Speaker 1: I get a team. It's another installment of the new Project,
Speaker 1: of course it is. That's why you press play. Tiffany
Speaker 1: and Cook and doctor Lillian Narde and me Fatty Harps
Speaker 1: in the flannel shirt in the middle of this particular screen.
Speaker 1: Where am I on your screen? Tiff middle bottom, top
Speaker 1: and left right.
Speaker 2: And speak of you, so you're like, boom, you're the
Speaker 2: big one, and then everyone else just sits up in a.
Speaker 3: Row up top.
Speaker 1: I never have that. I like to be able to
Speaker 1: see what everyone's face is doing in the middle of
Speaker 1: the chat.
Speaker 3: I like that too. Greg. I've got you on the left, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: Jef's on the bartom.
Speaker 1: I got you on the right, and Tip on the left,
Speaker 1: So a little horizontal grab. We'll start with Cook. How
Speaker 1: are you.
Speaker 3: I'm very good. Thanks, Happy Monday?
Speaker 1: Yeah, happy Monday. Happy? Did you Oh you didn't see
Speaker 1: the old man because he's in another state. Did you
Speaker 1: give him a virtual cuddle or did you call him?
Speaker 1: Or what did you do?
Speaker 2: Both of the above? I gave him a virtual cuddle
Speaker 2: and then I gave him a call.
Speaker 1: How is the old bugger?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: He's good, he's good. He's got some good stuff on.
Speaker 1: Sy Yeah, well, it's dad now seventy four.
Speaker 2: You know how I get stuck on aug So he's
Speaker 2: been seventy one for bad for years now. My brother
Speaker 2: stayed at forty six for a banded dicad.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's funny. My kids had me stuck on
Speaker 3: forty for like eight years. I don't know how that happened,
Speaker 3: but I was like super psyched about it.
Speaker 1: That's probably because you were telling him constantly I'm forty.
Speaker 3: No I wasn't. Oh not really, No didn't come. No,
Speaker 3: didn't come for me. They just, I don't know, mathematically talented.
Speaker 3: But then my my husband was turning fifty and my
Speaker 3: son came up to me in an earshot of my
Speaker 3: husband and was like, Mom, why did you marry such
Speaker 3: an old man? Oh?
Speaker 1: That is hilarious.
Speaker 3: My husband did not like that, and so he told
Speaker 3: everyone my age and I was like, why did you
Speaker 3: have to do?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, do you think? Oh? I know, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to ask it. I'm going to ask one
Speaker 1: question because I know it's your show today, doctor Lilian
Speaker 1: as the host today, be brief, do you think women
Speaker 1: are more likely to lie about their age than dudes? Okay,
Speaker 1: I thought I knew the answer. I just didn't want
Speaker 1: to be presumptuous.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I think it's Societally, women have not been
Speaker 3: allowed to age, you know, and still be acceptable and
Speaker 3: visible and you know, seen as. I don't know, like
Speaker 3: I think that's changing, but I think that women were
Speaker 3: conditioned to try to stay and young and pretend that
Speaker 3: they were younger to other people, just so that they
Speaker 3: could still be relevant, which is sad, but I think
Speaker 3: it's true.
Speaker 2: I dated a guy for about eight months and didn't
Speaker 2: know that he was like eight years older than he
Speaker 2: told me he was until I was at his parents
Speaker 2: place for his birthday and his brother's like, so, how
Speaker 2: old is Scott said?
Speaker 3: He is really interesting? Interesting?
Speaker 1: And how old was he at his birthday? And how old? Well?
Speaker 1: If we know answer A, we know answer?
Speaker 2: B Oh god, I can't remember. I feel like early
Speaker 2: thirties and he was like thirty eight.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, so he was he told you he was
Speaker 1: thirty and he was thirty eight.
Speaker 2: Yeah, ludacrous.
Speaker 1: Well he's a big fucking fiver, isn't he. If you
Speaker 1: knew he was that age when you met him, would
Speaker 1: you have gone out with him?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go.
Speaker 3: That was a silly guy.
Speaker 1: There was a waste of time and energy on his
Speaker 1: behalf hole. And then when he got caught, you probably
Speaker 1: thought he was a dick.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but then we matched on a dating app again
Speaker 2: years later, and I was like, Bro, you're still lying
Speaker 2: about your age lot about your age for so long.
Speaker 3: I don't even remember how old you are.
Speaker 1: I think it's hlabarous. That is hilarious.
Speaker 3: I think that does actually happen a lot on dating apps.
Speaker 3: People are lying about their aid. Apparently men lie about
Speaker 3: their height.
Speaker 1: Yeah, See, dudes care about their height a lot more
Speaker 1: than how I don't ask me why I'm middle of
Speaker 1: the right. I'm not sure I'm not tall, but I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: dudes seem to care about that. I don't think men. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure men don't love being short, just like
Speaker 1: women don't like being I guess some women seen as
Speaker 1: being old. But like I, like you said, I think
Speaker 1: that's changing. But what I do think is funny about
Speaker 1: dating sites. Allegedly, I've never been one on one hand,
Speaker 1: on heart, on my mum's life, never been on one.
Speaker 1: But it seems like even on social media, people put
Speaker 1: up the best photo that's ever been taken of them
Speaker 1: ever in the history of their life, and it's fucking
Speaker 1: eleven years old. And then they turn up to a
Speaker 1: date and the poor unsuspecting potential boyfriend or girlfriend is like, God,
Speaker 1: looks like their mom turned up or their dad turned up. Like,
Speaker 1: they look nothing like that, am and joy saw. So
Speaker 1: my theory is put up a somewhere between average and
Speaker 1: not very good current photo and then if you still
Speaker 1: get interest, they're definitely not going to be disappointed, maybe
Speaker 1: even pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know that that's not a new thing,
Speaker 3: because I remember my mother in law telling me about
Speaker 3: how because she came over on a ship to meet
Speaker 3: her husband Wow, because his brother found her in the
Speaker 3: village and was like, oh, you'd be a good wife
Speaker 3: for my husband. And she wanted to leave her life
Speaker 3: and start something new and it was an adventure. But
Speaker 3: she was lucky that the picture was accurate. But she
Speaker 3: had a lot of stories, yeah, about women who had
Speaker 3: been given these photos of young men. Yeah, and went
Speaker 3: over and you know their husband to be or like
Speaker 3: sixty seventy eighty years old. You know that's you know, obviously,
Speaker 3: looks isn't the only thing you want the personality to
Speaker 3: be good as well. You know, you're coming over on
Speaker 3: a ship for months and then you're basically stranded here
Speaker 3: like unless someone's looking after you. So that's yeah. So
Speaker 3: this lying thing about how you look and who you
Speaker 3: are and how old you are, it's it's not new, it's.
Speaker 1: Not new, all right, So today what is happening everyone
Speaker 1: is Lillian is throwing questions at me. So I'm just
Speaker 1: getting up out of my chair now and walking over
Speaker 1: to the other side of the table that Jape suits
Speaker 1: Billian's just moving graciously like a gazelle into the number
Speaker 1: one seat, And all right, so thanks for doing this.
Speaker 1: This is a fun idea, your idea, I might add,
Speaker 1: So if the questions are terrible, we're not playing them.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I don't think it was my idea. Actually
Speaker 3: it was Kelly. Was it your idea that someone Kelly you?
Speaker 3: And then Kelly did the interview and I listened to it.
Speaker 3: I loved her questions, and I loved those episodes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she has good questions.
Speaker 3: And then when I told you that, you know, I
Speaker 3: listen to it and I liked it. You're like, oh,
Speaker 3: why don't you interview me?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh there you go.
