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Speaker 1: Before we get into today's episode, a quick content warning.

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Speaker 1: We'll be talking openly about our personal experiences with eating disorders.

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Speaker 1: Please take care while listening and skip this episode if

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Speaker 1: it feels safer for you. And I always say like,

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Speaker 1: you would never tell a little girl that she doesn't

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Speaker 1: deserve that, so never tell yourself exactly she doesn't deserve.

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Speaker 2: I would never tell my little sister that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but why are you saying that to yourself?

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Speaker 3: Hi, guys, welcome back to Hot Than Yesterday and we

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Speaker 3: have a very very special guest on today's episode. We

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Speaker 3: have Stella rou Out of a Flaws, Stella Lily Dellicately

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Speaker 3: Delicate Lily.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I feel like Stella Lily sounds weird?

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Speaker 1: Is me? Is that your last name?

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Speaker 4: Lily?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? But my first name is actually Stellicate.

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Speaker 4: Oh Q.

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Speaker 1: I just like always do you know when you know people,

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Speaker 1: especially off Instagram, Like I always see that used name

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Speaker 1: when I watch your stuff. So I'm like, that's your name,

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Speaker 1: like Stella Kate Lily. Yeah, I didn't I think that.

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Speaker 4: I thought Lily was your middle name. Oh really?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Because like also can be a first day ye

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Speaker 1: three first names. Yeah, that's a flex. I would i'd

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Speaker 1: flex that. But yeah, we have Stella on today's episode.

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Speaker 1: We met each other a few years ago, didn't we.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say like two years ago maybe.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: We met each other in two at two rungs. Actually

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Speaker 1: at an event. I'm pretty sure it was the reptile

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Speaker 1: event that got canceled like on the internet, and we

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Speaker 1: were like, get us away from all the reptiles, like,

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Speaker 1: don't go near the reptiles.

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Speaker 4: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: All I remember is we drank a whole bottle of

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Speaker 2: this like lemon.

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Speaker 1: Uzoo, yeah stuff. And do you know why I really

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Speaker 1: remembered you, guys, is because your teeth were glowing in the.

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Speaker 4: Dark, because.

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Speaker 1: And that's how I really remember you, because you were like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've got veneers, and that's when I was about like

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Speaker 1: thinking about getting veneers. So now both our teeth will go, oh.

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Speaker 2: My god, we need to go to the club.

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Speaker 1: We need to run it back clop. But yeah, today

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Speaker 1: we have Stellar on today's episode. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you guys have followed her on socials. If not, you

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Speaker 1: should be. I love your content, I like watch it

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Speaker 1: all the time. But she has been so open about

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Speaker 1: her journey in boxing, her fitness journey, her eating disorder journey,

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Speaker 1: and I think we're just all going to dive into

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Speaker 1: that in a really open chat today. I know a

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Speaker 1: lot of girls always message me about recovery and getting

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Speaker 1: yourself out of a slump, and I feel like you

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Speaker 1: have a really inspiring story that a lot of girls

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Speaker 1: should hear, So.

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Speaker 4: We're gonna I agree.

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Speaker 5: And I think it's hard as well to like message

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Speaker 5: all the girls back because like it's such a deep

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Speaker 5: topic yeah and talk about, and it's so personal to

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Speaker 5: each person.

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Speaker 1: So I definitely think on this like podcast, I want

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Speaker 1: to get more people to speak about their journey and

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Speaker 1: how they came overcame it because I.

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Speaker 4: Think it will touch everyone in a different way.

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Speaker 5: Definitely, especially girls, Like I don't know one girl that

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Speaker 5: hasn't struggled with like some type of eating disorder one.

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Speaker 1: Hundred percent, Especially in like the society that we're living

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Speaker 1: in is like everything is so like you shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: able to see yourself. Humans weren't desired to ever look

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Speaker 1: at themselves, like see what they look like. Like we

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Speaker 1: were never meant to.

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Speaker 4: Know, no, like just meant to have mirrors.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 4: I would love that same.

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Speaker 1: I would love that, but then again, our jobs are

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Speaker 1: like taking motos of ourselves, so it is a really

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Speaker 1: it's a double red sword. But you're originally from New Zealand,

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Speaker 1: aren't you, So tell us a little bit about how

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Speaker 1: you grew up, like your background of you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm originally from New Zealand. I lived there basically

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Speaker 5: my whole life. I would say my childhood was. I

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Speaker 5: feel like it's hard because I feel like I was

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Speaker 5: privileged in ways, like I had good school, good education,

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Speaker 5: like at a house, I always had a roof over

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Speaker 5: my head, and like all the basic necessities. But I

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Speaker 5: feel like overall, like I didn't have the best childhood experience.

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Speaker 5: Like when I look at my upbringing, it's all negative

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Speaker 5: in my opinion.

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Speaker 1: In what way would you say, I would say, I

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Speaker 1: don't know.

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Speaker 5: It's there's so many different layers, and I think that

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Speaker 5: from like a very early age, even like I experienced bullying,

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Speaker 5: and then I started with my eating disorder, and then

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Speaker 5: like my mom's whole life because my mom did social

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Speaker 5: media when she still does social media, but when I

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Speaker 5: was younger, she was I don't know, like a New

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Speaker 5: Zealand mum influencer. Yeah, and she kind of started in

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Speaker 5: the fitness space. So I think from like a very

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Speaker 5: young age, I was like.

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Speaker 1: Influenced negatively, not even negatively because it's probably not the

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Speaker 1: right way to say, but you I think when you

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Speaker 1: maybe grow up in that, and I can kind of

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Speaker 1: relate in that.

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Speaker 4: My dad was a.

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Speaker 1: Pe teacher and I grew up around boys, and it

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Speaker 1: was very sport related and very performance space, so you

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Speaker 1: kind of stopped looking at yourself as an individual and

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Speaker 1: kind of seeing yourself as a physical thing. And how

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Speaker 1: you look physically is almost how successful.

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Speaker 4: You're going to be.

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Speaker 1: And maybe because your mum was in front of the

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Speaker 1: camera all the time, like we experience now, like your

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Speaker 1: physical appearance is kind of goes on like one how

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Speaker 1: successful you are going to be, and like how you

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Speaker 1: determine yourself and your self worth. So growing up like

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Speaker 1: that from like a young girl would probably be really hard.

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Speaker 1: And having your mom, like who you look up to,

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Speaker 1: also being in that scene. Not that she was necessarily

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Speaker 1: forcing that upon you, it's just kind of innately how

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Speaker 1: we be.

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Speaker 4: Exposed to that as well.

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Speaker 5: And like I also feel terrible talking about it sometimes

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Speaker 5: because I never want to put the blame on her,

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Speaker 5: because I also understand that she was young because my

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Speaker 5: mum had me at seventeen, so like she was young,

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Speaker 5: and obviously I couldn't imagine being like twenty yeah, twenty

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Speaker 5: five with like a seven year old kid, yeah, or like,

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Speaker 5: so like I also understand that she would have experienced

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Speaker 5: what we've experienced as well, yeah, and unintentionally put it.

