1
00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,960
Speaker 1: Oh, good morning, good afternoon, good day. Hello. I hope

2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,080
Speaker 1: you are having a healthy day. Yes, this is the

3
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:09,000
Speaker 1: daily podcast from Body and Soul called Healthyish. Of course,

4
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:11,760
Speaker 1: I am the host of Felicity. Harley the Joyful Cat

5
00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:15,600
Speaker 1: John joins me today. She is an authenticity coach speaker

6
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,520
Speaker 1: with a new book out called Authentic, and today we're

7
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:22,439
Speaker 1: focusing on her brilliant I'm Done with list, something she

8
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,959
Speaker 1: writes about in her new book. She's going to explain

9
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,360
Speaker 1: what it is exactly and why you need to do.

10
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,320
Speaker 1: If you do like what you hear on this podcast.

11
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:33,080
Speaker 1: Listening to extra healthy Ish, where Kat discusses how to

12
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,880
Speaker 1: live your best life, you can catch that one wherever

13
00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:50,640
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. Kat. Nice to have you back.

14
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,959
Speaker 1: It's been a few years. Dare I say, I know?

15
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,160
Speaker 2: I think it has.

16
00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we should have got you on sooner. But

17
00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:59,200
Speaker 1: now you're here with a new book. Congratulations. How does

18
00:00:59,200 --> 00:00:59,640
Speaker 1: that feel.

19
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,000
Speaker 2: It's as I was saying to you before, it is

20
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,560
Speaker 2: I'm holding two very different well I don't think they're two,

21
00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:12,560
Speaker 2: but the weight of each emotion is one super excited, proud, pumped,

22
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,440
Speaker 2: let's rock, and then the other is I want to

23
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,320
Speaker 2: crawl under a rock and hide. Ah. So that's where

24
00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:19,520
Speaker 2: I'm at at the moment with it.

25
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,160
Speaker 1: There's something. I mean, you're quite vulnerable all over your

26
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,959
Speaker 1: social media anyway and in your podcast, but there's something

27
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,520
Speaker 1: even it's kind of like a next level of vulnerability

28
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:30,160
Speaker 1: when it comes to a book, isn't it.

29
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely, it's a new level. It's yeah, like you said,

30
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:37,120
Speaker 2: I am vulnerable, i am open, but there's something different

31
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,600
Speaker 2: about you in writing that's permanent that you can't raise

32
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,679
Speaker 2: and and you know, just let's take that down off

33
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:44,200
Speaker 2: the internet.

34
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,640
Speaker 1: It is there now. There was something that jumped out

35
00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,840
Speaker 1: in your book at me, and that was this whole

36
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:52,080
Speaker 1: idea of an I'm done with list. You have to

37
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:56,040
Speaker 1: tell us about this. What is it?

38
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,960
Speaker 2: It's a practice. It's kind of like a stage practice,

39
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,920
Speaker 2: as you would have read where and people listening to

40
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:07,080
Speaker 2: this will have reached this point once twice multiple times

41
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:12,600
Speaker 2: in their life where they are fed up, over completely

42
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:17,960
Speaker 2: done with the way or a way they are in

43
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,920
Speaker 2: relationship with themselves, in relationship with life, in relationship to

44
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:26,480
Speaker 2: their relationships, in relationship to money, their well being, whatever

45
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:29,680
Speaker 2: it may be. And it's kind of like they have

46
00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:37,680
Speaker 2: tolerated and worn the ever so slowly wearing a way

47
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:43,480
Speaker 2: of their confidence, self belief, authentic way, whatever it may be,

48
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,760
Speaker 2: and they just reached this point of, Oh my gosh,

49
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:53,560
Speaker 2: I cannot, I cannot do this for one more fricking day.

50
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,560
Speaker 2: I cannot, I cannot, I will not. It's like all

51
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:02,160
Speaker 2: the the mind, the body, the solve, the heart unite

52
00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:06,720
Speaker 2: together and say an almighty no, no, no, no, no,

53
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:11,679
Speaker 2: no no more. And there's a practice that I did

54
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:15,400
Speaker 2: last year, which is what are you done with? And

55
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,640
Speaker 2: I wrote down thirty eight things. It was on my birthday,

56
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:21,200
Speaker 2: thirty eight things. I'm just so, it's just it's it

57
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,720
Speaker 2: where we are putting a goddamn line in the sand.

58
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:29,640
Speaker 2: And like you said before coming online, it is outrageously cathartic.

59
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,400
Speaker 1: It is, isn't it. Can you share some of the

60
00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:34,920
Speaker 1: things that were on that list that you did?

