1 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:13,241 Speaker 1: Apode Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashy 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,081 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. 3 00:00:14,361 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to 4 00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:20,801 Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,241 --> 00:00:27,801 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,721 Speaker 3: Get ready for your next level of self. 9 00:00:31,081 --> 00:00:33,801 Speaker 1: Welcome back, guys, Back in your ears four times a week, 10 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,801 Speaker 1: which is so cold, loving all the feedback and all 11 00:00:35,801 --> 00:00:37,481 Speaker 1: the different variety of the episodes. 12 00:00:37,681 --> 00:00:39,601 Speaker 2: You girls like variety like we do, and we know 13 00:00:39,641 --> 00:00:41,361 Speaker 2: you're gonna be loving it. It's just so fun. 14 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,920 Speaker 1: And She Rises like a box of roses. You don't 15 00:00:42,921 --> 00:00:44,800 Speaker 1: know what chocolate are you gonna go? You never know. 16 00:00:44,441 --> 00:00:46,801 Speaker 2: You might get a good one, might get a really 17 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:47,161 Speaker 2: good one. 18 00:00:47,561 --> 00:00:50,481 Speaker 1: Aboutally wout tooting your own horn? OHI if you're not 19 00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:51,761 Speaker 1: gonna toot our own horns, no one's. 20 00:00:51,561 --> 00:00:52,121 Speaker 3: Gonna do well. 21 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:56,161 Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it too, too, mother, Just kidding. Today's 22 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:58,921 Speaker 2: episode is all about something that you might find yourself 23 00:00:58,921 --> 00:01:03,241 Speaker 2: getting trapped in. So are you mistaking inspiration for perfection? 24 00:01:03,761 --> 00:01:06,401 Speaker 2: We want to talk about the petis trap and how 25 00:01:06,401 --> 00:01:09,681 Speaker 2: easy it is to pedestal others and how easy it 26 00:01:09,761 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 2: is for us to get caught up in people being 27 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 2: this perfected, idolized version of who we think they are, 28 00:01:16,241 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 2: and what tends to happen to our sense of self 29 00:01:19,241 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 2: when we are prioritizing and putting people so high on 30 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 2: a pedestal, and where we end up as well. So 31 00:01:24,441 --> 00:01:26,681 Speaker 2: we kind of want to talk about that, overcoming that 32 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:30,001 Speaker 2: and how to stop pedestaling people, bringing them back to 33 00:01:30,121 --> 00:01:32,320 Speaker 2: neutral and bringing yourself up as well. 34 00:01:32,521 --> 00:01:35,921 Speaker 1: Definitely, something someone said to me, I cannot remember who 35 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,041 Speaker 1: said it to me, might have been Katie Ford, but 36 00:01:38,121 --> 00:01:40,121 Speaker 1: something she said to me was, whoever you put on 37 00:01:40,161 --> 00:01:43,081 Speaker 1: a pedestal will always fall off. No one is exempt 38 00:01:43,081 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: from being human and making mistakes. Yeah. I love that. 39 00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:48,161 Speaker 1: And when we put someone on a pedestal and say 40 00:01:48,161 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 1: they make a mistake, we are left with so much disappointment. True, 41 00:01:52,281 --> 00:01:54,521 Speaker 1: and we make up all these stories about oh I 42 00:01:54,521 --> 00:01:56,601 Speaker 1: thought they were this person or I thought they did this, 43 00:01:56,801 --> 00:02:00,921 Speaker 1: and it's like you almost dehumanize them. Yeah, it doesn't 44 00:02:00,961 --> 00:02:05,761 Speaker 1: matter if you're a celebrity, a social media influencer, Mum, humans, 45 00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,680 Speaker 1: this is all of our first time living. I think 46 00:02:08,841 --> 00:02:11,161 Speaker 1: some people have had other lives, but like we're all 47 00:02:11,241 --> 00:02:14,281 Speaker 1: learning as we go. I don't like the whole pedestal thing, 48 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,161 Speaker 1: yet I do it. The person I put on a 49 00:02:16,161 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: pedestal is my coach Taylor. Yeah, and I literally said 50 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:21,481 Speaker 1: that to him. It's like, stop doing that. I'm like, 51 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: but you are, You're a mat Like he's perfection in 52 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,201 Speaker 1: my eyes when it comes to a human being, like 53 00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: the best heart, so knowledgeable. Yeah, his wisdom, his lessons, 54 00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:33,001 Speaker 1: his playfulness, like good dad, he's a great dad. Like 55 00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:35,281 Speaker 1: everything about him. I'm like, you are up there. I've 