WEBVTT - So, Who's Type A and Who's Type B? 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:03.120 Today we're recording on Gadighul country and. 0:00:03.080 --> 0:00:05.760 We'd like to pay our respects to the traditional custodians 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:06.240 of the Gati. 0:00:06.240 --> 0:00:11.480 Girl people, I know you've got to dig this. It's 0:00:11.600 --> 0:00:16.439 like I've been given like an extra sprinkle of something. 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:17.440 You've got layers. 0:00:17.720 --> 0:00:18.800 Yeah, I've got layers. 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:22.720 I was just thinking, I'm like, we're just such beautiful storytellers. 0:00:23.079 --> 0:00:26.680 You're making a lot of sense to that girl. No, 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:27.600 I'm done. 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:32.919 I've been too honest to go. We had a big 0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:34.600 week this week, we did. 0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:36.919 I mean, you've been in Sydney for the whole weekend. 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:38.960 Has it been great for you? Do you? 0:00:39.040 --> 0:00:41.239 Are you enjoying the sunshine? Isn't it beautiful? 0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:44.040 It has been good. I've had a very social weekend, 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:47.800 meeting me as friends family. It's one of her best 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:52.040 friend's birthday this weekend, so we spent a lot of 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:54.000 time celebrating Kate, which was really nice. 0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:56.400 Beautiful. How are you taking to the shire? 0:00:57.280 --> 0:00:59.040 The shire is good. I mean we spent a lot 0:00:59.040 --> 0:00:59.880 of time in Krin. 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:02.400 Yeah, that's the hub of the shire. 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:06.240 Oh, okay, that's like the center point right, that's right, Okay, 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:07.800 She's like the heart of the shire. 0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:08.759 That's where I got it. 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:11.520 Yeah, it's okay. It kind of does remind me a 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:14.959 little bit like cot a slow yes, but awkward. I 0:01:15.000 --> 0:01:19.800 actually saw my ex's best friend. I saw him walking 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:22.600 with another girl, and that's probably like the fourth girl 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:23.560 I've seen him walking with. 0:01:23.720 --> 0:01:26.120 That is so funny because my best friend Emily, I 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:29.520 saw her ex walking with this girl. And as soon 0:01:29.640 --> 0:01:31.880 as I saw him with this new girl, because he 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:33.560 put her through the ringer, let me tell you, like, 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:36.280 he wasn't a great boyfriend. So I called her and 0:01:36.280 --> 0:01:37.960 I was like, oh my god. I wanted to warn 0:01:38.000 --> 0:01:39.880 the girl, like stay away from this man. 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:42.640 I kind of wanted to do the same thing because 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:46.840 I'm my girl and last, but then I was like, no, 0:01:46.959 --> 0:01:48.560 I don't care. I was like kind of wanted him 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:50.160 to like selfishly go back. 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:51.920 And tell him, yeah, there you go. 0:01:52.080 --> 0:01:54.640 Is that bad? No, No, that's toxic. I've done a 0:01:54.640 --> 0:01:56.480 lot of therapy to be like better than this. 0:01:56.680 --> 0:01:58.400 Okay, well we're going to get into that. But what 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:00.200 I want to talk about is before that. How And 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.280 then at the end of last week, we had an 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:05.680 incredible day here at Nova. We did we got to 0:02:05.800 --> 0:02:09.360 work really closely with the you know, with a group 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:11.919 of people at Nova, a lot of the bosses actually 0:02:11.919 --> 0:02:16.280 the heads of departments and influential people within this building. Yeah, 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:20.200 to start the RAP plan process and we. 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:22.600 Worked with wrapping guys just to clarify. 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:26.400 It wasn't like like it was more like black rides. 0:02:27.160 --> 0:02:30.160 It was literally like for my people. If you don't 0:02:30.160 --> 0:02:32.880 know what a RAP plan is, it's a reconciliation action 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:42.240 plan and it was introduced so that organizations, any organization 0:02:42.400 --> 0:02:46.919 really in Australia. It's a plan to best support First 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:50.840 Nations people in the business and to I guess you know, 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:54.520 we all talked about closing the gap and it was 0:02:54.560 --> 0:02:59.760 to help with I guess, the closing of the employment gap. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.600 But there's a lot of other like social emotional wellbeing 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:06.320 parts to it as well, which you wouldn't think being 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:10.880 in an organization was necessary, but it is absolutely vital. 