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Speaker 1: I get a team. I'm back. I'm bloody back. I'm back.

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Speaker 1: I just went and had we I'm gonna be honest,

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Speaker 1: how do we you know those wheels that you're having,

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Speaker 1: You're like, fuck, how good is this? Anyway? How do

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Speaker 1: we add a cup of tea? And I'm back. I'm rebooted,

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Speaker 1: I'm hydrated, I'm energized. I'm looking at the Coin of

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Speaker 1: the World, not in person, but virtually the coin of

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Speaker 1: the World, the boss of me. People say, how do

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Speaker 1: you get so much shit done? Well? Thanks for asking.

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Speaker 1: She does it all. She's currently finishing my PhD. Hurry up, No,

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Speaker 1: just gagging. But she is extremely helpful and extremely amazing

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Speaker 1: and capable, and I'm going to say, just a little

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Speaker 1: bit fucking bossy. She presents as Mary Poppins. She's like

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Speaker 1: a Disney character, and on here you'll get all of that.

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Speaker 1: You'll get the whole kind of Mary Poppins vibe, you know,

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Speaker 1: and frozen, you'll get a bit of that. But wait

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Speaker 1: till the fucking camera stops rolling. Its terrifying. Melissa Marie Cameron,

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Speaker 1: the Coin of the World, the Coin of the U Project.

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Speaker 1: Where have you been?

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Speaker 2: Oh my goodness? Hello, happy two thousandths. That's kind of

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Speaker 2: hard to say. Happy two thousandths. Where have I been?

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Speaker 2: I've just been, you know, lurking in.

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Speaker 3: The background, just in the shadows, hanging out in the background.

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Speaker 1: Yes, lurky, lurky, mikel lerkstar.

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Speaker 2: I heard the Frozen reference. Have you ever seen Frozen?

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Speaker 1: It's my favorite movie. Yeah, I've seen.

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Speaker 2: It, singing let it Go or yeah.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do a rendition now because people.

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Speaker 1: I don't want people because once people hear it, they'll

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Speaker 1: want me to keep doing it. It's embarrassing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And also that whoever whoever sang the original, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to rain on their parade. I mean, they've got

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Speaker 1: to keep a job, and once people hear messing that ship,

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Speaker 1: they're going to be redundant. So we'll just keep it

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Speaker 1: under wraps from now.

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Speaker 2: Did you just let the cat out of the bag?

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Speaker 2: Finished a PhD? That that's you're going to be terring

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Speaker 2: in the next.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly what I'm going to be doing now. I

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Speaker 1: know how you are because I talk to you all

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Speaker 1: the time, but everyone else doesn't know how you are.

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Speaker 1: So for those of you who are relatively new, Melissa

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Speaker 1: is she's the life force of the You Project. She

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Speaker 1: runs not only well she does most of the editing

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Speaker 1: and gets the guests and does all of that, but

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Speaker 1: she also she's my business partner. So we own a

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Speaker 1: company called to You Project, and so we do events together.

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Speaker 1: She organizes all of my corporate work and travel, and

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Speaker 1: she works with Nova, who are our kind of supporters.

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Speaker 1: We're intertwined with Nova, and so she does all that

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Speaker 1: grown up I don't know what the fuck she does,

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Speaker 1: but she does something over there. I'm not sure. Look,

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Speaker 1: here's what I know. It involves money, involves sponsors and

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Speaker 1: what else. I know. We don't get enough, so Melissa

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Speaker 1: try harder. No, but she runs the business the businesses

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Speaker 1: and she's amazing. And and for those of you who

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Speaker 1: do know her, send some love on the typ Facebook

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Speaker 1: page and ask her to do more than one a year.

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Speaker 1: Well she hasn't done. How long do you reckon it

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Speaker 1: is since you've been on? I would say three years.

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Speaker 3: It's been a very long time, to the point where

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Speaker 3: I actually just double checked.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, are we recording?

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Speaker 3: Ah, yeah, I'm a little bit out of practice, but yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's been quite a while.

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Speaker 1: I want you to be brave. I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: do any fucking interrogating. But were you a bit nervous

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Speaker 1: to do this because you haven't done one for a

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Speaker 1: long time?

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Speaker 3: Yes, I've a little bit, and as I say, I'm

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Speaker 3: a little bit nervous and a little bit just out

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Speaker 3: of like.

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Speaker 1: Oh, are you a little bit How does this work? Again?

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Speaker 3: Yes?

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Speaker 1: A bit like how does it work? What do I do? Again?

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Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, well a lot of that going on. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad you're back, even if it is for one episode.

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Speaker 1: And maybe, you know, if the people speak loud enough,

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Speaker 1: maybe if there's you know, some kind of revault, you know,

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Speaker 1: some kind of Jimmy Kimmel kind of backlash that the

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Speaker 1: people might say, we want more of Melissa, we want

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Speaker 1: less of you, you fuck an idiot. And then I'll

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Speaker 1: just pop on once a year and you can. But

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Speaker 1: I can't do the shit you can do. So what

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Speaker 1: we're doing everyone, of course, you know, because we're halfway through.

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Speaker 1: So we've chatted with TIV and again, thank you all

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Speaker 1: so much for being part of our journey over the

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Speaker 1: two thousand episodes in that almost eight years. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: so we're just going to continue on with just some

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Speaker 1: thoughts and ideas that I think are somewhat representative important

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Speaker 1: representative kind of lessons to come out of or thought

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Speaker 1: bubbles to explore, to come out of the last two

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Speaker 1: thousand conversations or thereabouts on the you project. I'm interested

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Speaker 1: to hear what people think about the bit because we're

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Speaker 1: doing this in bits, and I recorded that you know

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Speaker 1: that bit at the start, Yes, the King, the King James. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and you know, you know when you do it. We'll

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Speaker 1: get into it in a minute, but you know, when

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Speaker 1: you do shit like I do this all the time

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Speaker 1: everyone because I'm a big fucking baby who's insecure. I'll

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Speaker 1: do something then i'll go less, what do you think

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Speaker 1: of this? And if she goes, oh, it's good or

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Speaker 1: a shit, I go yeah, I'm definitely not doing it then.

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Speaker 1: Or if she goes it's good, I'm like, I'm definitely

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Speaker 1: doing it then. So not insecure at all. So as

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Speaker 1: soon as I wrote that, because I have that churchy

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Speaker 1: background and because all of my biblical stuff was in

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Speaker 1: that literally it's called King James. That's written in kind

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Speaker 1: of that King James style vibe, and I find it

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Speaker 1: really easy to write in that language, and it's kind

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Speaker 1: of for me, it's familiar and it's funny, and it's

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Speaker 1: a little bit of kind of an intersection of where

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Speaker 1: I used to be and where I am now, and

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Speaker 1: it's and I try for it not to be disrespectful

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Speaker 1: from a theological perspective. But then I think, to me,

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Speaker 1: it sounds like funny and normal. But I think other

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Speaker 1: people would hear that and go what the fuck is saying?

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Speaker 1: Like what is this? Like? I don't what is he saying?

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Speaker 1: What do these words mean? Or worse still, imagine a

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Speaker 1: new person thinking this is actually how I just talk? Yes,

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Speaker 1: this is They're like, is that Saint Peter introing the show? Is?

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Speaker 1: What is that?

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Speaker 3: Is?

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Speaker 2: It?

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Speaker 1: Definitely not all right? So Tiff and I went through

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Speaker 1: let me tell you what Tiff and I went through.

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Speaker 1: So we spoke about the idea these ideas, assume you

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Speaker 1: could be wrong, do the hard thing to get the

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Speaker 1: good thing, Spend time with people who aren't like you, say,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, do what scares you, and all of

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Speaker 1: these we unpacked. As you know, hit the pause button,

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Speaker 1: set anti goals, loosen the grip on your identity, focus

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Speaker 1: on the climb, not the mountain. Stop thinking like you,

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Speaker 1: and that was it, and so we've got a few

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Speaker 1: more to get through. I don't know if we're going

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Speaker 1: to be thirty minutes, folks, or ninety minutes, but definitely

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Speaker 1: stick around if you can, and I'll try to make

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Speaker 1: this as user friendly and as kind of understandable, the

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Speaker 1: least jargon, the least science y kind of psychobabble that

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Speaker 1: we can manage. So Number one on your list, Melissa.

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Speaker 2: Is do exceptional to be exceptional?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's an interesting thing the whole, Like, on a level,

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Speaker 1: I think we all maybe we don't, but I think

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Speaker 1: a lot of us want to be exceptional. I don't

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Speaker 1: know what that means. Like for me, exceptional just means

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Speaker 1: that it isn't the normal. It's like the exception to

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Speaker 1: the rule. And so for me, it's about doing what

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Speaker 1: most people won't do to get perhaps what most people

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Speaker 1: won't get. So I feel like, you know, do exceptional

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Speaker 1: to be exceptional? Well if I just outlast everyone that's

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Speaker 1: doing exceptional? Yeah, Well, if I'm the guy that does

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Speaker 1: six hundred episodes that make no money when the average

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Speaker 1: podcast last seven or eight episodes and I do six hundred,

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Speaker 1: well that's not because I'm smarter or better. That's not

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Speaker 1: because I'm gifted. That's not because I'm clever. That's just

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Speaker 1: because I did what most people won't do right. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying oh one, no great, I'm saying no,

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Speaker 1: we can all find a way to, through choices and

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Speaker 1: behaviors and resilience, to do something that will help us

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Speaker 1: create an exceptional outcome. And that's not because we're better

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Speaker 1: than other people, or we have a superiority complex, or

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Speaker 1: we are ourselves innately exceptional. It's because we're going to

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Speaker 1: go Well, you know, I want to write a book,

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Speaker 1: and I want to get that book published, and I

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Speaker 1: want to sell some books. Well, I think I've spoken

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Speaker 1: to a thousand people in my life who want to

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Speaker 1: write a book. But the actual number of those thousand

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Speaker 1: people who wrote the book, planned the book, researched the book,

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Speaker 1: wrote the book, edited the book, got the book published,

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Speaker 1: got to turn into a real thing in the world

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Speaker 1: from a theoretical thing in their mind, and then got

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Speaker 1: it distributed and then sold books and then make some

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Speaker 1: money from it. And this is not a criticism, this

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Speaker 1: is just how it works. Is that the majority will

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Speaker 1: not do these things unless they are easy. So the

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Speaker 1: amount of people that I know out of the thousand

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Speaker 1: that said I'm going to write a book, I really

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Speaker 1: want to write a book. It might be ten. And

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Speaker 1: then the amount of those that actually had a commercial

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Speaker 1: success with that book. I'm not sure there was one.

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Speaker 1: And that's not to say we can't do it, and

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Speaker 1: that's maybe the make and dough from it is the variable.

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Speaker 1: But they're getting to a point where you've got a

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Speaker 1: printed book in your hand. You know that is really

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Speaker 1: just a matter of effort and consistency and time and

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Speaker 1: even if you have to self publish. But I'm all

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Speaker 1: about analyzing and weighing up. You know, what is the

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Speaker 1: cost of the thing that I want to do? Firstly,

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Speaker 1: what is it that I want to do? Be create? Like?

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Speaker 1: What do I want my career to look like? What

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Speaker 1: I want my body to look like, my relationships to

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Speaker 1: look like, my lifestyle to be. Where do I want

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Speaker 1: to live? What climate do I want to live in?

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Speaker 1: Do I want to produce and create over the next

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Speaker 1: five years? What kind of existence do I want to

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Speaker 1: build for my family for my kids? What kind of

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Speaker 1: a teacher do I want to be? What kind of

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Speaker 1: a role model do I want to be? And then

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Speaker 1: the very quick part two of those questions is and

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Speaker 1: what's required of me? What's required of me to do that?

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Speaker 1: Be that, create that, And so everything comes at a cost.

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Speaker 1: You know, I've worked with so many people who were

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Speaker 1: very successful, and not because they're in that innately talented

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Speaker 1: or super gifted or better than anyone necessarily, but rather

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Speaker 1: just because they fucking persevered, like they were the exception

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Speaker 1: to the rule. We know that most people who and

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Speaker 1: this is not this is not hate, This is just

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Speaker 1: how it happens. Most people who lose weight regain it.

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Speaker 1: Most people who decide to go to a gym join

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Speaker 1: the gym and say I'm going to go every day.

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Speaker 1: Most people don't go every day. Most people give up

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Speaker 1: the greater percentage, more than fifty percent, and stop going

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Speaker 1: within a relatively short time. Most people who said a

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Speaker 1: new year's resolution don't achieve the new year's resolution, not

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Speaker 1: because they can't, not because they don't have the capacity,

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Speaker 1: but because they just fucking stop. So what's normal is

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Speaker 1: giving up. What's normal is not finishing what we start.

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Speaker 1: What's normal is not dealing with the pain and the

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Speaker 1: discomfort and the inconvenience and the roadblocks and the peaks

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Speaker 1: and troughs, and the naysayers and the negativity and the

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Speaker 1: bullshit and the discomfort and the uncertainty and the unfamiliarity.

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Speaker 1: What's not normal is dealing with that and working through that.

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Speaker 1: What's normal is to give up in the middle of that.

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Speaker 1: And this is not a popular message. I don't care,

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Speaker 1: but it's fucking true message. And if you want to

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Speaker 1: be exceptional, or you want to at the very least

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Speaker 1: create exceptional outcomes, then you can't do what most people

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Speaker 1: do because you will live truly produce common results by

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Speaker 1: doing common things. And now this is not about arrogance

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Speaker 1: or superiority. This is about saying, all right, Melissa et al.

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Speaker 1: You are going to produce results anyway. You are constantly

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Speaker 1: producing results in your world, some of them good, some

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Speaker 1: of them fucking catastroptic, strophic, some of them Okay. Now,

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Speaker 1: what is it that you want to produce? And what

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Speaker 1: is the thing that you want to be Not because

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Speaker 1: you're comparing yourself to anyone, but what's the thing that

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Speaker 1: you want to be fucking great at? What do you

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Speaker 1: want to be great at? What do you want to

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Speaker 1: be successful at? What do you what do you want

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Speaker 1: to what do you want to live in the middle of?