56 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:37,561 Speaker 1: never seen him lose his shit or say something negative 57 00:02:37,761 --> 00:02:40,481 Speaker 1: or I don't know, just fall off his pedestal that 58 00:02:40,481 --> 00:02:42,241 Speaker 1: I put him on. Yeah, he stays up there, but 59 00:02:42,281 --> 00:02:45,241 Speaker 1: I know it's not productive or beneficial for him or 60 00:02:45,281 --> 00:02:45,521 Speaker 1: for me. 61 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:48,321 Speaker 2: And we talked with celebrities as well. Yeah, I've definitely 62 00:02:48,321 --> 00:02:49,881 Speaker 2: done it. I've done it to celebrities. I've done it 63 00:02:49,921 --> 00:02:53,041 Speaker 2: to people in my life, best friends, like business coaches, 64 00:02:53,121 --> 00:02:56,240 Speaker 2: because you just have so much love and admiration and 65 00:02:56,321 --> 00:02:58,401 Speaker 2: you're inspired by them and you just think they're the 66 00:02:58,401 --> 00:03:00,281 Speaker 2: best fucking human. And I do that with you. I 67 00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 2: love you a pedestal too, you know, And so it's 68 00:03:03,161 --> 00:03:05,281 Speaker 2: just it's so easy to do because we have much 69 00:03:05,281 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 2: admiration for others. But it also sometimes with that admiration 70 00:03:09,201 --> 00:03:13,241 Speaker 2: for others comes immediately putting ourselves down. It does, doesn't it, 71 00:03:13,441 --> 00:03:15,961 Speaker 2: Because it's like, well, if this person's up here, then 72 00:03:16,001 --> 00:03:19,041 Speaker 2: I'm down here, yes, you know, And that's an interesting 73 00:03:19,121 --> 00:03:21,720 Speaker 2: thing to do because sometimes we think. You know, the 74 00:03:21,761 --> 00:03:24,081 Speaker 2: way that I used to think was that two powers 75 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 2: couldn't exist at once. Yeah, you know, it's like, oh wow, 76 00:03:26,761 --> 00:03:29,961 Speaker 2: this person is so incredible and intelligent and beautiful and 77 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:32,721 Speaker 2: amazing and you know, a good mum and all these things. 78 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,561 Speaker 2: And it was like automatically that meant that I couldn't 79 00:03:35,601 --> 00:03:38,881 Speaker 2: be that too. It was like there was no room almost, 80 00:03:39,601 --> 00:03:39,801 Speaker 2: you know. 81 00:03:40,041 --> 00:03:41,241 Speaker 1: It's such a good way to put it. 82 00:03:41,361 --> 00:03:43,041 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like, oh, well, if this is true, 83 00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:45,401 Speaker 2: then what that means I'm automatically down here. And then 84 00:03:45,441 --> 00:03:48,081 Speaker 2: it's like self deprecating and it's like, oh, well I'm 85 00:03:48,081 --> 00:03:49,801 Speaker 2: not as smart, I'm not as beautiful. And you go 86 00:03:49,801 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 2: into comparison and there's a really slippery slope from there. 87 00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: It's a very slippery slope. And then on the other 88 00:03:55,641 --> 00:03:58,401 Speaker 1: side of that is when people put you on a pedestal, 89 00:03:58,441 --> 00:04:00,481 Speaker 1: which I have experience, and I was talking to you 90 00:04:00,521 --> 00:04:03,201 Speaker 1: about it the other day. It's a silly example. When 91 00:04:03,241 --> 00:04:06,281 Speaker 1: I was in the fitness industry and I was leanest, fittest, 92 00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:09,081 Speaker 1: like look at my best. Peoplet me on a pedestal 93 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:13,441 Speaker 1: for always eating perfect and being perfect and having my 94 00:04:13,481 --> 00:04:16,121 Speaker 1: life together and all of it. And I remember grocery 95 00:04:16,161 --> 00:04:19,481 Speaker 1: shopping so many times and like someone had done my program, 96 00:04:19,681 --> 00:04:21,281 Speaker 1: like look at my troul and be like, oh my god, 97 00:04:21,281 --> 00:04:22,960 Speaker 1: do you eat that. I didn't if you ate that, 98 00:04:23,041 --> 00:04:24,721 Speaker 1: I thought you were only clean eat that's what your 99 00:04:24,761 --> 00:04:26,801 Speaker 1: diet plan is about clean eating. But you've got chocolate 100 00:04:26,801 --> 00:04:29,361 Speaker 1: in there. Yeah, And I'm like, oho, I felt this 101 00:04:29,641 --> 00:04:32,841 Speaker 1: immense amount of pressure, yeah, to be perfect with my 102 00:04:32,921 --> 00:04:35,481 Speaker 1: eating all the time because I looked this way and 103 00:04:35,561 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: I sold a clean any diet plan. I was all 104 00:04:37,681 --> 00:04:39,601 Speaker 1: about whole food eating. There was no room for me 105 00:04:39,641 --> 00:04:42,801 Speaker 1: to be balanced or enjoying my snacks or treats or whatever. 106 00:04:43,281 --> 00:04:45,361 Speaker 1: I was like, oh gosh, But that was up to 107 00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:49,281 Speaker 1: me to change that narrative, for me to teach and communicate. 108 00:04:49,601 --> 00:04:51,921 Speaker 1: And it doesn't have to be one way or the other. 