WEBVTT - LIVE Bonus: Today At Apple - Power of Storytelling 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.680 Hey, guys, you're going to be so excited for. 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:05.680 This episode because it was our first ever pod recording 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:07.640 in front of a live audience, and we did it 0:00:07.680 --> 0:00:10.040 at the Apple Store in George Street in Sydney. 0:00:10.320 --> 0:00:11.040 It was a part of. 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:13.640 Their Today at Apple series. We'll set the scene for you. 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:15.880 We're in the Apple Store in the middle of the 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:16.720 city doing the. 0:00:16.680 --> 0:00:18.800 Pod in front of a live audience. How crazy is that? 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:21.720 And behind us is this giant media war that you 0:00:21.720 --> 0:00:24.400 could put photos and videos up, so we reference them 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:26.720 throughout this episode so you can just imagine them. 0:00:26.840 --> 0:00:29.400 Okay, But the whole concept of the Today at Apple 0:00:29.440 --> 0:00:31.880 session was around storytelling. 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:32.280 And the power of stories. 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:35.080 So we're really hoping you enjoyed this episode because we 0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:38.040 put a lot of love and effort and time into it. 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:39.040 So enjoy. 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:39.800 Let's go. 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:46.120 Thank you everyone for coming to First Things, first first 0:00:46.159 --> 0:00:48.200 ever live podcast here at Apple. 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:51.879 We're so thrilled to see you all. I know that. 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:54.560 Kieran did a wonderful acknowledgment, but I just like to 0:00:54.560 --> 0:00:56.240 share a little bit of our culture when it comes 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:59.200 to acknowledgments, and I know that he acknowledged the Gatigil 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:01.560 people of the nation, and. 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:04.120 I know that you've probably heard that word gagigel many. 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:06.320 Times, but you probably don't know what it means. It 0:01:06.400 --> 0:01:08.480 means people of the grass tree. So that's a little 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:09.800 bit of our culture that we would like you to 0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:10.360 take home. 0:01:10.880 --> 0:01:12.920 I'm so excited to be here. Oh my god, this 0:01:13.000 --> 0:01:15.679 is I know, it feels so surreal. Let's jump into 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:17.640 and welcomes the first things. 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:21.280 First, you know, we're here because we are so passionate 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:25.120 about storytelling and we are two First Nations people who 0:01:25.200 --> 0:01:28.280 get to use our platform to tell First Nation stories. 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.959 And we know that we hold a unique position in 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:37.000 the media in Australia as to modern day First Nations storytellers. 0:01:37.200 --> 0:01:41.560 It is the cornerstone of our culture. Storytelling just holds 0:01:41.560 --> 0:01:45.880 so much significance for us. Not only obviously is around 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:50.600 passing down knowledge, It's about connection to country. It's preserving 0:01:51.160 --> 0:01:54.720 our identity as First Nations people in this country. And 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:58.320 a lot of our storytelling is around healing and resilience 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:02.880 and persistence resistance as well. So you know, we have 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:05.240 a lot of strength in our communities and we're so 0:02:05.360 --> 0:02:07.480 proud to be sharing our stories for all of you 0:02:07.560 --> 0:02:11.680 today and educating obviously the wider world and the wider. 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:14.200 Generations and our future generations as well. 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:17.600 So talking about the future, Maddie, but we're going to 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:20.359 go back to the past a little bit. Okay, Maddie 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:23.120 and I have been podcasting for a couple of years now, 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:27.440 but we've been sharing our story for pretty much the 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:30.440 day that we were born, pretty much right. But our 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:35.320 stories share so many parallels, but so many differences as well. Yeah, 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:38.200 can I ask you to share a little bit about 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:41.800 your childhood and I guess what that was like growing up, 0:02:41.919 --> 0:02:45.160 and I guess how storytelling kind of comes into play 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:45.920 for your totally. 0:02:46.240 --> 0:02:48.680 I definitely feel like Brooke and I were separated the birth. 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:51.920 There is something about that is so uncanny about our stories. 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:54.600 There are so many parallels. Our experiences really do marry 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:56.919 up with each other, but the start of our stories. 0:02:56.639 --> 0:02:57.520 Are a little bit different. 