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Speaker 1: Coming up on relatables? What made you realize a good

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Speaker 1: man is just an average woman?

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Speaker 2: When I went on a date with a.

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Speaker 3: Girl, Oh I saw so many.

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Speaker 2: I saw getting a girlfriend after only dating men my

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Speaker 2: whole life.

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Speaker 4: Oh it must be mind blowy relatable relatables podcast.

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Speaker 2: It is hosted by myself, Jake Craig aka mister D

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Speaker 2: and my partner in crime, Addie Clark aka missus m

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Speaker 2: Yeah that's me and Addie is missus m short for

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Speaker 2: mummy because he's the one you go to when you

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Speaker 2: know you got some boy problems.

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Speaker 1: And Jake is mister D short for mister Dick because

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Speaker 1: he has a massive penis. Let's go what mommy's hyping

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Speaker 1: you up today?

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Speaker 2: And this is a relatables podcast where you come to

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Speaker 2: find a sense of belonging now maybe today, maybe today?

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Speaker 2: Who knows to be completely Hopefully we talk about something

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Speaker 2: in a silly goofy mood. Yeah we don't. If we

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Speaker 2: switch up the intro, we don't. Really. It's a bit

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Speaker 2: of a free style. Yeah, but Oddie, I've asked for

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Speaker 2: the tip top of today's episode because I have a story.

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Speaker 1: Some would say the chop top, the chop top, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: not a fan of chalk Top podcast over.

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Speaker 2: Recent like ice cream what like I need to be

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Speaker 2: desperate for something about like you know the movies chop Top. No, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I've never like one of those.

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Speaker 1: Trucks at the beach ice cream chop Top melts on top.

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Speaker 2: Like, I need to be desperate if I have an

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Speaker 2: ice cream desperate, I don't even care how hot it is.

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Speaker 1: This tip top segment, you've got to start better, be good.

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Speaker 2: I actually think you might like it. So I want

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Speaker 2: to start off. It's a bit of a story of

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Speaker 2: something that happened to me last week. It didn't actually

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Speaker 2: happen to me, but I was semi part of it.

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Speaker 2: But I need to think, so I need to preface

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Speaker 2: or just let everyone know. Two things we as we

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Speaker 2: know so Beth has had her license for six months,

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Speaker 2: about about six months, right, And another thing that I

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Speaker 2: would like to just have let everyone know is that

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Speaker 2: Henry's Henry's dog bowl is a ceramic slow feeder that

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Speaker 2: costs ninety dollars.

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Speaker 1: Okay, what's a ceramic slow feeder?

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Speaker 2: So it's a ceramic bowl, but it's a slow feeder.

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Speaker 2: So there's things in the bowl where the food gets

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Speaker 2: like wedged in, so it's it's hard for him to

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Speaker 2: get it, so it's like a mental stimulation, and so

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Speaker 2: he has a ninety dollars slow feeder. Okay, the two

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Speaker 2: things everyone needs to know, Yeah, Thursday last week. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm at home as I am when I'm not here,

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Speaker 2: going about my day.

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Speaker 1: The two places Jake's ever the podcast studio and home.

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Speaker 2: So we also just had a new roommate moving named Amy,

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Speaker 2: and Amy and Beth work together, so do they? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: They they both work for the same married couple, and

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Speaker 2: the wife of the couple owns the cafe that Beth manages,

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Speaker 2: and the husband owns a different business that is ran

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Speaker 2: at the same place with you, and so Amy's the

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Speaker 2: manager of that. So they've been working there for a

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Speaker 2: long time. And Amy, she has just moved in. So

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Speaker 2: they go to work together now. And so Thursday morning

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Speaker 2: they go off to work. I'm doing my thing at

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Speaker 2: home obviously, just being a king, big dicked king as

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Speaker 2: you would, as you might say from the start of

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Speaker 2: the app and I mean Henry at chillin And then

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Speaker 2: it gets to I want to say, about four four o'clockish,

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Speaker 2: maybe I tell a lie seven seven o'clock. That's working

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Speaker 2: late this day, right, So it gets to seven and

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Speaker 2: I am about to just like, I'm waiting for Beth

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Speaker 2: to get home, and I'm about to feed Henry okay

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Speaker 2: in his ninety dollars dog bowl. And I get a

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Speaker 2: phone call from Beth and I'm like, yep, oh hello,

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Speaker 2: and she goes, Oh my gosh. She's like Jake. She goes,

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Speaker 2: I've done the dumbest things I am. I'm such an idiot, right,

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Speaker 2: And I hear her sister in the background, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, because I sister works at the cafe, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, what what what? She goes, Oh, I just

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Speaker 2: got back to my car after finishing work and I

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Speaker 2: left it on all day, the car eight hours. She's

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Speaker 2: left the car on for eight hours. Keep in mind

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Speaker 2: Beth works on an island, so she drives to a jetti,

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Speaker 2: gets picked up by a boat boat to the island,

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Speaker 2: boat back. How do you leave your car on? And

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Speaker 2: she's actually left it on for about twelve hours, No way,

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Speaker 2: just sitting there. Yeah, surely the bat she would have

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Speaker 2: died because it was a movie. So she goes, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was just on and I was like, okay, I

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Speaker 2: was like Jesus Christ, Like, you're lucky it was still on. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: fel Beth and her sister love to fuck with me

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Speaker 2: and they love to fuck with people in general. So

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Speaker 2: she goes, she tells me that and then she goes

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Speaker 2: so and I was like, okay, believable, Like how do

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Speaker 2: you make this up? Yeah? So then she goes and

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Speaker 2: but but now my car won't start, and I was like, liar.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I was like, I like how you

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Speaker 2: went with this. I was like, yeah, cool, that's fine,

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Speaker 2: but you're not going to trick me, Like I know

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Speaker 2: you just told me you're still on missed the big

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Speaker 2: D Yeah, Like I know you just told me it

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Speaker 2: was still on. Yeah, there was no Jake, I'm telling

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Speaker 2: you the truth. Like Caitlin's giving me a lift home

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Speaker 2: right now. That's her sister. And I was like, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: whatever whatever. And I didn't believe it. I didn't believe her.

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Speaker 2: And so then I go to feed Henry. And where

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Speaker 2: where Henry's dog ball comes into play is I was

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Speaker 2: getting him ready. I fed. I went over fed Henry

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Speaker 2: and we like to train it. We've trained him where

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Speaker 2: you put the dog bowl down and he waits for

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Speaker 2: the release word of go, and so I got to

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Speaker 2: put it down and he goes to go for it,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, my pull up, motherfucker. I pull

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Speaker 2: up and he sits back and I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's right, I gotta put it back down. It goes

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Speaker 2: for it again. It was like, Henry, pull it too quick,

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Speaker 2: flip it shatters. What's the correlation between death story and

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Speaker 2: the door it, It's just something that happened. Okay, that happens.

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Speaker 2: And so that shatters, and I'm like, oh, and I

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Speaker 2: didn't pay for it, paid for it, bloody butterfingers over.

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Speaker 5: It, and so I'm like, oh, what the fuck okay,

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Speaker 5: and I just am like, Henry, get away from it.

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Speaker 5: I had to go dish him up another bit of

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Speaker 5: food in a different bowl.

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Speaker 2: And give it to him, clean up the mess. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh fuck, Like that's that's gonna be dead.

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Speaker 2: She gets home and she's she walks in the door

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Speaker 2: and like, she drives home. She walks in the door,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, d so she did drive home. So

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Speaker 2: she drives home or door.

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Speaker 6: And and I'm like, hey, hey, you idiot, you left

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Speaker 6: your car here, go away. And then she comes over

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Speaker 6: and I go, I need to tell you something, and

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Speaker 6: I showed her.

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Speaker 2: The dog bowl. She's devoed. She goes, but she's kind

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Speaker 2: of like on a high from her car. Still she's like,

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Speaker 2: I can't believe I did that. I'm an idiot. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, I got to get I'll get

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Speaker 2: you a new dog bowl. And so then at this

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Speaker 2: point I'm just like fully thinking, yeah, she was just lying,

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Speaker 2: Like you try to play prank of me, You're not

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Speaker 2: going to get me. And then I go down to

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Speaker 2: sit down to eat my dinner and her dad calls her.