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Speaker 1: And I think that's that, you know, this is really

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Speaker 1: part of the doing exceptional. To be exceptional is really

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Speaker 1: just will I roll up my sleeves, will I do

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Speaker 1: the work? And how long will I do it for?

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Speaker 1: So do exceptional to be exceptional?

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Speaker 2: Do you know? One of the probably biggest lessons that I've.

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Speaker 3: Learned in the last couple of years watching you do

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Speaker 3: your PhD and having the privilege of kind of seeing

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Speaker 3: what's going on behind the scenes with all of that,

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Speaker 3: has been ties directly into this, and that was just

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Speaker 3: watching you keep going no matter what. And I particularly

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Speaker 3: it reminds me of that night before your final review, which.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking of that just then.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like nine out of ten people that

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Speaker 3: night probably would have just thrown in the towel.

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Speaker 2: And I mean understandably.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's so many times that I've reflected back on

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Speaker 3: that and learned so much from the way that you

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Speaker 3: just persevered through that and somehow made it out the

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Speaker 3: other end.

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Speaker 2: And for that, you know, we don't want.

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Speaker 3: To you don't want to speak too soon, but for

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Speaker 3: that you'll be Yeah, you'll end up with that PhD

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Speaker 3: thank you.

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Speaker 1: That is a really interesting I've said many times university

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Speaker 1: is not my natural habitat. I can do it. I

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Speaker 1: can do it, and I can be academic, and I

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Speaker 1: can do the job, you know. But it's it's and

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Speaker 1: I love parts of it and I hate parts of it,

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Speaker 1: but I'm grateful for all of it, the love and

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Speaker 1: the hate. And what Melissa's talking about is so part

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Speaker 1: of my program anyway, is what's called academic milestones, and

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Speaker 1: I had four of them, and it's basically which I

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Speaker 1: spoke about earlier with Tiff, where you go and you

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Speaker 1: stand before a board of academics and professors, same thing,

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Speaker 1: and then they basically evaluate you. And before my last one,

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Speaker 1: which was you know, and like I said, they're either

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Speaker 1: going to give you a green light, an orange light,

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Speaker 1: or a red light. There's a chance that they'll go

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Speaker 1: you're out of the program, which they can still do

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Speaker 1: even at that stage after years of research. It's just

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Speaker 1: not to the quality, it's not to the standards. You

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Speaker 1: don't know what you're talking about. Performed terribly. That can happen.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't happen a lot, but that can happen. The

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Speaker 1: next way, more common is that they give you an

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Speaker 1: orange light and say, cool, you're on the right path,

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Speaker 1: but you need to do more, and you need to

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Speaker 1: go through this again. You need to repeat this again.

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Speaker 1: And I was positive I was either going to get

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Speaker 1: a red or an orange light. The fact that I

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Speaker 1: would get a green light hadn't even crossed my mind.

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Speaker 1: And I was on zoom the night before my review

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Speaker 1: trying to remember I told you everyone, it's a oh,

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Speaker 1: I didn't tell you this bit. It's a PowerPoint presentation.

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Speaker 1: Well fucking hell, that's like me trying to peel bananas

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Speaker 1: with boxing gloves on. I'm like, I can't, Like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not a PowerPoint presentation person. Anyway, it doesn't matter about

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Speaker 1: what you are, because Craig, it's it's we're not changing

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Speaker 1: the fucking system for you, of course, of course, of course.

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Speaker 1: And this is me saying, you know, mister, hey, just

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Speaker 1: be adaptable. I'm like, fuck your adaptation. You know this

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Speaker 1: is dumb. More like me anyway. So the night before

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Speaker 1: I and Melissa and Chris, my senior supervisor, and Lucy

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Speaker 1: my second supervisor, academic supervisor, I think, and Campbell, another

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Speaker 1: guy who was so you have a whole team, you

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Speaker 1: have a supporting team, and anyway, we were that's right.

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Speaker 1: So there was five of us and we were we

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Speaker 1: were on zoom to two o'clock, two o'clock in the

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Speaker 1: and from literally seven pm. And I I don't know

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Speaker 1: what my emotional limit is, but I was right there,

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Speaker 1: and I honestly and at that point where you're exhausted

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Speaker 1: and some things are like, this is not your natural habitat.

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Speaker 1: And by the way, I'm not I'm not saying I'm great.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I'm saying I wish I was great, because

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Speaker 1: this would have been way less stressful. But because I

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Speaker 1: with something, you know, with technology and with like even

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Speaker 1: using PowerPoint and all that stuff, which is very mundane

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Speaker 1: and basic for most people, so I don't use it.

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Speaker 1: So when and then when I go to use it,

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Speaker 1: it's like I'm trying to teach something that I don't

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Speaker 1: actually understand. But anyway, I got through. I got through.

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Speaker 1: And it was funny because the three previous reviews I

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Speaker 1: was I was very, very nervous, and leading up to this,

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Speaker 1: I was hysterically nervous. But then when it actually started,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember, and there was a

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Speaker 1: bit of it's almost like I hit one out of

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Speaker 1: the park, like I think one of the reviewers smiled,

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Speaker 1: or when oh yeah, that's interesting, or they gave me

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Speaker 1: something positive which is a rarity.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and it just kind of came together.

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Speaker 1: Oh but yeah, that was one of those moments for me. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Me that it also spoke to the fact that a

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Speaker 3: lot of it, even the night before, everything was just

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Speaker 3: it was a messy process, like there was no perfection

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Speaker 3: to it, Like it was just like messiness. And then

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Speaker 3: you know, you get feedback to say, no, that's going

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Speaker 3: to get thrown out or that's not done the right way,

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Speaker 3: and even like pulling that end product together, it was

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Speaker 3: a messy process, but you found a way. And I

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Speaker 3: think the other part of that too was there was

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Speaker 3: no kind of escape clause, like you had a due date,

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Speaker 3: everybody going to be there, there was no getting out

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Speaker 3: of it. It was obviously with the fact that so

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Speaker 3: many people know that you're doing your PhD, like there

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Speaker 3: was so much on the line, And I think that

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Speaker 3: also just kind of speaks to sometimes when you're forced

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Speaker 3: to do something, that can be the difference between you

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Speaker 3: actually getting it done and you've got that accountability and

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Speaker 3: not getting it done.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Yeah, how much disc can you deal with?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes that and also, you know, it's funny though we

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Speaker 1: speak about this all the time about in some rooms

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Speaker 1: you're the dumbest, in others you're the smartest, and you know,

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Speaker 1: it depends where you go, it depends who you're with,

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Speaker 1: and like that. That was very good for me though,

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Speaker 1: because as horrible as it was, I got through it,

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Speaker 1: which was nice. And you know, it's it's actually for

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Speaker 1: the guy that's pretty comfortable most of his life now,

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Speaker 1: like most of my discomfort is self inflicted, you know, training,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm walking a million miles a day, not that

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Speaker 1: that's hard, but you know, sometimes like I'm walking it

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Speaker 1: Nellie midnight because i haven't had you know, so I'm

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Speaker 1: out and I've got to do fucking eight thousand steps

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Speaker 1: before midnight or whatever it is, right, or you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm deadlifting, or I'm fucking leg pressing or a leg

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Speaker 1: press last week and I've had neural pain for fucking

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Speaker 1: seven days. I'm like, oh, but anyway, it just is

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Speaker 1: what it. But yes, do exceptional to be exceptional? Yes?

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Speaker 2: Have you found that?

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Speaker 3: Like as I said before, I've even like as a

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Speaker 3: third party, found that kind of has transferred to me

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Speaker 3: and the way I think and when I reflect back

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Speaker 3: of I'm doing something supposedly hard, thinking of moments like

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Speaker 3: that that make me go, no, I can't actually do it.

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Speaker 2: I just haven't committed enough, or something like that.

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Speaker 3: Have you found that that has kind of transferred into

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Speaker 3: other areas or aspects.

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Speaker 2: Of your life? You know?

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Speaker 3: How like sometimes when people, you know, they think they

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Speaker 3: can't run, and then all of a sudden they're running

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Speaker 3: a five k or a half malethron or whatever the

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Speaker 3: case might be, and then it opens up other doors.

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Speaker 2: Have you found that with your UNI work?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Look, with not just with that, but with everything.

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Speaker 1: You know, It's like I had sounded like the old

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Speaker 1: I can dickheat at the end of the bar that

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Speaker 1: just bangs on. But here I am. Did I have

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Speaker 1: to tell you how good I was? Fucking hold my beer,

390
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:02,679
Speaker 1: Brian and listen to this. But you know, like setting

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Speaker 1: up a personal training center when there weren't any. So

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Speaker 1: it's not like I could go and look at one.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't talk to a personal training center owner because

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Speaker 1: there wasn't one. There was no course, there was no insurance,

395
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Speaker 1: there was no industry, there was no profession. And I

396
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Speaker 1: was well, I started peteing at twenty two, and then

397
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Speaker 1: I set up my first studio at twenty six. But

398
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Speaker 1: and I was you know, I just didn't know how

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Speaker 1: to do anything. I didn't know how to lead people.

400
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Speaker 1: I didn't know how to build a business. I didn't

401
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Speaker 1: know about marketing or branding. I didn't know about accounting.

402
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Speaker 1: I didn't know about insurance. I didn't know about how

403
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Speaker 1: to find a property and secure a lease. And I

404
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:44,879
Speaker 1: didn't know how to talk to lawyers. I didn't know

405
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Speaker 1: how to pull all this shit together. I didn't know.

406
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Speaker 1: I didn't have any kind of business development plan. You know,

407
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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have known what a business development plan like.

408
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Speaker 1: But you just jump in, you know, you jump in

409
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Speaker 1: and you'll sink or swim, and you'll fuck things up.

410
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Speaker 1: But if you don't give up when you fuck up

411
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Speaker 1: the first thing, as long as you're not killing yourself

412
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Speaker 1: or anyone in the process, you go all right. Well

413
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Speaker 1: that was terrible. My first staff meeting with my three

414
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Speaker 1: staff was terrible. I was fucking hopeless. How can I

415
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Speaker 1: be better? Or you know this, you know this thing happened.

416
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Speaker 1: I've never dealt with that thing before, or I've got

417
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Speaker 1: an angry client and they're really mad at me, and

418
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Speaker 1: they want to how do I deal with angry people?

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Speaker 1: And it's not the business I'm working for. It's my

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Speaker 1: business now, you know, So all of that over the years,

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Speaker 1: all of that, you know, trying to I think hard

422
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Speaker 1: stuff is the best stuff, you know, and we don't

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Speaker 1: want it to be you know, overwhelming and debilitating, of course,

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Speaker 1: and like choosing hard is way better, of course, because

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Speaker 1: you have the option, but still consciously doing things that

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Speaker 1: you know are going to suck, because you know there's

427
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Speaker 1: perhaps some light at the end of that darkness of suck.

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Speaker 1: You know, you know that I don't want to do this.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to do this, but I know that

430
00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 1: if I do do it, I'll benefit from it because

431
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 1: I'll develop understanding and skill and resilience and knowledge and awareness,

432
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,120
Speaker 1: and I'll be able to get better. But I can't

433
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:19,440
Speaker 1: get better if I'm always choosing safe. If every decision

434
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: is about safety and certainty and predictability and familiarity and

435
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,440
Speaker 1: instant gratification and comfort, which it is for a lot

436
00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 1: of people, will fucking good luck trying to fulfill any

437
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:35,320
Speaker 1: of your potential because you can't do that being comfortable.

438
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: So so yeah, I think there's definite you know, and

439
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 1: we've spoken before about Huberman's AMCC and mid singulate cortext. Oh,

440
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 1: let's bang on about that, shall we. It's just a

441
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: bit of the brain everybody that when you do hard things,

442
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 1: whatever the hard thing is, whether or not it's you know,

443
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: cleaning the dishes at eleven thirty at night after a

444
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,760
Speaker 1: party and you really just want to go to bed,

445
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,800
Speaker 1: but you go, oh fuck it, and then clean the dishes,

446
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: You put them away, you clean the floor, and you

447
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 1: really don't want to, but you do it. When you're

448
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:07,040
Speaker 1: doing that thing that you probably should do but you

449
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: don't want to do. It might be getting up as

450
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,000
Speaker 1: soon as the alarm goes off and you don't want to,

451
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 1: but you do it. It might be you know, it

452
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 1: could be whatever, having that hard conversation that you're scared

453
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 1: to have, but you just go and have it anyway.

454
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: So there's there's actually a part of our brain that

455
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 1: grows when we choose to lean into the scary shit

456
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 1: or the hard ship. You know.

457
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 3: I feel like maybe yours is blown up to the

458
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,359
Speaker 3: point where it's dislodged your sinuses.

459
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:36,120
Speaker 1: Yes, I think that's what's happened. It's blocked my right sinus.

460
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:39,520
Speaker 1: It's crept over the top of my fucking prefrontal cortex

461
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: and it's making its way down. What's the next one

462
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 1: on our list?

463
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 2: I've made it up to number two thirty minutes this call.

464
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:53,959
Speaker 1: Can I say you are really inefficient? Sorry, I'm kidding though,

465
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,959
Speaker 1: we love, we love why. I can't speak on behalf everyone,

466
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,600
Speaker 1: but I love just hearing your back on the show

467
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,440
Speaker 1: and banging on what's an two?

468
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,000
Speaker 2: Compare you with you?

469
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,480
Speaker 1: Yeah? I'm not a big you know. They say comparison

470
00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,919
Speaker 1: is the thief of joy, and I think it's so true. Like,

471
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 1: you know, there are occasions where I think we could

472
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 1: perhaps pay attention to what someone else is doing it

473
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 1: and maybe learn something from that, or maybe you know, go,

474
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 1: well he did that, and him and I are kind

475
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: of similar, so maybe I could do that. Maybe there's

476
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:27,679
Speaker 1: that kind of comparison, but not that internal kind of

477
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: self judgment comparison where you look at what somebody else

478
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:36,879
Speaker 1: is doing and you either resent them or you resent yourself,

479
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 1: or you immerse yourself in a little bit of self

480
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 1: loathing because you're you're comparing two different things. You are

481
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 1: not them, and they are not you, and they don't

482
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:50,879
Speaker 1: have your genetics or talent or personality or resources, and

483
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 1: you don't have theirs. So it's not it's not really,

484
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 1: it's not a productive use of our energy, or our

485
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:01,119
Speaker 1: attention or our focus. I think, for me, the only

486
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:04,600
Speaker 1: healthy comparison I need to think this through. I'm sure

487
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 1: there's another one, but for me right now, the only

488
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 1: healthy comparison that springs to mind is me comparing me

489
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:13,800
Speaker 1: with me. You know how I was a year ago?

