Speaker 1: Good, our gang. I hope you're bloody terrific. So this
Speaker 1: is this is something that I talk about a lot,
Speaker 1: and I've spoken about a lot over the years, is
Speaker 1: the fact that you and I can be in the
Speaker 1: same conversation but not having the same experience. We can
Speaker 1: be looking at exactly the same thing and we both
Speaker 1: see something different. We hear a word, it means something
Speaker 1: to me, it means something different to you. And that's
Speaker 1: because there are things that happened to us around us,
Speaker 1: because of us, in spite of us, events, situation, circumstances
Speaker 1: that happen in our external, physical, three dimensional world. And
Speaker 1: then you and me we see that, we experience that,
Speaker 1: we hear it, we feel it, we touch it, we whatever,
Speaker 1: and then we give it meaning. And we give it
Speaker 1: meaning based on what we think or what we believe,
Speaker 1: or what we know or more accurately, what we think
Speaker 1: we know, our feelings, our opinions, our biases, our previous experiences,
Speaker 1: our history, our education, our inclination, the stuff that we're
Speaker 1: scared of, the stuff we're inspired by. All of these
Speaker 1: things are variables, cognitive and emotional and experiential variables which
Speaker 1: influence the way that you and I see stuff, and
Speaker 1: the way that you and I see stuff or interpret
Speaker 1: stuff is a subjective thing, which is why something happens
Speaker 1: in front of you and me and you have a
Speaker 1: different story about the thing because you're not me. Your
Speaker 1: mind is not my mind. Your brain works differently to mine.
Speaker 1: You've been programmed and educated and influenced and poked and
Speaker 1: products cognitively and emotionally and sociologically over the course of
Speaker 1: your life in one way. I've been influenced in another way,
Speaker 1: And so we're looking at the same thing, but we're
Speaker 1: not seeing the same thing because Craig's version of the
Speaker 1: world is subjective. So in a way, I coexist in
Speaker 1: the world and Craig's world my version of the world,
Speaker 1: and I think problems happen when we mistake our version
Speaker 1: of the world for the world. We mistake our subjective
Speaker 1: interpretation for a global, objective truth, and then we get
Speaker 1: very defiant about that. So what I'm talking about today is,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm not an expert in this, but I
Speaker 1: think I have a pretty good grasp of it. So
Speaker 1: if you can bear with me, this is not scripted clearly,
Speaker 1: and there's only me and I'm sitting by myself thinking
Speaker 1: out loud, and so trying to explore this idea of
Speaker 1: the impossibility of objectivity, or that our capacity we have
Speaker 1: to be somewhere in the ballpark of objective. I'm kind
Speaker 1: of thinking out loud as I go, so in advance.
Speaker 1: I apologize for my clumsiness and perhaps for the lack
Speaker 1: of inspiration or flow, but I just think this is
Speaker 1: a I genuinely think this is a really fucking important
Speaker 1: concept for people to grasp because I think so many
Speaker 1: people spend their life looking at things through a certain
Speaker 1: lens without realizing they even have a fucking lens. They
Speaker 1: just think that what they think is what is You know,
Speaker 1: so that ain't true. That ain't true, And sometimes your
Speaker 1: version of events will align with actual events, or sometimes
Speaker 1: the way that you see something is consensual amongst among
Speaker 1: a group, right, so you might be somewhere close to
Speaker 1: being accurate in the way that it's seen more globally.
Speaker 1: And there'll be times where you're completely inaccurate, wildly off track,
Speaker 1: as am I. We all will be. But so let's
Speaker 1: start with identifying or explaining what objectivity is. So objectivity
Speaker 1: is it is the ability to observe, assess, or respond
Speaker 1: to something without being influenced by your personal feelings, your opinions,
Speaker 1: your background, your bias is, your wants, likes, needs, experiences,
Speaker 1: and even your genetics. It's about seeing things as they
Speaker 1: are versus how you want them to be or fear
Speaker 1: them to be, or how you have can conditioned being
Speaker 1: conditioned to believe they are. And this is the same
Speaker 1: for me. This is you, this is me, this is everyone.