Speaker 3: Really, so what was your idea? Actually?
Speaker 1: All right? Then, all right, then I'm going to give.
Speaker 3: You credit where credits due, but don't get used to it.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Well I feel privileged. And if you're going
Speaker 1: to jump in for the questions that I can't answer, you, Matt,
Speaker 1: you can jump.
Speaker 3: In if you like. That's totally fine. I actually really
Speaker 3: like it when you are jumping in and we're giving
Speaker 3: you a piece of the puzzle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we heard about you two wanted to do your
Speaker 1: own show without me before we pressed record?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean Tiffany, you know great, she's got a
Speaker 3: great things to say. I love it, you know, don't
Speaker 3: be so competitive, Craig geez. All right, So today, dear,
Speaker 3: I try to be on my own show.
Speaker 1: What is wrong with me? No?
Speaker 3: Today, it's not your show, you know?
Speaker 1: Yep?
Speaker 3: Sure, I'm ready to settle into your cheap seat.
Speaker 1: I should have got a bean bag for this.
Speaker 3: I'm going to run things a little bit differently as well.
Speaker 1: So she's taken well and truly taking over.
Speaker 3: I'm going to take over. So I wanted to start
Speaker 3: with some quick fire questions just to kind of get
Speaker 3: the ball rolling and to see what your answers are
Speaker 3: by instinct and not have a distinct through things and
Speaker 3: all of that. So we'll just do a few of those. Ready,
Speaker 3: However many I feel like, are you ready?
Speaker 1: Originally originally it was five and now it's however, all.
Speaker 3: Right, ready, they're they're not They're not difficult, They're just ready.
Speaker 3: People know you better, hopefully, Okay, coffee.
Speaker 1: Or tea coffee to be indecisive, here we go. All right,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to go with coffee. Such hard questions,
Speaker 1: so I didn't know I need more prepped on.
Speaker 3: All right, all right? Beach or mountains?
Speaker 1: Beach?
Speaker 3: Eminem's are smarties?
Speaker 1: Neither That is incorrect, wouldn't they either?
Speaker 3: The answer is Eminem's Okay, okay, VEG you might or
Speaker 3: peanut butter.
Speaker 1: Peanut butter, yes, very good.
Speaker 3: Favorite season.
Speaker 1: Spring, so right now, yeah, a little bit four weeks
Speaker 1: from now, but in the middle of spring.
Speaker 3: Google or chat ept chat is, oh, there you go.
Speaker 3: I agree. Comedy or drama.
Speaker 1: If it's good comedy, No drama. I love comedy, but
Speaker 1: I think most comics are not funny. So drama.
Speaker 3: So follow up questions how much TV do you.
Speaker 1: Watch in a day? Not much so at the most
Speaker 1: an hour I don't watch television.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's pretty that's okay.
Speaker 1: Most like most days fifteen minutes when I get in
Speaker 1: bed while I'm falling asleep.
Speaker 3: So below average, way below average. I think the average
Speaker 3: is like three or four hours a day. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I know it seems like a lot, But then when
Speaker 3: you actually think about your own behavior, it's like, no,
Speaker 3: I pretty much do that favorite show, another.
Speaker 1: Follow up favorite show like lifetime favorite show or all right,
Speaker 1: so this is gonna this is doing myself for this service.
Speaker 1: I like The Big Bang Theory because it's just like
Speaker 1: it's all right, it's about a bunch of geniuses or
Speaker 1: genie I, but it's funny and it's silly. Growing up,
Speaker 1: I loved you know, I loved it, Like mash was
Speaker 1: one of my favorite TV shows. Yeah in was it
Speaker 1: the Vietnam Vietnam War, Korean Korean more that's right, earlier
Speaker 1: than Vietnam, yep. And yeah, I mean a bunch of
Speaker 1: shows like I used to love House, the Doctor Show
Speaker 1: where he's like a medical detective. The Blacklist for a
Speaker 1: while was freaking amazing, but nothing that I go that's
Speaker 1: my all time Yeah. Favorite.
Speaker 3: So there's a real mix of comedy and drama. Then yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: all right, would you rather go to the movies or
Speaker 3: a concert?
Speaker 1: Movies?
Speaker 3: Interesting? What was the first time that you ever went to?
Speaker 1: Ah, maybe the Eagles, Oh in Melbourne, Jackson Brown, James Taylor,
Speaker 1: Like I'm old school, like I love old seventies, sixties, seventies, eighties. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Eagles live back first time were pretty amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can imagine. What about you, Tiffany, what was
Speaker 3: the first concert you'd ever gone.
Speaker 2: To Robbie Williams?
Speaker 3: Well? Really, yeah? Was it recent or was it a
Speaker 3: long time ago?
Speaker 2: It was a long time ago, maybe early two thousands sometime,
Speaker 2: I'd say, well mid two thousands. I wasn't even a fan,
Speaker 2: and I was the biggest fan ever after that constant.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's very good in concert. Yeah, I only saw
Speaker 3: him recently, like when he was here last and again
Speaker 3: I wasn't I'm not a massive fan, like I've liked
Speaker 3: maybe three of the songs. But when I saw him
Speaker 3: play at the AFL was at the Grand Final a
Speaker 3: few years ago, I was like, Oh, I think I
Speaker 3: might want to go to wisconcert. That would be fun,
Speaker 3: And it was great. It was so fun.
Speaker 1: I think he is.
Speaker 3: And he's also a really good mental health advocate as well.
Speaker 3: He's he's been talking about mental health, his mental health
Speaker 3: openly for many, many years, even before the more recent
Speaker 3: documentaries and movies. So yeah, I really liked that about him.
Speaker 3: He's really open.
Speaker 1: What was the worst content you went to? And no,
Speaker 1: it's not my day, but just one question either of you.
Speaker 1: So you went, what the fuck is this? Okay?
Speaker 2: And saw Rayla Montaigne, who I loved his music, but
Speaker 2: he was at the Art Center and it was a
Speaker 2: total mismatch and a total letdown. You know when a
Speaker 2: performer just doesn't fill the space.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what about when you hear someone and they're
Speaker 1: compared to their record voice? Yes, yes, live voices are
Speaker 1: three and you're like, fuck, did you even sing on
Speaker 1: that album? Because it was arable?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that happened to me recently. I go to a
Speaker 3: lot of concerts. I really enjoy going to concerts, and
Speaker 3: I've taken my daughter who's eighteen to like ten at
Speaker 3: least already. But the recent one that was really bad,
Speaker 3: which was a shame, was a New Order. Do you
Speaker 3: remember a New Order? From back? And I love them?
Speaker 3: And not boy band, not new Addition, New order, like
Speaker 3: the new wave band, like you know, they played.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Definitely not new addition, but like around the depeche Mode days,
Speaker 3: like that kind of era. But yeah, no, his voice
Speaker 3: was horrendous. Please you're ruining yourselves. Yeah, but yeah. My
Speaker 3: first concert was actually Kenny Rogers really good, yeah, amazing. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Like look, I grew up in Dover, Delaware, which is
Speaker 3: kind of small town USA, and my parents were immigrants
Speaker 3: and they listened to Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton and
Speaker 3: Elvis Presley and my parents were meant to go to
Speaker 3: that concert, but I think my they might have had
Speaker 3: an argument that evening and so my dad took me instead.
Speaker 3: So it ended up being moth firstconcert, and I think
Speaker 3: I was like twelve wow, And the Oakridge Boys opened.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if you guys know who that is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah. They sang a song called Elvira.
Speaker 1: Yeah they were never big here, but.
Speaker 3: Yeah, look them up. It's a really funny song. You
Speaker 3: should have definitely listened to it.
