Speaker 1: Hi, and welcome back to Bounce Forward with me Tip Paul.
Speaker 1: I'd like to acknowledge your traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: on which I'm recording this podcast, the Warundry people of
Speaker 1: the Cooler Nation. I pay my respects to elders past
Speaker 1: and present. Rachel Corbett is the Head of Podcasts and
Speaker 1: Digital Content at Nova Entertainment, which means, by extension, she
Speaker 1: is my boss and head of the podcast Bounce Forward.
Speaker 1: Rachel is also a regular panelist on the project on
Speaker 1: Channel ten and you'll mostly see her on Sunday nights,
Speaker 1: but she also has her own podcasting school called pod School.
Speaker 2: She's also a mom to.
Speaker 1: A beautiful baby girl, Olivia, which is the main reason
Speaker 1: we have her on the show today. Rachel, welcome to
Speaker 1: Bounce Forward. Thank you so much for being here. I'm
Speaker 1: very excited to speak to you now. You have a
Speaker 1: little one, Olivia, gorgeous Olivia who is turning two in March.
Speaker 2: Terrible too, because I've got a two year old.
Speaker 1: Is she exhibiting anything like that at the moment she
Speaker 1: is starting to? For sure, she's actually quite I feel
Speaker 1: very lucky because she's quite easy to kind of bring
Speaker 1: back from the brink. She's not one of those kids
Speaker 1: that like settles into a tantrument and is in like
Speaker 1: I'm in this until like I'm over it. But I
Speaker 1: do sometimes still see glimmers of that toddler thing, Like
Speaker 1: she's started to drink milk out of a cup and
Speaker 1: I tell her not to tip it, and the other
Speaker 1: day she just said to me, don't tip it, and
Speaker 1: look straight at me, and then just tipped it. And
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, you know what you do in
Speaker 1: your little old piece of work, that's it.
Speaker 2: That's it.
Speaker 1: My daughter's toilet training at the moment, and she's decided
Speaker 1: to pee standing up now, and I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: her to sit down on the toilet and pee, but
Speaker 1: she's like, no, I'm going to stand up and do
Speaker 1: it and pee on you and the floor.
Speaker 2: Oh, she just doesn't to spite me. I don't know
Speaker 2: what to do.
Speaker 1: But anyway, I wanted to ask you, because you decided
Speaker 1: to have a Libya as a single mom through IVF,
Speaker 1: can you talk to me about.
Speaker 2: Your decision to be a solo mum.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny because I kind of always thought I
Speaker 1: would be, even when I was in relationships and I
Speaker 1: had one relationship that got pretty close to the marriage
Speaker 1: and kids things, and we certainly thought it was going
Speaker 1: to go down that path. And I remember thinking that
Speaker 1: I was so on board for that path because I
Speaker 1: was really, you know, I love that person.
Speaker 2: But in the back of my mind, I remember.
Speaker 1: Thinking to myself, this is so funny that I'm maybe
Speaker 1: going to marry this person because I really thought I
Speaker 1: was going to be a solo mum. And so when
Speaker 1: we ended up not going forward with that relationship and
Speaker 1: then I walked this path, I sort of remember thinking
Speaker 1: to myself, is it just that I knew myself so
Speaker 1: well that I knew I would kind of want to.
Speaker 3: Do this, or did I actually will this into being?
Speaker 1: Because I was saying that so much to myself internally,
Speaker 1: And I'm not really sure which path that was, but
Speaker 1: it has just always been something that I thought would
Speaker 1: suit me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And did you always want to be a mom?
Speaker 2: Did you always know that? Because I didn't. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I wasn't like sold on the idea, especially when I
Speaker 1: was like training people on tally and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: I thought, no, I don't think it's for me. I
Speaker 1: didn't have pets, I didn't have anything, and I changed
Speaker 1: my tune.
Speaker 2: But you always wanted to be a mom?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Always? I just ever since I was young.
Speaker 1: I can remember, you know, Christmases weren't a fantastic time
Speaker 1: for me post like you know, divorce here. I was
Speaker 1: a kid of divorce, and I just remember even back
Speaker 1: then thinking, when I have my own family, I'm going
Speaker 1: to make this a really special time. And so it
Speaker 1: was just always kind of sat with me that I
Speaker 1: do want to be a mum. I always felt like
Speaker 1: I think I would be good at this. But then
Speaker 1: I didn't have Olivia until I was forty two, and
Speaker 1: until I got to that point, I was not ready.
