WEBVTT - 80. 5 THINGS that turn us on 🔥 🌶 Lets get sexy! 0:00:05.881 --> 0:00:13.241 Apode Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 0:00:13.281 --> 0:00:15.201 and I'm Tiana. This podcast is. 0:00:15.201 --> 0:00:18.761 About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, 0:00:18.801 --> 0:00:20.801 and most authentic version of yourself. 0:00:20.961 --> 0:00:23.281 We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 0:00:23.321 --> 0:00:26.241 We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 0:00:26.281 --> 0:00:27.801 else is too afraid to talk about. 0:00:28.401 --> 0:00:31.841 Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back 0:00:31.841 --> 0:00:33.160 to another episode of She Rises. 0:00:33.241 --> 0:00:35.481 I'm Tiana and I'm actually thank you for joining us. 0:00:35.521 --> 0:00:38.601 We've got a spicy, fun, sexy episode for you today. 0:00:39.161 --> 0:00:42.321 We're looking at our downloads and seeing which episodes were 0:00:42.721 --> 0:00:46.041 most well received, most downloaded, most loved, and it was 0:00:46.081 --> 0:00:48.280 all the ones about sex. So let's talk about it. 0:00:48.361 --> 0:00:50.761 We love talking about it, and apparently you guys love listening. 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:53.361 We do here with the juicy stuff today. 0:00:53.441 --> 0:00:55.600 I think it's just because sex is still taboo and 0:00:55.641 --> 0:00:57.641 still something people don't want to talk about, or they 0:00:57.681 --> 0:01:00.121 feel awkward talking about, or maybe they feel shameful, or 0:01:00.161 --> 0:01:02.761 they don't have people around them that talk about it. 0:01:02.801 --> 0:01:05.720 I think it's quite normal for us, but it's definitely 0:01:05.801 --> 0:01:08.041 not for everyone. Yeah, but the numbers don't lie the 0:01:08.121 --> 0:01:08.881 numbers don't lie. 0:01:08.881 --> 0:01:11.041 And I think we have this conversation as well, Like 0:01:11.081 --> 0:01:14.000 what you mentioned is normalized for us, but for you listening, 0:01:14.121 --> 0:01:17.361 it might not be normalized in your friend group. Yes 0:01:17.401 --> 0:01:19.720 maybe up home, Yeah maybe at home, it wasn't a 0:01:19.721 --> 0:01:21.641 normalized thing to talk about. There's still a lot of 0:01:21.881 --> 0:01:24.401 you know, sexual shame around the topic of sex and 0:01:24.441 --> 0:01:26.601 intimacy and all of those things. So we want to 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:29.440 make it light, playful and fun and hopefully help you 0:01:29.481 --> 0:01:31.241 remove some of the shame around these kind of topics. 0:01:31.241 --> 0:01:33.520 And we also get it because we've carried sexual shame. 0:01:33.601 --> 0:01:35.761 I not growing up like I couldn't talk about it. 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:39.321 I got uncomfortable talking about it. I projected my own 0:01:39.401 --> 0:01:42.081 judgments onto other women when they were really sexually expressed. 0:01:42.161 --> 0:01:44.961 And it's being really cool to go through that transition 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:46.521 of coming out the other side, and it feels so 0:01:46.601 --> 0:01:48.841 normal and feel so beautiful because it gets to be 0:01:49.441 --> 0:01:52.401 you know. So today we're talking about the five things 0:01:52.441 --> 0:01:55.401 that really turn us on the most. And the reason 0:01:55.401 --> 0:01:57.161 we're talking about this is not just to tell you 0:01:57.201 --> 0:02:00.321 all about our sex life. It's too empower and remind you 0:02:00.361 --> 0:02:03.161 of these little things that can make the biggest difference 0:02:03.161 --> 0:02:05.921 in helping you tap into more pleasure. And it's not 0:02:06.081 --> 0:02:08.321 just inside the bedroom with a partner. It's things that 0:02:08.401 --> 0:02:11.481 just make you feel really turned on. So we want 0:02:11.521 --> 