Speaker 1: And so in Layman's terms, we might say that objectivity
Speaker 1: is that mythical unicorn where you kind of magically separate
Speaker 1: yourself from your ego, your beliefs, your baggage, culture, hormones, genetics,
Speaker 1: your morning mood and just see something as it is. Well,
Speaker 1: good luck with that. Because I don't know that any
Speaker 1: of us do that. I will say I think there
Speaker 1: are things that, of course, we can be more objective
Speaker 1: about than others because we perhaps don't have any pre
Speaker 1: existing thoughts, ideas, beliefs, or understanding of a certain thing.
Speaker 1: So when someone says to me, for example, hey Craig,
Speaker 1: I want to teach you the best way to build
Speaker 1: a tree house for your nephew that I don't have,
Speaker 1: I want to teach you. I want to so I
Speaker 1: don't have any I don't have an idea of how
Speaker 1: to do that, Like I don't have a pre existing concept.
Speaker 1: I have no fucking idea, no theories, I have no understanding.
Speaker 1: That's never been of interest to me. So when old
Speaker 1: mate says to me, let me tell you how to
Speaker 1: build a tree house, this is the best way to
Speaker 1: do it, I'm probably going to be way more open minded, neutral,
Speaker 1: objective than if they say to me, Hey, Craig, I
Speaker 1: want to talk to you about how to get in shape.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you about the best way to train,
Speaker 1: the best way to work out, the best things to
Speaker 1: do in a gym. Well, good luck with that, because
Speaker 1: I got all my own fucking thoughts, I got all
Speaker 1: my own baggage, I've got all my own experiences, I've
Speaker 1: got all my pre existing stuff, And good luck trying
Speaker 1: to teach me, because I fucking know everything. Wink wink
Speaker 1: with me. So I think that depending on the conversation,
Speaker 1: depending on the topic or the issue, I think we
Speaker 1: can be more or less objective. But also keeping in
Speaker 1: mind that even when old mate is teaching me about
Speaker 1: how to build a tree house, it's still me. It's
Speaker 1: still it's still me looking through the Craig lens. The
Speaker 1: fact that I've never thought about building a treehouse, or
Speaker 1: I've never built one, doesn't mean that my emotional stuff
Speaker 1: or psychological stuff, or my hesitation to do anything that
Speaker 1: resembles handyman work, or my underlying belief that I'm fucking
Speaker 1: useless with tools, or all of those things, they're going
Speaker 1: to influence that. Even though I've never thought about building
Speaker 1: a treehouse, there's going to be stuff there which will
Speaker 1: make me more or less objective and open minded. Right,
Speaker 1: And we love to see ourselves as being open minded.
Speaker 1: We like it because it's like it's culturally and socially
Speaker 1: seen as a noble trait or characteristic. It's like it's
Speaker 1: a desirable thing. He's so she's so open minded, so objective,
Speaker 1: so easy going, you know, like not prejudiced, not biased,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah. And it's it's a good feeling,
Speaker 1: because who the fuck wants to be seen as being
Speaker 1: closed minded? Who doesn't want to be objective? Who wants
Speaker 1: to be shut down emotionally and mentally, and who wants
Speaker 1: to be locked into a certain way of thinking and being? Well,
Speaker 1: we say we don't. We say we don't want that,
Speaker 1: but fucking he fuck Batman. Have a look around how
Speaker 1: many people, including me and you. At times, I'm sure
Speaker 1: that's what we are. I think we're way more closed
Speaker 1: minded about many things than we are open minded or objective.
Speaker 1: We are very very very much intertwined, intertwined with our
Speaker 1: subjective story that we created because we are identified with
Speaker 1: that story. That story makes me feel like I know,
Speaker 1: and I like knowing. I don't like not knowing. Also
Speaker 1: that subjective story that I have about that objective thing
Speaker 1: that gives me a level of comfort and familiarity and certainty.
Speaker 1: And I like all of those things. And what I
Speaker 1: don't like is one I don't like someone knowing when
Speaker 1: I don't know, and then they challenge my thoughts. Right,
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to fuck and listen to them.
Speaker 1: I'm going to stay in the echo chamber. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm going to get trapped in this thing called confirmation bias,
Speaker 1: where I only listen to people who agree with me,
Speaker 1: or think like me, or are in my thought cult
Speaker 1: because that's where I feel safe. That's where I'm around
Speaker 1: people and ideas that are familiar to me, and I love, familiarity, right,
Speaker 1: and this is this is a very very very common thing.
