1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:05,200 Speaker 1: This podcast was recorded on Wrundery Land Always was, always 2 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey Chicks, I'm sal and I'm 3 00:00:15,560 --> 00:00:17,160 Speaker 1: out And this is Two Broke Chicks, the show that 4 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to help make you rich 5 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:23,880 Speaker 1: in life. And today, oh my gosh, we are joined 6 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: by someone who is an absolute ravelt, Laura hen Jaw, 7 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,080 Speaker 1: the co founder and CEO of Kick with Steph Claire Smith, 8 00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 1: co host of Kickpod and all round Sweet Angel Baby, 9 00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: And today we're going to talk about how to free 10 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: ourselves from the perfection trap and get the confidence to 11 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 1: speak up for ourselves and what is right. 12 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 2: Welcome back, thank you, Oh my goodness, I am putting 13 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 2: Sweet Angel Baby. 14 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:48,600 Speaker 3: That is best. 15 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 1: But before we get into the episode, we love to 16 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,840 Speaker 1: start with our life lesson of the week, So would 17 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 1: you like to kick us off? 18 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,400 Speaker 3: Oh I love this so much. 19 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 2: Okay, my life lesson this week. I think we're going 20 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:02,760 Speaker 2: to go into some more context. Yes, how important it 21 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 2: is to stand up for what you believe in. 22 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think we're definitely going to break that 23 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 4: down a little bit later. But that is a beautiful 24 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 4: life lesson. 25 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,880 Speaker 3: My life lesson of the week. 26 00:01:14,160 --> 00:01:19,600 Speaker 4: It is to literally get away from social media when 27 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:22,840 Speaker 4: it's in a phase of negative energy. It's a lot 28 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 4: more fun to love the people you follow than hate them. 29 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 4: Like I promise you you'll have so much more fun if 30 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 4: you enjoy what's on your phone rather than like rolling 31 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 4: and riling yourself up with real yeah fully yeah, what's 32 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 4: your life lesson? 33 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,840 Speaker 1: My life lesson of the week is to go see Beetlejuice, 34 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: the musical gys because. 35 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 3: Alex and I were invited to go see. 36 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:49,120 Speaker 1: It last night in Melbourne and it is hands down 37 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: the funniest musical I think I have ever seen in 38 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 1: my life. The Australian talent in this musical is actually unmatched. 39 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,560 Speaker 1: It was incredible. And we've been like enough to go 40 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,520 Speaker 1: see shows at on Broadway in New York and also 41 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: the West End in London named Roup. Yeah that's right, 42 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: well traveled, so lucky to have done that, and this 43 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:15,119 Speaker 1: show absolutely stacked up against those and we just laughed 44 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:19,680 Speaker 1: and cried of laughter and like giggled and couldn't stop talking. 45 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: And also Beetlejuice was a bit like here's a bit 46 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 1: like flamboyant. 47 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 3: To see this usually not a musical person, but I'm influenced. 48 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: It is so so funny and clever and the costume, 49 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: set design, the whole thing is a ten out of ten. 50 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 1: So as something positive, Yeah, go see Beetlejuice musical. 51 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:42,240 Speaker 4: And also, can I not like some people potentially with 52 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,359 Speaker 4: the movie of Beetlejuice, Like, there was like this scene 53 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 4: in the original movie if you haven't seen it spoiler alert, 54 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,560 Speaker 4: skip like two minutes where like he tries to marry 55 00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 4: like the daughter right, and people are like, yeah, this 56 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 4: is really creepy. 57 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 3: In the musical, they make fun of that. 58 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's like and he's like, it's not a 59 00:02:57,639 --> 00:02:58,120 Speaker 4: weird thing. 60 00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 3: It's like a green card thing. Like everyone's like ooh, 61 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 3: and it's not like that. 62 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 5: Like, it's like, it's funny. 63 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,840 Speaker 1: It it pokes fun at the original movie. Yeah, which 64 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: is also great and breaks the fourth wall and. 65 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 3: It's so it's so good. Go see the show. 66 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,320 Speaker 1: Before we get into it, I do just want to 67 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 1: say in this episode we will be discussing workouts, fad diets, 68 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:24,639 Speaker 1: and you know, other similar topics. So if this may 69 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 1: be triggering for you, please feel free to give this one. 70 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, be kind to yourself. 71 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:38,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, So, Laura, something that we do absolutely love about 72 00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: you and KICK is that you focus on progress rather 73 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: than perfection. So can you talk us through your experiences 74 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: with that and how you got to where you are now? Oh? 75 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 2: Yes, So with this one, I think I think it's 76 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 2: always a journey, right. I feel like when we're trying 77 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 2: to not especially if you're kind of a recovering perfectionist, 78 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 2: I'm not sure if we ever fully no, you have 79 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,960 Speaker 2: your flavors that has recovered from being a perfection it's 80 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 2: like please, I mean not with everything, but with some 81 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 2: things like please let us know. 82 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 3: We'd love to know your secret, but it takes time. 83 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 2: And I think the thing for me, and also why 84 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 2: this is so instilled kind of within our mission and 85 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 2: everything that we do at KICK, is when you're always 86 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 2: striving for perfection and you're putting that pressure on yourself 87 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,360 Speaker 2: every single. 88 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,840 Speaker 3: Day, it's not kind, right, It's like. 89 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 2: There's so much pressure from society and everything around us anyway, 90 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 2: and so then when we're also being like really mean 91 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,000 Speaker 2: to myself and I mean to ourselves. I think it 92 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 2: also depends on how your perfectionism kind of shows up 93 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 2: for you. 94 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 3: But for me, it's always. 95 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:41,039 Speaker 2: Telling myself I'm not good enough of course you know 96 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 2: you didn't do that to the level that you should have. 97 00:04:43,640 --> 00:04:45,719 Speaker 2: It's because you're not smart enough, you're not good enough, 98 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 2: that kind of And that's the message that I think 99 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 2: sometimes trying to always drive for perfection can drive because 100 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 2: then also what is perfection? Like I'm trying to think 101 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 2: of a piece of work I've actually done where I 102 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,239 Speaker 2: finish it, and I'm like, yes. 103 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 4: I've changed wrangle exactly, and so hard with some things 104 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:07,680 Speaker 4: as well, is because understanding that this will never be 105 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 4: perfect can often put you off even doing anything. 106 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 3: Exactly that exactly. 