61
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,760
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I've got it right in front of it

62
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,640
Speaker 2: was I was like, oh what have I got? What

63
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,680
Speaker 2: have I got? So I've got thirty eight things, So

64
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,120
Speaker 2: let's have a look at some of them. Not letting

65
00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:48,640
Speaker 2: myself watch a show or movie without guilt thinking I

66
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:53,680
Speaker 2: need to do more, to be more worrying about money,

67
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:58,920
Speaker 2: when I actually have money, calling myself fat and seeing

68
00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,920
Speaker 2: myself through the eyes of being fat, what else being

69
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,800
Speaker 2: tormented by my past? Like there's a lot. Like I said,

70
00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:07,800
Speaker 2: there's thirty eight things here, there's a lot.

71
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:11,840
Speaker 1: It's I mean, it's cathartic, but it's also owning your

72
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,280
Speaker 1: thoughts and getting them out. I mean, there is something

73
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,200
Speaker 1: I know you do this, you journal, and that there's

74
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,520
Speaker 1: something about just those thoughts chipping away you, chipping away you,

75
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:23,279
Speaker 1: and then writing them down, seeing them in front of

76
00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:27,360
Speaker 1: yourself and then thinking wow, like maybe yeah, I'll own

77
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,640
Speaker 1: it and now I can let it go.

78
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:34,599
Speaker 2: Yeah. It's this absolutely the ownership piece. And it's I'm

79
00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:39,680
Speaker 2: sick of hurting myself. I'm tired of hurting myself and

80
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:46,600
Speaker 2: treating myself like I don't deserve something beautiful or wonderful

81
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:50,760
Speaker 2: or that matters or that is my birthright, you know why.

82
00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,560
Speaker 2: It's why am I hurting myself? And I think when

83
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,480
Speaker 2: we start to whether we have that language or not,

84
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,800
Speaker 2: when we start to do such a practice, we are

85
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:05,720
Speaker 2: inviting in softness, compassion, love, respect for the self, and

86
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,080
Speaker 2: then how we relate to those things that we are

87
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,440
Speaker 2: done with. So, whether it be money, whether it be

88
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,520
Speaker 2: like I was talking about before, relationships, et cetera.

89
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:17,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you also write to you know, leave it a

90
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:20,000
Speaker 1: few days, perhaps a few weeks, and then come back

91
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,200
Speaker 1: and write a deeply sorry list. What's this about?

92
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, So, I don't know if you've heard of

93
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:31,800
Speaker 2: so basically this is it's an alteration of the Hawaiian

94
00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:34,680
Speaker 2: prayer hoe op and opono. I don't know if you've

95
00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,800
Speaker 2: heard of that before. It's the prayer of I'm sorry,

96
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:43,719
Speaker 2: please forgive me, thank you, and I love you. And

97
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,000
Speaker 2: I write about it further a little bit later on

98
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,640
Speaker 2: in the book after this, and I practice that prayer.

99
00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,720
Speaker 2: It's a beautiful prayer for reconciliation with the self, with life,

100
00:05:53,839 --> 00:05:58,640
Speaker 2: with others. It's stunning, really stunning. And so I did

101
00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:02,280
Speaker 2: an iteration of it. And so I went to each

102
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,560
Speaker 2: of the thirty eight things that I wrote down, and

103
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:09,000
Speaker 2: I wrote, I'm deeply sorry for each of those things. So,

104
00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:13,080
Speaker 2: you know, for example, I'm you know, I'm done with

105
00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:15,880
Speaker 2: seeing myself as fat. I'm done with seeing myself as

106
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,560
Speaker 2: whatever it may be. And so one of the things,

107
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:22,520
Speaker 2: I am deeply sorry for speaking unkindly to you and

108
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,640
Speaker 2: about your beautiful body that has carried you through this life.

109
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:29,640
Speaker 2: You know, it's getting written, We're getting notches deeper. So

110
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:34,039
Speaker 2: thirty eight sorries for the thirty eight I'm done with.

111
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:40,160
Speaker 2: And it's again, it's it's taking in that ownership and

112
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,520
Speaker 2: deep apology because I mean, you think about it. We

113
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,839
Speaker 2: always say to our kids when you've done something wrong

114
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,560
Speaker 2: or when you've offended your sibling, you know, say sorry,

115
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,440
Speaker 2: et cetera. And you know, sometimes you can tell they

116
00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:57,800
Speaker 2: don't mean they're sorry. And I think that we do

117
00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,080
Speaker 2: that to ourselves, where we talk about ourselves just so flippantly,

118
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,039
Speaker 2: so flippantly, and then when we reach this level of dumbness,

119
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,400
Speaker 2: there comes this oh my goodness, I cannot believe I

120
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,080
Speaker 2: have treated myself like this. I'm so sorry for that.