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:00.600 You know, I grew up without a lot of storytelling, 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.000 without a lot of culture in the early days of 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:05.560 my childhood. I grew up in the western suburbs of 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:08.679 Sydney with a single mum and two brothers. And this 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:11.440 follow here on the board, as you can see, holding 0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:14.679 that incredibly gorgeous little man's name, Little. 0:03:14.480 --> 0:03:16.040 Maddie that's my dad. 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:18.720 But when I was young, I was told that my 0:03:18.880 --> 0:03:22.760 dad had passed away, and I grew up without the 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:26.280 connection to culture that part of my identity. And it 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:29.040 wasn't until many years later, when I was taken into 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:31.800 the care system as a part of foster care, that 0:03:31.880 --> 0:03:34.120 we actually realized that this man that you see on 0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:37.640 this board here was actually alive. I grew up with 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:40.240 the belief that he had passed away, but he didn't 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:43.080 have a death certificate. So we went on a search 0:03:43.200 --> 0:03:46.840 for my dad and that's where the connection to my culture, 0:03:47.000 --> 0:03:50.240 my identity, and the stories from my family that I 0:03:50.400 --> 0:03:52.760 was missing out on came back into my life. And 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.880 I really feel like as First Nations people, when we 0:03:55.920 --> 0:03:59.640 don't have that connection to family, culture, story, there is 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.400 a big part of ourselves that feels like there's something 0:04:02.400 --> 0:04:05.720 that's lost. And so being able to connect with my 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.080 family back on Gomorroy Country in the northwest corner of 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:12.440 New South Wales and reconnect with my dad after all 0:04:12.480 --> 0:04:16.040 those years was a really beautiful moment in my story. 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:18.440 Once I reconnected with him, you know, he told me 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:21.599 many stories about my people where we come from the 0:04:21.600 --> 0:04:24.719 country he grew up on and It was like something 0:04:24.760 --> 0:04:27.440 that had been missing in my life had been found. 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:28.800 Oh Maddie. 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:29.640 Yeah. 0:04:29.680 --> 0:04:32.400 Also, how can you look that good as a young 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:36.440 Maddie and still even twenty even more gorgeous. 0:04:36.480 --> 0:04:39.760 I mean, look the forehead if you need evidence, the 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:41.039 forehead is still the same. 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:42.840 Oh Maddie. 0:04:42.839 --> 0:04:45.760 That story is just I guess the gravity of that 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:48.800 and the weight of that, you know, little Maddie growing 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:51.360 up not thinking that his dad was there and then 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:54.320 finding that and then so that, you know, storytelling is 0:04:54.360 --> 0:04:57.600 about reconnection sometimes, and I think that's really beautiful. 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:00.359 And I know that you know your story you started 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:02.880 a little bit different. You know, you had your family 0:05:02.960 --> 0:05:06.240 around in in your younger days. And I love the 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:09.440 story that you tell about the turtle and the totem 0:05:09.760 --> 0:05:11.720 from when your mum was pregnant with you all the 0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:12.360 way back there. 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:12.960 Yeah. 0:05:13.240 --> 0:05:16.640 So my story again similar to Maddie is, but very different. 0:05:17.080 --> 0:05:21.039 So growing up in Canarvin on Yemagee Country, I was 0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:24.680 so blessed to have a family of matriarchs, my mother 0:05:24.720 --> 0:05:27.159 and my grandmother who are in those photos and they will. 0:05:26.960 --> 0:05:27.680 Now look at them. 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:32.120 And I grew up, you know, looking after my siblings 0:05:32.360 --> 0:05:36.680 and the story around the turtle, which is really significant 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:40.440 to totem ship and spirituality for First Nations people, is 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:43.240 something that my grandmother really held onto and as a 0:05:43.279 --> 0:05:46.800 story that I hold onto because it keeps me connected 0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:50.039 to her. So when my mother was pregnant with me, 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:53.360 we grew up on the coast of Wa, so we 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:55.440 were on like I think it was in Coral Bay 0:05:55.520 --> 0:05:56.839 or shot it was an ex mouth. 