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Speaker 1: I get a team. It's another installment of the new Project,

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Speaker 1: of course it is. That's why you press play. Tiffany

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Speaker 1: and Cook and doctor Lillian Narde and me Fatty Harps

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Speaker 1: in the flannel shirt in the middle of this particular screen.

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Speaker 1: Where am I on your screen? Tiff middle bottom, top

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Speaker 1: and left right.

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Speaker 2: And speak of you, so you're like, boom, you're the

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Speaker 2: big one, and then everyone else just sits up in a.

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Speaker 3: Row up top.

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Speaker 1: I never have that. I like to be able to

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Speaker 1: see what everyone's face is doing in the middle of

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Speaker 1: the chat.

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Speaker 3: I like that too. Greg. I've got you on the left, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: Jef's on the bartom.

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Speaker 1: I got you on the right, and Tip on the left,

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Speaker 1: So a little horizontal grab. We'll start with Cook. How

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Speaker 1: are you.

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Speaker 3: I'm very good. Thanks, Happy Monday?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, happy Monday. Happy? Did you Oh you didn't see

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Speaker 1: the old man because he's in another state. Did you

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Speaker 1: give him a virtual cuddle or did you call him?

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Speaker 1: Or what did you do?

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Speaker 2: Both of the above? I gave him a virtual cuddle

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Speaker 2: and then I gave him a call.

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Speaker 1: How is the old bugger?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: He's good, he's good. He's got some good stuff on.

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Speaker 1: Sy Yeah, well, it's dad now seventy four.

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Speaker 2: You know how I get stuck on aug So he's

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Speaker 2: been seventy one for bad for years now. My brother

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Speaker 2: stayed at forty six for a banded dicad.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's funny. My kids had me stuck on

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Speaker 3: forty for like eight years. I don't know how that happened,

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Speaker 3: but I was like super psyched about it.

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Speaker 1: That's probably because you were telling him constantly I'm forty.

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Speaker 3: No I wasn't. Oh not really, No didn't come. No,

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Speaker 3: didn't come for me. They just, I don't know, mathematically talented.

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Speaker 3: But then my my husband was turning fifty and my

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Speaker 3: son came up to me in an earshot of my

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Speaker 3: husband and was like, Mom, why did you marry such

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Speaker 3: an old man? Oh?

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Speaker 1: That is hilarious.

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Speaker 3: My husband did not like that, and so he told

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Speaker 3: everyone my age and I was like, why did you

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Speaker 3: have to do?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, do you think? Oh? I know, I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to ask it. I'm going to ask one

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Speaker 1: question because I know it's your show today, doctor Lilian

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Speaker 1: as the host today, be brief, do you think women

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Speaker 1: are more likely to lie about their age than dudes? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I thought I knew the answer. I just didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be presumptuous.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, I think it's Societally, women have not been

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Speaker 3: allowed to age, you know, and still be acceptable and

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Speaker 3: visible and you know, seen as. I don't know, like

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Speaker 3: I think that's changing, but I think that women were

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Speaker 3: conditioned to try to stay and young and pretend that

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Speaker 3: they were younger to other people, just so that they

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Speaker 3: could still be relevant, which is sad, but I think

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Speaker 3: it's true.

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Speaker 2: I dated a guy for about eight months and didn't

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Speaker 2: know that he was like eight years older than he

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Speaker 2: told me he was until I was at his parents

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Speaker 2: place for his birthday and his brother's like, so, how

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Speaker 2: old is Scott said?

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Speaker 3: He is really interesting? Interesting?

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Speaker 1: And how old was he at his birthday? And how old? Well?

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Speaker 1: If we know answer A, we know answer?

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Speaker 2: B Oh god, I can't remember. I feel like early

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Speaker 2: thirties and he was like thirty eight.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, so he was he told you he was

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Speaker 1: thirty and he was thirty eight.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, ludacrous.

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Speaker 1: Well he's a big fucking fiver, isn't he. If you

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Speaker 1: knew he was that age when you met him, would

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Speaker 1: you have gone out with him?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there you go.

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Speaker 3: That was a silly guy.

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Speaker 1: There was a waste of time and energy on his

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Speaker 1: behalf hole. And then when he got caught, you probably

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Speaker 1: thought he was a dick.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but then we matched on a dating app again

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Speaker 2: years later, and I was like, Bro, you're still lying

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Speaker 2: about your age lot about your age for so long.

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Speaker 3: I don't even remember how old you are.

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Speaker 1: I think it's hlabarous. That is hilarious.

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Speaker 3: I think that does actually happen a lot on dating apps.

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Speaker 3: People are lying about their aid. Apparently men lie about

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Speaker 3: their height.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, See, dudes care about their height a lot more

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Speaker 1: than how I don't ask me why I'm middle of

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Speaker 1: the right. I'm not sure I'm not tall, but I think, yeah,

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Speaker 1: dudes seem to care about that. I don't think men. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure men don't love being short, just like

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Speaker 1: women don't like being I guess some women seen as

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Speaker 1: being old. But like I, like you said, I think

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Speaker 1: that's changing. But what I do think is funny about

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Speaker 1: dating sites. Allegedly, I've never been one on one hand,

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Speaker 1: on heart, on my mum's life, never been on one.

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Speaker 1: But it seems like even on social media, people put

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Speaker 1: up the best photo that's ever been taken of them

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Speaker 1: ever in the history of their life, and it's fucking

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Speaker 1: eleven years old. And then they turn up to a

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Speaker 1: date and the poor unsuspecting potential boyfriend or girlfriend is like, God,

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Speaker 1: looks like their mom turned up or their dad turned up. Like,

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Speaker 1: they look nothing like that, am and joy saw. So

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Speaker 1: my theory is put up a somewhere between average and

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Speaker 1: not very good current photo and then if you still

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Speaker 1: get interest, they're definitely not going to be disappointed, maybe

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Speaker 1: even pleasantly surprised.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know that that's not a new thing,

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Speaker 3: because I remember my mother in law telling me about

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Speaker 3: how because she came over on a ship to meet

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Speaker 3: her husband Wow, because his brother found her in the

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Speaker 3: village and was like, oh, you'd be a good wife

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Speaker 3: for my husband. And she wanted to leave her life

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Speaker 3: and start something new and it was an adventure. But

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Speaker 3: she was lucky that the picture was accurate. But she

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Speaker 3: had a lot of stories, yeah, about women who had

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Speaker 3: been given these photos of young men. Yeah, and went

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Speaker 3: over and you know their husband to be or like

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Speaker 3: sixty seventy eighty years old. You know that's you know, obviously,

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Speaker 3: looks isn't the only thing you want the personality to

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Speaker 3: be good as well. You know, you're coming over on

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Speaker 3: a ship for months and then you're basically stranded here

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Speaker 3: like unless someone's looking after you. So that's yeah. So

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Speaker 3: this lying thing about how you look and who you

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Speaker 3: are and how old you are, it's it's not new, it's.

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Speaker 1: Not new, all right, So today what is happening everyone

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Speaker 1: is Lillian is throwing questions at me. So I'm just

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Speaker 1: getting up out of my chair now and walking over

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Speaker 1: to the other side of the table that Jape suits

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Speaker 1: Billian's just moving graciously like a gazelle into the number

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Speaker 1: one seat, And all right, so thanks for doing this.

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Speaker 1: This is a fun idea, your idea, I might add,

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Speaker 1: So if the questions are terrible, we're not playing them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I don't think it was my idea. Actually

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Speaker 3: it was Kelly. Was it your idea that someone Kelly you?

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Speaker 3: And then Kelly did the interview and I listened to it.

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Speaker 3: I loved her questions, and I loved those episodes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, she has good questions.

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Speaker 3: And then when I told you that, you know, I

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Speaker 3: listen to it and I liked it. You're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: why don't you interview me?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh there you go.

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Speaker 3: Really, so what was your idea? Actually?

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Speaker 1: All right? Then, all right, then I'm going to give.

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Speaker 3: You credit where credits due, but don't get used to it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, Well I feel privileged. And if you're going

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Speaker 1: to jump in for the questions that I can't answer, you, Matt,

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Speaker 1: you can jump.

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Speaker 3: In if you like. That's totally fine. I actually really

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Speaker 3: like it when you are jumping in and we're giving

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Speaker 3: you a piece of the puzzle.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we heard about you two wanted to do your

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Speaker 1: own show without me before we pressed record?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean Tiffany, you know great, she's got a

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Speaker 3: great things to say. I love it, you know, don't

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Speaker 3: be so competitive, Craig geez. All right, So today, dear,

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Speaker 3: I try to be on my own show.

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Speaker 1: What is wrong with me? No?