Speaker 1: And I was actually thinking to myself, you know, when
Speaker 1: I'm getting thirty nine, forty forty one, I'm like, am
Speaker 1: I ever going to clock into this kind of mode
Speaker 1: of like, Okay, I'm ready to step forward because I
Speaker 1: know fundamentally I want to be a mum, but I
Speaker 1: just can't get myself into the mode to actually do it.
Speaker 1: And I think when you're doing it by yourself, that
Speaker 1: is a much bigger decision, right because you're not looking
Speaker 1: at somebody else going you know what will work it out?
Speaker 1: You're thinking, Okay, well, I got to finance everything, I
Speaker 1: got to look after this kid on my own. So
Speaker 1: it's a lot of mental preparation. But I was really
Speaker 1: surprised that it took me that long to actually get
Speaker 1: to the point where I was like, Okay, I'm going
Speaker 1: to do this because I had known for so long
Speaker 1: that it was something I wanted to do. And once
Speaker 1: you got there, what was the reaction like from your
Speaker 1: friends and family that you're going to do this solo?
Speaker 3: Friends were so this is so on brand for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, probably the least surprising thing.
Speaker 2: We've ever heard, that you're going to have a baby.
Speaker 1: On your own, because it's just exactly the kind of
Speaker 1: thing that you would do. So everybody in my life
Speaker 1: that knew me was very supportive because it was so unsurprising.
Speaker 1: But I think other people outside that you kind of
Speaker 1: met and you tell this too, there is still a
Speaker 1: bit of a.
Speaker 2: Reaction that.
Speaker 1: It feels when somebody says to you, oh, you know,
Speaker 1: you're having a baby, and they'll ask you a question
Speaker 1: like who's the father or you know, have you guys
Speaker 1: been thinking about this for a long time and you so,
Speaker 1: actually I did it by myself. Often you'll get this
Speaker 1: response from someone where they look like, oh god, I
Speaker 1: shouldn't have asked that, like oh, you know, like they
Speaker 1: feel like it's something you're embarrassed to talk about, and
Speaker 1: so I would feel like I would always have to
Speaker 1: preempt before I talk to people about it, Like, I'm
Speaker 1: fine with this.
Speaker 2: It was my decision.
Speaker 1: I'm a solo mum, because a lot of times people
Speaker 1: assume it's a path that you took because you couldn't.
Speaker 1: You tried the other path and it didn't work for you,
Speaker 1: and now you're just stuck with the consolation prize, you know,
Speaker 1: And that just was never my approach. Yeah, and can
Speaker 1: you talk to me a little bit about the IVF
Speaker 1: process and what was that like for you personally?
Speaker 2: It was?
Speaker 1: I mean I kind of I kind of enjoyed it
Speaker 1: from a control freak perspective.
Speaker 2: I've never heard that before.
Speaker 1: Nothing's left to chance, right, So you think a lot
Speaker 1: of the time when you're having a baby with a
Speaker 1: partner and you're like, is it gonna work? Did it
Speaker 1: catch right? Do the bit of you of me? Are
Speaker 1: they genetically going to mean that this is going to
Speaker 1: go to full term? Like there's so much and there's
Speaker 1: still so much chance in the IVF process, but ultimately
Speaker 1: they're like getting.
Speaker 3: The best sperm and the best.
Speaker 1: Day, you know, and they're pulling it together and then
Speaker 1: they're saying, Okay, here's the best looking embryo, so this
Speaker 1: is the highest chance of this being So that whole
Speaker 1: process for me, I loved it because I'm like, great, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's go with the best embryo and let's do that
Speaker 1: and then whatever happens after that, like we've tried our best,
Speaker 1: haven't we, you know. So yeah, so I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: I liked it. And I had gone through the process
Speaker 1: of freezing my eggs twice during my thirties, so I
Speaker 1: had kind of done the bit before the actual implantation
Speaker 1: a couple of times, so I'd done all the injections,
Speaker 1: I'd done all that stuff, so I kind of had
Speaker 1: time to get used to it and get through that,
Speaker 1: because that can be a bit daunting the first time
Speaker 1: that you do it. But yeah, so by the time
Speaker 1: I did that, it was kind of my third crack
Speaker 1: at that and then I, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Sort of liked it.