107 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 2: And I think as well, like when we even think 108 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 2: about our story to start and Kick when we first started, 109 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 2: if I look back at our first product, which was 110 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,279 Speaker 2: an ebook, it was like, there is no way in 111 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 2: the world we would put that out onto the internet 112 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 2: now or anywhere, mind you, Like I would not see 113 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:28,760 Speaker 2: the light of day, like the photos, the typos, like 114 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:30,760 Speaker 2: all of these things, right, But if we had have 115 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 2: waited till we were perfect, we would have never ever 116 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,919 Speaker 2: ever launched it. And I think as well, it plays 117 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 2: interfeares as you kind of said, if you are wanting 118 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,560 Speaker 2: everything to be perfect and that's your only thing that 119 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,160 Speaker 2: you will accept it's very hard to ever want to 120 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 2: do anything outside of your comfort zone that you know 121 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,359 Speaker 2: you can execute it one hundred percent, because how you know, 122 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 2: we don't know that, So that that way, then we're 123 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,719 Speaker 2: just missing out on so many experiences in life. I 124 00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 2: think for me, something that's really helped me. So as 125 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 2: an exact, when I first started doing live TV, it 126 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 2: gave I mean, it's still incredibly nerve wracking depending on 127 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 2: so I'm definitely not not nervous when I go on it. 128 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,839 Speaker 2: But when I first went on it, I remember the 129 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 2: first interview I did, and I reflected on it afterwards, 130 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,279 Speaker 2: and I was like, oh my god, that was the 131 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 2: worst thing. How could I be so she like I 132 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 2: didn't articulate myself, They're never going to have me back 133 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 2: on again, you know, all of that shitty self talk, 134 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 2: like putting myself down. And I remember thinking of I'm like, 135 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 2: I then watched that night the project when Carrie Biekmore 136 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 2: was still on it, and I was like, oh my god, 137 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 2: look at. 138 00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,039 Speaker 3: The way she articulates herself, Like why couldn't I do that? 139 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 3: And I compared myself to someone who has been doing 140 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 3: TV for like thirty years or whatever. It's been and 141 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 3: my expectation was and I had to step back and I. 142 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 2: Was like, wait, how could I expect someone for myself 143 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,359 Speaker 2: on my first day to be as good as someone 144 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,280 Speaker 2: that kind of had done it for thirty years. And 145 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 2: so something that I now try and implement, which is 146 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 2: in Louise Hayes's book You Can Heal Your Life, which 147 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,400 Speaker 2: I really there's some stuff in there. I don't agree 148 00:06:56,440 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 2: with it most of it. The sentiment's really beautiful, and 149 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:00,800 Speaker 2: what she says, she says to it selfies after she 150 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 2: does something, she still reflects. It's important to reflect and 151 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:06,640 Speaker 2: you know, want to better ourselves and grow and kind 152 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 2: of take on feedback. But she says like, well done, Luise, 153 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 2: Like this, that was the first time you've ever done that. 154 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 2: You did amazing. Here's what we can try next time. 155 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 2: And then every single time you just continually remind yourself 156 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 2: like I am on a journey, it's progress, like it's not. 157 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 2: You don't expect that perfection every time and it's crazy 158 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,080 Speaker 2: Like reading that book and that kind of way of 159 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 2: thinking has helped me so much. 160 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 4: Yeah, it can be really difficult to do that for 161 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 4: yourself as well, which is why I like it's really 162 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,440 Speaker 4: important to surround yourself with people who can sometimes say 163 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 4: that to you as well, Like whenever Sal and I like, 164 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 4: sometimes maybe we'll see a bad review or maybe something 165 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 4: won't do as well, and we can very much get 166 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 4: down on ourselves, but having someone else be there to 167 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 4: be like, do you know what this is good? This 168 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 4: is what we can pull from that, or this is 169 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 4: what we can learn. And I remember we interviewed Hannah 170 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 4: Ferguson with her new book Taboo Right, and she was saying, 171 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 4: I hope in ten years I don't agree with everything 172 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 4: that's in this book, which I think is such a 173 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,640 Speaker 4: nice way to look at it. Sow and I often 174 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 4: make fun of ourselves for being like continuously inconsistent, like 175 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 4: we're a walking contradiction. And I actually like that about 176 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 4: myself because it means that I never think I know everything, 177 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 4: Because if you get to a point that you're like done, 178 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 4: you are not the smartest person in the room. The 179 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 4: smartest person in the room is looking to learn from 180 00:08:26,120 --> 00:08:27,239 Speaker 4: the people around them. 181 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:28,720 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, You're. 182 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 1: Allowed to change your mind on things, and on that 183 00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: I would love to know, what do you think the 184 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:37,960 Speaker 1: wellness industry is just completely missing the mark on especially 185 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 1: for women. 186 00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 2: Oh okay, well, I mean first the biggest thing, and 187 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:48,320 Speaker 2: it's kind of wellness, but health more specifically. So almost 188 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 2: all of the research that has been done medical or 189 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 2: medical research that has been done is on men and 190 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,880 Speaker 2: not on women. And so that's why, for example, endometriosists 191 00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 2: has been it's like people that have it sometimes I 192 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 2: think the average time it takes to get diagnosed is 193 00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:04,840 Speaker 2: it's over five years, like for some people it's ten years. Right, 194 00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 2: There's so many different things that they haven't studied for women, 195 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 2: and even things like ice baths and breath works, So 196 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 2: there's specific when you go on an ice bath and 197 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 2: with some breadthwork where you're kind of like going really 198 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 2: really fast. There's been new studies to come out that 199 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,160 Speaker 2: that's actually not as effective for women. But I think 200 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 2: when we talk about these studies and they say, like, 201 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,600 Speaker 2: you know, breath breathwork is amazing, I love it, but 202 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,760 Speaker 2: I think it's important to find a way that works 203 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,559 Speaker 2: for you. But when they talk about the research, says, 204 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,280 Speaker 2: often the research is with a group of men, and 205 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 2: so that impacts obviously a lot. So I think it's 206 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,280 Speaker 2: not tailored for us. I think that's the first thing. 