109 00:04:52,281 --> 00:04:54,601 Speaker 1: But just to bring me back down to like, I'm 110 00:04:54,641 --> 00:04:57,441 Speaker 1: still a human. I get emotional and emotionally eat. Once 111 00:04:57,481 --> 00:04:59,361 Speaker 1: I started talking about that, I think it brought me 112 00:04:59,481 --> 00:05:02,081 Speaker 1: back down to being a human humanized me. Yeah, but 113 00:05:02,121 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 1: it was up to me to openly have those conversations 114 00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:06,841 Speaker 1: and not pretend that I was perfect. Yeah, I think 115 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,481 Speaker 1: I had. Yeah, probably done for way too long. I 116 00:05:09,521 --> 00:05:12,440 Speaker 1: was like, yes, I love eating healthy and cleaning. I 117 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,121 Speaker 1: still do now, but I like to eat ice cream. 118 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:16,441 Speaker 3: Yeah, we like a snack. 119 00:05:17,041 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 1: I eat ninety percent or gadding, but I still like 120 00:05:19,521 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: to fake ten. Yes, yes, I use the best of 121 00:05:23,521 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 1: the best products, but I like a spray of perfume 122 00:05:26,401 --> 00:05:26,841 Speaker 1: shoot me. 123 00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:28,961 Speaker 2: Yeah, she liked to smell good. 124 00:05:29,201 --> 00:05:33,241 Speaker 1: I am not perfect in everything you do. But when 125 00:05:33,281 --> 00:05:34,921 Speaker 1: you put someone on a pedestal, you're putting a lot 126 00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:37,561 Speaker 1: of pressure on them to maintain this image and box 127 00:05:37,561 --> 00:05:38,321 Speaker 1: that you've put them in. 128 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:38,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 129 00:05:38,761 --> 00:05:40,801 Speaker 1: Once again, not productive for you or for them or 130 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,041 Speaker 1: for them. Yeah O true. 131 00:05:42,201 --> 00:05:45,161 Speaker 2: I remember having a friend one time pedestal me a 132 00:05:45,201 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 2: little bit, and I always remember feeling a little bit 133 00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:50,481 Speaker 2: uncomfortable with her because I felt the pressure of being like, oh, well, 134 00:05:50,721 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 2: you don't do anything wrong and I'm like, no, I 135 00:05:52,761 --> 00:05:55,161 Speaker 2: fuck up all the time, you know. And I think 136 00:05:55,241 --> 00:05:57,401 Speaker 2: she used to compliment me a lot on like my wisdom, 137 00:05:57,761 --> 00:05:59,641 Speaker 2: and you know, she's like, we always know the right 138 00:05:59,681 --> 00:06:01,961 Speaker 2: thing to say, and I was like, but no, I don't, 139 00:06:02,081 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: you know, because I care and I have experiences that 140 00:06:04,801 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 2: have helped me get a level of wisdom that you know, 141 00:06:07,521 --> 00:06:10,241 Speaker 2: maybe is beneficial for you at the time. But then 142 00:06:10,641 --> 00:06:12,761 Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, Like now I have to always 143 00:06:12,761 --> 00:06:15,121 Speaker 2: have the right thing to say, and I can't never 144 00:06:15,201 --> 00:06:17,681 Speaker 2: have nothing to say and just be quiet or you know, 145 00:06:17,801 --> 00:06:20,200 Speaker 2: not say the right thing. And I just want yeah, 146 00:06:20,201 --> 00:06:22,961 Speaker 2: I just remember feeling like what you were saying. Now 147 00:06:23,001 --> 00:06:25,001 Speaker 2: I need to uphold this thing of like I always 148 00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:27,121 Speaker 2: have the right thing to say and I always know 149 00:06:27,161 --> 00:06:29,801 Speaker 2: what to say and give good advice and all that 150 00:06:29,841 --> 00:06:30,681 Speaker 2: sort of stuff, and. 151 00:06:31,121 --> 00:06:33,401 Speaker 1: This perfect person that they've made you out to be. 152 00:06:33,481 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 2: And then I absolutely did that all I wanted to do. 153 00:06:36,001 --> 00:06:40,041 Speaker 2: I constructed my life around being well spoken and having 154 00:06:40,041 --> 00:06:42,521 Speaker 2: the right thing to say and always being well presented 155 00:06:42,681 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 2: and being smart and all that sort of stuff. And 156 00:06:44,801 --> 00:06:47,121 Speaker 2: I was just like, I don't feel like that like 157 00:06:47,201 --> 00:06:49,601 Speaker 2: all the time. Just want to be me, And how 158 00:06:49,681 --> 00:06:51,561 Speaker 2: much harder is it to connect with people when they 159 00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:53,121 Speaker 2: see you in that way where you're not allowed to 160 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,841 Speaker 2: make any mistakes. I feel like I'm limited to what 161 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,481 Speaker 2: I can actually do and be within this dynamic. 162 00:06:58,601 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 1: You're not being authentic, no, all of you. Yeah, the 163 00:07:01,641 --> 00:07:05,801 Speaker 1: polished perfection version of you that you think they want 164 00:07:05,801 --> 00:07:07,760 Speaker 1: you to be, to be loved and accepted. 