Speaker 3: Is that weird to say, Yeah, No, it's not weird,
Speaker 3: it's just.
Speaker 2: Different, And I love it.
Speaker 1: I think that's amazing, Like, yeah, it felt like I
Speaker 1: had science on my side.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, which I was really.
Speaker 3: Grateful for because I didn't have anybody else.
Speaker 1: And so when it came to have Olivia, what were
Speaker 1: the things that you wanted to prepare for? Like, there's
Speaker 1: you know, you're working, you're incredibly successful, you're working, you're juggling,
Speaker 1: you know, you're doing this on your own.
Speaker 2: What did you prepare? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I felt like that was probably why it took me
Speaker 1: so long to get to the point where I was ready.
Speaker 2: And people always.
Speaker 1: Say to you never really read, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: think it can be, Like I really do think you
Speaker 1: can know yourself well enough to be at a point
Speaker 1: where you like, I'm ready to tackle this. Can you
Speaker 1: be prepared for it?
Speaker 2: Nah?
Speaker 3: Can you be good at it?
Speaker 1: Maybe like you don't know that until you actually get
Speaker 1: to it, But can you be ready in your own mind?
Speaker 3: Of course you can, you know. So I wanted to click.
Speaker 1: Into that mode, and those things were really important to
Speaker 1: me career. For a long time, I did not feel
Speaker 1: established enough in my career to take a break, and
Speaker 1: it took me a long time to get to that
Speaker 1: point until I felt like, Okay, I have got the
Speaker 1: roots down enough that I feel like if I went
Speaker 1: off for a while, I can come back and I'm
Speaker 1: not going to lose my place or whatever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a.
Speaker 1: Big thing for me because career work, that is a
Speaker 1: huge part of my identity. My sort of happiness comes
Speaker 1: from feeling useful. That's what I love. I love to
Speaker 1: be useful, and so that for me is about work.
Speaker 1: I love to work, and so it was very important
Speaker 1: to me that I felt that that was not something
Speaker 1: that I would have to worry about while I was away.
Speaker 2: The other thing was finances.
Speaker 1: I just didn't feel comfortable financially until this point where
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, I can do this by myself.
Speaker 1: So you know, that meant saving money so that I
Speaker 1: could get help on the other side. Because I didn't
Speaker 1: have family, I didn't have anybody to rely on, so
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to have to hire people
Speaker 1: to get help on the other side. So that was
Speaker 1: a really important thing too. And then just mentally for me,
Speaker 1: I wanted to make sure that I felt this is
Speaker 1: the right time for me, you know, because I knew
Speaker 1: if I had done it at any earlier than getting
Speaker 1: to that point. I didn't want the fear that oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, because once it's emotion, I ain't no durnamag no,
Speaker 1: that kid's coming one way other. So I wanted to
Speaker 1: be excited about that and looking forward to it. And
Speaker 1: so it was really about that mental preparation for me
Speaker 1: to make sure that that's the way that I felt. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so let's talk about the birth. What was that experience
Speaker 1: like for you?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: It was again pretty good, it was.
Speaker 1: I mean, I had I tried to go down the
Speaker 1: natural Are you.
Speaker 2: Allowed to say natural?
Speaker 1: I feel like whenever I would say natural, nobody's natural natural? Right, Yes,
Speaker 1: So I was going to I was hopeful to go
Speaker 1: down that road, and I just wanted to like go
Speaker 1: into labor naturally.
Speaker 3: So I thought, I'll give this a try. Now I went.
Speaker 1: You know, I had an obstetrician who you realize as
Speaker 1: you get closer to the date, is really keen to
Speaker 1: book you in the calendar, so really wants you to
Speaker 1: a C section, yeah, because they're not really interested in
Speaker 1: you just going into labor when it happens, you know,
Speaker 1: because they don't want to get the call up at
Speaker 1: three am. So I did feel quite a lot of
Speaker 1: pressure at the end, which I really did not like,
Speaker 1: and I couldn't really I felt like I couldn't really
Speaker 1: assert myself because I didn't have any knowledge. This was
Speaker 1: the first time I was doing it. I didn't know
Speaker 1: is it okay to assert myself? Like unreasonable that I
Speaker 1: would want to try and go into labor like naturally.