Speaker 1: One of my first jobs was in nineteen eighty two
Speaker 1: in Liverpool Street one one six Liverpool Street, Hobart working
Speaker 1: for a company that was then called Brashes, Brashes and Allen's,
Speaker 1: which was a music store my old man ran. He
Speaker 1: was the state manager for the company. And yeah, that
Speaker 1: was my first job out of school, was working selling music,
Speaker 1: selling instruments, selling tapes, selling LPs, old days before CDs
Speaker 1: were even a concept. So yeah, and back in those
Speaker 1: days heaps of Kenny Rodgers and all the old school
Speaker 1: guys and girls.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so sorry, he plays as well? Yeah do you No?
Speaker 3: Totally does for How long have you have you been playing?
Speaker 1: Since I was six?
Speaker 3: Oh? Wow? Do you sing? No?
Speaker 2: He's got a very good singing not even joking it
Speaker 2: actually got a really good for singing voice.
Speaker 1: I can sing a bit and play a bit. Little secret,
Speaker 1: I'm definitely not, you know. I love for me. I'd
Speaker 1: rather play by myself than for someone, and so would
Speaker 1: that someone probably, But it's like for me, music's very therapeutic.
Speaker 1: I listened to music a lot, So when I say
Speaker 1: I'd rather go to a movie than a concert sounds
Speaker 1: weird for me. But I've just been disappointed in a
Speaker 1: bunch of concerts, and I think it's very rare that
Speaker 1: they sound as good as they do. In my ears
Speaker 1: with headphones.
Speaker 3: If you were to get go to a concert where
Speaker 3: it sounded exactly how you want it to sound, what
Speaker 3: concert would you be going to?
Speaker 1: Well, I've been to it. Jackson Brown. I love Jackson Brown.
Speaker 1: A lot of people like, who's that? Yeah? Just my
Speaker 1: favorite singer songwriter of all time. You know, diustrates Mark Knopfler.
Speaker 1: He has not a great voice, but he has a
Speaker 1: great sound. And dire Straits were fucking amazing. The Eagles
Speaker 1: were amazing. Cool Joe Walsh who was part of the Eagles,
Speaker 1: Glenn Frye, all those dudes. I've got this crazy bird
Speaker 1: at my window that keeps, like right now as we're talking,
Speaker 1: flying into the window, headbutting it away, flying in, flying in,
Speaker 1: and then flapping his wings against the window. I'm like, bro,
Speaker 1: you're going to give yourself concussion. Stop it. What is
Speaker 1: that about? Is it routine season or something?
Speaker 3: What is it?
Speaker 1: I don't know, what's what's the what's the name of it?
Speaker 1: TIFFs like, there's I don't know, there's a season where
Speaker 1: birds go nuts? Maybe no, definitely, don't get me talking
Speaker 1: about you know.
Speaker 3: Nature, more quick fire and then I'm on to the
Speaker 3: good questions, right, all right? Favorite swear word. I know,
Speaker 3: there's a lot to choose from.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't have to be fucked just because it's
Speaker 1: the Swiss army knife of you know, speaking. You know,
Speaker 1: it's the all purpose multi tool that you can just
Speaker 1: slot in. But the funny thing is about fuck or
Speaker 1: fucking or fucked or fuck you is that it can
Speaker 1: be so many Like, it can be surprised, it can
Speaker 1: be like a compliment. Yeah, it can be to scare someone,
Speaker 1: It can be yeah, yeah, there is this multipurpose.
Speaker 3: There's this Finnish comedian and I can't remember his name
Speaker 3: right now, but maybe some of you have heard of
Speaker 3: him where he talks about the English language and like
Speaker 3: he'll use a word like you, fucker shit or just
Speaker 3: a regular.
Speaker 1: Someone seen that dude too.
Speaker 3: It's really good. He's really good. We saw him when
Speaker 3: he was here. Actually, all right now, I wanted to
Speaker 3: go back to Kelly's interview, just because she had some
Speaker 3: great questions about all sorts of things. Sure, how did
Speaker 3: you actually find the experience of being interviewed on your show?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd like it as long as I've done cheesy interviews,
Speaker 1: which I hate.
Speaker 3: You know, so, so you've hated this so far.
Speaker 1: Now you're going, okay, But you know, when people go
Speaker 1: because of my background and stuff, people go essentially, what's
Speaker 1: the best way to lose weight? Craig, And I'm like, ah, fuck,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here, you know. Or so Craig,
Speaker 1: how do we stay motivated? Well, John, we fucking don't
Speaker 1: ask a better question.
Speaker 3: I love that answer.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, you know, when like there's a
Speaker 1: question and there's not a single answer to that question
Speaker 1: because there are so many variables. It's like, what's the
Speaker 1: best way for a woman to exercise? Well, that is
Speaker 1: the dumbest, most ignorant, yeah, you know, probably insensitive question too.
Speaker 1: It depends on a million variables, So tell it to
Speaker 1: forget male or female. Just tell me about the person.
Speaker 1: Tell me all about their physiology, their medical stuff, their
Speaker 1: current level of condition, their genetics, what they want to do,
Speaker 1: their goal. You know, it depends on twenty things. Rock bottoms.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I.
Speaker 3: Think that people often want that easy, kind of formulaic answer.
Speaker 3: I think maybe it's those those kinds of answers sell
Speaker 3: better or sound better, and so that's what they're wanting.
Speaker 3: But it's not the real it's not the right answer.
Speaker 1: I disagree. I reckon when you listen, it's fucking terrible
Speaker 1: like it. I agree with you in that it's good
Speaker 1: to get soundbites, Craig, what's the best way to do this?
Speaker 1: And that's the SoundBite, right well, that's the that's the hook.
Speaker 1: But you know, it's like you and I and Tiff
Speaker 1: chatting right now. I'm not saying this is this is
Speaker 1: the high watermark for you know, engaging an audience. But
Speaker 1: I don't know what you are going to ask me.
Speaker 1: I didn't ask you what you're going to ask me.
Speaker 1: I didn't say send through any questions. I just said
Speaker 1: let's go, you know, And I think that for but like,
Speaker 1: I know, you've got questions that you've written out in
Speaker 1: terms of your planning, but you don't have a script,
Speaker 1: and you might ask half of them, you might ask
Speaker 1: a quarter of them, you might ask five questions you
Speaker 1: didn't write, because you can be in the moment and
Speaker 1: kind of read the room and understand, like I might
Speaker 1: open a door that's interesting that you didn't think i'd open,
Speaker 1: and you're like, fuck, let's keep going in that room. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, So there's that. I think my constant thinking
Speaker 1: whether I'm doing a keynote or a workshop or a
Speaker 1: podcast still whatever, or someone else's show is how do
Speaker 1: I make this something that people really want to listen
Speaker 1: to and is relevant and engaging. And people stop listening
Speaker 1: at the end and go, that was really good, you know,
Speaker 1: if it's just like and they don't even need to
Speaker 1: know why. But like Patrick and Tiff and I do
Speaker 1: a show which is meant to be about technology and
Speaker 1: it just ends up being about you know, dick jokes
Speaker 1: and carbs and bullshit and then a little bit of
Speaker 1: technology thrown in. But if we get constant or I
Speaker 1: get constant feedback about that saying, and even though it's
Speaker 1: almost a show about nothing, people love it because it's funny,
Speaker 1: it's very real. Some people would hate it, by the way, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they just go, yeah, I don't know why, but I
Speaker 1: love listening to you three dickheads just bang on. It's
Speaker 1: really entertaining. Yeah, but you could, like, we couldn't script
Speaker 1: what we do because everybody's just in the moment.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think when you have like that, that
Speaker 3: relationship where you guys really know each other, you can
Speaker 3: it's really easy to do that. I think that's great,
Speaker 3: all right, here's one. This is one that just came
Speaker 3: up while I was listening to you and Kelly, Yep,
Speaker 3: what is the biggest lie you told yourself about yourself
Speaker 3: when you were young? And when did you discover it
Speaker 3: wasn't true?
