Speaker 1: I feel like our podcast is just me constantly correcting
Speaker 1: your words.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just I don't just can't speak properly? Can I?
Speaker 2: Who would have thought? Might I have a podcast? Then?
Speaker 3: Where's Your Head At?
Speaker 1: Is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV,
Speaker 1: trending shows, and everything in between.
Speaker 2: This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip,
Speaker 2: intimate details, advice, and much more.
Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to Where's Your Head At?
Speaker 3: Hi, mad Hello Anna?
Speaker 2: How are you going?
Speaker 3: I'm good. We are still away. So this is a
Speaker 3: pre recorded episode.
Speaker 2: We're in Greece. We are I would have just I'll
Speaker 2: be on my way back.
Speaker 1: Okay, I would have just finished our friend moon. And
Speaker 1: this is the first ever our honeymoon.
Speaker 2: What is a friend moon?
Speaker 1: So basically, obviously we're having an international wedding. We're all
Speaker 1: going to be in Greece, and I invited my best
Speaker 1: friends to come on from a moon. It's literally from
Speaker 1: Corfu to mike Itos one hundred and fifty dollars flight.
Speaker 1: So we were like, when on earth will you ever
Speaker 1: be in Mickinos with all of your best friends? And
Speaker 1: it's literally it's so funny because it's been a bucket
Speaker 1: list of mine for the longest time, and I remember
Speaker 1: thinking it's just one of those things that's never gonna happen,
Speaker 1: and that's okay, Like I'm okay with it.
Speaker 3: But then obviously we've had.
Speaker 1: A wedding in Corfu and we're so close, and like
Speaker 1: I think as well, like the wedding, we have obviously
Speaker 1: a few different events, but then after it, everyone's kind
Speaker 1: of doing their own thing. And I kind of floated
Speaker 1: the idea with everyone and was like, however, one feeling
Speaker 1: about going to Mikinos for three days. We can all
Speaker 1: get a big villa together. It'll be really fun. And
Speaker 1: everyone was like, yes, we're totally on board. Obviously you
Speaker 1: can't come, which is totally fine, but my bridesmaids and
Speaker 1: some of Michael's grooms party are going. We have this
Speaker 1: maze house. It's called Villa Aphrodite, so the Villa of Love,
Speaker 1: which is very like, you know, post wedding, it's very fitting.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we're going on a friend moon and then
Speaker 1: from there everyone's going separate ways. So in real time,
Speaker 1: I will be on the first day of my honeymoon.
Speaker 1: From my honeymoon, we're going to Turkey. But when we
Speaker 1: get back, we're going to.
Speaker 3: Do a full recap of all of that.
Speaker 1: So for today, I decided that I was going to
Speaker 1: give everyone a little bit of wisdom, and I'm going
Speaker 1: to do everything I've learned about love before getting married
Speaker 1: and the things I wish I knew sooner.
Speaker 3: Let's jump in.
Speaker 2: Okay, So these are some stuff that Anna has written
Speaker 2: down that she thinks she needs to pass on or
Speaker 2: would like to pass on to our listeners, that she
Speaker 2: has learned on her journey to find the love of
Speaker 2: her life.
Speaker 3: Exactly.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, the first one is pretty simple and it's
Speaker 1: never date potential. So essentially that basically means that people
Speaker 1: show you who they are, believe what they show you.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think for me, I used to always say, oh,
Speaker 1: he's perfect, but like, you know, if this would just
Speaker 1: change or if that would just change, then like things
Speaker 1: would be amazing. And I think the lesson there is
Speaker 1: like people show you who they are, don't wish them
Speaker 1: to be someone different, and don't say, well, if this
Speaker 1: part of them didn't exist and that part of them
Speaker 1: didn't exist, then everything would be perfect.
Speaker 2: But isn't there a saying or something that should you
Speaker 2: not change for someone you love, or should you change
Speaker 2: some stuff? Like what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Like is it I think it's about compatibility, Like I
Speaker 1: think in relationships, people are either compatible with each other
Speaker 1: or they're not.
Speaker 2: So what for instance, So say like it's something that
Speaker 2: like it's an actual behavior that they do.