165 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:09,601 Speaker 2: Yeah, And then if you don't show up? Is that 166 00:07:09,641 --> 00:07:12,841 Speaker 2: then what happens if I if I don't project it, 167 00:07:12,841 --> 00:07:15,241 Speaker 2: will they leave me? Am I not good enough? Are 168 00:07:15,281 --> 00:07:16,961 Speaker 2: they going to judge. 169 00:07:16,641 --> 00:07:19,321 Speaker 1: Me more than yeah, someone else? I want to be 170 00:07:19,361 --> 00:07:19,841 Speaker 1: that person? 171 00:07:20,721 --> 00:07:21,041 Speaker 2: Yeah? 172 00:07:21,121 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 1: Yeah? Interesting? 173 00:07:21,921 --> 00:07:25,521 Speaker 2: Isn't it so crazy? I remember this time I had 174 00:07:25,521 --> 00:07:27,361 Speaker 2: a business coach who was also my best friend at 175 00:07:27,361 --> 00:07:29,841 Speaker 2: the time. I just like pedestaled her so much, just 176 00:07:29,881 --> 00:07:32,081 Speaker 2: for everything like business and life and the way that 177 00:07:32,121 --> 00:07:34,441 Speaker 2: she parented and all that sort of stuff. And it 178 00:07:34,561 --> 00:07:37,361 Speaker 2: just became to a point where it actually became unproductive 179 00:07:37,481 --> 00:07:40,361 Speaker 2: because in the moments where I had her on this 180 00:07:40,481 --> 00:07:44,321 Speaker 2: expectation of like her being superhuman, we actually had a 181 00:07:44,321 --> 00:07:46,801 Speaker 2: conversation around her saying those things to me and being like, 182 00:07:46,881 --> 00:07:49,001 Speaker 2: I feel like I can't be anything else, Like I 183 00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:52,521 Speaker 2: can feel the pressure and the pedestal, and like, because 184 00:07:52,521 --> 00:07:54,641 Speaker 2: then I would get disappointed if something, you know, she 185 00:07:54,681 --> 00:07:56,201 Speaker 2: didn't show up the way that I wanted her to, 186 00:07:56,241 --> 00:07:58,401 Speaker 2: all the way that I expected her to in my mind. 187 00:07:58,881 --> 00:08:01,121 Speaker 2: Then I would get really like in thoughts. You know, 188 00:08:01,161 --> 00:08:03,001 Speaker 2: it's like when you put a celebrity up on a 189 00:08:03,041 --> 00:08:06,201 Speaker 2: pedestal and you know, let's say example, you know Justin Bieber, 190 00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:09,161 Speaker 2: he's a child star whatever, and growing up he was 191 00:08:09,481 --> 00:08:11,361 Speaker 2: really good doing all these things. But then he got 192 00:08:11,401 --> 00:08:13,761 Speaker 2: into his teenage years and then he started doing silly 193 00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:17,521 Speaker 2: things and getting arrested and drinking and middle teenager just 194 00:08:17,561 --> 00:08:20,281 Speaker 2: being a teenager, and then everyone is like, why are 195 00:08:20,281 --> 00:08:20,881 Speaker 2: you doing that? 196 00:08:20,881 --> 00:08:21,961 Speaker 1: That's why would you show. 197 00:08:21,841 --> 00:08:22,281 Speaker 3: Up like that? 198 00:08:22,601 --> 00:08:26,321 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right an example, Yeah, yeah, and so make 199 00:08:26,321 --> 00:08:27,521 Speaker 1: mistakes basically, yeah. 200 00:08:27,561 --> 00:08:29,961 Speaker 2: And I just remember feeling like this was obviously not 201 00:08:30,001 --> 00:08:32,361 Speaker 2: productive for her or me because it damages a friendship. 202 00:08:32,361 --> 00:08:35,801 Speaker 2: For one, you can't connect, there's no vulnerability. There's almost 203 00:08:35,801 --> 00:08:38,081 Speaker 2: like this invisible barrier between you and that person because 204 00:08:38,121 --> 00:08:41,081 Speaker 2: you're not on the same wavelength. I just remember feeling 205 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,721 Speaker 2: like overly disappointed about certain things because I had all 206 00:08:43,721 --> 00:08:46,361 Speaker 2: these expectations and even that for me to project it 207 00:08:46,441 --> 00:08:46,721 Speaker 2: onto her. 208 00:08:46,801 --> 00:08:47,481 Speaker 1: Is so unfair. 209 00:08:47,921 --> 00:08:50,081 Speaker 2: It's just unfair to do it, and it's unfair for 210 00:08:50,121 --> 00:08:51,721 Speaker 2: that person to receive it as well. 211 00:08:51,881 --> 00:08:54,721 Speaker 1: It's both ends, isn't that I'm late? I put Levi 212 00:08:54,881 --> 00:08:58,161 Speaker 1: on a pedestal. Yeah, for so many years. Yeah, and 213 00:08:58,201 --> 00:09:01,121 Speaker 1: it really prevented us from having a beautiful friendship. We 214 00:09:01,161 --> 00:09:03,401 Speaker 1: have a really beautiful friendship. We have like a really 215 00:09:03,521 --> 00:09:06,921 Speaker 1: nice bond, very similar on so many levels. But for 216 00:09:07,081 --> 00:09:09,201 Speaker 1: years I put him on such a pedestal that I 217 00:09:09,241 --> 00:09:11,961 Speaker 1: could even talk in front of him. Sometimes. He was just, 218 00:09:12,081 --> 00:09:16,041 Speaker 1: in my eyes, the smartest, most knowledgeable person when it 219 00:09:16,081 --> 00:09:19,801 Speaker 1: comes to health, fitness, business, like everything that I wanted 220 00:09:19,801 --> 00:09:22,961 Speaker 1: to be. He was my business partner. I would struggle 221 00:09:23,001 --> 00:09:26,241 Speaker 1: to like give ideas or voice my opinion or ask 222 00:09:26,321 --> 00:09:28,761 Speaker 1: him a question because I thought he thought I was dumb. Yes, 223 00:09:29,161 --> 00:09:31,401 Speaker 1: and if it would look at me in a certain way, 224 00:09:31,401 --> 00:09:32,481 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, he's judging me. 225 00:09:32,721 --> 00:09:32,921 Speaker 2: Yeah. 226 00:09:33,161 --> 00:09:35,441 Speaker 1: I just could not be myself around him. And I 227 00:09:35,481 --> 00:09:38,161 Speaker 1: used to say he did, I'm so scared of Levi. 228 00:09:38,321 --> 00:09:40,721 Speaker 1: I'm so scared to like talk to him to suggest things. 