Speaker 1: I'm still discovering it. It was basically that I'm not
Speaker 1: good enough, smart enough, anything enough to be all the
Speaker 1: things I would like to have been, you know, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: so the constant life for me was I'm not smart enough,
Speaker 1: attractive enough, athletic enough, creative enough, likable enough, lovable enough.
Speaker 1: And there was no real self pity. I just thought that,
Speaker 1: Like I really thought that. Yeah, I really thought that.
Speaker 1: And then for me, just what moved the needle and
Speaker 1: what kind of turned on the light bulb a little
Speaker 1: bit was when I you know, I spoken about this
Speaker 1: too many times, but I just lost a whole lot
Speaker 1: of weight, and I went from really unfit to really
Speaker 1: very fit, and from really out of shape to really
Speaker 1: in shape when I was fourteen fifteen. And then what
Speaker 1: was the most interesting was not the weight loss or
Speaker 1: the physiological change, but how people treated me after that
Speaker 1: and responded to me and interacted with me, and like
Speaker 1: the doors that opened, like you know, socially and emotionally,
Speaker 1: and yeah, sporting doors open. You know, I got opportunities
Speaker 1: to play when I never got an opportunity and I
Speaker 1: was not bad, so then I got opportunities to you know,
Speaker 1: kind of rise through the ranks a little bit. And yeah,
Speaker 1: just that stuff. So I think, just my my self,
Speaker 1: sabotage my you know, ittybitish committee.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wonder log what does that say about like
Speaker 3: society too. I think I had a similar experience to you,
Speaker 3: where I felt very in some not globally not good enough,
Speaker 3: but in like some areas not good enough. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I think when you're a teenager it's pretty universal, especially
Speaker 3: but then if you come out of that and like
Speaker 3: you were saying, you got fit and then you started
Speaker 3: getting attention, and then your self concept started to change.
Speaker 3: And for me it was, yeah, you know that the
Speaker 3: ugly duckling to the you know, swan all of a
Speaker 3: sudden getting attention. What is actually happening? I don't understand this, Yeah,
Speaker 3: but like it shouldn't be that way. It shouldn't be
Speaker 3: that you're only accepted if you look a certain way
Speaker 3: or you know, are socially acceptable, and that is.
Speaker 1: True, but what us saying is absolutely true. But I
Speaker 1: also think, yeah, but it's kind of irrelevant because that
Speaker 1: isn't how the world works. Like we want everyone to
Speaker 1: be valued the same and respected and loved, and you know,
Speaker 1: we want that. I want that. If that was if
Speaker 1: I could click my fingers and that was the world, boom,
Speaker 1: it's happening. But that isn't the world we live in,
Speaker 1: like like it or not want it or not hate it.
Speaker 1: Even more attractive people get more opportunities. Taller guys are
Speaker 1: more attractive to women. Women say that all the time.
Speaker 1: Women are less attractive to short men. You know, people
Speaker 1: who have got some skill or super IQ or talent,
Speaker 1: they're more desirable, or they're more sought after, or they
Speaker 1: get more opportunities because of all that, you know, And
Speaker 1: so it's understandable, you know, and you oh the old
Speaker 1: birds pack. I'm on bro, I'm on a roll, just
Speaker 1: going someone else's window. But yes, I agree. And so
Speaker 1: for me, it wasn't that I changed how I thought
Speaker 1: about myself so much. Is I started to come to
Speaker 1: understand that my problem wasn't my potential, not that I
Speaker 1: thought I was gifted, and it wasn't my possibilities or
Speaker 1: you know what I might do be create or but
Speaker 1: rather what I thought of myself. You know how I thought,
Speaker 1: Oh I thought I couldn't do those things. Then I
Speaker 1: got to the point where I realized, oh, I can
Speaker 1: do those things. I can, but I need to make
Speaker 1: sure my mind doesn't get in the way of my
Speaker 1: possibilities and potential. And even now when I meet people,
Speaker 1: like you know, you can talk to someone and you go,
Speaker 1: this person's pretty fucking smart. Like they're pretty smart, you know,
Speaker 1: and it might not be in an academic intellectual way,
Speaker 1: but you know, like I had my best mate over
Speaker 1: this morning, Vinn, and you know, I've got a couple
Speaker 1: he's an electrician, I've got a couple of shoes I
Speaker 1: need to fix. And I just watched him do his
Speaker 1: magic right, And it's a kind of intelligence that I
Speaker 1: don't have, Like he did stuff in five minutes that
Speaker 1: I couldn't do in five hours. Yet some people would
Speaker 1: think I'm a little bit smart. I go, well, depends
Speaker 1: on which room you put me in, Because put me
Speaker 1: in a certain room, I'm the dumbest motherfucker in the room.
Speaker 1: You know, Give me any kind of tool and you
Speaker 1: might as well go have a sleep because nothing will
Speaker 1: change anytime soon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think like that has a lot to
Speaker 3: do with how narrow our definitions can be of things. Yes,
Speaker 3: what does you know smart mean? Like, yeah, I think
Speaker 3: as you get older, and maybe as society evolves as well,
Speaker 3: the definition becomes much more broad and you can see
Speaker 3: like the different situations and our people can be smart
Speaker 3: in different ways. Or you know, you might apply gills
Speaker 3: in one situation and not be able to apply it
Speaker 3: in another. And I think that's the same for you know,
Speaker 3: being intelligent, beauty. I think creativity. I had a very
Speaker 3: very narrow definition of creativity and maybe a lot of
Speaker 3: other people do too, I don't know, but this idea
Speaker 3: of like you're an artist, Like if creativity means you're
Speaker 3: an artist, you know, you can't sing or write music
Speaker 3: or draw or something like that. And so I always
Speaker 3: said I wasn't creative. Let's say I'm just not created
Speaker 3: to the point where even on like an application to
Speaker 3: postgraduate school where they had like this thing where you're
Speaker 3: meant to get a recommendation from a professor, but my
Speaker 3: professor's like, no, I'm happy for you to just fill
Speaker 3: it all in yourself. And I was like okay, and
Speaker 3: it was like ranking like me on a few different things,
Speaker 3: so research, creativity, blah blah blah. And because I, for
Speaker 3: some reason, I'm like the most honest person on earth,
Speaker 3: I'm like looking at each of them like, how am I?
Speaker 3: You know? How creative am I? And I put myself
Speaker 3: down for it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yes, And I'm like that that actually would have affected
Speaker 3: my admissions for sure, because I know that everybody else
Speaker 3: did not do they put themselves up. But it was
Speaker 3: because I really didn't think I was. And it has
Speaker 3: really only been in probably the last ten years or that.
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I am, that's so silly. I am creative.
Speaker 3: I create things all the time, you know, even in
Speaker 3: the in the artistic side of like like taking photographs
Speaker 3: that's creative, but but like you know, I don't know,
Speaker 3: designing it up that's creative. Creating online programs, been working
Speaker 3: out worksheets that are recording things that are going to
Speaker 3: good for my clients, you know, finding gaps and creating
Speaker 3: something out of nothing. That's all creative. But yeah, it
Speaker 3: just wasn't how I saw it. Well.