Speaker 1: Or something that you just literally can't agree on, or
Speaker 1: like there's a part of your personalities that just don't
Speaker 1: mesh well, Like with my ex one of my exes,
Speaker 1: we would literally argue until like three in the morning
Speaker 1: because we were both so stubborn and our relationship. I
Speaker 1: would be like, it's so good, but we just like
Speaker 1: are both so stubborn in button heads to the maximum,
Speaker 1: and we argue for hours and hours on end, and
Speaker 1: it was emotionally draining and I was exhausted, and I
Speaker 1: would say things like, if this just didn't happen, then
Speaker 1: it would be a perfect relationship. But the thing is
Speaker 1: is that stuff did happen often, and so it wasn't
Speaker 1: a perfect relationship.
Speaker 3: It was actually a really shit relationship.
Speaker 1: But I just couldn't really see that because I was
Speaker 1: convincing myself that it was perfect if this wasn't in
Speaker 1: the relationship, or if that wasn't in the relationship.
Speaker 3: So that's number one.
Speaker 2: Number one.
Speaker 1: The next one, it's better to be single than dating
Speaker 1: someone who isn't the one for the sake of being
Speaker 1: in a relationship.
Speaker 2: I agree with that.
Speaker 1: Have you ever dated someone just because you didn't want
Speaker 1: to be alone. I don't think I've ever been in
Speaker 1: a relationship with someone.
Speaker 2: I was going to say a relationship, but.
Speaker 1: I've definitely like dated people for longer just because I
Speaker 1: was lonely.
Speaker 2: You want to go on dates with them and have
Speaker 2: sex with someone, Yeah, dude, I feel like I be
Speaker 2: now in the dating game for Asia. It's like some
Speaker 2: what people do.
Speaker 3: Of course they do.
Speaker 2: It's cruel.
Speaker 3: Yes, I used to do that with being there.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: But what I'm saying is is like I feel like
Speaker 1: sometimes people get stuck into relationships just because they don't
Speaker 1: want to be alone. It's like the winter relationship, you know,
Speaker 1: people like get into a relationship.
Speaker 2: In may or they're scared to leave.
Speaker 3: Or they're scared to leave. Absolutely.
Speaker 1: Next one, being agreeable so people like you never works.
Speaker 1: If someone disrespects you, set a boundary. If they're mean
Speaker 1: to you, do not ignore it.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 3: I think that's a big one.
Speaker 1: I think like there's so many times, and I feel
Speaker 1: like as women as well, like there's so many times
Speaker 1: where you're just agreeable because you don't want to start
Speaker 1: conflict or you don't want to rock the boat.
Speaker 2: Isn't there a like argument though, Like you've got to
Speaker 2: pick your fights. So, like imagine just some of the
Speaker 2: stuff that I just really people get angry about, Like
Speaker 2: why I pick a fight for it?
Speaker 3: I don't think it's picking a fight.
Speaker 1: I think if someone's blatantly disrespecting you, they're picking a fight,
Speaker 1: and you need to be like this isn't okay.
Speaker 2: That would be a healthy relationship, respecting each other's boundaries.
Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: But it's like if it's a healthy relationship if someone's
Speaker 2: respecting your boundaries though, so you wouldn't have an argument
Speaker 2: that way.
Speaker 1: So the point is is if someone's being mean to you,
Speaker 1: don't just ignore it just to be like agreeing with it.
Speaker 2: I was talking about happy wife, happy life, so it
Speaker 2: was in like, I mean, if you get frustrated if
Speaker 2: someone leaves their clothes on the ground or something like that.
Speaker 3: Different.
Speaker 1: I think we're talking in this scenario about like if
Speaker 1: someone's being blatantly mean to you, don't ignore it if.
Speaker 2: Someone's like, what happens if they're having an off day?
Speaker 1: If someone's having an off day, like it's it's obviously
Speaker 1: acceptable for people to have off days. But you still
Speaker 1: never be the target of someone's like and I anger
Speaker 1: or frustration, and you can say that to them, like,
Speaker 1: it's not like I'm never like take things out on Michael.
Speaker 3: But he won't accept it.