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Speaker 2: She says, hey dad, and he's just calling to say hi,

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Speaker 2: and he goes, oh my god, I did the dumbest

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Speaker 2: thing today. And he's like what, and she goes, I

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Speaker 2: left my car on and and all day he goes,

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Speaker 2: no way, no way. She goes, yeah, and now it

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Speaker 2: won't start. It's still there. Caitlyn gave me a lift home,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, you weren't lying. She goes, no,

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Speaker 2: I wasn't lying. I'm telling you right now my car

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Speaker 2: is not here. And I was thinking she's not just

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Speaker 2: going to tell her dad the same life for no reason. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: not at all, And so turns out her car literally

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Speaker 2: wouldn't start.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right, so I assume it would have happened, like

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Speaker 1: she got there, turned it off, try to turn back on,

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Speaker 1: and it.

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Speaker 2: Just wouldn't start. So then at fucking eight pm, by

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Speaker 2: the time she's home, we've got to go out fill

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Speaker 2: up a jerry can with fuel, drive to her car,

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Speaker 2: which is, to be fair only five minutes away with

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Speaker 2: no traffic, drive to a car, put it in the

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Speaker 2: car so she can go get her a fucking car, right, okay? Interesting?

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Speaker 2: Was she going to work the next day? Yeah? Okay,

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Speaker 2: that's why. And I was like, you fucking idiot.

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Speaker 1: Like she had like a semi new car, like it's

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Speaker 1: brand new almost it's brand new. It is brand new

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Speaker 1: for the Enginet, it would have just been idle petrol.

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Speaker 2: It was just idle in the whole time. It locked

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Speaker 2: in everything and everything.

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Speaker 1: That's funny. Makes it funnier that she's on her red piece.

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Speaker 2: It makes it funnier that she's on her red piece.

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Speaker 2: And also like Beth is hands down one of the

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Speaker 2: smartest people I know, but when it comes to like

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Speaker 2: random sort of things, she's the dumbest person.

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Speaker 1: But it becomes a point where a lot of people

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Speaker 1: are really book smart, but I don't know if I

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Speaker 1: want to call it life smart. But a lot of

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Speaker 1: people miss a few social cues or miss a few cues.

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Speaker 2: She just missed whatever this was. Yeah, the other day

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Speaker 2: she asked me if she needs to bring her passport

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Speaker 2: to Balley, not taking the piss, dead serious, aprocated bed.

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Speaker 2: But he's sure she's one of the smartest people. You know,

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Speaker 2: dead serious. Did you say, like, it's another country?

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Speaker 5: I was like, so taken back, I was like, yes,

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Speaker 5: you fucking need to bring it to fucking is it

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Speaker 5: part of Australia.

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Speaker 2: What are you talking about? That is funny, it was,

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Speaker 2: But yeah, so I needed to tell the story about

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Speaker 2: her fucking doing that. I could not believe it. That's Funnyways,

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Speaker 2: how are you? I'm good man, I'm good. That was

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Speaker 2: a good story to kick things off.

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Speaker 1: I've got a little bit of a story.

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Speaker 2: I might put mine in the.

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Speaker 1: Dilemma category as well.

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Speaker 2: Yours is he he ha ha. Mine is real life.

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Speaker 1: Choices need to be made and I want to make

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Speaker 1: them with you and the baddies.

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Speaker 2: Sweet.

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Speaker 1: So, as a lot of you know, a couple of

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Speaker 1: weeks ago, it was my birthday and we're starting to

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Speaker 1: realize that friends aren't putting effort in anymore, and on

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Speaker 1: my birthday, out of harsh reality where one of my

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Speaker 1: close friends didn't want to put any effort in anyways.

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Speaker 1: So now here's where the dilemma comes in. So this friend,

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Speaker 1: I guess.

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Speaker 2: You could say, has done me badly, but it was

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Speaker 2: just rude. It was rude.

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Speaker 1: We haven't been talking and I haven't decided if I

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Speaker 1: want to continue the friendship.

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Speaker 2: Well, quick backstory, just in case anyone missed it is

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Speaker 2: or he gave two months notice to everyone invited to

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Speaker 2: his birthday. It was a one and one and a

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Speaker 2: half hour drive away for everyone that lives around here.

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Speaker 2: It was five minutes for me, which is graceful of you.

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Speaker 2: But everyone confirmed, two months notice, confirmed, booking set right.

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Speaker 2: And then the day of the birthday, this particular friend

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Speaker 2: sent a message just saying, I have another job to

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Speaker 2: go to don't know if I can make the lunch

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Speaker 2: that and that's all he said, Happy birthday. Nothing.

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Speaker 1: That's this a quick backstory. Yeah, which was like a

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Speaker 1: harsh reality. Anyway, this is where the dilemma comes in.

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Speaker 1: I guess so, and it's kind of like a reoccurring

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Speaker 1: thing because I want to call it, I'm tired of

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Speaker 1: being the bigger person. So I found out this friend

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Speaker 1: has had something happen to him where I would usually

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Speaker 1: reach out and ask if he's okay. But usually I

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Speaker 1: would just be the bigger person and call him and

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Speaker 1: make sure he's okay. But I've been doing that for

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Speaker 1: fucking my whole adult life with all my friends and

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Speaker 1: putting the effort in, and this might be the first

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Speaker 1: time where I'm like, I'm tired of being the bigger person.

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Speaker 1: I'm tired of putting a hand out when they're not

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Speaker 1: putting in the equal or the equivalent amount of effort

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Speaker 1: for a relationship, which is what an effort, which is

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Speaker 1: what a relationship is. So my dilemma is like, do

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Speaker 1: I put my hand out and I know he's fine,

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Speaker 1: but it's the nice thing and it's what a friend

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Speaker 1: would do and say what are under the bridge and

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Speaker 1: then reach out, or do I finally be like a

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Speaker 1: little bit selfish I guess and be like fuck that

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Speaker 1: he's a dog.

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing anything going on with my life. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's I've been so I when I found out about

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Speaker 2: what he went through, which when we say it, it

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Speaker 2: sounds super grim, but it's just like a normal thing

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Speaker 2: everyone goes through. But it's like a life event, yes, right,

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Speaker 2: and we don't want to be like too hell specific,

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Speaker 2: even though if you listened to this he would know

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Speaker 2: who it is. But anyways, when I found out, I

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Speaker 2: was thinking, do I do I reach out? He's also

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Speaker 2: your Yeah it's made as well. Yeah yeah, yeah, Like

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Speaker 2: I was thinking do I reach out? Because I was like,

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Speaker 2: fucking so off him from from doing that on your birthday.

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Speaker 2: And then I said to Beth, I said, oh, you know,

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Speaker 2: I think it was actually before, I think it was

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Speaker 2: when we had our suspicions of what we thought happened,

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Speaker 2: but it wasn't confirmed. I said to Beth like, oh,

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Speaker 2: you know, I know, I know where I know. I'm

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Speaker 2: off him for that, but what he did to Oddie.

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Speaker 2: But I we're a bit sussed that this may have happened,

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Speaker 2: you know. Maybe that's why he didn't go. Maybe that's

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Speaker 2: why he didn't handle it. Well, I have no idea.

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Speaker 2: And then I was like at the same time, fuck that,

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Speaker 2: Like why is that an excuse? You know, why isn't

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Speaker 2: it It's not a good excuse to be a ship

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Speaker 2: friend and she was kind of like, no, I'm with you.

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Speaker 2: I'm off that because she said like, did you up

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Speaker 2: calling him? I said no, I didn't. She goes, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: I think it's just like the sitt excuse for and so.

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Speaker 2: But now that it's confirmed, still I'm like, do I

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Speaker 2: call him? And is the right thing to do as

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Speaker 2: a friend to call him ask him how he is?

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Speaker 2: But then also like just let him know that what

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Speaker 2: he did on your birthday was super rude and just

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Speaker 2: be and and then at least it's not from you

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Speaker 2: and it's from me and so and just be like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: so he's gonna say he's okay. I know he's probably not,

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Speaker 2: but you can do your best to try and talk

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Speaker 2: to him and let him know you're there. Yeah. But

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Speaker 2: then I was thinking like do I do I call

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Speaker 2: him and say, hey, how would happen?

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Speaker 1: How are you?

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Speaker 2: And he's gonna say yep, good, cool, cool? And then

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Speaker 2: do I just be like what was with Lotty's birthday?

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Speaker 2: Like how can you did that? And he's gonna he's

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Speaker 2: gonna go oh oh. On the defense, I was busy,

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Speaker 2: I had work, and then I'm going to do to

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Speaker 2: give the classic you had two months notice, you could

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Speaker 2: have got work off pretty fucking easily and then let

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Speaker 2: him know that it's rude and then end it there

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Speaker 2: and then it's balls in his court, like you know,

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Speaker 2: if he apologizes to you, we apologize to you or

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Speaker 2: do I Just my debate is leave, That's what I mean.

