Speaker 1: Good morning, good afternoon or good night. You're here with
Speaker 1: me at my house for the Christy Cast live from
Speaker 1: the Compound.
Speaker 2: And this seems to me becoming a habit because guess
Speaker 2: what date it is.
Speaker 1: It's Jane Hall Day. She's fresh home from a paid
Speaker 1: holiday from London, Lucky Dog, and she's ready to talk
Speaker 1: about Instagram meanie's online shopping fails, and she's about to
Speaker 1: counsel me on my newfound pyromania obsession. Christy casters, please
Speaker 1: enjoy the perfect annunciation and glorious chestnut mane of my
Speaker 1: good buddy Jane Hall. Welcome back, my sweetheart Jane Hall.
Speaker 2: Thanks for homemie. Sorry, I've I've still got a mint
Speaker 2: in my mouth. My breath would kill a brown dog. Really, yes,
Speaker 2: I'm afraid so, so don't come any closer.
Speaker 1: Actually I'm a bit dry in the mouth. I feel
Speaker 1: like a cocky Yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: A little bit like bottom of birdcage. How have you
Speaker 2: got any glasses? M lovely? I do? This is the debut.
Speaker 2: What do you think? I think? They're like a more
Speaker 2: elegant version of your Jeffrey Darmas, aren't they? You are correct?
Speaker 2: Is that why you got them?
Speaker 1: Actually?
Speaker 2: Let me have a look, are they you? Titaniums? Believe
Speaker 2: they might be Look at you getting old posh with
Speaker 2: your lightweight material.
Speaker 1: I'm really trying, and you know this podcast is the
Speaker 1: only time that I can debut new looks.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm loving it. You look divine And I'm sorry
Speaker 2: about my mint.
Speaker 1: That's fine. I've got a little bit of a cold,
Speaker 1: but you're fine. You would have got it off the
Speaker 1: plane exactly. That just happens.
Speaker 2: That is exactly what happens. Those germy little crates in
Speaker 2: the sky.
Speaker 1: And you're back from old Blighty.
Speaker 2: Yes, I've just been to London. How was it? It
Speaker 2: was great? I went on another Luxury Escapes trip and
Speaker 2: I mean, this is the best. Sorry, but if you
Speaker 2: could dream up our job, it would be this one.
Speaker 1: Listen, I've just got to ask ye, when do you
Speaker 1: still have management and all that sort of stuff like
Speaker 1: they call you with that sort of thing?
Speaker 2: Soorry, can we just very dare you do? I? Sorry?
Speaker 2: Let's just do you think I'm that washed up? No,
Speaker 2: that no one will represent me? An, I feel like
Speaker 2: is this where we're going?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I feel like Luxury Escapes is the sort of company
Speaker 1: that goes direct to the talent. It doesn't, does it. No,
Speaker 1: I'm wrong.
Speaker 2: No, you're wrong. I still have people that are in
Speaker 2: charge of this glittering career of mine. I mean, I
Speaker 2: don't forgive me. Actually called me once every two to
Speaker 2: three months with some news of some employment.
Speaker 1: When they called your mouth out, that's not how I
Speaker 1: implied it. But I'll take that. I'm sorry, all right.
Speaker 2: Get back to the question.
Speaker 1: When your manager called you correct and said, do you
Speaker 1: have time to take a call from me? Make your
Speaker 1: lowly assistant? And they said, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: luxury escapes? Did you go giddy up? I said, who
Speaker 1: backed out?
Speaker 2: Nah? That is exactly what I said. I said, who
Speaker 2: backed out? Who can't they get? So I'm obviously on
Speaker 2: the list of replacements anyway. No, no, no, And look
Speaker 2: I'm because it's always my I always come from a
Speaker 2: place of I'm crap.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: So it turns out, no, they actually wanted me because
Speaker 2: I'm reasonably good at this sort of off the cuff
Speaker 2: sort of hosting stuff and just being myself. Right, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm just myself. There is no one better. Oh, thank you,
Speaker 2: But I try not to, like take my Instagram for example,
Speaker 2: there's no bells and whistles on that thing, I will
Speaker 2: part post some nice pretty photos because the way I
Speaker 2: like to use Instagram is just light, fluffy. Here's what
Speaker 2: I'm doing, here's where I am. I have plenty of really,
Speaker 2: really great friends who use Instagram far better than I do,
Speaker 2: and actually do put like news and current affairs and
Speaker 2: things like that. And that's great, but that's not my bag, no,
Speaker 2: and that's okay, so don't at me about that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but when.
Speaker 1: You're doing exciting stuff that you want to share exactly
Speaker 1: like all this amazing overseas travels.
Speaker 2: So I thought, well, my peeps who I love, who
Speaker 2: are always kind to me on Instagram again, I love
Speaker 2: to see that.
Speaker 1: And they're kind to you on the Christy castinsa page two.
Speaker 2: They love you. We are so lucky our viewers, you
Speaker 2: and me. Yes, we have yes, the most lovely people.
Speaker 1: I agree, and thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Thank you from the modo of my heart because it
Speaker 2: always makes me feel lovely when I read kind comments. Correct. Occasionally, though,
Speaker 2: something happens that takes the winds out of your say
Speaker 2: oh yes a Meani Yeah. Now I don't usually get this,
Speaker 2: but there were two occasions where people were mean to
Speaker 2: me and go I quote Grandma Lisa, which is, if
Speaker 2: you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
Speaker 2: Sees what I try and live by.
Speaker 1: I agree.
Speaker 2: But also there is a great quote from Steel Magnolias
Speaker 2: where I know what you're gonna say, what a film?
Speaker 2: What a film? I'm a Jane.
Speaker 1: I want to guilty, guilty. I want to watch it
Speaker 1: again and again. I want to watch it with you.
Speaker 2: I want to watch that scene where Sally Field goes
Speaker 2: I was there when she came into this world. I
Speaker 2: was there when she loaned, oh my god, I'm great now.
Speaker 1: And also Tom Scarett still would having said that, I
Speaker 1: think he's still.