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Speaker 3: Today, it's not your show, you know?

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Speaker 1: Yep?

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Speaker 3: Sure, I'm ready to settle into your cheap seat.

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Speaker 1: I should have got a bean bag for this.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to run things a little bit differently as well.

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Speaker 1: So she's taken well and truly taking over.

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Speaker 3: I'm going to take over. So I wanted to start

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Speaker 3: with some quick fire questions just to kind of get

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Speaker 3: the ball rolling and to see what your answers are

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Speaker 3: by instinct and not have a distinct through things and

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Speaker 3: all of that. So we'll just do a few of those. Ready,

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Speaker 3: However many I feel like, are you ready?

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Speaker 1: Originally originally it was five and now it's however, all.

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Speaker 3: Right, ready, they're they're not They're not difficult, They're just ready.

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Speaker 3: People know you better, hopefully, Okay, coffee.

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Speaker 1: Or tea coffee to be indecisive, here we go. All right,

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to go with coffee. Such hard questions,

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Speaker 1: so I didn't know I need more prepped on.

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Speaker 3: All right, all right? Beach or mountains?

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Speaker 1: Beach?

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Speaker 3: Eminem's are smarties?

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Speaker 1: Neither That is incorrect, wouldn't they either?

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Speaker 3: The answer is Eminem's Okay, okay, VEG you might or

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Speaker 3: peanut butter.

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Speaker 1: Peanut butter, yes, very good.

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Speaker 3: Favorite season.

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Speaker 1: Spring, so right now, yeah, a little bit four weeks

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Speaker 1: from now, but in the middle of spring.

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Speaker 3: Google or chat ept chat is, oh, there you go.

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Speaker 3: I agree. Comedy or drama.

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Speaker 1: If it's good comedy, No drama. I love comedy, but

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Speaker 1: I think most comics are not funny. So drama.

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Speaker 3: So follow up questions how much TV do you.

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Speaker 1: Watch in a day? Not much so at the most

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Speaker 1: an hour I don't watch television.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's pretty that's okay.

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Speaker 1: Most like most days fifteen minutes when I get in

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Speaker 1: bed while I'm falling asleep.

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Speaker 3: So below average, way below average. I think the average

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Speaker 3: is like three or four hours a day. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I know it seems like a lot, But then when

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Speaker 3: you actually think about your own behavior, it's like, no,

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Speaker 3: I pretty much do that favorite show, another.

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Speaker 1: Follow up favorite show like lifetime favorite show or all right,

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Speaker 1: so this is gonna this is doing myself for this service.

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Speaker 1: I like The Big Bang Theory because it's just like

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Speaker 1: it's all right, it's about a bunch of geniuses or

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Speaker 1: genie I, but it's funny and it's silly. Growing up,

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Speaker 1: I loved you know, I loved it, Like mash was

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite TV shows. Yeah in was it

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Speaker 1: the Vietnam Vietnam War, Korean Korean more that's right, earlier

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Speaker 1: than Vietnam, yep. And yeah, I mean a bunch of

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Speaker 1: shows like I used to love House, the Doctor Show

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Speaker 1: where he's like a medical detective. The Blacklist for a

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Speaker 1: while was freaking amazing, but nothing that I go that's

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Speaker 1: my all time Yeah. Favorite.

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Speaker 3: So there's a real mix of comedy and drama. Then yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: all right, would you rather go to the movies or

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Speaker 3: a concert?

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Speaker 1: Movies?

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Speaker 3: Interesting? What was the first time that you ever went to?

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Speaker 1: Ah, maybe the Eagles, Oh in Melbourne, Jackson Brown, James Taylor,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm old school, like I love old seventies, sixties, seventies, eighties. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Eagles live back first time were pretty amazing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can imagine. What about you, Tiffany, what was

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Speaker 3: the first concert you'd ever gone.

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Speaker 2: To Robbie Williams?

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Speaker 3: Well? Really, yeah? Was it recent or was it a

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Speaker 3: long time ago?

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Speaker 2: It was a long time ago, maybe early two thousands sometime,

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Speaker 2: I'd say, well mid two thousands. I wasn't even a fan,

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Speaker 2: and I was the biggest fan ever after that constant.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's very good in concert. Yeah, I only saw

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Speaker 3: him recently, like when he was here last and again

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Speaker 3: I wasn't I'm not a massive fan, like I've liked

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Speaker 3: maybe three of the songs. But when I saw him

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Speaker 3: play at the AFL was at the Grand Final a

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Speaker 3: few years ago, I was like, Oh, I think I

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Speaker 3: might want to go to wisconcert. That would be fun,

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Speaker 3: And it was great. It was so fun.

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Speaker 1: I think he is.

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Speaker 3: And he's also a really good mental health advocate as well.

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Speaker 3: He's he's been talking about mental health, his mental health

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Speaker 3: openly for many, many years, even before the more recent

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Speaker 3: documentaries and movies. So yeah, I really liked that about him.

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Speaker 3: He's really open.

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Speaker 1: What was the worst content you went to? And no,

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Speaker 1: it's not my day, but just one question either of you.

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Speaker 1: So you went, what the fuck is this? Okay?

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Speaker 2: And saw Rayla Montaigne, who I loved his music, but

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Speaker 2: he was at the Art Center and it was a

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Speaker 2: total mismatch and a total letdown. You know when a

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Speaker 2: performer just doesn't fill the space.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, what about when you hear someone and they're

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Speaker 1: compared to their record voice? Yes, yes, live voices are

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Speaker 1: three and you're like, fuck, did you even sing on

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Speaker 1: that album? Because it was arable?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that happened to me recently. I go to a

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Speaker 3: lot of concerts. I really enjoy going to concerts, and

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Speaker 3: I've taken my daughter who's eighteen to like ten at

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Speaker 3: least already. But the recent one that was really bad,

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Speaker 3: which was a shame, was a New Order. Do you

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Speaker 3: remember a New Order? From back? And I love them?

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Speaker 3: And not boy band, not new Addition, New order, like

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Speaker 3: the new wave band, like you know, they played.

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Speaker 1: Like yeah, yeah, yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Definitely not new addition, but like around the depeche Mode days,

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Speaker 3: like that kind of era. But yeah, no, his voice

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Speaker 3: was horrendous. Please you're ruining yourselves. Yeah, but yeah. My

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Speaker 3: first concert was actually Kenny Rogers really good, yeah, amazing. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Like look, I grew up in Dover, Delaware, which is

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Speaker 3: kind of small town USA, and my parents were immigrants

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Speaker 3: and they listened to Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton and

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Speaker 3: Elvis Presley and my parents were meant to go to

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Speaker 3: that concert, but I think my they might have had

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Speaker 3: an argument that evening and so my dad took me instead.

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Speaker 3: So it ended up being moth firstconcert, and I think

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Speaker 3: I was like twelve wow, And the Oakridge Boys opened.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know if you guys know who that is.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know of them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. They sang a song called Elvira.

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Speaker 1: Yeah they were never big here, but.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, look them up. It's a really funny song. You

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Speaker 3: should have definitely listened to it.

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Speaker 1: One of my first jobs was in nineteen eighty two

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Speaker 1: in Liverpool Street one one six Liverpool Street, Hobart working

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Speaker 1: for a company that was then called Brashes, Brashes and Allen's,

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Speaker 1: which was a music store my old man ran. He

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Speaker 1: was the state manager for the company. And yeah, that

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Speaker 1: was my first job out of school, was working selling music,

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Speaker 1: selling instruments, selling tapes, selling LPs, old days before CDs

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Speaker 1: were even a concept. So yeah, and back in those

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Speaker 1: days heaps of Kenny Rodgers and all the old school

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Speaker 1: guys and girls.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so sorry, he plays as well? Yeah do you No?

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Speaker 3: Totally does for How long have you have you been playing?

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Speaker 1: Since I was six?

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Speaker 3: Oh? Wow? Do you sing? No?

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Speaker 2: He's got a very good singing not even joking it

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Speaker 2: actually got a really good for singing voice.

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Speaker 1: I can sing a bit and play a bit. Little secret,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely not, you know. I love for me. I'd

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Speaker 1: rather play by myself than for someone, and so would

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Speaker 1: that someone probably, But it's like for me, music's very therapeutic.

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Speaker 1: I listened to music a lot, So when I say

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Speaker 1: I'd rather go to a movie than a concert sounds

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Speaker 1: weird for me. But I've just been disappointed in a

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Speaker 1: bunch of concerts, and I think it's very rare that

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Speaker 1: they sound as good as they do. In my ears

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Speaker 1: with headphones.

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Speaker 3: If you were to get go to a concert where

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Speaker 3: it sounded exactly how you want it to sound, what

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Speaker 3: concert would you be going to?