0:02:13.401 to access more of that pleasure wherever we can, but 0:02:13.481 --> 0:02:17.081 especially with your intimate partners or your sexual self pleasurable 0:02:17.281 --> 0:02:18.721 moments that you have with yourself, and. 0:02:18.641 --> 0:02:21.921 Making this more about pleasure and intimacy as opposed to 0:02:22.041 --> 0:02:24.841 just performing or getting it done or just you know, 0:02:25.081 --> 0:02:27.041 being like this one and done thing. It's got to 0:02:27.041 --> 0:02:28.441 it's something that you've got to tick off. Like, we 0:02:28.481 --> 0:02:30.521 don't want sex to be a topic where you have 0:02:30.561 --> 0:02:32.401 to just tick it off because it's something that you know, 0:02:32.561 --> 0:02:35.081 rotations to be doing like that, it's meant to be 0:02:35.121 --> 0:02:37.801 slow and sensual. You want to enjoy the process. We 0:02:37.800 --> 0:02:38.881 want to bring that in today. 0:02:38.721 --> 0:02:40.601 And whether you have sexual shame, or you're a mom 0:02:40.601 --> 0:02:42.641 and you've just had a baby, or you've lost yourself 0:02:42.761 --> 0:02:45.240 or you've lost your body confidence, or you look back 0:02:45.281 --> 0:02:46.881 at your younger self you're like, oh my gosh, I 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:49.400 was so frisky and adventurous, Like where has she gone? Like, 0:02:49.481 --> 0:02:52.081 let's bring that back in because she's in there. There's 0:02:52.201 --> 0:02:57.281 just conditioning or situations or trauma or outside noise that 0:02:57.321 --> 0:03:00.041 has told you that that's a good, wrong, bad, right, whatever. 0:03:00.201 --> 0:03:01.521 So we're going to bring it back in today and 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:04.121 share some of ours and hopefully inspire you to tap 0:03:04.161 --> 0:03:06.881 back into that play for sexy energy. We love it 0:03:07.081 --> 0:03:09.601 all right. These are in no particular order, but one 0:03:09.641 --> 0:03:13.520 of my five is music, and I have a Spotify playlist. 0:03:13.561 --> 0:03:15.281 If you guys want it, let me know, comment in 0:03:15.281 --> 0:03:16.881 the foreg and I'll link it to you. Love it. 0:03:16.881 --> 0:03:19.881 It's just titled spicy. It just gets me in the mood. 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:22.121 It helps my body relax, It kind of gets me 0:03:22.161 --> 0:03:24.361 out of my head, back of my body, and it 0:03:24.441 --> 0:03:27.441 just turns me on. Whether it's the tune of the music, 0:03:27.481 --> 0:03:29.961 whether it's the words of the music, whether it's the 0:03:30.001 --> 0:03:32.881 deep voices, whether it's the sexy voices of females, like 0:03:32.881 --> 0:03:35.681 whatever it is. I just find different songs like just 0:03:35.801 --> 0:03:37.641 do it for me in different ways. Yes, I so 0:03:37.761 --> 0:03:40.201 get that lit It's environment, doesn't it. Yeah, I've got 0:03:40.201 --> 0:03:40.880 a playlist too. 0:03:41.041 --> 0:03:43.121 Love it called seduice, Oh. 0:03:43.001 --> 0:03:46.281 Nice, Nice's called spicy. It so good. It does. 0:03:46.321 --> 0:03:48.121 It makes all the difference because it does I feel 0:03:48.161 --> 0:03:50.721 like for women, it's very much a mental game. Yeah, 0:03:50.761 --> 0:03:53.001 it's very much. If you're in your head, you're not 0:03:53.041 --> 0:03:55.001 really in your body or in your pleasure. 0:03:54.681 --> 0:03:55.881 It will affect your experience. 0:03:55.961 --> 0:03:58.561 Yeah, and it does. It impacts you what's happening before 0:03:58.681 --> 0:04:00.641 leading up to the bedroom, and yeah, what you're doing, 0:04:00.681 --> 0:04:02.601 how your day's been. So music, I feel kind of 0:04:02.681 --> 0:04:04.201 just like softens your body in. 0:04:04.161 --> 0:04:06.521 Doesn't it. And when you go to a dance class 0:04:06.521 --> 0:04:09.401 and you're learning like a sexy routine, the song is 0:04:09.521 --> 0:04:12.121 everything it is. Yeah, yeah, that's yours. 