WEBVTT - I WILL make you pay

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<v Speaker 1>Apogae production, Welcome back to another episode, And.

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<v Speaker 2>Am I a mad mom podcast? It is the question

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<v Speaker 2>we constantly ask. The content never runs out, No, it doesn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm actually in a situation at the moment where I

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<v Speaker 2>had to have a chat with my girls about the

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<v Speaker 2>fact that I don't hear anything from them, like, oh God.

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<v Speaker 3>How is your day? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, good, Like there's nothing to tell me until ten pm,

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<v Speaker 2>and then at ten pm they want to tell me

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<v Speaker 2>everything about the whole day, about who's done. What I

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<v Speaker 2>said to HollyHood day, I was like, Okay, how is

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<v Speaker 2>your day? Talk to me, tell me what's going on,

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<v Speaker 2>how are you feeling? And she went fine, why And

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<v Speaker 2>I won't because I don't want you to keep coming

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<v Speaker 2>in at ten pm and then telling me everything when

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<v Speaker 2>I just want to finish off show i'm watching and

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<v Speaker 2>go to bed. I don't want that to be the

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<v Speaker 2>time to talk. And it made me feel bad because

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, I'm not telling you, I don't want

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<v Speaker 2>to talk to you. Yeah, I just don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>hear it all late at night.

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<v Speaker 3>I've said this before too. Is that bandwidth? Like every

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<v Speaker 3>one of us human being has definitely got different bandwidths.

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<v Speaker 3>Like I think my bandwidth it sort of runs out

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<v Speaker 3>about eight pm. And it's just interesting how they feel

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<v Speaker 3>comfortable after being home probably from what four pm? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>and they've just built the confidence to talk to you

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<v Speaker 3>at ten pm. That is so much time in between.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I think it's also because they have their devices,

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<v Speaker 2>phones or whatever, and then they have to give it back,

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<v Speaker 2>give it back, and so then it's like we've got

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<v Speaker 2>something else as I'll talk to you. Am I a

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<v Speaker 2>bad mum for making them pay?

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<v Speaker 3>The question is for what? Because right now you're got

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<v Speaker 3>some big things coming up for what they're paying for.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so like not moving out.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not saying you're saying, oh move out now, Like

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<v Speaker 3>that's not what you're saying that but.

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<v Speaker 2>Forty years Yeah, So my girls are at the stage.

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<v Speaker 2>We've talked about how they love going to concerts. Billie

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<v Speaker 2>Eilish was a big thing. They saved up money. They

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<v Speaker 2>bought three tickets to the same show. But then they

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<v Speaker 2>also wanted to get merch that's like exclusively only sold

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<v Speaker 2>at the concert, or there's like limited edition or things

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<v Speaker 2>like that. Anyway, we ended up lending the girls some

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<v Speaker 2>money and I said, don't worry about paying us back

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<v Speaker 2>until after the concerts and everything's been done, and then

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<v Speaker 2>I want a plan to how you're going to pay

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<v Speaker 2>us back. It's about two hundred dollars each.

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<v Speaker 3>Yep.

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<v Speaker 2>So now they're saving, yeah, because they want to get

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<v Speaker 2>a car.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah that was yeah, that was what I thought you

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<v Speaker 3>were talking about.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they're also saving to go to Billie Eilish in

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<v Speaker 2>London in July. I was like, that's not happening. No,

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<v Speaker 2>you're not saving that much money to go fly to London, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>in July. And then it's that whole battle rage of going.

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<v Speaker 2>They've put together a plan of how they're going to

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<v Speaker 2>make money, how much money they need per I think

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<v Speaker 2>it's twenty five dollars per day they need to make

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<v Speaker 2>or something done, a list of how they're going to

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<v Speaker 2>make the money. Obviously they've got jobs at macas. They've

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<v Speaker 2>also put like babysitting and like a whole bunch of

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<v Speaker 2>things on this list. Like they've pulled together a very

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<v Speaker 2>well thought out plan. Now, as a parent, I've got

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<v Speaker 2>this battle of going, do I shoot their dreams down

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<v Speaker 2>and just go that's not happening, You're never gonna make it,

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<v Speaker 2>Or do I allow them to.

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<v Speaker 3>Well whenever they're in anticipating that they're going to Number

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<v Speaker 3>one is the reality. I love that. I love the

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<v Speaker 3>whole thing that they've gone to the extreme of the

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<v Speaker 3>reality of it is that if you were wanting to

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<v Speaker 3>be able to how are you're going to afford to

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<v Speaker 3>pay for the airfare which you'd probably want to be

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<v Speaker 3>booking somewhat soon for July. How are you going to

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<v Speaker 3>be paying for that? Straight up?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Well, they've got this plan. They've got the plan,

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<v Speaker 2>and the plan makes sense. I still think if you

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<v Speaker 2>said to me, do you want to go to Europe

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<v Speaker 2>in July, I'd be like, no, I'm not going to

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<v Speaker 2>be able to have enough money to go to Europe.