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:13.880 I think working with First Nations people to under best 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:17.680 understand why and how we work. 0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:20.840 Yeah, I think it's super exciting for Nova and an 0:03:20.880 --> 0:03:23.960 important step for the future of the industry. It's the 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:27.720 first commercial radio network that is putting a RAP together, 0:03:27.880 --> 0:03:31.360 So kudos to our Nova fam. We've loved working in 0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:33.800 this building and with this incredible company. So there's going 0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:35.480 to be more on this. We're going to actually do 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:38.480 an episode based on reconciliation action plans, and we're going 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:42.760 to get you know, experts into to divulge what exactly. 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:42.920 That looks like. 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:44.840 Make a rap about our rap. 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:46.560 Wow, that would be pretty funny. 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:50.480 I reckon usual our target our targets are I just 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:56.000 probably chat GP my best friend. Yeah, But like you know, 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:59.920 I feel like, you know, when organizations talk about rat 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:03.800 we there was a very different vibe. I feel like 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:09.280 with Nova. I've been on the co design process previously 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:13.120 with other organizations connected to the Department of Education on 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:17.760 charity and not for profits, but this one just felt 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.920 very different. It felt a bit like there was a 0:04:20.960 --> 0:04:23.960 need for it and there was like a willingness and 0:04:24.000 --> 0:04:25.599 I really like that. And I think one of the 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:30.400 common uh, you know, themes or words that were thrown 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.359 around or slogans I guess was house proud and I 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:33.920 feel like. 0:04:33.960 --> 0:04:35.160 You actually mentioned that. 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:39.440 Well. I feel like when you go to work, which 0:04:39.480 --> 0:04:41.839 we you know, we work as freelancers, so it's a 0:04:41.920 --> 0:04:46.320 very different vibe, right because we're being employed by a service, 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:48.520 but technically we really just work for ourselves, so we're 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:52.000 being contracted, so we don't have like an organization that 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.400 we go to every single day like we do come 0:04:55.440 --> 0:04:58.720 here every week and our touch. 0:04:58.600 --> 0:05:00.680 Points in the industry, you know, for me, it's Nova 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:05.039 and I V and now Channel seven, which is super exciting. 0:05:05.080 --> 0:05:07.240 Something will be coming very soon. But I can't say, oh. 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.719 My god, so I'll be working one day a week 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:11.479 at each of these. 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.680 Yes, which is hands and a lot of yeah. 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:17.440 But I do want to I don't want to go 0:05:17.440 --> 0:05:19.040 too much into this. I just wanted to bring this 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:22.440 to our audience and say that there's some incredible work 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:25.960 that's being done behind the scenes when it comes to reconciliation. 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:28.840 Context context is important. But I want to do an 0:05:28.839 --> 0:05:31.599 episode based on this where we get Stone Crab in 0:05:31.640 --> 0:05:35.120 the organization that NOVA is working with, and we can 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:38.520 really go into detail about why it's important, the historical context, 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:40.520 which is super important for people to. 0:05:40.480 --> 0:05:42.680 Understand a little bit on that's right. 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:44.719 But I do want to talk about change. 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:46.880 Okay, and I think lots of change happening in your 0:05:46.960 --> 0:05:47.760 life right now. 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:49.560 But I also think that you know that's this is 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:52.120 really exciting for the organization in terms of change. But 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:56.360 I want to talk about personal change, what's happening and 0:05:56.480 --> 0:06:00.360 the evolution of change, and what it takes for someone 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:04.960 to create change in their life, to make positive change 0:06:04.960 --> 0:06:06.240 in their life, I should say. 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:06.640 So. 0:06:07.040 --> 0:06:09.440 I know that over the years, you know, I think 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:13.440 about my twenties as a decade. There's been ebbs and 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:14.080 flows of. 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:15.920 You already exit the twenties. 0:06:16.000 --> 0:06:16.640 Girl, I'm out. 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:22.680 Okay, yeah, girl, I am out. But for the last 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:26.080 seventy five days of my twenties, right, I'm doing the 0:06:26.080 --> 0:06:26.960 seventy five. 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.760 Hard Challenge very strategic lo. 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:32.600 So, and it came to me. I was sitting on 0:06:32.640 --> 0:06:34.360 my veranda. I was looking out. 0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:35.280 At the view. 