Speaker 1: I think the collision or the intersection of collect and
Speaker 1: creativity is problem solving, right, And you think even in science,
Speaker 1: we're always trying to solve problems, we're always trying to
Speaker 1: understand something, We're always trying to ask the best question. Well,
Speaker 1: that's creative, you know. And when I look at Mark,
Speaker 1: my training partner, who you wouldn't call typically creative, because
Speaker 1: I think a lot of and I'm being presumptive here,
Speaker 1: like is that like a lot of people think of
Speaker 1: creative as oh, he can or she can sing or
Speaker 1: dance or write or do poetry, and it's all these
Speaker 1: kind of artistic things, these expressions of creativity, whereas I
Speaker 1: think most people are creative, just in different ways. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: if you can figure out how to navigate a complex
Speaker 1: into personal situation, well that's creativity because you're solving problems
Speaker 1: in real time and you know, and yes, there's some
Speaker 1: psych in there and some science in there, and some
Speaker 1: self awareness and situational awareness, but you realize you're heading
Speaker 1: in a direction this is not good, and then you
Speaker 1: figure out in the middle of that how you might
Speaker 1: do better and produce better, and then you you know,
Speaker 1: you intervene with that knowledge, and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you've gone from heading in a shit direction to a
Speaker 1: better direction and you've just saved a podcast or a
Speaker 1: pitch for a job or a business meeting or whatever
Speaker 1: it was. Yeah, that's creative.
Speaker 3: It is like when you said that understanding and creativity
Speaker 3: leads to problem solving. I'm like, that's like literally the
Speaker 3: definition of therapy. That's what it is.
Speaker 1: Well, you have to be creative, because you are. You know,
Speaker 1: you are putting what you know and understand alongside or
Speaker 1: in the moment intuition and awareness and then trying to
Speaker 1: come up with a practical feasible you know, intervention or
Speaker 1: solution of sorts for that in the visual and no
Speaker 1: one else. Yeah, that's very creative.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, I'm so creative.
Speaker 1: You actually are. But I think the problem is not
Speaker 1: that we're not creative. I think it's that we have
Speaker 1: a very limited definition. It's like intelligence. It's like intelligence.
Speaker 1: Intelligence is so many more things than being good at school.
Speaker 1: Like I would say that intellect of itself, it doesn't
Speaker 1: rank as high for me as lots of other different
Speaker 1: kinds of intelligence, like practical intelligent intelligence, situational awareness, communication,
Speaker 1: you know, like just being able to adapt and survive.
Speaker 1: That's its own kind of intelligence, you know, being able
Speaker 1: to write a song, being able to conceptualize something and
Speaker 1: then write a book you know, out of your head
Speaker 1: pre chat GPT and without ripping anyone off, like you
Speaker 1: literally like the first book I wrote and I'm not
Speaker 1: a joeniust but was twenty five years ago, and it
Speaker 1: was all about, you know, my experience are coming to
Speaker 1: understand that getting in shape is largely not a physical
Speaker 1: process more a psychological and emotional and physical process. Because
Speaker 1: I'd worked with so many people and I've gained so
Speaker 1: much real world you know, on the ground at the
Speaker 1: coal Face experience, I just started to jot down all
Speaker 1: of the ideas and all of the learnings and that
Speaker 1: became a paragraph, and then a bunch of paragraphs, and
Speaker 1: then eventually chapters and then a book.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: But that was that was the insection of you know,
Speaker 1: a little bit of intuition and paying attention to humans
Speaker 1: as well as figuring out how do I share these
Speaker 1: ideas in a way that are meaningful and super readable.
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I think we're definitely on the same page.
Speaker 3: And I think that can actually help solve a lot
Speaker 3: of problems. If when you're judging yourself, if you think
Speaker 3: about how you're defining whenever you're judging yourself, and think
Speaker 3: about different ways of defining it, broader ways of defining it.
Speaker 3: I think that's really helpful.
Speaker 1: Do you know what else I think is an expression
Speaker 1: of creativity or an example and intelligence together is being
Speaker 1: able to, like, you know a lot of stuff, right,
Speaker 1: You've got a PhD. Your knowledge is profound compared to
Speaker 1: the average person in your field. I mean, compared to
Speaker 1: the average person in your field, I guess you're quite
Speaker 1: respected and somewhere near the top, I would think. But
Speaker 1: what I mean is you have a capacity to share
Speaker 1: what can be pretty complicated over people's head stuff in
Speaker 1: a way that isn't complicated or over their head. So
Speaker 1: what you're doing is, in real time you are breaking
Speaker 1: down this this scientifical, psycho psychological construct or theory or
Speaker 1: whatever it is, into layman's terms so we can all
Speaker 1: not only understand it, but then maybe do something with it.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that's yeah.
Speaker 1: I agree, that's a gift, you know.
Speaker 3: I think, well, I think it's well, it's thank you,
Speaker 3: but I think also it's Yeah, it's just about making
Speaker 3: things accessible to people. And like I think what you
Speaker 3: said before again about therapy being or I said that,
Speaker 3: but it was your definition of therapy having had to
Speaker 3: you know, be sit with I don't know, thousands of
Speaker 3: people in groups or individuals and tailor things to them.
Speaker 3: You kind of learn how to translate research evidence into
Speaker 3: practical strategies. And then it's then it's about how do you, Yeah,
Speaker 3: how do you tailor it to people's not needs and wants,
Speaker 3: but like their preferences and their learning styles. And that's
Speaker 3: kind of what I feel like. That's the direction that
Speaker 3: I've gone and is just trying to create things that
Speaker 3: cater to as many people as possible and the way
Speaker 3: they want the information because we're all different.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when people hit me up and ask me what
Speaker 1: do you doing your research on? Or what's your POHD about?
Speaker 1: And so I think, do I want to open the
Speaker 1: whole how you think, how you think about them, how
Speaker 1: they think about you, how you think they think about you?
Speaker 1: This kind of cognitive shit fest or this you know?
Speaker 1: And I say, well, let me let me explain it
Speaker 1: like this. I go, put up your hand if you've
Speaker 1: ever heard your voice on an audio recording. And I've
Speaker 1: told this before, but put up your hand if you've
Speaker 1: ever heard you on a recording and people go, oh,
Speaker 1: my gosh, and then they raise their hand because they
Speaker 1: think they sound shit. Right, I put your hand and down,
Speaker 1: I go, Now, put your hand back up if you
Speaker 1: think you sound terrible, and all the hands go back up,
Speaker 1: and I go, well, the bad news for you is
Speaker 1: that's how we hear you all the time, right, And
Speaker 1: that is true. What you think is that whiny, nasally
Speaker 1: unattractive voice that you heard on a recording, That is
Speaker 1: precisely what goes in our ears. So your version of
Speaker 1: you is not our version of you, even auditorially. So
Speaker 1: then we zoom back from just the listening experience to
Speaker 1: the whole experience. So you go, well, of course you
Speaker 1: get it wrong. Of course you do, because the only
Speaker 1: person who thinks like you is you, you know. And
Speaker 1: there's even a name for that. And I go, there's
Speaker 1: a thing called false consensus effect, and that means that
Speaker 1: we just assume that people think like us. Well, that's
Speaker 1: a really fucking bad assumption because it's not true. Now,
Speaker 1: if you move forward in a conflict solution or you know,
Speaker 1: team meeting or whatever, operating on the assumption that everyone
Speaker 1: else in the room thinks like you. You'll produce more problems,
Speaker 1: more problems and solutions.
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, yeah, all right, Craig, tell me, what
Speaker 3: do you worry about.