Speaker 1: He'll be like, Babe, you'll be a bit mean and like,
Speaker 1: you know, talk me through it, and then we have
Speaker 1: a really healthy conversation and we move past it. You know,
Speaker 1: next one that I wish I knew sooner. I feel
Speaker 1: like this one is so important. Don't take rejection personally
Speaker 1: because ninety nine point nine percent of the people you
Speaker 1: date it won't work out with.
Speaker 2: I learned, and I agree with that, I reckon. I
Speaker 2: learned that through modeling. You know, when you went overseas
Speaker 2: and you'd go to modeling castings. I remember Milan in London, Like,
Speaker 2: your agents would send you to a casting and you'd
Speaker 2: get rejected over and over again. Yeah, but then what
Speaker 2: made me understand it was it made me feel better
Speaker 2: was they're cattle calling, like they're sending you to different castings.
Speaker 2: But people, the people casting the brand and are looking,
Speaker 2: for instance, the color green and you're purple. You're not
Speaker 2: what they want. Yeah, do you know? So that goes
Speaker 2: the same in dating. Someone's looking for maybe moron or blue,
Speaker 2: but you're orange.
Speaker 3: I love this analogy. It does make sense.
Speaker 1: And that's the thing is like, you can date someone
Speaker 1: and there's nothing wrong with you, but you, guys, just
Speaker 1: like when you meet the love of your life, there's
Speaker 1: sparks and there's feelings, and it's more than just you know,
Speaker 1: if you're a nice person or if you're good looking,
Speaker 1: it's more than that.
Speaker 3: And I think that's what you need to remember. It's
Speaker 3: not personal.
Speaker 2: And we've been on plenty of dates where they've just
Speaker 2: been flops and you haven't felt anything. And we're both
Speaker 2: now or you're married, I'm engaged because the first date
Speaker 2: was obviously amazing.
Speaker 3: How God the first day? Okay, Matte, you're ready.
Speaker 1: Always dating is like doing a research project. You begin
Speaker 1: to find the things that you love and you must have,
Speaker 1: the things that you're an absolute deal breaker, and the
Speaker 1: things that you're willing to compromise on. So the more
Speaker 1: dates you go on the more you kind of learn,
Speaker 1: and your research project continues and you get more pieces
Speaker 1: to the puzzle, until finally you're like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I thought that this was a must for me. I'm
Speaker 1: willing to compromise on it, but this person needs to
Speaker 1: make me last.
Speaker 2: I see people post like tiktoks and then like, I've
Speaker 2: been on X amount of dates I've been doing this.
Speaker 2: I can't find the person. Take it as like you said,
Speaker 2: research and learning curves that you're learning from every single day,
Speaker 2: and you're taking something.
Speaker 1: Away absolutely, and like, learn from each scenario, even if
Speaker 1: you go on the worst date of your life, what
Speaker 1: is the takeaway from it? Okay, next one, Enjoy the
Speaker 1: era of your life that you're in it. Don't wish
Speaker 1: any part away. So one of my friends was like,
Speaker 1: it's so amazing that you're getting married. I just want
Speaker 1: to get married now. It's like so fun. I've been
Speaker 1: planning my wedding even though I have a boyfriend. And
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I love that, and like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so exciting. Like my wedding era has been my
Speaker 1: most exciting era of my life.
Speaker 3: It's been so fun. But also a lot.
Speaker 1: Of people who are in relationships, Go, I wish I
Speaker 1: was single if single was so fun.
Speaker 3: I loved being single.
Speaker 1: And it's like each era that you're in is such
Speaker 1: a special time for its own different reasons, and like
Speaker 1: each era brings positives and negatives.
Speaker 2: Right, It's like the grass is greener on the other
Speaker 2: Side's sort of analogy. It's not. It's just enjoy where
Speaker 2: you're at.
Speaker 1: Like, if you're single right now, this could be the
Speaker 1: last time in your whole life that you're single, because
Speaker 1: tomorrow you could meet the love of your life and
Speaker 1: you will never be single again.
Speaker 2: Just enjoy where you're at. Enjoy the moment, be present.