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:39.440 You know, picture this beautiful blue sky day, me with 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:42.280 my journal, and I'm writing a note to myself. You know, 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.720 I'm writing about what I want, what I want to 0:06:45.760 --> 0:06:48.279 see in myself change. And then all of a sudden, 0:06:48.279 --> 0:06:51.039 I was thinking about this seventy five hard challenge that 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.400 has been going viral over the last few months. 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:54.880 And you will not believe it. 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:58.760 That day was seventy five days from my thirtieth birthday. Yeah, 0:06:58.960 --> 0:07:01.320 isn't that the universe? It's being like ding ding ding ding, 0:07:01.400 --> 0:07:06.120 dpitous so I you know, the next day I started 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:08.440 and from that point it was seventy five days, you know, 0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:10.080 to the twenty sixth of May. 0:07:10.480 --> 0:07:13.200 And how are you feeling, like, because you're halfway. 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:13.680 Now, I'm halfway. 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:17.720 What's what's some revelations that you've had halfway through? 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:22.720 Like, yeah, yeah, I think interestingly enough, I've done challenges 0:07:23.320 --> 0:07:26.240 in the past that have that have benefited me. I've 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:29.400 done sobriety for you know, one hundred and twenty days 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:32.200 last year was the length that I did that for. 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:37.280 I've done small or you know, short term diets or 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.080 short term gym programs that have created a change, but 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:42.600 I haven't been to the extreme that seventy five hard is. 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:44.720 So let me just explain what seventy five hard is 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:47.120 for the listeners. So seventy five hard is a list 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:49.480 of things that you need to do every day which 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:54.720 challenge you emotionally, physically, and mentally, I would even say spiritually, 0:07:55.080 --> 0:07:57.280 Like by the end of the day to read those 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:59.720 ten pages in the book, I'm like, God, give me strength. 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:02.720 But there are certain things that you need to tick 0:08:02.760 --> 0:08:04.400 off in the day, and this is the list. So 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:07.160 you need to do two workouts, one indoor one outdoor. 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:10.360 You need to drink three seven hundred and fifty million 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:13.320 liters of water, which is basically four leaders of water. 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:16.800 You need to read ten pages of a book any book. 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:20.760 You need to journal, you need to take a progress photo, 0:08:21.240 --> 0:08:24.560 and you need to make sure that you're following a 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:27.320 healthy diet, so no cheap meals, no fizzy drinks, no sugar, 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:30.280 no ice cream. So there's a list of things you 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:31.680 need to do every day and there's an app and 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:34.800 it really helps me. Accountability really helps me. So when 0:08:34.840 --> 0:08:36.680 I can go in and tick something off, it actually 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:41.680 is like really beneficial for me. And so this challenge 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:45.160 I'm halfway through. Some of the challenges that I've found 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:49.840 within this is the feeling of detoxing. So I haven't 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:53.200 been to this extreme of a challenge where everything that 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:56.120 is normal in my life has changed. Sometimes I've done 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.160 the you know, no drinking alcohol for a certain period 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.920 of time or eating healthy. Then there's always been substitutes 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:05.080 for certain things, and in this challenge, you haven't been 0:09:05.120 --> 0:09:09.040 able to substitute. So it's an extreme challenge and it's 0:09:09.080 --> 0:09:10.160 pretty intense. 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:12.160 Like it I was going to say, like off the bat, 0:09:12.240 --> 0:09:14.760 I mean I did like sort of like I wouldn't 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:18.360 say seventy five soft, but I've thought about like incorporating 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:22.880 some of those things into my daily life. But I 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:27.679 feel like i've kind of already not the two workouts 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.960 a day, like that's a bit too much for me. 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:33.040 I think I walk twice a day, so I am 0:09:33.200 --> 0:09:35.000 kind of active twice, and it. 0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:35.560 Can be a walk. 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:38.400 One of those exercises outdoors could be a walk. So 0:09:38.720 --> 0:09:41.720 since I'm really sore, I'm like, okay, I'll run for 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:44.000 twenty five minutes and I'll walk and I'll walk for 0:09:44.040 --> 0:09:47.440 twenty so it's not putting your you know, body through 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.120 the ringer constantly. 