0:04:12.441 --> 0:04:15.361 So I think for me, the mental build up is 0:04:15.441 --> 0:04:18.161 a really big thing for me. Hot Yeah, so for me, 0:04:18.361 --> 0:04:21.241 like I think the intimacy really does start at the 0:04:21.241 --> 0:04:23.601 beginning of the day and not actually the moment that 0:04:23.641 --> 0:04:25.921 you start being intimate or in the bedroom, whether it 0:04:25.961 --> 0:04:28.880 be with a partner or with yourself. It's more of 0:04:28.961 --> 0:04:32.361 like essential experience, whether that be through your different senses, 0:04:32.921 --> 0:04:35.921 so you know, hearing your partner say something to you, 0:04:36.001 --> 0:04:37.841 reading a text message from them. 0:04:38.001 --> 0:04:38.361 Yeah. 0:04:38.601 --> 0:04:42.961 Physical types that be just moisturizing your body really slowly 0:04:43.001 --> 0:04:45.440 and just like saying thanks and appreciating yourself or having 0:04:45.481 --> 0:04:48.320 your partner do the little neck touches. Yeah, little you know, 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:51.561 side swipes or little bum grabs like yeah. Through that 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:55.041 mental build up of those consistent things throughout the day, 0:04:55.081 --> 0:04:57.960 it almost allows, at least for me personally allows me 0:04:58.041 --> 0:05:00.761 to get mentally ready to be intimate and kind of 0:05:00.841 --> 0:05:02.281 like energetically open my body. 0:05:02.521 --> 0:05:06.641 Love that for me is just oh oh so true. 0:05:07.201 --> 0:05:08.801 One thing that I really love. And I know not 0:05:08.841 --> 0:05:12.161 everyone loves this, but I love lingerie and dressing up 0:05:12.561 --> 0:05:15.440 and it's something I kind of forgot about for years, 0:05:15.681 --> 0:05:18.361 even after Tyler, I didn't wear anything for ages. And 0:05:18.401 --> 0:05:22.361 then my girlfriend Megsi is always in like silky robes 0:05:22.521 --> 0:05:27.321 or a silky nighty or nude, beautiful lacy underwear. She's 0:05:27.361 --> 0:05:29.801 always very feminine like that, and it's something she teaches 0:05:29.841 --> 0:05:32.081 in a lot of her courses around this as well. 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:34.881 But she's always been my biggest inspiration for that, and 0:05:34.921 --> 0:05:37.561 I make a conscious effort now. I love buying lingerie, 0:05:37.681 --> 0:05:39.801 or even if it's just like layering it, like wearing 0:05:39.841 --> 0:05:42.001 lingerie and then a nighty and then a sexy robe 0:05:42.001 --> 0:05:43.481 and I've got the layers to take off and it 0:05:43.481 --> 0:05:46.601 feels the experience, but it also just helps me feel 0:05:46.681 --> 0:05:50.041 quite feminine and it helps me step out of mum hat, 0:05:50.201 --> 0:05:52.281 and it helps me step out of any masculine energy 0:05:52.281 --> 0:05:54.281 that I might have been carrying for the day. The 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:57.001 texture of the silk feeling on my skin and the 0:05:57.041 --> 0:05:59.121 look of the lace. I just really love it. And 0:05:59.521 --> 0:06:03.281 Steve loves it. Loves a lingerie. He does anytime a 0:06:03.361 --> 0:06:05.441 rarity is like yep, come here. 0:06:05.440 --> 0:06:07.281 It's almost like a queue, almost like it is a 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:09.960 cue putting this beautiful set on and you're getting in 0:06:09.961 --> 0:06:12.001 the energy of like getting ready to be intimate or 0:06:12.001 --> 0:06:14.681 be central of being that playabul energy. Like it sounds bad, 0:06:14.721 --> 0:06:16.481 that's like obviously putting on a hat of like ew. 0:06:16.561 --> 0:06:18.601 You know, you're putting on this costume and you're getting 0:06:18.641 --> 0:06:20.241 ready to like enter this beauty. 