused, and I was funny

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Speaker 1: about that.

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Speaker 2: Is like she's got to wake up, go to work,

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Speaker 2: get ready to go to work, and I just don't.

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Speaker 2: So I'm just having fun telling her don't to worry

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Speaker 2: about it. No, I mean I'm not worrying about it.

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Speaker 2: Telling her to worry about it.

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Speaker 1: Like that?

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Speaker 2: Look fair. Look I wouldn't actually send it.

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Speaker 1: My last one is that you out? Yeah, created messages

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Speaker 1: to send her to start her day. To whom it

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Speaker 1: may concern, I made breakfast for the love of my life.

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Speaker 1: It's on the bench. I'll be back at four to

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Speaker 1: retain my title in UNO. Until then, miss me mildly

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Speaker 1: or dramatically your choice, love you, Damn.

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Speaker 2: I gotta say, that's cute. Yeah, that's actually that's a

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Speaker 2: good message to wake up to. But it sounds to

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Speaker 2: me kind of like, so have you woken up early

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Speaker 2: and left?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, okay, yeah. And I was going to go

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Speaker 1: more toxic on the you know, but I decided against that.

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Speaker 2: Cassie told me that you're a sore winner and a

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Speaker 2: sore loser.

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Speaker 1: I don't lose. What do you mean? She said, They've

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Speaker 1: never beaten me once in UNO, never never once, Like

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Speaker 1: she's beat me in one single game, but like over

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Speaker 1: we always played three to five games. Yeah, he's never

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Speaker 1: once beaten me.

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Speaker 2: So she's beatn you in single games yeah yeah, but

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Speaker 2: not like the She said, you are the sorest winner

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Speaker 2: and the sorest loser, like like when you win. So

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Speaker 2: obviously if she wins a game, I dare say, you're

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Speaker 2: just silent. Let's go again. I was like, pure lucky.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you just got lucky, and you

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Speaker 1: know he's just lucky.

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Speaker 2: And then when you win, say the five out of

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Speaker 2: how many games, first of five.

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Speaker 1: I'll do laps.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you get up, you're like, yeah, you know, she's

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Speaker 2: just sitting there like, okay, that's right. I keep playing

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Speaker 2: this game with Beth Banana Grams and it's about putting words.

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Speaker 1: Together and well best smart.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she's so much smart.

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Speaker 1: It's unfair. Yeah, if you play like Duodle or something

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Speaker 1: for you okay, guys stimulated