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:52.640 Yeah, which I think is like what people could do 0:09:52.840 --> 0:09:56.320 is like seventy five hard. They could go absolutely hard, 0:09:56.480 --> 0:10:01.839 but it's more about just challenging and like making conscious choices. 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.000 Right, Yeah, And I think you should challenge yourself in 0:10:04.280 --> 0:10:06.720 the sense that like you should push yourself. For instance, 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:09.160 last night, I went for a run. I didn't get 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:11.760 that second workout in until nine thirty pm, and I 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:14.319 went for a run. I got back, but then overnight 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:17.559 I realized that my foot, my left foot, was injured, 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:19.199 you know, So I woke up in the middle of 0:10:19.240 --> 0:10:20.800 the night to a really bad sharp pain on my 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:23.400 left foot. Took some penalult sort of went away. But 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:25.720 now I'm going to take that into today's workout, you know, 0:10:25.800 --> 0:10:28.040 to be yeah, to be more mindful that I'm pushing 0:10:28.120 --> 0:10:30.040 my body to the limit, and so maybe I should 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.640 just I might go and do push up some squats 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:34.600 and chin ups at the park instead of going for 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:39.280 that run. So yeah, there's just different things you can implement. 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:42.760 To Okay, So what's what are I guess going back 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:44.960 to the question is like, what are some revelations that 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:49.640 you've had throughout this challenge like that have like I 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:53.760 don't know, come come to you, Like what has this 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:58.080 really pushed you on? Is it the physical challenge or 0:10:58.120 --> 0:10:59.760 is it the emotional or the spiritual? 0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:02.840 You know? What it's really made me understand is that 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:05.920 I'm not a go with the flow guy. So if 0:11:05.960 --> 0:11:08.559 I go with the flow, the flow is going to 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:12.120 take me to places that I should not be honestly. 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:17.120 So well, I just think that what I've realized is 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:20.000 when I have structure, when I have routine, discipline and 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:24.560 self accountability, those things really help me with my mental 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:27.720 health and they help me get closer to where I 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.080 want to be in life, you know, to my personal goals. 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.760 So going with the flow is not for me. And 0:11:32.960 --> 0:11:35.880 I'm halfway through this challenge and having that revelation has 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:40.199 been such like a a profound moment for me because 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:43.640 for so many years, I've always felt like things will 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:45.960 work out, things will work out, just go with the flow. 0:11:46.520 --> 0:11:48.720 And what I'm realizing is that like when you go 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:52.640 with the flow, you're leaving it up to other people's decisions, 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:55.400 other people's you know, wants and needs of your life. 0:11:55.840 --> 0:11:58.320 And when you don't go with the flow, when you're 0:11:58.360 --> 0:12:02.520 really proactive in getting shit done, I feel. 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:04.280 Like you're in the driver's seat of your destiny. 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:08.680 So you're actually like steering the steering your life, you know. 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:13.000 So that's one revelation I've had is to not go 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.360 with the flow anymore. The other thing that I've realized 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:19.719 is that I've never felt what it's like to detox. 0:12:20.320 --> 0:12:22.640 Okay, fully, what is dtox in? 0:12:23.160 --> 0:12:26.400 So I'll talk about the feeling of detox for me. 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:32.200 I've had some big challenges with the seventy five Hard Challenge, 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:35.640 to the point where I felt angry and I've had 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:39.040 these emotions come to the surface that normally I wouldn't 0:12:39.080 --> 0:12:41.240 allow myself to feel. So I don't like the feeling. 0:12:41.240 --> 0:12:42.720 I don't know many people who do, but I don't 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:45.199 like to feel angry. So I was having the feeling 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:47.880 of anger, and I was thinking to myself, why do 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:50.520 I feel like this? This isn't natural for me. And 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:54.320 it happened like what's smallest things. It could be the 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.720 fact that this I put this coffee cup down and 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:59.600 it went like that and like it's spilt, and that 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:02.720 would make make me so angry when in my generally 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:04.679 in my life, that would not make me angry. 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.400 Or I could read filt milk kind of things. 