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Speaker 1: And usually I would be the bigger person and call

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Speaker 1: them and say all those things. And that's what I

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Speaker 1: would usually do. But I'm getting to an age and

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Speaker 1: just forgive the birthday and forgive it. And but I'm

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Speaker 1: getting to an age where I'm like, I'm kind of

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Speaker 1: like thinking, like fuck that, I'm over it. I'm ever

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Speaker 1: being treated this way. I'm over putting in the effort

301
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Speaker 1: when no one else is. Yeah, And like I guess

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Speaker 1: we talk about it a lot more recently. The older

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Speaker 1: we're getting, our friendships are starting to disappear. But I guess,

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Speaker 1: is this one where I kind of have control because

305
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Speaker 1: I'm tired of it? Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I mean, let's say, I guess, playing Devil's advocate, if

307
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Speaker 2: we put ourselves in his shoes and the same thing

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Speaker 2: happened to us, I dare say it was within the

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Speaker 2: week before leading up to your birthday.

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Speaker 1: Lunch, if the same thing happened to us, I think

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Speaker 1: it's more of a reason to hang out with your friends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, at the same time, it's like deals with grief

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Speaker 2: in their own way. Yeah, like trying to put it

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Speaker 2: and you say grief. No one died, but like it's

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Speaker 2: grief in a way. But at the same time, fuck it.

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Speaker 2: He went through a breakup, guys, Jesus yea, it's hard

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Speaker 2: to be around the bush. So if we went through

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Speaker 2: a breakup and we had the same because I remember

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Speaker 2: having been through breakups where I had a heartbreak, and

320
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Speaker 2: sometimes you don't feel like doing anything, but then there

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Speaker 2: is times where it's like you do feel like doing something.

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Speaker 2: So playing Devil's Advocate, does he have a leg to

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Speaker 2: stand on? Because he was going through something he couldn't

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Speaker 2: feel like he could He didn't feel as though he

325
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Speaker 2: could talk about it. Maybe he feels like he's been

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Speaker 2: a bit disconnected from you, so he didn't want to

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Speaker 2: bring it up. He didn't want to like tell you, oh,

328
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Speaker 2: here's why I can't come, and then you feel bad

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Speaker 2: for him on your birthday.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know though, but like even so, like

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Speaker 1: prior to this, I'd messaged him like three or four times,

332
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Speaker 1: with like different events to go to or when to

333
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Speaker 1: hang out. Yeah, I was just getting aired and having

334
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,320
Speaker 1: shitty little responses through So I'm just like, fuck, I

335
00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 1: was just like, I think I'm going to be selfish

336
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Speaker 1: and not doing anything I'm not.

337
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Speaker 2: I wouldn't blame you at all. Yeah, you at all.

338
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Speaker 2: And it kind of it's hard for me to accept

339
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Speaker 2: too that I'm doing that.

340
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Speaker 1: But I think the older I get, the more I'm

341
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Speaker 1: starting to realize that the people around me are cherished

342
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Speaker 1: so much. And if you're not in my close circle

343
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Speaker 1: and you don't want to put the effort into the

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Speaker 1: amount I'm putting in, fuck you.

345
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Speaker 2: Look, I would one hundred percent agree. It is hard. Yeah,

346
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Speaker 2: I think with this particular friend it's been.

347
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Speaker 1: I also want to leave it because he's a man

348
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Speaker 1: who isn't like us and wouldn't.

349
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Speaker 2: Be thinking about all these things. No, I don't think

350
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Speaker 2: you would think like, no, fit bad about No, he

351
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:09,399
Speaker 2: just wouldn't.

352
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Speaker 1: He'd just be like, I'm a bloke. I'm going to

353
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Speaker 1: get all my life. It doesn't matter. Yeah, I think

354
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 1: he is. Yeah, he's got that mindset and the fact

355
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,600
Speaker 1: that he's like that. I'm just going to see what happens. A.

356
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,679
Speaker 1: I think ye, if it was you, and like, for

357
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:27,560
Speaker 1: argument's sake, say you did that, we would voice and

358
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Speaker 1: sit down and have an emotional conversation about how it

359
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 1: made me feel and how you did it and how

360
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Speaker 1: you were sad about breaking up.

361
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Speaker 2: But I don't think he has a tool to do that. Yeah,

362
00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 2: and it's just funny, like I'm not going to.

363
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 1: Talk to him in that way and saying you hurt

364
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Speaker 1: my feelings by not coming to my birthday. I would

365
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,920
Speaker 1: never say that to him. He wouldn't understand. He'd be like,

366
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Speaker 1: you're bitch.

367
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,760
Speaker 2: But maybe it could make Maybe you could. And then

368
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 2: what it could be is like that's you actually again,

369
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Speaker 2: like you're being the bigger person but also standing up

370
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Speaker 2: for yourself. At the same time, you're letting him know

371
00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:58,640
Speaker 2: that what he did hurt your feelings. Sorry that you're

372
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,439
Speaker 2: going through what you're going through, but what you did

373
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:03,199
Speaker 2: actually hurt my feelings. It was fucked up, Like it

374
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:06,159
Speaker 2: was just fucking rude. And then if he decides to

375
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Speaker 2: go down the route of like, oh, boohoo, fucking my

376
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,080
Speaker 2: name's already that my friend didn't come to my birthday.

377
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:17,639
Speaker 2: Fucked up being a bitch. Yeah, then it's kind of like, okay,

378
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,400
Speaker 2: maybe your feelings were hurt even more. But then it's

379
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 2: also appreciate the fact that you did that, and then

380
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 2: he showed true colors, and then you know, like you

381
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,880
Speaker 2: don't have to be thinking, am I making the right decision?

382
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,280
Speaker 2: Not like you, there's no dilemma, you know what I mean.

383
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,399
Speaker 2: There would be no dilemma in whether or not you

384
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:40,000
Speaker 2: actually reach out or not, whereas if maybe he would

385
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Speaker 2: apologize and then maybe you get to keep a friend.

386
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 2: So that's another aspect because in that way, you it's

387
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,600
Speaker 2: it's not someone you would voice your opinion to about

388
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,000
Speaker 2: how they made you feel. But then at least you're

389
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:54,560
Speaker 2: giving him the chance. I've done my part, so you've

390
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,880
Speaker 2: done your part. You're being the bigger person but also

391
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 2: sticking up for yourself, and you're giving him the chance

392
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:04,879
Speaker 2: to also show some sort of empathy. And if he

393
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,480
Speaker 2: doesn't show it, and it's like, okay, well chance after

394
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 2: chance of chance, now you get none more chances.

395
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,679
Speaker 1: I do like that, and I guess that could be

396
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,199
Speaker 1: the move that is giving him some benefit of the

397
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,159
Speaker 1: doubt because I don't know completely what's going on in

398
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:16,679
Speaker 1: his life.

399
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 2: No true. Someone left a comment I remember when we

400
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 2: first spoke about it, giving him the benefit of out

401
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 2: you don't know what everyone's going through and stuff. And

402
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 2: again I looked at it and I just thought, there's

403
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 2: no excuse to be a ship friend. Though. I just

404
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 2: I think that there's never an excuse to be a

405
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,000
Speaker 2: ship friend where it's so easy to say I'm not

406
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:35,440
Speaker 2: coming for this reason. I'm so sorry, happy birthday. We

407
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,879
Speaker 2: wouldn't be having this conversation otherwise. Yeah, yeah, if he

408
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 2: even if we thought the reason wasn't very valid, but

409
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,359
Speaker 2: he was like, I'm so sorry. If he called me

410
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:43,320
Speaker 2: not feeling up to it.

411
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,879
Speaker 1: If he called me and said, like a birthday man,

412
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,080
Speaker 1: hope you had a good day when you get up

413
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,919
Speaker 1: to you had a five minute conversation and he said, oh,

414
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 1: by the way, i'm calling because I can't make it today.

415
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,880
Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't even need an excuse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah,

416
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,800
Speaker 2: just talk to me so like a human being. Yeah.

417
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,120
Speaker 1: Fuck, I'm wondering if it's worth it, not like I'm

418
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 1: your fucking boss. Make it today, sorry dude, Yeah, shit,

419
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,359
Speaker 1: fuck off, it is. I do like what you said, though, Yeah,

420
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 1: I think yeah, trying to play Devil's ad. I think

421
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,360
Speaker 1: that's maybe more the more mature.