Speaker 2: Magnolias is approximately thirty five years old, so he might
Speaker 2: be rip, he might be well, I.
Speaker 1: Have built that up.
Speaker 2: But Olympia do carcass. The character she plays is magnificent.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Clarie Clarie, Clarie Clail, Cherie Bail.
Speaker 2: Dolly Partons in that she is because that Dolly Partons
Speaker 2: the one says I'm a chain when her husband buys
Speaker 2: her a second beauty business.
Speaker 1: And her character's name in that film is.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be so excited when I find it Waite.
Speaker 2: So yes, Sally Field is Miliyane Millianne, and she is
Speaker 2: the mother of Shelby.
Speaker 1: Shelby and Olympia is Clarie. She is Clairie Donna Partners,
Speaker 1: Truthy Truvi, that's Rat and my favorite character in it,
Speaker 1: Shirley McLane.
Speaker 2: The hard bit and old. Can you remember what was
Speaker 2: her name? Weezer, Weezer, that's right here, slap her you
Speaker 2: and I we're gonna watch that.
Speaker 1: Weezer and Truthy.
Speaker 2: Also, hang on a minute, I'm Weezer.
Speaker 1: Yes, you're the cranky one, okay, But like I could
Speaker 1: be other characters.
Speaker 2: I could be Milyanne. I'm like, yes, you could be
Speaker 2: Malian you know, because I'm a beautiful maternal type. Yes.
Speaker 1: Daryl Hannah in it, a nil a nail.
Speaker 2: Remember she was all kind of coy. She was really shark. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and she had the.
Speaker 1: Glass and then and then all she had a metamorphois.
Speaker 1: She was a great beauty after I know, sadly it
Speaker 1: happened because a man fell in love with her, which
Speaker 1: we know is a trope that we reject. Yes, wholeheartedly
Speaker 1: reject that, But I digress. The greatest quote from that film,
Speaker 1: Steel Magnolia's go with the wa is Olympia Juke kirkis
Speaker 1: who please? The rule of Claar says, if you ain't
Speaker 1: got nothing else to say, you come sit by me.
Speaker 2: What a line? What a line? But I try to
Speaker 2: say kind things to people, you know, along the lines
Speaker 2: of you. And I will never ask anyone if they're pregnant,
Speaker 2: because the only time you ask someone if they're pregnant
Speaker 2: is if.
Speaker 3: You can see the baby cut, little hairy slickhead coming
Speaker 3: out of the little the never region slick hole.
Speaker 2: That's the only time. Did you just say, Harry slick hole?
Speaker 2: I did, Welcome to the show, Harry slick hole. Hm. Anyway,
Speaker 2: let's get back to Instagram.
Speaker 1: What did somebody say to you? And what was their name?
Speaker 1: And let me track them down.
Speaker 2: You know, because what I did is just is just
Speaker 2: delete and block after hot tears had sprung to my eyes.
Speaker 1: I know You've got to get better at that, and
Speaker 1: delete and block before the tears. Yeah, and you never
Speaker 1: think of them again, think of it again.
Speaker 2: One lady said to me, you know, how dare you?
Speaker 2: Today is the anniversary of the Port Arthur massacre, and
Speaker 2: all I can see is your show off ee post.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I care, I care, I didn't
Speaker 2: know that. I'm sorry that that, I'm sorry that that's happened.
Speaker 2: But show offye all I'm doing is advertising something that
Speaker 2: I've done, a job that's mean.
Speaker 1: And also mean. We no one can put in their diary.
Speaker 1: We're reminders for every tragic event that's ever occurred.
Speaker 2: And you know, you just you'd fill up every single
Speaker 2: bloody day.
Speaker 1: And also, here's the thing, what she's saying is right, yeah,
Speaker 1: something there is an anniversary of something bad every day. Yes,
Speaker 1: your job is to bring joy.
Speaker 2: And I was trying to bring joy.
Speaker 1: Correct you knew, even if you knew that it was
Speaker 1: the anniversary of such a heinous event, bring your post
Speaker 1: still stands. Hey, all of this awful stuff's going on
Speaker 1: in the world, Look at my lasagna exactly what that's.
Speaker 2: My motto, or in my case, look at the palm tree.
Speaker 2: And that's okay. And then another man said, and this
Speaker 2: is a man and he goes this, this site, this company,
Speaker 2: obviously many luxury escapes. He's becoming incredibly tedious. Get rid
Speaker 2: of these nobodies.
Speaker 1: Very wow, I was what, also, that doesn't even make sense?
Speaker 4: Why Roy Brad Greg Kevin Larry Mervyn Graham.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll go with Gray.
Speaker 1: That doesn't even make sense. How so, how are luxury
Speaker 1: escapes and nobody? How are you? And nobody?
Speaker 2: Like he was Insinua?
Speaker 5: Somebody? Graham's right, Graham. Everybody is somebody, and even your dad,
Speaker 5: even small minded little dick facing. That's mean, I know, but.
Speaker 2: I should have said I should have said bottom face
Speaker 2: or something.
Speaker 1: Did you block and delete?
Speaker 2: Block and delete all the way? Block, delete, block delete,
Speaker 2: But that's that's seriously the only two times that I've
Speaker 2: ever had a mean comment. See, I find them, and
Speaker 2: this will not be a surprise to you. I sort
Speaker 2: of love them, why because I find them so funny.
Speaker 2: And you also don't care. You've got that thing where
Speaker 2: you don't care if someone doesn't like you. I feel
Speaker 2: fine with it. I truly don't know. I know it's
Speaker 2: one of your superpowers.
Speaker 1: I think it is, and I think I was born
Speaker 1: with it. I think I was born I don't think
Speaker 1: everybody's born with it. If they have it, I just
Speaker 1: don't care. And the best comment I've ever received on
Speaker 1: Instagram was was one word, and I had posted a
Speaker 1: walking pick because I'm always walking and I recommend it.
Speaker 1: If you want to give it a go, start with
Speaker 1: five minutes, put your owners on. And I was joyous
Speaker 1: in this moment out walking because that's what happens.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: Well, now that I can't drink, well, of that, I can,
Speaker 1: I can drink ALCOHOLI and.
