Speaker 1: This podcast is being recorded and produced on gadiical Land.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this
Speaker 2: country and elders past present.
Speaker 1: We extend our respect to any First Nations Aboriginal and
Speaker 1: Torres Strait Islander people joining.
Speaker 2: Us today always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. Welcome
Speaker 2: to close friends, everyone. Mitchell's still here with us?
Speaker 1: Hello, Hi Gorge. What's happening.
Speaker 2: Not much covering for Brittany today.
Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm smart or adult enough to
Speaker 1: cover for Brittany because I did that thing that most
Speaker 1: people do when they're coming onto someone else's podcast, You
Speaker 1: listen to the last few episodes to familiarize yourself, and
Speaker 1: I was like, we're talking about wills and I'm like
Speaker 1: business insurance. I was like, I'm not fucking.
Speaker 2: Adult enough for any of this. Oh yeah, but I
Speaker 2: think it's fine because it's a balance, Like she's doing
Speaker 2: all that, duh, I'm doing nothing. I don't have a will.
Speaker 2: There's nothing to put in the will anyway. But you know,
Speaker 2: but it's funny you say that, because that is High Scrollers.
Speaker 2: Like when we first started High Scrollers, it was meant
Speaker 2: to be just like, what's trending on the internet. Well,
Speaker 2: that just went out the window not very far after
Speaker 2: we started the whole thing, and now we just talk
Speaker 2: about everything, so nothing is off limits. We literally could
Speaker 2: talk about doing the wheels, running the businesses, and then
Speaker 2: just the most fucked up stupid shit.
Speaker 1: Perfect, that's where I come into the equation fucked up stupid.
Speaker 2: Shit and then close friends is even like diving deeper
Speaker 2: into that, Like we really can talk about anything. So
Speaker 2: if there's anything you want to talk about, in fact,
Speaker 2: you know what, I'll take one for the team and
Speaker 2: I'll kick it off. Really, we'll go somewhere that we've
Speaker 2: never been before on this podcast.
Speaker 1: All right, let's go hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2: Okay, I currently have my first one.
Speaker 1: Ah, welcome, welcome, So you've had them before, Yeah, not
Speaker 1: like I'm not currently okay, burdened by one, but I
Speaker 1: have had it before. It's very humbling.
Speaker 2: We'll see. I'm not opposed. We're not not opposed. I'm
Speaker 2: quite familiar with an anal fisher. So, okay, an anal
Speaker 2: fisher is like a little tear in your bumhole and
Speaker 2: obviously every time you go to the toilet and relieve yourself,
Speaker 2: it stings. It's not a pleasant experience. So anal Fishers
Speaker 2: I've had a few times in the past. I have
Speaker 2: spoken I think as well about when I had my
Speaker 2: gallbladder out and then had to be on painkillers. You know,
Speaker 2: some things down there were so solid it actually just
Speaker 2: tore me apart. So anal Fishers I'm very, very familiar with.
Speaker 2: But this is actually my first ever hemorrhoid. And so
Speaker 2: how did you discover us? Right? So, okay, so I've
Speaker 2: been a bit itchy and I was I've just been
Speaker 2: a bit squirmy, like I've got worms. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: what's going on here? And then you know, I went
Speaker 2: to the bathroom yesterday and I went, that didn't feel right,
Speaker 2: you know, because I know what it's meant to feel like.
Speaker 2: And I went, that didn't feel right. And then anyway,
Speaker 2: this morning, when I was getting ready to come to
Speaker 2: the podcast, I went, I had a shower and I was,
Speaker 2: you know, washing my ass as you do, and I thought,
Speaker 2: let me just maybe i've got an anal fisher. I'll
Speaker 2: just have a little feel down there, and I discovered
Speaker 2: my first ever hemorrhoid. It felt like a little baked
Speaker 2: bean was stuck like a beat or something like a
Speaker 2: little bead and I pushed it and I thought, oh,
Speaker 2: that's a bit weird.
Speaker 1: Isn't it Careful? Don't push it because they can pop.
Speaker 2: Oh well, can you go? Is that painful? It's just your.
