1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:03,480 Speaker 1: This is the Fits In with Kate Richie podcast. Have 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: you guys heard about the term the flip? It's got 3 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,800 Speaker 1: nothing to do with flipping the bird, I know that much. 4 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: It's a relationship theory that explains why millions of couples 5 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,560 Speaker 1: break up around this time of the. 6 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:19,720 Speaker 2: Year, what like January. 7 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:23,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's about love chemicals, Kate, ever heard of love chemicals? No, 8 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 1: they are the chemicals and the endorphins that race through 9 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:30,280 Speaker 1: the excitement of your body and brain when you start 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,840 Speaker 1: a relationship. I love an orphans. Oh my god, I'll 11 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: buy them anywhere. 12 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,559 Speaker 3: Well, you do. And this is the thing. When you 13 00:00:37,640 --> 00:00:40,879 Speaker 3: do see someone, when you're physically attracted to them, there 14 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 3: are a lot of endorse and endorphins that you release. Endorphins. 15 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 2: You're thinking of the. 16 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 3: Endorphins that you do release and it's like, oh my gosh, 17 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,400 Speaker 3: I'm feeling I feel so good about myself looking at 18 00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 3: that person. But are you saying that that doesn't last 19 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 3: very long? 20 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: Well, they say that it lasts between four and six months. 21 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 1: That's the excitement of the start of a relationship. 22 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:04,960 Speaker 3: Is that the honeymoon theory? 23 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:06,279 Speaker 1: That is the honeymoon period? 24 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,840 Speaker 2: I thought, well, that's grown because I always thought that 25 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 2: it was about three months. 26 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:13,759 Speaker 1: Does off early for you? Does it? You're early? 27 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 2: This is like, I'll give it twelve weeks. 28 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 3: So are you saying anyone that meets Kate Richie, the 29 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:23,399 Speaker 3: first three months are really important that you keep you 30 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:25,960 Speaker 3: for seek and try to get to it and look 31 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,119 Speaker 3: the best you can for the first three If. 32 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: You're not getting everything right in the first three months 33 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,399 Speaker 1: of a relationship with Kate Ritchie, I'll tell you what, 34 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: walk out yourself. 35 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 3: You can imagine every every bloke now puts a puts 36 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 3: a reminder in their calendar. Jesus only going a week 37 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,119 Speaker 3: ago three months. 38 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 2: By the skin of your teeth, old mate. 39 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: Apparently our brains are buzzing with dopamine and serotonin, creating 40 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 1: a laser focus on our partner, and that's why you 41 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: engage so deeply with him at the start of a relationship. 42 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 2: I imagine if you could bottle this. 43 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,560 Speaker 1: Thing, oh, I wouldn't it be exciting? And then unfortunately 44 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:09,079 Speaker 1: the energy and the dynamic shifts, causing the change in 45 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,679 Speaker 1: emotional priorities. The thing is, the dopamine drop in the 46 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: male is meant to be more drastic than the female, 47 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: so it's more likely that the male around that six 48 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: months mark, if we want to push it out there 49 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: to be generous, the rapid drop in the dopamine will 50 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: then cause the male to say, I think this is 51 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: done because the impact emotionally is so dramatic. They've now 52 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:37,640 Speaker 1: lost interest and they all say, I'm sorry. This is 53 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,480 Speaker 1: called the flip. You're out of here. 54 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,680 Speaker 3: Do you get the same feeling though, of the dopamine 55 00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 3: and the endorphins and that when you look at a 56 00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 3: picture of someone like does Tom get that when he's 57 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 3: on kindled Jenna's Instagram account? Like, Tom, do you still 58 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,279 Speaker 3: get those indorphins? 59 00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: No, that's more I admire her as a business woman 60 00:02:58,639 --> 00:03:02,679 Speaker 1: business endorphins. It's certainly not Tom and over the holidays. 61 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 1: I know you. 62 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:08,079 Speaker 3: Like like business endorsements. 63 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,520 Speaker 2: So are you saying that a woman a woman's feelings 64 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 2: begin to change or the chemicals going on in their 65 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 2: body become different. But they're not. They're not as extreme 66 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:22,959 Speaker 2: because we're used to settling for mediocrity. 