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:59.000 Actually I talk as if I was alive. Then I 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:01.600 was still in my mum's ballet. My mom was. 0:06:01.560 --> 0:06:04.239 Pregnant and she was, you know, buoyant in the water, 0:06:04.560 --> 0:06:07.279 like just swimming. And my grandmother was on the shores 0:06:07.320 --> 0:06:10.560 of this beautiful white sand, blue water, and she could 0:06:10.560 --> 0:06:13.200 see these beautiful green sea turtles popping up around my 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:16.440 mum taking a little breath of fresh air. And that 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:21.719 was like my grandmother gifted me the green sea turtle totem, 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:25.040 which is like an animal connection usually when it shows 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.120 up around pregnancy or when the birth as well. And 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.720 so I was gifted the animal bow and gara, which 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:33.240 is the green sea turtle. And so throughout it, I've 0:06:33.240 --> 0:06:34.839 got it tattooed on me. I've got it on my 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:38.440 spine of my book somewhere that storytelling for me like 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:41.280 I wasn't even born, But that story will carry on, 0:06:41.320 --> 0:06:44.680 and I'll pass that on down to my daughter, my 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:48.880 grandchildren and hopefully you know forever, that story will pass on. 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:51.600 Yeah, and I think you know you've obviously gone through 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:54.279 a lot of difficulties in your life in the early 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.919 days as well, in terms of loss and grief, and 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:59.359 that's a huge part of our culture's first nations people 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:02.400 and our varience. And I know that you know these 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:04.760 photos of your beautiful moum and you'll. 0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:09.359 No, so yeah, I probably should have mentioned before that, Yeah, 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:12.600 my mother and my grandmother have actually passed on me. 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:16.080 I'm down obviously the bottom there, and then my two brothers. 0:07:16.120 --> 0:07:19.840 We are actually the only life people today. Everyone else 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:23.000 has actually unfortunately passed on. And that's I guess a 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.440 bit of a reality of my life is that I 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:28.040 grew up so connected at culture in my starting years 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.200 and then when I was eleven, I kind of all 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:31.880 lost it and it kind of. 0:07:32.360 --> 0:07:34.520 Yeah, I was in and out of care. 0:07:35.680 --> 0:07:37.640 I was taken and to live with my dad, who 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:41.200 he is white and he lived in a different cultural 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:45.200 background place, and so I grew up so connected and 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:48.840 then kind of got disconnected and then in my adult 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:52.400 life had to reconnect and find my way. So yeah, 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:55.360 a bit of a different journey we've been on. Yeah, 0:07:55.440 --> 0:07:56.480 stop looking at me like that. 0:07:56.600 --> 0:07:59.920 I always look at her at all because this girl 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.000 right here, you know, I call on my sister, but 0:08:02.240 --> 0:08:04.440 she has gone on to do incredible things, you know, 0:08:04.600 --> 0:08:07.400 and you would know her from the Bachelorette, you know, 0:08:07.480 --> 0:08:11.440 the first ever queer and first nation's bachelorette the world 0:08:11.480 --> 0:08:15.960 has ever seen, and the most beautiful. But you know, 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:19.760 I look at you in all because you know, you're 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:23.160 somebody who isn't afraid to break down barriers and also 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:27.160 be vulnerable and share your stories so openly with the country. 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:27.520 You know. 0:08:27.600 --> 0:08:29.600 I think it's a really powerful thing that you have 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:32.800 the ability to do. And I know that you know, 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:35.040 it wasn't just being the bachelorette that was, you know, 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:38.520 the first thing for you. There's been many firsts and 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:41.240 that's one of the things that we want to do 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:45.200 with our careers and our media opportunities is that we 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:48.360 want to break down the barriers in the mainstream media 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:52.920 and that's what we're doing with our storytelling through the podcast. 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:56.000 You bring up a great point about first and I 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:59.240 think for us and for myself, I was the first 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:02.080 to in my family to graduate school. 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:04.199 I was the first to go to university. 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:06.720 I was the first to really get like a full 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:10.520 time stable job to help support back and give back 0:09:10.559 --> 0:09:12.960 to my family. And so from a young age I 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:17.000 felt a lot of responsibility. But part of the responsibility 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:21.800 felt like I wanted to tell stories. I wanted to 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:23.920 My mum and my nana didn't really get to live 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:26.800 out their life. My nana died when she was fifty two. 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:29.440 My mom died when she was thirty four, so very young. 