422
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 2: Response, maybe yeah, But I got to say, like, I'm

423
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 2: also the type to be like, yeah, fuck off.

424
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,800
Speaker 1: Interesting, I'm gonna dwell on a little bit more. I

425
00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,760
Speaker 1: do think I might link towards that, because you're right,

426
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:29,880
Speaker 1: it gives the friendship the closure it needs, or the chance.

427
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 2: To still be there. Yeah. Scary thing to do as well,

428
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 2: because I do value it. Yeah well I did, Yeah

429
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 2: you did? Yeah anymore? Alright, guys, Time for field versus field,

430
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 2: where we compare dating on regular apps.

431
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,400
Speaker 1: To dating on field, where the connections are way more

432
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,040
Speaker 1: open minded.

433
00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:03,760
Speaker 2: Week one is firstge etiquet, all right. On regular apps,

434
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 2: it's just hey, or how's your weak? Super groundbreaking on field,

435
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 2: blindfolded dessert tasting dot dot dot you in mate, straight

436
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,439
Speaker 2: to the good stuff, no small talk. Just here's what

437
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:19,760
Speaker 2: I'm into. Let's go.

438
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,560
Speaker 1: Honestly, it's like really refreshing to hear that, hey.

439
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 2: Fields where people are up front, coffee dates, rope workshops

440
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 2: or anything in between, they don't gate keep connection.

441
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:33,160
Speaker 1: In an age where dating apps create hurdles defining your people.

442
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 2: Field is built differently, where they don't guide your desires.

443
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 2: It wouldn't be possible anyway. You will neither be punished

444
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 2: nor rewarded for exploring your desires unless that's your thing.

445
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: Download Field and find your blind folded dessert partner, Baddie.

446
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:58,040
Speaker 2: Time for the IG question this week was a good one,

447
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 2: very good. Right before and get into it, I just

448
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 2: want to say quickly, over on Patreon, that's only five

449
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: dollars a month, and you get book Club early. You

450
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 2: get an extra episode every Thursday, and every time we

451
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,440
Speaker 2: watch a show, you're going to get some live reactions

452
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:20,160
Speaker 2: to the show and you can watch along with.

453
00:23:20,160 --> 00:23:23,320
Speaker 1: Us, and if you're lucky, might get to see mister D.

454
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,240
Speaker 2: You might get to see mister D.

455
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 1: Guys, technically, technically, technically, technically that as you will.

456
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 2: Short and sweet, but it helps a lot. We really

457
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 2: appreciate it. It does help. But this week's question of

458
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,480
Speaker 2: the week is what made you realize a good man

459
00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:43,840
Speaker 2: is just an average woman.

460
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and this question actually has been in the back

461
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: of my brain for a while. I think someone commented

462
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: ages ago, a good man is just an average woman.

463
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 2: How to pose it into a question? Because it's so

464
00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 2: fucking true.

465
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 1: All these expectations of men are so low, and all

466
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,160
Speaker 1: these women are doing amazing things, and then a man

467
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 1: will to do fucking all these things and like, well

468
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,160
Speaker 1: he's a good dude.

469
00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:11,400
Speaker 2: I mean, it's just yeah, they're just doing ordinary thing, Yeah,

470
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:17,440
Speaker 2: ordinary ordinary things. Crazy. Do you want to go first? Okay,

471
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:24,520
Speaker 2: this one, bro, when my male friends are praised as

472
00:24:25,119 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 2: hands on dads, but there's no such thing as a

473
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:29,960
Speaker 2: hands on mum.

474
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:30,719
Speaker 6: Yo.

475
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 2: That is a bit mind blowing. Actually.

476
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 1: My first one, it's funny you pick that as your

477
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 1: first one, too, is when men get praised for babysitting

478
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:41,959
Speaker 1: their kids.

479
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:47,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is fucking kid, dude. That is swearing a lot.

480
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,639
Speaker 2: I'm very passionate, Yeah, very passionate. Episode. There's only one

481
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 2: way to make get passionate out, and that's swearing. Yeah.

482
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,600
Speaker 2: I got a bit emotional before. Now I'm passionate. But no,

483
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 2: how crazy, Yeah that is crazy. It is. It's going

484
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:00,640
Speaker 2: back to like.

485
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:06,320
Speaker 1: That nineteen hundreds mindset of like a man just works

486
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 1: and the woman's meant to do everything else, and when

487
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:12,200
Speaker 1: he does do the most little thing, it's appreciated so much.

488
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 2: It is it's like he's doing extra Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, wow, wow,

489
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 2: people talk about hands on dads all the time. Have

490
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,439
Speaker 2: you seen that trend where it's like I've seen so

491
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:32,280
Speaker 2: many of the videos where it's like a quote on

492
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 2: the screen and it's and it goes, oh, your husband's

493
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 2: you know, so involved, and then the next one is, yeah,

494
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 2: I didn't fucking marry a dick. Yeah, I didn't marry

495
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:43,960
Speaker 2: a loser type thing.

496
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 1: Cassie did one Cassie said, doesn't your boyfriend care? You

497
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 1: always go solo traveling, and then she goes.

498
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,600
Speaker 2: And then she goes, No, I didn't. I didn't date

499
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 2: a loser. Yeah, like I didn't start dating a fucking loser.

500
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 2: Yeah that's insane. Yeah, good way to put it.

501
00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, what made you realize a good man is

502
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: just an average woman being busy with life but making

503
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 1: effort to see you is praised.

504
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 2: Facts, bro fucking hell. Yeah, it's weird. Hey, And there's

505
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,960
Speaker 2: like that joke that every.

506
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: Family makes that men can't multitask, and when they do,

507
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 1: it's praise so much. Yes, my every woman is so

508
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:32,360
Speaker 1: good at multitasking, which they are. Yeah, but like that's

509
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,640
Speaker 1: just girls for some reason, that's just women.

510
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:41,360
Speaker 2: Dude, I don't know, it's yeah, I gotta say it's

511
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 2: also hard, like there's a blurred line of what the

512
00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 2: bare minimum actually is now because there is people out

513
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:51,199
Speaker 2: there that are wowed by the bare minimum. So some

514
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:55,440
Speaker 2: people would classify X as the bare minimum, but it's

515
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,880
Speaker 2: the But then some people would be like, oh my god,

516
00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 2: I can't believe you did that type bare minimum like

517
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 2: this one. Yeah, when I ended up applauding him for

518
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 2: doing laundry and making dinner, standards were that low.

519
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like being relatable for the counterpart and

520
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:10,720
Speaker 1: the relationship that.

521
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 2: Becomes your normal.

522
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, and when something that is ordinary happens, you think

523
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:15,720
Speaker 1: it's amazing.

524
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 2: Exactly. Yeah, the new normal is him sitting around doing

525
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,200
Speaker 2: fuck all, and then when he gets up and has

526
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:26,439
Speaker 2: some initiative to do the laundry and do the and

527
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 2: cook some cook a meal. Yeah, you're like, whoa.

528
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 1: I want to be Devil's advocate to a sense, because

529
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 1: some people like that if that's all they do, If

530
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 1: that makes sense?

531
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:46,600
Speaker 2: Does that make sense? I think it does. Some people

532
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 2: like that.

533
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,719
Speaker 1: Where we're saying both people in the relationship want each

534
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: other to do a lot of effort. I know a

535
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 1: lot of relationships where both people don't want to do

536
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 1: any effort. So this is when someone does do something like.

537
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 2: That, I guess it's their level. Yeah, that's their level.

538
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 1: I don't want to shoot on anyone's relationship if.

539
00:28:03,800 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 2: That's what they like. Oh yeah, true, Yeah, you don't

540
00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 2: want to get anyone spiraling. Yeah, should they just be doing?

541
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: Because I can appreciate if you don't want to put

542
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 1: it doesn't sound right. But if you don't want to

543
00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 1: put any effort in either, and you both don't do

544
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 1: it together, you're a good team.

545
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 2: I guess. I guess, yeah, you made for each other.

546
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 2: It kind of sounds bad. I mean, I guess you're

547
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 2: trying to play devil's advertage. Yeah, it is what it is. Okay.

548
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: What made you realize a good man is just an

549
00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:29,639
Speaker 1: average woman? When I went on a date with a girl?

550
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 3: Oh I saw so many I saw well, getting a

551
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 3: girlfriend after only dating men my whole life.