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Speaker 1: Well, I've been to it. Jackson Brown. I love Jackson Brown.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people like, who's that? Yeah? Just my

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Speaker 1: favorite singer songwriter of all time. You know, diustrates Mark Knopfler.

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Speaker 1: He has not a great voice, but he has a

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Speaker 1: great sound. And dire Straits were fucking amazing. The Eagles

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Speaker 1: were amazing. Cool Joe Walsh who was part of the Eagles,

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Speaker 1: Glenn Frye, all those dudes. I've got this crazy bird

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Speaker 1: at my window that keeps, like right now as we're talking,

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Speaker 1: flying into the window, headbutting it away, flying in, flying in,

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Speaker 1: and then flapping his wings against the window. I'm like, bro,

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Speaker 1: you're going to give yourself concussion. Stop it. What is

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Speaker 1: that about? Is it routine season or something?

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Speaker 3: What is it?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, what's what's the what's the name of it?

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Speaker 1: TIFFs like, there's I don't know, there's a season where

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Speaker 1: birds go nuts? Maybe no, definitely, don't get me talking

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Speaker 1: about you know.

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Speaker 3: Nature, more quick fire and then I'm on to the

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Speaker 3: good questions, right, all right? Favorite swear word. I know,

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Speaker 3: there's a lot to choose from.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't have to be fucked just because it's

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Speaker 1: the Swiss army knife of you know, speaking. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's the all purpose multi tool that you can just

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Speaker 1: slot in. But the funny thing is about fuck or

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Speaker 1: fucking or fucked or fuck you is that it can

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Speaker 1: be so many Like, it can be surprised, it can

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Speaker 1: be like a compliment. Yeah, it can be to scare someone,

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Speaker 1: It can be yeah, yeah, there is this multipurpose.

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Speaker 3: There's this Finnish comedian and I can't remember his name

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Speaker 3: right now, but maybe some of you have heard of

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Speaker 3: him where he talks about the English language and like

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Speaker 3: he'll use a word like you, fucker shit or just

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Speaker 3: a regular.

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Speaker 1: Someone seen that dude too.

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Speaker 3: It's really good. He's really good. We saw him when

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Speaker 3: he was here. Actually, all right now, I wanted to

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Speaker 3: go back to Kelly's interview, just because she had some

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Speaker 3: great questions about all sorts of things. Sure, how did

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Speaker 3: you actually find the experience of being interviewed on your show?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'd like it as long as I've done cheesy interviews,

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Speaker 1: which I hate.

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Speaker 3: You know, so, so you've hated this so far.

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Speaker 1: Now you're going, okay, But you know, when people go

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Speaker 1: because of my background and stuff, people go essentially, what's

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Speaker 1: the best way to lose weight? Craig, And I'm like, ah, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be here, you know. Or so Craig,

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Speaker 1: how do we stay motivated? Well, John, we fucking don't

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Speaker 1: ask a better question.

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Speaker 3: I love that answer.

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Speaker 1: It's like, you know, you know, when like there's a

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Speaker 1: question and there's not a single answer to that question

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Speaker 1: because there are so many variables. It's like, what's the

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Speaker 1: best way for a woman to exercise? Well, that is

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Speaker 1: the dumbest, most ignorant, yeah, you know, probably insensitive question too.

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Speaker 1: It depends on a million variables, So tell it to

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Speaker 1: forget male or female. Just tell me about the person.

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Speaker 1: Tell me all about their physiology, their medical stuff, their

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Speaker 1: current level of condition, their genetics, what they want to do,

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Speaker 1: their goal. You know, it depends on twenty things. Rock bottoms.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I.

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Speaker 3: Think that people often want that easy, kind of formulaic answer.

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Speaker 3: I think maybe it's those those kinds of answers sell

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Speaker 3: better or sound better, and so that's what they're wanting.

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Speaker 3: But it's not the real it's not the right answer.

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Speaker 1: I disagree. I reckon when you listen, it's fucking terrible

381
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Speaker 1: like it. I agree with you in that it's good

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Speaker 1: to get soundbites, Craig, what's the best way to do this?

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Speaker 1: And that's the SoundBite, right well, that's the that's the hook.

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Speaker 1: But you know, it's like you and I and Tiff

385
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Speaker 1: chatting right now. I'm not saying this is this is

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Speaker 1: the high watermark for you know, engaging an audience. But

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you are going to ask me.

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Speaker 1: I didn't ask you what you're going to ask me.

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Speaker 1: I didn't say send through any questions. I just said

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Speaker 1: let's go, you know, And I think that for but like,

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Speaker 1: I know, you've got questions that you've written out in

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Speaker 1: terms of your planning, but you don't have a script,

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Speaker 1: and you might ask half of them, you might ask

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Speaker 1: a quarter of them, you might ask five questions you

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Speaker 1: didn't write, because you can be in the moment and

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Speaker 1: kind of read the room and understand, like I might

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Speaker 1: open a door that's interesting that you didn't think i'd open,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, fuck, let's keep going in that room. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, So there's that. I think my constant thinking

400
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,399
Speaker 1: whether I'm doing a keynote or a workshop or a

401
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 1: podcast still whatever, or someone else's show is how do

402
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,080
Speaker 1: I make this something that people really want to listen

403
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Speaker 1: to and is relevant and engaging. And people stop listening

404
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 1: at the end and go, that was really good, you know,

405
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: if it's just like and they don't even need to

406
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 1: know why. But like Patrick and Tiff and I do

407
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 1: a show which is meant to be about technology and

408
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 1: it just ends up being about you know, dick jokes

409
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 1: and carbs and bullshit and then a little bit of

410
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:36,520
Speaker 1: technology thrown in. But if we get constant or I

411
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Speaker 1: get constant feedback about that saying, and even though it's

412
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Speaker 1: almost a show about nothing, people love it because it's funny,

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Speaker 1: it's very real. Some people would hate it, by the way, Yeah,

414
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Speaker 1: they just go, yeah, I don't know why, but I

415
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 1: love listening to you three dickheads just bang on. It's

416
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Speaker 1: really entertaining. Yeah, but you could, like, we couldn't script

417
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Speaker 1: what we do because everybody's just in the moment.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think when you have like that, that

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00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:07,680
Speaker 3: relationship where you guys really know each other, you can

420
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Speaker 3: it's really easy to do that. I think that's great,

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00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:16,120
Speaker 3: all right, here's one. This is one that just came

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Speaker 3: up while I was listening to you and Kelly, Yep,

423
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Speaker 3: what is the biggest lie you told yourself about yourself

424
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Speaker 3: when you were young? And when did you discover it

425
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Speaker 3: wasn't true?

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Speaker 1: I'm still discovering it. It was basically that I'm not

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Speaker 1: good enough, smart enough, anything enough to be all the

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Speaker 1: things I would like to have been, you know, like, yeah,

429
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Speaker 1: so the constant life for me was I'm not smart enough,

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Speaker 1: attractive enough, athletic enough, creative enough, likable enough, lovable enough.

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Speaker 1: And there was no real self pity. I just thought that,

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Speaker 1: Like I really thought that. Yeah, I really thought that.

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Speaker 1: And then for me, just what moved the needle and

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Speaker 1: what kind of turned on the light bulb a little

435
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,399
Speaker 1: bit was when I you know, I spoken about this

436
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:13,239
Speaker 1: too many times, but I just lost a whole lot

437
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,240
Speaker 1: of weight, and I went from really unfit to really

438
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: very fit, and from really out of shape to really

439
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 1: in shape when I was fourteen fifteen. And then what

440
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 1: was the most interesting was not the weight loss or

441
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 1: the physiological change, but how people treated me after that

442
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 1: and responded to me and interacted with me, and like

443
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:39,800
Speaker 1: the doors that opened, like you know, socially and emotionally,

444
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: and yeah, sporting doors open. You know, I got opportunities

445
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 1: to play when I never got an opportunity and I

446
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 1: was not bad, so then I got opportunities to you know,

447
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: kind of rise through the ranks a little bit. And yeah,

448
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 1: just that stuff. So I think, just my my self,

449
00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: sabotage my you know, ittybitish committee.

450
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wonder log what does that say about like

451
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 3: society too. I think I had a similar experience to you,

452
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:11,040
Speaker 3: where I felt very in some not globally not good enough,

453
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 3: but in like some areas not good enough. Yeah. Yeah,

454
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 3: I think when you're a teenager it's pretty universal, especially

455
00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 3: but then if you come out of that and like

456
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 3: you were saying, you got fit and then you started

457
00:25:26,359 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 3: getting attention, and then your self concept started to change.