Speaker 1: More blood than you'd think there should be. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: not good. I know. I discovered mine when I was,
Speaker 1: you know, just after a number two doing a wipe,
Speaker 1: and I was like, what for the love of God,
Speaker 1: is that okay? So we've got the creams and shit? Well,
Speaker 1: I had a cream for the anal fish.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately, I did get it out of my bathroom cabinet
Speaker 2: today to put it on, but it expired in earlier
Speaker 2: in the year, so I don't want.
Speaker 1: To told me earlier Pop got my left over of
Speaker 1: a cream they thought about toot sweet.
Speaker 2: I'll go and have a look. Hemorrhoids also known as piles,
Speaker 2: a swollen veins in the anus or rectum that can
Speaker 2: cause a variety of synders. Can you please Google go
Speaker 2: Google Girl for me? Oh, here we go. Causes straining
Speaker 2: during boo movements. Now that hasn't happened, chronic constipation or diary. Well,
Speaker 2: I'm not usually now that I don't have a gall bladder.
Speaker 2: I'm hardly ever constipated. It was just the time from
Speaker 2: the painkillers. But now I'm I'm more on the.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't. I remember had of the spectrum pregnancy
Speaker 1: at the causes, and I was like, I've not done
Speaker 1: any of these, so I don't know. This shit doesn't discribe.
Speaker 2: It heavy lifting now, I've been doing a lot of
Speaker 2: heavy lifting lately. Actually, fucking heavy lifting? Are you doing?
Speaker 1: You get someone else to do it for Yeah?
Speaker 2: True, and not right? Swelling and redness, Oh no, that's
Speaker 2: the symptoms hang on being obese. Well, I'm on the
Speaker 2: spectrum somewhere, and a low fiber diet could be a
Speaker 2: low fiber diet. I don't know how much fiber I've
Speaker 2: been having to be honest, you know.
Speaker 1: If it was too low, like the stores wouldn't be ideal.
Speaker 2: Okay, there you go, prevention a high fiber diet. So
Speaker 2: maybe I've got to get some more fiber in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this shouldn't be new shit. You made a musial lifesaver.
Speaker 2: It says external hemorrhoids often resolve on their own with
Speaker 2: a few days to several weeks. I don't know if
Speaker 2: I could deal with it for several weeks. It's also
Speaker 2: not external. When they say external, how external are they
Speaker 2: talking because it's kind of just inside.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like it could easily become mixed.
Speaker 2: He's a diagram.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I've become become external because it's not very
Speaker 1: too deep, is what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Okay, so mine's an internal it's just in. Yeah, because
Speaker 2: that diagram there on Google, I'm going to put mine
Speaker 2: down as an internal hemorrhoid. Really yeah, well, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to just yeah, I'm literally squirming in my seat.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get too graphic. But how internal?
Speaker 1: Because again I discovered mine when I was wiping my
Speaker 1: ass after a number two.
Speaker 2: It's not far in. It's not that far in that
Speaker 2: What the fuck is that to tie it up with
Speaker 2: a rubber band? Surely I'm not going to get to
Speaker 2: that stage. Oh no. The photos on Google are absolutely
Speaker 2: harrowing everyone. Yeah, oh yeah, do that one? That one's covered?
Speaker 2: It says, can I look at it? Says this image.
Speaker 1: Make it was covered for a reason.
Speaker 2: It cover that back up anyway. I'm just I wanted
Speaker 2: to say quickly to anyone listening who maybe deals with hemorrhoids.
Speaker 2: I feel your pain. I'm now part of the hemorrhoid family.
Speaker 2: I hope this is my one and only hemorrhoidarm.
Speaker 1: Was the one and done?
Speaker 2: Oh, one and done? Okay, gorgeous, But yeah, you got
Speaker 2: to get.
Speaker 1: The good cream. I think I had to get a
Speaker 1: prescription for it. Okay, yeah, it would sort it out
Speaker 1: real quick.
Speaker 2: Did you have to show the doctor?
Speaker 1: No, you kind of mistake your word for it.
Speaker 2: But then why do you need a prescription? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe some doctors would be like if you if they
Speaker 1: don't know you from a block of star if they
Speaker 1: might be like Ben, dave up, prove it. My doctor
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I'm a regular. She's like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: writ no worries.