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Speaker 1: And I don't think there was a lot of education

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Speaker 1: when our parents are raising us about these things and

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Speaker 1: things that we should be careful with. Like I always

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Speaker 1: say that our kids of our generation are going to

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Speaker 1: be so much more woke to these problems because we

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Speaker 1: really experienced it and we have seen the effects of

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Speaker 1: social media. So I think our kids are going to

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Speaker 1: be a lot more educated on it, and hopefully it's

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Speaker 1: going to be prevented a little bit more because I

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Speaker 1: think we are the result of like fad diets and

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Speaker 1: yo yo diets and stuff like that, of how to

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Speaker 1: get skinny really quickly, because that was like the thing

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Speaker 1: of the eighties and the nineties, so that just like.

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Speaker 2: Rung like a whole new thing.

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Speaker 5: I completely forgot about like all the diet things that

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Speaker 5: like we were exposed to as teenagers.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, and especially our parents, like that was all that

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Speaker 1: they were. They grew up on, so they weren't to

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Speaker 1: know anything else.

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Speaker 5: I know, and even growing up in like the whole

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Speaker 5: Kate Moss, Yeah like that, I feel like it's a

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Speaker 5: little bit.

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Speaker 4: Worse back then as well.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, or like I just have in my head like

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Speaker 5: Yolanda had like telling to like chew a few almonds

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Speaker 5: and she'll be fine when she's like on the brink

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Speaker 5: of passing out, and I'm like, just go get a

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Speaker 5: fucking burger.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I lot of swear, Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Please honestly swear all as much as you are. But

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Speaker 1: so what made you move then to Melbourne?

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Speaker 5: I would honestly say I was just like struggling so much.

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Speaker 5: I'm a big believer in like you can't grow in

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Speaker 5: an environment.

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Speaker 4: That you've outgrown.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so I was just really needing change. I think

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Speaker 5: New Zealand's very small, everyone's very closed minded, and yeah,

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Speaker 5: I just really need to get out of that environment

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Speaker 5: because at the time I was in and out of

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Speaker 5: hospital A lot and a lot of it was to do.

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Speaker 2: With my eating disorder.

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Speaker 5: But I think I was very ashamed to like admit

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Speaker 5: that the problems I was having was because of what

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Speaker 5: I was doing. Yeah, so I'd go into the hospital

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Speaker 5: all the time with like intense stomach pains, like I

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Speaker 5: don't even know what was going on. And then I'd

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Speaker 5: be thinking that it was like I don't know all

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Speaker 5: these different ill when deep down I knew it was

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Speaker 5: because I was like hurting my body every day.

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Speaker 1: So when would you say that you're eating disorder started

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Speaker 1: to become a big part of your life or started

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Speaker 1: to impact your life.

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Speaker 5: I would say, honestly, when I was like twelve years older,

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Speaker 5: I think, oh shit, yeah, I think I became aware

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Speaker 5: of it even younger. Like I was never allowed like

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Speaker 5: at school. You obviously kids have like packets of chips

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Speaker 5: or like musley bars or like a little treat, and

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Speaker 5: like I was never allowed that. It was always like

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Speaker 5: a sandwich, yogatting fruit, and obviously that's great. Like, but

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Speaker 5: like as a kid, when you're seeing other kids, they

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Speaker 5: get like a packet of oreos or something like, I

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Speaker 5: never got that, And so I think when I got that,

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Speaker 5: like I would consume copious amounts of it. I even

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Speaker 5: remember we never had any types of like sweet treats

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Speaker 5: in the house, so I'd eat packets of fondant because

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Speaker 5: that's all like baking chocolate chips.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because baking chocolate chips.

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Speaker 5: Because I'm like, I literally like I don't get it,

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Speaker 5: So like, yeah, you're obviously gonna overconsume it when you.

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Speaker 1: Do get it. So you moved over to Melbourne when

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Speaker 1: you were twenty, and would you say that you're eating

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Speaker 1: was still pretty bad?

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I moved to Brisbane first, and I think I got

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Speaker 5: my own apartment. Yeah, and I feel like it's a blessing,

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Speaker 5: but it's also like a curse getting your own place

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Speaker 5: when you're struggling with an eating disorder, because it you

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Speaker 5: don't have anyone around you.

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Speaker 1: That is kind of like holding you accountableity.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: So i'd say I feel like they come in waves. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: like it's always up and down.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So you lived in your apartment in Brisbane and you

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Speaker 1: were alone. How was that all for you?

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Speaker 5: Well, I look back and I'm like, holy shit, like

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Speaker 5: you were so skinny. Yeah, and yeah, I just think

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Speaker 5: like it was not a good time in my life

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Speaker 5: and I didn't really do anything about it. I think

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Speaker 5: that's what's most fucked up about an eating disorder as well,

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Speaker 5: Like it's you know that it's so bad and like

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Speaker 5: it's so unhealthy, but like you're so addicted to it.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, it's an addiction. It's an addiction

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Speaker 1: to food, but it's in the opposite way. Also, I

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Speaker 1: want to give you guys a little bit of a

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Speaker 1: preface that like we're speaking about our experiences and we're

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Speaker 1: telling you, guys, this is like the worst time about life,

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Speaker 1: Like don't be like this, don't know, but where we're

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Speaker 1: speaking about how Sally got out of the trenches and

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Speaker 1: how you overcame this because you're way happier how you

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Speaker 1: are now.

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Speaker 5: I would literally you wouldn't. I'd do anything but go

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Speaker 5: back to that place.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I hope. So yeah, you look so much happier.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, how did that all go? And then what

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Speaker 1: made you come to Melbourne? Like give us the whole

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Speaker 1: the rundown.

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Speaker 5: Well, I actually went from Brisbane to Europe. Yeah, and

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Speaker 5: then I went traveling there for a little bit and

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Speaker 5: with one of my exes and then we broke up.

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Speaker 5: So then I came back to the Gold Coast. I

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Speaker 5: stayed there for a couple of months and then I decided,

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Speaker 5: like I need to like go on a solo or

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Speaker 5: like I need to do something because like I need

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Speaker 5: to stop relying on people or like always needing someone there.

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Speaker 5: So I went to Bali for like five weeks or something,

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Speaker 5: and I think my eating just sort of started getting

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Speaker 5: worse again, yeah, because like I'm on my own and

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Speaker 5: I feel like it's always been there, like I've always

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Speaker 5: maybe like in between, I've had like a couple of

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Speaker 5: weeks where like I haven't done anything or like it's

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Speaker 5: been good or like I can eat like.

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Speaker 4: Three meals a day and be fine.