67 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:26,079 Speaker 1: No, it's more that you're prepared to settle down into 68 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: the right relationship. 69 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 2: Commit. 70 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're ready to commit where the guys ready to flip. 71 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: So that's the moment where you start to reassess the 72 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:38,600 Speaker 1: relationship and work out whether this is a potential forever 73 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,720 Speaker 1: or this is a clear breakup. We're at a good age? 74 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: Is this where we should be here? Everything was exciting 75 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: and now you're just rolling over when we get into 76 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 1: bed together. So maybe not like that? 77 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 3: So maybe could I suggest that it also comes down 78 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 3: to the individual as well, because you know what I love, 79 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 3: I love I love you Kylie as well. 80 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: I love Kylie. It's different. 81 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 3: But does Kylie have is she? Is she a massive 82 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 3: candidate for the flat? 83 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:09,080 Speaker 1: Yes? 84 00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 2: I know what you're saying, because I think that sometimes 85 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 2: don't know how to It's like some footy teams, right fits. 86 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaker 2: You know, they can play well, but they just don't 87 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 2: know how to win. 88 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 3: So it's they. 89 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 2: Where So so as far as the girls go, or 90 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 2: people in general, they can do a relationship, but they 91 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,159 Speaker 2: just like, how do they you know? The next step 92 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 2: is very hard for them and they can find themselves 93 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 2: in a habit of when they don't have those big 94 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,839 Speaker 2: levels or high levels of dopamine or whenever it is 95 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 2: you're talking about, they think that the relationship is done 96 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 2: rather than seeing that as the next chapter of their relationship, 97 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,800 Speaker 2: and if you're just chasing the high dopamine, you will 98 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: never you'll never set it all down. 99 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: Do you know what, though? How bad is that feeling 100 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 1: in your mind when you switch off in a relationship 101 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: and it's like you know they don't know, but you 102 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,760 Speaker 1: can't help but hide what you're thinking because your actions 103 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:12,279 Speaker 1: have changed the immediacy of the text message, the kindness 104 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 1: and the loving words. You flick the switch. 105 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 3: Always perfect and you're perfect timing. Throw Lisa and Rose 106 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 3: Bay on the line. 107 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: You understand the flip, do it? Your bags are outside. 108 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,960 Speaker 2: It's very sad because it doesn't it doesn't mean there's 109 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 2: anything wrong. 110 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: No, sometimes you just want to say, it's not me, 111 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:36,200 Speaker 1: it's you. 112 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 3: Yuck. Imagine those poor women over the years that have 113 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:44,640 Speaker 3: been told by Michael Whippley that it's not me, it's you. 114 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,520 Speaker 1: Do you know what? There was one girl in particular, 115 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: I remember she had like camo undis on. I just 116 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 1: remember this part, and she was sort of kneeling. 117 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 2: Why did you see your niggers? 118 00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: Because she was in bed and she was sort of 119 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: kneeling on the bed and she was going, don't dump me, 120 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: and she said, and I said, but we're breaking up. 121 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,560 Speaker 1: She said, we're not breaking up because two people have 122 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,159 Speaker 1: to agree. And I said, well, I don't want to 123 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 1: be with you anymore. She said, but I want to 124 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: be with you, so why can't I have it my way? 125 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: And I said, I can still see you in your cameos. 126 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 1: I know. 127 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:18,119 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 128 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: It was just weird that someone tried to. 129 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:28,560 Speaker 2: Say, someone tried to stay. Someone was fine, that you 130 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 2: were doing the dust and they were begging you. 131 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 3: Was that visiting ours? There was a knock on the door. Okay, 132 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 3: no more the institution. She's going to go back now. 133 00:06:38,839 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: It's Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a nov podcast walk 134 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,360 Speaker 1: great shows like this. Download the Nova player, Fire, the 135 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 1: app Store, or Google Playing.