121
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:15,440
Speaker 2: I mean it, am Meana, I'm so sorry for it.

122
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,760
Speaker 2: And so that's the part that then follows the what

123
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:19,360
Speaker 2: I'm done with?

124
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:24,520
Speaker 1: And often we say these things to ourselves and unconsciously,

125
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:27,560
Speaker 1: and we're not like many times a day, and it's

126
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,160
Speaker 1: not until you you know, find that breaking your thinking,

127
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,800
Speaker 1: or you go or you know, you take a bird's

128
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,600
Speaker 1: eye view and think, did I just say that to myself?

129
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:37,000
Speaker 1: Hang on, what have I been saying to myself about

130
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,400
Speaker 1: my body or about my ability or whatever it may be.

131
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,760
Speaker 1: And so having it in front of you is a

132
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,840
Speaker 1: reminder that if you go back into that cycle again,

133
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,640
Speaker 1: hang on, I've been here. I said, I'm done with.

134
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,480
Speaker 2: This, absolutely absolutely.

135
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,200
Speaker 1: How did it pan out for you afterwards? I mean,

136
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,360
Speaker 1: how are you going with that list?

137
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:54,640
Speaker 2: You?

138
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,560
Speaker 1: Are you done with all those things? Or do you

139
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,160
Speaker 1: find some of them creeping back? I mean we are

140
00:07:58,240 --> 00:07:59,200
Speaker 1: human after all.

141
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely human. It's always a dance, and I think

142
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,640
Speaker 2: that there's an evolution of things. It's not like, oh, okay, cool,

143
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,400
Speaker 2: I'm actually fully done and I'm always and I'm deeply sorry,

144
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,400
Speaker 2: and I've forgiven myself and I love myself, Holly. But

145
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,400
Speaker 2: what I have noticed, so, for example, if we take

146
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:17,720
Speaker 2: this body piece or appearance piece, because as you would

147
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,320
Speaker 2: have read in my book, I've really struggled with my

148
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:25,480
Speaker 2: perception of self from happenings from younger years. So for example,

149
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:28,880
Speaker 2: it's this little tiny shift that I've just noticed. Where

150
00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,520
Speaker 2: so before I come up there, it was this maybe

151
00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,679
Speaker 2: a few months ago, maybe even three four months ago,

152
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,320
Speaker 2: I turned on zoom to do a coaching client call,

153
00:08:38,679 --> 00:08:42,600
Speaker 2: and before the screen turned on, there was just this

154
00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,360
Speaker 2: very quiet, gentle voice that said, be kind to the

155
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,719
Speaker 2: woman who was looking back at you. And I was

156
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,320
Speaker 2: jumping on before my client got on, and that woman

157
00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,200
Speaker 2: that was going to be looking back at me was me.

158
00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:57,600
Speaker 2: And that's the first time I've ever had a voice

159
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:01,560
Speaker 2: or that voice I should say, come for before you know,

160
00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,560
Speaker 2: turn on zoom and I'm like, oh god on my head, doesn't.

161
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:19,319
Speaker 1: Look that good Before i'd.

162
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,160
Speaker 2: Because that is what I would so previously I would

163
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,640
Speaker 2: have unconsciously done it. Then when I have done this practice,

164
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:25,320
Speaker 2: it's made a lot of these things, like much more

165
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:30,320
Speaker 2: aware conscious so I can watch it. And then now

166
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,000
Speaker 2: this other part, there's this beautiful part, this wise part

167
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:39,880
Speaker 2: is speaking before the carnage, and that's what I'm noticing,

168
00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,480
Speaker 2: and it's so subtle, but it's so.

169
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:47,040
Speaker 1: Beautiful, beautiful self compassion. Kat, thank you for joining us

170
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:54,680
Speaker 1: on healthy Ish Pleasure. Well, friends, you might need some

171
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:57,040
Speaker 1: guidance on that. I'm done with Lisa, make sure you

172
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,720
Speaker 1: grab Cat's new book. It is called Authentic Coming Home

173
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,480
Speaker 1: to Your True Self, and it is out now. If

174
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,920
Speaker 1: you've got something out of this chat, tell us rate

175
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,439
Speaker 1: and review it, or of course subscribe to this podcast.

176
00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:10,440
Speaker 1: Actually make sure you do that, very important and then

177
00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:13,439
Speaker 1: you'll know exactly when we drop a newp anything else.

178
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:15,480
Speaker 1: Buddyansoul dot com dot are you as the place to go.

179
00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,080
Speaker 1: You ub our print edition which is out in your

180
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,319
Speaker 1: local Sunday paper, and make sure you are following us

181
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:23,079
Speaker 1: across our social media's. Thanks again for listening and until

182
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,160
Speaker 1: next time, Stay Healthy is