Speaker 1: Okay, this one's a big one, and I started to
Speaker 1: do this a lot more in my mid twenties, and
Speaker 1: that is to listen to your gut always.
Speaker 2: Yeah, women's intuition as well, but.
Speaker 1: Yeah, women's intuition, but also that gut feeling which we
Speaker 1: all have. I feel like, if your gut feels drop
Speaker 1: and you feel stressed, and you have tummy pains and
Speaker 1: you just feel generally unwell, your body is screaming at
Speaker 1: you to run, listen to that feeling because your gut
Speaker 1: doesn't lie.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I agree. You got to listen to your gut.
Speaker 2: Women's intubition, and no one knows you like you know yourself.
Speaker 2: So listen to what your inner thoughts are and take
Speaker 2: them on board.
Speaker 1: So interestingly, Matt, I just looked up the science behind
Speaker 1: a gut feeling, and it says that your gut is
Speaker 1: lined with around five hundred million neurons. That's nearly five
Speaker 1: times more than in your spinal cord that makes up
Speaker 1: the electric nervous system, also called your second brain.
Speaker 2: I don't think my gut is my brain, but I
Speaker 2: know what you're saying.
Speaker 3: It's like a second brain. There's so many neurons in there.
Speaker 2: Think about like feel like the energy or can feel
Speaker 2: like a gut feeling?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it knows like when something's off you feel it
Speaker 1: in your guard.
Speaker 3: It's not just.
Speaker 2: Like that, like when you walk in somewhere and you're like,
Speaker 2: oh it feels.
Speaker 1: A bit, feel a bit, or or if you talk
Speaker 1: to someone at like you know, let's just say someone
Speaker 1: at a supermarket and they give you a really bad
Speaker 1: vibe and your gut goes alert. Yeah, this is a
Speaker 1: dangerous person or this isn't a safe place for me,
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be around this person.
Speaker 2: Or say someone you even know, and you go, oh,
Speaker 2: I feel like you feel off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay. The next one is if someone is gonna
Speaker 1: cheat on you, they're gonna cheat, don't disrupt your own
Speaker 1: peace by trying to catch them out.
Speaker 3: So when I was younger, I agree with that.
Speaker 1: I literally would constantly check my boyfriend's phones or like
Speaker 1: if they would go to sleep, I would like wake
Speaker 1: up in the middle of the night and like go
Speaker 1: through their phones to see if I could find anything.
Speaker 3: And I always would find something that would piss me.
Speaker 2: Off or like, you know what would it be just something.
Speaker 1: So it could be like, you know, a snapchat photo
Speaker 1: or like whatever it was. But anyway, I would literally
Speaker 1: not be at peace because I would be thinking about
Speaker 1: when I'm gonna look at their phone next, and I
Speaker 1: would be constantly like seeing things. For one relationship, I
Speaker 1: had my ex's Instagram and I would be like constantly
Speaker 1: refreshing it seeing if anyone messaged. My brain would just
Speaker 1: be so focused on all of that that I had
Speaker 1: no peace. I was constantly stressed and constantly looking for
Speaker 1: danger and constantly looking for something wrong. And I think
Speaker 1: something that I've learned in specifically this relationship with Michael
Speaker 1: and in my thirties, is that I value my own piece.
Speaker 1: If someone is if Michael's going to cheat on me,
Speaker 1: he is literally gonna cheat on me. It doesn't matter
Speaker 1: how overbearing or how much I look at his phone.
Speaker 1: If there's a will, there's a fucking way, and I
Speaker 1: think I will trust until the death and if something happens,
Speaker 1: then it's shame on him, not shame on me. But
Speaker 1: at least I've been in peace the whole relationship.
Speaker 2: And some people say that being possessive and all that
Speaker 2: sort of stuff even pushes people to do that.
Speaker 3: Because they don't feel like they.
Speaker 2: Have freedom, And yeah, I've heard that as well.
Speaker 1: I think as well, like looking back on past relationships,
Speaker 1: when you think someone's cheating on you or you're trying
Speaker 1: to catch them out, it kind of corrupts your image
Speaker 1: of them because you don't have the trust. You're constantly
Speaker 1: like viewing them as like a threatening person or they're
Speaker 1: going to do something wrong, or you're looking for something.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what I mean. You're twisting stuff they do
Speaker 2: to make it lack as if they are.