229 00:09:40,761 --> 00:09:43,121 Speaker 1: I just and then one day I just pulled my 230 00:09:43,401 --> 00:09:44,801 Speaker 1: fucking head out of my own asshole. 231 00:09:45,281 --> 00:09:47,321 Speaker 3: That's like, what the hell are you doing? Yeah, and 232 00:09:47,641 --> 00:09:48,521 Speaker 3: I just got over it. 233 00:09:48,841 --> 00:09:50,841 Speaker 1: I got over it and I pulled him down and 234 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:53,361 Speaker 1: I was just like, this is so stupid. And then 235 00:09:53,361 --> 00:09:55,761 Speaker 1: our friendship can actually start to develop because we could 236 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,921 Speaker 1: just be our souls around each other. I actually should 237 00:09:57,921 --> 00:10:00,801 Speaker 1: ask him if he ever felt that from me, because 238 00:10:00,841 --> 00:10:03,041 Speaker 1: I never really communicated that's what I did to him. 239 00:10:03,041 --> 00:10:05,041 Speaker 1: I always told him, I complimented him, you're so smart, 240 00:10:05,241 --> 00:10:09,201 Speaker 1: so you said that. He never denied it. But I 241 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,281 Speaker 1: wonder if he ever felt that pressure for me, because 242 00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:13,041 Speaker 1: once I kind of let that go, we just developed 243 00:10:13,041 --> 00:10:16,441 Speaker 1: a beautiful friendship. And I also then was like, oh, yeah, 244 00:10:16,481 --> 00:10:19,601 Speaker 1: he's smart and he's great. Perfect example. You ask LEVI 245 00:10:20,241 --> 00:10:23,041 Speaker 1: is a pistachio healthy, most people just want to yes 246 00:10:23,161 --> 00:10:25,641 Speaker 1: or a no or yep. They're full of great healthy fats. 247 00:10:25,681 --> 00:10:28,441 Speaker 1: Don't over consume them. They're quite calorie dnse just a 248 00:10:28,441 --> 00:10:31,761 Speaker 1: little broken down version, right, you ask LEVI is a 249 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:35,841 Speaker 1: pistacio healthy. He will give you two a four pages 250 00:10:37,161 --> 00:10:40,241 Speaker 1: all about starchios and you'll probably read it and half 251 00:10:40,241 --> 00:10:42,041 Speaker 1: the words you've never heard of in your life. So 252 00:10:42,081 --> 00:10:44,201 Speaker 1: he was doing this in our business to these girls 253 00:10:44,201 --> 00:10:45,761 Speaker 1: that wanting to lose weight or want it to be healthy, 254 00:10:45,801 --> 00:10:47,881 Speaker 1: and I'll be like, what the fuck is he just written? 255 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,201 Speaker 1: So I realized he had his strength and the knowledge, 256 00:10:50,201 --> 00:10:51,721 Speaker 1: but I had the strength of breaking it down in 257 00:10:51,761 --> 00:10:53,961 Speaker 1: a way that women could actually understand. We're a really 258 00:10:53,961 --> 00:10:56,561 Speaker 1: good team because some things actually don't know or I'm 259 00:10:56,561 --> 00:10:59,441 Speaker 1: not qualified dancer. He's qualified natural path and nutritionist, so 260 00:10:59,481 --> 00:11:01,441 Speaker 1: he's always kind of be in the backbone of everything 261 00:11:01,441 --> 00:11:04,521 Speaker 1: that I've done. But I could see my strength and 262 00:11:04,561 --> 00:11:06,321 Speaker 1: see his. So I took them off the pedestal and 263 00:11:06,321 --> 00:11:07,761 Speaker 1: it kind of just evened us out, and I'm like, 264 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,241 Speaker 1: let's work together. Yes, And from there, like I just 265 00:11:10,241 --> 00:11:13,801 Speaker 1: felt like our business grew, our relationship grew. Everything felt 266 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,521 Speaker 1: so much better. It was a huge lesson for me 267 00:11:15,561 --> 00:11:17,921 Speaker 1: to be like, why do you put these people up 268 00:11:17,961 --> 00:11:20,801 Speaker 1: so high and then you push yourself so far down 269 00:11:21,401 --> 00:11:23,681 Speaker 1: that your old stories. If I'm too dumb, I'm not capable, 270 00:11:23,721 --> 00:11:26,401 Speaker 1: I can't do it, just like linger, Yeah, And it 271 00:11:26,441 --> 00:11:28,961 Speaker 1: prevents you from growing and developing as a person or 272 00:11:28,961 --> 00:11:31,041 Speaker 1: in your business, and it stops the connection. 273 00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:31,881 Speaker 3: It really does. 274 00:11:32,201 --> 00:11:34,761 Speaker 2: What you just said about how it made you show 275 00:11:34,841 --> 00:11:38,841 Speaker 2: up is so true. Self inflicted right, we pedestal somebody else, 276 00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:41,241 Speaker 2: and then it makes us show up in a really 277 00:11:41,241 --> 00:11:45,201 Speaker 2: incongruent way or inauthentic way. I remember with this friend 278 00:11:45,201 --> 00:11:47,521 Speaker 2: of mine, I never wanted her to see me where 279 00:11:47,521 --> 00:11:50,241 Speaker 2: I was at with money because she was really like 280 00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:52,321 Speaker 2: thriving in her business and stuff like that. So I 281 00:11:52,361 --> 00:11:54,801 Speaker 2: was like, oh, I felt shame around this, and because 282 00:11:55,241 --> 00:11:56,841 Speaker 2: she was doing really well in that, I was like, oh, 283 00:11:56,881 --> 00:11:58,641 Speaker 2: I need to be seen as this too, And so 284 00:11:58,721 --> 00:12:01,641 Speaker 2: I was showing up incongruently because I never wanted her 285 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,121 Speaker 2: to judge me for that, even though she would have 286 00:12:03,201 --> 00:12:05,601 Speaker 2: never judged me for that, but it was my own 287 00:12:05,681 --> 00:12:08,121 Speaker 2: shit of like pedestaling her and then making her this 288 00:12:08,241 --> 00:12:10,961 Speaker 2: superhuman and then being like oh fuck, like if this 289 00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:12,801 Speaker 2: superhuman wants to spend time with me, I've got to 290 00:12:12,801 --> 00:12:15,361 Speaker 2: be superhuman too, And then it put pressure on me 291 00:12:15,481 --> 00:12:18,321 Speaker 2: to perform, and then it was just like, of course 292 00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,881 Speaker 2: you're going to go separate ways when you can't connect 293 00:12:20,921 --> 00:12:22,841 Speaker 2: correctly in a vulnerable way. 294 00:12:22,961 --> 00:12:25,401 Speaker 1: That's so true. I remember even the time, so I 295 00:12:25,441 --> 00:12:27,921 Speaker 1: went to festivals like partied a bit. Yeah, we had 296 00:12:27,961 --> 00:12:29,881 Speaker 1: like I did a surprise birthday for Steve one year, 297 00:12:29,961 --> 00:12:32,521 Speaker 1: and we were all partying and having a good time. 298 00:12:32,561 --> 00:12:34,961 Speaker 1: But like none of us wanted to be around Levi 299 00:12:35,681 --> 00:12:38,761 Speaker 1: because he was so healthy and didn't party that we 300 00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,601 Speaker 1: excluded him. Yeah, we thought he was judging us and 301 00:12:41,641 --> 00:12:43,441 Speaker 1: jawing us for as as a matter of fact, you 302 00:12:43,441 --> 00:12:45,321 Speaker 1: probably don't give two shits. No, I to celebrate and 303 00:12:45,321 --> 00:12:47,001 Speaker 1: have a good time, and yeah, in his own way, 304 00:12:47,241 --> 00:12:49,401 Speaker 1: which is what I do now. I don't drink anymore, 305 00:12:49,801 --> 00:12:51,361 Speaker 1: and I wouldn't judge other people for doing it. Like 306 00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:54,001 Speaker 1: I've got Chess's hens coming up and guarantee I'll be 307 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:56,121 Speaker 1: the only so there. Yeah, they're all going to have 308 00:12:56,241 --> 00:12:59,401 Speaker 1: a big fun night. Yeah you do you Yes, But 309 00:12:59,601 --> 00:13:01,801 Speaker 1: I look back on that night now, I'm like, oh wow, 310 00:13:01,841 --> 00:13:03,561 Speaker 1: we really would have left him out and he would 311 00:13:03,561 --> 00:13:05,841 Speaker 1: have then felt like so isolated. Yeah, like why are 312 00:13:05,841 --> 00:13:07,201 Speaker 1: they leaving me out? Why do they want to hang 313 00:13:07,201 --> 00:13:08,441 Speaker 1: with me? Why do they want to party with me? 314 00:13:08,761 --> 00:13:10,601 Speaker 1: Just because they do it different to you? So it 315 00:13:10,641 --> 00:13:13,201 Speaker 1: does It really prevents you from having a beautiful connection 316 00:13:13,441 --> 00:13:16,121 Speaker 1: and yeah, you're not showing up authentically, and then you 317 00:13:16,121 --> 00:13:18,921 Speaker 1: feel shamedful what you're doing, you know, just like owning 318 00:13:18,961 --> 00:13:20,201 Speaker 1: who you are and what you want to do for 319 00:13:20,281 --> 00:13:21,121 Speaker 1: your life in that moment. 320 00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:21,921 Speaker 3: It's so true. 321 00:13:22,081 --> 00:13:25,361 Speaker 2: Nah, this is such a cool conversation actually, like exploring 322 00:13:25,401 --> 00:13:29,361 Speaker 2: both sides of what happens when you pedestal somebody, how 323 00:13:29,361 --> 00:13:31,241 Speaker 2: it feels, how it might feel for that person. 324 00:13:31,601 --> 00:13:32,081 Speaker 1: This is cool. 325 00:13:32,121 --> 00:13:34,081 Speaker 2: It's almost like it gives even for me just listening 326 00:13:34,121 --> 00:13:36,081 Speaker 2: and having this conversation with you, it's like a deeper 327 00:13:36,161 --> 00:13:39,641 Speaker 2: understanding of what kind of goes on when this does happen. 328 00:13:39,921 --> 00:13:42,081 Speaker 2: It's cool to bring awareness to it, to be mindful 329 00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,081 Speaker 2: of where we are showing up like this still. 330 00:13:43,961 --> 00:13:47,361 Speaker 1: Is it anyone on a pedestal now? In like right now? Actively? 331 00:13:47,601 --> 00:13:49,081 Speaker 3: I mean for me for sure, I. 332 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:52,201 Speaker 2: Put you on a pedestal, but not in an unproductive way. 333 00:13:52,441 --> 00:13:54,961 Speaker 2: Me too with you, Like I feel like it's more 334 00:13:55,121 --> 00:13:58,001 Speaker 2: admiration inspiration. I just have so much love for you, 335 00:13:58,081 --> 00:14:01,161 Speaker 2: and I really admire the way that you live your life, 336 00:14:01,201 --> 00:14:03,481 Speaker 2: Like in terms of being a parent, Like when I 337 00:14:03,481 --> 00:14:05,441 Speaker 2: watch you parent the kids, member even say like, oh 338 00:14:05,481 --> 00:14:06,401 Speaker 2: that would be so nice. 339 00:14:06,561 --> 00:14:07,681 Speaker 3: Yeah, I love. 340 00:14:07,481 --> 00:14:09,481 Speaker 2: The way that you do. It's such a gentle parent. 