0:06:20.241 --> 0:06:22.161 If I don't want to have sex or be intimate 0:06:22.281 --> 0:06:25.281 and I come out of my moomoo, he knows the 0:06:25.320 --> 0:06:27.321 momo is not going to happen tonight. If I come 0:06:27.361 --> 0:06:31.801 out in my black long, like beautiful lacy silk nighty 0:06:32.001 --> 0:06:34.481 with a robe, He's like, Okay, when the kids go 0:06:34.521 --> 0:06:37.880 to bed, you give me your cue. And I love 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:39.760 it because it's also that build up too of like 0:06:39.841 --> 0:06:42.041 knowing that it's coming. That's really fun as well. Yeah, 0:06:42.041 --> 0:06:43.001 it's one of the It is a cute. 0:06:43.041 --> 0:06:44.721 It's a beautiful cue, like the anticipation. 0:06:45.001 --> 0:06:47.281 Yeah. So even if you don't feel fully confident in 0:06:47.281 --> 0:06:49.080 your body, like find something it does make you feel 0:06:49.121 --> 0:06:51.001 more sexy, like brother, it's a one piece, or whether 0:06:51.041 --> 0:06:54.321 it is just a dressing gown, something just like makes 0:06:54.361 --> 0:06:56.561 you feel feminine step out of those other hats. 0:06:56.641 --> 0:06:59.481 Yeah. Oh, I love that. It's very empowering for me 0:06:59.561 --> 0:07:02.520 because I love one to feel just sexy in my body. 0:07:02.561 --> 0:07:05.041 And it's I've come a long way from the second 0:07:05.281 --> 0:07:06.801 shame that I've had when I was younger to be 0:07:06.961 --> 0:07:09.841 suppressing myself entirely, to being able to get to the 0:07:09.841 --> 0:07:12.841 point where I feel sensual in my body and I 0:07:12.881 --> 0:07:15.001 get to like put on these beautiful pieces of like 0:07:15.121 --> 0:07:17.521 lingerie and feel like I love my body and like 0:07:17.841 --> 0:07:19.961 get to explore myself and then also get to do 0:07:20.001 --> 0:07:22.281 that for my partner as well, and so like for me, 0:07:22.361 --> 0:07:23.921 it's been always a big thing in my head. I'm like, 0:07:23.961 --> 0:07:26.601 I love being able to create an experience for my 0:07:26.681 --> 0:07:30.081 partner because it just feels like such a connecting thing. 0:07:30.281 --> 0:07:32.321 It's so mud let me do this feel, let me 0:07:32.321 --> 0:07:33.961 take care of you, let me like you know, it 0:07:34.041 --> 0:07:36.081 just feels like really fun. So it is fun. I've 0:07:36.081 --> 0:07:37.841 always found a lot of enjoyment in doing that. 0:07:38.161 --> 0:07:40.841 Can we just talk about the tags on Honeyburdet? Oh? Sorry, 0:07:40.881 --> 0:07:43.201 if we're paying four hundred dollars for a set of lingerie, 0:07:43.601 --> 0:07:45.281 they're not ripple with tags. And when you put the 0:07:45.361 --> 0:07:47.681 lingerie on it's obviously C three you can fully see 0:07:47.681 --> 0:07:50.881 this massive black tag grunt too, front, back side of 0:07:50.921 --> 0:07:52.881 the bra wherever it is. I'm like, this is horrendous 0:07:52.921 --> 0:07:55.041 for a four hundred dollars set of lingerie. It's termed 0:07:55.041 --> 0:07:58.001 me off buying from them. I would love to know. Actually, girls, 0:07:58.161 --> 0:08:00.041 jump it to our forum. Where are you buying a 0:08:00.041 --> 0:08:02.681 beautiful lingerie? I went to Bras and Things. They've got 0:08:02.681 --> 0:08:05.721 a couple of really beautiful sets and I bought one online. Oh, 0:08:05.761 --> 0:08:07.481 I walked past the shop and Sydney with Steve the 0:08:07.481 --> 0:08:10.041 other week was like cloud something. I forget the brand. 0:08:10.281 --> 0:08:11.721 We were in a rush, but they looked like they 0:08:11.761 --> 0:08:14.121 had really nice things. So if you guys have any recommendations, 0:08:14.441 --> 0:08:16.321 please let me know. Love to know someone to spend 0:08:16.321 --> 0:08:18.921 four hundreds on one set for the tags we show angreed, 0:08:19.161 --> 0:08:20.161 not okay. 0:08:20.361 --> 0:08:23.361 I think lounge wear do some, but I haven't personally 0:08:23.361 --> 0:08:24.161 bought any from there. 