Speaker 3: And then you're not communicating with them.
Speaker 1: Also, another point because instead of directly communicating with them,
Speaker 1: you're kind of like sneakily trying to find out information
Speaker 1: instead of just talking to them and setting up boundaries
Speaker 1: so that those boundaries aren't crossed.
Speaker 2: I totally agree with that.
Speaker 1: Okay, next one, it's not what you fight about that
Speaker 1: kills a relationship, it's how you fight with your partner
Speaker 1: and how you recover.
Speaker 2: I agree with this completely. Everything I see on TikTok,
Speaker 2: and that is relationships have conflict. Every relationship has arguments.
Speaker 2: I said before, when you have a guy and a
Speaker 2: girl meet each other, they're two different people one a
Speaker 2: guy and a girl. They're not going to see things
Speaker 2: the same way. They have two different upbringings, so they
Speaker 2: have two different parents that have raised them, so they
Speaker 2: have different point of views, and they have two different
Speaker 2: life experiences which shapes their opinion and their way of
Speaker 2: views on things. So they're not going to agree on everything.
Speaker 2: So like you said, they're going to argue. It's just
Speaker 2: more about how you resolve it. And so they have
Speaker 2: a firm belief on something that's like not right. Do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: I don't agree on and you.
Speaker 2: Don't agree on like that it's just you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, then that's a little bit different. But if
Speaker 2: it's something like fuck, I don't know, like they think
Speaker 2: that chocolate goes in the fridge or fucking you know
Speaker 2: what I mean, or ketchup goes into the pantry or
Speaker 2: something like that, Like, just don't argue about it. It's
Speaker 2: not worth arguing about. It's not worth a screaming match.
Speaker 1: When I look back on past relationships, I definitely think
Speaker 1: that the way you argue with someone is super important,
Speaker 1: and the recovery is so important, Like you need to
Speaker 1: be able to recover within an hour, like depending on
Speaker 1: what it is, of course, but like if it's something
Speaker 1: that's not going to matter in five years time, you
Speaker 1: need to recover quickly because I think the longer you
Speaker 1: let fights go on, it kind of festers and it
Speaker 1: kills the relationship. I trying to believe that, like with
Speaker 1: X's of mine, we would fight for hours on end.
Speaker 1: So when you look back at pass relationships and fights,
Speaker 1: the longer those fights go on, the more resentment builds
Speaker 1: up in the relationship, and it just kills a relationship.
Speaker 1: It's literally the quickest way to ruin your relationship by
Speaker 1: holding onto things, So I think really getting good at
Speaker 1: recovering quickly. Michael and I, out of every relationship I've
Speaker 1: ever been in, we have never had an argument bar
Speaker 1: one that hasn't recovered within thirty minutes. Like there was
Speaker 1: one big one, and I think it took us like
Speaker 1: a couple of days. But other than that, thirty minutes bang,
Speaker 1: like one of us comes over, we say we love
Speaker 1: each other, let's make up, and we're silly and we're
Speaker 1: laughing and we're joking and we're moving on with life.
Speaker 1: The longer we leave things, the worst it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: Sex is not love.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Lust is not love.
Speaker 3: Lust is not love. Sex is not love.
Speaker 1: I think it's like hard, especially when you're younger, like
Speaker 1: you get a.
Speaker 3: Little weird, not confused, and it's.
Speaker 1: Like you know, you have sex with the first like
Speaker 1: love of your life and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: and love. But really, sex is not love and lust
Speaker 1: is not love. And I think love is something that
Speaker 1: grows over time. And I think you really need to
Speaker 1: know the person before you love them. And yes, we
Speaker 1: might feel those feelings of oh my god, I love you,
Speaker 1: but I don't think you can truly love someone until
Speaker 1: you know their morals, you know what they stand for,
Speaker 1: and if you mesh well as well.