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:33.760 And I'm Nelly thirty So I had this obligation in 0:09:33.800 --> 0:09:37.520 a way to share stories and become the first of 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:41.040 many things. And I'm Maddie you had the same aspirations, right, 0:09:41.080 --> 0:09:45.280 and like it just goes to show how much they're 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:48.679 instilled in us, and how much culture is like a 0:09:48.760 --> 0:09:54.480 part of us, but how deep those stories run through us. 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:55.920 I don't know where I'm up to. 0:09:57.080 --> 0:09:59.319 Well, I'm going to actually just come off the back 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:00.920 of that. When you talk talk about, you know, our 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:03.640 stories and the power of storytelling. I really believe that 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.200 in this country, when we are telling stories the First Nation. 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:09.600 Stories must be considered, you know, must always be considered 0:10:09.720 --> 0:10:11.679 when we're telling the story of our country and our 0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:12.719 national identity. 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:15.880 But you know, oh yes, no stop, I know what 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:18.400 it is here, I go come back. 0:10:18.640 --> 0:10:20.880 He was given me the biggest rat before this is 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:24.240 my brain. He was giving me the biggest rap. He's like, yeah, bachelorette, 0:10:24.240 --> 0:10:27.319 blah blah. Anyways, I was. Yes, I was the first 0:10:27.400 --> 0:10:31.800 queer First Nations bachelorette, and I was also a published author, 0:10:31.840 --> 0:10:36.240 et cetera. But Maddie has done some incredible fast like 0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:39.760 could you not This man has like not only just 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:43.360 broken down barriers, like he is stormed right through them. 0:10:43.720 --> 0:10:46.160 He is like, no, no, there is no path. I'm 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:47.439 just gonna make it myself. 0:10:49.040 --> 0:10:56.640 What shame really? Really, So you were. 0:10:56.559 --> 0:11:01.160 The first First Nations man person queer man. 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:06.000 I would just not over tick your boxes but pick 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:06.360 them off. 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:10.320 On Getaway, Yeah that was you know, I was the 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:13.000 first ever indigenous host on Getaway. The show has been 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.080 on air for thirty two years, and it is a 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:18.880 show that you know, tells the story of place and country. 0:11:19.000 --> 0:11:20.960 And to think that over the thirty two years that 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:22.920 that show has been on air, they've never had a 0:11:22.960 --> 0:11:25.760 First Nations person be a host. I was watching get 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:28.640 Away on a Thursday night and I went away and 0:11:28.679 --> 0:11:30.080 came back to the TV, and I didn't know if 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:31.079 the presenter had changed. 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:33.360 Everyone was blonde hair and blue eyes. Not joking. 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:36.080 So I sent an email into Channel nine and I said, Hey, 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:38.000 I have an idea for you. Why don't I come 0:11:38.040 --> 0:11:41.720 in and present you with an opportunity that you know, 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:44.240 I feel like is needed in this media landscape, in 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:51.320 mainstream media. So this follow as you went in and 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:53.160 had a meeting with Channel nine and said, look, you know, 0:11:53.320 --> 0:11:55.360 I think that there needs to be a First Nations 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:57.319 presenter if you're going to be talking about country and 0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.280 place on a show like Getaway. 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:00.600 So that's how I get away. 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:02.440 People think that Channel nine called me up on it 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:04.440 and told me that I was amazing and said, hey, 0:12:04.440 --> 0:12:05.120 do you want the job? 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:06.000 Absolutely not. 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:09.000 No, you went after it, You went for it and 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:09.440 you got it. 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:11.920 And as First Nations people, we are constantly having to 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:13.960 knock on the doors and we get a lot of no'se. 0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:15.439 We get a lot of knockbacks. 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:19.200 But I've always been a bit tenacious in my spirit 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:21.400 where it's like, what is the worst that can happen. 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:23.880 They can say no and then you find another way through. 0:12:23.960 --> 0:12:26.200 You know. But I always say, you know that. 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:29.000 I struggle with this saying you can't be what you 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.840 can't see, because you can be what you can't see. 0:12:32.120 --> 0:12:34.559 Just be the first create it yourself. 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:35.679 You can create it yourself. 