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:10.040 The smallest things were getting on my nerves, and I 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.559 was thinking to myself, this is that there's a hormonal 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:16.720 imbalance in my body currently because I'm detoxing from sugar. 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:19.640 I think sugar is something that has been a part 0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:24.520 of my life for a long time. Alcohol just all 0:13:24.520 --> 0:13:26.320 these elements that had to go out the door for 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.640 this challenge. They're no longer a part of my world. 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:32.080 And I think that there was like visceral reaction to this, 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:35.679 and that's been one of the biggest challenges. Feeling what 0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:40.720 detox feels like yeah, and I can only imagine how 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:42.599 hard that must be for people who are deep in 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.280 addiction or anything in their life that they feel like 0:13:45.280 --> 0:13:47.600 has a stronghold in their world and then they have 0:13:47.720 --> 0:13:50.800 to sort of fight through that. I've had like the 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:53.920 smallest glimpse into that, and it's been a struggle for me. 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:59.160 So because you're you're self aware enough to like, see 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:03.640 there is something uncomfortable, see it for what it what 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:07.120 it could be, but naming it and then be like, Okay, 0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:09.880 I need to like challenge myself on that, or I 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:12.480 need to overcome that, or like I need to or 0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:14.040 just that's huge, or. 0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:16.480 Just yeah, realize what it is, you know. 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:19.720 So it's just going, Okay, I'm feeling angry, but there's 0:14:19.800 --> 0:14:22.520 nothing really that's happening right now that I should be 0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:25.800 feeling this way. There's no like, no one's making me 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:29.000 angry like it could. It could be the smallest thing 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:31.720 that I'm feeling, like these little. 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:34.120 Things it's angry or is it irrited? Like are you 0:14:34.160 --> 0:14:35.239 feeling irritable? 0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:39.920 Okay, but like for instance, the other day, my fridge 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:43.520 stopped working, right that fucked me off, But I went 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:47.320 to move the fridge. I'm not like an aggressive person, 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:50.040 and I yanked the fridge and I broke the cord. 0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:55.120 But that's because the frustration of this this feeling. It 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:58.040 was like, I'm strong, so I had to get the 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:01.160 fucking fridge repairman to come out, you know, four hundred 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:04.240 dollars later fixing the cord and that I broke. But 0:15:05.080 --> 0:15:08.880 I've had that feeling in different areas of my life recently, 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:10.880 and I can tell that it's from this challenge. 0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.440 And I'm just getting finished. 0:15:13.480 --> 0:15:17.280 Sugar cravings. Give me the fucking. 0:15:17.040 --> 0:15:19.320 Kick, Give me the fucking kickut. 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.360 But sorry, that's what I'm like. 0:15:22.520 --> 0:15:25.240 Fuck, but I mean, but I am enjoying it. I'm 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.040 really enjoying it. And I'm through that moment now. So 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:30.520 I haven't been getting angry the last few days. Good, 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:34.560 and I've realized what that was. I'm looking forward to 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:37.960 the second half of this challenge and then the day 0:15:38.000 --> 0:15:40.520 that I finish May twenty six, I. 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:44.280 Actually fly to Europe. Hell yeah, that evening. Now, what 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:44.840 I'm going to do. 0:15:45.560 --> 0:15:49.560 I'm gonna eat whatever the fuck I want on that 0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:50.280 plane to Europe. 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:53.240 Then you were flooding your body with like all the 0:15:53.280 --> 0:15:56.720 shit that you've deprived yourself off for like seventy five days. 0:15:56.760 --> 0:15:59.440 That's not gonna be a good scenario. I can tell 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:01.760 you now because I'm straight. 0:16:01.520 --> 0:16:04.240 Into Rome, Babe, I'm flying into Rome. I'm going to 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:05.520 get off that plane. 0:16:06.800 --> 0:16:08.520 Exactly pasta pizza. 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:13.880 Oh I reckon, I reckon? Is yourself in no, because. 0:16:13.640 --> 0:16:17.360 Like is the reward for putting yourself through. It's not 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:18.240 going to be yourself. 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:20.600 It's not going to be consistent thing in my European holiday, 0:16:20.640 --> 0:16:23.360 I'm going to be like eating, like eating crazy and 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.600 drinking and doing all these things. It's more the fact 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.640 that like when I get off that plane and I 0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:31.720 get step into Rome, one of my favorite things in 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:32.240 the world is a. 0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:35.440 Good pasta dish. Yes, I'm going to eat that pasta. 