490
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,840
Speaker 1: How I am now? You know how I did this

491
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:20,239
Speaker 1: six months ago? Or even you know when you got

492
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 1: the flu. I don't compare my flu with your flu.

493
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 1: I go, how am I compared to Monday when I

494
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 1: couldn't get out of bed and I was shit? Well

495
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 1: now it's Friday, and yeah, I'm improving, I'm getting better.

496
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 1: This is good. I think there are healthy comparisons and

497
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:37,760
Speaker 1: unhealthy comparisons, but in general terms, you know, it's like

498
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,880
Speaker 1: That's why I think something like which is a high

499
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,520
Speaker 1: level form of comparison, but is testing in the gym

500
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 1: where we go to the gym and we get you know,

501
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,360
Speaker 1: a form of an aerobic a VO two or a

502
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: Subvo two max test where we're testing aerobic capacity, and

503
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,479
Speaker 1: we might test upper and lower body strength, and we

504
00:26:56,560 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: might test a flexibility range of movement around the joint.

505
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 1: We might do some balance testing. Like there's a bunch

506
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: of testing that we can do with our body. That

507
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 1: basically what it does, it gives us some baseline data.

508
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 1: And then what we often do off the back of

509
00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:13,680
Speaker 1: that is we'll go back in four weeks or eight weeks,

510
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: or twelve weeks or six, six weeks, sixteen weeks, I

511
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 1: should say, and we do the same thing. So we've

512
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 1: got now the same person with the same body, all

513
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,199
Speaker 1: bit slightly modified perhaps, but the same person with the

514
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 1: same body, doing the same tests, and we're getting more results.

515
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 1: And so we go, well, Melissa, on day one, you

516
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: did one push up. I'm going to be honest, it

517
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 1: wasn't great, you know. And now on you know, day

518
00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:42,680
Speaker 1: seventy two, which is twelve day eighty four, twelve sevens

519
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 1: or eighty four, twelve weeks later, you're doing seven push

520
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 1: ups and they're you know, full body weight and blah

521
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: blah blah. Week four you did two. And so we're

522
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 1: seeing growth and we're seeing oh, by the way, your

523
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 1: body compositions changed in the way that you wanted. It's changed,

524
00:27:58,080 --> 00:27:59,520
Speaker 1: so we had a number for that. Now we have

525
00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 1: a new number. Also, your aerobic capacity is improved and

526
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 1: you're resting. Heart rates dropped, and your blood pressures dropped,

527
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 1: and your VO two max, which is you know, our

528
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: oxygen carrying capacity has gone up, and all of these.

529
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 1: So I think that kind of comparison can be done

530
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:18,240
Speaker 1: in a really healthy way, and we don't need that

531
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:22,360
Speaker 1: level of expertise or scientific validation. We can go Hey,

532
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,480
Speaker 1: when I started running, or when I started walk a jog, walk, jog,

533
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,200
Speaker 1: eventually run, I used to do this five k circuit.

534
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,919
Speaker 1: It took me fifty minutes, and now I do the

535
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 1: five k circuit in thirty minutes. So I've gone from

536
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: ten minute you know ks to six minute ks, and

537
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: I reckon, I'm going to get quicker. So I'm doing

538
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 1: the same distance with the same body at a different speed,

539
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,040
Speaker 1: and not only am I doing it quicker, I'm finding

540
00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:51,440
Speaker 1: it easier than when I did it slower. And that's

541
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,320
Speaker 1: not because the distance has changed or the course has changed,

542
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: but rather I've changed. So that kind of comparison is

543
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: a healthy comparison. Probably then one we should kind of

544
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:01,760
Speaker 1: engage in.

545
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,680
Speaker 3: Do you think a lot of that also has to

546
00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:08,560
Speaker 3: do with our intention behind it, Like obviously with what

547
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 3: you're saying, there is comparing us to us, but even

548
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 3: if even if we do in some way compare us

549
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 3: to others, but from an aspirational point of view or

550
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 3: to use it as a motivation of Okay, that might

551
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 3: be possible if I, you know, compare me right now

552
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 3: to where I could be in say, two years time

553
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 3: kind of thing. Using that is more of a motivation

554
00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 3: or an aspiration as opposed to something negative in that oh,

555
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,640
Speaker 3: you know, why do they have this or why? You know,

556
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,040
Speaker 3: why are they there in their lives and I'm here

557
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 3: kind of thing?

558
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,880
Speaker 1: Yea one hundred percent. That's a good differentiation and a

559
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:50,760
Speaker 1: good distinction, And I think I think that's more paying

560
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:56,160
Speaker 1: attention to what people are doing, being creating, changing who

561
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 1: are somewhat similar to us. You know. So when I

562
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: see an other dude who's about my age, and you know,

563
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 1: he's just climbed fucking Everest or something, I take note.

564
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: I go, ah, he's my age and he just climbed

565
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: Mount Everest. I'm like, I don't go fuck that guy,

566
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:18,160
Speaker 1: I go, oh wow, that dude's a stud. I wonder

567
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: if given the right circumstances preparation conditioning, I wonder if

568
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 1: I could do that. And that's not something I'm interested in,

569
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 1: but definitely if I was, i'd maybe I would use

570
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 1: that guy as a source of inspiration. So definitely, I

571
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 1: think we can use it in that context. However, I

572
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 1: do not know the answer to this, but I would

573
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 1: speculate that the majority of comparison off the back of

574
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: social media is more to the unhealthy end of the scale,

575
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 1: Like I think, you know, literally comparison culture. You know,

576
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:54,520
Speaker 1: what we talk about more broadly these days. That ain't

577
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: a good thing. That what we're talking about there. But again,

578
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: with everything, it depends depends how we do it, depends

579
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:06,800
Speaker 1: why we do it, you know, it depends like anything.

580
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: You know, drinking water is healthy until you drink ten

581
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 1: liters a day, and then it's going to kill you

582
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 1: because it dilutes things in your blood that shouldn't be diluted,

583
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 1: and you get a thing called hypenetremia where all of

584
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,440
Speaker 1: your you know, minerals and salts get deleted and your

585
00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: blood pressure drops and people literally die from being overhydrated. Well,

586
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,480
Speaker 1: obviously that's an extreme case, but it's still people drink

587
00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 1: and water. It's sometimes it's about what we do with

588
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 1: the thing. Sometimes it's about the dose, you know. It's

589
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: like I've shared on this quite openly before, and I

590
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 1: don't drink or smoke every now and then. Maybe five

591
00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:47,440
Speaker 1: times a year, I'll have a two milligram nicorette gum

592
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 1: because it kind of lights up my brain for an

593
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 1: hour or two and I'm like, this is fucking terrific.

594
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,719
Speaker 1: But I won't have another one for like three months,

595
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: and I'll only do it if if I need a

596
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 1: little bit of a cognitive boost. But would I wreck

597
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: amend any listeners to do that. Nope, nope. I'm just

598
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:07,120
Speaker 1: telling you what I do ah every now and then.

599
00:32:07,360 --> 00:32:09,719
Speaker 1: But it's like it's again, it's like, yeah, well that, oh,

600
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: I guess that's okay, Craig, Like, two milligrams of nicotine

601
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 1: four times a year is probably not going to kill you,

602
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:20,440
Speaker 1: but twenty milligrams of nicotine every day is a different story.

603
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 1: So it's it comes down and people go, I'm so

604
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 1: surprised that No, I don't confuse nicotine with cigarettes. Yes,

605
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 1: most firstly, I'm not saying nicotine is great. I'm saying

606
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,320
Speaker 1: most of the shit that kills you in cigarettes isn't

607
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 1: the nicotine. Albeit, nicotine is addictive, but you know there

608
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 1: are Let's not have that conversation. But yes, let's move

609
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 1: on to the Yeah, let's do that before I get

610
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 1: fucking sidetracked and back myself into a cognitive and verbal

611
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 1: cul de sac that I just did.

612
00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 2: Okay, next we have start unready.

613
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, And all I mean by that is, I guess

614
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 1: I'm speaking to the fact that a lot of people

615
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 1: spend their life waiting for the mystical, mythical, magical right time.

616
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 1: It's not the right time, it's not the right this,

617
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 1: or it's not the right that. And look, that is

618
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 1: true sometimes, but also and in other news, sometimes that's bullshit.

619
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: You know. Sometimes art's not a good time is code

620
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: for I'm scared and I don't want to start. And

621
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 1: I understand that too. I've done that too, not a

622
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 1: good time, my ankle saw that. Whatever the it's coming

623
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 1: up to holidays, it's this. And I'm not saying we

624
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: should willing, nearly just dive into things recklessly. However, if

625
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: you are one of the people who have been almost

626
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 1: starting things for ten years, and you're never ready. You know,

627
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,720
Speaker 1: what some people are really saying is I'll start when

628
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: I'm ready. They're really saying, I'll start when I'm not scared.

629
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,840
Speaker 1: I'll start when it's convenient, I'll start when it's easy,

630
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,760
Speaker 1: I'll start when it's comfortable, I'll start when it's risk free.

631
00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 1: Because the truth is, the thing that most of us

632
00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 1: need to start to really create shift is usually fucking hard.

633
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,399
Speaker 1: And the dichotomy is, on the one hand, we want

634
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:20,720
Speaker 1: change and on the other hand we want to be comfortable, though,

635
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,360
Speaker 1: and change and comfort don't go together. So it's the

636
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:29,520
Speaker 1: willingness to go, yeah, do I feel totally ready? Do

637
00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: I feel mentally and emotionally? And no? Of course, of

638
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,800
Speaker 1: course it's going to suck a bit, you know, And

639
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:40,360
Speaker 1: let's separate that kind of process from you know, diving

640
00:34:40,400 --> 00:34:43,080
Speaker 1: into something that's reckless and dangerous. Of course, we're not

641
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:43,799
Speaker 1: suggesting that.

642
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:44,839
Speaker 2: With that.

643
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 3: A couple of things actually come to mind, and I

644
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 3: don't mean to keep tying it back to you. Which

645
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:53,520
Speaker 3: one is that something that kind of came up throughout

646
00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,239
Speaker 3: the process was starting with like a draft zero kind

647
00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,720
Speaker 3: of thing, Because I think a lot of the fear

648
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 3: of our well, I've got to start. But not only

649
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 3: do I have to start, it's starting with kind of

650
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 3: the end product in mind, and therefore expecting to go

651
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:12,040
Speaker 3: from nothing to the end product in one go without

652
00:35:12,080 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 3: any of iteration, without any form of and whether that's

653
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:19,520
Speaker 3: you know, writing a paper or changing a routine or

654
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,240
Speaker 3: you know, starting a different form of exercise. I feel

655
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 3: like that's just something that's kind of become a little

656
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 3: bit more apparent for me in recent years of No,

657
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 3: you don't have to start with the the you know,

658
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,879
Speaker 3: the intention of it being the perfect end product right now,

659
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 3: it's just get something on paper or just start with

660
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 3: the exercise and then kind of iterate as you go.

661
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 3: And yeah, I think that's been a real light bulb moment.

662
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:45,920
Speaker 3: I know for me, I know it sounds obvious, but

663
00:35:46,719 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 3: as somebody who's probably innately.

664
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 2: Driven to be quite type A, it.

665
00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 1: May as also known as OCD as fuck. Let's be honest,

666
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: A bad draft is better than no draft. Yes, like

667
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,840
Speaker 1: not outstanding workouts better than the couch, as long as

668
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,160
Speaker 1: you're not injuring yourself. I mean, yeah, you're exactly right.

669
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 1: And this ties into the you know, that My thing

670
00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:16,359
Speaker 1: that I bang on about, and it's a metaphor, it's

671
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: not literal, or it can be literal, is you can't

672
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: become a black belt without being a white belt.

673
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 2: Yep.

674
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,680
Speaker 1: So when you're a white belt, you're bad. Everyone is

675
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 1: better than you. Yeah, today is day one. Put on

676
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 1: your white belt. You're the fucking outlier. That's okay, one

677
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: day you won't be. But right now you have no knowledge,

678
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:39,880
Speaker 1: no understanding, no specific fitness to that art form. You

679
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:43,680
Speaker 1: have no skill, you have no knowledge, and right now

680
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: you're the worst in the room. And guess what. That's exciting.

681
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: What if we turn that round and go, guess what,

682
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 1: you are the one person in the room with the

683
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:55,840
Speaker 1: most potential for growth. Yeah, right, we just flipped that

684
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 1: little bit right. We're like, hey, dude, you've got more

685
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: scope for improvement over the next twelve months than everyone

686
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: else in this room because you're zero. You're zero, and

687
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: they're already somewhere between three and ten. You're zero in

688
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 1: a year, you're going to be three. Yes, that's a

689
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 1: massive improvement. But the dude who's eight in a year,

690
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 1: or the dude at they're not going to be ten.

691
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,120
Speaker 1: They're going to be eight point one, they're going to

692
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 1: have improved point one. You're going to improve three. And

693
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:31,439
Speaker 1: so this is reframing. And this is, by the way,

694
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,799
Speaker 1: how do I get good at stuff that I'm bad at? Well,

695
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: you start when you're bad at it, you start unready,

696
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: you go okay, So this is going to suck. It's

697
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: really just as we said before, it's accepting the price, Like,

698
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,959
Speaker 1: what's the price. The prices I'll get humiliated. The price

699
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: is i'll have I'll probably get an injury or two.

700
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 1: If we're talking about the dojo example, the price is

701
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 1: I'll look silly. The price is, you know, a self

702
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 1: esteem might take a fucking battering. And okay, are you

703
00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 1: okay with all of that? Oh I am cool? Off

704
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 1: you go boom the end. Stop fucking overthinking it. Stop

705
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 1: stop having to be okay, stop having to look good,

706
00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 1: stop having you know, or stop wanting people to think

707
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 1: highly of you all the time. Fuck it. Just do

708
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:18,120
Speaker 1: the process. Just do the process.