0:08:24.241 --> 0:08:26.881 It just looks like really branded lounge lounge lounge lands, 0:08:26.881 --> 0:08:28.521 like all around the unders and stuff. 0:08:28.601 --> 0:08:30.281 Yeah, their underwear is like I don't know if the 0:08:30.561 --> 0:08:32.241 I've looked at the lazy ones though, Yeah, I don't 0:08:32.241 --> 0:08:34.401 know if they like the actual sets are like that. Yeah, 0:08:34.441 --> 0:08:36.481 but I do remember seeing they have some variety. I 0:08:36.521 --> 0:08:37.681 just personally haven't bought them. 0:08:37.761 --> 0:08:39.561 Yeah, okay, I might have a look on their look. Yeah, 0:08:39.641 --> 0:08:43.041 let us know if you guys have any other restomundations. Okay. 0:08:43.121 --> 0:08:46.441 My next one is don't forget to flirt with your partner, 0:08:46.641 --> 0:08:49.161 big one. Like I've been with Steve seventeen years, but 0:08:49.161 --> 0:08:51.681 we still flirt. Yeah, and it's so important. I mean, 0:08:52.001 --> 0:08:55.561 I love flirty text messages, sending photos. That's not for everyone. 0:08:55.561 --> 0:08:57.521 I know you don't love doing that, but I love 0:08:57.601 --> 0:08:59.961 doing that for Steve. Even during out the day, like 0:09:00.041 --> 0:09:01.841 we obviously work in the same office. We're just going 0:09:01.921 --> 0:09:03.561 up and giving them a kiss on the cheek or 0:09:04.161 --> 0:09:07.001 sex talking, you know, dirty talk. There's so many little 0:09:07.041 --> 0:09:09.081 things that you can do. Just it's been more flirtatious 0:09:09.121 --> 0:09:11.401 and you used to do that at the start, so 0:09:11.521 --> 0:09:13.521 why would you not continue to do that in your relationship. 0:09:13.561 --> 0:09:15.561 It just adds the build up. But as the fun, 0:09:15.601 --> 0:09:17.161 it gets you in the playful energy and it's really 0:09:17.161 --> 0:09:19.521 connecting and it makes you feel. For me, it makes 0:09:19.561 --> 0:09:22.321 me feel desired, and I'm guessing it makes Steve feel 0:09:22.321 --> 0:09:24.241 desired as well, which I think is a really important 0:09:24.281 --> 0:09:27.081 factor in a relationship, especially long term. At the start, 0:09:27.121 --> 0:09:29.081 you feel super desired, you can't get enough of each other, 0:09:29.361 --> 0:09:30.921 but as you go on long term, that's something you 0:09:30.921 --> 0:09:33.161 have to be really conscious about. I love flirting. I 0:09:33.161 --> 0:09:33.961 think it's really fun. 0:09:34.121 --> 0:09:37.561 It's like consciously creating that yeah each other, Yeah, yeah, 0:09:37.681 --> 0:09:41.001 keeping that fire alive, keeping the fire aliveful energy when 0:09:41.001 --> 0:09:43.881 you're in a floating isn't it. It's so playful so far. 0:09:43.921 --> 0:09:45.481 It's like you bat a little bit their way, and 0:09:45.481 --> 0:09:46.921 then they bat a little bit. Yeah, You're like, oh, 0:09:47.361 --> 0:09:49.001 this energetic peas is so fun. 0:09:49.121 --> 0:09:51.921 It's so fun. So like tap back into that. And 0:09:52.241 --> 0:09:54.081 I had a story for a while there that I 0:09:54.201 --> 0:09:55.961 didn't know how to flirt and I'd kind of lost 0:09:56.041 --> 0:09:58.521 that about myself. And then once you practice to get 0:09:58.521 --> 0:10:02.521 into you're like, no, it's always there. Stephanie's like yeah, 0:10:02.681 --> 0:10:03.961 Stephanie is there. We love that. 0:10:05.041 --> 0:10:10.281 I feel like focusing on breath, like when I'm being 0:10:10.441 --> 0:10:12.961 intimate or even leading up to being intimate, I find 0:10:13.081 --> 0:10:15.841 is really helpful. So whether it be whether I'm by myself, 0:10:16.161 --> 0:10:19.081 I'm always conscious of my breath before I actually go 0:10:19.161 --> 0:10:20.121 into like self pleasure. 