552
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 4: Oh, it must be mind blowing.

553
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 2: It must be different.

554
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know what sucks sometimes like dudes.

555
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,360
Speaker 2: Oh, I reckon the worst. It must be the worst

556
00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 2: thing in the world being a heterosexual woman. Yeah yeah, yeah,

557
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,959
Speaker 2: what made you realize a good man is just an

558
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 2: average woman? When I'm organized and on top of things.

559
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 2: It's expected when my boyfriend is, it's above and beyond legit.

560
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: That's the whole concept, the whole entire concept. Oh it's crazy.

561
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 1: Hey, I don't like treating our own horn either, But like,

562
00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 1: why are some men like that? And like is it

563
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:25,720
Speaker 1: just down to how you how what makes up your DNA?

564
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, Or like is it a choice?

565
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: I'd like to think it's a choice and these people

566
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 1: aren't making the choice.

567
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:38,520
Speaker 2: No, it's a choice, yeah, you know, No, No, it's definitely

568
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 2: a choice. I think it's definitely a choice. I think

569
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 2: everyone knows what the bare minimum is. I think every

570
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: man knows what the bare minimum is. I do think

571
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 2: they do know that, and so I think that there

572
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 2: is an active choice made where laziness comes into play

573
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 2: and lack of effort and kind of that's not what

574
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 2: I do. And I am who I am. You started

575
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 2: dating me or you married me when I was like this,

576
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 2: why would I change? I think that's the mentality. Yeah,

577
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 2: you know, stubborn. It's not like I've gone downhill. I

578
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: was here the whole time, and now you want me

579
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 2: to go uphill, even though uphill is just to the

580
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: bare minimum.

581
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,480
Speaker 1: It's kind of like how you view relationships.

582
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 2: I guess like that always work.

583
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 1: It's like you can always improve, you can always learn,

584
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: and you can also always change your standards.

585
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,960
Speaker 2: Within a relationship. And can you grow together?

586
00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 1: Or does one person think that that's just how I am?

587
00:30:41,760 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 2: That's crazy?

588
00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:44,479
Speaker 1: What made you realize a good man is just an

589
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: average woman? When a good man has a job, the

590
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 1: average woman is advancing her career.

591
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 2: Never thought of it.

592
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:58,320
Speaker 1: Like that, wow, And we always see on all of

593
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:00,959
Speaker 1: our questions like anything about the bare Minim'm all like,

594
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 1: what do you look for in a man? It's just

595
00:31:02,360 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 1: like a good job or like full time employment, whereas

596
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,120
Speaker 1: girls are being boss ass bitches.

597
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,000
Speaker 2: Damn bro, I mean the way I know, I never

598
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 2: thought of it like that. Ah, wow, that is good.

599
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,960
Speaker 2: Well here's one on that. What made you realize that

600
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: a good man is just an average woman? When he

601
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 2: was proud of himself for working a whole forty hour week. Ah,

602
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,840
Speaker 2: to be fair with what we do. That's kind of

603
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 2: me to be fair. Forty weeks for me, I feel busy. Yeah, sorry,

604
00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 2: forty hours for me.

605
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:48,520
Speaker 3: I'm like fuck, toxic big week, toxic mate, big week.

606
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 2: Leave me alone. It's also different though, because like you

607
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 2: can't track when you work. It's funny.

608
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: But also, okay, this one's good. What made you realize

609
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 1: a good man? It's just an average woman. When you

610
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 1: have a loyal man, you go around bragging like it's

611
00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 1: an achievement.

612
00:32:06,240 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 2: Damn, what the hell? Yeah? Wow, I have nothing to

613
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:19,240
Speaker 2: say to that. That's so true, you know, putting in

614
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 2: a pros and cons list, he's loyal even on the list.

615
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:28,640
Speaker 2: Should be a should be default. Like what that's crazy?

616
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:33,400
Speaker 2: That is so so true. Okay, what made you realize

617
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 2: a good man is just an average woman? When a

618
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 2: guy said, quote, a clean workout, don't smoke or do

619
00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:45,160
Speaker 2: drugs like every dating bio ever. Am I supposed to

620
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 2: be impressed? You mean you're just a human. Yeah, you

621
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 2: mean you live a normal human life and you're not

622
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 2: just a fucking Idiot's because the bar is so low, bro,

623
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 2: the bar has been buried. That's what's happened.

624
00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:00,440
Speaker 1: I saw some people comment saying, ah, you guys are

625
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,880
Speaker 1: raising the bar now, there's no man.

626
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 2: Stop doing it. Do something toxic.

627
00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, hey, I tell you what that forty week one

628
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,520
Speaker 5: living die, I'll be toxic living die.

629
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:15,200
Speaker 2: Work week for me is too much.

630
00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 1: Okay, what made you realize a good man is just

631
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: an average woman, not complaining when sick, just dealing with

632
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 1: the inconveniences.

633
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:22,080
Speaker 2: It couldn't be me.

634
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 1: I'll put my hand up. I admit that that's me

635
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: as well.

636
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 2: I am not good at being sick.

637
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 1: I've been sick for like two weeks on and off.

638
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: I've just been complaining how hard life is.

639
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 2: This is unfair. Not one, not one part of me

640
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 2: sees the light at the end of the time when

641
00:33:41,600 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 2: I'm sick.

642
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: Man flu See, we can be toxic to Yeah, we're

643
00:33:47,120 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: not perfect by any means.

644
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,840
Speaker 2: Okay, what made you realize a good man is just

645
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 2: an average woman. I've never had to ask my friends

646
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 2: for something but had to repeatedly remind a man.

647
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, that's like fucking we experience that one too. Whenever,

648
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: like you pay for something and your mates who are boys,

649
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:10,879
Speaker 1: have to transfer, you have.

650
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 2: To ask him like fucking ten fucking times. Oh I

651
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 2: always give up. Yeah, I'm a fucker.

652
00:34:15,120 --> 00:34:17,759
Speaker 1: Whereas girls they do it before you even ask. Yeah,

653
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 1: simple analogy. It's so good day, don't do it right

654
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: then and there?

655
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, dandy and Cassie.

656
00:34:23,400 --> 00:34:25,919
Speaker 1: She's transferred me before we've even walked out, like where

657
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:26,680
Speaker 1: I've just paid for it.

658
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: I still find it so funny that she refuses to

659
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: let you pay for meal.

660
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 1: She does occasionally, Okay, I don't let me pay for

661
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: like expensive ones.

662
00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:38,160
Speaker 2: That is the funniest thing to me. Yeah, I'm like

663
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,359
Speaker 2: I would be. I would transfer it directly back to Beth,

664
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,840
Speaker 2: but then in your case, Cassie would transfer it directly

665
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 2: back to you. Also, I also don't care.

666
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,399
Speaker 1: Like we go shopping and like she buys her stuff

667
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 1: and I buy mind, I like, I'll pay for it,

668
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,040
Speaker 1: and then she goes and looks at the receipt like

669
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:51,960
Speaker 1: you don't have to do it, and she's.

670
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 2: Like, yes, I do. Just that is the funniest thing

671
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:56,880
Speaker 2: in the air. I don't know why. I appreciate it.

672
00:34:56,960 --> 00:35:00,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay to me, Yeah, what made you realize a

673
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 1: good man? It's just an average woman. When they wash

674
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:04,840
Speaker 1: their hands after going.

675
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 2: To the loop. Oh shit. I actually don't wash my

676
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 2: hands unless I poop. That's disgusting. I don't wash my

677
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:16,919
Speaker 2: hands after a week. Do you touch your mister d obviously? Yeah, dude.

678
00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,400
Speaker 2: If I'm in a public toilet and I'm going in

679
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 2: there and the only thing I'm touching is my wien.

680
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,680
Speaker 2: We're not going to go touch something else to wash

681
00:35:25,719 --> 00:35:27,040
Speaker 2: my hands. I'm clean.

682
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:29,879
Speaker 1: Where you're going more a public toilet or your own house?

683
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 1: I was thinking about your house.

684
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,320
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't do it in my house either, pretty chat,

685
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 2: I'm clean. I don't know, man, it's literally the equivalent,

686
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,240
Speaker 2: you're It's the equivalent of doing this. You flush a toilet, Yeah,

687
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 2: you dirty dog? When are you talking abouts on that

688
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,920
Speaker 2: fucking flush? What do you mean? I closed the lid.

689
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:51,240
Speaker 2: I'm the one that told you about closing the lid.