709
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 2: Stop.

710
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:22,520
Speaker 1: How hilarious is it that we worry about what people

711
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: we don't even know. People who don't know us, understand us,

712
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 1: have never met us, they do not love us, Yet

713
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:32,840
Speaker 1: we worry about their opinion what a fucking massive waste

714
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:36,319
Speaker 1: of emotional energy. You know, have I ever done it?

715
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:41,239
Speaker 1: Of course, this is the human experience. And it's like, oh,

716
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,360
Speaker 1: how do I overcome that? Well, you don't overcome it

717
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: by sitting home worrying about what people are going to

718
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: think if you turn up to the gym. Yes, I

719
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,880
Speaker 1: mean I know hundreds of people who won't go to

720
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 1: the gym because they think they're too fat. And that's

721
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: not my words, that's their words. It's like, oh, I

722
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: can't I need to lose weight. I'm like, ah, do

723
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:03,320
Speaker 1: you understand what a gym's for? And by the way,

724
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 1: you're not too fat, you're not too by the way,

725
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 1: you're perfect. But also you know or you're perfectly ready

726
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:13,520
Speaker 1: to go. But also here's the thing you don't think about.

727
00:39:13,640 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 1: And if anyone knows this thing I'm about say, it's

728
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: fucking me right. Nobody gives a fuck about you in

729
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,759
Speaker 1: the gym, Like, hey, have a look at them. They're

730
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 1: either looking at their phone or looking at themselves in

731
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,240
Speaker 1: the mirror. They don't give a fuck about you sitting

732
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: on the xcise bike sweating your ass off. So fucking

733
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: don't worry about it, you know, And if one of

734
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 1: them did, Oh, here's an idea who cares, like, stop

735
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:48,400
Speaker 1: giving people your power. Stop handing over your own sovereignty

736
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: and your own self esteem and your own fucking self

737
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 1: worth to that blokeup there that doesn't even notice you're

738
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,399
Speaker 1: in the gym. That's what we do. This is all

739
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,160
Speaker 1: shit that goes on. And oh no, I'm not comfortable

740
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,600
Speaker 1: in that place. Guess what it's not about the place.

741
00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,920
Speaker 1: It could it be about you. And of course, sometimes

742
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 1: if somebody has been you know, bullied or whatever, I

743
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:11,840
Speaker 1: get that. But in general terms, yeah, oh, gyms don't.

744
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: A lady said to me recently, gyms don't work for me. Okay,

745
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: what does that even mean? Oh, they don't work for me.

746
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I don't. What does that mean? She goes, oh, no,

747
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:24,919
Speaker 1: it's not my thing. I'm like, well, here's here's here's

748
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 1: a thing. You're sitting there asking me how to get

749
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 1: in shape. Now I'm telling you how to get in shape.

750
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 1: I'm also telling you they've invented these places called gyms,

751
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 1: and for about fifteen bucks a week or two bucks

752
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 1: a day, you can go to these gyms, these places

753
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 1: twenty four seven and you can have a million dollars

754
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:49,319
Speaker 1: worth of equipment at your disposal for two bucks a day.

755
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 1: And by the way, you don't need to enjoy it,

756
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,440
Speaker 1: you need to love it, like this whole rule. Oh,

757
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 1: if I'm not enjoying it, I'm not doing it. Well,

758
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: good luck with life, because there's a lot of shit

759
00:41:02,160 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 1: you're not going to enjoy. Like hopefully, if there's two

760
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 1: options and they produce the same outcome on the same outcome,

761
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 1: well sure, let's choose the one that's more enjoyable. I'm

762
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 1: with you. But the bottom line is the reality is,

763
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 1: initially anyway, there'll be things that you don't enjoy. And

764
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,480
Speaker 1: guess what, over time, when you build confidence, when you

765
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: build fitness, when you build strength, when your body changes,

766
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,960
Speaker 1: when your mind changes, or whatever the challenge or whatever

767
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,200
Speaker 1: the environment. But over time you'll change and then the

768
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 1: thing that you didn't in. Oh, so many people I

769
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 1: know have gone from mom not a gym person to

770
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,239
Speaker 1: they're a fucking gym junkie. Now they're annoying the shit

771
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: out of everybody talking about the gym. It wasn't about

772
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 1: the gym at all. It was about their thinking, you know,

773
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: I could never, I could never. Well, no, you can

774
00:41:44,719 --> 00:41:47,799
Speaker 1: you just don't want to or you're scared. All right,

775
00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 1: let's plow on.

776
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 2: The next one. Show ugly you.

777
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 1: Oh, show ugly you like I just love And by

778
00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:02,600
Speaker 1: that I mean, like, h stop trying to be. As

779
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: I said with Tiff, the persona, not the person that's

780
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 1: like like, not the show, you know, not the brand.

781
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,520
Speaker 1: Like I think, and I've mentioned this too many times,

782
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:15,440
Speaker 1: but I just think there's a liberation in sharing our

783
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 1: flaws and fuck ups and failures, wrinkles and backfat with

784
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:23,799
Speaker 1: the world. You know. It's like, I mean, think about this,

785
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:29,000
Speaker 1: like talking about showing up ugly I reckon thirty times

786
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: in the last eight years. I've literally spoken about my

787
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 1: shitting on this show. How to have a great shit,

788
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 1: you know, how to optimize one's anatomy when one's sitting

789
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 1: there with a squatty potty that I'm not sponsored by,

790
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: by the way, but hey, feel free to reach out

791
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 1: squatty potty.

792
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:47,279
Speaker 2: And that, my.

793
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 3: Friend, is why you've had not one, but two of

794
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,000
Speaker 3: those brands approached you in the last week.

795
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:55,680
Speaker 2: Have I haven't told you about the second one yet?

796
00:42:55,719 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 2: But yes, oh.

797
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 1: Well, what don't I know these things? But anyway, but

798
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,239
Speaker 1: what I mean is it's like, I think it's so

799
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 1: funny that people I understand it, by the way, but

800
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 1: I'm like, surely there's someone else that listens to this

801
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:12,560
Speaker 1: show that shits. Surely there's another shitter out there. Surely

802
00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: I am not the only one. And by the way,

803
00:43:15,280 --> 00:43:19,920
Speaker 1: surely some people get constipated and having a good morning

804
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:25,319
Speaker 1: kind of evacuation is not always easy for them. I know,

805
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,640
Speaker 1: I've got a bit of insight. Let's talk about it,

806
00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 1: you know. And I don't think every show, and I

807
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 1: know right now some people are going, oh my god,

808
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 1: this is disgusting. I'm turning off. Sure sure, Brian turn off,

809
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 1: Diane turn off. It's all good. I shouldn't say that

810
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:43,040
Speaker 1: because then people I love Diane's and I love Brian,

811
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: so apologies. But I mean that, you know, just being

812
00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 1: able to show up and being whatever you are, and

813
00:43:48,840 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 1: whether or not that's you know, the best version of

814
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 1: you or the ugly version. I don't mean physically ugly.

815
00:43:54,080 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 1: I mean where you're just not trying to present this image,

816
00:43:58,280 --> 00:44:00,799
Speaker 1: you know, so and if if you can turn up

817
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:03,880
Speaker 1: just being raw and real and then inverted commas ugly

818
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:08,280
Speaker 1: and people can accept you and love you and connect

819
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 1: with you in that state, then you don't need to

820
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:15,560
Speaker 1: worry about dragging around this fucking persona with you everywhere.

821
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: That's exhausting. Right next one, I'm ready.

822
00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 2: We can't get more talent.

823
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 1: Yes, I know that's an obvious thing to say, but

824
00:44:25,719 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 1: you know, we can develop skill. We can build skill,

825
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:31,359
Speaker 1: we can build fitness, we can build strength, we can

826
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: learn to sing better, we can learn to paint better,

827
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: we can learn to optimize things. But I feel like

828
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,440
Speaker 1: I say that a lot. It's been my experience that

829
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 1: a lot of people waste a lot of their talent,

830
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 1: you know, let's talent, potential, innate capacity to be able

831
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 1: to do something amazing. And it's not that they don't

832
00:44:56,000 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: have the capacity for greatness or success or breakthroughs. That's

833
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,359
Speaker 1: not that they don't have that. It's not that they

834
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,319
Speaker 1: don't have the talent or the potential to be able

835
00:45:05,360 --> 00:45:09,759
Speaker 1: to succeed and create something spectacular. The problem is not

836
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,440
Speaker 1: so much that as it is they're thinking about that

837
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 1: their self talk. I'm shit, I couldn't do that. I've

838
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 1: got no talent. I'm not creative. I couldn't go to

839
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:21,720
Speaker 1: a gym, i couldn't run. There's all of these stories,

840
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 1: there's all of these intertwined stories that are intertwined with

841
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:30,920
Speaker 1: beliefs that they become the prison. Your hurdle is not

842
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:35,440
Speaker 1: your talent. The obstacle is not your potential. The obstacle

843
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 1: is your thinking, you know. And when our constant in

844
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:42,799
Speaker 1: a dialogue is you know, somewhere between I don't think

845
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:46,560
Speaker 1: I could and I'm complete shit, I definitely could. We

846
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:48,719
Speaker 1: need to recognize that for what that is, and that

847
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,360
Speaker 1: is just a story. And of course, you know, we

848
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 1: are not. Our capacity is not limitless. Of course there's

849
00:45:55,600 --> 00:45:59,919
Speaker 1: a limit to what we can do. But I haven't

850
00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:04,439
Speaker 1: I met too many people who I think if ten

851
00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 1: is our limit, our individual ten, I don't think I've

852
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:11,399
Speaker 1: met too many people who are up near ten. And

853
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 1: that's well, that might sound like criticism, it's actually a

854
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:18,279
Speaker 1: compliment because I just think people have got way more

855
00:46:18,320 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 1: ability than they think. Yes, you know, way more ability.

856
00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:26,120
Speaker 1: A quick story which I've shared five times, I had

857
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: a lady called doesn't matter, but an older lady that

858
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 1: was one of my first clients ever. And you've heard

859
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,239
Speaker 1: this story. She came to my first ever studio, which

860
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:39,760
Speaker 1: was little, fifteen hundred square foot studio nine ninety above

861
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:44,239
Speaker 1: another a retail business, and she walked in with a

862
00:46:44,280 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 1: cane basket because she'd been shopping. She was chubbs, she

863
00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 1: was gorgeous, she was irish, she had the most beautiful voice.

864
00:46:52,200 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: She's like, I just wanted to fucking hug her, which

865
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:57,359
Speaker 1: would have been weird, weird as soon as she walked up,

866
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 1: she walked up the stairs because I think it set

867
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: on my door. Some like Craig Harper fitness consultant. This

868
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:04,840
Speaker 1: was before the Harpers brand. I was doing it. I

869
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:08,959
Speaker 1: was training people. I had a studio, but I due

870
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:13,400
Speaker 1: to some comp not complications, but some restrictions by the council,

871
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:15,840
Speaker 1: Like you weren't allowed to open a gym, but you

872
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:19,839
Speaker 1: could have a consultancy. I'm like, okay, so what if

873
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,760
Speaker 1: I fill it with gym equipment and I call a consultancy.

874
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 1: They're like, yep, great idea. I'm like, fuck and now

875
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 1: I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed,

876
00:47:28,600 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 1: but you blokes are fucking idiots, right, so okay, so

877
00:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 1: we'll call it. Anyway. She came in and she saw me,

878
00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: and she saw the gym, and she was like, fuck this,

879
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: and she did a one ad and she was about

880
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 1: to walk out, and you know, she I chatted to

881
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 1: her and I somehow convinced her to come back and

882
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,400
Speaker 1: just do a little easy, peasy workout and she loved it.

883
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,839
Speaker 1: And you know, it took a little while before she

884
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 1: loved me and loved it, but she loved it. And

885
00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 1: you know, she got very comfortable, very quickly, and or

886
00:48:03,040 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: you know, I'm going to say within a week. And

887
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 1: then we just started talking about you know, like she

888
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 1: was very unfit and she's like, but what how do

889
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,240
Speaker 1: I even I'm not you know, I'm like, cool, whatever

890
00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:18,200
Speaker 1: you can do if you can walk up the stairs once,

891
00:48:18,360 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: because there were stairs to the space, I go, so

892
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 1: we'll walk up the stairs and then you put your

893
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:25,920
Speaker 1: bum on a seat for a minute and we'll have

894
00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 1: a chat, and then you'll do another one, and you

895
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 1: put your bum on a seat for another minute, and

896
00:48:30,280 --> 00:48:31,879
Speaker 1: then you do another one and then we go, wow,

897
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,520
Speaker 1: today she did three flights. Well done. And then we'll

898
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:36,279
Speaker 1: go and do some lightweights and then we'll have a

899
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:37,880
Speaker 1: gentle stretch and then I'm going to talk to you

900
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,239
Speaker 1: about your food a bit, and then I'm going to

901
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:42,520
Speaker 1: tell three dick jokes because I'm hilarious, and then I'm

902
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 1: going to send you on your way. She's probably inappropriate

903
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: for it. There's no extra cost, no extra cost, and

904
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 1: she that was her favorite bit because she was Irish.

905
00:48:52,800 --> 00:48:54,719
Speaker 1: But then you know when you go, all right, so

906
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 1: now it's been three months and now you're doing twenty

907
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,399
Speaker 1: flights of those stairs that you could only do one.

908
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: And that's progress, that's changed, that's transformation. And anyway, some

909
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:08,319
Speaker 1: months after that first workout, I honestly can't remember how

910
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 1: many months, but I'm going to say it was somewhere

911
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 1: between six and twelve, she did a five k run

912
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,239
Speaker 1: five k run with me. She ran a five kilometer

913
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:21,120
Speaker 1: fun run which I registered her and myself in and

914
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:25,279
Speaker 1: her family, oh my god. Her family were like they

915
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 1: did not because she didn't really let on what she

916
00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:30,240
Speaker 1: was doing too much. It's kind of hard to explain

917
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:32,760
Speaker 1: back in the nineties also early nineties, what the fucker

918
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:36,880
Speaker 1: personal trainer is. Nobody really gets it. People used to

919
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:39,400
Speaker 1: go so they give you money and you watch them exercise.