341 00:14:09,961 --> 00:14:12,681 Speaker 2: You're an awesome business woman, You're an incredible friend, Like 342 00:14:12,721 --> 00:14:14,681 Speaker 2: there are just aspects of you that I just love 343 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:17,161 Speaker 2: and adoor, but I wouldn't say that it's unproductive. Yeah, 344 00:14:17,201 --> 00:14:19,921 Speaker 2: I think I've been able to really humanize people now 345 00:14:20,081 --> 00:14:23,281 Speaker 2: because I didn't before. You know, I've really experienced what 346 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,441 Speaker 2: it's like to pedestal other people and push myself down, 347 00:14:25,441 --> 00:14:27,721 Speaker 2: and I just don't do that anymore for the most part. 348 00:14:28,361 --> 00:14:31,121 Speaker 1: So you've also seen me at some pretty low moments. 349 00:14:31,321 --> 00:14:33,881 Speaker 2: There's lots of humanist in our relationship, so true, you know, 350 00:14:33,961 --> 00:14:37,481 Speaker 2: for us both, and it feels really safe, like yeah, yeah, I. 351 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:41,361 Speaker 1: Put you on a pedestal, and I think you're more qualified, capable, 352 00:14:41,361 --> 00:14:43,081 Speaker 1: and smarter than me. And I openly say that all 353 00:14:43,081 --> 00:14:45,801 Speaker 1: the time. Yeah, You're like, well, notice it when it 354 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:47,121 Speaker 1: pops up. I'm like, ah, I can't do that. 355 00:14:47,521 --> 00:14:48,321 Speaker 3: You're like, yes you can. 356 00:14:48,401 --> 00:14:49,881 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you're doing it with me, And you 357 00:14:49,921 --> 00:14:52,641 Speaker 2: know what, that blows my mind because I think the 358 00:14:53,121 --> 00:14:55,801 Speaker 2: same in my own way. Like for me, I'm like, 359 00:14:56,001 --> 00:14:58,721 Speaker 2: you're an incredible business woman, much more than what I am, 360 00:15:00,041 --> 00:15:01,881 Speaker 2: because you've had so much experience in what you've done. 361 00:15:01,881 --> 00:15:03,761 Speaker 2: I'm like, you absolutely know more than what I do. 362 00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:05,961 Speaker 2: And I'm just like that just is what it is. 363 00:15:06,001 --> 00:15:07,001 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm catching up. 364 00:15:07,761 --> 00:15:09,841 Speaker 1: You know. But I'm like, you're so good at spreadsheets. 365 00:15:09,841 --> 00:15:11,921 Speaker 1: I can't even look at that spreadsheet having a peck attack. 366 00:15:12,521 --> 00:15:14,401 Speaker 1: She like showed me the other day all the spreadsheets 367 00:15:14,441 --> 00:15:16,761 Speaker 1: for as she rises, and like she's like this green 368 00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:19,441 Speaker 1: color means this, and this yellow and I'm like, yep, yep, yeah, 369 00:15:19,521 --> 00:15:20,081 Speaker 1: lay over. 370 00:15:19,881 --> 00:15:23,521 Speaker 3: My head, pad over. Yeah sounds good, looks like glazing over, 371 00:15:23,641 --> 00:15:26,521 Speaker 3: Like shut up, like great, I'm just gonna go make 372 00:15:26,561 --> 00:15:28,481 Speaker 3: us lunch. Finish off. Yes. 373 00:15:28,521 --> 00:15:30,241 Speaker 2: When that was happening, I was like, oh, so nice 374 00:15:30,241 --> 00:15:31,801 Speaker 2: that she's doing that. I'm so happy doing this. 375 00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,401 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I'm like I can take care of her 376 00:15:33,481 --> 00:15:33,841 Speaker 3: this way. 377 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,881 Speaker 2: You know, what you do really beautifully that I struggle 378 00:15:35,921 --> 00:15:41,201 Speaker 2: with is storytelling. You're really really fucking good at storytelling, 379 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,001 Speaker 2: and I just get like lost in your stories and 380 00:15:43,041 --> 00:15:44,401 Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, I would love to be able to 381 00:15:44,481 --> 00:15:44,681 Speaker 2: do that. 382 00:15:44,881 --> 00:15:46,681 Speaker 1: I love that. So is this how I teach? Yeah? 383 00:15:46,721 --> 00:15:48,201 Speaker 1: I don't think I'm super smart, Like I don't think 384 00:15:48,241 --> 00:15:51,841 Speaker 1: i'm super book smart, but I teach through storytelling. I 385 00:15:51,881 --> 00:15:52,961 Speaker 1: teach through my own lessons. 386 00:15:53,001 --> 00:15:54,761 Speaker 3: You absolutely do. You're really good at it. 387 00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:56,881 Speaker 1: I think because I've always learned like that. When I 388 00:15:56,921 --> 00:15:59,481 Speaker 1: did my first Tony Robins. Course, I learnt the most 389 00:15:59,561 --> 00:16:03,921 Speaker 1: when he was storytelling through his experiences, or when someone 390 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,681 Speaker 1: would stand up and they would tell their story and 391 00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:08,361 Speaker 1: then he would break down why they are who they are, 392 00:16:08,521 --> 00:16:10,361 Speaker 1: why they're doing what they're doing. Yeah, where to go 393 00:16:10,401 --> 00:16:13,041 Speaker 1: from here? Like, I'm very engaged in that. I would 394 00:16:13,121 --> 00:16:15,361 Speaker 1: much prefer to learn from someone's storytelling. So it comes 395 00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:16,721 Speaker 1: quite natural from me, I think. 