458
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 3: And for me it was, yeah, you know that the

459
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,159
Speaker 3: ugly duckling to the you know, swan all of a

460
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 3: sudden getting attention. What is actually happening? I don't understand this, Yeah,

461
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 3: but like it shouldn't be that way. It shouldn't be

462
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 3: that you're only accepted if you look a certain way

463
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,679
Speaker 3: or you know, are socially acceptable, and that is.

464
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 1: True, but what us saying is absolutely true. But I

465
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 1: also think, yeah, but it's kind of irrelevant because that

466
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: isn't how the world works. Like we want everyone to

467
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: be valued the same and respected and loved, and you know,

468
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 1: we want that. I want that. If that was if

469
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 1: I could click my fingers and that was the world, boom,

470
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,359
Speaker 1: it's happening. But that isn't the world we live in,

471
00:26:21,119 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 1: like like it or not want it or not hate it.

472
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:28,720
Speaker 1: Even more attractive people get more opportunities. Taller guys are

473
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 1: more attractive to women. Women say that all the time.

474
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: Women are less attractive to short men. You know, people

475
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,520
Speaker 1: who have got some skill or super IQ or talent,

476
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 1: they're more desirable, or they're more sought after, or they

477
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 1: get more opportunities because of all that, you know, And

478
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 1: so it's understandable, you know, and you oh the old

479
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: birds pack. I'm on bro, I'm on a roll, just

480
00:26:55,440 --> 00:27:00,440
Speaker 1: going someone else's window. But yes, I agree. And so

481
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,680
Speaker 1: for me, it wasn't that I changed how I thought

482
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: about myself so much. Is I started to come to

483
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 1: understand that my problem wasn't my potential, not that I

484
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 1: thought I was gifted, and it wasn't my possibilities or

485
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 1: you know what I might do be create or but

486
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:25,440
Speaker 1: rather what I thought of myself. You know how I thought,

487
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:29,119
Speaker 1: Oh I thought I couldn't do those things. Then I

488
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:30,719
Speaker 1: got to the point where I realized, oh, I can

489
00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:33,959
Speaker 1: do those things. I can, but I need to make

490
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: sure my mind doesn't get in the way of my

491
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 1: possibilities and potential. And even now when I meet people,

492
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,280
Speaker 1: like you know, you can talk to someone and you go,

493
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:46,000
Speaker 1: this person's pretty fucking smart. Like they're pretty smart, you know,

494
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: and it might not be in an academic intellectual way,

495
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: but you know, like I had my best mate over

496
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 1: this morning, Vinn, and you know, I've got a couple

497
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 1: he's an electrician, I've got a couple of shoes I

498
00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: need to fix. And I just watched him do his

499
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:08,480
Speaker 1: magic right, And it's a kind of intelligence that I

500
00:28:08,600 --> 00:28:13,359
Speaker 1: don't have, Like he did stuff in five minutes that

501
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 1: I couldn't do in five hours. Yet some people would

502
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,919
Speaker 1: think I'm a little bit smart. I go, well, depends

503
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 1: on which room you put me in, Because put me

504
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,880
Speaker 1: in a certain room, I'm the dumbest motherfucker in the room.

505
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,760
Speaker 1: You know, Give me any kind of tool and you

506
00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 1: might as well go have a sleep because nothing will

507
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:31,880
Speaker 1: change anytime soon.

508
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think like that has a lot to

509
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:40,720
Speaker 3: do with how narrow our definitions can be of things. Yes,

510
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 3: what does you know smart mean? Like, yeah, I think

511
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 3: as you get older, and maybe as society evolves as well,

512
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 3: the definition becomes much more broad and you can see

513
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 3: like the different situations and our people can be smart

514
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 3: in different ways. Or you know, you might apply gills

515
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 3: in one situation and not be able to apply it

516
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 3: in another. And I think that's the same for you know,

517
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 3: being intelligent, beauty. I think creativity. I had a very

518
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 3: very narrow definition of creativity and maybe a lot of

519
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 3: other people do too, I don't know, but this idea

520
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:21,160
Speaker 3: of like you're an artist, Like if creativity means you're

521
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 3: an artist, you know, you can't sing or write music

522
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 3: or draw or something like that. And so I always

523
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 3: said I wasn't creative. Let's say I'm just not created

524
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:37,280
Speaker 3: to the point where even on like an application to

525
00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:42,200
Speaker 3: postgraduate school where they had like this thing where you're

526
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 3: meant to get a recommendation from a professor, but my

527
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 3: professor's like, no, I'm happy for you to just fill

528
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 3: it all in yourself. And I was like okay, and

529
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,680
Speaker 3: it was like ranking like me on a few different things,

530
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 3: so research, creativity, blah blah blah. And because I, for

531
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:59,280
Speaker 3: some reason, I'm like the most honest person on earth,

532
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 3: I'm like looking at each of them like, how am I?

533
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 3: You know? How creative am I? And I put myself

534
00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 3: down for it?

535
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:07,200
Speaker 1: Yeah?

536
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 3: Yes, And I'm like that that actually would have affected

537
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,000
Speaker 3: my admissions for sure, because I know that everybody else

538
00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 3: did not do they put themselves up. But it was

539
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 3: because I really didn't think I was. And it has

540
00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:25,840
Speaker 3: really only been in probably the last ten years or that.

541
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, I am, that's so silly. I am creative.

542
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 3: I create things all the time, you know, even in

543
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 3: the in the artistic side of like like taking photographs

544
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 3: that's creative, but but like you know, I don't know,

545
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 3: designing it up that's creative. Creating online programs, been working

546
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,480
Speaker 3: out worksheets that are recording things that are going to

547
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,240
Speaker 3: good for my clients, you know, finding gaps and creating

548
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,280
Speaker 3: something out of nothing. That's all creative. But yeah, it

549
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 3: just wasn't how I saw it. Well.

550
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: I think the collision or the intersection of collect and

551
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:05,640
Speaker 1: creativity is problem solving, right, And you think even in science,

552
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: we're always trying to solve problems, we're always trying to

553
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: understand something, We're always trying to ask the best question. Well,

554
00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 1: that's creative, you know. And when I look at Mark,

555
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 1: my training partner, who you wouldn't call typically creative, because

556
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 1: I think a lot of and I'm being presumptive here,

557
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 1: like is that like a lot of people think of

558
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: creative as oh, he can or she can sing or

559
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 1: dance or write or do poetry, and it's all these

560
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 1: kind of artistic things, these expressions of creativity, whereas I

561
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:46,000
Speaker 1: think most people are creative, just in different ways. Absolutely,

562
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: if you can figure out how to navigate a complex

563
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: into personal situation, well that's creativity because you're solving problems

564
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 1: in real time and you know, and yes, there's some

565
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 1: psych in there and some science in there, and some

566
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 1: self awareness and situational awareness, but you realize you're heading

567
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:08,080
Speaker 1: in a direction this is not good, and then you

568
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: figure out in the middle of that how you might

569
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 1: do better and produce better, and then you you know,

570
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: you intervene with that knowledge, and then all of a sudden,

571
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: you've gone from heading in a shit direction to a

572
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 1: better direction and you've just saved a podcast or a

573
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: pitch for a job or a business meeting or whatever

574
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 1: it was. Yeah, that's creative.

575
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:32,200
Speaker 3: It is like when you said that understanding and creativity

576
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 3: leads to problem solving. I'm like, that's like literally the

577
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 3: definition of therapy. That's what it is.

578
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: Well, you have to be creative, because you are. You know,

579
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 1: you are putting what you know and understand alongside or

580
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:51,240
Speaker 1: in the moment intuition and awareness and then trying to

581
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 1: come up with a practical feasible you know, intervention or

582
00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:01,000
Speaker 1: solution of sorts for that in the visual and no

583
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: one else. Yeah, that's very creative.

584
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree, I'm so creative.

585
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:11,840
Speaker 1: You actually are. But I think the problem is not

586
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 1: that we're not creative. I think it's that we have

587
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 1: a very limited definition. It's like intelligence. It's like intelligence.

588
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,680
Speaker 1: Intelligence is so many more things than being good at school.

589
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 1: Like I would say that intellect of itself, it doesn't

590
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:36,760
Speaker 1: rank as high for me as lots of other different

591
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 1: kinds of intelligence, like practical intelligent intelligence, situational awareness, communication,

592
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 1: you know, like just being able to adapt and survive.