Speaker 2: You choose not to. And you've also got gone off
Speaker 2: the dark cokes.
Speaker 1: Correct. And also because I'm following this very boring Golden
Speaker 1: Girl's anti inflammatory diet, it also means no, well, I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to not have any sugar, but I, oh, I do,
Speaker 1: come on, shame, I feel like, because you know I
Speaker 1: love those the Allen's Party Mix, the retro party mix.
Speaker 2: Now you do, I've seen it, and great that you've
Speaker 2: got of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. And I keep it in a giant
Speaker 1: container on top of the fridge, and I feel like
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. If I I shouldn't
Speaker 1: be having sugar because it goes straight to my bulbs
Speaker 1: is terrible. But I feel like if I'm standing up
Speaker 1: and eating it straight from the container, it doesn't count.
Speaker 2: I don't know what parallel universe you're ind with that nonsense,
Speaker 2: but the lies we tell ourselves indeed, anyway, I was
Speaker 2: walking and I had this moment of like serotonin, dopeman
Speaker 2: and dolphins everything. You were so happy, so happy on life.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, And I took a photo of myself with
Speaker 1: a big grin.
Speaker 2: Right lovely like this because no one grins like you.
Speaker 1: Baby, and I posted it and everyone was like, you
Speaker 1: look so happy or whatever, and I was happy.
Speaker 2: And then one woman just wrote one word neck with
Speaker 2: like two exclamation mircs.
Speaker 1: And it remains the funniest thing that anyone has ever
Speaker 1: said to me.
Speaker 2: Because yeah, it was not looking like it was.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it looked old or something, I guess, but I'm fifty.
Speaker 2: Of course my neck is old. The neck is never
Speaker 2: coming back, sweetheart.
Speaker 1: I't just tell you that capital medals neck exclamation mark.
Speaker 2: And you did you because the way I know you
Speaker 2: is that you would then take a photo of a
Speaker 2: close up of your neck and send it to her
Speaker 2: as a DM.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I like to comment, and followed her, I
Speaker 1: just love it. I want more of that please now,
Speaker 1: as you know, I am a I'm doing what I
Speaker 1: can in the Cozi lives in the cost of living crisis.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't even know what that stood for. Then
Speaker 2: what do you call it cose he lives, he lives.
Speaker 2: I've been in a lifestyle crisis for about a decade now,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I didn't realize it had gotten worse
Speaker 2: than You're a pro. Oh mate, I am anything any
Speaker 2: way I can save money, I do. Do you see?
Speaker 1: I'm quite new to it because I have been in
Speaker 1: the past a spendthrift, a frivolous spend thrift, feeling like
Speaker 1: it was never going to run out. But it turns
Speaker 1: out it does, it does. It does.
Speaker 2: Turns out you've got to turn your heater off at
Speaker 2: some point in the room. I've started doing that. Wow,
Speaker 2: I wow.
Speaker 1: Scream at the kids turn the lights off. I send
Speaker 1: them mean text messages after they've gone to school saying
Speaker 1: I just turned off fifteen lights. Does anybody listen to me?
Speaker 1: Around here? You're I'm making my own life of bread
Speaker 1: loaves of bread. You know, as previously mentioned.
Speaker 2: Also started buying lots and lots of things in bulk.
Speaker 2: And your freezer is now jam packed. It's like you're
Speaker 2: waiting for the end of the world.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, because if when things are on sale, I
Speaker 1: stock up.
Speaker 2: Okay, and look, you can do that because there's one
Speaker 2: hundred and forty seven people live in this house, but
Speaker 2: there's only me really at my place, and my daughter
Speaker 2: comes and goes, but really there's just me. So I
Speaker 2: haven't really gotten into the freezing things. But I just, well,
Speaker 2: you don't need to know. I'll just eat a dirty
Speaker 2: bit of old sausage that's got freezer burn and be
Speaker 2: done with it.
Speaker 1: And as we previously mentioned, multi grad can you stop
Speaker 1: buying multi grained toast if you intend to eat it
Speaker 1: with a sausage?
Speaker 2: Just why sausage in bread? I stand corrected, Okay, yes,
Speaker 2: and we don't need to go over old ground. Please continue,
Speaker 2: can you live?
Speaker 1: I will get back to the Cozi lives in a minute,
Speaker 1: but I just want you to tell me because I
Speaker 1: just feel like three kids are so many.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, people do have more. They've gone
Speaker 2: completely bonkers.
Speaker 1: But they do have, but like to parent them and
Speaker 1: earn all the money for everything.
Speaker 2: Look, things got out of hand with you, do you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? I mean, first of all, there
Speaker 2: was Leo, and that's great. One kid's great, I'm all
Speaker 2: for that. Then all of a sudden geared me and
Speaker 2: then so quickly Peggy within eighteen months it's just like
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, Oh no, she's pregnant again, she's
Speaker 2: breastfeeding something again. I just don't feel you gave it
Speaker 2: the requisite thought. Oh no, I didn't give it anything. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: absolutely not. There through all those years, just thinking is
Speaker 2: she not like I'm five years ahead of her? Is
Speaker 2: she not taking any notice of this?
Speaker 1: I was talking to somebody recently about conceiving children.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and look, thankfully we were able to do that.
Speaker 2: I know, yeah, But.
Speaker 1: Talking to this person, I was like, oh, was it
Speaker 1: a conscious decision?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that so this person had charts up, yeah, temperature,
Speaker 2: and they cited the scheduling time with their partner, and
Speaker 2: they sat out when they could take their matt leave
Speaker 2: so that it end up with their long service leaves
Speaker 2: all this sort of stuff conversations, like conversations that sounded
Speaker 2: like is this a good time to have a baby
Speaker 2: or should we put it off? I never never.
Speaker 1: Crossed my mind. I just rolled with it, baby, Steve
Speaker 1: Winwood start.
Speaker 2: You certainly did, and we all rolled with you. Yes,
Speaker 2: yes it was.