Speaker 1: Like we we tend not to realize in the moment
Speaker 1: that we what we call our truth our knowledge is
Speaker 1: really just or what we call I should say truth
Speaker 1: or knowledge is really just our our truth and knowledge.
Speaker 1: And sometimes you know, maybe we're right, maybe we're right
Speaker 1: a lot, maybe you're right a lot. I don't know.
Speaker 1: But also, guess what you're not right? Sometimes guess what
Speaker 1: you're wrong. Guess what not because you're bad or weird
Speaker 1: or flawed or evil. But you've been wrong about a
Speaker 1: lot of things. And the reason I know this is
Speaker 1: because you're a human. I've been wrong about probably as
Speaker 1: many things as I've been right. And the older that
Speaker 1: I get, the less certain I get, and the more
Speaker 1: open I am to acknowledging that I'm getting things wrong.
Speaker 1: Every day, I'm trying, I'm learning, I'm doing what I can,
Speaker 1: but I have to acknowledge my flaws and my humanity,
Speaker 1: and I have to realize that no, this is not
Speaker 1: this is not a universal truth. This is my version,
Speaker 1: This is my understanding, This is my story, This is
Speaker 1: my interpretation of something that is much bigger than me,
Speaker 1: and even when we even when we try to be neutral, Like,
Speaker 1: the thing is that you wherever you are, there are
Speaker 1: your beliefs. Wherever you are, there are your biases. That's
Speaker 1: wherever you are, there's your upbringing, your family, the echoes
Speaker 1: of decades of conversations, the imprint, the psychological, emotional, sociological
Speaker 1: imprint of your dad's thinking and your mum's thinking, and
Speaker 1: the trauma and the joy and the hopes and the
Speaker 1: culture and the education and the religion, all of that
Speaker 1: shit that's just been programmed into you. You can't leave
Speaker 1: that behind like you take it everywhere with you. And again,
Speaker 1: this is not good or bad. This is something to
Speaker 1: be aware of. This is something to be cognizant of,
Speaker 1: which is why I'm really comfortable to say to people, Look,
Speaker 1: this is what I think about. You know. In fact,
Speaker 1: I had a meeting. This not a meeting. I had
Speaker 1: a coffee this morning. I'm recording this on a Saturday
Speaker 1: with Tommy, and Tommy and I were talking about God,
Speaker 1: as we did briefly the other day Tommy Jacket, and
Speaker 1: not for a long time, but just for a moment,
Speaker 1: and I said, you know, basically, we got to the
Speaker 1: point where we're talking about what we believe. And I said, well,
Speaker 1: this is what I believe. But also I believe that
Speaker 1: because in part that's familiar to me, in part I'm
Speaker 1: comfortable with that, in part I was programmed this way.
Speaker 1: There are some things that I don't align with or
Speaker 1: don't think anymore, but there's a lot that I do. Now.
Speaker 1: If I am being somewhere in the ballpark of objective,
Speaker 1: I need to say, this is just Craig's version, This
Speaker 1: is my story, this is my understanding. This is my
Speaker 1: subjective interpretation of something way fucking bigger than me that
Speaker 1: I'll probably never understand. And if I'm being a little
Speaker 1: bit humble and aware and real and raw, I have
Speaker 1: to say I could be wrong. I could be wrong
Speaker 1: about some of it, a bit of it, a lot
Speaker 1: of it, or none of it. But I'm definitely not
Speaker 1: wrong about none of it. There's definitely a shit that
Speaker 1: I'm getting wrong on a daily basis, and that's okay.
Speaker 1: And I think the moment that we recognize that we
Speaker 1: don't see things as they are, see things as we are,
Speaker 1: Thanks and as Nint who said, we don't see things
Speaker 1: as they are, we see things as we are, the
Speaker 1: moment that we realize that the moment that we go ah,
Speaker 1: this is just me looking at the world through the
Speaker 1: Craig window. This is me looking through this lens. This
Speaker 1: is me looking at this through my understanding on my vocabulary,
Speaker 1: or the lens of my education, or the lens of
Speaker 1: my self limiting beliefs, or whatever the fucking lens is.
Speaker 1: This is just me seeing that thing. Whatever, that stimulus
Speaker 1: over there, that event, that circumstance, that's human, those words,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. That's just my interpretation of a thing.
