1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: This is the fitsy and with her with Kate Richie podcast, 2 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,120 Speaker 1: we hit a topic that's got a hell of a 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:05,720 Speaker 1: lot of reaction. 4 00:00:05,840 --> 00:00:06,120 Speaker 2: Guys. 5 00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: It was a sensitive one. 6 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,160 Speaker 3: Have a listened to this directly after birth? My four 7 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 3: year old told me that Daddy and Funny were in bed. 8 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,440 Speaker 4: So this is in the hospital. 9 00:00:15,640 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I just delivered and my four year old come 10 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,080 Speaker 3: to meet her new sister and she said, is this 11 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 3: mummy's baby or summy's baby? 12 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: Did you suspected prior to this? 13 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 3: Well, they're sort of related. 14 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 1: How close to the birth did you find out that 15 00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 1: they were cheating? 16 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,479 Speaker 4: We did not expect to get a call like that, 17 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 4: and it was so good. I even told that story 18 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,400 Speaker 4: in my real life to people over the weekend, Like. 19 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: You have real life out of this studio. 20 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 4: Yeah, I know. I mean it's certainly not as happy 21 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 4: or as fulfilling as the one I have in here. 22 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,440 Speaker 1: No, the comments on social media through the roof, I 23 00:00:58,480 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 1: need to know more. Tell me more in thirty two. 24 00:01:00,480 --> 00:01:02,280 Speaker 1: If you've got a story you want to share, so 25 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:05,560 Speaker 1: many more other people. This had happened to Kate Richie. 26 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,319 Speaker 1: How listened to this after I just got into the 27 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: delivery unit at the hospital to sleep. His phone started 28 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,119 Speaker 1: to ring and it was his picture with the other 29 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: girl that he was also in a relationship, and she 30 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,959 Speaker 1: was pregnant by him. Obviously, our relationship ended. Then I 31 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 1: found out that he'd cheated on the other girl, and 32 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:28,880 Speaker 1: then on another one as well that was pregnant. Ah, 33 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: what about this one? It's just from Gemini. A great 34 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,400 Speaker 1: star sign, by the way, isn't it. A year after 35 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: surviving and earthquake, nine months of pregnancy in a foreign 36 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 1: country where we were living. My husband put me into 37 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:46,160 Speaker 1: hospital citing stress. And while I was in hospital and 38 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: working out, he was working out how to move his 39 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: girlfriend into the house. When I came home, her clothes 40 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,920 Speaker 1: were in the cupboard and a lot more things were happening. 41 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: But yeah, my god, I was in hospital while my 42 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: partner was out impregnating his ex wife. 43 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 5: It's the sad child there's been a child has been 44 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,799 Speaker 5: brought into this world, and unfortunately it's not off to 45 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:10,519 Speaker 5: a good start. 46 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:13,000 Speaker 1: But he kept the secret in the family member until 47 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: he accidentally let slip that she was pregnant. He was 48 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: only sorry he got caught. 49 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:21,919 Speaker 6: Yeah, to have those thoughts, it's it is just blows 50 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 6: my mind. But you can have those thoughts where whilst 51 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,040 Speaker 6: your partner is in hospital. 52 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 4: It must just be the wiring. 53 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,920 Speaker 1: While I was delivering his son, he was moving in 54 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:37,399 Speaker 1: with his girlfriend. A man to think that some guy 55 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: would see the opportunity and go, she's out of the house. 56 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: Now I can shift a few things around. 57 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 4: Ah, the moving the girlfriend's stuff in while you're in 58 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 4: hospital and then coming home to see somebody else's trinkets 59 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 4: on the side. 60 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: It happened to me just as I was being allocated 61 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,160 Speaker 1: a room in hospital, and minutes before I started pushing, 62 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 1: I found out, Oh my god. 63 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 5: That it's not you know what this mean, that you 64 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 5: could you could level your anger and your pain, I 65 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 5: suppose into getting that baby out its frustration. 66 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:11,799 Speaker 2: God. 67 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 1: Even Lisa's mum jumped on here. Just awful, Deborah, right, thanks, Deborah. 