593
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,280
Speaker 1: That's its own kind of intelligence, you know, being able

594
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 1: to write a song, being able to conceptualize something and

595
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 1: then write a book you know, out of your head

596
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: pre chat GPT and without ripping anyone off, like you

597
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 1: literally like the first book I wrote and I'm not

598
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: a joeniust but was twenty five years ago, and it

599
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 1: was all about, you know, my experience are coming to

600
00:34:14,239 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: understand that getting in shape is largely not a physical

601
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 1: process more a psychological and emotional and physical process. Because

602
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,600
Speaker 1: I'd worked with so many people and I've gained so

603
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 1: much real world you know, on the ground at the

604
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 1: coal Face experience, I just started to jot down all

605
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,759
Speaker 1: of the ideas and all of the learnings and that

606
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 1: became a paragraph, and then a bunch of paragraphs, and

607
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,120
Speaker 1: then eventually chapters and then a book.

608
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 3: You know.

609
00:34:42,960 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 1: But that was that was the insection of you know,

610
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 1: a little bit of intuition and paying attention to humans

611
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 1: as well as figuring out how do I share these

612
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 1: ideas in a way that are meaningful and super readable.

613
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I think we're definitely on the same page.

614
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 3: And I think that can actually help solve a lot

615
00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 3: of problems. If when you're judging yourself, if you think

616
00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 3: about how you're defining whenever you're judging yourself, and think

617
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:19,320
Speaker 3: about different ways of defining it, broader ways of defining it.

618
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 3: I think that's really helpful.

619
00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:22,880
Speaker 1: Do you know what else I think is an expression

620
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 1: of creativity or an example and intelligence together is being

621
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,360
Speaker 1: able to, like, you know a lot of stuff, right,

622
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 1: You've got a PhD. Your knowledge is profound compared to

623
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 1: the average person in your field. I mean, compared to

624
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,719
Speaker 1: the average person in your field, I guess you're quite

625
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,840
Speaker 1: respected and somewhere near the top, I would think. But

626
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,520
Speaker 1: what I mean is you have a capacity to share

627
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 1: what can be pretty complicated over people's head stuff in

628
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,320
Speaker 1: a way that isn't complicated or over their head. So

629
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,920
Speaker 1: what you're doing is, in real time you are breaking

630
00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 1: down this this scientifical, psycho psychological construct or theory or

631
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:12,680
Speaker 1: whatever it is, into layman's terms so we can all

632
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 1: not only understand it, but then maybe do something with it.

633
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think that's yeah.

634
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: I agree, that's a gift, you know.

635
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,640
Speaker 3: I think, well, I think it's well, it's thank you,

636
00:36:22,840 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 3: but I think also it's Yeah, it's just about making

637
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 3: things accessible to people. And like I think what you

638
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 3: said before again about therapy being or I said that,

639
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:36,800
Speaker 3: but it was your definition of therapy having had to

640
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 3: you know, be sit with I don't know, thousands of

641
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:45,319
Speaker 3: people in groups or individuals and tailor things to them.

642
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:50,879
Speaker 3: You kind of learn how to translate research evidence into

643
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 3: practical strategies. And then it's then it's about how do you, Yeah,

644
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,839
Speaker 3: how do you tailor it to people's not needs and wants,

645
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 3: but like their preferences and their learning styles. And that's

646
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,400
Speaker 3: kind of what I feel like. That's the direction that

647
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:09,480
Speaker 3: I've gone and is just trying to create things that

648
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 3: cater to as many people as possible and the way

649
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 3: they want the information because we're all different.

650
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:22,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, when people hit me up and ask me what

651
00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: do you doing your research on? Or what's your POHD about?

652
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,400
Speaker 1: And so I think, do I want to open the

653
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:32,600
Speaker 1: whole how you think, how you think about them, how

654
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 1: they think about you, how you think they think about you?

655
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: This kind of cognitive shit fest or this you know?

656
00:37:39,719 --> 00:37:42,840
Speaker 1: And I say, well, let me let me explain it

657
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 1: like this. I go, put up your hand if you've

658
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 1: ever heard your voice on an audio recording. And I've

659
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: told this before, but put up your hand if you've

660
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,799
Speaker 1: ever heard you on a recording and people go, oh,

661
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: my gosh, and then they raise their hand because they

662
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,319
Speaker 1: think they sound shit. Right, I put your hand and down,

663
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: I go, Now, put your hand back up if you

664
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:06,080
Speaker 1: think you sound terrible, and all the hands go back up,

665
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:09,320
Speaker 1: and I go, well, the bad news for you is

666
00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 1: that's how we hear you all the time, right, And

667
00:38:14,320 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 1: that is true. What you think is that whiny, nasally

668
00:38:19,280 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 1: unattractive voice that you heard on a recording, That is

669
00:38:22,600 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 1: precisely what goes in our ears. So your version of

670
00:38:26,480 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 1: you is not our version of you, even auditorially. So

671
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:34,239
Speaker 1: then we zoom back from just the listening experience to

672
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:37,600
Speaker 1: the whole experience. So you go, well, of course you

673
00:38:37,719 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: get it wrong. Of course you do, because the only

674
00:38:40,640 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: person who thinks like you is you, you know. And

675
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 1: there's even a name for that. And I go, there's

676
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 1: a thing called false consensus effect, and that means that

677
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:52,719
Speaker 1: we just assume that people think like us. Well, that's

678
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: a really fucking bad assumption because it's not true. Now,

679
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 1: if you move forward in a conflict solution or you know,

680
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: team meeting or whatever, operating on the assumption that everyone

681
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:10,280
Speaker 1: else in the room thinks like you. You'll produce more problems,

682
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 1: more problems and solutions.

683
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 3: You know. Yeah, yeah, all right, Craig, tell me, what

684
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 3: do you worry about.

685
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 1: I worry about my parents, that's it.

686
00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 3: I don't.

687
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't want to die, but I don't. I

688
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 1: don't overthink, you know how a lot of people that

689
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, it's like back in, but it's not

690
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,840
Speaker 1: even that. I just don't want to be. Yeah, I

691
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:43,040
Speaker 1: would not want to die an unhealthy, long death, you know,

692
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 1: but that doesn't really occupy much my space. Okay, so

693
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,120
Speaker 1: in order, it would be mum and dad, and then

694
00:39:51,160 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 1: it would be and I don't when I say I

695
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,640
Speaker 1: don't worry, I just have. I do worry a bit,

696
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 1: but I have just more of an awareness of them.

697
00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 1: I saw them last night. It was Father's Day. I

698
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,400
Speaker 1: spent time with them, and it was it was actually

699
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: really good. And then then I feel a bit bad

700
00:40:09,280 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 1: because I don't get there enough, you know. But it's

701
00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 1: four hours of driving, you know, And I'm like, and

702
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,400
Speaker 1: then I hear myself coaching me, going, well, what fuck it?

703
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: What's more important than them? And fuck the four hours

704
00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: because in a while there won't be anyone to drive to.

705
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,280
Speaker 1: So and then I'm like, I, you know, reprimand myself,

706
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 1: but it mainly that and other people like I don't.

707
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:39,440
Speaker 1: I don't care so much about stuff at all, you know,

708
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:49,640
Speaker 1: so relationships, not doing the wrong thing by people. I

709
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,839
Speaker 1: used to care a lot more that this is going

710
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,239
Speaker 1: to sound weird, but that I used to worry a

711
00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 1: lot more about what people thought of me. I don't

712
00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:05,280
Speaker 1: so much anymore. I just know that, well, one I'm flawed,

713
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 1: and two I'm going to fuck up, and three, you know,

714
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,239
Speaker 1: people have every right to like me or not like me.

715
00:41:10,320 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 1: I get that, so there's no argument with that. But

716
00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,759
Speaker 1: I don't want to give people. I don't want to

717
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:18,600
Speaker 1: give people a reason to be disappointed in me or

718
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,680
Speaker 1: you know, think I'm a wanker, or I don't want

719
00:41:21,719 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 1: to do that. Like I want to be, you know,

720
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,319
Speaker 1: I want to be the person that my mum thinks

721
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 1: I am. You know that person. You know what's that saying?

722
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,359
Speaker 1: You want to be as good as your dog thinks

723
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: you are, or you know, because dog thinks you're the

724
00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 1: best thing in the world. I want to be as

725
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 1: good as my labrador thinks I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

726
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,560
Speaker 1: that's that's not a lot of other stuff.

727
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you know, kind of like the big things

728
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,520
Speaker 3: in life, you know, your relationships, and.

729
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 1: If you want me to get tiny bit philosophical, I

730
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: really fucking worry about the world. I worry about the

731
00:41:57,640 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 1: next fifty years for him and I won't be here,

732
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 1: but I worry about what that's going to look like.

733
00:42:03,120 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just what do you do with that kind

734
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:11,400
Speaker 3: of worry? Because that is quite a global one. I

735
00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 3: think a lot of people can relate to that. Yeah,

736
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 3: without any political you know, and all of that.