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Speaker 5: But being in Bali I think was really hard because

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Speaker 5: being in a foreign country is scary.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, especially alone when you don't really know anyone.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: This was in twenty twenty three, and I actually gained

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Speaker 5: a bit of weight when I was in Bali because

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Speaker 5: I was just like fucking eating so much food. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and yeah, like I was like happy, but like at

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Speaker 5: the same time, I think it was like a comfort thing.

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Speaker 5: And then I went to Thailand after that for a

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Speaker 5: couple of weeks and it just got to a point

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Speaker 5: where like I was just so homesick that I was

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Speaker 5: meant to go back to Bali. When I was on

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Speaker 5: the tarmac trying to go back to Bali. I just

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Speaker 5: booked a flight that day to go back to New

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Speaker 5: Zealand to see my family because I was like, oh

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Speaker 5: my god, like I've been in my own thoughts and

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Speaker 5: in my brain for like eight weeks, like I like

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Speaker 5: physically I need some like human interaction.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't do this anymore.

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Speaker 5: No, And like I didn't put myself out there really

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Speaker 5: in Bali because I was like I don't want to

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Speaker 5: go out and drink. I don't want to like I

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Speaker 5: don't want to talk to anyone, Like I don't know

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Speaker 5: what I want to do.

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Speaker 4: But it's definitely not that.

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Speaker 5: And then when I came to Melbourne, I met someone

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Speaker 5: and my eating disorder kind of got bad again. After

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Speaker 5: it was like it was bad already, but it just

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Speaker 5: kind of got worse. And it wasn't until like the

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Speaker 5: end of last year when I think I was like

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Speaker 5: the skinniest like I've ever been, and I was like

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Speaker 5: I literally like can't live.

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Speaker 2: Like this anymore.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think any amount of therapy could help

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Speaker 5: me get out of this mindset.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And what was it for you?

292
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Speaker 4: Was it like how you look?

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Speaker 1: Is that like the biggest thing was like that the

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Speaker 1: main driver for you as to why you were doing

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Speaker 1: this to yourself, is because you wanted to look a

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Speaker 1: certain way or was it almost a form of punishment.

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Speaker 2: I think it was both.

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Speaker 5: I think it was equal parts punishment and equal parts

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Speaker 5: how I wanted to look. But I think as well,

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Speaker 5: when it gets to how you look, you set like

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Speaker 5: a weight that you want to get to or how

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Speaker 5: you want to look, and then you get to that

303
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Speaker 5: and you're still not satisfied. Yeah, and so it just

304
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Speaker 5: keeps getting worse and worse and worse, and it's just

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Speaker 5: so hard to ever come out of that.

306
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Speaker 2: Or if it be like happy with how you.

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Speaker 1: Look, yeah, and then you probably use that as like

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Speaker 1: you're like your escape and then also you disassociate in

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Speaker 1: a way.

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Speaker 5: And then when I was also like very unhappy in

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Speaker 5: my everyday life as well, so it was kind of

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Speaker 5: like the only thing that gave me a dopamine rush.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you know.

314
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's so fucked that our brains are kind

315
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Speaker 1: of almost trained to.

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Speaker 4: Get like that.

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Speaker 1: I know. Oh, it's horrible, and it is such a

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Speaker 1: toxic cycle. And especially like you were, probably you were

319
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Speaker 1: in a relationship at that time that your loved ones

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00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:14,960
Speaker 1: around you also get to a point where they can't

321
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Speaker 1: even control you, and it's like they don't want to

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Speaker 1: say anything because you'll probably get mad at them, You'll

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Speaker 1: have a goal with them because you are so comfortable

324
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Speaker 1: around those people that they don't end up saying anything

325
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,640
Speaker 1: and holding you accountable anymore because like they don't want

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Speaker 1: to upset you. And then they just like almost not

327
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,200
Speaker 1: in not to their fault, but they end up validating

328
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Speaker 1: those behaviors because they don't know what to say to

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Speaker 1: you anymore. And then you end up being quite a

330
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Speaker 1: difficult person to be around because there's no energy in you.

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Speaker 1: There's no food in you, so you've got no emotion.

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Speaker 5: And even like I look back and I'm like, I

333
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,440
Speaker 5: don't know how Like some people didn't even say anything,

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Speaker 5: Like I remember, like my mom never even said like,

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00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,080
Speaker 5: oh my god, like Stella you okay, Like because like

336
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Speaker 5: if that was me. Every time I see someone, I

337
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,600
Speaker 5: feel like, once you've had an eating disor, it's really

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Speaker 5: easy to spot someone else that has an eating disorder.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I say, it's like a sixth sense, it is, yeah.

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Speaker 5: And like I always see girls online and everyone's like,

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Speaker 5: oh my god, like what's your workout routine?

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Speaker 4: Like what are you eating?

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Speaker 5: And I'm like, babe, look at her stomach. There's absolutely

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Speaker 5: nothing in there, yea, Like you can just tell that,

345
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,920
Speaker 5: like there is no workout routine, there is no meal plan,

346
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Speaker 5: there's no what I eat in a day.

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Speaker 1: No, because there is nothing there. There's nothing to show you,

348
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Speaker 1: there's no content to be able to be contrued, so

349
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Speaker 1: a hundred percent and it's just And what do you

350
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Speaker 1: think about those type of videos like the what I

351
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Speaker 1: eat in the days?

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Speaker 5: And I feel like I'm guilty because I have probably

353
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Speaker 5: posted one of them when I was struggling, Yeah, and

354
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Speaker 5: I lied about what I was eating, Yeah, because like

355
00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:47,200
Speaker 5: people were asking me, what are you eating? So I'm

356
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Speaker 5: gonna put more than what I eat because I'm not

357
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Speaker 5: gonna I don't want you to eat less, yeah, what

358
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Speaker 5: I'm eating because I don't want them to have an

359
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Speaker 5: eating disorder.

360
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Speaker 4: Which makes it more lack of like subconsciously you know

361
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,440
Speaker 4: you're doing the wrong because exactly, Yeah, I feel like

362
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,040
Speaker 4: a fraud.

363
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that the like the eating that what

364
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:10,240
Speaker 1: I eat in the day culture is such a foreign

365
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:16,000
Speaker 1: concept to me because I'm like, no matter what, if

366
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 1: I ate the same thing as you, I'm not going

367
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:21,600
Speaker 1: to here, and especially when they do body checks before it. Oh,

368
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:26,280
Speaker 1: I know you're not doing that for a reason, Like

369
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Speaker 1: what it doesn't make any sense to.

370
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:31,360
Speaker 5: Me neither, But like even like the workout routine and

371
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,880
Speaker 5: you can lie, like you can show that you've eaten

372
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,320
Speaker 5: all of this, but like you could go and eat

373
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 5: more or like like you literally can't trust what these people,

374
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,480
Speaker 5: what people are saying online about what they eat and

375
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:41,000
Speaker 5: what they do.