207 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,400 Speaker 2: And then I think the other thing is it is 208 00:09:43,559 --> 00:09:48,360 Speaker 2: so so so centered around the way that we look 209 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,319 Speaker 2: and it's something that we I mean, it's why we 210 00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 2: started kicking. 211 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 3: We do what we do within the app. 212 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 2: But it's really scary because I think even though we're 213 00:09:57,200 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 2: in now twenty and twenty five, when we were kind 214 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,680 Speaker 2: of gone onto social media, it was that Kate Moss 215 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,360 Speaker 2: like nothing feels as good as skinny feels era, which 216 00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:09,240 Speaker 2: is so fucked yes, Tumbler exactly. And what's really really 217 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:13,160 Speaker 2: scary is with the way that our women's bodies in 218 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,680 Speaker 2: particular trend and the size of body in the shape 219 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 2: and body trend, which is crazy because it should never 220 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:20,559 Speaker 2: ever ever be a trend, right if we're trying to 221 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 2: change our body and not move our body in and 222 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,319 Speaker 2: eat well for the way that we. 223 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 3: Feel like, that's what it's about. That's how we get 224 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:26,680 Speaker 3: our power back. 225 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 2: But what it is all a lot focused around is 226 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:31,680 Speaker 2: is the way that we look at it is it's 227 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,160 Speaker 2: really scary that even though we've come so far, like 228 00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 2: we take ten steps forward and then we sometimes take 229 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 2: twelve steps back. 230 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: What is your advice to stay healthy or be healthy 231 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,079 Speaker 1: without falling into the perfection trap. 232 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:45,600 Speaker 2: Oh. 233 00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 3: I mean, first of all, it's really hard. 234 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:49,839 Speaker 2: I think it's so important to acknowledge, like especially as 235 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 2: women that are very kind of growing up around this time, 236 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 2: or especially like with TikTok now with the rise of 237 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,560 Speaker 2: pro eating disorder content that's getting through the algorithm. 238 00:10:59,120 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 3: Like it's so scary. 239 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 2: So I think it's important to acknowledge that everything around 240 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,199 Speaker 2: us tells us that we should focus on the way 241 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 2: that we look. And for a lot of people, it 242 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 2: is really hard. And even even for me with my journey, 243 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 2: like it took me years and years and years to 244 00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:16,959 Speaker 2: navigate that change in mindset, and you know, not running 245 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:19,880 Speaker 2: so I could burn calories and do faceted cardio and all. 246 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,359 Speaker 3: Those things, but running and fueling. 247 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,559 Speaker 2: My body because I want to feel strong and I 248 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 2: want to feel good in my run, and so it 249 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:25,719 Speaker 2: takes time. 250 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,960 Speaker 3: I think that's the first thing to acknowledge, And it's really. 251 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 2: Hard, but it is so worth it if you the 252 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 2: thing that it always comes back to is how do 253 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 2: you want to feel? And if you focus always on 254 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 2: how do you want to feel today, you will move 255 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 2: your body in a way that works for you, not 256 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 2: because of some person on TikTok with no experience has 257 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,679 Speaker 2: said that if you do this ab workout that is 258 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,320 Speaker 2: probably with like completely wrong technique. But anyway, you do 259 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 2: this ab workout every day, you're going to get like 260 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,200 Speaker 2: lower ABS, which is of course like that's what they're 261 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,679 Speaker 2: going to write because it's clete genetic great, Yeah, sh 262 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,080 Speaker 2: it's genetically exactly right. There is no like every single 263 00:11:59,120 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 2: p day, every single experience personal talion And I'm not 264 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,840 Speaker 2: a pet. Actually I AMPT, but I don't practice as 265 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 2: a pet. But you can't target one, yeah abs. You 266 00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:14,120 Speaker 2: can't build apps, and I'm like, but algorithm like favors 267 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 2: that content like oh my god, I want to know 268 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 2: I say it, et cetera. So I think what's really 269 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 2: important is don't feel like you need to go into 270 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 2: those trends now. For example, running is trending right now 271 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,560 Speaker 2: that if you love running, run amazing. 272 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 3: That's a great trend. But if you don't like running, 273 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,720 Speaker 3: don't run, yeahs or do whatever you like to meet 274 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,840 Speaker 3: your body. And that's what's really really important. 275 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,440 Speaker 2: So and if you wake up every day and you 276 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 2: ask yourself, how do I want to feel today, you 277 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,960 Speaker 2: will see yourself making changes. So you feel good, like 278 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,840 Speaker 2: moving your body, eating while resting, all of those things 279 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 2: like looking after our minds that are really important. But 280 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,360 Speaker 2: it comes back to how how do I want to feel? 281 00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:53,720 Speaker 4: I really really love your content because it's really focused 282 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 4: on exactly what you were saying before and about feeling good, 283 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 4: like mentally and physically. That I would love to know, 284 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 4: because obviously it's not a one size fits all, but 285 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,960 Speaker 4: I would love to know what your non negotiables are 286 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,040 Speaker 4: for feeling good. 287 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,320 Speaker 3: Oh good question, and thank you, that's so kind. Okay, 288 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 3: my non negotiables for feeling good. Moving my body. 289 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:15,320 Speaker 2: I move my body most days, actually some days I 290 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 2: will rest, but on a rest. I don't move my 291 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,679 Speaker 2: body in a strenuous way every day. 292 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 3: Absolutely not. That's what I used to do. I think, 293 00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 3: like back back again, when we're talking about the Kate. 294 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 4: Era er strenuous, is that like the really hard work. 295 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 2: Yes, that would be going for a run, it would 296 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 2: be doing a hit workout, like a really intense pilarates workout. 297 00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 2: And then when we think of exercise, it's less strenuous 298 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 2: and lower impacted like walking, maybe like low impact pilates yoga. Yeah, 299 00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 2: exactly right, even strength training, strength training is really good 300 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 2: because it doesn't you're not your heart rates on up 301 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,520 Speaker 2: the endi time, right. So I used to think and 302 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,920 Speaker 2: back in the day, like I did double workouts, it 303 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 2: was like what we're seeing online. I probably will do 304 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 2: a strenuous type of exercise like three times a week max. 305 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,600 Speaker 2: And the other days might walk, yeah, water pilates or something 306 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 2: like that from home. And then when it comes to 307 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 2: the way that I eat now, it is obviously when 308 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 2: if you eat fast food every single day for thirty days, 309 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,080 Speaker 2: like you're going to feel very tired, right because very 310 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 2: low nutrients, it's not going to give you energy. However, 311 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 2: it is okay, and we need to have balance in 312 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 2: our diet. So for me, eating to feel good is 313 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,880 Speaker 2: you know, whaking up, having a nutritious breakfast breakfast, and 314 00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 2: then at you know, at kick at morning tea we 315 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,640 Speaker 2: might all share donuts or something like that, whatever that 316 00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 2: might be, and it's having that because that's what I 317 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 2: feel like in the moment and it brings me joy, 318 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 2: and so that's what feeling good is about. 