Speaker 1: You know, it's been it's been a big time and
Speaker 1: barely remember any of it. But I just want you
Speaker 1: to tell me that the end is in sight, and
Speaker 1: you know I will one day not have to buy
Speaker 1: Home brand double vinegar in sets of six.
Speaker 2: In order to clean things. Yeah, it does. They leave home,
Speaker 2: So what's so? What's it like to live on your own?
Speaker 2: I can't imagine it? So peaceful and my very very
Speaker 2: favorite thing. Where you leave something is where it's going
Speaker 2: to be when you come home. No one moved anything,
Speaker 2: No one messes with your things, no one goes and
Speaker 2: borrows any of your stuff. Everything's everything is exactly where
Speaker 2: you would like to be. And if you want to
Speaker 2: have no dinner, or if you want to open that
Speaker 2: Hinds baked beans for one and just eat that out
Speaker 2: of the tin, you can. No one's going to be
Speaker 2: hovering over your shoulder saying, what are you cooking? What
Speaker 2: are you cooking? What's for dinner? What's for dinner? You
Speaker 2: can just do whatever you want. You don't have to
Speaker 2: tell anyone to go to bed.
Speaker 1: I have started to preemptively eat what I want to
Speaker 1: eat for dinner.
Speaker 2: So how you can do that? Because each of your
Speaker 2: three children requires a different menu, or mean you need
Speaker 2: you Grandma Liza?
Speaker 1: Yes, well, yes, there are different menus, particularly for breakfast. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they have three bespoke breakfasts, which is something I wasn't
Speaker 1: expecting when I gave up breakfast radio. So I do that.
Speaker 2: We never had breakfast with any of them, did we.
Speaker 2: We didn't know what they ate for breakfast.
Speaker 1: I have because I've done. I did breakfast radio for
Speaker 1: twenty years. For me, yeah, twenty years, and LEAs only fifteen.
Speaker 1: So I've literally never saw my kids before school. And
Speaker 1: to be honest, you know that I'm a soft and
Speaker 1: silly hearted mother and it is my favorite time of
Speaker 1: the day. I really love it that they are the
Speaker 1: first people that I get to interact with, and that
Speaker 1: I am the first person that they get to interact with,
Speaker 1: and I really like it.
Speaker 2: I like that too, but I don't like the idea
Speaker 2: of being some sort of short order cook.
Speaker 1: I know, and particularly kid who loves eggs. He has
Speaker 1: a rotating the first question. He's always first up, so
Speaker 1: he's the first face I see in the morning, which
Speaker 1: I couldn't be happier about. Kid there the care gentle giant,
Speaker 1: and I always say, good morning, darling. What's on the
Speaker 1: wheel of eggs today?
Speaker 2: Eggs?
Speaker 1: And sometimes he wants dippy eggs. Sometimes he wants a
Speaker 1: poached egg. Sometimes he likes an omelet. Sometimes he likes scrambled,
Speaker 1: sometimes he likes fried. Sometimes he likes squashed squash. Yes,
Speaker 1: which is hard boiled and then rapidly cut with a
Speaker 1: butter knife with butter, and then he spoons it out
Speaker 1: onto white buttery toast. I mean it is a good
Speaker 1: time to be alive for kid.
Speaker 2: The Yeah, absolutely indeed. So I got to do two
Speaker 2: other breakfasts.
Speaker 1: Yes I do. Peg has the aforementioned homemade sour dough
Speaker 1: with a light scraping of goats cheese.
Speaker 2: Why would she not?
Speaker 1: And also that's got to be toasted on two on
Speaker 1: two on the on the toaster. Yeah, now you tak barely.
Speaker 1: It's got to bet there minutes, so you know when
Speaker 1: you're toaster, when it goes one to seven, that's how
Speaker 1: many minutes the toast is cooked.
Speaker 2: For who toasts anything for seven minutes?
Speaker 1: Though I do. I'm crank it all the way up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bit a charcoal peg is just like a breath
Speaker 2: of heat, Yeah, breath of heat and a scraping of
Speaker 2: Meredith Jerry goats cheese.
Speaker 1: And then Leo Hitting sometimes likes a French omelet with goats, cheese,
Speaker 1: and sometimes skips breakfast, particularly if he's had a Greek
Speaker 1: feast out with his mates the night before on public transport.
Speaker 1: But I digress. I make them dinners. Obviously, that's my job.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're the mum.
Speaker 1: I mean, FYI, everything's my job. But said, no, I'll
Speaker 1: make them dinners. And for years and years, I just
Speaker 1: never It wasn't like I was putting myself second or
Speaker 1: third or fourth or fifth or whatever. I just never
Speaker 1: considered that I would eat something different. I would just
Speaker 1: eat what they ate. And then I sort of looked
Speaker 1: at it and I was like, I don't want to eat this. Actually,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm dumbing myself down. And I clawed back a
Speaker 1: few bits and bobs for myself, and one of them was,
Speaker 1: you know, my favorite protein of all time is an egg, absolutely,
Speaker 1: And sometimes I cook their dinner. Yeah, and then while
Speaker 1: they're putting parmesan on it or whatever, the Vietnamese and whatever,
Speaker 1: they quickly fry up a little egg for myself and fresh.
Speaker 2: I know how you do. I bet you fold it?
Speaker 2: I do you do fold it? Do? No? And I
Speaker 2: will eat that with them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But it's something I really like, that's.
Speaker 2: Really nice that you've realized that it's all I can do.
Speaker 2: I just never got to that point. You've been ahead
Speaker 2: of me on so many points in the parenting journey.
Speaker 2: Well you can't. You don't know too. We know that's right.
Speaker 1: And also I found that it's a big deal for
Speaker 1: me to claw back a little bit of agency. Kids
Speaker 1: don't even notice that. Don't give a shit what I
Speaker 1: eat for dinner.
Speaker 2: No, they don't.
Speaker 1: They're not like, oh my god, oh why are you
Speaker 1: quicking enough for us?