Speaker 2: I was thinking while you were saying that, like, well,
Speaker 2: when you're a young boy, like, it's definitely get those
Speaker 2: two mixed stuff. Yeah, it's a young twenty year old
Speaker 2: Rosston love. Yeah. Yeah, you think you love this girl,
Speaker 2: but she just really attracted to her.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: This one's kind of on the same level, and that
Speaker 1: is that you will get over heartbreak. I don't know
Speaker 1: about your first heartbreak, but mine was like horrendous. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm never getting over this. And I think
Speaker 1: the message on my lessons that I learned before marriage
Speaker 1: is the first heartbreak, it's.
Speaker 3: Only just the beginning of many, many more to come.
Speaker 2: And does it get easier.
Speaker 1: I think it does get easier because I think you
Speaker 1: remember that you got over the first one.
Speaker 3: The first one is still hard. Was your first one hard?
Speaker 2: Yeah? My first one was pretty rude.
Speaker 3: My first one was I genuinely thought like my life
Speaker 3: was over. It's like, what is the point of being
Speaker 3: here anymore?
Speaker 2: I remember sitting I remember standing at a train station
Speaker 2: with I forgot my umbrella, just in the rain, just
Speaker 2: standing there waiting for like six am. And cold drench
Speaker 2: and I were thinking, like, fuck my life on the
Speaker 2: lady Uni. But then again, like you look back and
Speaker 2: you're like.
Speaker 3: Those are real feelings at the time, I.
Speaker 2: Know, But you look back now and you're like they
Speaker 2: like you wouldn't think twice ouse person or anything like that,
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? But like then in
Speaker 2: that moment, you were just so upset, yeah, and you
Speaker 2: were so gutted about something.
Speaker 3: It is.
Speaker 2: It's gut wrenching, yeah, And I remember it like the
Speaker 2: time my mum would be like, you'll get through this,
Speaker 2: You'll have so many more of these, and I was like,
Speaker 2: you don't get it, Mum, Like you you've never done this,
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. But they're right, and we probably sound
Speaker 2: like old parents right now saying this, but like you'll
Speaker 2: move on, You'll get over it, Yeah, you have to,
Speaker 2: and like life goes on.
Speaker 1: The thing is is like if you think your first
Speaker 1: love was amazing, you're just going to have so many
Speaker 1: more amazing loves in your life.
Speaker 3: So it's like, although it's hard, it's hard at the time.
Speaker 2: Like it feels like it's the end of the world.
Speaker 3: It does feel like it's the end of the world.
Speaker 1: But it's such an exciting time because there's gonna be
Speaker 1: so many more fun experiences coming your way.
Speaker 2: And then like now you don't even think about it.
Speaker 3: Okay, this one's a big one.
Speaker 1: In relationships, your words can be forgiven, but definitely not forgotten.
Speaker 1: Be careful about the words you use with your partner.
Speaker 2: I learned that in a couple of my previous ex
Speaker 2: relationship me too, I learned that, like, you can't unsay things, and.
Speaker 1: You can't unsay things, and once you say something hectic, yeah.
Speaker 2: You can't unsay it. I now inn arguments and that
Speaker 2: will like or if something like I won't say stuff
Speaker 2: because I know that you can't unsay what you've said.
Speaker 1: I agree with one of my exes where you used
Speaker 1: to literally say the meanest things to each other, Like
Speaker 1: he would be really mean to me, and then I
Speaker 1: would give it straight back to him, and it's like
Speaker 1: you get to a point where like you don't even
Speaker 1: like that person anymore because you're just like you're like,
Speaker 1: you literally must think this about me, because when we're
Speaker 1: in arguments, you say the most horrible things, and it's
Speaker 1: like there must.
Speaker 3: Be a part of you that believes this.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So there's a there's a lot of power in
Speaker 2: just being quiet sometimes and not saying what comes straight
Speaker 2: to your mind. And I found that now that like
Speaker 2: you just take five minutes to gather your thoughts and
Speaker 2: come back with a clean, fresh mind.
Speaker 1: That's literally like Michael to a teat, Like if I
Speaker 1: start getting upset and like heated, he just walks away.
Speaker 3: He's like, I'm going for a walk. This situation needs
Speaker 3: to calm down.