920
00:49:39,600 --> 00:49:42,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, kinda kind of they do the workout and

921
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 1: I get the cash. It's a little bit more than that,

922
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,600
Speaker 1: but and what do you do do you not work

923
00:49:47,640 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 1: out with them. I go, no, I'll watch them. They go.

924
00:49:49,239 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 1: So you fucking stand there and they do it, and

925
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 1: you get I'm like, what a great idea. Huh.

926
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:56,560
Speaker 3: I wonder how she actually ended up there on that day,

927
00:49:56,760 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 3: because well.

928
00:49:57,920 --> 00:50:00,040
Speaker 1: She wanted to see what it was, because she I

929
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,080
Speaker 1: wanted to do something about her health, and it just

930
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,840
Speaker 1: said fitness consultant. I could have been a bloke and

931
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 1: a white coat and a stepthoscope and she didn't know what.

932
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 1: She walked up and there's a fucking there's a savage

933
00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 1: in a fucking tiny singlet lifting heavy shit, and she's like,

934
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 1: get the fuck out of here, like she couldn't turn

935
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 1: around quick enough. You know. I don't blame her, but

936
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:28,800
Speaker 1: uh yeah, and she just that lady. Oh my god.

937
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:32,000
Speaker 1: When I looked at she lost like thirty k's. Her

938
00:50:32,040 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 1: fitness went from literally fucking half two for her potential

939
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:43,239
Speaker 1: to an eight. Yeah, amazing and amazing to see. Yeah,

940
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:47,320
Speaker 1: family came and watched, and oh well some of her family.

941
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,120
Speaker 1: Her husband thought. I don't know what her husband thought

942
00:50:50,160 --> 00:50:53,760
Speaker 1: about me. He's like, the fuck's this bloke? And kids

943
00:50:53,760 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 1: and she was crying and they were crying, and it's

944
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 1: like just the best, the best, but it's for me.

945
00:50:58,719 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 1: It's not even the fun one was great, the transformation

946
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:03,719
Speaker 1: was great, but you know what's fucking great? And this

947
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:07,360
Speaker 1: is always the way when people go from such a

948
00:51:07,400 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 1: low starting point to such an achievement. There's always part

949
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: of them. Yet there's the physical stuff. You're leaning, you better,

950
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 1: you're faster, you're healthier, you've just increased your lifespan and

951
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:22,879
Speaker 1: your health span. Fucking go you. But there's this other

952
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:25,680
Speaker 1: thing which is almost not thought of, which for me

953
00:51:25,840 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 1: is the real power all of us. Sudden they start

954
00:51:29,520 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: to understand their potential. Yeah, you know, they start to

955
00:51:33,719 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 1: which is what we're talking about, talent potential. They just

956
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:42,040
Speaker 1: start to go, oh ah, in a million years, I

957
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:44,760
Speaker 1: did not even think I could do this. I wouldn't

958
00:51:44,760 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 1: even have thought about it. And not only do I

959
00:51:47,640 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 1: now know I can do it, I've actually done it.

960
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:53,319
Speaker 1: And then you think, just as I did when I

961
00:51:53,360 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 1: was fourteen and lost thirty odd kilos, then you think, oh,

962
00:51:57,400 --> 00:51:59,840
Speaker 1: what else can I do that I thought I couldn't do?

963
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 1: Because this opens a different door in your brain where

964
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:08,960
Speaker 1: you start to get evidence that's at odds with your

965
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:13,560
Speaker 1: belief about what's your capacity. You're like, well, fuck, my

966
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,799
Speaker 1: story is I can't do this, and now I've got

967
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 1: evidence to the contrary. It's not someone wishing me well

968
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:23,960
Speaker 1: or giving me a bit of a fucking group hug

969
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,120
Speaker 1: or a pat on the back. I've actually done this

970
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:30,319
Speaker 1: thing and it's you know, so when people say how

971
00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 1: do you build confidence, it's like, just do hard shit.

972
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:34,959
Speaker 1: You can have all the fan clubs in the world

973
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 1: telling you you're a fucking legend, but it's not the

974
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 1: same until you actually go and do what is legendary

975
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 1: for you.

976
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 2: And when you go, ah, so that wasn't true. What

977
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,120
Speaker 2: else isn't true?

978
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 1: Oh exactly, Melissa, exactly. Can I just say something that

979
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:53,240
Speaker 1: I'm noticing right.

980
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,600
Speaker 2: Now, Yes, that we're going for a really long time.

981
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 1: No, I'm cool with that. Can I just say that

982
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 1: you've made a crucial mistake?

983
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 3: Did I not hit I've hit record. I've checked it

984
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 3: about fourteen times.

985
00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 1: No, I'm not talking about your Your crucial mistake is

986
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:12,600
Speaker 1: that you're so fucking good at this. And I know

987
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:14,480
Speaker 1: you're going to go no, I'm shit, na, na, nah,

988
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:17,799
Speaker 1: but you're good at this. You should Hey, everyone, if

989
00:53:17,840 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 1: you think Melissa should do more of this. Please go

990
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 1: to the Facebook page. Please go to the Facebook page.

991
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:29,399
Speaker 1: And if we get one hundred people, if we get

992
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 1: one hundred people who like it, and so we just

993
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:34,240
Speaker 1: need to go yep, I think, and then one hundred

994
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:37,280
Speaker 1: people agree, then we might have to have a meeting.

995
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 1: You and I all right, let's keep going.

996
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 2: That's because we were only like five in and we're

997
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:43,680
Speaker 2: like an hour.

998
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,720
Speaker 1: You are we? How long we've been recording?

999
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:48,920
Speaker 2: Three minutes?

1000
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:52,680
Speaker 3: I think I think we babbled a bit beforehand, but

1001
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 3: I think it's been I think I think you're good.

1002
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,399
Speaker 1: I think you're the actual real next one.

1003
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,520
Speaker 2: Stop waiting for apetuny it is.

1004
00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:03,759
Speaker 1: Stop waiting for opportunities. I think that you know, when

1005
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: opportunities present themselves magically, that's good. But I think there

1006
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:19,680
Speaker 1: are three kind of components. There's people who there are

1007
00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:23,080
Speaker 1: people who hope an opportunity presents itself and wait for

1008
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 1: an opportunity to come along. There are people who try

1009
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:33,160
Speaker 1: to connect with others I guess, to get an opportunity.

1010
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 1: And then there are those who go, fuck it, how

1011
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:42,000
Speaker 1: can I what can I practically do myself to make

1012
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:46,320
Speaker 1: my own opportunity? You know? So I guess the analogy

1013
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:48,800
Speaker 1: is like, you know, nobody's going to come knock on

1014
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:50,719
Speaker 1: your door to say, I know you think you're an

1015
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:54,920
Speaker 1: author and we publish books, or you're a potential author,

1016
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:58,359
Speaker 1: so we're just here just to you know, reach out

1017
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,520
Speaker 1: and say, start right that book because we're going to

1018
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 1: publish it. Like that's never happening. So how do you

1019
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:06,319
Speaker 1: get to that stage? Will you write a book? You

1020
00:55:06,360 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 1: just start writing and you write it, you edit it,

1021
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: you refine it. You think about a name, you think

1022
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,319
Speaker 1: about what's on the front cover and the back cover.

1023
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,280
Speaker 1: You think about distribution, you think about who's your target audience.

1024
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:18,279
Speaker 1: And you don't need a degree to do this, and

1025
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 1: you don't need anybody in your ear to do this.

1026
00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:23,319
Speaker 1: You can just do this and the first draft will

1027
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:25,239
Speaker 1: be shit, in the second draft to be less shit,

1028
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 1: and people will look at it and give your feedback

1029
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,319
Speaker 1: and maybe if that's what you want, and then you

1030
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 1: can read and reread and you know, then eventually, you know,

1031
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 1: I wrote my first book and self published because who

1032
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 1: the fuck's Craig Harper? And then that got self published.

1033
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:44,160
Speaker 1: Then I got approached by a publisher. Now they only

1034
00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: approached me with an opportunity or an offer because I

1035
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 1: did it in the first place. Yes, So because I

1036
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:55,600
Speaker 1: created my own opportunity by literally sitting down and doing

1037
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:58,399
Speaker 1: the work and then producing something and pushing it out

1038
00:55:58,440 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: into the real world. And then they went, well, he's

1039
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,480
Speaker 1: actually written a book and it's been published and been

1040
00:56:02,480 --> 00:56:06,359
Speaker 1: distributed and he sold copies and we quite like it,

1041
00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 1: so maybe we'll work with him. But I just think that,

1042
00:56:09,960 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 1: you know, if an opportunity presents itself, if something comes along,

1043
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:17,319
Speaker 1: ace ace. But it's like even when you I don't

1044
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 1: even know what they are, but you told me about

1045
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 1: a couple of potential sponsors before, right, Well, the reason

1046
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 1: that they come along is because we've created a platform

1047
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,239
Speaker 1: that people want to be a part of. Yes, But

1048
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:35,200
Speaker 1: the opportunities only came because we fucking created this thing,

1049
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:40,319
Speaker 1: and we stuck around for six hundred episodes going backwards financially,

1050
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:44,279
Speaker 1: and then eventually, you know, something kicked in, which is

1051
00:56:44,320 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: really great. But if I just sat there on episode

1052
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:50,520
Speaker 1: five and went, well, I'm not doing any more episodes

1053
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 1: till I get a knock on the door with a

1054
00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:55,560
Speaker 1: sponsorship opportunity, it would have died eight years.

1055
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 2: Ago, exactly.

1056
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:58,920
Speaker 3: And the other thing with that is and maybe this

1057
00:56:59,080 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 3: is just my inner control freak, but I feel like

1058
00:57:03,040 --> 00:57:07,880
Speaker 3: when you create the opportunity yourself, right, you have a

1059
00:57:07,920 --> 00:57:11,359
Speaker 3: lot more ownership over what that looks like and what

1060
00:57:11,400 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 3: that involves.

1061
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 2: Whereas waiting for.

1062
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 3: Someone to come to you with something that fits perfectly

1063
00:57:17,360 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 3: and meets you know, all your desires, all of that

1064
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 3: not only is unlikely, but also you have less kind

1065
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:30,160
Speaker 3: of ability to, I guess, create that in the way

1066
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 3: that would suit you best.

1067
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 1: When you think about our collaboration with Nova, for which

1068
00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:40,480
Speaker 1: I'm very grateful, you know, they came to us because

1069
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 1: we already had lots of listeners. Yeah, they came to

1070
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 1: us because we were succeeding. We're going great. You know,

1071
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:49,160
Speaker 1: we went Joe Rogan, but we were going great. They

1072
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 1: came to us and it was win win.

1073
00:57:51,920 --> 00:57:55,080
Speaker 3: But part of the reason for that was because you

1074
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:58,960
Speaker 3: were able to develop a show in your style that

1075
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:01,960
Speaker 3: worked well for the way.

1076
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 2: That you deliver right.

1077
00:58:03,560 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 3: Had you initially been approached by a network that said

1078
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:10,080
Speaker 3: it has to be twenty minute episodes or thirty minute episodes,

1079
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 3: it has to be pre recorded in this, you know,

1080
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:16,160
Speaker 3: and heavily edited, and this is the track it needs

1081
00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:19,120
Speaker 3: to go down there's a fair chance that that would

1082
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 3: have never taken off because it wouldn't have been authentic

1083
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 3: to you and to your brand, and therefore it likely

1084
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:28,440
Speaker 3: wouldn't have even worked.

1085
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:31,959
Speaker 1: So one hundred percent, well, that would suck the big

1086
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:35,160
Speaker 1: fat one. And I would say no if I get

1087
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:39,120
Speaker 1: too technical, let me know everyone. But also I was

1088
00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:40,919
Speaker 1: going to say, which you kind of said. But even

1089
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 1: with Nova if noverg if, like today, we didn't ring

1090
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 1: nover and go by the way, we're doing a three

1091
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:51,080
Speaker 1: hour episode yep, because an never have no say in

1092
00:58:51,880 --> 00:58:54,439
Speaker 1: how many episodes I produce a week. I mean, maybe

1093
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:56,520
Speaker 1: a little bit, but that, But what I mean is

1094
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,480
Speaker 1: that's great. They are great for us, and novgo you're

1095
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 1: pretty good at this, So we'll get the fuck out

1096
00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 1: of the way, and Craig and Melissa and Tiff. What

1097
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 1: you'll do is you'll produce episodes, you'll get guests, you'll edit,

1098
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 1: and then you'll you'll load it. You'll do all that,

1099
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:12,600
Speaker 1: and we'll be over here trying to find you sponsors

1100
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:15,440
Speaker 1: and you know, brands that want to align with you

1101
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 1: and work with you. We'll do that. You produce the shows,

1102
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,320
Speaker 1: and we're like, well, fucking great, because you're good at

1103
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:23,439
Speaker 1: that and we're good at this. So you do your thing,

1104
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 1: we'll do our thing. You take this percentage, we'll take

1105
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 1: that percentage. Everybody happy, Yep, good, Let's go home perfect.

1106
00:59:30,160 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 1: You know, but that's that. But you know that is

1107
00:59:33,600 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 1: it was literally an opportunity that went both ways.

1108
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, and ways in which you can maximize speaking

1109
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:45,000
Speaker 3: of talent before you can maximize your skill set and

1110
00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 3: they can do what they're best at. And then together

1111
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 3: it is a partnership that works well for BOS parties.

1112
00:59:51,560 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 1: Let's do a few more. Let's go with the next

1113
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:57,880
Speaker 1: one on your list. Then we might skip one or two.

1114
00:59:57,880 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking, because oh we've been a while, I'm ready.

1115
01:00:03,760 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 2: Yes, I feel a bit bad saying this.

1116
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:10,240
Speaker 1: I know you do, but I'll quickly jump in the

1117
01:00:10,280 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 1: next one is you're not special? Now what I mean

1118
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: by that before you all start getting hurt and wringing

1119
01:00:15,640 --> 01:00:21,640
Speaker 1: your mum, you know, like, which is not to say

1120
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:25,160
Speaker 1: you can't do special things, or you're not special to someone,

1121
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 1: or it just means that they're This is my take.