Speaker 2: I'd hate to be a doctor. Did you know we've
Speaker 2: spoken about this on the podcast already, I think, but
Speaker 2: prostate exams no longer need a finger up them.
Speaker 1: Really what they do?
Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe just a blood test or something.
Speaker 2: I think Brittany asked exactly the same question. I still
Speaker 2: didn't know the answer. No, Google girl, this is a
Speaker 2: very health specific Close Friends episode. Have you got any
Speaker 2: health issues going on at the moment you want to
Speaker 2: talk about it. You got any anal fishes.
Speaker 1: Or any are covering from my burnt legs? How do
Speaker 1: I streat that it's true?
Speaker 2: So do you need finger in? This is what Hannah's googling.
Speaker 2: Do you need finger in bum for prostate inspection? So
Speaker 2: it says you don't need a finger up the bum
Speaker 2: to diagnose prostate cancer. Okay, scroll down, it's a simple
Speaker 2: blood test. You're right. Well, who thought it was a
Speaker 2: good idea to stick a finger up a bum? Who
Speaker 2: was the.
Speaker 1: Doctor that put the word out being like, we actually
Speaker 1: don't need to do this anymore, you know, completely unnecessary,
Speaker 1: stop fingering your patient.
Speaker 2: Yeah? Who was the doctor who said, you know what,
Speaker 2: guys we need to be fingering their patients. I reckon
Speaker 2: he needs to be investigated because it's all gone wrong here.
Speaker 1: And after all, someone goes, actually, why are we doing this?
Speaker 2: I don't need to do this at all? Oh my god,
Speaker 2: Well that's topic one of close friends. We could go see,
Speaker 2: this is the thing. We talk about so many things here,
Speaker 2: we've gone that end of the spectrum, other end of
Speaker 2: the spectrum. It's your choice.
Speaker 1: I don't even I'm trying to visualize what the other
Speaker 1: end of the spectrum is, because if the ars is
Speaker 1: one end, what's the other end, other end of the rectum?
Speaker 1: What are we dealing with?
Speaker 2: I don't know you ever had a parasite or a tapeworm? No,
Speaker 2: you ever had any healthy shoes like that are a
Speaker 2: bit weird. I know you're exploring botox under the arms.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I've I was whinging about constantly sweating, and
Speaker 1: then because my ADHD meds, the dexis they raisy body temperature.
Speaker 1: Even in the dead of fucking winter, I'm sweating and
Speaker 1: it's embarrassing having the patches. And so someone message on
Speaker 1: Instagram after hearing me talk about this, and they were like,
Speaker 1: you know that if you get a prescription from a doctor,
Speaker 1: which again no questions asked, she just goes, yeah, he's
Speaker 1: like a referral letter, sorry, not a prescription to like
Speaker 1: some sweat clinic, and it's all Medicare rebout botops under
Speaker 1: the arms to stop the sweating. And I think it's
Speaker 1: only thirty bucks out of pocket. Medicare does the rest.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, good fucked imagine if all boytop
Speaker 1: is that cheap. But like, just because it's a sweat issue.
Speaker 1: I'm actually entitled to it. I haven't gotten around to
Speaker 1: it yet. There's quite a cue, but I've got the letter.
Speaker 1: Might tell my doctor that I've sweat profusely from my forehead.
Speaker 1: I just need to get that fire. My crow's feet
Speaker 1: are drenched all the time. I need to do something
Speaker 1: about it. Toc But you know, I'm quite excited about that.
Speaker 1: A sweat free summer. Yeah, how marvelous.
Speaker 2: Nice because I hate I hate sweating, and I am
Speaker 2: someone who I would always I can always run like
Speaker 2: I would always rather be cold.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love the sun. I love summer, but I hate sweating,
Speaker 2: and I hate being so hot that it's uncomfortable. I
Speaker 2: would rather, you know, step into a shopping center that's
Speaker 2: like ice cold than one of the air cone's broken
Speaker 2: and it's sweltering in there.