Speaker 1: I'm not like engaging, and it's like the best thing
Speaker 1: for us because then I get like relaxed and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: Where is he I want to kiss? Okay, this one that.
Speaker 1: We've just woke about leads me into my next one,
Speaker 1: which I think is really interesting because I don't know
Speaker 1: if I've heard.
Speaker 3: A lot of people talk about this.
Speaker 1: Before, but you can love someone so much, but you
Speaker 1: can also not like that person. And I think they
Speaker 1: not liking the person comes with when they're really mean
Speaker 1: to you or you're mean to each other, and it
Speaker 1: creates this kind of like almost hatred towards each other,
Speaker 1: resent and resentment. Like you can literally be so head
Speaker 1: over heels in love, but you can also hate the
Speaker 1: person they are to you, And I think, like that's
Speaker 1: the worst type of relationship to get into because you
Speaker 1: just you.
Speaker 3: Don't want to hate your partner.
Speaker 1: And I've definitely been in scenarios where I've been in
Speaker 1: love and we've stayed together, but I've hated the person they.
Speaker 2: Are ya, So what advice you have for someone that's
Speaker 2: in that position?
Speaker 1: I think just be careful with your words and respect
Speaker 1: each other, which was the other two points.
Speaker 3: It's like without the respect, the relationship's done.
Speaker 1: And when you start saying like really malicious things to
Speaker 1: each other to hurt each other, like you can't undo that.
Speaker 1: And I think like, unfortunately, the more trauma the relationship has,
Speaker 1: like the more it's like doomed essentially, And like I
Speaker 1: think you need to really start getting into good habits
Speaker 1: with like you know, not engaging in like heated arguments
Speaker 1: and walking away and like having really positive, constructive conversations
Speaker 1: when things are tough, because things are gonna be tough.
Speaker 1: Like no one's having this perfect relationship where you're just
Speaker 1: like in love and it's theories and bubbles like things
Speaker 1: are gonna happen, but you need to be able to
Speaker 1: have really good communication and sit down and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: we need to talk about this and both be open
Speaker 1: to having a really like healthy conversation that's productive, that's
Speaker 1: gonna help you both be like, Okay, we're on the
Speaker 1: same page as a couple. Now we can move forward. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: this one could be a controversial one. Emotional intimacy is
Speaker 1: more important than sexual intimacy.
Speaker 2: I agree with that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, that's not saying that you have a bad
Speaker 1: sex life. We absolutely want everyone to have the best
Speaker 1: sex life.
Speaker 2: But you have better sex if you're emotionally touched to someone,
Speaker 2: an emotional.
Speaker 1: And I mean it just goes back again to like
Speaker 1: the respect and the trust and all of that kind
Speaker 1: of lead to having the most incredible emotional intimacy. And
Speaker 1: if you're having if you have good emotional intimacy, then
Speaker 1: you have better sex.
Speaker 3: It's just a.
Speaker 1: Little water full of things that all seem to connect. Okay, next,
Speaker 1: if someone is interested, you will know about it.
Speaker 3: You won't have to question it.
Speaker 2: I agree with that.
Speaker 1: So if you ever had friends on dates and they're
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, I don't really know if he likes me,
Speaker 1: Like he hasn't really messaged me, he doesn't, well.
Speaker 2: Maybe he's playing games, but I fucking hate games. We're
Speaker 2: too old for games.
Speaker 1: But then it's like if you, like, if you've gone
Speaker 1: on a few dates with someone, like if you're on
Speaker 1: three dates and someone's still playing games.
Speaker 3: With you, people do people do?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so fucking weird.
Speaker 1: But like, if someone like truly likes you and you're
Speaker 1: like heading towards a relationship, you're going to know about it.
Speaker 2: But then again, I remember I went on a bunch
Speaker 2: of dates with this girl years ago and I didn't
Speaker 2: kiss her, and I think she was thinking like what
Speaker 2: the hell? But like the opportunity just didn't come up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I was like twenty one, and I just didn't know,
Speaker 2: like what inreciate that?
Speaker 3: But if you liked her, you would have still been
Speaker 3: messaging her, yeah.