Speaker 2: And you're adding this? Yeah, oh, where's your time? A
Speaker 2: going off?
Speaker 1: Because I've got to go to my real dime.
Speaker 2: Don we talk for too long?
Speaker 1: No, I want to talk about online shopping files because
Speaker 1: in this cozy lives, if I see something on sale
Speaker 1: and I can buy five of them to get free postage,
Speaker 1: I will.
Speaker 2: You're going to I absolutely will. Okay.
Speaker 1: Now, I had a notion that I needed a stripey
Speaker 1: top because I'm mad for it.
Speaker 2: I made a stripey top too. I want a black
Speaker 2: and white stripey top.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, do not make the mistake I made.
Speaker 1: So I found a yellow and white stripey top, which
Speaker 1: is very hard to find.
Speaker 2: And you know that yellow is my coolor yes, it
Speaker 2: is in honor of your nan. I found it online
Speaker 2: and I thought, this is amazing. It was from a
Speaker 2: Japanese retailer Heremuji. Yes I do, but I know how
Speaker 2: this is going to end.
Speaker 1: So they have gorgeous things and when they're on sale,
Speaker 1: you buy them and then you wear them for two
Speaker 1: hundred years.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, they're very good quality.
Speaker 1: And I found I couldn't find anywhere anywhere a yellow
Speaker 1: and white stripe top. I found one at Muji online.
Speaker 2: Has it got a nasty sort of boat neck? Oh
Speaker 2: my god, it was so gorgeous.
Speaker 1: No, it was just a standard long sleeve because I
Speaker 1: got to get the fliboidas in it. You know, it
Speaker 1: was just perfect. I was so excited, so excited for
Speaker 1: it to arrive, rare yellow and white. Well it arrived.
Speaker 1: I picked a size. I was like, oh, Japanese size
Speaker 1: is a weird. It's not me the more extra large
Speaker 1: or anything that we understand. You know, when you buy
Speaker 1: something from overseas or someone gives you something and it's
Speaker 1: like a size thirty eight.
Speaker 2: And now what does that mean?
Speaker 1: What does it even mean?
Speaker 2: Mind blown? And then the UK.
Speaker 1: Size is a difference to the US sizes and Australian size.
Speaker 2: Japanese they make really tiny clothing because all the people
Speaker 2: are really tiny.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, what about super Dry? You buy an
Speaker 1: extra extra large it barely fits a toddler. It's crazy,
Speaker 1: it's crazy.
Speaker 2: Super Dry is not in my.
Speaker 1: Super dr See I've got groovy kids.
Speaker 2: That's not in my well. Sorry, hang on, I'm not
Speaker 2: groovy just because I don't dress in super Dry.
Speaker 1: Well no, no, no, I don't think super Dry is
Speaker 1: for women of our vintage.
Speaker 2: But it might be okay, good.
Speaker 1: Actually, you can wear whatever you like, thanks very much.
Speaker 2: The top arrived and I've got it here for you.
Speaker 2: No wonder it was so cheap. It was.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 2: It's eighty centimeters.
Speaker 1: It was six dollars, and I just was so thrilled
Speaker 1: to myself.
Speaker 2: Idiots, I bought three. We don't even know anyone with
Speaker 2: little kids anymore. What are you gonna do it that?
Speaker 1: And you said it's eighty centimeters That's what.
Speaker 2: I thought I was buying. I think it's eighty millimeters.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's just eight centimeters.
Speaker 1: It's for a baby that is eighty centimeters long.
Speaker 2: It's for a twelve month old. Baby to place eleven
Speaker 2: kilos looking and it's so darling. I would give anything
Speaker 2: to try and see you get that over. Your noggan
Speaker 2: can look how gorgeous.
Speaker 1: And of course I have the ultimate block if something
Speaker 1: arrives that I've bought online and it is wrong and
Speaker 1: I'm stuck with it.
Speaker 2: Don't you never send anything back to you? How do
Speaker 2: you they give you like a slip in there a return?
Speaker 2: I know you pain almost exploding right now, but there
Speaker 2: is a way that some darling little family with actual
Speaker 2: babies could benefit from getting that top back.
Speaker 1: I tell you what, Chrissy, casters if you like the
Speaker 1: look of this top.
Speaker 2: If you've got a little baby, why don't you get
Speaker 2: in touch with us? You could have one of these.
Speaker 1: I mean also, if your babies are the size of
Speaker 1: my babies twelve months, they were born newborn size, so
Speaker 1: you know, only little ones as as per society rules.
Speaker 2: As they say, Oh dear, but isn't it nice we
Speaker 2: can give back in the Kazi lives? Can you believe it?
Speaker 2: That is so funny.
Speaker 1: I was wheezing and my excitement when it arrived, the
Speaker 1: Moodie packaging. I thought, oh my god, I am so smart.
Speaker 2: I've got off because the packaging would have been really small.
Speaker 1: Yes, it was.
Speaker 2: When immediately when you saw that, I would have been
Speaker 2: alarum bells.
Speaker 1: Alarum bells were going off. Yes, but I can always
Speaker 1: talk myself out of it.
Speaker 2: Can be okay, yeah, probably folded up really small.
Speaker 1: Well, And in fact, I do think I buy things
Speaker 1: and then I forget what I've bought, and so everything's
Speaker 1: a surprise for me. When the Mooji parcel arrived, I
Speaker 1: probably went, what have I bought from me? I can't remember, Dory,
Speaker 1: aren't you completely always have been. I've been so excited
Speaker 1: to tell you this story, Jane. Something you're still on about,
Speaker 1: still loving the tiny T shirt story it is that
Speaker 1: is priceless.
Speaker 2: And the thing is that I know you so well.
Speaker 2: I can see this on your computer. I was like,
Speaker 2: what I found it?
Speaker 5: I found it six dollars, bye bye.
Speaker 2: Bye bye.
Speaker 1: And I saw the eighty and I thought, oh, that's funny.