376
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Speaker 1: So what was the turning point for you?

377
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:52,200
Speaker 5: The turning point for me would be I would say

378
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:57,240
Speaker 5: the end of last year. I just remember. I specifically

379
00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 5: remember the point because it's I was like over the

380
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,919
Speaker 5: toilet bowl and I was like, I don't know, I

381
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,359
Speaker 5: was like I need to go to therapy or like

382
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 5: I need to get help or something, because.

383
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,760
Speaker 1: Like your quality of life is yeah, like I.

384
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:17,040
Speaker 2: Do want to live, yeah, you know, And then I

385
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:20,240
Speaker 2: went to therapy. I obviously I think a lot of

386
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,040
Speaker 2: people have a bad idea of therapy.

387
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:26,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, And obviously therapy is not going to work after

388
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,240
Speaker 5: one session, like it's probably not going to work after

389
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:33,480
Speaker 5: five sessions. But I think that over time, looking back,

390
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 5: like it's definitely helped and influenced my brain slowly.

391
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 2: To like, yeah, rewire how I think?

392
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, But I.

393
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,600
Speaker 2: Also think like you need to want to get better

394
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:45,000
Speaker 2: as well.

395
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, you hit rock bottom and you're like, that's it.

396
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 1: I need help. But I'm going to therapy. And what

397
00:17:51,359 --> 00:17:52,640
Speaker 1: did that look like for you?

398
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:57,600
Speaker 5: Well, honestly, I can't even remember. I feel like a

399
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,159
Speaker 5: lot of the lines are very blurred.

400
00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I went to a.

401
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:05,040
Speaker 5: Couple therapy sessions, and then I think at the time,

402
00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:08,399
Speaker 5: I followed a whole bunch of like boxing places, and

403
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:12,200
Speaker 5: one two Boxing reached out to me and asked me

404
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,320
Speaker 5: if I wanted to join a class or try a

405
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,440
Speaker 5: class out, and I was like, yeah, like I would

406
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,000
Speaker 5: love to, And so I went into the session and

407
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 5: then after one session, I was like, oh my god,

408
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 5: like this is amazing, Like I have dopamine hit from

409
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:29,480
Speaker 5: this from hitting It's the truth though.

410
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:30,200
Speaker 2: So good.

411
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 5: And then I went to a couple more sessions and

412
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,399
Speaker 5: then I was like, holy shit, Like I think like

413
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 5: I could actually make a career. Like I feel like

414
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:40,919
Speaker 5: I was never passionate about anything. I never had anything

415
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,360
Speaker 5: that was like mine. I feel like everyone has something,

416
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,080
Speaker 5: whether they're good at sports or like they're smart or

417
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,359
Speaker 5: they know what they're doing for their career, but I

418
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:51,359
Speaker 5: never felt that I had that, And with boxing, it

419
00:18:51,359 --> 00:18:53,159
Speaker 5: felt like it was the first thing that like I

420
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 5: actually enjoyed and that I could stick to.

421
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 2: So I asked.

422
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,880
Speaker 5: If they did like fight training, and then I kept

423
00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:05,920
Speaker 5: going to more sessions, and then I was like, Okay,

424
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,440
Speaker 5: like I think I want to be like a professional

425
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,400
Speaker 5: boxer or like I want to try. But then I

426
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,920
Speaker 5: was like, you can't achieve that if you are doing

427
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,919
Speaker 5: this to your body. Yeah, Like if you want to

428
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:19,320
Speaker 5: be an athlete, you cannot be vomiting up your food.

429
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 5: You cannot be missing meals, you can't be under eating,

430
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 5: you can't be damaging your body because like you need

431
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,679
Speaker 5: it to perform. So I think boxing was probably the

432
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,640
Speaker 5: one thing that helped me the most to recover and

433
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,040
Speaker 5: want to actually try and get better.

434
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 2: And it's honestly like the best thing ever.

435
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:42,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I remember I had joined one two Boxing

436
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 1: in July last year or Dune July last year, and

437
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 1: I had become very good friends with one of the

438
00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 1: owners called Josh. You've made good friends with like Verity

439
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:53,560
Speaker 1: and all of the other trainers, and like.

440
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 4: A few girls you got really close.

441
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:57,480
Speaker 1: With, and you see each other all the time, and

442
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 1: you end up talking and stuff like that, and I

443
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,439
Speaker 1: remember you started coming in and obviously because you were

444
00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,640
Speaker 1: kind of another influencer, I'm obviously gonna know who you are.

445
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and we already knew each other prize.

446
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I was like, oh, like a connections made.

447
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:11,359
Speaker 1: And I was speaking to Josh one day and he

448
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, she wants to be a fighter, like

449
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 1: she wants to take this stuff seriously. And I was like,

450
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,399
Speaker 1: I just remember like looking at you, was it like

451
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,399
Speaker 1: a click for you saying like I now need to

452
00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: eat for performance. Yeah.

453
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, and like, don't get me wrong in the time,

454
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,600
Speaker 5: like I've had sloped up so many times, because again,

455
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 5: like it never goes away, but definitely like it has

456
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 5: improved so much. And I think I look at food

457
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,479
Speaker 5: as fuel, which is so like cliche, but genuinely, like

458
00:20:38,359 --> 00:20:41,239
Speaker 5: everything I eat, I try and think about how it's

459
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 5: gonna make me feel, because like as well, everyone I

460
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 5: feel who has an eating disorder has like trigger foods.

461
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I try.

462
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,199
Speaker 5: And not stick away from them, but like I know

463
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:56,120
Speaker 5: what will cause a binge and like what won't, So like, yeah,

464
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,439
Speaker 5: obviously I want to try and avoid a binge because

465
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 5: it's just not gonna be good. But I think I

466
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,280
Speaker 5: have a much bit of view on food, but I

467
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 5: obviously will never go away.

468
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 2: And I feel like, as well, I know about you.

469
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 5: But when I used to drink a lot like that

470
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 5: would also trigger my eating disorder a lot because I

471
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 5: would think about how you've got to eat your three

472
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,240
Speaker 5: meals a day, or like you've got to eat, but

473
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 5: then you're also going to.

474
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 2: Drink which has calories in it, you know.

475
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 1: I talk about this a couple of weeks ago on

476
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:25,400
Speaker 1: the podcast. I always said, like I feel like I'm

477
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: at a pretty good place, and like, yeah, there's ebbs and

478
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,480
Speaker 1: flows and again you go through the motions of that,

479
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,120
Speaker 1: but I always find it really win In a day

480
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:38,000
Speaker 1: that I know I'm drinking, I struggle. I think my

481
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 1: biggest problem is the year, and I struggle to be spontaneous.