690
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:54,239
Speaker 1: The button that you press after everyone's taken a shit.

691
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 1: So much bacteria on there. Wash your hands, dude, disgusting

692
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,799
Speaker 1: my hands after I a piss, You're toxic. Not washing

693
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 1: my hands after a piss toxic. That's that's not toxic.

694
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,719
Speaker 1: That is toxic, and it's not toxic. I'm not washing

695
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 1: my hands after a piss. That to me, that's insane, Rubbi,

696
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: it's not. I'm not pissing on my hands. Just wash,

697
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 1: wash them because also it just washes from day to

698
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:19,160
Speaker 1: day life that you've just stop flushing when I pissed

699
00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 1: then and I'll save water, and I'll only flush when

700
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:21,399
Speaker 1: I ship.

701
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 2: I may as well save water if I'm getting while

702
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,839
Speaker 2: I'm out. I see that argument. There, you got it's

703
00:36:25,960 --> 00:36:29,360
Speaker 2: very toxic. How is it toxic? It's not toxic that

704
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 2: I don't wash my hands after I WII. I watched

705
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:33,320
Speaker 2: them after I pooh, You.

706
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 1: Being a man, has the conclusion to not flush the

707
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 1: toilet rather than just going to wash your hands.

708
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 2: Saving water, saving the planet. David Attenborough, he'd meddleed me

709
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 2: saving the bare minimum, saving them. This has not this

710
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 2: has nothing to do with bare minims, because there's nothing

711
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:54,120
Speaker 2: to do with Beth or whoever else is the relationship.

712
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:57,759
Speaker 1: I saw a video and it was like men when

713
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: they try and like touch their partners and like grab

714
00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 1: their facing, kiss or something, and then there's like men

715
00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,520
Speaker 1: for the rest of their day, Like you're like fucking

716
00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 1: touching like grass, like flush and toilets, like looking at

717
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 1: a dog pill and shit, like getting shit off the

718
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,840
Speaker 1: bottom of his shoe, and then you go and grab

719
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:17,880
Speaker 1: best's face to go kiss. That's you.

720
00:37:20,160 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 2: I can't believe it's some One time we did an

721
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 2: ig question no no, no no. I was looking at

722
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 2: our Dilemma's page where we choose dilemmas from. Because I've

723
00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 2: talked about not washing my hands after a week before

724
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:35,360
Speaker 2: and hill, I'm willing to die. And by the way, guys, clearly,

725
00:37:36,080 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: but someone said they had a dilemma and they go

726
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 2: I think the dilemma was something like one of my

727
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:45,040
Speaker 2: favorite podcasters just admitted he doesn't wash his hands after

728
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 2: he goes to the toilet. And I don't know if

729
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 2: I can listen anymore.

730
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: Another reason to do it one listener, Sorry bad no, sorry, Maddie.

731
00:37:57,200 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 1: I love every single one of our listeners.

732
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,399
Speaker 2: You didn't wash your hand? Okay, I have one more?

733
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:04,719
Speaker 2: What made you realize a good man is just an

734
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 2: average woman living with one true I will leave it

735
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 2: on that.

736
00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: Baddies, we had my dilemma before, but now it is

737
00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:25,880
Speaker 1: time for.

738
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 2: All your dilemmas.

739
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 1: If you want to submit a dilemma completely anonymously, it

740
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,120
Speaker 1: is linked in the description and also link in bio

741
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:32,760
Speaker 1: on Instagram.

742
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,600
Speaker 2: Score to the bottom. There it is, and also no,

743
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 2: not to be annoying, guys, but on Patreon we do

744
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,120
Speaker 2: dilemmas and it's got its own page. It has way lesseners,

745
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:41,560
Speaker 2: so if you have a dilemma that you does really

746
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:46,200
Speaker 2: need to answer that Jake washes his hands on the

747
00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:50,920
Speaker 2: Patreon episodes. Should we should bring some? Ill tell you

748
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,279
Speaker 2: what if I had hand sanitizer in my bathroom, I

749
00:38:53,280 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 2: would every time? What's the difference? I don't know, get

750
00:38:57,040 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 2: your hands where and like turn tap on, tap off,

751
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 2: pumping this so trying your hands afterwards? Stop talking? All right?

752
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: Dilemma times, Hi, boys, I would really value your opinion

753
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: on a current situation I'm in. Recently, my partner and

754
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,319
Speaker 1: I have broken up after being together for a year.

755
00:39:13,680 --> 00:39:16,640
Speaker 1: There was no dramatic reason or anything as such. I

756
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 1: just felt as though the relationship had simply run its

757
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:22,400
Speaker 1: course and no longer aligned. I was the one to

758
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 1: break up with them, and Brackett's reasoning being that they

759
00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,360
Speaker 1: couldn't give me what I wanted in the relationship, and

760
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:30,920
Speaker 1: they fought and fought so hard for the relationship, but

761
00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:34,160
Speaker 1: I wanted nothing to do with it. Now, having been

762
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 1: a part for four months, I see so clearly the

763
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 1: role I played in our relationship and that it was

764
00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:42,760
Speaker 1: never their doing. If anything, they gave me the best

765
00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 1: they had with what they had, and I.

766
00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 2: Was simply the bitch.

767
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: What I was so obsessed that it was them that

768
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: couldn't show up for me in a way that I needed,

769
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: when really I was just rigid in my own beliefs

770
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:58,200
Speaker 1: and lost them in the process. I've been feeling really

771
00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: awful about the situation and have contemplated reaching out to

772
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 1: them to tell them what I've learned and take some

773
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:06,879
Speaker 1: weight off their shoulders in brackets, because I would hate

774
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 1: if they were walking around for the rest of their

775
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 1: life thinking they were the reason the relationship ended and

776
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:16,200
Speaker 1: I played no contribution. I want to talk to them

777
00:40:16,239 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: and explain that seventy percent of where it went wrong

778
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 1: was my fault. But I'm also aware that they may

779
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 1: not want anything to do with me anymore, as I

780
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,560
Speaker 1: didn't handle things the best I could have. There was

781
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,760
Speaker 1: a lot of hurt and damage done on my behalf.

782
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 1: I'm aware they may be focusing on themselves and don't

783
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,520
Speaker 1: want to reopen closed doors. I don't know if I'm

784
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: seeking their forgiveness when I should be seeking my own,

785
00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: or if I'm now realizing what a great relationship it

786
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 1: was and I'm hoping there might still be a chance.

787
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 2: I really don't know what to do. I've tried to

788
00:40:46,120 --> 00:40:48,000
Speaker 2: keep this short and simple for you. I hope this

789
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 2: makes sense.

790
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:52,120
Speaker 1: I would really value a male's feedback if you find

791
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: the time. Thanks so much, baddies, I appreciate you.

792
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 2: Tough one. Wow, some self reflection. That's growth. That is growth.

793
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,840
Speaker 2: That's growth. Last half full, last half full, that's growth.

794
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 2: That is growth. I'm gonna go straight away off the

795
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:12,320
Speaker 2: bat and say, don't message you.

796
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think we can make you feel better

797
00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 1: about yourself.

798
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: I think it happens for both genders. Though he's not

799
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 2: going to be.

800
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 1: Blaming himself completely. A relationship is always two people. It

801
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 1: is always too I don't think he's walking around thinking like,

802
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 1: damn it, I fucking ruined that.

803
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,560
Speaker 2: And he was perfect. If he is thinking that it's

804
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:34,839
Speaker 2: up to himself to end up healing in a way

805
00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 2: where he realizes that it wasn't just his fault. Yes, exists,

806
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,040
Speaker 2: like you have and it's honorable, Like how much weight

807
00:41:42,120 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 2: you are taking on the situation. I guess OTHERWI she's like,

808
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:47,680
Speaker 2: I'm just a bitch.

809
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:51,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it kind of like takes this to happen

810
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 1: to realize or else you never learn.

811
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:59,320
Speaker 2: Like Jake said, growth, this is what life is about. Yeah,

812
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 2: like you make.

813
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:03,879
Speaker 1: Mistakes exactly and you have to live with them and

814
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 1: the best thing to do for him and although you

815
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 1: probably want a little bit of close up, but she

816
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:12,279
Speaker 1: also said I still stand on don't message him. But

817
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: what if she wants to make the relationship work.

818
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 2: I don't know. As the door closed, I think from

819
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:24,040
Speaker 2: an outsider looking in, I'm going to say, I think

820
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:32,439
Speaker 2: the door's closed. I think damage has been done. It's

821
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 2: only been four months.