Speaker 1: And the moment that we realize this is not the thing,
Speaker 1: this is my version of the thing, then I believe
Speaker 1: we actually move closer towards a level of or a
Speaker 1: greater degree perhaps of openness, objectivity, and perhaps neutrality where
Speaker 1: we're not pulled one way or the other so much
Speaker 1: by our bias, you know, like confirmation bias is our
Speaker 1: brain's favorite shortcut. Like we unconsciously and all humans do this.
Speaker 1: We unconsciously seek out the stuff that confirms what we believe,
Speaker 1: what we think, our values, our ideas, and without really
Speaker 1: thinking about it, we discard or discredit anything that contradicts
Speaker 1: us or what we believe because that other opinion or
Speaker 1: that other version of truth or that other version of
Speaker 1: what is feels threatening when it challenges our self story
Speaker 1: or our worldview, and we don't like being threatened. In fact,
Speaker 1: our brain one of the things that our brain is
Speaker 1: really hardwired for is confirmation and familiarity and comfort. So
Speaker 1: it's not really we're not really looking for objectivity. We
Speaker 1: like the idea of it, but when the boots are
Speaker 1: on the ground in the middle of it, it's really
Speaker 1: just mental self soothing, where where we're finding something that's comfortable.
Speaker 1: And you know this is I mean, let me zoom
Speaker 1: back a little bit. You know, we think about like
Speaker 1: in personal development and self help and you know, human behavior, whatever,
Speaker 1: whatever big banner we want to put over the top
Speaker 1: of all of the stuff that I do with you
Speaker 1: and share with you. Like we you know, we love
Speaker 1: the idea of being a better person. We love that.
Speaker 1: We love the idea of eating a great diet. We
Speaker 1: love the idea of living our life which is aligned
Speaker 1: with our values. We love the idea of being a
Speaker 1: better communicator and a better parent. We love the idea
Speaker 1: of knowing more and doing better. We love the idea
Speaker 1: of improving performance and outcomes and having a spiritual life
Speaker 1: and being having greater connection with others. And we love
Speaker 1: all of these things that are constant conversations on this show.
Speaker 1: But as I've said many times, away from the idea,
Speaker 1: away from the thing that we like, away from the
Speaker 1: intention or the desire, it ain't fucking easy. Like the
Speaker 1: idea of open mindedness or objectivity, let's call it that.
Speaker 1: That's the title, the idea of objectivity. It's really nice.
Speaker 1: I want to be. Yeah, Craig, Craig's really objective, like
Speaker 1: he really you know, minimum bias, really open minded, really neutral,
Speaker 1: talk to him about anything. Yeah, no, that's not you can.
Speaker 1: And I'm definitely better than some, but not all. And
Speaker 1: some days you'll find me depending on where where I
Speaker 1: am at, because I'm a human, i might be having
Speaker 1: a shit day. I'm going to be absolute crap. I'm
Speaker 1: going to be defensive. I'm going to find the story
Speaker 1: that suits me. I'm going to be completely subjectively wrapped
Speaker 1: in my own idea because in that moment, it fucking
Speaker 1: suits me. And this is the disparity, This is the space,
Speaker 1: This is the divergence between self help theory and life. Life.
Speaker 1: Life is where we change. Life is where in the
Speaker 1: middle of the shit and in the middle of the discomfort,
Speaker 1: in the middle of the unfamiliarity, in the middle of
Speaker 1: that interaction with that person where you want to be
Speaker 1: defensive because they might be telling you something that does
Speaker 1: an align with your something, and you fucking love your something.
Speaker 1: You want to defend your something. Your something's the right something.
Speaker 1: Fuck they're something right. Well, this moment that I'm describing
Speaker 1: that is the moment where you and me need to
Speaker 1: go hang on, is there something in there? Something? Is
Speaker 1: there something in there something? Is there any chance that
Speaker 1: my thought, idea, in my something, my belief, my standard,
Speaker 1: my story, Is there any chance that it's a bit wrong,
Speaker 1: quite a bit wrong, or completely fucking wrong. And it's
Speaker 1: not so much about truth or facts or information as
Speaker 1: it is about me protecting something that I want to protect.
Speaker 1: And fuck you because I've thought this for a long time.