737
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 1: I try not to waste energy on things I can't control.

738
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:28,440
Speaker 1: So even though I say I worry about it, I

739
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:31,439
Speaker 1: don't obsess or ruminate or focus on it. But there's

740
00:42:31,480 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: an underlying just care for the world. It's like, you know,

741
00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:39,480
Speaker 1: like friends have got little friends of mine. I got

742
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 1: little kids and they're four, and I go, fuck, what's

743
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:45,719
Speaker 1: life going to be like when they're fifty four? You know,

744
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 1: what's the world going to look like? So that a

745
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,240
Speaker 1: little bit, but you know, I try, and I encourage

746
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 1: other people to like identify the things that you can

747
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 1: control and can't control, and then invest your energy where

748
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,479
Speaker 1: you're going to get the best return, which of course

749
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:08,240
Speaker 1: is easier said than done, because we're emotional, fear based

750
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 1: creatures at times. Yeah, and so it's very you know,

751
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 1: intellectually and logically, oh, don't well, don't focus on that

752
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:19,520
Speaker 1: because that doesn't change anything. That's good. That's good theoretically,

753
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 1: and it's not terrible advice. But it's like you said,

754
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: I think you said before you know it's or maybe

755
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,240
Speaker 1: we said another time, but it's like telling a worried

756
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 1: person not to worry. It's like, well, or is that

757
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:34,520
Speaker 1: utif it doesn't matter?

758
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 3: That makes sense?

759
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, well, yeah, it's gone up to the

760
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 1: person who's freaking out, they're worried, they're a bit anxious,

761
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 1: having a minor meltdown. You go put your hand on

762
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: their shoulder. Lovely intention but completely fucking unhelpful when you

763
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 1: tell the worried person not to worry, because clearly they

764
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:53,600
Speaker 1: can't just turn it off.

765
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 3: So and even trying to turn it off as like

766
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,359
Speaker 3: counterproductive as well. Yeah.

767
00:43:58,600 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, so yeah, that I try to the things that

768
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,440
Speaker 1: I can do or influence or effect. I try very

769
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 1: much not to talk about political stuff on this show,

770
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:12,680
Speaker 1: just because I think we're inundated with it. And also,

771
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,759
Speaker 1: what the fuck do I know, so I'd rather talk

772
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 1: about human beings and human feelings and human bodies and

773
00:44:19,640 --> 00:44:23,919
Speaker 1: human relationships and the human experience at that level. Yeah,

774
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,360
Speaker 1: and I think rather than me chiming in on politics,

775
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: nobody fucking needs it.

776
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 3: Well, I agree that there's a lot of it, and

777
00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 3: I try. I've been trying to avoid it a lot

778
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 3: as well, just for my own sanity. But also like, yeah,

779
00:44:39,200 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 3: I can relate to that worry of parents and you know,

780
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:44,600
Speaker 3: parents getting older, and I'm all the way across the

781
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 3: world from mine, so I really don't get to see them, yes,

782
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 3: very often. And then also you know, like because we

783
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:56,840
Speaker 3: have children, Like when you have children, the experience of

784
00:44:56,960 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 3: having a child is for I guess most people that

785
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 3: again it's my experience probably a lot of other people,

786
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 3: is that this kind of layer of anxiety washes over you. Yes,

787
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 3: you just can't. It's just part of like being a parent,

788
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:15,880
Speaker 3: because I think evolutionarily it makes sense because anxiety is

789
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 3: there to protect you, and now it's there to protect

790
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 3: you know, your child. Because but yeah, that like I

791
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,960
Speaker 3: wasn't an anxious person. I didn't worry much at all,

792
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,800
Speaker 3: Like before kids, like I was very happy, kind of

793
00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 3: go lucky, I think, But yeah, the experience of having

794
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:41,360
Speaker 3: children really change that and gave me a new perspective

795
00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 3: on what worry and anxiety is. And you know, sometimes

796
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,320
Speaker 3: you can't help things. Like I was telling you before

797
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,600
Speaker 3: the show that, like, I've had an interesting day and

798
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:56,800
Speaker 3: a half. And yes, so my daughter broke her ankle

799
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 3: playing basketball yesterday.

800
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,439
Speaker 1: That's that's a bad injury and it hurts a lot. Yeah.

801
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 3: Well we didn't think she broke it initially because she

802
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 3: didn't cry, you know, like you know when you're like

803
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 3: I've seen her in pain before. Yeah, yeah, and she

804
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 3: just was holding her foot and it didn't look good.

805
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 3: But we're like, oh, maybe it's like dislocated or whatever.

806
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:22,320
Speaker 3: And now it's not dislocated, and yeah, she's gonna have

807
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 3: surgery tomorrow as well.

808
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 1: Oh really yeah oh wow.

809
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:29,200
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's been interesting and so like stuff like

810
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,120
Speaker 3: that will come up. You know, you can't you can't

811
00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:36,279
Speaker 3: control everything, and so it makes sense for worried and

812
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 3: to come up in those situations.

813
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,520
Speaker 1: But I think I think sometimes worry is I mean,

814
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: it's logical, Yeah, if that happened, Like I think, if

815
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 1: I had kids, I would worry much more than I

816
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:57,439
Speaker 1: currently worry like I I probably have issues with getting

817
00:46:57,480 --> 00:47:00,439
Speaker 1: too close to people. I reckon if I had kids,

818
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: i'd be the best dad in the world and the

819
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,719
Speaker 1: worst dad in the world because I think I might

820
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 1: be over protective. I'd hope I wouldn't be. I'd hope

821
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,560
Speaker 1: i'd let them. I'm pretty sure i'd let them just

822
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: fuck up and fall over and get back up.

823
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 3: But it's a real difficult it really is.

824
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 1: It's a juggling act. And I think, like, yeah, I

825
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:24,000
Speaker 1: e a like I a friend of mine had a

826
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 1: kid and somebody hurt his kid and like quite badly,

827
00:47:30,200 --> 00:47:34,640
Speaker 1: like broke his jaw and like just a bully. And

828
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 1: I'm like I was, I was, Oh god, I cannot

829
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:43,839
Speaker 1: tell you how mad I was, as not even my kid,

830
00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 1: but I care about the kid, and then I care

831
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:50,800
Speaker 1: about his dad. Yeah, oh god, this is why I

832
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 1: don't have children.

833
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:56,240
Speaker 3: Probably, Oh no, you'd be amazed. You would be amazing.

834
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 3: I think your first instinct of like you'd be a

835
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:00,480
Speaker 3: great dad. I think that you absolutely would be. And

836
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,040
Speaker 3: I think that that feeling of like wanting to kill

837
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 3: someone if they touch your child is completely.

838
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: Natural to all of the government authorities. I have no

839
00:48:08,880 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: intention of ever killing anyone. I'm just talking about. But

840
00:48:12,160 --> 00:48:13,640
Speaker 1: then at the same time, probably good.

841
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:16,320
Speaker 3: I I have children, Oh no, I have that instinct.

842
00:48:16,400 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 3: Like my my son place footy, like there's any like, yeah,

843
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,279
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm ready to run on that field. I

844
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 3: mean I won't, but I like, I have the instinct

845
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,719
Speaker 3: of wanting to. Yeah, Like he says somebody did something

846
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:33,839
Speaker 3: to him at school, like whether he was a child

847
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,080
Speaker 3: or like now and he's sixteen, I'm like, tell me

848
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 3: who it is, you know, like, and he knows not

849
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,800
Speaker 3: to tell me because he's like, I might do something

850
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,600
Speaker 3: that's good. It's functional to a degree. It's just depending

851
00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:50,000
Speaker 3: on what you actually end up doing. Yeah, my mom my.

852
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 1: Mom ran on a footy field when I got ned

853
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:55,280
Speaker 1: in the face and I put my teeth through my tongue.

854
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 1: Oh no, Mary, I'm like, oh my god. Mary ran

855
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: on the field and was just like waving her fist

856
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:08,720
Speaker 1: and yelling at this like mom, get off the fucking field.

857
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 3: That would have been.

858
00:49:11,320 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: I'm and because I stood up night blood coming out

859
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 1: of my mouth and ran down my neck right so

860
00:49:16,880 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 1: that moms don't want to see that. And it wasn't

861
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 1: The dude's fault. It was like it was just happened

862
00:49:22,600 --> 00:49:25,879
Speaker 1: in play, So it was just an accident. But yeah,

863
00:49:25,960 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 1: she was. She was like that that was going to

864
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,879
Speaker 1: that's it, you're not playing anymore. I'm like, what you're

865
00:49:32,160 --> 00:49:34,920
Speaker 1: telling me, I'm not playing. I'm playing. She's like, I'm

866
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:38,279
Speaker 1: not playing anymore. That's your last game of football. I'm like,

867
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 1: come on, bro, you're five foot tall. You're not going

868
00:49:41,040 --> 00:49:45,880
Speaker 1: to stop me. So my lunch weighs more than you.