Speaker 1: I worry about my parents, that's it.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to die, but I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't overthink, you know how a lot of people that
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, it's like back in, but it's not
Speaker 1: even that. I just don't want to be. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: would not want to die an unhealthy, long death, you know,
Speaker 1: but that doesn't really occupy much my space. Okay, so
Speaker 1: in order, it would be mum and dad, and then
Speaker 1: it would be and I don't when I say I
Speaker 1: don't worry, I just have. I do worry a bit,
Speaker 1: but I have just more of an awareness of them.
Speaker 1: I saw them last night. It was Father's Day. I
Speaker 1: spent time with them, and it was it was actually
Speaker 1: really good. And then then I feel a bit bad
Speaker 1: because I don't get there enough, you know. But it's
Speaker 1: four hours of driving, you know, And I'm like, and
Speaker 1: then I hear myself coaching me, going, well, what fuck it?
Speaker 1: What's more important than them? And fuck the four hours
Speaker 1: because in a while there won't be anyone to drive to.
Speaker 1: So and then I'm like, I, you know, reprimand myself,
Speaker 1: but it mainly that and other people like I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't care so much about stuff at all, you know,
Speaker 1: so relationships, not doing the wrong thing by people. I
Speaker 1: used to care a lot more that this is going
Speaker 1: to sound weird, but that I used to worry a
Speaker 1: lot more about what people thought of me. I don't
Speaker 1: so much anymore. I just know that, well, one I'm flawed,
Speaker 1: and two I'm going to fuck up, and three, you know,
Speaker 1: people have every right to like me or not like me.
Speaker 1: I get that, so there's no argument with that. But
Speaker 1: I don't want to give people. I don't want to
Speaker 1: give people a reason to be disappointed in me or
Speaker 1: you know, think I'm a wanker, or I don't want
Speaker 1: to do that. Like I want to be, you know,
Speaker 1: I want to be the person that my mum thinks
Speaker 1: I am. You know that person. You know what's that saying?
Speaker 1: You want to be as good as your dog thinks
Speaker 1: you are, or you know, because dog thinks you're the
Speaker 1: best thing in the world. I want to be as
Speaker 1: good as my labrador thinks I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's that's not a lot of other stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you know, kind of like the big things
Speaker 3: in life, you know, your relationships, and.
Speaker 1: If you want me to get tiny bit philosophical, I
Speaker 1: really fucking worry about the world. I worry about the
Speaker 1: next fifty years for him and I won't be here,
Speaker 1: but I worry about what that's going to look like.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just what do you do with that kind
Speaker 3: of worry? Because that is quite a global one. I
Speaker 3: think a lot of people can relate to that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: without any political you know, and all of that.
Speaker 1: I try not to waste energy on things I can't control.
Speaker 1: So even though I say I worry about it, I
Speaker 1: don't obsess or ruminate or focus on it. But there's
Speaker 1: an underlying just care for the world. It's like, you know,
Speaker 1: like friends have got little friends of mine. I got
Speaker 1: little kids and they're four, and I go, fuck, what's
Speaker 1: life going to be like when they're fifty four? You know,
Speaker 1: what's the world going to look like? So that a
Speaker 1: little bit, but you know, I try, and I encourage
Speaker 1: other people to like identify the things that you can
Speaker 1: control and can't control, and then invest your energy where
Speaker 1: you're going to get the best return, which of course
Speaker 1: is easier said than done, because we're emotional, fear based
Speaker 1: creatures at times. Yeah, and so it's very you know,
Speaker 1: intellectually and logically, oh, don't well, don't focus on that
Speaker 1: because that doesn't change anything. That's good. That's good theoretically,
Speaker 1: and it's not terrible advice. But it's like you said,
Speaker 1: I think you said before you know it's or maybe
Speaker 1: we said another time, but it's like telling a worried
Speaker 1: person not to worry. It's like, well, or is that
Speaker 1: utif it doesn't matter?
Speaker 3: That makes sense?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, well, yeah, it's gone up to the
Speaker 1: person who's freaking out, they're worried, they're a bit anxious,
Speaker 1: having a minor meltdown. You go put your hand on
Speaker 1: their shoulder. Lovely intention but completely fucking unhelpful when you
Speaker 1: tell the worried person not to worry, because clearly they
Speaker 1: can't just turn it off.
Speaker 3: So and even trying to turn it off as like
Speaker 3: counterproductive as well. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, that I try to the things that
Speaker 1: I can do or influence or effect. I try very
Speaker 1: much not to talk about political stuff on this show,
Speaker 1: just because I think we're inundated with it. And also,
Speaker 1: what the fuck do I know, so I'd rather talk
Speaker 1: about human beings and human feelings and human bodies and
Speaker 1: human relationships and the human experience at that level. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I think rather than me chiming in on politics,
Speaker 1: nobody fucking needs it.
Speaker 3: Well, I agree that there's a lot of it, and
Speaker 3: I try. I've been trying to avoid it a lot
Speaker 3: as well, just for my own sanity. But also like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I can relate to that worry of parents and you know,
Speaker 3: parents getting older, and I'm all the way across the
Speaker 3: world from mine, so I really don't get to see them, yes,
Speaker 3: very often. And then also you know, like because we
Speaker 3: have children, Like when you have children, the experience of
Speaker 3: having a child is for I guess most people that
Speaker 3: again it's my experience probably a lot of other people,
Speaker 3: is that this kind of layer of anxiety washes over you. Yes,
Speaker 3: you just can't. It's just part of like being a parent,
Speaker 3: because I think evolutionarily it makes sense because anxiety is
Speaker 3: there to protect you, and now it's there to protect
Speaker 3: you know, your child. Because but yeah, that like I
Speaker 3: wasn't an anxious person. I didn't worry much at all,
Speaker 3: Like before kids, like I was very happy, kind of
Speaker 3: go lucky, I think, But yeah, the experience of having
Speaker 3: children really change that and gave me a new perspective
Speaker 3: on what worry and anxiety is. And you know, sometimes
Speaker 3: you can't help things. Like I was telling you before
Speaker 3: the show that, like, I've had an interesting day and
Speaker 3: a half. And yes, so my daughter broke her ankle
Speaker 3: playing basketball yesterday.
Speaker 1: That's that's a bad injury and it hurts a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well we didn't think she broke it initially because she
Speaker 3: didn't cry, you know, like you know when you're like
Speaker 3: I've seen her in pain before. Yeah, yeah, and she
Speaker 3: just was holding her foot and it didn't look good.
Speaker 3: But we're like, oh, maybe it's like dislocated or whatever.
Speaker 3: And now it's not dislocated, and yeah, she's gonna have
Speaker 3: surgery tomorrow as well.
Speaker 1: Oh really yeah oh wow.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's been interesting and so like stuff like
Speaker 3: that will come up. You know, you can't you can't
Speaker 3: control everything, and so it makes sense for worried and
Speaker 3: to come up in those situations.
Speaker 1: But I think I think sometimes worry is I mean,
Speaker 1: it's logical, Yeah, if that happened, Like I think, if
Speaker 1: I had kids, I would worry much more than I
Speaker 1: currently worry like I I probably have issues with getting
Speaker 1: too close to people. I reckon if I had kids,
Speaker 1: i'd be the best dad in the world and the
Speaker 1: worst dad in the world because I think I might
Speaker 1: be over protective. I'd hope I wouldn't be. I'd hope
Speaker 1: i'd let them. I'm pretty sure i'd let them just
Speaker 1: fuck up and fall over and get back up.
Speaker 3: But it's a real difficult it really is.