Speaker 1: So I think, I don't even know what that means,
Speaker 1: but eighty sounds big, and like dec eighty sounds big
Speaker 1: enough for me. Yes, but imagine how perfect it would
Speaker 1: have been if it was ten times a bigger. It's
Speaker 1: so cute. It reminds me of shrinkies from the eighties.
Speaker 1: You remember, you to go you packet chip packets and
Speaker 1: kets of chips or twisty paverns, and then you'd make
Speaker 1: it nashy little key ring out he ring Yes, speaking
Speaker 1: of key rings, head to our Instagram page, the Quizy Cast.
Speaker 1: There is a link in bio the very untrollecky FYI.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I know we were doing that. I know
Speaker 1: it's new. You got to check our socials, baby girl. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I've got to move on. The whole point of having
Speaker 1: you here is twofold. This week, I've got two things
Speaker 1: I want to tell you slash reminisce. Everything old is
Speaker 1: new again. This is the equivalent of getting married. I've
Speaker 1: got something new and something old for you, something borrowed,
Speaker 1: something blue. This is something new. It is a story
Speaker 1: that happened to me this week. When it happened, the
Speaker 1: first face that flew into my psyche was yours. And
Speaker 1: we have spoken since and I have kept my powder dry.
Speaker 1: Oh no, so my new You know, self care I
Speaker 1: think is a really cheesy term, and it's so objective.
Speaker 1: I always get objective and subjective mixed up. What does
Speaker 1: it mean when it's very bespoke to you? Is that
Speaker 1: objective or subjective?
Speaker 2: Objective? Okay, so it's a very subjective means you can
Speaker 2: have different views on it.
Speaker 1: Right, Well, then I don't know. Self care is what
Speaker 1: do you think myself? Oh?
Speaker 2: If you want to say, it's subjective, meaning that it
Speaker 2: means to everybody, it means different things to different people.
Speaker 1: Yes, subjective, okay, Well, self care to me is a
Speaker 1: very subjective thing. Yeah, and it can involve laying still,
Speaker 1: it can involve pumping eye, and it can all of.
Speaker 2: These and you don't mind that anything goes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but I don't know. Self care fel is
Speaker 1: very cheesy as a term.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say it in a million years. I wouldn't
Speaker 2: say it.
Speaker 1: Well, my latest self care is burning shit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have turned into some sort of evil pyromania.
Speaker 1: Have you noticed every time you come over the outdoor fires.
Speaker 2: Going going, and like, I don't know what you're burning,
Speaker 2: but I feel like the kid's prep artwork is not safe.
Speaker 1: All that has that gone? Oh that has well and
Speaker 1: truly gone. Everything has gone tacks, things, real estate, things, bank,
Speaker 1: things do maybe things should have saved. I did check
Speaker 1: and they were all seven years old or more and
Speaker 1: also recently, and I can't stop. For example, I am itching.
Speaker 2: To burn that, to burn all the research that I've
Speaker 2: put on the table here that, yeah, and I will
Speaker 2: do it before you.
Speaker 1: I know, the fires on downstairs, absolutely obsessed.
Speaker 2: Jumper stinks of it, that's right.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I always smell like I've just done seven
Speaker 1: weeks in. I'm a celebrity. To get me out of
Speaker 1: here again. So it is my new self care. And
Speaker 1: I'm burning stuff all the time. But I noticed last
Speaker 1: week that I was getting low on firewood. Oh right,
Speaker 1: And I just cause he lives, I can't get it
Speaker 1: from the servo because it's four times the price that
Speaker 1: he girl wants to.
Speaker 2: Pay two hundred and seventy dollars for four bits of
Speaker 2: red gum.
Speaker 1: So of course I open up my Google and I
Speaker 1: do shopping comparisons, and I find a very reasonable delivery service.
Speaker 1: Yes for red gum is to come to the house
Speaker 1: and they will stack it old stack it.
Speaker 2: Normally they just lump it in a no, oh, they'll
Speaker 2: stack it.
Speaker 1: I stacked it fifty dollars, which is pretty good for
Speaker 1: half the time. I know. I think there was a
Speaker 1: mistake there, but anyway, I'm expecting it. At ten am,
Speaker 1: doorbell goes an old guy called Angelo is there. He's
Speaker 1: about five foot one, it's about sixty five years old.
Speaker 1: And I realized at that moment that something has happened
Speaker 1: where I have paid this beautiful no no, no no,
Speaker 1: to stack my wood pile like a big fat capitalist
Speaker 1: that I am.
Speaker 2: You did you hang your head in shame? The guilt? Yeah,
Speaker 2: was palpable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he came with a truck of wood heavy half
Speaker 1: a ton jane and a small trolley.
Speaker 2: No was he going back out into the fields to
Speaker 2: sew his crops afterwards as well? I just it's shameful
Speaker 2: of you, I know, But I wouldn't help it. Well,
Speaker 2: I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I thought a wood place would have two strapping kids
Speaker 1: called you know Brendan that you know that would come
Speaker 1: or you know, or we're just doing this in the
Speaker 1: school hall or whatever. You know. You sound like your son,
Speaker 1: I know, I did.
Speaker 2: I'm just well that's what I was imagining. Ah, two
Speaker 2: strapping lads.
Speaker 1: Yeah, instead like Leo's friends Ziony and Kappa.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they would have come and they would have dropped
Speaker 2: that they would have dropped that wood for your hands.
Speaker 2: Stack that in like ten minutes.
Speaker 1: I was not expecting Angelo with his twisted.
Speaker 2: Little hands and n old hands, tiny red trolley. No,
Speaker 2: shame on you.
Speaker 1: So I tried to make it easier for him, and
Speaker 1: I said, there's two access points in this house. See
Speaker 1: which one is easier with the less steps.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Right, he's not in firm, but what you were
Speaker 2: just trying to make sure he didn't have to go
Speaker 2: up to many steps. Yes, he was on his own
Speaker 2: an old man.
Speaker 1: Anyway, that's not my decision. It's his choice and his employer's.
Speaker 2: Choice, unless it is the fact that he runs the
Speaker 2: actual business and does everything, does the job, lot of everything.