68 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,240 Speaker 1: Do you know what I don't know? Dave's having a 69 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: can on the couch? 70 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:24,320 Speaker 4: Did Lisa's mum really comments? 71 00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 1: Just awful with a like a furious blood red face. 72 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: You know, we were talking about this because the prime 73 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: ages or most likely ages to cheat came up, and 74 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: one of them was around twenty nine, and that was 75 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 1: around the time when a first baby is being born 76 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: and the guy can feel left out, and therefore cheating 77 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: stats were high around that time, and we couldn't believe 78 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,880 Speaker 1: We've got to call on it, and then look at 79 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: all these other comments. It's hal Mary, but love to 80 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,000 Speaker 1: know if you've got a story here, how close to 81 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: the birth did you find out they were cheating? Vanessa 82 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: in North Caliville, Ness, what happened to you? 83 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 2: Welln't to me. I had a girlfriend of mine who 84 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 2: was married with one child with her husband, and then 85 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 2: right after she gave birth to their second child, he 86 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 2: told her that he'd been cheating on her and was 87 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 2: leaving her for the daycare worker that he'd been having 88 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 2: an affair with. And he didn't want to tell her 89 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 2: until after the birth because he didn't want to not 90 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 2: be allowed in the delivery room. 91 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 4: Not that it might cause her stress and trauma, it 92 00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 4: was more about whether he could turn up on the day. 93 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:39,600 Speaker 5: Literally the niss. The dilemma that she has to deal 94 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 5: with there is that, Okay, I've lost him, he's a 95 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,720 Speaker 5: piece of whatever. But then she still has to go 96 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,480 Speaker 5: to the day care center with her first child to 97 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 5: see this woman. 98 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, pretty, she switched Dacre. 99 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, they're very hard to find the. 100 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: Spots in your area. My godness, thank you. 101 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 5: Oh Celia, Celia and Ramwick. Tell us about your sister, Celia. 102 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,480 Speaker 7: Oh hi guys. Yeah, look, this is a while ago, 103 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 7: but my sister met this guy and they felt pregnant together. 104 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 7: I was quite soon into the relationship, but she was, 105 00:05:18,839 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 7: you know, seemed pretty happy she had the baby. She 106 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 7: threw a party for him for his fortieth birthday. She 107 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 7: called me in absolute she is going, I can't believe it. 108 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 7: I can't believe it. I've just found out that he's 109 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 7: been in a relationship with another woman for ten years. 110 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 7: I'm his mistress. And basically, yeah, all of the mutual 111 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 7: friends came up and said, he's used you to have 112 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 7: the baby because the mistress didn't want one. 113 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 5: Oh my, so you were your sister was the mistress, 114 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 5: like she thought she was the relationship. 115 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 7: Yeah, and she had no idea. 116 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 4: Oh no, no idea, no idea. 117 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 7: No idea, no no. She met him through mutual friends, 118 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,600 Speaker 7: and you know, thought he was a Yeah. 119 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: I have said something. 120 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:09,880 Speaker 4: It was surely a mutual friend would know. 121 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 7: I think I think he was just one of those 122 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 7: guys that was really good at you know, keeping things 123 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:21,960 Speaker 7: under wrapped, very very crafty. He's still a crafty bugger 124 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 7: and they from it. 125 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:25,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. 126 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 5: The big one is so he couldn't have a child 127 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 5: with his full on relationships, so he used your sister 128 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:36,040 Speaker 5: to have the child and then thought, I can have 129 00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 5: that kid and my partner can be the mother down 130 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 5: the track like that's crazy. 131 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,719 Speaker 7: Yeah, I know, well what the woman knew about my 132 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 7: sister before she cahoo. 133 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, they were working together as a couple. 134 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 4: So you can go and do this to have a 135 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 4: child someone else. 136 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,159 Speaker 7: I don't want to give you my child. 