0:10:20.241 --> 0:10:21.801 So what do you do just like stop to do 0:10:21.841 --> 0:10:23.841 a meditation or do you just like focus on slowing 0:10:23.841 --> 0:10:25.241 it down? Depends what kind of mood I'm in. 0:10:25.281 --> 0:10:27.601 So sometimes it might be like putting on a Temanute 0:10:27.641 --> 0:10:30.321 meditation where I'm like on the bed, laying down my 0:10:30.361 --> 0:10:34.521 eyes closed, breathing and following the guided meditation. Or sometimes 0:10:34.561 --> 0:10:36.601 it might even be putting music on and then just 0:10:36.641 --> 0:10:38.841 breathing to the rhythm of the music and it's just 0:10:38.921 --> 0:10:41.881 about creating rhythm with my breath. And then that way 0:10:41.921 --> 0:10:44.361 it gets me connecting to my body because then it's 0:10:44.401 --> 0:10:46.561 like out of my head and into my body and 0:10:46.601 --> 0:10:47.881 I can kind of like slow it. 0:10:47.801 --> 0:10:49.881 Down more of that. That's really good bye. 0:10:49.961 --> 0:10:51.881 I find it's really good. And then also if you're 0:10:51.921 --> 0:10:54.321 with a partner, it's like you can do rhythmic breathing together, 0:10:54.601 --> 0:10:56.241 so it's like you don't even have to voice it. 0:10:56.241 --> 0:10:58.241 You can just follow their breath. Yeah, and then you 0:10:58.321 --> 0:10:59.921 kind of get into this like pattern together. 0:11:00.041 --> 0:11:00.841 That's beautiful and. 0:11:00.761 --> 0:11:03.401 Then it's like a connection with them. Yeah, I find 0:11:03.441 --> 0:11:05.481 that that's bad. That's a good one. 0:11:06.721 --> 0:11:08.601 If you've seen the ad and you want your free 0:11:08.801 --> 0:11:12.321 natural lubricant, your code is slippery. Let's get back to 0:11:12.321 --> 0:11:15.961 the episode. Okay, So my next one is really hard 0:11:16.041 --> 0:11:18.241 with children. And Steve and I went to Sydney a 0:11:18.241 --> 0:11:20.881 little while ago and just had the best time. It 0:11:20.921 --> 0:11:22.441 was a couple of days just full of lots of 0:11:22.481 --> 0:11:24.681 sex and when we came home we were in that 0:11:24.721 --> 0:11:28.041 really sexual energy and let we forgot we got interrupted, 0:11:28.161 --> 0:11:30.041 like you know, we put Tarla to bed, but then 0:11:30.281 --> 0:11:33.241 five minutes later she's knocking on our door. I'm like, 0:11:33.281 --> 0:11:35.041 oh my gosh, I forgot about this. But when you 0:11:35.161 --> 0:11:38.001 have the time and space like for me really turns 0:11:38.041 --> 0:11:40.041 you on. Knowing that there's no rush. Yeah, and that's 0:11:40.081 --> 0:11:41.561 why you do want to wait to your kids are 0:11:41.601 --> 0:11:43.441 asleep or they're having a nap and knowing you've got 0:11:43.441 --> 0:11:45.441 that time, which I know for a lot of parents 0:11:45.441 --> 0:11:47.241 listening you're probably rolling your eyes been like we never 0:11:47.281 --> 0:11:49.881 get that time. You got to find it. You really 0:11:49.961 --> 0:11:51.641 do have to find and make it. But if I 0:11:51.681 --> 0:11:53.521 feel like I'm in a rush, I just find it 0:11:53.561 --> 0:11:55.881 harder to really be in the moment and enjoy it 0:11:55.881 --> 0:11:57.441 as much as what I do. When I know there's 0:11:57.481 --> 0:12:00.001 no rush, we can explore each other's bodies and just 0:12:00.041 --> 0:12:01.881 be really present and have fun with it and try 0:12:01.921 --> 0:12:04.641 new things. I don't love the rush to get it 0:12:04.681 --> 0:12:07.601 done feels when you've only got a certain amount of time. Like, yes, 0:12:07.601 --> 0:12:09.001 there's a time and place for it, for sure, where 0:12:09.001 --> 0:12:11.561 it's spontaneous, of course, But for me, I feel a 0:12:11.601 --> 0:12:13.761 lot more turned on when I can just fully relax 0:12:13.881 --> 0:12:15.401 knowing there's no time limit and we're not going to 0:12:15.441 --> 0:12:18.881 be interrupted ta staycase. I know they're not accessible to everyone, 0:12:19.041 --> 0:12:21.721 you know, especially in this financial crisis, I suppose that 0:12:21.721 --> 0:12:24.041 a lot of people are in Yeah, gosh, Stayka's. I 0:12:24.121 --> 0:12:26.201 just feel so connected and so nice to just be 0:12:26.281 --> 0:12:28.201 able to really pour into each other and be in 0:12:28.241 --> 0:12:29.001 that energy together. 