822
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:38,240
Speaker 1: My opinion on breakups are they do happen for a reason,

823
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 1: and like Jake said, the damage is done and that

824
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:45,760
Speaker 1: damage is never fully able to heal.

825
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:51,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. And like, I'm sure, definitely you

826
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,439
Speaker 2: could work through it. There's definitely, I'm sure that ways

827
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:55,879
Speaker 2: to work through it. If you're meant to be you're

828
00:42:55,880 --> 00:43:00,279
Speaker 2: meant to be right. But I just think that four

829
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:06,480
Speaker 2: months of reflection and you've now realized what you've realized,

830
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:11,399
Speaker 2: I just think that there's more to realize. I don't

831
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,759
Speaker 2: think you're one hundred percent there yet. Obviously I could

832
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 2: be right, it could be wrong, but I think that

833
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 2: there is there's more time. And I think that when

834
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 2: you break up, you should break up. And I'm not

835
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,319
Speaker 2: a big like everything happens for a reason. Guy. But

836
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:32,000
Speaker 2: when it comes to this, my thinking is, if it's

837
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 2: meant to be, it's meant to be. So if you

838
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,480
Speaker 2: are meant to be with him, it will end up

839
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 2: happening at some point, and it will happen when you

840
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:43,439
Speaker 2: are both ready on its own course.

841
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:48,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I I'm going to lean towards putting this down

842
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:48,760
Speaker 1: to learning.

843
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:52,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I agree with Jake.

844
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 1: You still have a lot to learn potentially, but more so,

845
00:43:57,160 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 1: don't take what you've learned and then put it back

846
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,879
Speaker 1: back into the person which you learned from. M Take

847
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:08,040
Speaker 1: what you've learned into your next relationship, for that's really

848
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:09,040
Speaker 1: what growth is about.

849
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 2: Fair you know yourself more, Yeah, you know what you

850
00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:14,719
Speaker 2: need more. And here's the thing is that you might

851
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:15,839
Speaker 2: think that you will be in a bit, But at

852
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: the same time, you know, if he was giving everything

853
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 2: you had, then I don't know, like it sounds like

854
00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:23,319
Speaker 2: you were giving him an excuse for some behaviors that

855
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:27,240
Speaker 2: maybe you didn't like at the time. Now you're thinking

856
00:44:27,239 --> 00:44:30,279
Speaker 2: that you might have been being unreasonable. We don't know

857
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 2: the actual situations, but there's a pretty good chance that

858
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 2: maybe you weren't being unreasonable and now you just feel

859
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,800
Speaker 2: bad because you handled it like a bitch.

860
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:42,640
Speaker 1: Everything has an equal and opposite reaction. And although upon

861
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 1: reflection you feel like a bit, he might have forced

862
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:48,399
Speaker 1: you into that situation. You never know, like when all

863
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 1: your guards are up and there's like a bit of

864
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:54,880
Speaker 1: an argument going on, Like he's put you in that situation,

865
00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: or you put yourself together when you tour together.

866
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:57,720
Speaker 2: That's what happened.

867
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, although you want to take a most of

868
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 1: the brunt, you were both there.

869
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, look you've done. I think excepting that you were

870
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 2: a bitch is a good, good, good start.

871
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 1: And even even your mindset too. I would you said

872
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:10,040
Speaker 1: it was seventy percent your fault, it was.

873
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 2: Fifty to fifty. It's always fifty to fifty no matter what.

874
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:15,120
Speaker 1: It's two people, it can never be one person's more

875
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:15,959
Speaker 1: fault unless the cheat.

876
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 2: I don't know. Unless what you've what you want in

877
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 2: a relationship is just it is, unless it is super unrealistic.

878
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:23,920
Speaker 2: That would mean. But if if what you want is

879
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 2: actually pretty realistic and he couldn't give it to you,

880
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:29,840
Speaker 2: I don't think that means that he was giving one

881
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 2: hundred percent, like anyone can you know what I mean?

882
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 2: Like he was giving one hundred percent of what he

883
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:41,120
Speaker 2: could give. But if what you wanted wasn't unrealistic, then

884
00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 2: that would mean that he could have given it. Yeah,

885
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 2: if that makes any sense.

886
00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 1: The fact that you said could give makes me feel

887
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 1: like you should go somewhere else.

888
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, we're saying leave it and take it down

889
00:45:55,280 --> 00:46:00,839
Speaker 2: to experience. Yeah, all right, mine's devastating. Okay, So, about

890
00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 2: a year and a half ago, my boyfriend of ten

891
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 2: months passed away, oh, in a car accident. It was

892
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:11,799
Speaker 2: really hard, and I've been in therapy and focusing on

893
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,359
Speaker 2: healing ever since. I am a twenty six year old

894
00:46:14,400 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 2: female and I still want to get married and have kids.

895
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:20,200
Speaker 2: One day I started dating again, but I'm scared that

896
00:46:20,239 --> 00:46:23,439
Speaker 2: people will judge me for moving on. To me, it's

897
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 2: not moving on. The love I have for him will

898
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,439
Speaker 2: never go away. I see it as the same kind

899
00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:31,760
Speaker 2: of way you can love your mum with all your heart,

900
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 2: but that doesn't mean you don't love your dad just

901
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 2: as much. I know I still have more love to give.

902
00:46:39,120 --> 00:46:41,240
Speaker 2: I think I'm ready to try and find love again.

903
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:45,040
Speaker 2: I will admit it's been lonely. From a guy's perspective,

904
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 2: is this considered serious baggage, and is it okay to

905
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 2: continue to honor him and remember his life even if

906
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,440
Speaker 2: I end up dating someone else. How do I approach

907
00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:59,839
Speaker 2: talking about him to a new partner and being vulnerable

908
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:03,799
Speaker 2: about the grief? I feel alone in this. I feel

909
00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:06,839
Speaker 2: alone in this because most people my age don't deal

910
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:11,320
Speaker 2: with this kind of scenario. Well, firstly, Battie, so sorry,

911
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:13,799
Speaker 2: sorry you had to go through that. That's heavy. I

912
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 2: really like.

913
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:20,840
Speaker 1: How she's looking at it. The trouble with dating is

914
00:47:21,000 --> 00:47:24,560
Speaker 1: you have no idea how the men you're interacting with

915
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 1: will take that. But I think the only thing that's

916
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 1: important here is how you're dealing with the grief and

917
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 1: that you're comfortable with how you're healing and how you

918
00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 1: remember him, remembering him, because some men will take that

919
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 1: as you can't get over your ex, toxic, who gives

920
00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,359
Speaker 1: a fuck, fuck him off. But the right person will

921
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 1: appreciate the situation for what it is. And I think

922
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: that little there's always going to be a piece of

923
00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 1: him in your heart and you're going to remember that forever, forever,

924
00:47:56,480 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 1: and the right man can appreciate that because of the situation. Yeah, yeah,

925
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:02,920
Speaker 1: And there's definitely gonna be some bad guys out here

926
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:05,359
Speaker 1: who are toxic and don't appreciate.

927
00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:06,160
Speaker 2: That by any means, there will be.

928
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 1: But the only thing that's important is you're healing in

929
00:48:09,600 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 1: whichever way you see fit, and you can't control how

930
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,799
Speaker 1: they react, So just do whatever you feel is right.

931
00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 2: I would agree, and I think other people's judgment. So

932
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 2: I guess you're thinking maybe those close to you, his

933
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 2: parents and his siblings, his family. I think that if

934
00:48:35,320 --> 00:48:40,920
Speaker 2: you are ready, and who is anyone to judge, especially

935
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:42,479
Speaker 2: with the way you're looking at it, in the sense

936
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:47,280
Speaker 2: of you're not moving on. No, you know you still

937
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:54,480
Speaker 2: love him, you will always love him, and yeah, like

938
00:48:56,719 --> 00:49:00,840
Speaker 2: you it sounds rough to say, but you also have

939
00:49:00,880 --> 00:49:02,400
Speaker 2: a life that you need to live now. I was

940
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:04,000
Speaker 2: gonna say, like, you still have to be happy, you

941
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 2: still need to be still deserve love, you still deserve

942
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 2: to have that family. And then, okay, do men consider

943
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:14,480
Speaker 2: this serious baggage? I want to say, yes, but not

944
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:17,360
Speaker 2: in a bad way, you know what I mean, Like,

945
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 2: I see what you're saying, Like if this, you know,

946
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:22,000
Speaker 2: baggage is always thought of as like this bad thing,

947
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:23,920
Speaker 2: but if you just think of baggage as another thing,

948
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:26,120
Speaker 2: where it's not good or bad. It's like, yes, this

949
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,799
Speaker 2: is probably on the high end of serious baggage, but

950
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 2: it's just a it's a part of your story. It's

951
00:49:33,239 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 2: literally it's who you are, part of who you are,

952
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:40,359
Speaker 2: and it's gonna be I guess, I guess it will

953
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 2: be up to you. It's gonna be up to you

954
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:48,239
Speaker 2: to find the man that is I want to say

955
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 2: okay with it, or find the man that understands and

956
00:49:54,040 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 2: has empathy in the right ways.

