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Speaker 1: This is the Fits In with Kate Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: This is a tricky conversation I think for us to

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Speaker 2: have as quite a close knit team.

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Speaker 3: I'm married.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't be doing it here. I'd wait till a.

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Speaker 1: My hammies aren't as flexible as they used to be.

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Speaker 2: And when you know, mixed gender with people in married relationships,

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Speaker 2: all of that kind of thing. But we have a

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Speaker 2: group WhatsApp. I won't say the name of that WhatsApp group.

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Speaker 2: It's recently changed, probably needs to change again.

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Speaker 1: There was an old mixed netball team that we had

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Speaker 1: at Nova. What's it called.

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Speaker 4: It's Nova Jina's okay, and a great name for a group.

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Speaker 2: But when my daughter sees it, I'll be saying it's

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Speaker 2: called the Nova Genus, Yes.

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Speaker 4: Which is.

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Speaker 1: Anyway.

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Speaker 2: This story is about a husband and wife. Husband is

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Speaker 2: going off to work and she seems to think that

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Speaker 2: he's living some kind of double life because she's come

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Speaker 2: across text messages in his phone who happened to be

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Speaker 2: with a work colleague who is a woman. And there's

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Speaker 2: nothing really untoward to those messages, but there is a

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Speaker 2: somewhat a not intimate, but you know, a relationship relationship

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Speaker 2: and their friends and they know each other, you know, Like,

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Speaker 2: let's be honest, we all spend a lot of time

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Speaker 2: at work, and you know it was important. I think

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Speaker 2: FITZI yesterday you were talking about on air the fact

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Speaker 2: that it's important to create connection with social in the

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Speaker 2: office so that when you go to work you feel

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Speaker 2: safe and you're having a nice time because you spend

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Speaker 2: a lot of time there. But she's come across messages

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Speaker 2: where it's not about work stuff. It might be about

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Speaker 2: her child. She's recently divorced, so I guess that may

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Speaker 2: set off alarm bells because a lot of people don't

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Speaker 2: like divorced single rebound, you know, hanging around their partner.

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Speaker 2: So that's all I really wanted to ask, was like,

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Speaker 2: it was funny. Well he's saying things like you're overreacting

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Speaker 2: because it's just a friendship. And do you know what,

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Speaker 2: I actually believe that because I have lots of friendships

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Speaker 2: with men like no, but well, you guys are my friends,

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Speaker 2: and there's nothing there's there's nothing to that.

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Speaker 1: But if you have a.

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Speaker 2: Partner who doesn't understand that work relationship, I think it

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Speaker 2: can fear a threatening.

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Speaker 3: And his wife if he was to grab a coffee

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Speaker 3: with another girl. That would be enough to cause a

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Speaker 3: real issue within the relationship. If he had a female

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Speaker 3: friend and maybe she's just sensitive because he's a good

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Speaker 3: looking rooster and he has a track record and he's

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Speaker 3: never cheated on it, absolutely not, and they have three

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Speaker 3: kids and they're a beautiful.

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Speaker 1: Fan and that's the story we'll go with.

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Speaker 3: But if he was the hang out with another girl.

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Speaker 3: Let's say his work colleague was a female and they

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Speaker 3: were on road trips or something or working on an assignment,

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Speaker 3: then it would not sit well at home.

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Speaker 4: Can I can I tell you the best way to

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Speaker 4: approach this, And there's nothing wrong if you've got to,

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Speaker 4: if you're in a great relationship, to go up to

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Speaker 4: your partner and go, I don't know, I may be

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Speaker 4: overlooking this, and you know, I'm looking into this too much,

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Speaker 4: and I'm so sorry if I made you feel like this,

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Speaker 4: but I've just seen the text message.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm thinking.

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Speaker 4: Then from there you can test body language and you

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Speaker 4: can see how they reaccate and it's and you know what,

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Speaker 4: if they go, honey, don't be silly.

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Speaker 1: I work with her.

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Speaker 4: I need to catch up with her to talk about

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Speaker 4: this around work, then you know everything's fine if you

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Speaker 4: keep this secret and it builds up O Kate. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: this is where it gets worse.

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Speaker 3: Just sitting on the couch with his best shirt on,

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Speaker 3: covered in after show. It's ten o'clock at night and

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Speaker 3: he's heading up for a work meeting.

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Speaker 2: Get a coffee apparently. But I agree, Fitzy, because I

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Speaker 2: think and if you don't get it out in the

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Speaker 2: open or it's not just part of the dialogue within

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Speaker 2: your relationship. Let's be honest, most of what you think

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Speaker 2: and you're worrying about you don't have the facts on

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Speaker 2: and it's probably not the truth.

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Speaker 3: You've made your own.

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Speaker 2: You worry about things that you don't even know if

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Speaker 2: they exist, always going to be there.

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Speaker 3: Are there are people also that would claim men and

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Speaker 3: women simply can't be friends without one wanting more.

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Speaker 1: That's that's in your mind, mate.

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Speaker 3: It's female friends.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but you you you say this all the time.

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Speaker 1: It's true.

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Speaker 3: A lot of people believe that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that a lot of men have ulterior motives when

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Speaker 4: they when they become friends with certain fem naturally, So

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Speaker 4: that's you're just being hypocritical because you just said no

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Speaker 4: they can't.

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Speaker 3: They go for some people, and I, like I said,

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Speaker 3: I have a lot of female friends. Some people they

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Speaker 3: can't help themselves, and they'll blame it on instinct, but

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Speaker 3: they will simply they're unable to become close to female

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Speaker 3: friends without wanting more.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, fair enough, it's probably best for them not

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Speaker 2: to be in a relationship or to form female friendship. Yes,

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Speaker 2: because it's also not fair to say that you just

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Speaker 2: have friendships with the opposite sex and then tell your

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Speaker 2: partner all the time that they're silly and they're crazy

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Speaker 2: and it's all in.

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Speaker 1: I'll give you this one.

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Speaker 3: There's a celebrity I can't say his name, but he's married,

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Speaker 3: and a girl that I know used to do some

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Speaker 3: work for him. She received a phone call one day

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Speaker 3: from his wife saying, I'm so sorry, we're going to

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Speaker 3: have to let you go. You can't work with the

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Speaker 3: family anymore, and sometimes we just need to remove females

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Speaker 3: from his life, and you're one of them.

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Speaker 1: Oh to suffer.

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Speaker 3: It's a true story.

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Speaker 2: So it's more about managing his behavior.

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Speaker 3: Love you to pieces. You've been fantastic with the family,

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Speaker 3: but unfortunately sometimes we need to remove women from his

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Speaker 3: life and you're one of them. Yeah. Anyway, it was

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Speaker 3: a horrible phone call for Lisa to have to make

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Speaker 3: its Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast to

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Speaker 3: walk great shows like this.

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