Speaker 1: So I think that time is quite difficult, because I
Speaker 1: do think there is a lot of pressure for women
Speaker 1: to do that. So I tried, and I said, I
Speaker 1: said to my obstitution, look, if if i'm please just
Speaker 1: give me forty weeks and I'd like to go a
Speaker 1: week past. If I'm at forty one weeks and she's
Speaker 1: still not out, well okay, then she doesn't need to
Speaker 1: be cooking anymore. Like she's cooked long enough, it's fine.
Speaker 1: You can induce me. We can go that way. And
Speaker 1: that's what ended up happening actually, And so once I
Speaker 1: got to that point, I was probably a couple of
Speaker 1: days out from forty one weeks, and at that stage
Speaker 1: I was actually like, now, I think I do want
Speaker 1: to just go in at a time that's booked, and
Speaker 1: because I don't want my waters to break or however,
Speaker 1: this happens in the middle of Coal's like, now you're.
Speaker 2: Just getting scarket or something.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It just felt so uncertain.
Speaker 1: So they I did have to get induced and then
Speaker 1: I you know, went through the process, I like, you know,
Speaker 1: doing the contractions and things.
Speaker 3: And god, I was I've got a massive pain threshold.
Speaker 1: And so I thought to myself, I know this isn't
Speaker 1: going to be easy, but I can deal with a
Speaker 1: lot of pain, so I will, you know, I think
Speaker 1: I'll be able to grin it, like grit through it
Speaker 1: for a bit. I mean, in what world it is
Speaker 1: so bad?
Speaker 2: It's so bad.
Speaker 3: It's so bad.
Speaker 1: And I was kind of probably two hours in and
Speaker 1: I've got this photo of me on the bloody bouncy ball,
Speaker 1: you know, where a giving you out. I'm like, what
Speaker 1: is this doing nothing but making me look like an idiot?
Speaker 1: This is not holding me at all. And the nurse
Speaker 1: said to me, you know, are you going to get
Speaker 1: an epidural? I said yes, And she's like, okay, well
Speaker 1: do you want it now?
Speaker 2: Do you want it later?
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh well, I'll just you know,
Speaker 1: push through until I feel bad. She's like, how are
Speaker 1: you feeling right now? I'm like pretty bad. She's like, well,
Speaker 1: is there any point in waiting. I was like not really, like,
Speaker 1: let's do it. And from that point on, I mean,
Speaker 1: I just had the best time.
Speaker 2: Me and my best mate were in the room.
Speaker 1: I couldn't feel a thing. I kept saying the doctors,
Speaker 1: am I doing anything? And They're like, yeah, your body's
Speaker 1: running a marathon right now. I was like, I'm watching
Speaker 1: maths and eating takeout, like yeah, it's just nuts. I
Speaker 1: loved it so that that was really important for me,
Speaker 1: purely because I knew I was on my own on
Speaker 1: the other side, and I wanted to get as much
Speaker 1: rest for my body as I want to be a
Speaker 1: cat could exactly, and I didn't want to push through
Speaker 1: and be brought you know, pushing, pushing, pushing, and then
Speaker 1: next thing you know, I've got to get up and
Speaker 1: I've got no one to hand this kid off to.
Speaker 1: I was just like, I want to be as rested
Speaker 1: as I possibly can, because I know I'm going to
Speaker 1: be exhausted to be here with on the other side.
Speaker 2: So I was really really glad about that.
Speaker 1: And then you know, we waited, waited, waite, and it
Speaker 1: was about twelve hours on the drip she wasn't coming
Speaker 1: any further down the pipe.
Speaker 2: It was kind of nine point thirty at night.
Speaker 1: They were like, we can keep you going to see
Speaker 1: if you're dilated anymore, because I hadn't really dilated very much.
Speaker 2: And I was like, what are we waiting for.
Speaker 1: Let's just get this kid out, you know, like if
Speaker 1: she's not coming down by herself, she's happy as Larry
Speaker 1: in there.
Speaker 2: So then I ended up getting a C section and
Speaker 2: out she popped. Wow.