Speaker 1: No, he doesn't, I asked him at the end, because
Speaker 1: I said, Angelo, I feel a bit guilty about this
Speaker 1: because you're still here and it's twelve midnight.
Speaker 2: You know you've been taking you fourteen hours? Yes, and
Speaker 2: I'm just feeling a little bit guilty about the fifty
Speaker 2: dollars chart.
Speaker 1: No. Before I left for work, I said, Angela, I'm
Speaker 1: a bit I've only paid fifty dollars for this, and
Speaker 1: you've already been here a long time? Are you? Is
Speaker 1: this your company? He said? No, No, I'm paid by
Speaker 1: the hour. Anyway, I'd found fifty bucks cash in my thing,
Speaker 1: and no one uses cash anymore, so I slipped it
Speaker 1: in his pocket, much to his horror. But it made
Speaker 1: me feel a bit better. But while he was ferrying
Speaker 1: the timber, I was, of course overcompensating.
Speaker 2: Did you make a cake? Oh?
Speaker 1: I felt so guilty. I offered him a beer. I
Speaker 1: offered him coffee off and tea, all of which he declined.
Speaker 1: I talked to him about his weekend. I was just
Speaker 1: so desperate to be kind and to make him know
Speaker 1: that he was worth something valued anyway, Murphy, you know
Speaker 1: my dog? Yeah, around the house whatever. At this point,
Speaker 1: I've already got the fire guy because I'm a paramaniac,
Speaker 1: and he is stacking Angela's coming to and from the
Speaker 1: woodpile next to the crackling fire. And every time he
Speaker 1: comes in with a load, we have a chat about
Speaker 1: something anyway, halfter about the fourth or fifth little interaction.
Speaker 1: And you know how charming I can be when I
Speaker 1: want to be absolutely And I wanted this to be
Speaker 1: a good experience for Angelo. What a visit to the compound? Yes,
Speaker 1: it's important to me.
Speaker 2: You wanted him to go away with happy mems. Yes,
Speaker 2: I did do.
Speaker 1: Anyway, He's putting his little broken trolley and his bow
Speaker 1: legs up into the up into his truck, Jesus Angelo.
Speaker 1: And I've got my back to Angelo and I'm feeding
Speaker 1: timber into the into the fire, loving it. And I
Speaker 1: hear him over my shoulders say, GE's your friendly, aren't you?
Speaker 1: And I said, well, thank you, Angelo, Yes, I do
Speaker 1: try to be. He was talking that Murphy, my cavoodle.
Speaker 2: Who are friendly? That's to be said. But you answered
Speaker 2: him tees you free? You friendly, aren't you?
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, Angelo, I do try to be. There's no
Speaker 1: excuse not to be.
Speaker 2: Angelo.
Speaker 1: And then I look around in Murphy's like jumping all
Speaker 1: around him, and he's clearly talking to my dog.
Speaker 2: Keep poor darling. You were on just high near catalog,
Speaker 2: I know, you know.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh, Angela, of course, Angela,
Speaker 1: you're talking to.
Speaker 2: The dog that you're talking. Oh thought you're talking to me.
Speaker 2: I wanted to pointed out that you didn't lift a
Speaker 2: single finger to help him carry a bit of wood. Though, no,
Speaker 2: you're right, I did not.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm not paying fifty bucks for nothing or haha.
Speaker 2: Actually it was a hundred.
Speaker 1: It was one hundred in the end, and I feel
Speaker 1: like that's fair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, but I mean, look, for all this faffing around,
Speaker 2: you still didn't help. I could have been friendlier, could
Speaker 2: have been actually helpful. So you can imagine that your
Speaker 2: face was the first face I saw. Gee, you're a.
Speaker 1: Friendly, aren't you?
Speaker 2: Thank you? Angela? Do you want to play?
Speaker 1: I mean, am I crazy? Or do you want to
Speaker 1: do a round of What's in the belly bag?
Speaker 2: Why wouldn't you? You'd have to be mad. Not to
Speaker 2: you'd have to be mad. Although I get nervous about
Speaker 2: this because I never know what's going to emerge from it.
Speaker 2: I think you'll know this one, do you do?
Speaker 1: Of course? I've got my belly bag here. I call
Speaker 1: it a belly bag because you wear it on your belly, and.
Speaker 2: I understand.
Speaker 1: Please open up the belly bag, Jane Holland. In it
Speaker 1: you will find.
Speaker 2: A thought starter, a little inspiration, an amuse boosh, and
Speaker 2: you will an amos boche to see if it kicks
Speaker 2: off any kind of memories for you. What is it?
Speaker 1: Is a piece of paper? And what is paper? You're
Speaker 1: unfolding it? Who is it? Who is it?
Speaker 2: It's our goddess, Stevie Nicks. It is our goddess. Oh
Speaker 2: my good bag. Okay, I want to take you back
Speaker 2: in time to when you and I went to see.
Speaker 1: Stevie communed with our high process of tambourine.
Speaker 2: River and she did not disappoint. Do you remember she
Speaker 2: had a variety of percussion instruments.
Speaker 1: And she had been sober for at least two weeks.
Speaker 2: And I won't lie. The very first thing we did
Speaker 2: is we had to procure me a large tumbler, a
Speaker 2: very warm, very cheap white.
Speaker 1: Wines, small, small correction, both of us. You procured a
Speaker 1: giant what are they called? They're those pink the red
Speaker 1: American cups, cups, the red cups that everyone called.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but the teenagers in America have them
Speaker 2: and kids have them at parties. Oh my god, I
Speaker 2: was looking.
Speaker 1: I was just googling that big red cup America and
Speaker 1: it said big red volver, big red, big red pimple volver.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that's not what I got from backstage at Stevinnie.
Speaker 1: No, hang on, a second big red plastic cup cup
Speaker 1: party cup America. Oh, it's called a red solo cup,
Speaker 1: a red song.
Speaker 2: Yes, they sing.
Speaker 1: Songs about it. I can red neck America. So you
Speaker 1: procured a giant, absolutely disgusting cup of wine at this concert,
Speaker 1: and I think.