Speaker 2: And your own dates. But I think she even says
Speaker 2: something like what the fuck? But like I just didn't
Speaker 2: The opportunity just wasn't there.
Speaker 1: But then again, like, yeah, I completely get where you're
Speaker 1: coming from in that respect, But then I think where
Speaker 1: I am seeing it as like if someone's not messaging
Speaker 1: you and not asking you out on dates and you're
Speaker 1: the one who's going, hey, should we go on a
Speaker 1: date or you're the one that's always messaging first. It's
Speaker 1: more like read the room basically, and like if if
Speaker 1: someone likes you, you're going to hear from them. You're
Speaker 1: gonna they're gonna set up dates, They're going to make
Speaker 1: things happen. If you're the one that's constantly reaching out
Speaker 1: or making things happen, they're probably not interested in you
Speaker 1: or as interested as you are.
Speaker 2: I agree, fuck being imagined being there again.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: If your partner is your best friend, the grass is
Speaker 1: greener where you water it.
Speaker 3: You've said this so many times that and I think.
Speaker 1: It's so important, like the whole, Like the grass is
Speaker 1: greener where you water. It is true when you found
Speaker 1: like the love of your life, your best friend and
Speaker 1: someone who you can potentially imagine forever with. Where it's
Speaker 1: not true is where it's toxic or there's you know,
Speaker 1: emotional abuse or anything like that. So I think the
Speaker 1: grass is greener where you water it if it's the
Speaker 1: love of your life and best friend.
Speaker 2: I agree.
Speaker 1: Okay, last one, can you believe.
Speaker 2: It Anna's lessons that she has learnt from her What
Speaker 2: would you call it?
Speaker 3: My lovely dating life?
Speaker 2: Another word extraordinary tromulsionous, tumultuous, love life, dating life hectic.
Speaker 1: I feel like our podcast is just me constantly correcting
Speaker 1: your words.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just I don't just can't speak properly, can I
Speaker 2: Who would have thought might have a podcast?
Speaker 3: Then okay.
Speaker 1: The final one is if your friends and family don't
Speaker 1: like your partner, it's for a reason. It's not an
Speaker 1: ulterior motive. They love you and want what's best for you.
Speaker 1: It's because they see things that you can't because you're
Speaker 1: wearing the rose colored glasses.
Speaker 2: I agree with that. I've been with partners in the
Speaker 2: past and my family and friends haven't liked them, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't get it, blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: And once you take away and you move away from
Speaker 2: the relationship, then you can see what they're talking about.
Speaker 1: Because the thing is, if you truly, like take a
Speaker 1: second to think about it, your family and friends want
Speaker 1: you to be at your happiest right. They want you
Speaker 1: to be with the love of your life, and they
Speaker 1: just want what's best for you. So if they have
Speaker 1: an opinion like I don't know if that person's right
Speaker 1: for you, I don't know if they're making you happy.
Speaker 3: Although it's hard to hear.
Speaker 1: There has to be a part of you that when
Speaker 1: it's all of your friends and all of your family,
Speaker 1: you need to actually take a second to go, hold
Speaker 1: on a second, what's going on? What's going on? My
Speaker 1: family and friends love me? Why are they're saying this?
Speaker 1: And really analyze that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. I've been in previous relationships
Speaker 2: where I haven't listened, and that's something you should probably do.
Speaker 1: And also, thank you so much to my mum and
Speaker 1: dad for making it clear who they didn't like all
Speaker 1: the people that I dated, because now I'm marrying beautiful Michael,
Speaker 1: the love of my life. So look, that is all
Speaker 1: of the lessons that I've learned through dating.
Speaker 3: I hope that's going to be helpful for you, guys.
Speaker 1: I hope that someone will learn something or maybe think
Speaker 1: about something a little bit more than they have.
Speaker 2: And on that though, people shouldn't be afraid to make
Speaker 2: those mistakes as well. That's how you learn.
Speaker 1: As I said, dating is a research project and should
Speaker 1: be looked at like that.
Speaker 3: Okay, guys, that's all we have time for.
Speaker 1: We are still away, but we will be back next
Speaker 1: week with another fun episode that we have in the bank.
Speaker 1: For you, so until next time, Bye bye,