319 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 3: But of course if. 320 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 2: I eat, yeah, if we eat like really poor food 321 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:41,800 Speaker 2: or low nutritious food all the time, we're not going 322 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 2: to feel good, right, So just about finding that balance 323 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 2: because I think and I used to do this, when 324 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 2: you deprive yourself and you use the mindset of I 325 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:52,320 Speaker 2: can't have that, it will be on your mind twenty 326 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,160 Speaker 2: four seven and you're living in this jail in your head. 327 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,800 Speaker 2: And we all like for people that have been through 328 00:14:56,800 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 2: disordered eating or struggle with body image and food noise. 329 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 2: It takes up your entire mental load for the entire 330 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:04,960 Speaker 2: day because. 331 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 3: You are hungry. 332 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 2: Your body's telling you I need food, I need food, 333 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 2: and all you can think about other things that you've 334 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 2: told yourself you can't have. So instead of saying something 335 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 2: like and this is something that our dietitian Live Morrison, 336 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 2: she's amazing at Kick speaks about. She says, instead of 337 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 2: saying just say you might want to cook more at home, 338 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 2: meant and eat less takeaway. Instead of saying I'm not 339 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 2: going to eat takeaway, say I'm going to cook two 340 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,440 Speaker 2: nights a week. Because then it's not focused on deprivation. 341 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:32,280 Speaker 2: It's focused on what you're going to do more. And 342 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 2: I think that helps a lot. And then in terms 343 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 2: of my mental health and just your my mind running 344 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,800 Speaker 2: an exercise, it does help a lot I feel like 345 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,160 Speaker 2: anyone that has that. I find running is my form 346 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 2: of meditation. Yoga also does that for me. I love 347 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 2: it so much. So it's kind of finding what else 348 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,840 Speaker 2: you can do outside of work that can fill your cup. 349 00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 3: So socializing is really really. 350 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 2: Important, but I think it's important also to acknowledge sometimes 351 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,320 Speaker 2: going to an event with like twenty people and you 352 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 2: have to make all this small talk like that might 353 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 2: not fill your cup. So you might need to be like, Okay, 354 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,920 Speaker 2: what am I going to do after that to refill 355 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 2: the cat? 356 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 3: Like is it a work walk with a girlfriend? 357 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 1: Is it? 358 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 3: I don't know. 359 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 2: Finding in your hobby like pottery, something away from work, 360 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,200 Speaker 2: that's what's really important. I don't obviously don't always get 361 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 2: it right, but I try and fill those cups. 362 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,760 Speaker 4: I find it's easy to find the thing that feels 363 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 4: your cup when it's a thing that makes you feel 364 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 4: like yourself. Yes, like yes, I whenever I'm like engrossed 365 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 4: in a book, that's when I really I'm like, I 366 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 4: feel like myself and it like clears the fog in 367 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 4: my brain, like when you're overthinking. If I just do 368 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 4: the thing that makes me feel like myself, I'm like 369 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 4: I cam back, yes. 370 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 1: And how do you deal with any guilt that you 371 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 1: feel when you do set boundaries or say no to something, 372 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: or maybe you don't necessarily live up to an expectation 373 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 1: that you had for yourself or somebody had for you. 374 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:46,000 Speaker 3: So social guilt. 375 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 2: M oh, this is something as a recovering paper plaser. 376 00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 3: So funny that term recovering paper places. Anyway, I'm like, am, 377 00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 3: I don't know what I am. I'm still definitely a 378 00:16:56,880 --> 00:17:03,480 Speaker 3: paper place exactly. It's like perfection exactly. I find it 379 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:04,120 Speaker 3: really hard. 380 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 2: But I think what I have realized is that I 381 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,880 Speaker 2: think I was thinking, Okay, why do I feel Why do. 382 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:10,520 Speaker 3: I feel this guilt? 383 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 4: Like? 384 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:11,960 Speaker 3: Why do I feel so guilty. 385 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,720 Speaker 2: If I tell my friend I can't come to dinner 386 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,159 Speaker 2: because you know, I'm exhausted or you know, whatever it 387 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,879 Speaker 2: might be. What I've then realized is if I go 388 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,720 Speaker 2: to dinner or if we go anywhere, just say you're 389 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 2: about to an event or whatever it might be. You 390 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 2: have something on after work, you are exhausted, you feel 391 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 2: like a shell of yourself. You know you need to 392 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:29,159 Speaker 2: go home and recharge. If you go to that dinner 393 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,200 Speaker 2: in that headspace, you're not going to be very good 394 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,919 Speaker 2: company for you're friends, right, Like I don't think, And 395 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:37,280 Speaker 2: so I've really reframed like if I I will go 396 00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,320 Speaker 2: if I can. And obviously it's different like if it's 397 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 2: your friend's engagement, like we need to show up, we 398 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:47,240 Speaker 2: rally a rally, and exactly you're like, let's go back 399 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:47,719 Speaker 2: to do this. 400 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 3: So I yeah, my with people most mostly like all 401 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:51,160 Speaker 3: of my. 402 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:54,080 Speaker 2: Friends, if I'm feeling down or just not up to it, 403 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 2: I can tell them and be honest. I don't have 404 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 2: to say I'm sick or whatever it might be. I 405 00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 2: can message them and they will understand, like I think 406 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:02,480 Speaker 2: it's important. Also, like if your friend messaged and said, hey, 407 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,639 Speaker 2: had a really hard day, I just don't think I 408 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 2: can come tonight. 409 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,440 Speaker 3: I'm really sorry, can we reschedule? You're gonna be like, of. 410 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:10,360 Speaker 2: Course, thank you for being honest. Also like I hope 411 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 2: you're okay. You're not gonna be like fuck you, like 412 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 2: why aren't you coming tonight? 