869
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:49,160
Speaker 1: Settle down, go sit next to Ron. But yeah, she

870
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:49,880
Speaker 1: wasn't happy.

871
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I can feel for for Mary, and I

872
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,320
Speaker 3: would have felt exactly the same in that situation and

873
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 3: would have definitely run on field probably with I yelled

874
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,399
Speaker 3: at whoever hurt my child. But yeah, you know, accidents happen,

875
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 3: and that's what happened yesterday. It was just an accident.

876
00:50:10,400 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 1: And yeah, well I hope she recovers quick and with

877
00:50:14,600 --> 00:50:15,359
Speaker 1: not too much pain.

878
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:19,479
Speaker 3: Now it'll be all right. So now we talked about worry,

879
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 3: and I know we're coming to the end. Right. How

880
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 3: much longer do we have?

881
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:26,320
Speaker 1: Six? Seven, eight minutes?

882
00:50:26,560 --> 00:50:29,120
Speaker 3: Oh great, that's actually better than I thought. Tell me

883
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 3: what really pisses you off?

884
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 1: Bullies? Uh? People who are thoughtless and selfish, people who

885
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:48,840
Speaker 1: don't genuinely just you know, people who don't pay attention

886
00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,719
Speaker 1: to other people. I'm not talking about looking after other people,

887
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:57,919
Speaker 1: but just you know, just people who are very self

888
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 1: centered and don't care about I was quick story. One minute.

889
00:51:02,200 --> 00:51:06,600
Speaker 1: I was at the gym on Friday night. At my gym,

890
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 1: it's twenty four where I trained. It's twenty four to

891
00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:12,880
Speaker 1: seven Friday night. It's unstaffed. One of the staff there Annie,

892
00:51:12,880 --> 00:51:17,920
Speaker 1: who's amazing. She was their training clients, but she doesn't

893
00:51:17,920 --> 00:51:20,640
Speaker 1: work at reception or anything. And these five guys came

894
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:24,000
Speaker 1: in and they're all young men, like they were probably

895
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:28,120
Speaker 1: sixteen to nineteen, and they all came in and one

896
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:31,400
Speaker 1: guy had a pass and the rest didn't, and they

897
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:34,640
Speaker 1: just came in like a swarm. Well one guy was

898
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:37,319
Speaker 1: a member, four weren't. And they were about to walk

899
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 1: up the stairs and Annie walked down the stairs and

900
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,960
Speaker 1: bumped into them and said, oh, can I help you boys?

901
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 1: And they're like no, we're good, and they're like, well, sorry,

902
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:52,360
Speaker 1: what do you Anyway, they were just trying to bluff

903
00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:54,920
Speaker 1: her and bully her so they could go work out.

904
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 1: And Annie looked at me, and I was about twenty

905
00:51:58,080 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 1: feet away, and so I just came over and I

906
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 1: stood in front of her, and there was Remember there's

907
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 1: five of them, right, and they're all like pig you know,

908
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 1: kids are big. Now. I go, what's going on, boys?

909
00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,800
Speaker 1: And they go, oh, we're just going to do a workout.

910
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 1: We're going to see if we like it. You can't

911
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:15,840
Speaker 1: do that. There's no staff here. And I go, who's

912
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 1: got a membership? And this guy puts up. He goes, oh,

913
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:19,879
Speaker 1: I've got a membership. I'll go, well, you can train.

914
00:52:20,239 --> 00:52:22,480
Speaker 1: The other four of you you can't train. And then

915
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,160
Speaker 1: like ah, but ah, but I go, not listening to me,

916
00:52:25,239 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 1: you can't train. I didn't elevate my voice. I just

917
00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,080
Speaker 1: said you can't train. Oh yeah, but we want to

918
00:52:30,120 --> 00:52:32,239
Speaker 1: do a trial. I go, cool, you can do a trial,

919
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,440
Speaker 1: but not when there's no staff here. None of you

920
00:52:35,520 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 1: have got memberships except you. And it doesn't matter how

921
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:41,000
Speaker 1: many ways you ask. You can ask me for the

922
00:52:41,080 --> 00:52:41,840
Speaker 1: next half hours.

923
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 3: This is no.

924
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 1: And they went back and they just turned around and

925
00:52:45,760 --> 00:52:48,919
Speaker 1: walked down. I went, see ya, But that where people

926
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 1: are just fucking rude and blind people and trying to intimidate,

927
00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 1: you know, a lady, like a sixty year old lady.

928
00:52:57,200 --> 00:53:00,799
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck you, you're definitely not training. That's all

929
00:53:00,840 --> 00:53:01,320
Speaker 1: that stuff.

930
00:53:01,719 --> 00:53:06,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you usually express anger and frustration and.

931
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:12,560
Speaker 1: No, I don't. I don't really get elevated. No, Like,

932
00:53:12,640 --> 00:53:14,880
Speaker 1: if somebody is rude to me, I will go, Like

933
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 1: in a shop, when they're I mean that have to

934
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,000
Speaker 1: be pretty rude, especially when it's in customer service and

935
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:22,279
Speaker 1: it's clearly they don't want to clear, they don't want

936
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:26,719
Speaker 1: to serve you, or I just go, it's not okay

937
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,400
Speaker 1: for you to be rude to me. That's it. And

938
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,800
Speaker 1: they look at me like what. I go, it's not

939
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 1: okay for you to be rude to me. Maybe other

940
00:53:33,880 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 1: people will put up with it. I won't, So either

941
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:39,200
Speaker 1: be polite. Don't need to be my best friend, just

942
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 1: be polite, or go find me someone who's polite.

943
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 3: Just I hat ah, that's pretty amazing. Would you do that, Tiffany?

944
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:49,279
Speaker 3: Is that something you've ever done?

945
00:53:49,600 --> 00:53:51,520
Speaker 2: It's not something I've ever done, but I love it.

946
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 3: I love it too.

947
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:55,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, people will treat you how you

948
00:53:55,480 --> 00:53:57,800
Speaker 1: let them. Yeah, when people just are rude, I go,

949
00:53:58,000 --> 00:53:59,719
Speaker 1: I go, hey, mate, it's not okay to be rude

950
00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:01,480
Speaker 1: to me. I don't know if anyone's ever told you

951
00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:05,719
Speaker 1: it's almost they get shocked. I go, maybe other people

952
00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:08,919
Speaker 1: are cool. I'm not cool, so start again, don't be rude.

953
00:54:09,640 --> 00:54:16,319
Speaker 1: And they never ac up, never because I don't ac up.

954
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,719
Speaker 1: Like I shouldn't say this because next time someone will

955
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 1: fucking aark up. But you know, or they might get

956
00:54:21,520 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 1: a bit grumpy, or they might walk off. I've had

957
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:26,319
Speaker 1: people just walk off and someone else, someone different, come back.

958
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:29,439
Speaker 1: I'm like cool and they were polite. I'm like, great,

959
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 1: it's all I want. Like I'm not special. But if

960
00:54:33,280 --> 00:54:37,359
Speaker 1: I'm going somewhere, which is essentially a customer service business, yeah,

961
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:40,320
Speaker 1: and someone treats me like I'm a problem.

962
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:45,800
Speaker 4: In their day, yeah, fuck you, Like fuck you don't

963
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:48,240
Speaker 4: do this job if you don't want to serve people,

964
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:50,960
Speaker 4: because it's the definition of the industry.

965
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 1: It's called customer service.

966
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally. I love that, Like it's I think it's

967
00:54:57,239 --> 00:55:00,480
Speaker 3: like the fuck he was on the inside though, Yeah,

968
00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:01,880
Speaker 3: And the way you express it.

969
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:07,040
Speaker 1: Is like, oh, yeah, I don't elevate. I don't swear,

970
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:09,799
Speaker 1: I don't elevate. I don't I'm not rude. I don't

971
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,640
Speaker 1: finger point. Yeah, I just talk like I'm talking now.

972
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:18,040
Speaker 1: And because I say that and it doesn't sound aggressive

973
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:22,359
Speaker 1: because it's not, it's almost confusing for them. Yeah.

974
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:27,080
Speaker 3: So yeah, because what often will happen And this has

975
00:55:27,120 --> 00:55:31,200
Speaker 3: happened with me and I'm sure a lot of other people.