1122
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:31,720
Speaker 1: And I could be wrong, you know how, I get

1123
01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:33,880
Speaker 1: things wrong all the time. I could be wrong, but

1124
01:00:33,960 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: I feel like there are a percentage of people who

1125
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 1: feel like they're special just because they were born. Yeah,

1126
01:00:39,520 --> 01:00:42,960
Speaker 1: and I don't know if you do the whole likelihood

1127
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,680
Speaker 1: of the egg meating the sperm and the probability and

1128
01:00:45,680 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 1: the numbers, Well, yeah maybe. But I'm not being a

1129
01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:52,439
Speaker 1: hard ass. I'm just saying, you know, in the sense

1130
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:54,800
Speaker 1: that I'm a human in a world with eight billion

1131
01:00:54,920 --> 01:00:59,680
Speaker 1: other humans, I'm not special. In fact, I'm incredibly fucking

1132
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 1: common because there's another eight billion of me. Now that

1133
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:05,760
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I can't do amazing or be amazing or

1134
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:08,800
Speaker 1: create great outcomes. It doesn't mean I can't be special

1135
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:11,680
Speaker 1: to people, and you can't be special to people. But

1136
01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 1: I think this kind of I'm special mindset actually fucks

1137
01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 1: up people.

1138
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 2: Yep.

1139
01:01:17,280 --> 01:01:20,920
Speaker 1: You know, you can have a special impact on people,

1140
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:24,040
Speaker 1: you can create special and spectacular outcomes, you can live

1141
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:27,440
Speaker 1: a special life. But that's not because you were born special.

1142
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:30,200
Speaker 1: That's because you did the work. But that's because you

1143
01:01:30,240 --> 01:01:32,680
Speaker 1: were brave. That's because you put on your big boy,

1144
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 1: big girl pants and you fucking rolled up your sleeves

1145
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:37,440
Speaker 1: and you had a crack. And now you're fucking doing

1146
01:01:37,520 --> 01:01:41,160
Speaker 1: special shit. Now you're helping people, serving people, or building

1147
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 1: a business, or building wealth, or creating an awesome health state,

1148
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:50,080
Speaker 1: you know. And I just think that while it's good

1149
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 1: to have good self esteem, you know, thinking that you

1150
01:01:55,160 --> 01:02:01,920
Speaker 1: are uniquely, fabulously special in an ocean of eight billion humans,

1151
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:04,680
Speaker 1: I don't actually think it's good for our drive, for

1152
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:08,880
Speaker 1: our motivation, for our long term outcomes. Now that's not

1153
01:02:09,200 --> 01:02:11,919
Speaker 1: I'm not special, that's not self loathing. By the way,

1154
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:17,640
Speaker 1: You're not bad. But you know, you're just like me,

1155
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 1: just a just another human doing life. And that's okay.

1156
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 1: And if I'm just another human doing life sounds hurtful,

1157
01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:29,440
Speaker 1: Well it's literally true. Now that doesn't mean that you

1158
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:32,240
Speaker 1: can't have a beautiful life with beautiful people and do

1159
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 1: amazing shit. But if we zoom out from the micro

1160
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:38,920
Speaker 1: of your existence and your day and your life and

1161
01:02:38,960 --> 01:02:43,120
Speaker 1: your body and your situation, if we zoom out to humanity,

1162
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 1: we zoom out to three hundred thousand years of evolution,

1163
01:02:48,240 --> 01:02:52,479
Speaker 1: we zoom out to eight billion humans on the planet. Well,

1164
01:02:53,480 --> 01:02:56,120
Speaker 1: fucking I'm a nobody. And by the way, when I die,

1165
01:02:56,160 --> 01:02:58,680
Speaker 1: I'll be forgotten about in seven minutes. And that's cool,

1166
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:01,920
Speaker 1: because that's that's how how it works. You know, we

1167
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:03,440
Speaker 1: come we live for a while. And I know this

1168
01:03:03,560 --> 01:03:06,400
Speaker 1: sounds what does it sound fatalistic? I don't mean that

1169
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:11,360
Speaker 1: because I think also maybe when we leave this mortal coil,

1170
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:14,720
Speaker 1: that's not the end. But that's another podcast. But I

1171
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 1: just think that having this a sense of entitlement that

1172
01:03:19,040 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: some people have and this I'm special. I don't create success.

1173
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 1: I deserve success. No, you don't. You go create it.

1174
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:32,439
Speaker 1: And if you do the work, and if you try

1175
01:03:32,480 --> 01:03:34,560
Speaker 1: hard enough for long enough, and you're brave enough, and

1176
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,560
Speaker 1: you invest in enough energy and you do the right things,

1177
01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 1: then you will create your own version of success. And

1178
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:45,240
Speaker 1: well done you, that's awesome. But I just think for me,

1179
01:03:45,440 --> 01:03:49,479
Speaker 1: and I probably clumsily articulated this, so I apologize as

1180
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 1: if it is clumsy and it seems insensitive. But I

1181
01:03:53,680 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 1: would just want to sometimes say to some people that

1182
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:58,200
Speaker 1: I'm talking to, Hey, bro, I like you, but you're

1183
01:03:58,240 --> 01:04:00,840
Speaker 1: not special. You're just to do it. It's just a

1184
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:03,440
Speaker 1: dude doing life. I'm a dude. I'm not special, You're

1185
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:05,920
Speaker 1: not special. Where the fuck do we all get this

1186
01:04:06,120 --> 01:04:09,480
Speaker 1: idea that where you know? And then if we tell

1187
01:04:09,520 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 1: people they're not, well, you're a prick. Oh you're harsh,

1188
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:15,960
Speaker 1: You're you're not you know, it's like, oh, you're hurting

1189
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:21,800
Speaker 1: people's mental health, am I Really? How about telling people

1190
01:04:22,200 --> 01:04:24,920
Speaker 1: all the time they're special and then they get out

1191
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 1: of the house with no resilience and no mental toughness

1192
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:32,280
Speaker 1: and no skills to deal with life, and life punches

1193
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:35,919
Speaker 1: them in the face a thousand fucking times because life

1194
01:04:35,960 --> 01:04:40,000
Speaker 1: doesn't care how special or unspecial they are. This is

1195
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:43,440
Speaker 1: my motive. I want you to be strong and powerful

1196
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:47,280
Speaker 1: and resilient and capable so you can go and build

1197
01:04:47,280 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 1: your best fucking life, not because you're innately special, but

1198
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:56,080
Speaker 1: because you use what you've got. Steps down, off soapbox.

1199
01:04:56,560 --> 01:05:01,120
Speaker 1: Let's do all right, what we'll do? Melissa? I was

1200
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:03,120
Speaker 1: going to do one more, but fuck it, it's the long

1201
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:06,280
Speaker 1: this podcast ever. Why don't you just I know we've

1202
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:09,520
Speaker 1: got a bunch ever, a bunch left, but what aren't you?

1203
01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:11,959
Speaker 1: And some of these are familiar themes on this show,

1204
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 1: but that's the point. Why don't you pick four more

1205
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:18,000
Speaker 1: that that resonate for you?

1206
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:18,800
Speaker 3: Ye?

1207
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,840
Speaker 1: And we'll I don't know what that's going to take

1208
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:24,440
Speaker 1: us up to, probably close to three hours or something ridiculous,

1209
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 1: But anyway, what do you want to go.

1210
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:28,440
Speaker 2: With the next one.

1211
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:32,120
Speaker 3: In keeping with the fact that this is AFL Grand

1212
01:05:32,160 --> 01:05:34,320
Speaker 3: Final week, we're going to we're going to keep going

1213
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:36,320
Speaker 3: with the list, and it's going to be be the

1214
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:37,360
Speaker 3: player and the coach.

1215
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:40,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, all right now I'm going to tell you,

1216
01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:43,240
Speaker 1: and you don't know this, we'll actually bypass this one.

1217
01:05:43,280 --> 01:05:46,080
Speaker 1: It's not your fault. But I'll quickly explain this because

1218
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:49,360
Speaker 1: Tiff and I essentially did this and it's my bad.

1219
01:05:49,560 --> 01:05:51,520
Speaker 1: So what that means being the player and the coach.

1220
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:55,360
Speaker 1: And there's an AFL analogy, as you are quite rightly

1221
01:05:55,400 --> 01:05:59,320
Speaker 1: pointed out. This weekend's the Grand Final in Melbourne. So

1222
01:05:59,480 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 1: it's like it's that river thing that we were talking

1223
01:06:03,400 --> 01:06:05,720
Speaker 1: about before. Everybody, it's like your life's the river. It's

1224
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:07,720
Speaker 1: got its own energy, and when you're in the river,

1225
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:11,080
Speaker 1: you can't have a level of objectivity and perspective that

1226
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:12,520
Speaker 1: you can have when you're out of the river. And

1227
01:06:12,560 --> 01:06:16,080
Speaker 1: this is analogous to being the player in the game.

1228
01:06:16,080 --> 01:06:19,120
Speaker 1: When you are always the player and you are always

1229
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 1: in the middle of the game, sometimes you need to

1230
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:24,080
Speaker 1: be able to step away from the game, which is

1231
01:06:24,120 --> 01:06:28,080
Speaker 1: why we have halftime. We have halftime in the game

1232
01:06:28,120 --> 01:06:30,160
Speaker 1: and quarter time and three quarter times, so we can

1233
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:33,480
Speaker 1: see what's happening, we can stop, we can take stock

1234
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:36,920
Speaker 1: of what's working and what's not. And so, yeah, I

1235
01:06:37,000 --> 01:06:40,200
Speaker 1: just won't replay that whole thing, Melissa, But that's you

1236
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:42,720
Speaker 1: want to know that. But yeah, that's a very similar

1237
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:44,040
Speaker 1: metaphor to the last one.

1238
01:06:44,480 --> 01:06:49,320
Speaker 3: Sure, Okay, next one then is get yourself an unreasonable friend.

1239
01:06:50,240 --> 01:06:53,280
Speaker 1: Okay, we've spoken about that. And for those who don't

1240
01:06:53,280 --> 01:06:55,800
Speaker 1: know what that term means to me, it means, and

1241
01:06:55,920 --> 01:07:00,000
Speaker 1: I teach an unreasonable friend is somebody that loves you,

1242
01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:03,280
Speaker 1: cares about you, but won't always tell you what you

1243
01:07:03,320 --> 01:07:06,360
Speaker 1: would like to hear. And they're coming from a place

1244
01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:10,000
Speaker 1: of love and kindness and from a level of perspective

1245
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:14,200
Speaker 1: and objectivity that you can't have about you because you're you.

1246
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 1: So that whole thing that you have in your head

1247
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:21,120
Speaker 1: about how objective you are and self aware you are, Yeah,

1248
01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:23,120
Speaker 1: probably not as much as you think. And that's not bad.

1249
01:07:23,160 --> 01:07:27,520
Speaker 1: That's human. And so and this is really hard, by

1250
01:07:27,560 --> 01:07:31,040
Speaker 1: the way, This is a hard thing. And people like

1251
01:07:31,200 --> 01:07:34,760
Speaker 1: people always nod their head when I share this, share

1252
01:07:34,760 --> 01:07:37,000
Speaker 1: about this in a seminar, They're like, oh, yeah, that's good.

1253
01:07:37,040 --> 01:07:40,160
Speaker 1: You know, because oh yeah, I love feedback. And as

1254
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:42,480
Speaker 1: I've said many times, yeah, we love feedback until it's

1255
01:07:42,480 --> 01:07:46,040
Speaker 1: feedback we don't love. And so yeah, it's like, yeah,

1256
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:48,120
Speaker 1: give me all the feedback, but only the good feedback

1257
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,160
Speaker 1: does make it great. And by the way, if it's

1258
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:52,800
Speaker 1: not good feedback, fuck you, you're not my friend. It's like, well,

1259
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:56,200
Speaker 1: that's what do you want? Well, I want praise. Oh okay,

1260
01:07:56,200 --> 01:07:58,080
Speaker 1: so you don't want feedback. I want praise. Cool, Well,

1261
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:00,440
Speaker 1: let me know. I just want to back rub fucking

1262
01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:05,920
Speaker 1: you know some streamers and shit like it's like, dude,

1263
01:08:06,400 --> 01:08:08,600
Speaker 1: you're fucking things up. I love you. I don't want

1264
01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:11,480
Speaker 1: you to fuck up. I don't have all the answers,

1265
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:14,280
Speaker 1: but I have a level of objectivity about you because

1266
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 1: I'm external. I'm from the outside looking in, and so

1267
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:20,240
Speaker 1: with that in mind, I want to share with you

1268
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:23,439
Speaker 1: what I am seeing. I'm sharing with you what I

1269
01:08:23,479 --> 01:08:26,200
Speaker 1: am seeing because I want to help you and I

1270
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:28,439
Speaker 1: want to give you insight to the thing that you

1271
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 1: can't see. And so an unreasonable friend is somebody that

1272
01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:36,080
Speaker 1: will tell you what you need to hear, or what

1273
01:08:36,120 --> 01:08:38,479
Speaker 1: they believe you need to hear, despite the fact that

1274
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:43,320
Speaker 1: you might not always love hearing it. And I guess

1275
01:08:43,320 --> 01:08:47,040
Speaker 1: a twice replayed example of this in the last week

1276
01:08:47,160 --> 01:08:49,920
Speaker 1: is when and I said this to you last week listener. So,

1277
01:08:50,080 --> 01:08:52,720
Speaker 1: but it's just a good example as when and She

1278
01:08:52,880 --> 01:08:54,719
Speaker 1: wasn't a friend, but she was a listener who wrote

1279
01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:57,439
Speaker 1: wrote in and said to me basically early days of

1280
01:08:57,479 --> 01:09:01,080
Speaker 1: the year project, you know, love the show, love you

1281
01:09:01,160 --> 01:09:04,320
Speaker 1: da da da da. Can you stop talking over the

1282
01:09:04,320 --> 01:09:07,479
Speaker 1: top of people? It's very annoying. And when I went

1283
01:09:07,600 --> 01:09:09,320
Speaker 1: back and I listened, I went, guess what I took

1284
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:11,400
Speaker 1: over the top of people. It's very fucking annoying. And

1285
01:09:11,400 --> 01:09:13,880
Speaker 1: do I ever still do that? Yes? Do I do

1286
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:17,439
Speaker 1: it less? Yes? But it's like, well, you know, here's

1287
01:09:17,439 --> 01:09:22,000
Speaker 1: the thing. It's very easy to react because we like

1288
01:09:22,040 --> 01:09:25,360
Speaker 1: to think we're all about logic and reason and rationale

1289
01:09:25,439 --> 01:09:29,120
Speaker 1: and the prefrontal cortex. We're intellects. No we're not. We're

1290
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:35,000
Speaker 1: fucking emotional Neanderthals. We're just fucking emotional Neanderthals who want

1291
01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:37,160
Speaker 1: to tell you to get fucked when we hear something

1292
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:40,760
Speaker 1: that makes us uncomfortable, right, that whole kind of Oh yeah,

1293
01:09:40,800 --> 01:09:44,040
Speaker 1: I'm bigger than this. No, No, we're not. We're often not.