413 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:14,360 Speaker 3: You know what I mean. 414 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:15,919 Speaker 2: And the other thing I think as well to know 415 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,359 Speaker 2: and is I think it's something that we do as 416 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 2: women a lot more. But I used to think and 417 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 2: it was actually a Steph that taught me She's like, Laura, 418 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,239 Speaker 2: why are you doing this? She I used to if 419 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,959 Speaker 2: I couldn't go somewhere like to an event or a 420 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,159 Speaker 2: work thing, not not with a friend, with a you know, 421 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,879 Speaker 2: someone that acquaintance or whatever, that I felt like I 422 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 2: should go, or if I don't go, I have to 423 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 2: give like the exact reason why I can't go. She 424 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:40,160 Speaker 2: was like, Laura, why are you explaining this? I'm like, oh, 425 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 2: I just I just don't want them to feel like 426 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:42,960 Speaker 2: you know, I don't. I don't want I feel guilty. 427 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 2: So I don't want them to feel like I'm letting 428 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 2: them down or I'm just not going for no reason. 429 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,680 Speaker 3: Like I want them to know it's a valid reason. 430 00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 2: And she's like, you do not need to give a reason, 431 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,160 Speaker 2: right if it's with your best friend, give a reason 432 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,480 Speaker 2: if you feel comfortable. But if it's not, I feel 433 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,360 Speaker 2: like we feel like we have to apologize and make 434 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,280 Speaker 2: it justify the time. You can just say like, hey, 435 00:19:00,359 --> 00:19:02,639 Speaker 2: I'm so sorry I can't attend, Thanks for inviting me. 436 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 3: That's enough. 437 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:08,280 Speaker 4: I think this all falls into this like perfectionism that 438 00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 4: women feel like they need to have. And one thing 439 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 4: that we truly admire about you is your confidence to 440 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:20,640 Speaker 4: speak out against damaging narratives against women, and most recently, 441 00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,480 Speaker 4: you called out a male podcaster. We're not going to 442 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 4: say his name because I'm going to give him a 443 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 4: time love for a dangerous narrative about financial abuse in 444 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:32,520 Speaker 4: predominantly heterosexual relationships. Why is this such an important conversation 445 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 4: for us to be having. 446 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,639 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think it's one of the things that 447 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 2: things that with social media in particular, I can't if 448 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 2: I feel passionate about something like, I don't have the 449 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 2: ability to not put it up like it just it doesn't. 450 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,920 Speaker 2: I can't. I don't know any other way. I think 451 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:48,920 Speaker 2: it's important that when we have a platform, and I'm 452 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 2: so grateful that I have the platform that I have, 453 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 2: comes obviously with the responsibility, but also you know that 454 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 2: if you have influence on people, you can make an impact, right, 455 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,640 Speaker 2: And that's what's important, is that we're making a positive impact. 456 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,959 Speaker 2: Like I'm true believer in not everyone's going to use 457 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:03,440 Speaker 2: their page to good and they don't have to write 458 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 2: we don't know. 459 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:04,800 Speaker 3: People don't have to. 460 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 2: Do good with their social media, but you have to 461 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:10,680 Speaker 2: do no harm. I think that is the obligation that 462 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,199 Speaker 2: comes with it, right, or self imposed obligation, but I do. 463 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 3: That's what I strongly believe in. 464 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,000 Speaker 2: And so the other week it was actually Steph Since 465 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 2: sent me a video, the video that I that I 466 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,240 Speaker 2: spoke about, and it was incredibly misogynistic. It was also 467 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,359 Speaker 2: with two really young guys, like Since seeing it and 468 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 2: doing research. One of them, the person who hosts the 469 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,760 Speaker 2: podcast and put the content live, is actually twenty two 470 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 2: years old, which is obviously really young, Like, you haven't 471 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 2: had that much lived. 472 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 4: Oh, twenty two, I knew nothing? 473 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,679 Speaker 2: But did you think you knew everything I did? When 474 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,119 Speaker 2: I was in my early twenties, I was like, I 475 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 2: know everything. And then I got to like twenty eight, and. 476 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:44,919 Speaker 3: I was like, well, I. 477 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,000 Speaker 4: Though, don't you think like I think, it's a security 478 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,919 Speaker 4: thing because you know nothing, you try to overcompensate with 479 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,120 Speaker 4: believing you know everything because it's fear. 480 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 3: You're scared one hundred percent. 481 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 2: And so with this piece of content, as I said, 482 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,440 Speaker 2: it was incredibly misogynistic. It hadn't come from my algorithm 483 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 2: because obviously that is not the content that Yeah, but 484 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 2: what's really really scary is that this content is a 485 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 2: theme of content, like it's Andrew Taate esque and I 486 00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 2: think obviously Andrew Tate has been canceled, but it's now 487 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,480 Speaker 2: this rise in this type of content, like this piece 488 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,360 Speaker 2: where this boy and I can use the word boy 489 00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 2: because in the podcast he referred to women as girls. 490 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 3: So this twenty two year. 491 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,600 Speaker 2: Old person he spoke about the fact that if his 492 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:30,359 Speaker 2: wife or his partner doesn't want to work, he doesn't 493 00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:33,240 Speaker 2: want her to work, something like that, and then he 494 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,520 Speaker 2: went on it was conditional and the reason that he 495 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 2: didn't want her to work is because when he gets home, 496 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 2: he doesn't want her to be complaining. So basically and 497 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:44,919 Speaker 2: when you think about it, like you need to be 498 00:21:44,920 --> 00:21:47,119 Speaker 2: able to go home, and also that then completely, there 499 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,119 Speaker 2: were so many women I spoke to mothers that are like, 500 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:50,680 Speaker 2: being a stay at home parent is. 501 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,720 Speaker 3: The fucking hardest job in the entire world. 502 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,760 Speaker 2: I cannot imagine having to not have my partner, who 503 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:59,159 Speaker 2: the children are both of ours, right, they're both of 504 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 2: our children, to talk to him about that. 505 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 3: That's in an sexual relationship. 