396 00:16:16,841 --> 00:16:19,521 Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, it's cool to see as well because different 397 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:22,201 Speaker 2: people like learn differently as well. Like I think for me, 398 00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:24,841 Speaker 2: maybe that's why I do business the way that I do. Yeah, 399 00:16:24,841 --> 00:16:26,201 Speaker 2: Like I coach the way that I do. I'm very 400 00:16:26,241 --> 00:16:29,801 Speaker 2: like educational. Yeah, I feel like I lean towards that way. 401 00:16:29,801 --> 00:16:31,961 Speaker 2: I don't mean too, but it just comes natural for me. 402 00:16:32,001 --> 00:16:33,401 Speaker 1: And I think I'm the opposite too, because I think 403 00:16:33,441 --> 00:16:35,441 Speaker 1: I've got that old story that I'm dumb, Like I'm 404 00:16:35,481 --> 00:16:38,081 Speaker 1: not that educated. I failed school, didn't go to Uni. 405 00:16:38,641 --> 00:16:41,281 Speaker 1: I've only done like some basic courses. Yeah, I don't 406 00:16:41,321 --> 00:16:42,521 Speaker 1: lean on education, and. 407 00:16:42,481 --> 00:16:45,401 Speaker 2: See I hide behind education because I think that my 408 00:16:45,561 --> 00:16:48,921 Speaker 2: personal stories aren't valuable enough. Yeah, So I'm like with education, 409 00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:52,321 Speaker 2: I'm like, well there are facts, they're a study. Yeah, 410 00:16:52,361 --> 00:16:54,681 Speaker 2: and I'm not super science based, but I'm very like 411 00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,641 Speaker 2: education based. It just feels more natural and I feel 412 00:16:57,641 --> 00:16:58,881 Speaker 2: like I hide behind that sometimes. 413 00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:02,481 Speaker 1: Yeah, so interesting, Hey, but they're both great, they're both amazing. Yeah, 414 00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:04,281 Speaker 1: that's why we work so well together too, because it's 415 00:17:04,441 --> 00:17:07,241 Speaker 1: different bespect learning is different ways to teach and how 416 00:17:07,281 --> 00:17:09,400 Speaker 1: you teach other people would really love, but then other 417 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,521 Speaker 1: people might not get it and vice versa, and I 418 00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,160 Speaker 1: sorry tell them. Might be some people that are like, 419 00:17:13,201 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: shut the fuck up, where's the facts? And you know 420 00:17:15,721 --> 00:17:17,321 Speaker 1: when we shut the fuck up. 421 00:17:18,521 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 2: When we bring those together, I feel like if bridges 422 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,480 Speaker 2: a really cool gap, it does you know, it flows 423 00:17:23,481 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 2: so nicely to your own We're just amazing too. 424 00:17:27,761 --> 00:17:30,641 Speaker 1: So yeah, point of this episode was like, who are 425 00:17:30,681 --> 00:17:34,441 Speaker 1: you putting on a pedestal? Is it productive? How does 426 00:17:34,441 --> 00:17:36,801 Speaker 1: it serve you? How do you think it feels on 427 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:41,561 Speaker 1: the other foot, where's the pressure? And just humanize everyone. 428 00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,601 Speaker 1: Yeah we're all doing this thing together. Yeah, we're all learning. 429 00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:47,521 Speaker 1: Let's take a breath. Just accept everyone where they're at. 430 00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:49,400 Speaker 1: No in trust that everyone's doing the best they can with. 431 00:17:49,481 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 1: Yeah they have. 432 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,881 Speaker 2: And if you are the person who is being put 433 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,120 Speaker 2: on a pedestal, this is where you actually get to 434 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 2: do some self reflection and ask yourself, where are you 435 00:17:56,761 --> 00:17:59,160 Speaker 2: presenting yourself as the perfect version that like I was 436 00:17:59,201 --> 00:18:01,721 Speaker 2: doing Yeah, I was doing it too, So where are 437 00:18:01,761 --> 00:18:05,321 Speaker 2: you actually buying into that mold and not showing people 438 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:08,801 Speaker 2: your heart, not showing people the vulnerable moments, the things 439 00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,801 Speaker 2: that you're going through day to day. And it's not 440 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,521 Speaker 2: about bonding over, it's not trauma bonding right, It's just 441 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:17,921 Speaker 2: about letting people in and that vulnerability bridges the gap 442 00:18:17,961 --> 00:18:19,761 Speaker 2: and allows people to really see you for who you 443 00:18:19,801 --> 00:18:22,201 Speaker 2: are and not this image that they've kind of got 444 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:26,361 Speaker 2: you stuck in. I love that amazing. 445 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:28,321 Speaker 1: We'll see you on Friday. 446 00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:28,721 Speaker 2: Bye.