1294
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:47,400
Speaker 1: And that's the thing is you think you want feedback,

1295
01:09:48,320 --> 01:09:51,960
Speaker 1: and I'm saying, actually, be open real feedback, and if

1296
01:09:51,960 --> 01:09:54,400
Speaker 1: it's coming from a hater who's just shitcanning you, well

1297
01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:56,960
Speaker 1: that ain't this, that's not what we're talking about. But

1298
01:09:57,920 --> 01:10:01,920
Speaker 1: you don't need constant endorsement. You don't need constant and validation.

1299
01:10:02,720 --> 01:10:04,720
Speaker 1: You don't need a cheer squad, you don't need a

1300
01:10:04,760 --> 01:10:07,400
Speaker 1: trophy every time you had a fucking salad. You're not

1301
01:10:07,439 --> 01:10:12,640
Speaker 1: six years old, like you need somebody to give you

1302
01:10:12,720 --> 01:10:14,360
Speaker 1: input that you can't give yourself.

1303
01:10:15,680 --> 01:10:18,960
Speaker 3: Do you have any kind of tips around that for

1304
01:10:19,320 --> 01:10:23,479
Speaker 3: selecting an unreasonable friend? That sounds quite strategic. I don't

1305
01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:26,280
Speaker 3: necessarily mean it that way, but I guess I'm thinking

1306
01:10:26,320 --> 01:10:31,519
Speaker 3: that sometimes we need to decipher between someone who's giving

1307
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:36,720
Speaker 3: genuine feedback that could be quite constructive, and someone that

1308
01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:39,439
Speaker 3: maybe could be in a way jealous of what.

1309
01:10:39,360 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 2: You're trying to achieve or need.

1310
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:45,439
Speaker 3: Or like the goals in some way that you're trying

1311
01:10:45,439 --> 01:10:48,680
Speaker 3: to aspire to may impact them in a sense, and

1312
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:50,360
Speaker 3: therefore they don't.

1313
01:10:50,640 --> 01:10:53,000
Speaker 2: Like the idea of doing well you're doing what you're doing.

1314
01:10:53,160 --> 01:10:55,920
Speaker 3: Is there any kind of I guess tips around selecting

1315
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,120
Speaker 3: that unreasonable friend.

1316
01:10:57,280 --> 01:11:02,240
Speaker 1: We'll call this Showisha Tips. So here tips. You're welcome.

1317
01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:04,439
Speaker 1: I was waiting for you to finish that so I

1318
01:11:04,439 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 1: could get that out.

1319
01:11:07,520 --> 01:11:09,280
Speaker 2: I could just see.

1320
01:11:09,800 --> 01:11:12,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, hurry up with your fucking monologue so I

1321
01:11:12,040 --> 01:11:16,720
Speaker 1: can say my stupid joke. No, it is a good question. Like,

1322
01:11:16,800 --> 01:11:18,880
Speaker 1: here's what I think. Truly, I think there are very

1323
01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:23,479
Speaker 1: few people who can do this for you, Like I

1324
01:11:23,479 --> 01:11:27,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't ask you yep, because you wouldn't tell me. You

1325
01:11:27,840 --> 01:11:31,400
Speaker 1: will give me, but hang on what I will say

1326
01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:33,920
Speaker 1: with you. Oh, actually that's not true. I think you

1327
01:11:34,000 --> 01:11:36,559
Speaker 1: couldn't have told me. But I think these days you

1328
01:11:36,600 --> 01:11:41,240
Speaker 1: are much closer to that. When I say to you, okay, honestly,

1329
01:11:42,320 --> 01:11:47,600
Speaker 1: and sometimes I'll write a post for I'll write a

1330
01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:51,760
Speaker 1: an Instagram post or whatever, and I'll share it with you,

1331
01:11:52,840 --> 01:11:55,240
Speaker 1: and you know, I'll say, don't tell me if it's good,

1332
01:11:55,240 --> 01:11:59,040
Speaker 1: if it's shit, and sometimes you'll say, yeah, it's not

1333
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:02,839
Speaker 1: my favorite, which if Melissa is like, that's fucking awful.

1334
01:12:02,960 --> 01:12:06,000
Speaker 1: Do not use that ever, right, But I know how

1335
01:12:06,040 --> 01:12:09,799
Speaker 1: to speak fluent Melissa, and I think times though.

1336
01:12:09,640 --> 01:12:13,760
Speaker 3: It also depends how Sorry, I just interrupted Jean, But

1337
01:12:13,800 --> 01:12:16,439
Speaker 3: I think it also depends how close I am to

1338
01:12:16,560 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 3: it as well, Like sometimes we both lack that objectivity

1339
01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:21,200
Speaker 3: because we're both.

1340
01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:27,920
Speaker 1: One hundred percent yeah, and I look and it look,

1341
01:12:28,040 --> 01:12:31,800
Speaker 1: I mean always, And the human experience is that I'm

1342
01:12:31,800 --> 01:12:33,919
Speaker 1: going to get stuff. Even if I'm giving you feedback

1343
01:12:33,960 --> 01:12:37,160
Speaker 1: that I think is spot on, bang on, relevant, helpful.

1344
01:12:37,439 --> 01:12:39,719
Speaker 1: I still could be wrong because I'm a fucking human.

1345
01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:44,759
Speaker 1: But I think you know that knowing that the person

1346
01:12:46,160 --> 01:12:50,160
Speaker 1: a genuinely wants the best for you, not yeah, you're right.

1347
01:12:50,200 --> 01:12:52,680
Speaker 1: I mean there are people that I mean, this is this,

1348
01:12:53,040 --> 01:12:55,040
Speaker 1: maybe I should have made this appoint but that you know,

1349
01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:58,479
Speaker 1: one of the most fascinating things I've learned about humans

1350
01:12:59,160 --> 01:13:03,080
Speaker 1: and an inverted friends And there's no self pity in

1351
01:13:03,120 --> 01:13:04,920
Speaker 1: this at all. I love my life and I've got

1352
01:13:04,920 --> 01:13:07,479
Speaker 1: great friends. But is the amount of people who were

1353
01:13:07,520 --> 01:13:13,200
Speaker 1: really bothered by my success that were close friends. I'm like, ah, oh,

1354
01:13:13,240 --> 01:13:16,280
Speaker 1: And I've had other friends, close friends of mine who

1355
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:20,439
Speaker 1: are fucking killing it and crushing it and honestly like

1356
01:13:20,960 --> 01:13:23,920
Speaker 1: so much further progressed and down the track and successful

1357
01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:26,760
Speaker 1: and all the bits or you know, the wealth of this,

1358
01:13:26,920 --> 01:13:33,160
Speaker 1: the brand and honestly, my one. I'm happy for them,

1359
01:13:33,200 --> 01:13:36,679
Speaker 1: genuinely happy for them, and I'm kind of proud of them.

1360
01:13:37,080 --> 01:13:39,320
Speaker 1: I'm kind of proud. I'm like, fuck, I knew you

1361
01:13:40,040 --> 01:13:44,000
Speaker 1: when you were not this, and look at you. I mean,

1362
01:13:44,720 --> 01:13:46,880
Speaker 1: I would be the biggest asshole in the world if

1363
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:49,360
Speaker 1: I'm talking about all of this, and then when someone

1364
01:13:49,360 --> 01:13:54,360
Speaker 1: that I allegedly love actually did it right, and then

1365
01:13:54,400 --> 01:13:56,920
Speaker 1: I was bothered, Well, you're just a fucking You're an

1366
01:13:56,960 --> 01:14:00,400
Speaker 1: actor playing a role, pretending to be about helping people,

1367
01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:05,040
Speaker 1: you know, But it's it is. It is tricky because

1368
01:14:05,040 --> 01:14:10,360
Speaker 1: the people that love you, they probably overthink and undersay sometimes,

1369
01:14:11,400 --> 01:14:12,960
Speaker 1: but also some of the people that love you can

1370
01:14:12,960 --> 01:14:14,519
Speaker 1: be a pain in the ass. I'm sure there are

1371
01:14:14,520 --> 01:14:18,080
Speaker 1: listeners right now going you haven't heard my mother fuckel.

1372
01:14:18,640 --> 01:14:23,880
Speaker 1: But you know, I think you've got to, like, there's

1373
01:14:23,920 --> 01:14:26,519
Speaker 1: no three point checklist, but I think you intuitively know.

1374
01:14:27,439 --> 01:14:29,800
Speaker 1: I think you intuitively know. Like there are people I

1375
01:14:29,840 --> 01:14:31,519
Speaker 1: won't say who, but there are people that I think

1376
01:14:31,560 --> 01:14:35,040
Speaker 1: about right now that for me, I'm pretty sure I

1377
01:14:35,080 --> 01:14:41,640
Speaker 1: would get a relatively unemotional objective as they see it,

1378
01:14:41,920 --> 01:14:46,280
Speaker 1: kind of feedback on things if I if I ask

1379
01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:48,760
Speaker 1: them but also I think it is equally important for

1380
01:14:48,880 --> 01:14:52,720
Speaker 1: that person to be able to say, hey, I think

1381
01:14:52,760 --> 01:14:56,400
Speaker 1: you're going fucking great. Actually I didn't even think that

1382
01:14:56,439 --> 01:15:00,720
Speaker 1: would work, but it's working. Go you. Yes, they're not

1383
01:15:00,800 --> 01:15:02,599
Speaker 1: just there to go I don't do that. I don't

1384
01:15:02,640 --> 01:15:05,760
Speaker 1: think that'll work. I don't think nah, they're also there

1385
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:09,439
Speaker 1: to go hey, but it's got to be real. I

1386
01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:13,160
Speaker 1: really think you're crushing it. I'm not saying this to

1387
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:16,920
Speaker 1: make you feel good. I'm aware that it will, hopefully,

1388
01:15:17,240 --> 01:15:20,680
Speaker 1: but it's not the reason, like, this is not a strategy.

1389
01:15:20,960 --> 01:15:23,920
Speaker 1: This is actually what I think. And when you can

1390
01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:28,680
Speaker 1: tell people like do you know what's funny is I

1391
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:32,240
Speaker 1: reckon twenty times this year someone that I know, different

1392
01:15:32,280 --> 01:15:35,479
Speaker 1: people that I know that are doing well, and I've

1393
01:15:35,520 --> 01:15:38,040
Speaker 1: just looked at them and I've gone, shut the fuck

1394
01:15:38,120 --> 01:15:39,840
Speaker 1: up for a minute, look at me, look at me,

1395
01:15:40,040 --> 01:15:43,760
Speaker 1: and I go, I'm really proud of you, And I say,

1396
01:15:43,800 --> 01:15:45,639
Speaker 1: I am not saying that to make you feel good,

1397
01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:49,240
Speaker 1: and more men than women, yep, just because it happened

1398
01:15:49,240 --> 01:15:52,880
Speaker 1: to be. Yes, I'm proud of you. I'm so fucking

1399
01:15:53,000 --> 01:15:55,880
Speaker 1: proud of you. I couldn't be happier for you, and

1400
01:15:55,960 --> 01:15:59,639
Speaker 1: I just fucking I love watching you grow. And half

1401
01:15:59,680 --> 01:16:03,240
Speaker 1: of them because they know I mean it, and they

1402
01:16:03,280 --> 01:16:06,280
Speaker 1: know there are not many other people that feel like

1403
01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:10,559
Speaker 1: that about their success. Yes, you know you feel like

1404
01:16:10,600 --> 01:16:13,400
Speaker 1: you've got to downplay your success sometimes.

1405
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:17,200
Speaker 2: Oh and particularly in Australian culture.

1406
01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:20,559
Speaker 1: Like when my and I'm know Bill Gates or whatever.

1407
01:16:20,640 --> 01:16:23,600
Speaker 1: But when my business started to work, you know, Harper's

1408
01:16:23,600 --> 01:16:27,160
Speaker 1: and the Pting and all the oh my god, the

1409
01:16:27,240 --> 01:16:30,759
Speaker 1: number of people that it bothered. I'm like, it bothered

1410
01:16:30,800 --> 01:16:35,400
Speaker 1: more people than it made happy. Let's just say that. Yeah,

1411
01:16:35,439 --> 01:16:37,920
Speaker 1: And I just knew I could tell, like, I'm like,

1412
01:16:38,120 --> 01:16:42,200
Speaker 1: but this, it's not even about you, Like you don't

1413
01:16:42,200 --> 01:16:44,439
Speaker 1: even do this, you don't even work in their space.

1414
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:48,200
Speaker 1: But fuck, it bothered people when the thing that a

1415
01:16:48,240 --> 01:16:50,120
Speaker 1: lot of them said wouldn't work or couldn't work, or

1416
01:16:50,120 --> 01:16:53,200
Speaker 1: there's no market or there's no scope, or the population

1417
01:16:53,320 --> 01:16:55,479
Speaker 1: is not big enough for it's not a thing. It'll

1418
01:16:55,479 --> 01:16:57,479
Speaker 1: come and go there. It's not even an industry, it's

1419
01:16:57,479 --> 01:16:59,519
Speaker 1: not a profession. And I'm like, yep, I get all

1420
01:16:59,560 --> 01:17:01,519
Speaker 1: of that, but I tell you what, I'll just see

1421
01:17:01,560 --> 01:17:05,000
Speaker 1: what happens. And then when it worked, fuck, nobody came

1422
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:08,760
Speaker 1: out of the woodwork and said I was wrong. Well done.