506 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 2: So there was that, and then he said went on 507 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,800 Speaker 2: to say that the reason for that is because if 508 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,800 Speaker 2: he's had a hard day of work or something like that, 509 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:12,399 Speaker 2: he has to come here exactly. But with a peace 510 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 2: and tranquil and the words they use within the whole 511 00:22:14,960 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 2: podcast about women was we need to be pure and innocent, 512 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 2: and we have to be in our feminine and the 513 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,239 Speaker 2: only way to be in our feminine is to have 514 00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,719 Speaker 2: a man provide for us, because if we have to 515 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,960 Speaker 2: go out on our own, then we can't be in 516 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:28,840 Speaker 2: our feminine. Then we can't be a good woman, then 517 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,919 Speaker 2: we can't attract a high value man. So obviously this 518 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:35,399 Speaker 2: is all incredibly fucking toxic and for me, like, my 519 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 2: parents separated when I was around twelve, and I saw 520 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,320 Speaker 2: firsthand what happens, Like my mum had been out of 521 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 2: the workforce for a long time. 522 00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,040 Speaker 3: She raised the three of us. 523 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,040 Speaker 2: She was working part time and all of a sudden 524 00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,719 Speaker 2: she was obviously my dad's supported as well, but they 525 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:51,200 Speaker 2: were both single parents, right, and she needed to work 526 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:52,760 Speaker 2: out how am I going to go and get. 527 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:53,400 Speaker 3: A full time job. 528 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,879 Speaker 2: She didn't have super from the time that she'd taken 529 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,440 Speaker 2: off raising us, right, And that's now as she goes 530 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,399 Speaker 2: into retirement, something that she thinking about like I was, 531 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:05,320 Speaker 2: I saw that, and I saw the huge level of stress, 532 00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 2: Like financial stress, I feel like is one of the 533 00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 2: things that can take the biggest toll in you. Like, 534 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,520 Speaker 2: obviously all stress is bad, but financial stress is really 535 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,360 Speaker 2: really heavy. And obviously in that instance, like my mum 536 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 2: was able to support us and that was that was great, 537 00:23:18,119 --> 00:23:20,480 Speaker 2: But that's not the case for everyone. And I think 538 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:24,560 Speaker 2: to send a message out that you only should work 539 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,119 Speaker 2: if you want to. What happens if you break up? Like, 540 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 2: what happens if your partner dies, What happens if they 541 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 2: have an accident and they can't work anymore? What if 542 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,239 Speaker 2: they have a really bad mental health period where they 543 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 2: can't work anymore? 544 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 3: What happens if you're in an abusive relationship? 545 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:41,879 Speaker 2: If you have zero ability to make money, how you 546 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:42,360 Speaker 2: can't leave? 547 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:42,600 Speaker 1: Right? 548 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:44,919 Speaker 2: You're in a really And I think this kind of 549 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,760 Speaker 2: and what this person speaks about all the time is 550 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 2: how much he wants to lean back into traditional gender 551 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 2: roles within relationships and. 552 00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 3: Not the fucking troad. 553 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:59,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, that's what's really He packages it up as 554 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,120 Speaker 2: loving and caring, and that's what's fucking scary, because that's 555 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,040 Speaker 2: what's saying Andrew. 556 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,600 Speaker 3: Tate is fucked. But then they see this content and it's. 557 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:11,399 Speaker 2: Like motivations and exactly the scary thing is he doubled 558 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:12,199 Speaker 2: down and that's the thing. 559 00:24:12,240 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 3: He lives. 560 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 2: This content exists in an echo chamber, and that's what 561 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 2: That's why I wanted to talk about it because I 562 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 2: think education is so, so, so important number one, so 563 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,720 Speaker 2: we can spot this content for anyone that because for 564 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,880 Speaker 2: a lot of people they was it was actually really great. 565 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:25,800 Speaker 2: I had messages on the first day being like, whoa, 566 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,199 Speaker 2: I think Chris actually has a really reasonable point, like 567 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 2: he's being really caring. And then two days later they 568 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,919 Speaker 2: messaged and said, hey, have step back and reflected, and 569 00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:33,320 Speaker 2: I can. 570 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:35,679 Speaker 3: See how toxic this is. Thank you for talking about it. 571 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:36,960 Speaker 3: And that's why we. 572 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,320 Speaker 2: Have these conversations because if this person will or will 573 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,639 Speaker 2: not take hopefully by the time this comes out, like 574 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 2: maybe he will have been at a step back and reflect. 575 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,399 Speaker 2: But his response was incredibly disappointing because he spoke about 576 00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,880 Speaker 2: he wrote some cryptic posts and he wrote in it. 577 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,760 Speaker 3: That he's driving and not looking in the review, mat 578 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:54,399 Speaker 3: oh my god. 579 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 4: I'm not using indicators because he's gone too fast, and 580 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:56,920 Speaker 4: I was like. 581 00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 5: Actually, indicators safely exactly, Like what a dangerous analogy to use, right, 582 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,359 Speaker 5: So I think when you can't take anyone else's perspective, 583 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:09,080 Speaker 5: and you are influencing, Like he's over three hundred thousand followers, Yeah, 584 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,160 Speaker 5: most likely a lot of them. 585 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 2: I highly doubt many women follow him, young men following him, right, 586 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,399 Speaker 2: and he's putting this belief system into them that is 587 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 2: so dangerous. Like in Australia, the group of homeless people 588 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 2: that's growing the fastest as women then fifty five. The 589 00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 2: super gap is huge, right, domestic violence, Like we are 590 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 2: literally in an epidemic for domestic violence, like violence against 591 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 2: women in Australia, all of these things, And I think 592 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,280 Speaker 2: what's really difficult is when the people making this content 593 00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:36,159 Speaker 2: can't see that. 594 00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 3: Actually I know I'm not saying that, but that's what 595 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:43,360 Speaker 3: this lead is to. Yeah, like it stems I think for. 596 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,399 Speaker 2: Me, like as I said before, I actually it's like 597 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,680 Speaker 2: it takes over my body and I'm like, I don't think. 598 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,480 Speaker 2: And it's been like over the time when this podcast 599 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 2: thing blew up, like a lot of people have been 600 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,440 Speaker 2: messed to me saying like you're okay, like you must 601 00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,639 Speaker 2: be tired. I'm like, nah, I feel live, like this 602 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 2: is this is and it's not a live in terms 603 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,400 Speaker 2: of like in no way bringing someone down but it's 604 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,520 Speaker 2: bringing something up that matters and create and empowering and 605 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,919 Speaker 2: starting a conversation. Like the amount of media that's come 606 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,080 Speaker 2: out of this that has been focused on financial abuse 607 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,840 Speaker 2: and educating people like that that's impact. 608 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,679 Speaker 3: Like that's making change. 