0:12:35.720 --> 0:12:40.120 And I think, yeah, I feel like now Maddie works 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:45.120 at NV, he works in entertainment, he presents he this 0:12:45.200 --> 0:12:47.839 man inspires me so much because one he's an. 0:12:47.800 --> 0:12:50.200 Extrovert and I'm like the opposite I am. 0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:56.240 But you inspire people to tell their stories, and through 0:12:56.280 --> 0:13:00.360 that you inspire me because I feel like you have 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:04.760 this ability to draw out what people can't always express 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:09.200 and share like I find like in sometimes our podcasts. 0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:10.679 Yeah, I might. 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:14.080 Not feel like sharing, but Maddie makes me feel safe 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.720 and comfortable to do that, and I feel like the 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:19.280 world needs to see that. And I'm so excited to 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:23.000 be beside you're doing that. But how you do it 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:26.320 and the ability that you do it with is just insane. 0:13:26.520 --> 0:13:28.360 Well, I think, you know, I always had a passion 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:31.280 for storytelling, and that's why I work with NTV because 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:33.720 it's a way to elevate the voices of black followers, 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:36.000 and I will always do that no matter where I 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:37.880 end up in the media, I will always have a 0:13:37.920 --> 0:13:40.960 connection to community and more. And I love doing entertainment, 0:13:41.000 --> 0:13:44.800 So I love Black joy, happiness, entertainment. You know, it's 0:13:44.800 --> 0:13:47.160 a bit of escape from the real world sometimes and 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:50.439 being able to elevate the voices of First Nations entertainers 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.960 is legit my dream job. So I do get to 0:13:54.000 --> 0:13:56.480 live out my dream interviewing, you know, mob around the 0:13:56.480 --> 0:13:58.120 country and telling their stories. 0:13:58.360 --> 0:13:58.600 Right. 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:03.080 I've sometimes even feel like podcasting is like work because 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:05.640 I have like the most amazing team. I get to 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:09.600 rock up. I talk, which I wasn't always good at. 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:12.280 Guys actually funny enough. I'll tell you a bit of 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:15.680 a yarn and I won't ramble. But when I was 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:19.880 in I guess eleven and twelve after losing my mom 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:23.160 and my nan, a post traumatic response for me was 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:26.400 that I went quiet and I couldn't talk. I actually 0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:30.000 went mute. And that's what now, twenty years on, or 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:34.280 Nelly just under having the ability to like talk in 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:37.400 front of people is just crazy for me, to like insane, 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:39.600 Like I've spoken in front of thousands, hundreds of people. 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:42.200 I've been on national television. And it still blows my 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.200 mind that little Brook at one stage when she was 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:49.840 eleven and twelve, couldn't even say like, how are you? 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:52.360 Like the most words that you could get out of 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:57.520 me was hello, goodbye, thank you, please, and sorry, which 0:14:57.560 --> 0:14:58.320 is kind of sad. 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:03.960 Talk about the Bachelorette, like this was obviously a monumental career. 0:15:04.440 --> 0:15:08.440 It was incredibly beautiful the way that you opened your season. 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:10.840 Yeah all right. I was waiting for it to trade. 0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.520 I was like, come on, look, how beautiful she is. 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:16.880 So the Bachelorette, you know, you did a welcome to 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.920 country on your season, which was so beautiful. It was 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:23.400 a way to share our culture and share our stories. 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:26.440 Tell me about the Bachelorette and like what that meant 0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:28.920 for you and how you've become this role model because 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:29.200 of it. 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.920 Well, to rewind time to get to the Bachelorette, I 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:36.120 had to do the Bachelor, and the Bachelorette was like 0:15:36.160 --> 0:15:39.040 a crazy experience where I left it and I left 0:15:39.040 --> 0:15:41.800 with this amazing platform, but I didn't actually know how 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:44.920 to quite use it then because I was working as 0:15:44.920 --> 0:15:47.800 a youth worker. That's my qualification, Like, that's what I've 0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:50.560 been working in for the last decade. I'm so passionate 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:55.280 around young people and helping young First Nations kids. So 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.560 the Bachelor was just a bit of a side step. 0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:00.840 And then two years after that having to be Bachelorette 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:04.440 was insane. But I didn't take the responsibility lightly and 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:07.520 nothing that I do I ever take