976
00:55:31,320 --> 00:55:33,359
Speaker 3: But like, if someone's rude to you, you just rude

977
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:36,759
Speaker 3: back because you don't put out, you're not going to

978
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 3: put up with it. Yeah so, but but you're but

979
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:43,239
Speaker 3: you're doing something also ineffective because that's not going to

980
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:44,760
Speaker 3: change their behavior.

981
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 1: Can I also sorry, can I put in a disclaimer?

982
00:55:48,520 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 1: I would be I'm not like I can read things

983
00:55:53,239 --> 00:55:57,400
Speaker 1: pretty well. If if somebody I would just my uh,

984
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:02,399
Speaker 1: my asterisk would be if you feel like you could

985
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 1: be in danger, don't do that of course, Like if

986
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,680
Speaker 1: you're a if you're a lady and you're smaller and

987
00:56:08,880 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 1: not as strong and somebody could hurt you, then just

988
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,080
Speaker 1: maybe you know, I think it's about context and situation.

989
00:56:16,880 --> 00:56:21,360
Speaker 1: But in general terms, I believe that especially in customer

990
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 1: service stuff. You know, it's like when people try and

991
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:31,120
Speaker 1: sell me something like on Hampton Street. I've been accusted

992
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:34,920
Speaker 1: or accosted a hundred times where I'm walking down Hampton

993
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:38,879
Speaker 1: Street and people want to sell you something or can

994
00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:42,279
Speaker 1: I just ask you ten questions? I go no, and

995
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 1: I just keep walking. They go, oh, can I ask why?

996
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:48,160
Speaker 1: I go no, and I just keep walking Like the

997
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:51,320
Speaker 1: question was can I and the answer is no? And

998
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:54,080
Speaker 1: then oh, well then can I ask why? Also?

999
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 3: No? See?

1000
00:56:55,239 --> 00:57:00,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I don't need and look, it depends I'm

1001
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 1: not prick, but I will do it sometimes and I will,

1002
00:57:03,320 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: you know, it depends on. But if I'm hurrying somewhere

1003
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,960
Speaker 1: and I know that it's really someone trying to sell

1004
00:57:09,040 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 1: me a fucking timeshare on Lindhaman Island, it's really just

1005
00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:18,800
Speaker 1: a curtain to pull back to show me the opportunity.

1006
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, and you don't. Here's the thing you

1007
00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 1: don't have to explain to people your personal decisions, especially

1008
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:30,120
Speaker 1: it's anger trying to sell you something. Yeah, I can

1009
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 1: ask you why not no, just go.

1010
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 3: Yeah. I think there's lots of ways of being effective

1011
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 3: in those situations, but sometimes you're not the one in control.

1012
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 3: Someone's like continuing to bother you.

1013
00:57:43,720 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 1: You can, especially with that multi level marketing ship multi

1014
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,720
Speaker 1: level marketing when they are literally taught to not pay

1015
00:57:50,800 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 1: attention when people say no, right, you know they are

1016
00:57:54,200 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 1: trained to overcome objections, right, so they are trained. It's

1017
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:04,520
Speaker 1: like they are told, Okay, you ask a question, person

1018
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 1: says I'm not interested. You ignore that. How fucking unethical

1019
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:11,760
Speaker 1: is that? Yeah, and all you organizations that do that,

1020
00:58:12,200 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 1: you should be fucking ashamed of yourself to do that.

1021
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 1: When someone you asked them a question and the person

1022
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:21,960
Speaker 1: politely says no, thank you or I'm not interested, then

1023
00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 1: you with your clipboard fuck off.

1024
00:58:26,760 --> 00:58:28,760
Speaker 3: I really got the anger out of you today, didn't

1025
00:58:28,800 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 3: I cray? I love it.

1026
00:58:30,320 --> 00:58:32,240
Speaker 1: But do either of you disagree with me?

1027
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 3: No? I don't disagree. I have had a recent thing

1028
00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:38,840
Speaker 3: happened to me when my daughter and I were in

1029
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 3: London recently and someone came up to it like literally

1030
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 3: the same situation, yeah, very nice. I was like, I

1031
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 3: was in a good mood. I wasn't being rude. I

1032
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:50,160
Speaker 3: was like super polite, happy to like entertain a little

1033
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 3: conversation as we're walking down the street. But when he

1034
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:56,960
Speaker 3: just got no several times politely, then it was like, oh,

1035
00:58:57,280 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 3: well you must not like children, and you know, like

1036
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:01,560
Speaker 3: he actually became.

1037
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:03,080
Speaker 1: Very aggressive rude.

1038
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:06,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I just like I was with my daughter too,

1039
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 3: and I'm like, I'm like, let's just walk across the

1040
00:59:08,640 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 3: street because this guy is like not leaving us alones.

1041
00:59:11,120 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 3: We just walked across the street and then we were

1042
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 3: at a pace and then my daughter looked behind us

1043
00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:18,720
Speaker 3: and she's like, oh, he's cross the street as well,

1044
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:20,360
Speaker 3: and I'm like, don't worry, We're just going to keep

1045
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 3: walking and he's going to like and he stopped following us.

1046
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:26,520
Speaker 3: But I'm like, that's so like I'm necessary.

1047
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,439
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right, that's right. And there will be times when,

1048
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 1: you know, like if I see somebody. Conversely, if I

1049
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 1: see somebody on the street who's upset, I will go

1050
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 1: up and say are you okay? Like I love people,

1051
00:59:39,360 --> 00:59:43,160
Speaker 1: but I hate bullying and I hate that. You know,

1052
00:59:43,360 --> 00:59:46,800
Speaker 1: when you politely say no thanks, I'm not interested, and

1053
00:59:46,880 --> 00:59:49,880
Speaker 1: then maybe you repeat it again a version of no

1054
00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 1: thank you, I'm not interested. Now this is me saying

1055
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:54,840
Speaker 1: no twice politely.

1056
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:55,400
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1057
00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 1: Now if you keep going, you're not going to like it.

1058
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 1: You know, it's just got to be otherwise, there's no

1059
01:00:02,560 --> 01:00:05,560
Speaker 1: when people can treat people badly and there are no consequences.

1060
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:07,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, there have to be a boundaries set.

1061
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 1: When when you can commit crimes in Melbourne with machetes

1062
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 1: and have hundreds of charges and you know you're a

1063
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,800
Speaker 1: certain age and you will not go to jail, Well,

1064
01:00:20,480 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: of course you're going to keep doing it if you're

1065
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:27,560
Speaker 1: that kind of person, because there's no significant reason not to.

1066
01:00:28,960 --> 01:00:31,240
Speaker 1: This is people do what they think they can get

1067
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 1: away with. I just got political.

1068
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:36,800
Speaker 3: Fuck you did, Craig.

1069
01:00:37,960 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 1: I just I find that stuff so insane.

1070
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, so insane.

1071
01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 1: It's so insane. I'm like, and yeah, anyway, I'll be quiet,

1072
01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 1: Doctor Lillian. It's been great. Thank you for quizzing me

1073
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 1: and opening that door. Clearly I have anger issues back

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01:00:56,400 --> 01:00:58,680
Speaker 1: in therapy for me, I'll have to book I'll have

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01:00:58,760 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 1: to book in with you.

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01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:02,680
Speaker 3: I think your anger is super functional. Well, thank you,

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01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 3: it doesn't seem to be a problem.

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01:01:06,280 --> 01:01:07,960
Speaker 1: Tell people how to connect with you.

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01:01:08,880 --> 01:01:11,720
Speaker 3: Well, why don't you visit me at doctor Lilies dot

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01:01:11,800 --> 01:01:14,320
Speaker 3: com where you can find lots of free resources and

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01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:19,320
Speaker 3: if you're interested in reducing your worries, then Contain your

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01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:22,040
Speaker 3: Brain is a free app that you can download.

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01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: And if you want some high performance coaching with Tiff,

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01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:30,040
Speaker 1: She's very expensive, but word has it on the street

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01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 1: pretty fucking good. Where can people reach you? Cook gifcook

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01:01:34,680 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 1: dot com. There you go, boom two ladies to choose

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01:01:38,840 --> 01:01:43,120
Speaker 1: from both amazing and the fat fuck in the middle.

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01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:45,440
Speaker 3: Just you know, how do we reach him?

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01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 1: No, not at all, at all.

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01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 3: We want to. You know, we're hoping that you'll be

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01:01:52,560 --> 01:01:54,240
Speaker 3: in concert and we can come to your show.

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01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:59,200
Speaker 1: Yeah. Sure, I'll just restring my guitar and get Macallis's

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01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:02,520
Speaker 1: back on my fingers and uh maybe me, me, me,

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01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:07,960
Speaker 1: just tune that voice back in. All right, ladies, we'll

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01:02:08,000 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 1: say goodbye here, but thanks for that was fun.

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Speaker 3: Bye bye.