957
00:49:56,440 --> 00:50:00,480
Speaker 1: I think it's also harder for you because, like you said,

958
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:03,799
Speaker 1: a lot of young people don't experience this.

959
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 2: You are unfortunately very alone in this, and a lot of.

960
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 1: People don't have the tools to deal with the situation.

961
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 1: A lot of men don't have those tools. A lot

962
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 1: of young men don't have those tools.

963
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:20,120
Speaker 2: And when does she bring it up? I think, like,

964
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 2: when you know you like someone? Yeah, I'm thinking like, so,

965
00:50:27,600 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 2: if you feel as though you can bring it up

966
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 2: on date one, go with your gut and bring it

967
00:50:32,320 --> 00:50:36,399
Speaker 2: up on date one. But if you think, I think,

968
00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 2: I just want to like, just as soon.

969
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 1: As you're ready, Oh yeah, as soon as you're already

970
00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:43,960
Speaker 1: is the piece of advice I would give because every

971
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 1: single situation when you're dating comes up in a different

972
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:47,760
Speaker 1: time period.

973
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

974
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,719
Speaker 1: And when you open up to someone in that way,

975
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,120
Speaker 1: it could be at first date, it could be three

976
00:50:53,120 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: months down the track. Whenever you're comfortable, is my piece

977
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 1: of advice.

978
00:50:56,120 --> 00:50:58,400
Speaker 2: I think it's totally up to you. Yeah, if you

979
00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 2: feel like the person you're talking you right now is

980
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 2: is someone you could tell right away, then tell them

981
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 2: right away. But if you feel like I'm just not

982
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 2: ready to talk about it, like I'm having a good time,

983
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:13,640
Speaker 2: this is this is, this feels right, I want to

984
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:16,879
Speaker 2: say you'll figure it out too, like damn, yeah, I'm

985
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 2: so sorry. This is Yeah, it's it's a very very

986
00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 2: hard situation. Yeah, I was. I don't even want to

987
00:51:23,120 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 2: perhaps I don't want to think about what it feels

988
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:28,839
Speaker 2: though I wouldn't be able to. Now, you wouldn't wish

989
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 2: that on anyone, fuck me.

990
00:51:30,239 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 1: But I was trying to say, like, you've got it, baddie,

991
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 1: You've got it. You're gonna deal with some terrible men,

992
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:37,719
Speaker 1: but you've got it either way.

993
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 2: Agreed. Guys, It is time for comments.

994
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: If you want to get your comment read, just comment

995
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:50,239
Speaker 1: on this episode and we might get to it the

996
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 1: following week. I'm going to go back to back because

997
00:51:52,040 --> 00:51:54,560
Speaker 1: they both relate to each other. Okay, so I've got Spotify.

998
00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 1: Brooks said, you guys be raising the bare minimum standard,

999
00:51:58,160 --> 00:51:59,879
Speaker 1: making it harder to find a good guy.

1000
00:52:00,920 --> 00:52:03,960
Speaker 2: And then I don't know about this. This person's name

1001
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:07,319
Speaker 2: is just D. Was this you? No, that was not me.

1002
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:10,759
Speaker 1: D said, listening to you guys talk about the bare

1003
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 1: minimum is super o opening. When I look back in

1004
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 1: my past recent long term relationships, the bar is indefinitely

1005
00:52:19,360 --> 00:52:20,040
Speaker 1: way higher.

1006
00:52:20,040 --> 00:52:24,839
Speaker 2: Now, love the pod. Thank you. That's so sweet. That's

1007
00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 2: very nice. I have one from Patreon. Okay, I have

1008
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:34,319
Speaker 2: two from Patreon. Patreon, Yes, and it's we spoke about

1009
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:37,640
Speaker 2: happiness on that, but the two comments talk really they

1010
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:42,600
Speaker 2: have good perspectives on happiness from Brookie I to some extent,

1011
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:45,800
Speaker 2: So I to some extent agree happiness is a choice.

1012
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:47,439
Speaker 2: But I see it from a different point of view.

1013
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 2: I think you choose your problems in life most of

1014
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 2: the time. I think if you're faced with a problem,

1015
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 2: you choose how to react to it. You can react

1016
00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:56,880
Speaker 2: by crying and saying the world is against me. You

1017
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 2: can bear it and say it is what it is

1018
00:52:59,360 --> 00:53:01,520
Speaker 2: and deal with it, or you can ignore it until

1019
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:03,200
Speaker 2: you need to deal with it. How do you react

1020
00:53:03,200 --> 00:53:07,520
Speaker 2: to problems determines your mindset, which determines your happiness. I

1021
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:08,919
Speaker 2: like that point of you kind of a good take.

1022
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,560
Speaker 2: And here's a new one, brand new from Hannah. I

1023
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:13,200
Speaker 2: haven't read this one yet, sir, because she said it's

1024
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 2: on the topic of happenings. On the topic of happiness

1025
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 2: is a choice. I think hormonal fluctuations need to be

1026
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 2: taken into account because when women have severe PMS or

1027
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:29,439
Speaker 2: PMDD and hormones cause anxiety and depression or other mood

1028
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:33,280
Speaker 2: swings every month, sometimes twenty out of the thirty days,

1029
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,400
Speaker 2: it's kind of hard to be happy with life. So

1030
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 2: that's another thing that is to be take into account

1031
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 2: or completely agree PMS and PMDD can last twenty out

1032
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 2: of the thirty fucking days.

1033
00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 1: I would even say, like just a broad statement of

1034
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 1: hormonal changes in general.

1035
00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:51,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, fact, yeah, that completely affects your happiness. Okay, But

1036
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 2: as time for the baddie sign off.

1037
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:54,840
Speaker 1: If you want to sign off one of our episodes

1038
00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 1: and get called by Jake and I the linkers in

1039
00:53:57,120 --> 00:54:01,279
Speaker 1: the description today we are calling Jelene.

1040
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:04,920
Speaker 2: So the digital flat form.

1041
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, is that Angeline? Yep, it's Audie and Jake

1042
00:54:10,239 --> 00:54:11,400
Speaker 1: from the Relatables podcast.

1043
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 2: How's it going?

1044
00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 1: Hi, guys, let's scream how are you guys?

1045
00:54:14,719 --> 00:54:15,160
Speaker 2: Good? Thanks?

1046
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,040
Speaker 1: Are you in a classroom or something? We heard the

1047
00:54:17,160 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 1: start of someone talking, Yeah, I'm in Uni.

1048
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:25,040
Speaker 2: It's all right, guys, Sorry, sorry about that. Thanks all right,

1049
00:54:25,560 --> 00:54:28,640
Speaker 2: take the time you guys are more inportan. Thank you,

1050
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:29,080
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1051
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 1: We're talling to see if you wanted to sign off

1052
00:54:31,760 --> 00:54:35,840
Speaker 1: our episode, if you had some advice or perspective, a song, lyric, anything,

1053
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 1: if you want.

1054
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 2: To sign it off. Yep.

1055
00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 1: Can I just say I love you guys, and I

1056
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 1: love your podcast.

1057
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 2: I watch it so funny. Thank you.

1058
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:48,440
Speaker 1: So I want to say, follow your guts yea.

1059
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 2: We love that. Yeah, we love that. Thank you so much.

1060
00:54:51,520 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 2: That is a good. Thank you that great. Have a

1061
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:59,239
Speaker 2: good guy you do. Bye bye? Like started off by

1062
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:02,040
Speaker 2: something on and I was like that he's even picking

1063
00:55:02,120 --> 00:55:04,080
Speaker 2: up at you, and she's like the worry. You guys

1064
00:55:04,080 --> 00:55:06,800
Speaker 2: are more important. We love your baddy. Stay bad