Speaker 1: Oh, I hate that.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I went to a smash room on the weekend. How
Speaker 1: was that because I fling hot?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: I would have enjoyed it a lot more because they
Speaker 1: give you these like huge overalls to wear for one,
Speaker 1: which I thought that's excessive, But then I realized that
Speaker 1: like I would have just been cut to buggery. There's
Speaker 1: ship flying everywhere in the stufs room, but yeah, there
Speaker 1: was no aircon and it really ruined it for me
Speaker 1: because I was so sweaty and discussing. It also made
Speaker 1: my hair go all gross from all the bloody dust
Speaker 1: and debris from the broken plates and stuff. So it
Speaker 1: was good, but yeah, the release that I needed for
Speaker 1: my soul, the anger I was letting out, it just
Speaker 1: made me more angry because I'm like, well, now I'm
Speaker 1: sweaty again.
Speaker 2: And what was the feeling of doing the smash room?
Speaker 2: Because for me when I went and did the smash
Speaker 2: room with my friend, you know, obviously it's like designed
Speaker 2: or advertised as come and get all your rage out
Speaker 2: and you know, smash the things at the wall and
Speaker 2: like get angry and get all get all the anger
Speaker 2: out of you. For me, we threw our first plate
Speaker 2: and we fucking pissed ourselves. Like for us, we just
Speaker 2: laughed for the whole half.
Speaker 1: It was more that it was more for the fun
Speaker 1: of it because it's always been my dream. Yeah, this
Speaker 1: is like a little bit fuck to say, but I've
Speaker 1: always said that if I was ever heaven forbid on
Speaker 1: my deathbed and I've got one of those make a
Speaker 1: wish things My make a wish would be for a
Speaker 1: teato sort to allow me to come in there with
Speaker 1: the hammer and just fuck up all the teapots, you
Speaker 1: know how they've got them immaculately, immaculately placed in like
Speaker 1: a pyramid. At the tea t thoughts or these gorgeous teapots.
Speaker 1: I often often have the intrusive.
Speaker 2: Thought, what if I just play came in with a baseball.
Speaker 1: Bat, And so I've always had that dream, And then
Speaker 1: I found out smash rooms or are things. So it's
Speaker 1: just the novelty of being able to break shit. You
Speaker 1: don't even have that much anger. It's just fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, that's the thing. We were just laughing.
Speaker 1: We're hissing ourselves at just being able to do something
Speaker 1: we've never done, like smashed a plate on purpose, Like
Speaker 1: it was just so because society tells you you're not
Speaker 1: supposed to exactly in fact, what society thinks if you
Speaker 1: want to smash a plate to.
Speaker 2: It, you know.
Speaker 1: And I was so tempted to because I had like
Speaker 1: optional up like add ons that you paytra for. If
Speaker 1: you pay forty bucks, I'll give you a microwave. You
Speaker 1: can fuck that up. They had all these add ons.
Speaker 1: But I was like, I reckon, they'd be harder to
Speaker 1: smash than you actually think, because one time I was
Speaker 1: trying to smash an internet modem because I hated this
Speaker 1: Internet provider. I don't want to say in case they're
Speaker 1: a major bloody sponsor, but I wanted to smash this
Speaker 1: modem and like film me doing it to let out
Speaker 1: my rage because they were the worst Internet ever and
Speaker 1: I could not fucking break the bastard.
Speaker 2: Didn't you set it on fire?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it wouldn't break. I ended up with setting
Speaker 1: it on fire, do you I don't canh that's right?
Speaker 2: And then didn't you weren't you meant? Weren't you asked
Speaker 2: to delete it?
Speaker 1: Or yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was by a different brand that you were
Speaker 2: working with because it was a bit violent or something or.
Speaker 1: No, it was during the time back in the day
Speaker 1: when we were trying to get our podcasts off the ground,
Speaker 1: and our management said, it's not a good look for
Speaker 1: you to be burning shit on the internet when you're
Speaker 1: trying to get a contract here. Oh, it was more
Speaker 1: just not a good look Mitchell.
Speaker 2: Yeah, true, because all eyes would have been on your profile.
Speaker 1: Yeah, at the time, what sort of person are you
Speaker 1: about to hire? And then they came and that's the
Speaker 1: sort of behavior I'm doing, just setting shit on fire.
Speaker 2: Nah, isn't it funny how like life changes, Like the
Speaker 2: amount of blood, sweat and tears we had to put
Speaker 2: into getting trash Ali off the ground.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even allowed to burn. Sheit on the internet,
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: And then we literally both have because you have your podcast?