Speaker 1: It's a juggling act. And I think, like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: e a like I a friend of mine had a
Speaker 1: kid and somebody hurt his kid and like quite badly,
Speaker 1: like broke his jaw and like just a bully. And
Speaker 1: I'm like I was, I was, Oh god, I cannot
Speaker 1: tell you how mad I was, as not even my kid,
Speaker 1: but I care about the kid, and then I care
Speaker 1: about his dad. Yeah, oh god, this is why I
Speaker 1: don't have children.
Speaker 3: Probably, Oh no, you'd be amazed. You would be amazing.
Speaker 3: I think your first instinct of like you'd be a
Speaker 3: great dad. I think that you absolutely would be. And
Speaker 3: I think that that feeling of like wanting to kill
Speaker 3: someone if they touch your child is completely.
Speaker 1: Natural to all of the government authorities. I have no
Speaker 1: intention of ever killing anyone. I'm just talking about. But
Speaker 1: then at the same time, probably good.
Speaker 3: I I have children, Oh no, I have that instinct.
Speaker 3: Like my my son place footy, like there's any like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm ready to run on that field. I
Speaker 3: mean I won't, but I like, I have the instinct
Speaker 3: of wanting to. Yeah, Like he says somebody did something
Speaker 3: to him at school, like whether he was a child
Speaker 3: or like now and he's sixteen, I'm like, tell me
Speaker 3: who it is, you know, like, and he knows not
Speaker 3: to tell me because he's like, I might do something
Speaker 3: that's good. It's functional to a degree. It's just depending
Speaker 3: on what you actually end up doing. Yeah, my mom my.
Speaker 1: Mom ran on a footy field when I got ned
Speaker 1: in the face and I put my teeth through my tongue.
Speaker 1: Oh no, Mary, I'm like, oh my god. Mary ran
Speaker 1: on the field and was just like waving her fist
Speaker 1: and yelling at this like mom, get off the fucking field.
Speaker 3: That would have been.
Speaker 1: I'm and because I stood up night blood coming out
Speaker 1: of my mouth and ran down my neck right so
Speaker 1: that moms don't want to see that. And it wasn't
Speaker 1: The dude's fault. It was like it was just happened
Speaker 1: in play, So it was just an accident. But yeah,
Speaker 1: she was. She was like that that was going to
Speaker 1: that's it, you're not playing anymore. I'm like, what you're
Speaker 1: telling me, I'm not playing. I'm playing. She's like, I'm
Speaker 1: not playing anymore. That's your last game of football. I'm like,
Speaker 1: come on, bro, you're five foot tall. You're not going
Speaker 1: to stop me. So my lunch weighs more than you.
Speaker 1: Settle down, go sit next to Ron. But yeah, she
Speaker 1: wasn't happy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I can feel for for Mary, and I
Speaker 3: would have felt exactly the same in that situation and
Speaker 3: would have definitely run on field probably with I yelled
Speaker 3: at whoever hurt my child. But yeah, you know, accidents happen,
Speaker 3: and that's what happened yesterday. It was just an accident.
Speaker 1: And yeah, well I hope she recovers quick and with
Speaker 1: not too much pain.
Speaker 3: Now it'll be all right. So now we talked about worry,
Speaker 3: and I know we're coming to the end. Right. How
Speaker 3: much longer do we have?
Speaker 1: Six? Seven, eight minutes?
Speaker 3: Oh great, that's actually better than I thought. Tell me
Speaker 3: what really pisses you off?
Speaker 1: Bullies? Uh? People who are thoughtless and selfish, people who
Speaker 1: don't genuinely just you know, people who don't pay attention
Speaker 1: to other people. I'm not talking about looking after other people,
Speaker 1: but just you know, just people who are very self
Speaker 1: centered and don't care about I was quick story. One minute.
Speaker 1: I was at the gym on Friday night. At my gym,
Speaker 1: it's twenty four where I trained. It's twenty four to
Speaker 1: seven Friday night. It's unstaffed. One of the staff there Annie,
Speaker 1: who's amazing. She was their training clients, but she doesn't
Speaker 1: work at reception or anything. And these five guys came
Speaker 1: in and they're all young men, like they were probably
Speaker 1: sixteen to nineteen, and they all came in and one
Speaker 1: guy had a pass and the rest didn't, and they
Speaker 1: just came in like a swarm. Well one guy was
Speaker 1: a member, four weren't. And they were about to walk
Speaker 1: up the stairs and Annie walked down the stairs and
Speaker 1: bumped into them and said, oh, can I help you boys?
Speaker 1: And they're like no, we're good, and they're like, well, sorry,
Speaker 1: what do you Anyway, they were just trying to bluff
Speaker 1: her and bully her so they could go work out.
Speaker 1: And Annie looked at me, and I was about twenty
Speaker 1: feet away, and so I just came over and I
Speaker 1: stood in front of her, and there was Remember there's
Speaker 1: five of them, right, and they're all like pig you know,
Speaker 1: kids are big. Now. I go, what's going on, boys?
Speaker 1: And they go, oh, we're just going to do a workout.
Speaker 1: We're going to see if we like it. You can't
Speaker 1: do that. There's no staff here. And I go, who's
Speaker 1: got a membership? And this guy puts up. He goes, oh,
Speaker 1: I've got a membership. I'll go, well, you can train.
Speaker 1: The other four of you you can't train. And then
Speaker 1: like ah, but ah, but I go, not listening to me,
Speaker 1: you can't train. I didn't elevate my voice. I just
Speaker 1: said you can't train. Oh yeah, but we want to
Speaker 1: do a trial. I go, cool, you can do a trial,
Speaker 1: but not when there's no staff here. None of you
Speaker 1: have got memberships except you. And it doesn't matter how
Speaker 1: many ways you ask. You can ask me for the
Speaker 1: next half hours.
Speaker 3: This is no.
Speaker 1: And they went back and they just turned around and
Speaker 1: walked down. I went, see ya, But that where people
Speaker 1: are just fucking rude and blind people and trying to intimidate,
Speaker 1: you know, a lady, like a sixty year old lady.
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck you, you're definitely not training. That's all
Speaker 1: that stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you usually express anger and frustration and.
Speaker 1: No, I don't. I don't really get elevated. No, Like,
Speaker 1: if somebody is rude to me, I will go, Like
Speaker 1: in a shop, when they're I mean that have to
Speaker 1: be pretty rude, especially when it's in customer service and
Speaker 1: it's clearly they don't want to clear, they don't want
Speaker 1: to serve you, or I just go, it's not okay
Speaker 1: for you to be rude to me. That's it. And
Speaker 1: they look at me like what. I go, it's not
Speaker 1: okay for you to be rude to me. Maybe other
Speaker 1: people will put up with it. I won't, So either
Speaker 1: be polite. Don't need to be my best friend, just
Speaker 1: be polite, or go find me someone who's polite.
Speaker 3: Just I hat ah, that's pretty amazing. Would you do that, Tiffany?
Speaker 3: Is that something you've ever done?
Speaker 2: It's not something I've ever done, but I love it.
Speaker 3: I love it too.
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, people will treat you how you
Speaker 1: let them. Yeah, when people just are rude, I go,
Speaker 1: I go, hey, mate, it's not okay to be rude
Speaker 1: to me. I don't know if anyone's ever told you
Speaker 1: it's almost they get shocked. I go, maybe other people
Speaker 1: are cool. I'm not cool, so start again, don't be rude.
Speaker 1: And they never ac up, never because I don't ac up.
Speaker 1: Like I shouldn't say this because next time someone will
Speaker 1: fucking aark up. But you know, or they might get
Speaker 1: a bit grumpy, or they might walk off. I've had
Speaker 1: people just walk off and someone else, someone different, come back.