Speaker 1: See here's the thing, right, Being really open minded an
Speaker 1: objective requires great strength, great strength, great humility, great awareness,
Speaker 1: great resilience. Like this is really fucking hard. The idea
Speaker 1: of it requires no effort me talking about it, just
Speaker 1: talking doing it. And this is true for all things
Speaker 1: in the human experience. When we're trying to grow, learn, evolve, adapt,
Speaker 1: become better. Like you and I are all programmed, even
Speaker 1: if we don't realize it. An objectivity or a level
Speaker 1: of objectivity requires us to step outside of our or
Speaker 1: at the very least be aware of our programming and
Speaker 1: aware of the things that perhaps stand between us and
Speaker 1: the what is, the what isness of reality beyond our reality,
Speaker 1: the what isness that lives beyond our window or our
Speaker 1: curtain or our bias. Most of us live in echo chambers,
Speaker 1: you know, pay attention to the same things, the same
Speaker 1: news sources, the same people, the same algorithms, the same shows,
Speaker 1: the same the same everything. And it's not objectivity. That
Speaker 1: ain't objectivity, it's just groupthink. This is me just living
Speaker 1: in a cult of thought. This is me, This is
Speaker 1: me finding something that makes me feel better about what
Speaker 1: I already believe. You know so much of my journey,
Speaker 1: you know, with my PhD and with all the other
Speaker 1: things that I'm sorry to bore you with all my shit.
Speaker 1: By the way, it must be fucking mindlessly boring to
Speaker 1: keep hearing me bang on about stuff. But my life
Speaker 1: is my life, isn't it. Uh? But you know, there
Speaker 1: are so many things I've had to unlearn. There are
Speaker 1: so many things that I've needed to admit that I
Speaker 1: didn't know, or I needed to admit that something that
Speaker 1: I thought was wrong. And we don't want to I'm
Speaker 1: globalizing here. You might not be like this, and if
Speaker 1: you're not fucking gou but we don't like to be
Speaker 1: wrong publicly. We don't even want to be wrong in
Speaker 1: front of one person, let alone fucking publicly. Like I
Speaker 1: look back at the stuff that I've done on this show,
Speaker 1: and some of it's really good. I think some of
Speaker 1: it's in the ballpark of good to great maybe, and
Speaker 1: then some of its shits, and some of it's in
Speaker 1: the middle. Some conversations I did pretty well, some I
Speaker 1: did pretty bad. Some were are a bit of a
Speaker 1: train wreck, you know. But the truth is just the truth.
Speaker 1: Like me telling myself that all of the work that
Speaker 1: I do is somewhere between good and amazing is me
Speaker 1: being deluded because it's just not true. It's just not true.
Speaker 1: I am not the best, I am not incredible. I
Speaker 1: am not And people go, oh, stop talking yourself down. No,
Speaker 1: this is not talking yourself down. This has been practical
Speaker 1: and real. This is like, you know, there are days
Speaker 1: where I do really good work. There are days where
Speaker 1: I'm a fucking catastrophe and I don't even want to
Speaker 1: be around me, and I am me. But I think
Speaker 1: I think part of the secret is is just doing
Speaker 1: what I'm doing now, which is saying, hey, you know what,
Speaker 1: I don't know of all the stuff there is to know,
Speaker 1: Like I feel like this. I feel like mankind humanity.
Speaker 1: We think of all the things there is to know,
Speaker 1: we know ninety nine percent. You know, let's say of
Speaker 1: everything there is to know, that equals one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: I feel like mankind we currently think that we know
Speaker 1: about now. You know, there's still some stuff to learn,
Speaker 1: but maybe ninety percent, I think, And this is just
Speaker 1: a thought. I can't I can't quote you anything on this.
Speaker 1: I can't even give you a I probably could, but
Speaker 1: I'm not going to. But I don't think we really
Speaker 1: understand or know or comprehend one percent of all there
Speaker 1: is to know for humans. Let's call that one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: I don't think we know one. That's not to say
Speaker 1: I think we're globally ignorant and stupid. I don't think
Speaker 1: that either, But I just think we can't even begin
Speaker 1: to understand what there is beyond the tininess of the
Speaker 1: human mind and the tininess of the human brain. We
Speaker 1: think brains are fucking brilliant. Well they are, but they're limited.