1423
01:17:09,000 --> 01:17:14,240
Speaker 1: That's fucking amazing, like nearly nobody, you know, And there's

1424
01:17:14,280 --> 01:17:17,360
Speaker 1: no self pity. That's literally just my story. So I

1425
01:17:17,360 --> 01:17:19,880
Speaker 1: think if you can have people that actually want you

1426
01:17:19,920 --> 01:17:23,400
Speaker 1: to succeed, and I think even for you, I mean

1427
01:17:23,439 --> 01:17:28,600
Speaker 1: you the listener, like I know for me, hand on heart,

1428
01:17:28,920 --> 01:17:32,400
Speaker 1: when I truly want the best for people, fuck, it

1429
01:17:32,479 --> 01:17:35,880
Speaker 1: makes me a better human. I'm happier, I'm nicer to

1430
01:17:35,920 --> 01:17:38,320
Speaker 1: be around, I'm less of a cunt. I'm going to

1431
01:17:38,360 --> 01:17:41,559
Speaker 1: say it. I'm going to say it out loud. It's

1432
01:17:41,640 --> 01:17:44,720
Speaker 1: like but and I know I oversay this, and I

1433
01:17:44,760 --> 01:17:46,760
Speaker 1: know it's cliche, and I know it's probably going to

1434
01:17:46,840 --> 01:17:50,200
Speaker 1: have little to no impact. But when you really despite

1435
01:17:50,240 --> 01:17:52,200
Speaker 1: all the logic and all the rationale and all the

1436
01:17:52,200 --> 01:17:54,960
Speaker 1: strategy and all the fucking nuance and all the clever words,

1437
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:58,599
Speaker 1: but when you truly come from a place of love

1438
01:17:58,680 --> 01:18:02,479
Speaker 1: with people like this is you know, I can't give

1439
01:18:02,520 --> 01:18:04,479
Speaker 1: you everything you need, but I can love you in

1440
01:18:04,520 --> 01:18:07,599
Speaker 1: this way. I can serve you, I can help you

1441
01:18:08,160 --> 01:18:12,759
Speaker 1: in this way. And no, this isn't necessarily romantic love

1442
01:18:12,880 --> 01:18:15,080
Speaker 1: or a cuddle or but this is love because this

1443
01:18:15,160 --> 01:18:20,599
Speaker 1: is me wanting to help you without wanting anything back

1444
01:18:20,640 --> 01:18:26,639
Speaker 1: from you. You know, I think that's transformational for both parties.

1445
01:18:27,520 --> 01:18:28,960
Speaker 1: Have you got one more you want to do?

1446
01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:31,680
Speaker 2: One? Final one we're going to go with.

1447
01:18:32,880 --> 01:18:35,840
Speaker 1: Have we told everyone that this is actually the last podcast?

1448
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:39,360
Speaker 1: We probably should have led with that. That's why it's

1449
01:18:39,360 --> 01:18:41,240
Speaker 1: so long. We want you to be sick of us.

1450
01:18:42,280 --> 01:18:44,920
Speaker 1: I will say, there won't be a podcast up tomorrow,

1451
01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:46,720
Speaker 1: maybe for the next two days, but I'm going to

1452
01:18:46,760 --> 01:18:48,320
Speaker 1: have a break, but this should keep you going for

1453
01:18:48,400 --> 01:18:48,759
Speaker 1: a while.

1454
01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:55,160
Speaker 2: Okay, final one for today? Can you please elaborate on

1455
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:58,200
Speaker 2: words are a sales pitch?

1456
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:01,640
Speaker 1: I probably should have said more accurately. Words can be

1457
01:19:01,680 --> 01:19:05,799
Speaker 1: a sales pitch. And as I've said a bunch of times,

1458
01:19:06,920 --> 01:19:09,640
Speaker 1: if you want to know someone, well, pay attention to

1459
01:19:09,680 --> 01:19:11,559
Speaker 1: some of what they say and all of what they do.

1460
01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:16,280
Speaker 1: So I think that not all the time, of course,

1461
01:19:16,320 --> 01:19:19,880
Speaker 1: but I think oftentimes with people what's coming out of

1462
01:19:19,880 --> 01:19:24,040
Speaker 1: their mouth is a story or some kind of sales

1463
01:19:24,080 --> 01:19:30,479
Speaker 1: pitch or some kind of attempt to build whatever, a

1464
01:19:30,479 --> 01:19:35,120
Speaker 1: connection or a and it's not necessarily authentic. It's quite strategic.

1465
01:19:36,920 --> 01:19:38,720
Speaker 1: And by the way, I don't think that's terrible. I

1466
01:19:38,720 --> 01:19:43,080
Speaker 1: think we all do that to an extent, but including me,

1467
01:19:43,760 --> 01:19:46,080
Speaker 1: including me, do I ever try to create a good impression,

1468
01:19:46,120 --> 01:19:50,240
Speaker 1: of course, of course. But what I think really matters

1469
01:19:50,240 --> 01:19:54,400
Speaker 1: if we really want to understand people is to pay

1470
01:19:54,439 --> 01:19:58,360
Speaker 1: attention to what they do and how they live, and

1471
01:19:58,560 --> 01:20:01,120
Speaker 1: you know, how they treat people when they don't think

1472
01:20:01,120 --> 01:20:05,200
Speaker 1: they're being watched, and you know, all that kind of ah,

1473
01:20:05,720 --> 01:20:08,760
Speaker 1: and not in a for me like people that I

1474
01:20:08,880 --> 01:20:10,920
Speaker 1: might be going to do some work with or people

1475
01:20:10,960 --> 01:20:13,120
Speaker 1: that i might be going to spend time with, or

1476
01:20:14,200 --> 01:20:17,320
Speaker 1: I'm not obsessed with that, but I'm just interested in

1477
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:20,479
Speaker 1: I'll tell you a few. I'll tell you this is

1478
01:20:20,479 --> 01:20:23,760
Speaker 1: a really classic. So there are people that I've quite

1479
01:20:24,040 --> 01:20:28,400
Speaker 1: liked or I've thought pretty highly of them, and I

1480
01:20:28,439 --> 01:20:30,559
Speaker 1: didn't know them well, but you know, and then I

1481
01:20:30,640 --> 01:20:33,640
Speaker 1: met them for a coffee and then they treated the

1482
01:20:34,040 --> 01:20:38,720
Speaker 1: weight staff like shit. Ye I'm like that's it. I'm like,

1483
01:20:38,760 --> 01:20:42,080
Speaker 1: you're out. I can't do it. Like they just treated

1484
01:20:42,120 --> 01:20:45,639
Speaker 1: them like they were not on the same level as

1485
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:51,040
Speaker 1: us to exemplary humans. And I thought, all right, I'll

1486
01:20:51,080 --> 01:20:53,240
Speaker 1: give you one, and then if it happens again, and

1487
01:20:53,240 --> 01:20:56,080
Speaker 1: then when it happens again, where they're either rude or

1488
01:20:56,200 --> 01:21:00,320
Speaker 1: arrogant or dismissive to the human that's coming to the

1489
01:21:00,479 --> 01:21:04,400
Speaker 1: table to serve them. I'm like, fuck you, bro, you're out.

1490
01:21:04,479 --> 01:21:06,000
Speaker 1: I don't care what the deal is. I don't care

1491
01:21:06,040 --> 01:21:08,040
Speaker 1: what the offer is. I don't want to work with you.

1492
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:11,000
Speaker 1: And what's funny is the whole kind of monologue that

1493
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:13,439
Speaker 1: they're going on with for an hour, the whole sales pitch,

1494
01:21:13,520 --> 01:21:16,920
Speaker 1: the whole kind of trying to create an impression. It's

1495
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:21,200
Speaker 1: all redundant because of something they had no awareness of. Yes,

1496
01:21:21,439 --> 01:21:24,160
Speaker 1: so all the words just fucking slide down the drain

1497
01:21:24,240 --> 01:21:26,560
Speaker 1: to me. Yeah, and I can't. I'm just trying to

1498
01:21:26,600 --> 01:21:29,400
Speaker 1: from that moment when they treat people like shit, I'm like,

1499
01:21:29,479 --> 01:21:31,360
Speaker 1: this is you, Yeah, this is you.

1500
01:21:31,600 --> 01:21:34,200
Speaker 3: Do you know what I also found that really apparent

1501
01:21:34,479 --> 01:21:38,799
Speaker 3: is when it comes to other team members or support

1502
01:21:38,920 --> 01:21:41,760
Speaker 3: stuff like the way they treat the receptionist or the

1503
01:21:41,760 --> 01:21:45,000
Speaker 3: PA or the somebody else in the team that may

1504
01:21:45,040 --> 01:21:47,920
Speaker 3: not hold the position of the person that they're meeting with.

1505
01:21:48,520 --> 01:21:51,640
Speaker 3: Everything from when they walk in the door and the

1506
01:21:51,680 --> 01:21:54,479
Speaker 3: whole demeanor changes when the person that they're meeting with,

1507
01:21:54,640 --> 01:21:55,960
Speaker 3: you know, when they're in front of them.

1508
01:21:56,400 --> 01:21:59,559
Speaker 2: Yeah. For me, it's just like, Okay, seen it enough?

1509
01:21:59,640 --> 01:22:05,000
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, I mean, look, you don't want

1510
01:22:05,000 --> 01:22:07,920
Speaker 1: to be too judge, right, yeah, but at the same time,

1511
01:22:07,960 --> 01:22:10,800
Speaker 1: you do want to be aware because what people do

1512
01:22:10,880 --> 01:22:13,680
Speaker 1: tells you a lot, what people do to you, how

1513
01:22:13,760 --> 01:22:17,160
Speaker 1: people treat you or don't treat you, what people kind

1514
01:22:17,200 --> 01:22:19,479
Speaker 1: of you know, their energy around you. And we don't

1515
01:22:19,520 --> 01:22:21,479
Speaker 1: need to be obsessed. And by the way, have I

1516
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:25,559
Speaker 1: ever been rude or fucking insensitive? Of course, of course.

1517
01:22:26,080 --> 01:22:28,280
Speaker 1: But I just think for us to be aware of

1518
01:22:28,280 --> 01:22:31,240
Speaker 1: that ourselves and our own behavior and the way that

1519
01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:34,960
Speaker 1: we treat people. It's like, am I nicer to people

1520
01:22:36,120 --> 01:22:39,880
Speaker 1: for whom it's valuable for me to be nicer too? Yes,

1521
01:22:40,040 --> 01:22:42,880
Speaker 1: that's a fucking good question. Yeah, because I don't want

1522
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:44,160
Speaker 1: to be that. I think I don't want to.

1523
01:22:44,160 --> 01:22:45,559
Speaker 2: Be That a great question.

1524
01:22:46,000 --> 01:22:48,479
Speaker 3: And even back to what you were saying initially, So

1525
01:22:48,560 --> 01:22:52,280
Speaker 3: words are a sales pitch, even my own words, like

1526
01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:56,320
Speaker 3: am I believing them? Like obviously I spend one hundred

1527
01:22:56,320 --> 01:22:58,680
Speaker 3: percent of my time with me, Like how much of

1528
01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:01,920
Speaker 3: what's coming out of my mouth is a reflection of

1529
01:23:02,439 --> 01:23:05,240
Speaker 3: me and what's actually going on?

1530
01:23:05,400 --> 01:23:08,160
Speaker 1: Ye? Do I believe this or do I just say it?

1531
01:23:08,360 --> 01:23:09,519
Speaker 2: Yeah? Does it sound good?

1532
01:23:10,400 --> 01:23:15,240
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, Hey everyone, we appreciate you, We love you.

1533
01:23:15,320 --> 01:23:19,080
Speaker 1: We are so happy that you've come on this journey

1534
01:23:19,080 --> 01:23:23,600
Speaker 1: with us. We'll probably do another episode, so, you know,

1535
01:23:23,680 --> 01:23:28,280
Speaker 1: hang around and for putting up with me and all

1536
01:23:28,280 --> 01:23:33,120
Speaker 1: my bullshit, my terrible jokes, my vulgar language, you know,

1537
01:23:33,320 --> 01:23:37,200
Speaker 1: my constant talk about shit and other bodily functions. But

1538
01:23:37,240 --> 01:23:39,960
Speaker 1: there's a small percentage of you who think I'm fucking great.

1539
01:23:40,600 --> 01:23:42,719
Speaker 1: What the fuck is wrong with you? But keep thinking

1540
01:23:42,760 --> 01:23:45,679
Speaker 1: that I'm very needy and for the rest of you,

1541
01:23:46,080 --> 01:23:48,559
Speaker 1: I don't know why you're still here, but also very

1542
01:23:48,600 --> 01:23:52,680
Speaker 1: grateful and very appreciative. Probably stick around for Tiff and

1543
01:23:52,720 --> 01:23:56,320
Speaker 1: maybe Melissa now. But yeah, thank you for helping us

1544
01:23:56,439 --> 01:23:59,240
Speaker 1: over the journey. And I would really encourage you to

1545
01:23:59,479 --> 01:24:03,080
Speaker 1: jump on our Facebook page and tell us that you

1546
01:24:03,120 --> 01:24:06,960
Speaker 1: want Melissa to be a regular and by that, look, okay,

1547
01:24:07,000 --> 01:24:09,439
Speaker 1: can we just negotiate. I know you don't want to

1548
01:24:09,479 --> 01:24:11,599
Speaker 1: bit fuck it while I've got you held ransom here

1549
01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:16,960
Speaker 1: while we're recording. How about one a month? Okay, one

1550
01:24:17,000 --> 01:24:20,400
Speaker 1: a month, and by one I mean one a week.

1551
01:24:22,280 --> 01:24:27,599
Speaker 1: Let's by one I mean three? All right? We'll talk

1552
01:24:27,640 --> 01:24:31,360
Speaker 1: about it. Thanks Melissa, thank you everybody. Thanks everyone,