482
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,400
Speaker 1: That's something because like when you go through recovery, and

483
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: no matter if you've ever struggled with eating or if

484
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 1: you haven't, you should be eating three meals a day.

485
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 4: That's a normal fucking thing to do. And I feel

486
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:53,919
Speaker 4: like it's.

487
00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 1: Gotten normal and every like the way we talk about

488
00:21:56,760 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 1: things it's normal to like skip stuff and oh yeah,

489
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 1: I was like even today when I just said, I

490
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,800
Speaker 1: was like I was at a shoot all day before this.

491
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 1: It's like four o'clock now, and like I should have

492
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 1: eaten breakfast, like and I know all of those things

493
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,159
Speaker 1: and like the day can completely get away from you,

494
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,120
Speaker 1: but like that is not a good thing.

495
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,000
Speaker 4: I now know I'm in.

496
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 1: A better place because I'm not rewarding myself that I've

497
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,960
Speaker 1: done that. I'm like, you fucked yourself, because I know

498
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: I'm also going to go drink tonight and I'm like

499
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 1: I need to eat something before I go out. And

500
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,359
Speaker 1: that's how I know that I'm in a better place

501
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 1: than what I was, because I used to like back

502
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: in the day, I would have been happy that I've

503
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: done this, but it's like, I know I'm going to

504
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,440
Speaker 1: feel so shit tomorrow.

505
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 5: And even going off like this spontaneous thing like say

506
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 5: your plans your day and like you've had your breakfast

507
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 5: and then you've had like a little lunch and then

508
00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,399
Speaker 5: in the afternoon, like your friends like, let's go for

509
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,640
Speaker 5: a drink and I'm like, no, yeah, I'm not going

510
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 5: for a drink. I've been in breakfast and lunch, like

511
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,840
Speaker 5: there's no fucking way I'm drinking. Yeah, Like I haven't

512
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,359
Speaker 5: fit this into my eating schedule. Yeah, because I'm not

513
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,879
Speaker 5: going to eat in the morning lunch if I know

514
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 5: I'm going to drink in the afternoon.

515
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:03,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that's why. But it's like I want to

516
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,719
Speaker 1: get to the point and I love the people, and

517
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 1: it's about pushing through that. And then it's like when

518
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it is a really nice day, it

519
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,680
Speaker 1: is really nice weather, Like, go for the fucking drink.

520
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 1: And when I start to think about the things, and

521
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,960
Speaker 1: especially girls that like you struggle with this too, because

522
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,120
Speaker 1: a lot of girls messaged me after that episode. It's

523
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: like as soon as you have that thought of like

524
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 1: I should, like I haven't fit that into my schedule,

525
00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 1: that's when you go and have the drink.

526
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:30,160
Speaker 4: Not because like you want to go.

527
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,919
Speaker 1: Get pasted off your face, but it's like pushing past

528
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:33,920
Speaker 1: that that have.

529
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 5: To be comfortable with being uncomfortable. And I think my

530
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:39,159
Speaker 5: biggest thing when I went to therapy was that I

531
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,119
Speaker 5: hated the feeling of being full because it made me

532
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 5: feel like I'd gained weight. Yes, and then I just

533
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 5: had to get over the uncomfortableness and yeah, slowly but surely,

534
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,000
Speaker 5: like you get comfortable with it. Yeah, and like just

535
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:54,480
Speaker 5: because you feel full, you haven't gained any weight, like baby,

536
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 5: you're just floated. You just had a meal, like it

537
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 5: actually meant to feel full.

538
00:23:58,240 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 1: Yes, that's like kind of like the yes. And it's

539
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 1: like literally every time I have like a negative thought

540
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,159
Speaker 1: and something that I shouldn't be doing, I have to

541
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 1: counteract that where it's like, oh I don't want that cookie,

542
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: I don't need it.

543
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 4: It's like, no, eat that cookie now.

544
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,080
Speaker 1: Or like it have that Aperol spirits, like it's literally

545
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 1: in Aperol spirits, like and I all, it's so fucking

546
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 1: that I can't actually can't wait for one this afternoon.

547
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:23,720
Speaker 1: But it is the fact of like you have to

548
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,719
Speaker 1: counteract everything and you have to push that thought because

549
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 1: you're never gonna overcome it.

550
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 5: I think as well, like I've had girl like friends

551
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 5: in my life who also had eating disorders, and I

552
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 5: think it was really hard to have people in your

553
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:45,159
Speaker 5: life that expressing and showing their eating disorder and you

554
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 5: can clearly see it while you also have an eating disorder,

555
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,360
Speaker 5: because eating disorders.

556
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,919
Speaker 4: Are very competitive.

557
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,520
Speaker 2: Yes, without even words, don't need to be said.

558
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 5: But like I think having people in your life who

559
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,879
Speaker 5: don't struggle with food noise is like so beneficial. Like

560
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:06,200
Speaker 5: even at boxing, like Verity and Zara, I always see

561
00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 5: them eating their meals and like I think subconsciously like

562
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,360
Speaker 5: that helped me. Knowing that they eat normally and they

563
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 5: have a healthier from what I can see. Not saying

564
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 5: because I don't know if they struggle or not, but

565
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 5: like from what I can see them training and then

566
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,240
Speaker 5: also eating like subconsciously helped me.

567
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,439
Speaker 4: You feel like you need to.

568
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I always said that, Like Easy was one

569
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 1: of the best people to have come in my life

570
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 1: for that reason because she was, like I feel like

571
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 1: past her she'd just get the pasta and then like

572
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 1: sometimes she didn't sick and think it no, and then

573
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 1: she didn't think about like what she wasn't having for

574
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: dinner because she had passed for lunch. Like being around

575
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 1: those people who intuitive eat and just like eat because

576
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: they need to.

577
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:50,919
Speaker 2: They're jealous of those people.

578
00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's so good being around that, and it's

579
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,479
Speaker 1: refreshing to being around people who always think about it

580
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 1: and speak about it and stuff like that. Like, but

581
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 1: I want.

582
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 5: To to a point where like I can just intuitively

583
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,240
Speaker 5: eat and like you can have like a cookie, but

584
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 5: like you just eat it until you're like satisfied, Like

585
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 5: you don't finish the whole cookie just because like you've

586
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 5: got a whole cookie.

587
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 4: In front of you. My housemate does it, and it

588
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 4: blows my mind.

589
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 5: But it's like also sims from your childhood, you know,

590
00:26:15,200 --> 00:26:17,679
Speaker 5: like yeah, I was never taught how to intuitively eat,

591
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 5: Like yeah, it was always restrictions around everything.

592
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. Mine was like you're finished eating when your plate's empty. Yeah,

593
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 1: And I was like I could have been like exploding

594
00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,479
Speaker 1: fullness or I still could have been hungry, but like

595
00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,360
Speaker 1: that's when it was done. And I think that's where

596
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:34,679
Speaker 1: I'm out of, Like I don't know what I crave anymore, no.