0:12:29.201 --> 0:12:31.041 You get to like plug back into each other outside 0:12:31.081 --> 0:12:32.401 of all the other hats that you've got going on 0:12:32.441 --> 0:12:32.801 in life. 0:12:32.841 --> 0:12:35.001 Because I had a conversation with Steve once we got 0:12:35.001 --> 0:12:36.641 back to it's like a week or two later, I 0:12:36.681 --> 0:12:38.361 was like, far right. You can really feel the difference 0:12:38.401 --> 0:12:41.401 of when you come back into stress, into kids, into 0:12:41.841 --> 0:12:44.801 doing into routine, and it's so easy to get out 0:12:44.801 --> 0:12:47.321 of that energy. You've got to be really conscious to 0:12:47.361 --> 0:12:49.601 bring all of these things that we're talking about, yeah, 0:12:49.641 --> 0:12:51.481 into your day to day and not just waiting for 0:12:51.521 --> 0:12:53.681 a stay CA And that was my lesson this time. 0:12:53.721 --> 0:12:55.161 I was like, I can't just wait for a stay 0:12:55.201 --> 0:12:59.281 k to bring this playful, sexual, flirty energy in. How 0:12:59.281 --> 0:13:01.081 do I bring some of that back and pull it 0:13:01.081 --> 0:13:02.761 in each day? And I've been really conscious of it, 0:13:02.841 --> 0:13:05.241 and yes, it's not the same being away, but it's 0:13:05.241 --> 0:13:07.801 still really nice. Yeah, so that when we are into 0:13:07.841 --> 0:13:09.801 met we've got that lead up, we've got that connection, 0:13:09.841 --> 0:13:12.801 we've got that energy that we've consciously been working towards 0:13:12.841 --> 0:13:14.641 and enjoying day to day, and. 0:13:14.561 --> 0:13:16.081 Then you're not waiting for the stay care. You can 0:13:16.081 --> 0:13:17.081 actually have it now. 0:13:17.121 --> 0:13:19.721 Virtually get to create it. But it takes a lot 0:13:19.721 --> 0:13:21.921 of conscious effort, especially when you're parents. 0:13:22.161 --> 0:13:24.961 I could imagine, especially with the constant interruption, because that 0:13:24.961 --> 0:13:25.761 would be chology. 0:13:26.201 --> 0:13:28.201 It's like an instant mood killer. 0:13:28.361 --> 0:13:30.201 Yeah, Immediately you're like, you know, there's a little human 0:13:30.241 --> 0:13:30.881 outside the door. 0:13:31.441 --> 0:13:35.441 Literally You're like, I'm not present at all. No, now 0:13:35.481 --> 0:13:36.761 I'm worried. Now I'm paranoid. 0:13:36.921 --> 0:13:40.241 Yeah. Love it so something that I'd love to do. 0:13:40.281 --> 0:13:43.441 I love slowing it down. Yeah, Like, especially with a partner. 0:13:43.801 --> 0:13:45.401 I feel like I've come a long way with this 0:13:45.441 --> 0:13:47.601 as well, because when I was younger, I think maybe 0:13:47.641 --> 0:13:51.441 just the young belief of needing to be objectified and 0:13:51.561 --> 0:13:54.641 overly sexualized growing up around especially around the eighteen mark, 0:13:54.761 --> 0:13:56.801 like you kind of go through different phases where you 0:13:56.841 --> 0:13:59.161 think this is what men want kind of thing, right, 0:13:59.321 --> 0:14:01.481 I mean, at least idea right, And so I think 0:14:01.481 --> 0:14:03.841 for me, I really got into like this headspace of 0:14:03.881 --> 0:14:07.201 like needing to perform and like having to be a 0:14:07.241 --> 0:14:09.361 certain way or shore up a certain way, or like 0:14:09.481 --> 0:14:11.561 certain things that were maybe a little bit more rough 0:14:11.601 --> 0:14:12.881 than what I liked, do. 0:14:12.841 --> 0:14:13.361 You know what I mean? 0:14:13.481 --> 0:14:15.881 And so what I've learned, especially of the last couple 0:14:15.921 --> 0:14:19.281 of years with my past partners, is that I actually 0:14:19.281 --> 0:14:21.801 really like to