Speaker 1: And so I'm really interested on this podcast talking about
Speaker 1: the juggle because you know, everyone looks at someone else
Speaker 1: and thinks, oh, they've got it so easy. They're managing
Speaker 1: you know, mum life and work and everything and Instagram.
Speaker 1: It's just so all the highlights and glimmers and none
Speaker 1: of the triggers. And so I wanted to talk to
Speaker 1: you about the juggle and how you cope with work
Speaker 1: and mumlife.
Speaker 2: Like how does it work for you? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: it is hard.
Speaker 1: I am traditionally a person who puts too much on
Speaker 1: their plate anyway, so I'm not one of those people
Speaker 1: who sits on the couch all the time. And now
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I had so much time
Speaker 1: to myself before, what am I doing.
Speaker 2: I'm like, this was kind of like a version of
Speaker 2: my life before.
Speaker 1: I've always been too busy, you know, because I like
Speaker 1: to do a lot of stuff. So I guess in
Speaker 1: some ways that did prepare me. I'm good at juggling
Speaker 1: lots of things, but it is I think it's probably
Speaker 1: the relentlessness of the parenting side is quite difficult. So
Speaker 1: I went back to work at four months. I was
Speaker 1: ready read to go back at that point, like that
Speaker 1: wasn't too early for me, but also financially, you know,
Speaker 1: I couldn't stay much longer than that, so that was
Speaker 1: a thing.
Speaker 2: But I was very happy to go back.
Speaker 1: But then I've I've always had like I had Nanni's
Speaker 1: in the early days, which is just so expensive. Oh
Speaker 1: you know, and when you say you've got a nanny,
Speaker 1: people are like, oh, isn't somebody doing well for themselves?
Speaker 1: My income is not matching my expenses, mate, especially if
Speaker 1: you've got nanny agencies, And oh my totally, it's so expensive.
Speaker 3: So I've just needed a lot of help.
Speaker 1: And I think where I've found it hard and where
Speaker 1: I've kind of for me in the future is something
Speaker 1: that I'm going to try and look into is that
Speaker 1: at the moment, the only break I have from parenting
Speaker 1: is to go to work. So the only time I
Speaker 1: take to hand my kids to somebody else is to
Speaker 1: go and do another job. And I'm conscious that that's
Speaker 1: not sustainable, Like I can't get to a point where
Speaker 1: I'm only handing my child away if I'm going to
Speaker 1: like do something else for somebody else. Like, there's got
Speaker 1: to be a point at which I have a day
Speaker 1: where I'm like, you know what, I'm just going to
Speaker 1: have a me day. So at the moment, I don't
Speaker 1: have any of that in my week, and that is
Speaker 1: I can see and feel, not a sustainable thing for me.
Speaker 2: So that's something that I am really mindful of.
Speaker 1: But honestly, like actually going and doing work for me
Speaker 1: is a break. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love going to work. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2: It is so much easy.
Speaker 1: I have so much respect for people who stay at
Speaker 1: home parent. I don't know how you do it. I
Speaker 1: do not know how you do it. I would absolutely.
Speaker 2: Lose my mind.
Speaker 1: I would just not be a good parent because you
Speaker 1: hit that threshold at which you're like, I actually can't
Speaker 1: handle this anymore. And when you have nowhere to tap out,
Speaker 1: and like, you know, I can't kind of get to
Speaker 1: five o'clock and somebody comes home and is like, can
Speaker 1: you take the baby because I just need to go
Speaker 1: for a walk around the block. So for me, that
Speaker 1: tap out is going and talking to adults, doing things
Speaker 1: and using my brain and that kind of stuff. So
Speaker 1: that is really important for me. So sometimes it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like a juggle because it does feel like a break.
Speaker 2: Parenting is hard. It's so hard.
Speaker 1: So I'm just going to leave the chat there with
Speaker 1: Rachel and come back with part two next time. Thanks
Speaker 1: so much for listening to Bounce Forward. I love having
Speaker 1: your company, So dm me on Instagram at tiphole underscore
Speaker 1: XO and let me know what topics you'd love me
Speaker 1: to cover. Don't forget to rate and review me on
Speaker 1: your podcast out Speak soon.
Speaker 2: Happy Days,