597
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 5: Literally, or like say when you're a kid and you're

598
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 5: hungry and your mom's like, no, you're not, but it's like, yes,

599
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 5: I am, Like I'm fucking hungry, Like can I have

600
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 5: something to eat? No, wait till lunch or like wait

601
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 5: till dinner, And it's like but I'm like you're ignoring

602
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,160
Speaker 5: your cues from such a young age that now we're

603
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 5: like adults. How do you navigate back to getting in

604
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 5: tune with your body.

605
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, how would you say you are now and where

606
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:00,919
Speaker 1: you are now? And like how it's changed your life

607
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,719
Speaker 1: from almost giving into those that toxic pattern.

608
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 5: Well, I would say food doesn't consume my every thought anymore.

609
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 5: It's still there, but it definitely doesn't take over my

610
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 5: whole life. Like I can genuinely focus on other tasks,

611
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 5: Like I have better relationships with people, I can work,

612
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 5: I can concentrate, I can I actually have hobbies now,

613
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 5: because I feel like I didn't really have that before

614
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:31,440
Speaker 5: because my only hobby was fucking eating food or thinking

615
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:31,960
Speaker 5: about it.

616
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 2: I think that negatively though.

617
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:40,560
Speaker 5: I I don't know if you're the same, but obviously

618
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 5: damaging your body for so many years, I'm gonna have

619
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 5: lifelong problems because of it. Like I remember I was

620
00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:54,119
Speaker 5: nauseous like every single day for like six years because

621
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 5: I'm like hurting my body. Yeah, and if you're consecutively

622
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 5: doing that, it's going to take literally like ten years

623
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 5: to heal your body from that. Yeah, And you don't

624
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 5: realize because you're like, oh, like I'll just do this once,

625
00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 5: like once, it's not.

626
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:13,679
Speaker 2: Gonna hurt, and then you get addicted to it.

627
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 5: And you you're over and over and over again, and

628
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,360
Speaker 5: before you know, it's been ten years and you've been

629
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 5: doing that to your body. And yeah, without even knowing,

630
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 5: you're damaging everything inside of you.

631
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think people don't realize that as like

632
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,159
Speaker 1: the internal damages that you're doing to your body.

633
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 4: It can be like I can't see it, nah, and.

634
00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:34,919
Speaker 1: Just because you can't see it, everyone like kind of

635
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:36,080
Speaker 1: turns a blind eye to it.

636
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's.

637
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 1: Like I still struggle every single day. Like, yes, there's

638
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: a big thing of like yeah, physically I'm restored, like

639
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:46,239
Speaker 1: I'm out of healthy weight and everything like that, but

640
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 1: like I still don't get my period regularly. I can't

641
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,880
Speaker 1: remember the last time I got it regularly. Like that

642
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 1: means it's probably gonna affect my fertility. What aesthetic?

643
00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 5: Yeah literally, and even like all my bones hurt, like

644
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 5: my joints hurt, right, Yeah, like my I feel like

645
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 5: I've got kidney pains sometimes, like my like everything like

646
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 5: my organs were like screaming for help. Yeah, and like

647
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 5: they don't just get better overnight like that takes like

648
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:17,360
Speaker 5: years of healing this issue. When you have moments where

649
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 5: you slip up again, like you're reversing it again.

650
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, So and what would you say that it's like

651
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: the biggest thing that helps you day today.

652
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 5: My biggest thing is, well, I know what I want

653
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 5: to do, so I want to be a professional boxer.

654
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 5: And that's genuinely like the only thing that stops me. Yeah,

655
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 5: because I'm like every time I do it, I'm delaying

656
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 5: the process. Yeah, I'm taking like a step back. So yeah,

657
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 5: I honestly try boxing. You might like it might honestly

658
00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 5: help you find a.

659
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 1: Hobby, find something that you're super super passionate about it.

660
00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 5: And like if you don't know what you want to

661
00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 5: try or what your hobby is, go do anything, like

662
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 5: you you could try one thing and it could be start.

663
00:29:57,920 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: Of your recovery.

664
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 1: Yeah. But like I've even seen such a flip in you,

665
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 1: like as someone who's followed you for a few years,

666
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: Like you have life in your face, Like your skin

667
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,560
Speaker 1: is now glowing, Like you you change your full job,

668
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,880
Speaker 1: like now you do like you're a boxing coach, and

669
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: like now you do like.

670
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 4: Fight Cam, you like openly get punched in the face

671
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 4: and she's.

672
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 2: Like it's also me actually so fun do but you.

673
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 5: Have such a beautiful phase but like that's okay, it's

674
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 5: okay that no, because you just don't ever had like

675
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:28,640
Speaker 5: a black eye or something.

676
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 4: No, I No, I haven't.

677
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 5: Actually I'm just too good joking, I'm not too good.

678
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 5: But seriously, you just gotta protect. You just gotta get better,

679
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 5: Like you just gotta get your defense up.

680
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:45,200
Speaker 1: Nah, like she openly wants to get punched in the

681
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 1: fucking face.

682
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 5: Well, actually, surprisingly it gets It's worse getting hit in

683
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 5: your body like.

684
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:54,480
Speaker 2: I had we story. No, seriously, like your body.

685
00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 5: If you hit okay, if you have been a fight,

686
00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:00,080
Speaker 5: if you're even a street fight, okay, aim for the

687
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 5: side of their body.

688
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 2: That is where their liver is.

689
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 5: If you hit it in the right spot, they're going down. Okay, okay,

690
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 5: likes because.

691
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: I always thought, normally, go for the growing because nine

692
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: times I definitely would be punching a man.

693
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 4: No, go for the liver.

694
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,280
Speaker 2: Go for the balls, and then go for the liver.

695
00:31:16,480 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 1: Okay, but twist the balls the perfect big girl.

696
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 5: But I had sparring maybe, like I think it was

697
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:28,120
Speaker 5: like two months ago, and like the week before I

698
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 5: had like a spiral of my eating disorder and my

699
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 5: sparring partner Elana, He's also my best friend. She got

700
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 5: me in my liver or like no, she got me

701
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 5: right here, and like that's like obviously your stomach is

702
00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:46,720
Speaker 5: one small shot. And I had instant tears, and I

703
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:49,719
Speaker 5: was like, this is like absolutely the most fucked up

704
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 5: pain I've ever felt my whole life.

705
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 2: Probably was because.

706
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 5: Like I obviously went backwards, but I was like, I like, Sally,

707
00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 5: you like can't do this, Like yeah, if you want

708
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 5: to be a professional fighter, someone gonna hit you a

709
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 5: hundred times harder than that, and like you're you're disadvantaging yourself.

710
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 1: Yeah by doing that, And so what's this whole when's

711
00:32:10,720 --> 00:32:12,880
Speaker 1: this professional fight happening? When am I gonna have to

712
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:16,920
Speaker 1: make a poster? And like April, like it's actually like

713
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 1: locked in.