Speaker 1: You know that my thinking is limited, my understanding is limited,
Speaker 1: My cognitive horsepower is limited. And so being able to
Speaker 1: recognize that you know most of what there is to know,
Speaker 1: I don't know and probably never will know. And also
Speaker 1: that's fine, that's fine. Being able to learn things that
Speaker 1: quiet knowledge expose ourselves to new ideas and thoughts and
Speaker 1: information and research is great. But also to be able
Speaker 1: to when the time is right, when the situation calls
Speaker 1: for it, to be able to unlearn things. Because when
Speaker 1: we've learned things that we have intertwined with the way
Speaker 1: that we live and our identity and our sense of
Speaker 1: who we are the self, and those flaw those ideas
Speaker 1: are in some way flawed. Well, that sets us lf
Speaker 1: up for problems. And one of the problems being that
Speaker 1: you know, I've built a way of living and being
Speaker 1: and doing on perhaps an ideology that is that that
Speaker 1: could be I'm not talking about anything in particular, but
Speaker 1: it could be flawed. It could be flawed. Think about this,
Speaker 1: what if you eat a certain mind. I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about any particular model of eating, so don't try and
Speaker 1: assume I'm just talking globally. Let's say, let's say, you know,
Speaker 1: five years ago, you met someone and they said to you,
Speaker 1: they showed you research, they did all this stuff, and
Speaker 1: they went, you know, this is the best way. People
Speaker 1: haven't caught on yet, but this is the single best
Speaker 1: way to human for human beings to eat. And you
Speaker 1: you brought in, You brought in mentally, you brought in emotionally,
Speaker 1: you brought in socially and behaviorally, and this person just
Speaker 1: they convinced the shit out of you, and you went, fuck,
Speaker 1: I'm on board. Now you're five years down the track,
Speaker 1: and this way of eating is unequivocally intertwined with who
Speaker 1: you are, how you live, and people who don't eat
Speaker 1: like you are dumb and uninformed and they're gonna die
Speaker 1: earlier than you, and blah blah blah blah. Now, thing
Speaker 1: like this, this theoretical example I'm giving, Things like this
Speaker 1: exist all the time, with a myriad of different subjects, right,
Speaker 1: and a myriad of different kind of focuses. Only to
Speaker 1: find out after the five years that, oh my god,
Speaker 1: all of this or some of this was based on
Speaker 1: a flawed idea, only to find out that now I'm
Speaker 1: actually sicker than I would have been if I hadn't
Speaker 1: eaten how I was previously eating, or I've now predisposed
Speaker 1: myself to this condition or that condition because I was
Speaker 1: following flawed science or a flawed idea or whatever it was.
Speaker 1: And this is the challenge. Is when we are when
Speaker 1: we believe a thing will, we're emotional, We're emotional about it.
Speaker 1: And the moment that I am emotional about something that
Speaker 1: I believe to be right, that I am certain about
Speaker 1: that will, now that fucking wears the objectivity there is none.
Speaker 1: Because I know that I'm right. I am un teachable
Speaker 1: now because I know that I'm right, I know that
Speaker 1: my God is the God, so you can't teach me.
Speaker 1: And everyone who doesn't follow my God, or everyone who
Speaker 1: doesn't have the divine conduit to you know, whoever or
Speaker 1: whatever that I have, well, they're going to Hell or
Speaker 1: they're going wherever, wherever it is. I think they're going
Speaker 1: because I'm right. And everyone who doesn't work out this way,
Speaker 1: everyone who doesn't do this kind of training, this kind
Speaker 1: of functional training with kettlebells and this, and that they're dummies,
Speaker 1: they're trapped in the eighties. They're dumb, they don't know.
Speaker 1: And everyone who doesn't invest their money this way, and
Speaker 1: everyone who doesn't realize that that monogamy is stupid. Polygamy
Speaker 1: is how it should be. And this is whatever the
Speaker 1: fucking belief is. And when when that's you, you're gone.
Speaker 1: You're gone because you have built a psychological and emotional
Speaker 1: prison for yourself because for a range of reasons, you
Speaker 1: can't wink wink, you can't be wrong, because you build
Speaker 1: an operating system based on the things that you know
Speaker 1: you are right about. And your brain doesn't want truth.