Speaker 2: Is it just me? Which sadly is ending, But if they've.
Speaker 1: Listened, if not too late, we've got a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks left, but then you've got five years worth of binging. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if you want to catch us, and I'm on a
Speaker 1: few of the episodes as well, many episodes, it's possible.
Speaker 1: But you're one of our most frequent.
Speaker 2: Guests, yeah, which is an honor. But I will say,
Speaker 2: if you are going to go back and listen to
Speaker 2: those episodes, just remember I changed my mind about every
Speaker 2: three months. So anything I said in.
Speaker 1: Those pod that makes me so anxious.
Speaker 2: Or I could never go back and listen to even
Speaker 2: high scrollers. We've only been going for just over a year.
Speaker 2: I couldn't go back to listen to some of our
Speaker 2: episodes from six months ago because I go whatever I said,
Speaker 2: then I either don't stand by I think have changed
Speaker 2: blah blah blah. Do you know what I mean? And also, hello,
Speaker 2: we're comedians. Sometimes we just have to get to the
Speaker 2: butt of a joke.
Speaker 1: We have Also sometimes I really mean what I'm saying
Speaker 1: at the time. But then I'm like, oh, because when
Speaker 1: people tell me they're going to listen to old episodes,
Speaker 1: I'm starting from the start and binging. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: fuck me, what have I said that I will later contradict,
Speaker 1: Like there was a point in time that I ranted
Speaker 1: on the podcast about how much I hate cats. Now
Speaker 1: I'm a proud cat mum. I love my little girl.
Speaker 1: I've gone off dogs. If anything, I want to listen
Speaker 1: full ramp about how dogs are better. Bullshit, They're not,
Speaker 1: and they're fast forward a few years and I'll change.
Speaker 2: My mind again. Yeah, legit, You'll get rid of Isabella
Speaker 2: and you'll have four dogs round and round. We need
Speaker 2: to Can we do a poll on our Can you
Speaker 2: just poles on Spotify for episodes?
Speaker 1: I don't think you can anymore. I tried to do
Speaker 1: that for they just have a comment section. Actually, no,
Speaker 1: you can do poles.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know. I was going to do a
Speaker 2: pole like cats or dogs or something, but fuck it,
Speaker 2: we'll do it in the broadcast. Change. Yeah, you're right,
Speaker 2: you're right. Now, you're right, you're right, you're right. No,
Speaker 2: that's all good, all right, Well, anything else you want
Speaker 2: to say, any parting words for our scrollers here Mitchell,
Speaker 2: that you want to say before we wrap this one up.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm on the spot. Thanks for having me.
Speaker 2: That's all right. You'll definitely be back in the future.
Speaker 2: And of course, don't forget last time. We're going to
Speaker 2: tell you buy tickets to our show. The link will
Speaker 2: be in the show notes. It's called Can't be Bothered.
Speaker 2: It's coming to Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne. But you're probably
Speaker 2: already aware you're just lazy and haven't brought you tickets yet. Yeah.
Speaker 1: This can be your Christmas present to yourself, or send
Speaker 1: the link to other people in your life and be like,
Speaker 1: this is what I bloody want. Yeah, I don't want
Speaker 1: some shit fucking candle or whatever. Make it this please
Speaker 1: or what I really want.
Speaker 2: Buy you and your entire friend group tickets for Christmas.
Speaker 2: Good call, yeah, good always thinking, always thinking. Anyway, thank
Speaker 2: you for joining us Mitchell. If people want to follow
Speaker 2: you online, where can they find you?
Speaker 1: Just at Mitchell Combs. No e in Kombs by the way,
Speaker 1: that's the psychic Yeah, common mistake. There's two of us.
Speaker 2: That's the psychic body. Ill forgot about him.
Speaker 1: When people google Mitchell Kumb's tickets, they're like, why am
Speaker 1: I getting a reading at Illa? What are real? They
Speaker 1: go to the wrong fucking show.
Speaker 2: No, that's not real. Well, thank you for joining us
Speaker 2: for close friends, Thanks for listening, scrollers, and don't forget.
Speaker 2: We'll see you next Tuesday.