714
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 5: Yeah, well there's the show is in April, and I'm

715
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:24,040
Speaker 5: ninety nine percent on.

716
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 1: It, fuck me, broh. And so you have to go

717
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,200
Speaker 1: like through fight camp and stuff like that, yeah, like

718
00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: walk through people. If you guys haven't watched like the

719
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 1: Fite documentaries and stuff on Netflix, like I definitely would

720
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: watch it even if you're not even interested in boxing.

721
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: The dedication that you have to have to this type

722
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:42,520
Speaker 1: of sport is next fucking level.

723
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like either level or you hate it.

724
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to really fuck but like it's so interesting.

725
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 5: It is so interesting, and the whole concept of boxing

726
00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 5: is hilarious, Like there's a proper technique on how to

727
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:56,920
Speaker 5: hit someone.

728
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, like this, like that's like an art.

729
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 5: When I first started, like I genuinely thought it was

730
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 5: sparring was hilarious because like you're wearing like the head gear,

731
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 5: You've got a fucking guard on.

732
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 1: Your Yeah, you're growing, you look like a bit of

733
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: a sumo fighter.

734
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 5: I've got a mouth guarden, you've got your gloves on,

735
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:14,800
Speaker 5: and like it's actually I thought it was so funny

736
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 5: and then I got hit in the stomach.

737
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: And I anymore perfect perfect. So run people through what

738
00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,960
Speaker 1: sparring looks like, and then what a fight camp looks like,

739
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 1: because you'll have to go through that soon.

740
00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

741
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 5: Well, sparring is basically like a fight, but not one

742
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:36,080
Speaker 5: hundred percent power, and it's more you're more learning, Like

743
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:39,320
Speaker 5: it's more technical. It's like it's a fight, but it's

744
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:41,520
Speaker 5: not a fight, and like you don't you can go

745
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,360
Speaker 5: one hundred percent, but it's more about helping the other person,

746
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 5: Like you kind of help each other move and whatever,

747
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:51,000
Speaker 5: because working on like a boxing bag is completely different

748
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 5: like a person moving.

749
00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: Especially because they don't have arms. It's probably hitting.

750
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,280
Speaker 5: You back literally, but it's actually like crazy because I

751
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 5: don't know about you, but when you did boxing, like

752
00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 5: you actually have to be so present.

753
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 2: Yes, like it is like actually insane.

754
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: And that's the thing is like I always used to

755
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 1: cry in boxing because same there's something about the room

756
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,360
Speaker 1: in South Melbourne that just like you just want to

757
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 1: cry and also like.

758
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:17,800
Speaker 4: You're already dying.

759
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:19,719
Speaker 5: And then they're like like he's like yelling at you

760
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,719
Speaker 5: to keep going, and it's like, oh, well, actually like

761
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 5: I can't, but it's so.

762
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: Good walking in there because it's like you have to

763
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 1: remember all the combos and everything.

764
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 4: I really need to get back there, but like you need.

765
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 1: To remember all the combos and everything and what you're

766
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,280
Speaker 1: doing that it's like you actually don't.

767
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,040
Speaker 4: It's like the one time where my brain switches off

768
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:37,080
Speaker 4: and I don't think about.

769
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,560
Speaker 2: Anyone else and then for some reason, all these emotions go. Yeah.

770
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,920
Speaker 1: I think that's because like I'm fighting crying and I'm fighting.

771
00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:44,920
Speaker 2: And you're fighting up and then I'm like punching.

772
00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's coming out. And then I sat

773
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 1: bowling my eyes out, like the amount of times the

774
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: coaches have seen me cry, Oh my god, same, it's diabolic.

775
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 5: I mean I feel embarrassed because I'm like, you're a

776
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,920
Speaker 5: little bit like, yeah, crying.

777
00:34:57,640 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 4: Like they're just asking you to do one, two, three, four.

778
00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 1: Five, not asking you.

779
00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:05,839
Speaker 2: Like this is a really hard But.

780
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's not even hard, but it's I think

781
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 1: it's because it tells you to be so present and.

782
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,080
Speaker 2: Living a new hit so much with an eating disorder,

783
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 2: it's like actually.

784
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:19,359
Speaker 1: Crazy, Yeah, and because you don't have anything, like there's

785
00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 1: actually no capacity to think about anything else. So then

786
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 1: you're present. And then my biggest feet is being present.

787
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:28,240
Speaker 1: So that's probably why I start pulling my eyes out.

788
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 2: Literally, I'm not used to this.

789
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would cry at least like once a week there.

790
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

791
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:39,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, poor people like today you did I need to

792
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 4: cry today?

793
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:46,200
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, to go, Yeah, describe to the room. I've

794
00:35:46,239 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 1: got the keys. Literally walk us into what fight camp

795
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: looks like, because that is next level.

796
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, fight camp is like eight weeks before your fight.

797
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 5: You obviously are not allowed to drink, You're allowed to

798
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 5: do anything you SPA three times a week. You train

799
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 5: every day. Basically you're on a diet. You either have to.

800
00:36:09,760 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 2: This is I think this is where it's going to

801
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 2: fuck me.

802
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 5: Is where like you obviously in boxing, you have to

803
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 5: fight at a certain weight, so usually you fight two

804
00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 5: to three kg's below your walkaround weight, right, So I

805
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,520
Speaker 5: think where I'm going to struggle is when I know

806
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 5: what I'm going to fight at to not get carried

807
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 5: away in my head and go lower, you know.

808
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, So there's this thing and you guys might have

809
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,719
Speaker 1: seen it on like press conferences and stuff with like

810
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 1: Jake Paul's fights. Like I'm just trying to like keep

811
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,480
Speaker 1: it relevant to everybody else who's not into it. But

812
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:40,800
Speaker 1: you have to make weight.

813
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,120
Speaker 4: They have to make weight.

814
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 1: So but you can't be under.

815
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 5: You can be a little bit under, but like you're

816
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 5: obviously you don't want to because otherwise you lose your strength.

817
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so the other person has to be the

818
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 1: same weight as the same weight and is it like

819
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,560
Speaker 1: did they have a buffering room or not?

820
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 4: Really?

821
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there's a little bit of move around,

822
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 2: but like, honestly, not much. I think maybe five undergrams.

823
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe that can like what you can do then

824
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,880
Speaker 1: is like you have your coach knowing your way, but

825
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:08,440
Speaker 1: you don't know.

826
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think as well, like you you have

827
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:12,840
Speaker 2: like a most.

828
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:15,200
Speaker 5: People get like a dietician as well, so like it's

829
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,719
Speaker 5: all done like safely, and you're obviously you have to eat,

830
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 5: like you've got a fight. Like I don't want to

831
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 5: get in the ring and like be helpless and defenseless

832
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 5: and like to the point where like I do have

833
00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,000
Speaker 5: no energy, Like why did I even do this?