609 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,440 Speaker 2: And so I think for me, like, even for example, 610 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:20,320 Speaker 2: within this specific week, people had asked us to do 611 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:22,760 Speaker 2: a deep dive podcast episode on it. And I am 612 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,520 Speaker 2: in no way an expert on misogyny, right. I know 613 00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,639 Speaker 2: I listened to a lot of content on it, but 614 00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 2: I haven't been to university and studying it, studied it. 615 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 2: I haven't read research papers. I have probably only learned 616 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 2: so much about the term in the past three years. Right, 617 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,880 Speaker 2: So in no way am I an expert in this content. 618 00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,640 Speaker 2: And so I did think for I was like, can 619 00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 2: I do this? Because if I do this episode and 620 00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,920 Speaker 2: I don't do justice like to all of these amazing 621 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,280 Speaker 2: women that I have the I have the platform and 622 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,879 Speaker 2: am so grateful for that that I can do it. 623 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 2: But I think I say to myself, like, what if 624 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,480 Speaker 2: I just have to put up with that tiny little 625 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,440 Speaker 2: bit of shit, which I think in embracing the fact 626 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,159 Speaker 2: that I know I'm not going to be perfect I 627 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,479 Speaker 2: own that I say that, then it's so worth it 628 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,480 Speaker 2: for like the ninety nine percent and if we're gonna 629 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 2: come for people, and I also if people come for 630 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:11,679 Speaker 2: me now in you know what, any time, if we're 631 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,840 Speaker 2: speaking out against out against something, I just think it's 632 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 2: like it says so much about them, like instead of 633 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:18,960 Speaker 2: coming and attacking me, Like. 634 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,160 Speaker 3: Why don't you try and move things forward? Right? 635 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,600 Speaker 2: And so I think with that saff actually it's water 636 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,920 Speaker 2: off a ducks back now, which it has not always 637 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:27,960 Speaker 2: been that way. It's taken like years and years to 638 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,920 Speaker 2: get there. But now I'm just like, wow, this is 639 00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 2: a really sad thing to do with your time. 640 00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:32,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, And you. 641 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 4: Know what, it kind of comes back to what you 642 00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:38,000 Speaker 4: said at the start of the episode of you aren't 643 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:40,760 Speaker 4: going to get a perfect no yeah and being okay, 644 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 4: Like I think that fear of talking about heard things 645 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 4: like politics, misogyny, cost of living, all these things that 646 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 4: are really really big topics and heavy topics that we 647 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 4: get scared to go into the topic because maybe we 648 00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:55,199 Speaker 4: don't have a statistic to pull up, or maybe we 649 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 4: don't have a degree in it, and we think I 650 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,439 Speaker 4: don't know everything, so I'm not a lie to be 651 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,040 Speaker 4: in the conversation, which is not true, and going into 652 00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 4: the conversation knowing that you're not going to get it 653 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,159 Speaker 4: right also means that you're probably going to learn something, 654 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:14,000 Speaker 4: which is okay. I think what the fear comes from 655 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 4: people waiting, people like, no, that's wrong, and this is 656 00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:20,639 Speaker 4: why you don't know anything because you've got discredit. Y, yes, 657 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:24,280 Speaker 4: exactly right, exactly. So do you have any tips for 658 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,440 Speaker 4: women who want to speak and want to be more 659 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,920 Speaker 4: confident about these things that they're very passionate about and 660 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,720 Speaker 4: make them feel powerful, but they do have this fear 661 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:33,640 Speaker 4: of getting it wrong. 662 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,200 Speaker 2: So I think what I would think about with this example, 663 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:41,000 Speaker 2: and this is something that a VC actually gave me 664 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,520 Speaker 2: advice on, which is when you go and raise money, 665 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 2: there's certain types of this place. There's different places you 666 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,560 Speaker 2: can get money in. Venture capitalis one way. And he 667 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 2: was a male VC and he said to me, you 668 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:54,720 Speaker 2: need to present this like you are a twenty five 669 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 2: year old guy, because he doesn't feel like he needs 670 00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,400 Speaker 2: to have one And that's obviously a very big generalation, 671 00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,600 Speaker 2: but the reasons were he doesn't feel like he has 672 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,440 Speaker 2: to have one thousand reasons for everything, and a thousand 673 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 2: starts to back it up. He believes in himself and 674 00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,200 Speaker 2: he is going to sell this shit out of it, right, 675 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 2: And I think from that moment and sometimes I think, like, OK, 676 00:29:12,560 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 2: to step into this energy right there, energy that I 677 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 2: don't feel like I have to justify everything. But I 678 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,880 Speaker 2: think as women it's something unfortunately and not everything is gender, 679 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:22,520 Speaker 2: but I do think with this, we do feel like 680 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,240 Speaker 2: we have to have more and we know we see 681 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,680 Speaker 2: it with jobs in the start around is crazy that 682 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 2: if a woman, a woman only applies for a job 683 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 2: if she can do nine out of the ten criteria, 684 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,240 Speaker 2: but for a guy it's three to four. 685 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 3: Or something like that. 686 00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:36,640 Speaker 2: Now that it's amazing that a guy can put themselves 687 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 2: out there, right, but it's like, how do we get 688 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:41,000 Speaker 2: women to also feel like they can? And so I 689 00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 2: think that's something I always come back to that lesson 690 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,600 Speaker 2: and I think you can apply in this situation, right, 691 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,800 Speaker 2: And then it comes back to as well, if you 692 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:51,760 Speaker 2: get a tiny bit wrong, that's it depends too. Like 693 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 2: for example, if someone's spreading this information like y, that's 694 00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 2: that's all right, But if you're speaking out about something 695 00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 2: that's really important to you and you nail things and 696 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 2: maybe one is wrong. The nine things will have way 697 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,720 Speaker 2: more impact. And I think it says so much about 698 00:30:06,720 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 2: often the people that are coming at you like it's 699 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:12,719 Speaker 2: always a projection, right, and when it's petty, and I 700 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:15,400 Speaker 2: think it's projecting that they might wish that they could 701 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 2: stand out and speak about it, but they don't feel 702 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,800 Speaker 2: like they can, so they're projecting that onto you. 703 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 3: So I think, yeah, if. 704 00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 2: You you know, if you want to speak out about 705 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 2: things like do it, absolutely do it, and you just 706 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 2: we can't expect ourselves to be perfect. And I do 707 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 2: think that's something that social media has actually given us 708 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:33,959 Speaker 2: a lot more grace on than it used to, because 709 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,560 Speaker 2: I mean, as you were taking we were kind of 710 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,760 Speaker 2: talking about before it was probably I would say five 711 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 2: years ago. That's something you how we can change our 712 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:43,200 Speaker 2: mind something that you did seven years ago, Like if 713 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 2: someone dug up something you said on Facebook seven years ago. 714 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 2: And we only know what we know, right, We always 715 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:49,400 Speaker 2: want to do the best that we only know what 716 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 2: we know when we do, and then when we learn more, 717 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 2: we need to do better. But people were bringing up 718 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,640 Speaker 2: like stuff that someone posted ten years ago, whatever it 719 00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,080 Speaker 2: might be, and then holding them to account to that now, 720 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 2: and I think sometimes when something is very racist, or 721 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 2: you know, there's things, we have to be responsible and 722 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,040 Speaker 2: accountable to our behavior. 