slow things down because it just is 0:14:21.921 --> 0:14:25.281 such a different experience. And again, like what you said before, 0:14:25.321 --> 0:14:28.041 like there's a time and a place for different moods. Sure, wrong, right, 0:14:28.241 --> 0:14:30.761 But for the most part, I think slowing it down, 0:14:30.801 --> 0:14:34.241 whether that be kissing or for play or like the 0:14:34.281 --> 0:14:38.121 actual art of sex and intimacy is like slowing it 0:14:38.161 --> 0:14:40.281 down so that you're feeling things more and then it's 0:14:40.321 --> 0:14:44.841 more about connection and presence and pleasure as opposed to 0:14:44.921 --> 0:14:47.321 like getting to a specific outcome or getting it down. 0:14:47.721 --> 0:14:50.761 You're enjoying the whole experience rough and just the orgasm. 0:14:50.881 --> 0:14:52.721 And like we had a little bit of a conversation 0:14:52.801 --> 0:14:56.441 like this this morning around not rushing the process, like 0:14:56.681 --> 0:15:00.121 just actually being present, out of your head, in your body, 0:15:00.281 --> 0:15:04.361 enjoying that moment of pleasure as opposed to like performing 0:15:04.601 --> 0:15:06.921 rushing or feeling like you need to get it done. 0:15:07.001 --> 0:15:09.121 We'll talk about the conversation we had this morning, because 0:15:09.161 --> 0:15:11.681 even after seventeen years, Steve and I are still exploring 0:15:11.681 --> 0:15:15.041 and asking questions and checking in. And we both said 0:15:15.601 --> 0:15:18.361 sometimes we're worried that we're in our head like, oh, 0:15:18.721 --> 0:15:21.081 is it taking too long to organism? Are they getting 0:15:21.161 --> 0:15:23.321 over it? And I said that to you the other day, 0:15:23.321 --> 0:15:25.361 I said, is there ever any a point where you're like, oh, 0:15:25.401 --> 0:15:28.241 she's taking so long? He's like, are you joking? Yeah, 0:15:28.281 --> 0:15:31.361 no way, I enjoy the whole prochus. I enjoy seeing 0:15:31.401 --> 0:15:33.441 you in pleasure. That's never never like get that out 0:15:33.441 --> 0:15:35.801 of your head, because that would just make you paranoid 0:15:35.841 --> 0:15:37.281 and not be in the moment and not relax and 0:15:37.281 --> 0:15:39.161 then not be able to come yep. I was like, yeah, 0:15:39.201 --> 0:15:40.841 it's a good point. We both said we felt like that. 0:15:40.961 --> 0:15:43.601 I'm sure so many of you listening maybe you get 0:15:43.641 --> 0:15:46.241 paranoid I about that, but don't like this is your 0:15:46.281 --> 0:15:48.521 time to relax and be in the moment and enjoy 0:15:48.801 --> 0:15:51.281 every moment. So enjoy every moment. 0:15:51.521 --> 0:15:53.521 I think it's like even sometimes a reflection of like 0:15:53.641 --> 0:15:56.281 how scared you can get to like take up space. Yeah, 0:15:56.361 --> 0:15:58.521 you know, and like I really noticed sometimes a part 0:15:58.561 --> 0:16:00.641 of me being like, oh, like am I taking too long? 0:16:00.761 --> 0:16:03.121 Like the people pleasing too, isn't it like oh I 0:16:03.201 --> 0:16:04.521 want to make this about them that. 0:16:04.681 --> 0:16:07.001 Yeah, like just want to take care of them step 0:16:07.121 --> 0:16:09.561 or anything like that. And I, yeah, just coming back 0:16:09.561 --> 0:16:11.521 to the performative thing for a sec because yeah, we 0:16:11.561 --> 0:16:15.241 had this conversation actually around how when it's very performative 0:16:15.241 --> 0:16:17.481 based or it's very like rough and hard and all 0:16:17.481 --> 0:16:19.521 those sorts of things. I don't know, maybe it's like 0:16:19.561 --> 0:16:22.161 my insecurities, but I feel a little bit like used 0:16:22.161 --> 0:16:25.041 a bit, you know, it doesn't feel as nice, doesn't 0:16:25.041 --> 0:16:28.241 feel as nice. There's no caressing, there's no love making, 0:16:28.401 --> 0:16:31.201 there's like and I just I noticed the head noise. 0:16:31.681 --> 0:16:34.041