Speaker 2: To this day it's the worst white wine that I've
Speaker 2: ever drunk, and I will drink anything.
Speaker 1: The reason I remember it is and it was warm. Yes,
Speaker 1: it was disgusting. The reason I remember it, and the
Speaker 1: year would have been twenty eleven, Yes, because it was
Speaker 1: the first time I'd been out of the house since
Speaker 1: i'd had Kit and I had him in August to
Speaker 1: twenty eleven, and I was still breastfeeding raw.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's right, because I taught you the pump and.
Speaker 1: Dumb you taught me. I'd never even heard the pump
Speaker 1: and dump, and I thought, if I'm ever going to
Speaker 1: pump and dump, it is tonight with my hot girlfriend
Speaker 1: Jane Hall, in the company of my high Priestess of
Speaker 1: Tambourine Ribbons, Steve Nicks. So I drank that wine and
Speaker 1: I remember getting home and squeezing my boobs into the.
Speaker 2: Sick get rid of it. And it smelt of that
Speaker 2: disgusting one like pure wine. Did you keep pumping into
Speaker 2: you could just smell not the wine anymore. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: was a lot, as it's turned out. Get this absolutely finally,
Speaker 2: don't have to worry. Well, kiddy never got any of that.
Speaker 2: That went down, the scenk, down the gurgle. That's right.
Speaker 2: But anyway, I'll never forget the moment because we were
Speaker 2: actually in the steven Nicks mush pit. We were at
Speaker 2: the front with a lot of other semi retirees. I
Speaker 2: just want to say, there were a lot of kind
Speaker 2: of geriatric people in that.
Speaker 1: I was in my late thirties. I was thirty eight
Speaker 1: and my tits were leaking. And also I was not
Speaker 1: allowed to drive at that stage because my Caesar scar was.
Speaker 2: Still it wasn't healing. That's right, because we took a car. Remember, yes,
Speaker 2: but that's one of your pet hates, trying to find parking.
Speaker 2: You know, we got straight to the front door. Correct,
Speaker 2: Thank goodness, you've had that many children and saved us
Speaker 2: on a number of occasions. So we get up to
Speaker 2: the front and out she comes and she is, Oh,
Speaker 2: she is glorious. Her mane is flowing, she looks brilliant
Speaker 2: like the sober woman that she now is, and her
Speaker 2: voice was magical, and she cranked out all the hits.
Speaker 2: Didn't she yes, and we were sort of eye level
Speaker 2: to her.
Speaker 1: I had these little tiny, heiney, witchy pool almost keyring
Speaker 1: sized lace up boots.
Speaker 2: You know what they were.
Speaker 1: They were novelty footwear. They were novelty foot anyway.
Speaker 2: So she has the novelty feet, and that's where were
Speaker 2: on that eyeline. You had one stage and I can't
Speaker 2: remember the song she was singing, but I've got goosebump
Speaker 2: singing out she was. She started like, I believe it
Speaker 2: was stand back?
Speaker 1: Was it? Dad?
Speaker 2: Back? Start back in the back in the middle of
Speaker 2: my room from you? It's alright, are right anyway? So
Speaker 2: she starts reaching out to the crowd. Now I'm small, Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're quite tall. Yes, I'm tall and big and with
Speaker 2: big hands. You really have got big hands. Yeah, I've
Speaker 2: got tiny bilbi Bilbie's they are like a bilbie paul,
Speaker 2: which is a native equivalra a rabbit. Yeah, I'm reaching
Speaker 2: up with the Bilbies, Stevie Stevee, because she is people
Speaker 2: in the crowd and this is an opportunity. She passes
Speaker 2: me by on the second round when she comes back,
Speaker 2: and you looked so disappointed. You were like, I'm right streamy,
Speaker 2: but my bilbies weren't reaching. You got behind me when
Speaker 2: she came back. You lifted me off the ground and
Speaker 2: you reached my eye.
Speaker 1: You have forgotten what I did. No, it was the
Speaker 1: ultimate act of love and self sacrifice.
Speaker 2: Oh, because it was.
Speaker 1: She was reaching for you, Stevin X was reaching for me.
Speaker 2: Yep, she was reaching for you. I could feel.
Speaker 1: Your desire next to me, and I could smell your
Speaker 1: chardonnaye breath that I grabbed with my long arms and
Speaker 1: my big hands. I grabbed Stevie Nix's hand, and then
Speaker 1: I grabbed your hand, and I placed your hand in
Speaker 1: Stevie Nix's hand.
Speaker 2: And then I looked at your expression.
Speaker 1: And you were wide eyed with your mouth open, looking
Speaker 1: Stevie Nicks in the eye, and.
Speaker 2: She actually sort of crouched down a little bit to
Speaker 2: like make I know you put my hand in hers.
Speaker 2: And that really was one of the nicest, kindest things
Speaker 2: anyone has ever done for me.
Speaker 1: It was the ultimate act of love.
Speaker 2: What was it?
Speaker 1: It? And you ever paid me a hundred fold not no,
Speaker 1: in small part by agreeing to be one of my
Speaker 1: regulars on the Christy cars.
Speaker 2: Thank you, I mean, you have done so many many
Speaker 2: kind things for me as well, including giving me one
Speaker 2: of my very favorite birthday presents in my entire life,
Speaker 2: which was a smashed vaz. Do you remember that? So
Speaker 2: the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. I love you,
Speaker 2: I'll see you next month.
Speaker 1: By real talk, did you think something had happened to
Speaker 1: the recording equipment when I revealed the tiny Baby top?
Speaker 1: I bought my mistake and Jane couldn't breathe from laughing. Ashally,
Speaker 1: do you want that top? Do you have a tiny baby?
Speaker 1: I could send it to follow me at the Christy cast,
Speaker 1: then slide into the old DMS and I'm going to
Speaker 1: send it to you. Newborns need only apply till next time.
Speaker 1: Chriszy casters and spoiler alert, the next episode is so
Speaker 1: much fun. I'm having so much fun it's ridiculous. I'll
Speaker 1: see you then,