834
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 4: Yeah?

835
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 1: I always think of like when I think of like

836
00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: those girls, I'm like leave Toronto and live Kelly.

837
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 2: Oh.

838
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,319
Speaker 1: I Like if I ever started in a fucking ring

839
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:37,560
Speaker 1: with them, I would think I would walk in the

840
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 1: other direction. Yeah.

841
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 4: Do you know who your opponent is?

842
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 5: You don't find out until like you kind of start

843
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 5: fight camp, right, Yeah.

844
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:48,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so nervous for you, but I'm so excited. No,

845
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 1: don't be nervous, okay, because I was.

846
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:54,759
Speaker 5: My goal was to fight in November because my coach

847
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 5: has one in November, and he's very much like he

848
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 5: won't he doesn't give comp from and ever because like

849
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:06,400
Speaker 5: boxing is so serious, like they've seen people die inspiring.

850
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, like you have to be so careful. It's not

851
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 4: a fun little no way.

852
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 5: And so like he's he is not going to put

853
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 5: you in there if he doesn't think that you're capable

854
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:17,960
Speaker 5: of like holding yourself.

855
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 2: So I trust him.

856
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, And what he said like you need to hold

857
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:21,919
Speaker 1: off and.

858
00:38:22,080 --> 00:38:24,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, and he literally said, like Sally, like you need

859
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:26,040
Speaker 5: to put on some weight.

860
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:28,279
Speaker 2: And then he asked me last week what my weight was,

861
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 2: and I said.

862
00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 5: You literally told me to put on way and I have,

863
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:33,320
Speaker 5: but I put on like fucking akg's or something.

864
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 4: Wow. That's amazing though.

865
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 1: So now that you've come so far in everything that

866
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 1: you're doing, what would you say to your younger self

867
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: a few years.

868
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 4: Ago when you were in the trenches.

869
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 5: Literally, I feel like everyone says this, but like it

870
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:51,080
Speaker 5: genuinely does get better. Yeah, Like things will get better

871
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,840
Speaker 5: sooner rather than later, no matter how long it takes

872
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 5: you to like go through those trenches.

873
00:38:57,239 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 1: I always say, like, you gained a few heroes, and

874
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 1: you gained some weight, but look at what else you've gained.

875
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:08,240
Speaker 1: You've gained life, You've gained friends, You've gained a social life,

876
00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 1: Like you get to go out with your friends and

877
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: enjoy it. Like you've gained so much more and the

878
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 1: second you try to do it, you'll lose everything, Like

879
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,279
Speaker 1: you can lose that at a question like.

880
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 2: How many things have you skipped?

881
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:24,279
Speaker 5: Because like I didn't want to eat something, They're like

882
00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,200
Speaker 5: you know that it's around food or drinks.

883
00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 1: And I always say, like, you would never tell a

884
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 1: little girl that she doesn't deserve that, so never tell

885
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:32,760
Speaker 1: yourself exactly she doesn't deserve.

886
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 2: I would never tell my little sister that.

887
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, not so like, why are you saying that to yourself?

888
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 2: Because she was my older sister, she would tell me

889
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 2: the same.

890
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then I always like another thing I always

891
00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: remind me of myself of is like when you're sixty

892
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 1: years old looking back at memories, you're not gonna sit

893
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: there and be like, oh, I'm so glad I didn't

894
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 1: eat that burger out for dinner. You're gonna be like,

895
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, remember that time when I was out

896
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:56,800
Speaker 1: for dinner with all my friends we shared meals and

897
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 1: amazing memorais because I.

898
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,439
Speaker 5: Should be enjoyed, like it's something that like everyone gets

899
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 5: together around food or drinks, like it's like a celebration thing,

900
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 5: Like it shouldn't be like I hate that it's used

901
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:12,560
Speaker 5: for like control or like it's literally a normal fucking thing,

902
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 5: like we have to eat, like you have to eat.

903
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 5: There's bigger problems that we should be worrying about. Ye been,

904
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 5: like oh my god, like I've eaten so much today.

905
00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:26,440
Speaker 1: And what's now since you've been in your recovery journey,

906
00:40:26,520 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: what has been your favorite food now? Like what's your

907
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 1: favorite thing that you're like, fuck this? As if I

908
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: didn't eat this for.

909
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 5: I would say like any type of like burgage, burgers, fries, pizza,

910
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 5: like anything that people consider like unhealthy in moderation, it's

911
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:47,200
Speaker 5: literally fine, Like you can eat a burger however many

912
00:40:47,239 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 5: times you want, Like.

913
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 2: There's no fucking problem.

914
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,759
Speaker 5: No, like as long as like you're eating like a

915
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 5: balanced diet and like you're eating enough and you're obviously

916
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,399
Speaker 5: not eating a burger three times a day every day

917
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:01,840
Speaker 5: of the week, like you're fine.

918
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,600
Speaker 1: One berg is not going to kill you, no way,

919
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 1: One berger every second day is not going to kill you. No.

920
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 4: A pizza is not going to kill you. And you're

921
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:14,800
Speaker 4: obsessed with Dubai because you fucking post it everywhere. You

922
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 4: love Dubai Strawberry.

923
00:41:16,560 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 1: Yes, I thought that's what you're going to say.

924
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:23,080
Speaker 5: Yeah, but like I probably would have eaten them, okay, yeah,

925
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 5: but like I wouldn't have eaten like a burger.

926
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:27,000
Speaker 2: I'd get like a fucking littuce bum.

927
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 1: Get unless you're fucking Celiac eat it. Yeah, grilleds that's

928
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 1: my death Royal.

929
00:41:37,120 --> 00:41:39,400
Speaker 2: Oh my god, have Greek Street.

930
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:40,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, fucking street street.

931
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:46,280
Speaker 2: Getting sugar in your coffee again, syrups like so much better.

932
00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 2: Everything is just better.

933
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: Life is better.

934
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:50,919
Speaker 2: Life is better when you're eating whatever you want.

935
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much Stella for coming on hotter

936
00:41:57,360 --> 00:41:57,960
Speaker 1: than yesterday.

937
00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 4: I really love chatting.

938
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: I've loved it too, And make sure you guys are

939
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 1: following Stella on all her socials to see her like

940
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 1: get punched in the face.

941
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:06,480
Speaker 2: Really.

942
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 1: Locked in, and I'll be at your flight to support

943
00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: you really big post.

944
00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 4: Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Hopefully

945
00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:14,600
Speaker 4: I'm still in.

946
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 1: The country because you never know with me, just be

947
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 1: gone here, there and everywhere. But thank you so.

948
00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:23,439
Speaker 4: Much for coming on. Really appreciate it, and I'll see

949
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:24,239
Speaker 4: you guys next week.