Speaker 1: I'm like cool and they were polite. I'm like, great,
Speaker 1: it's all I want. Like I'm not special. But if
Speaker 1: I'm going somewhere, which is essentially a customer service business, yeah,
Speaker 1: and someone treats me like I'm a problem.
Speaker 4: In their day, yeah, fuck you, Like fuck you don't
Speaker 4: do this job if you don't want to serve people,
Speaker 4: because it's the definition of the industry.
Speaker 1: It's called customer service.
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally. I love that, Like it's I think it's
Speaker 3: like the fuck he was on the inside though, Yeah,
Speaker 3: And the way you express it.
Speaker 1: Is like, oh, yeah, I don't elevate. I don't swear,
Speaker 1: I don't elevate. I don't I'm not rude. I don't
Speaker 1: finger point. Yeah, I just talk like I'm talking now.
Speaker 1: And because I say that and it doesn't sound aggressive
Speaker 1: because it's not, it's almost confusing for them. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So yeah, because what often will happen And this has
Speaker 3: happened with me and I'm sure a lot of other people.
Speaker 3: But like, if someone's rude to you, you just rude
Speaker 3: back because you don't put out, you're not going to
Speaker 3: put up with it. Yeah so, but but you're but
Speaker 3: you're doing something also ineffective because that's not going to
Speaker 3: change their behavior.
Speaker 1: Can I also sorry, can I put in a disclaimer?
Speaker 1: I would be I'm not like I can read things
Speaker 1: pretty well. If if somebody I would just my uh,
Speaker 1: my asterisk would be if you feel like you could
Speaker 1: be in danger, don't do that of course, Like if
Speaker 1: you're a if you're a lady and you're smaller and
Speaker 1: not as strong and somebody could hurt you, then just
Speaker 1: maybe you know, I think it's about context and situation.
Speaker 1: But in general terms, I believe that especially in customer
Speaker 1: service stuff. You know, it's like when people try and
Speaker 1: sell me something like on Hampton Street. I've been accusted
Speaker 1: or accosted a hundred times where I'm walking down Hampton
Speaker 1: Street and people want to sell you something or can
Speaker 1: I just ask you ten questions? I go no, and
Speaker 1: I just keep walking. They go, oh, can I ask why?
Speaker 1: I go no, and I just keep walking Like the
Speaker 1: question was can I and the answer is no? And
Speaker 1: then oh, well then can I ask why? Also?
Speaker 3: No? See?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I don't need and look, it depends I'm
Speaker 1: not prick, but I will do it sometimes and I will,
Speaker 1: you know, it depends on. But if I'm hurrying somewhere
Speaker 1: and I know that it's really someone trying to sell
Speaker 1: me a fucking timeshare on Lindhaman Island, it's really just
Speaker 1: a curtain to pull back to show me the opportunity.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, and you don't. Here's the thing you
Speaker 1: don't have to explain to people your personal decisions, especially
Speaker 1: it's anger trying to sell you something. Yeah, I can
Speaker 1: ask you why not no, just go.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think there's lots of ways of being effective
Speaker 3: in those situations, but sometimes you're not the one in control.
Speaker 3: Someone's like continuing to bother you.
Speaker 1: You can, especially with that multi level marketing ship multi
Speaker 1: level marketing when they are literally taught to not pay
Speaker 1: attention when people say no, right, you know they are
Speaker 1: trained to overcome objections, right, so they are trained. It's
Speaker 1: like they are told, Okay, you ask a question, person
Speaker 1: says I'm not interested. You ignore that. How fucking unethical
Speaker 1: is that? Yeah, and all you organizations that do that,
Speaker 1: you should be fucking ashamed of yourself to do that.
Speaker 1: When someone you asked them a question and the person
Speaker 1: politely says no, thank you or I'm not interested, then
Speaker 1: you with your clipboard fuck off.
Speaker 3: I really got the anger out of you today, didn't
Speaker 3: I cray? I love it.
Speaker 1: But do either of you disagree with me?
Speaker 3: No? I don't disagree. I have had a recent thing
Speaker 3: happened to me when my daughter and I were in
Speaker 3: London recently and someone came up to it like literally
Speaker 3: the same situation, yeah, very nice. I was like, I
Speaker 3: was in a good mood. I wasn't being rude. I
Speaker 3: was like super polite, happy to like entertain a little
Speaker 3: conversation as we're walking down the street. But when he
Speaker 3: just got no several times politely, then it was like, oh,
Speaker 3: well you must not like children, and you know, like
Speaker 3: he actually became.
Speaker 1: Very aggressive rude.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I just like I was with my daughter too,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I'm like, let's just walk across the
Speaker 3: street because this guy is like not leaving us alones.
Speaker 3: We just walked across the street and then we were
Speaker 3: at a pace and then my daughter looked behind us
Speaker 3: and she's like, oh, he's cross the street as well,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, don't worry, We're just going to keep
Speaker 3: walking and he's going to like and he stopped following us.
Speaker 3: But I'm like, that's so like I'm necessary.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, that's right. And there will be times when,
Speaker 1: you know, like if I see somebody. Conversely, if I
Speaker 1: see somebody on the street who's upset, I will go
Speaker 1: up and say are you okay? Like I love people,
Speaker 1: but I hate bullying and I hate that. You know,
Speaker 1: when you politely say no thanks, I'm not interested, and
Speaker 1: then maybe you repeat it again a version of no
Speaker 1: thank you, I'm not interested. Now this is me saying
Speaker 1: no twice politely.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Now if you keep going, you're not going to like it.
Speaker 1: You know, it's just got to be otherwise, there's no
Speaker 1: when people can treat people badly and there are no consequences.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there have to be a boundaries set.
Speaker 1: When when you can commit crimes in Melbourne with machetes
Speaker 1: and have hundreds of charges and you know you're a
Speaker 1: certain age and you will not go to jail, Well,
Speaker 1: of course you're going to keep doing it if you're
Speaker 1: that kind of person, because there's no significant reason not to.
Speaker 1: This is people do what they think they can get
Speaker 1: away with. I just got political.
Speaker 3: Fuck you did, Craig.
Speaker 1: I just I find that stuff so insane.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so insane.
Speaker 1: It's so insane. I'm like, and yeah, anyway, I'll be quiet,
Speaker 1: Doctor Lillian. It's been great. Thank you for quizzing me
Speaker 1: and opening that door. Clearly I have anger issues back
Speaker 1: in therapy for me, I'll have to book I'll have
Speaker 1: to book in with you.
Speaker 3: I think your anger is super functional. Well, thank you,
Speaker 3: it doesn't seem to be a problem.
Speaker 1: Tell people how to connect with you.
Speaker 3: Well, why don't you visit me at doctor Lilies dot
Speaker 3: com where you can find lots of free resources and
Speaker 3: if you're interested in reducing your worries, then Contain your
Speaker 3: Brain is a free app that you can download.
Speaker 1: And if you want some high performance coaching with Tiff,
Speaker 1: She's very expensive, but word has it on the street
Speaker 1: pretty fucking good. Where can people reach you? Cook gifcook
Speaker 1: dot com. There you go, boom two ladies to choose
Speaker 1: from both amazing and the fat fuck in the middle.
Speaker 3: Just you know, how do we reach him?
Speaker 1: No, not at all, at all.
Speaker 3: We want to. You know, we're hoping that you'll be
Speaker 3: in concert and we can come to your show.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sure, I'll just restring my guitar and get Macallis's
Speaker 1: back on my fingers and uh maybe me, me, me,
Speaker 1: just tune that voice back in. All right, ladies, we'll
Speaker 1: say goodbye here, but thanks for that was fun.
Speaker 3: Bye bye.