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<v Speaker 2>It's that fine line of going do I encourage them.

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<v Speaker 3>To reach for the stoach for the stars or.

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<v Speaker 2>Do I shut it down and go no, that's never

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<v Speaker 2>going to happen.

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<v Speaker 3>I think the worst case scenario would be let them

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<v Speaker 3>reach for the stars when they get to July. Let's

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<v Speaker 3>just say July twenty, when Billy is playing in and

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<v Speaker 3>they're not there, they'll have a heap of money saved

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<v Speaker 3>up to go straight into the car account.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and the other thing rach is. And this is

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<v Speaker 2>the whole Am I a bad mum for making them pay?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that I'm standing my ground with the money that

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<v Speaker 2>they owe us. Absolutely, And the reason I'm doing it

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<v Speaker 2>is because I'm like, it's so important to take responsibility

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<v Speaker 2>over your debt. You need a way to pay that

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<v Speaker 2>back first. So when they say to me, Mum, can

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<v Speaker 2>I do some jobs? And Jay will go, yeah, you

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<v Speaker 2>need clean up the yard or whatever, and it's worth

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<v Speaker 2>this much money, I'm like, but don't forget that needs

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<v Speaker 2>to come back to us because that's what you owe.

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<v Speaker 2>And then afterwards then you're you're saying all right, But

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<v Speaker 2>then it makes me.

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<v Speaker 3>Now because you're not teaching them any life lessons. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>because when someone later on in life is like, no,

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<v Speaker 3>you still owe me two hundred dollars for rent and

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<v Speaker 3>they go, can I just do some jobs around the

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<v Speaker 3>house for You're like, no, unfortunately, no, I just need

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<v Speaker 3>the cash.

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<v Speaker 2>And understand could go don't worry about it, don't worry

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<v Speaker 2>about paying us back. You just save your money. But

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<v Speaker 2>then I'm like, no, that's teaching them nothing.

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<v Speaker 3>No, well who was doing that for you at their age?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>And also you know, you run up a bill on

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<v Speaker 2>your credit card.

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<v Speaker 3>You're not say it's okay.

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<v Speaker 2>The credit card companies are saying, don't worry about paying

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<v Speaker 2>you back, don't wry about it. You know you want

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<v Speaker 2>to go to Billy. I want to do that instead.

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<v Speaker 3>My thing is like, who going to Billie Eilish with

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<v Speaker 3>them in London? Like you or Jay? Because they can't

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<v Speaker 3>technically fly over by themselves.

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<v Speaker 2>I haven't even factored that in.

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<v Speaker 3>So then for you that's another cost. Yeah, and you

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<v Speaker 3>haven't booked your tiki yet and it's nearly April, so

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<v Speaker 3>no intention. Yeah, I mean technically they're sixteen, so no,

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<v Speaker 3>I mean even kids. I don't know that they can

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<v Speaker 3>fly internationally without approval, not from sixteen.

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<v Speaker 2>But you can send kids unaccompanied.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, but you've got to have approval through that all right?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Actually yeah, because I remember, just let.

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<v Speaker 3>Them go unaccompanied to London. That is a tough question.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, right now, my part would go, oh, absolutely not.

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<v Speaker 2>The only good thing for me is that I've got

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of family over in London.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Yeah, and you trust that they would get off

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<v Speaker 3>the aircraft and then transit into the next aircraft okay

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<v Speaker 3>before going Like so they're in Dubai. Let's just say

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<v Speaker 3>they're in Dubai. They've got fourteen hours in Dubai between flights.

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<v Speaker 2>Like, no, you're cool with that? No?

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<v Speaker 3>No, I was like no Singapore, Like oh, they're just

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<v Speaker 3>transitting through Singapore and you're like okay, cool, So what

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<v Speaker 3>did you do in Singapore for like eight hours?

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<v Speaker 2>What if they don't get on the flight because they

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<v Speaker 2>don't know where to go? I don't know where to

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<v Speaker 2>go when I stop over having to ask people and

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<v Speaker 2>be like where do I need to go?

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<v Speaker 3>What? Time?

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<v Speaker 2>Like checking the poor. In my mind, it was like, okay,

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<v Speaker 2>get on at Brisbane, we're here, get off at London. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>family member picks them up. Yeah, my cousin works that

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<v Speaker 2>he throw he's already there.

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<v Speaker 3>That's a long way. You understand. This is not Brisboo Sydney.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a big job. So one of you are going.

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<v Speaker 3>So that's another expense for you just to come up.

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<v Speaker 3>I just want to bring that up because I don't

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<v Speaker 3>think your brain had gone there yet.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to go.

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<v Speaker 3>And what will they do when they get to London?

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<v Speaker 3>Are they going to expect to be in that line

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<v Speaker 3>up again? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>They want to camp, camp.

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<v Speaker 3>Get married, Oh my gosh, that's so yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>No, don't don't know how this has turned into everyone

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<v Speaker 2>going on a big trip to London in July.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, you are. We're going to see Billy alish you

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<v Speaker 3>in London. You're going