137 00:06:57,279 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 1: Did you know who the other person was? The other woman? No? 138 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 7: I never No, No, she wouldn't want to meet me. 139 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,800 Speaker 4: No, I bet not. So what's the scenario now, how 140 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:08,760 Speaker 4: like is there you know you said this was a 141 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,320 Speaker 4: long time ago. Were they all still in contact? Is 142 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 4: he still in the child's life? 143 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:16,640 Speaker 7: Oh, look he's he's in his child's life, but not 144 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,000 Speaker 7: very actively. No, he's been a real deadbeat dad to 145 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 7: be honest. But I've got a beautiful nephew is now 146 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 7: twenty one. Gorgeous. 147 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 5: Extraordinary story is fascinating. Did he go on to have 148 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 5: children himself? 149 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: Celia and the other kids. 150 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 7: Or no, No, that was it. And he hasn't really 151 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 7: contributed anything either, which is just bizarre. Why would you 152 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 7: want a child and they're not want to contribute. He 153 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 7: hasn't helped with his schooling or about the bloodline. 154 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 4: Sometimes, you know, people get a bit weird about it all. 155 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 3: I've got it, you know. 156 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want the name to die some guy. 157 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 1: I mean, is that a clear winner for worst bloke ever? 158 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 1: Or is that. 159 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:00,760 Speaker 7: Up the list for me? 160 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:04,640 Speaker 1: Oh? My god? 161 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,520 Speaker 5: Beck in Orang Park, How close to the birth did 162 00:08:07,520 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 5: you find out? 163 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: Beck? 164 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 8: I didn't find out until my son was six weeks old, 165 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 8: but he actually nearly missed the birth because he was 166 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:20,680 Speaker 8: on the phone to her in the parking lot the hospital. 167 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: So how did you have to work it out? 168 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,480 Speaker 9: Well, it turns out that he was on the Ashley 169 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 9: Madison dating cheating website. 170 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 8: And when that. 171 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:36,320 Speaker 9: List got hacked and I didn't put into an Excel spreadsheet. 172 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 3: They hear there he was. 173 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 4: And you found out that way. 174 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,240 Speaker 8: Yeah, So I then went and did a little bit 175 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 8: of digging and a little bit of searching and in 176 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 8: the emails and the phone and yeah, there he was. 177 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,400 Speaker 1: And who was the other girl? 178 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,319 Speaker 7: Ah? 179 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,319 Speaker 8: Some girl from Canberra. 180 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:58,079 Speaker 9: So what he was doing was going and seeing her 181 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 9: under the pretensive being at work, and yeah, it wasn't 182 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 9: coming home. 183 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 4: How was this your first child? 184 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 3: It was? 185 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: It was and you broke up, did you bet? 186 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:11,320 Speaker 8: Yes? 187 00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: Yes, try and make it work or that was it? 188 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 9: On and off for a little while because stupidly Peter's 189 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:20,199 Speaker 9: getting rid of her. 190 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 8: What a terrible mistake. So we did that for. 191 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,440 Speaker 9: A few months before I was like, you know what, 192 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 9: I have enough going on. 193 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 8: I have a new boy. 194 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 4: Yes, absolutely, and that's where your energy needs to be. 195 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,520 Speaker 4: It's such a vulnerable time, though, isn't it. 196 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 1: Has he been all right? Dad beg. 197 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:37,120 Speaker 8: On and off. 198 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 9: It was rough at the start, like he's pretty good 199 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 9: with him now. Ye like to spend lots of time, 200 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 9: doesn't like to contribute a lot of money. 201 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,959 Speaker 8: But that's okay time. 202 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:51,440 Speaker 9: You know, he makes the best of the situation you've got. 203 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 1: Thank you for the story. 204 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 5: Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast great shows 205 00:09:57,559 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 5: like this. 206 00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 1: Download the Nova player, the app store or Google Play, 207 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 1: van overplayer