723 00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 3: But I do think there was a period where the 724 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:07,760 Speaker 3: fear for so. 725 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,040 Speaker 2: Many of my friends that run businesses or have podcasts 726 00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 2: or whatever it might be, was so high that fuck, like, 727 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 2: what if fifteen years ago I said the wrong thing 728 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 2: and I can't remember and I'm going to be canceled. 729 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:21,239 Speaker 3: And I think we've moved away from that a little bit. 730 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 2: I still think that it's probably more prevalent for women 731 00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 2: than men, but I think we have moved away from that. 732 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,480 Speaker 4: So to kind of wrap this all up, how can 733 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:34,960 Speaker 4: you let go of perfectionism and prioritize positivity? 734 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,560 Speaker 3: And like we've said, a journey a journey, it is 735 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 3: one hundred percent, and I always get this right. 736 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,240 Speaker 2: I think the biggest thing would be you have to 737 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,000 Speaker 2: because when we try and do those types of mindset 738 00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 2: transitions and we haven't dealt with the barriers, we can't 739 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 2: move forward like I feel like we might be really 740 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,280 Speaker 2: to say we're going to change the way we speak. 741 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,240 Speaker 2: So instead of saying I have to go to this today, 742 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 2: I get to right. That's an example it's really nice 743 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,400 Speaker 2: to do that, but if you haven't broken down the 744 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 2: barriers of why you are in that original mindset, after 745 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,120 Speaker 2: one week you'll be like, fuck this, I don't hate 746 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,320 Speaker 2: this anymore, I'm not, et cetera. So what's really really 747 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,960 Speaker 2: important is to sit down and this is what I've done, 748 00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 2: and write out like, why doesn't perfectionism serve you? 749 00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:19,240 Speaker 3: What is perfectionism holding you back from? 750 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:19,400 Speaker 1: So? 751 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 2: Is it starting a podcast, is it starting a business? 752 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,720 Speaker 2: Is it speaking up at work, like asking a question 753 00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:26,360 Speaker 2: in front of people, because so often, like I was 754 00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:29,000 Speaker 2: in a room the other day and it was there 755 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:30,920 Speaker 2: was an equal amount of men and women in the room, 756 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 2: and when it came to the end and there were 757 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 2: questions for the guests, only the men ask questions. I 758 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 2: think it's because I was like, I shouldn't have psychoanalyzed it, 759 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:42,880 Speaker 2: but I was like, I do think it's because as 760 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,440 Speaker 2: women with as we've spoke about with thinking, my question 761 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 2: has to be perfect or I can't. 762 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,880 Speaker 4: I truly do that all the times exact like whenever 763 00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,680 Speaker 4: you're at a talk or a conference and I do 764 00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,640 Speaker 4: have a question, but I get shot. 765 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,840 Speaker 2: I don't want people to think I'm stupid. To think 766 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 2: it's a silly question again, even. 767 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,920 Speaker 3: To think that you're like a pick me, I'll go. 768 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 4: I'll ask them in private, like I don't want to 769 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:03,920 Speaker 4: ask in front of everyone. 770 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:05,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, you're afraid of judgment, right, but why are we 771 00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:06,720 Speaker 2: afraid of that judgment? 772 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 3: Also? Then, so by not asking a question. 773 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,760 Speaker 2: Not speaking up about your ideas at work, how is 774 00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,920 Speaker 2: that stopping you from moving forward in your life? It 775 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 2: could mean that you're actually your boss might think that 776 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,800 Speaker 2: you don't have ideas, therefore you can't move into the 777 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:20,760 Speaker 2: next or whatever it might be in your role, the 778 00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 2: next level of your role. When actually you have all 779 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,680 Speaker 2: these ideas, you just need to be able to voice them, 780 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,640 Speaker 2: write and feel comfortable and feel comfortable and feel in 781 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:29,800 Speaker 2: your power. So it's writing out what is perfectionism like 782 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,720 Speaker 2: taking from me? When you see that list, you will 783 00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 2: be like, why am I doing this to myself? Like 784 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,160 Speaker 2: you have done this, and so we think that it's 785 00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 2: other people, but it's actually the barriers that we're actually 786 00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,440 Speaker 2: conflicting and putting onto ourselves. 787 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Laura. Honestly we're gonna have you 788 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:48,240 Speaker 1: on every pat same. I love chatting to you because 789 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,120 Speaker 1: you are such an inspiration to us and to the chicks. 790 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:55,120 Speaker 1: But for anybody who doesn't already follow you, where can 791 00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,640 Speaker 1: they find you and learn more about you and kicks mission? 792 00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,680 Speaker 2: So you can find me on Instagram at Laura dot 793 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,280 Speaker 2: Henshaw and then kickapp dot com. 794 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:06,480 Speaker 1: We are huge fans of the kickapp and everything and 795 00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,279 Speaker 1: also you guys have been so generous to offer the 796 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,640 Speaker 1: chicks one month free with the kickapp, so use the 797 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:15,120 Speaker 1: code two Broke Chicks for one month three for all 798 00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,359 Speaker 1: the t's and c's in the show notes spells the link. 799 00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:20,440 Speaker 3: Definitely get on it because we are obviously obsessed. 800 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you guys though we love you, Thank you 801 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:24,440 Speaker 4: so much, we do love you. 802 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,440 Speaker 3: And thanks to your chicks for having us in your ehels. 803 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,440 Speaker 3: We love you big. Thanks to Produce you for. 804 00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:30,160 Speaker 1: Having us while we were down here in Melbourne, and 805 00:34:30,200 --> 00:34:33,399 Speaker 1: of course your m ik made for Met King today's episode. 806 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,360 Speaker 3: Happened, nailed it. Bye, Chicks, Love you