0:16:35.720 --> 0:16:39.160 But like I know, like I have been on those 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:43.480 restrictive sort of things. This is in no way supporting 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:45.720 like this is a healthy choice, because it like really 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:48.240 fucked me up. When I was like eighteen, I was 0:16:48.280 --> 0:16:52.680 doing that like that IFBB pro like body like no 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:56.200 one really knows this about me, but like yeah, and 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:59.920 I was just literally eating chicken, rice broccoli like every day. Yeah, 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.000 and it's not And then when I did the calm 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:08.119 and like, like I just just I honed into all 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:11.199 of this stuff. I felt so fucking sick and like 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:13.880 I feel like it's just sort of created this yo 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:16.679 yo for so many years. So just be like, I 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:20.040 don't know, I think like I support the seventy five hard, 0:17:20.440 --> 0:17:24.480 but I support like having a balance of like reaping 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.520 the rewards but not overdoing it. It was like, fuck, 0:17:27.680 --> 0:17:30.719 you will, Yeah, your body will just not be ready, 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:34.159 especially if you've like you're not deprived, but you've you know, 0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:39.280 you're having these like cravings but you're not giving it, 0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:41.600 Like they're still going to be there for a while. 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:42.639 Yeah you know. 0:17:42.760 --> 0:17:44.639 Yeah, I don't know. I don't know too much about 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:47.960 my body and science. Like I do like my own body, 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:53.159 but I just worry, like sometimes that creates such a 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:54.080 bad cycle. 0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:54.600 Yeah. 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:56.400 Well, the thing is what I want to make sure 0:17:56.440 --> 0:17:58.760 that people who are listening this isn't for everyone. 0:17:59.080 --> 0:18:00.520 I don't want to recommend anything. 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:03.560 This is something that you're doing for your I know 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:06.480 about myself is that if I want to make change 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:11.480 in my life for me personally, I need to make 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:14.960 you know, big decisions for big change. And I think 0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:18.080 that like I was looking for something I was on 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:22.600 the search for a challenge to put myself through. And 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:24.600 I don't think that it's for everyone. I don't think 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:26.200 that everyone needs to do it. And I don't think 0:18:26.240 --> 0:18:30.480 that Like, if you love ice cream and chocolate and 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:32.800 fizzy drink, go and eat it like I. 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:33.159 Can eat it. 0:18:33.240 --> 0:18:35.240 You know, do what you need to do to make 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:36.959 you happy. One of the best things in the world. 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:39.400 One of the most joyous things is having a meal. 0:18:39.880 --> 0:18:40.840 So you do, you boo. 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.680 I think it's hugely courageous for you to do this one. 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:51.320 Like I think it's like you said, it's not for everyone, 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:56.880 but one. It takes commitment, and you have committed. Ye committed. 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:57.359 I'm in it. 0:18:57.640 --> 0:18:59.960 Yeah. Yeah, you're halfway through, so I have to adnore 0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:06.320 acknowledge Like that is courageous. The self awareness that I've 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:11.000 seen from you. But just in this short period of time, 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:16.160 I reckon has like excelled massively. Like I think you're 0:19:16.200 --> 0:19:20.159 looking at yourself. You're not picking yourself apart, which I 0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:23.040 think is the best thing. I think you're you're looking 0:19:23.040 --> 0:19:26.720 at yourself. You're noticing some patterns of behavior and you're 0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:27.359 changing it. 0:19:27.560 --> 0:19:28.720 Yeah, And I think. 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:33.640 That like that is like, that is growth, that is evolving. 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:37.440 That is evolution. You're only gonna get better. But I 0:19:37.520 --> 0:19:40.920 also worry, like, sometimes you are very hard on yourself. 0:19:41.040 --> 0:19:43.880 I am, And you're like, if I don't do this, 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:46.080 I am a failure. Yeah, but I don't want you 0:19:46.119 --> 0:19:46.679 to believe that. 0:19:47.200 --> 0:19:51.000 Well, you know what, I'll be honest with you. I 0:19:51.000 --> 0:19:54.440 I am hard on myself. But I've had so many 0:19:54.480 --> 0:19:57.399