lightly. And you 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:09.640 know this, like when I throw myself into it, I'm 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.800 one hundred and ten percent into it. And so I 0:16:12.920 --> 0:16:16.360 used this as an opportunity that to storytell, to like 0:16:16.480 --> 0:16:22.560 show people that First Nations people aren't what Australian media 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:25.840 always make us out to be, which is violent and 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:29.600 aggressive and drug addicts. Like it was actually not okay 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:32.720 that people thought of us like that, and I wanted 0:16:32.720 --> 0:16:35.400 to show that we're a culture of love and community 0:16:35.440 --> 0:16:39.240 and respect. So yeah, being the Bachelorette was a crazy experience, 0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.360 and I just wanted the Welcome to Country to open 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:46.080 up that and show that this episode this season was 0:16:46.120 --> 0:16:50.480 about love, community and also I welcomed anyone like whoever 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:54.320 watched my season. It was a bit different to normal seasons, 0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:56.440 like it was actually carried out with a lot of 0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:59.000 acceptance and a lot of love and a lot of queerness. 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:02.360 Which I'm so proud of. But coming out of that 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:05.960 experience was a bit of a downfall as well, because 0:17:05.960 --> 0:17:09.639 I also had some trauma happen. My sister passed away, 0:17:10.080 --> 0:17:12.120 so it wasn't all love and roses at the end, 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:14.959 Like I had to deal with grief and I then 0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:18.439 had to tell my sister's story and that was also 0:17:18.600 --> 0:17:19.680 very heartbreaking for me. 0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:21.320 Huh. 0:17:22.359 --> 0:17:24.600 You know, like, I think you just touched on something 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.520 that is our experience to a t. We have amazing 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:29.240 moments in our lives and I'm sure all of us do. 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:32.800 And where you have these pinnacle moments, maybe it's in cream, 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:36.520 maybe it's in personal life, but then it's always met 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:39.960 with like in our experience, it can I feel like 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:41.920 when you're on your highest it can always be met 0:17:41.920 --> 0:17:45.199 with a moment that brings you down, you know, a 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:46.280 sad moment in your life. 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:47.159 And that's what you know. 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:49.639 You just had completed this incredible show and on the 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:51.880 last few days of filming, your sister passes away. 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:55.320 You know, it's Yeah, it was inspiring in a weird 0:17:55.359 --> 0:17:57.080 way though, like because. 0:17:58.840 --> 0:17:59.520 I felt like. 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:05.080 My sister, yeah, didn't get to live her like childhood 0:18:05.200 --> 0:18:08.240 or life, and I feel like that's also seeing her 0:18:08.280 --> 0:18:11.800 grow up was what led me into youth work, and 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:16.200 I wanted to show young people, I guess, the life 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:19.480 that they can have, full of an abundance of love, 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:24.439 community and happiness and black joy and fun. And I 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:28.080 guess like my sister sort of inspires that story in 0:18:28.119 --> 0:18:31.400 so many ways, because I guess overnight when I went 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:35.480 on the show on the Bachelor and then Bachelorette, I 0:18:35.520 --> 0:18:38.240 became all of a sudden, like an instant role model, 0:18:38.400 --> 0:18:42.040 I guess, But I didn't have those role models growing up, 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.800 so I kind of had to like mimic or try 0:18:45.840 --> 0:18:50.479 and be what I needed when I was younger. And 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:53.119 so for me, that was about being honest where I 0:18:53.160 --> 0:18:56.639 came from being really proud of who I was, using 0:18:56.680 --> 0:19:01.399 my story as power, using my vulnerability. I am the 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:04.840 most like siokiest person ever, Like I will cry. 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:06.400 One of us has emotions. 0:19:07.760 --> 0:19:09.480 He has emotions he just hides. 0:19:09.640 --> 0:19:13.199 Late will be in an episode of the podcast and 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:15.080 she'll see me starting to get emotional and she's like, 0:19:15.200 --> 0:19:17.960 let it come. 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:19.080 I welcome, move it on. 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.919 But like I have, I thought I had a lot 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:25.160 of shame around that. I held a lot of shame 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:29.840 about how sensitive I was and how much attachment I 0:19:29.920 --> 0:19:32.160 had to things. But I think it's a really beautiful 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:34.480 thing now, Like I feel like I embrace it and 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:37.159 I love it. I'll cry at anything, but I'm like, whatever, 0:19:37.720 --> 0:19:39.640 it's just tears. 0:19:39.720 --> 0:19:43.200 Like, I think vulnerability is actually a superpower of yours. 0:19:43.200 --> 0:19:47.719