Speaker 1: It wants comfort. Your brain wants certainty, your brain wants safety,
Speaker 1: your brain wants consistency. And we do it backwards. We rationalize,
Speaker 1: we rationalize backwards. We decide emotionally. We make decisions based
Speaker 1: on fear and anxiety and self preservation, and so we
Speaker 1: make these decisions which are essentially emotionally driven, and then
Speaker 1: we try to justify it with logic and objectivity. Just
Speaker 1: dies in the spin cycle of self justification, like self
Speaker 1: justifification and self rationalization, and it's the opposite of objectivity,
Speaker 1: an open mindedness. All right, so what do we do?
Speaker 1: So you and I are never going to be completely objective.
Speaker 1: And that's because if you or I have any pre
Speaker 1: existing anything, ideas, thoughts, believes, values, experience is conditioning, programming.
Speaker 1: Of course, that's going to influence us. And that's okay.
Speaker 1: That is not a bad thing. What is a good
Speaker 1: thing is to be aware of that. A bad thing
Speaker 1: is to pretend that none of us or none of
Speaker 1: that affects the way that we make a decision. Yep, No,
Speaker 1: I'm totally objective. This does not affect my thinking, This
Speaker 1: does not affect my decision making. It will not affect
Speaker 1: how I treat you or talk to you. It will not.
Speaker 1: That's bullshit, and we all need to know and say
Speaker 1: and admit that that's bullshit. But what I will try
Speaker 1: to do is I will try to be aware of
Speaker 1: my bullshit so that I can You know, this is
Speaker 1: an amazing exercise in self awareness, right, Self awareness and
Speaker 1: self regulation is in the moment. I have to do
Speaker 1: this all the time. There are so many times when
Speaker 1: I want to talk to somebody about let's say, health
Speaker 1: and fitness and wellness and nutrition and training is a
Speaker 1: very specific example for me, but you might imagine right now,
Speaker 1: I want to talk to them in a way or
Speaker 1: I'm compelled to just fucking cut to the chase, right
Speaker 1: because I know how to fix this again, wink wink,
Speaker 1: I know how to fix it. And I know you know.
Speaker 1: This is a psychological problem with a physiological outcome, and
Speaker 1: your food's is not the problem, and your your training
Speaker 1: is not the problem, and resources are not the problem.
Speaker 1: It's not a time management issue. It's a psychological issue
Speaker 1: that's creating all of these bad choices and behaviors and
Speaker 1: actions and lifestyle and that outcomes. And I know because
Speaker 1: I'm crak up, I've done this fucking a million times.
Speaker 1: Well guess what, I don't know. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: know a fair bit, but I get shit wrong even
Speaker 1: with this all of the time. I might come in
Speaker 1: with the best intentions to chat to Diane about her health, wellness, fitness,
Speaker 1: energy and so on, and I go, listen, I've got Diana,
Speaker 1: I'm sixty one, I've been doing this fade years. I've
Speaker 1: got forty three years of experience. Bat down the hatchet,
Speaker 1: to sit the fuck down and pay attention, because I'm
Speaker 1: going to fucking blow your head off and change your
Speaker 1: life right. Fourteen minutes later, she walks out because I'm
Speaker 1: a dickhead and I'm not relating and I'm I'm just
Speaker 1: looking at it through the craigfilter. I have no idea,
Speaker 1: no understanding, no objectivity, no awareness of what this is
Speaker 1: for her, because I'm not understanding the objective reality of
Speaker 1: what I'm in the middle of. I'm in the Craig reality.
Speaker 1: I'm all about the subjective truth of what I know
Speaker 1: versus what Diane doesn't know. And you're here because I'm
Speaker 1: the expert. So pay attention. You're welcome, you with me,
Speaker 1: and this is you and me all the time. And
Speaker 1: this is something that we need to be well, we
Speaker 1: don't need to, but I would suggest we need to
Speaker 1: be mindful of something that we lean into get curious about.
Speaker 1: So we're less we're less inclined to want to be right,
Speaker 1: and we're more inclined to want to be curious and
Speaker 1: to understand and to build connection and rapport with people.
Speaker 1: Because that old chestnut we're looking through their window, you know,
Speaker 1: that old chestnut of that I drag out too many
Speaker 1: times of theory of mind is trying to understand their
Speaker 1: version of what is. And if you can understand your
Speaker 1: version of what is and their version of what is,
Speaker 1: and you can understand a perspective or have insight into
Speaker 1: a perspective or a reality or a version of right
Speaker 1: now that isn't yours, then you're opening the objectivity door
Speaker 1: just a little bit wider