WEBVTT - I’m Done Apologising for Being “Too Much” 0:00:00.390 --> 0:00:04.490 Hi, I'm Adele and welcome to Pretty Sure, the podcast 0:00:04.530 --> 0:00:07.370 where we talk about the things everyone thinks about, but 0:00:07.430 --> 0:00:09.730 nobody says out loud. Each week, I'll be sharing my 0:00:09.770 --> 0:00:13.830 Pretty Sure opinions, unpacking the internet's biggest conversations and figuring 0:00:13.890 --> 0:00:14.750 out the things. 0:00:14.650 --> 0:00:17.230 I'm not so sure about right alongside you. 0:00:17.510 --> 0:00:19.970 And if a conversation ever feels a little too heavy, 0:00:20.010 --> 0:00:23.050 we'll always include support resources in the show notes. Please 0:00:23.090 --> 0:00:26.250 take care of yourselves, seek professional help if needed, or 0:00:26.340 --> 0:00:28.760 skip the entire episode if it's not for you. Now, 0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:29.760 let's get into the show. 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:34.040 Good afternoon, if I'm in your ears in the afternoon, that. 0:00:33.960 --> 0:00:36.500 Is, and welcome to Pretty Sure. My name's Adele, if 0:00:36.540 --> 0:00:39.060 we haven't met already. Welcome to the podcast. If this 0:00:39.100 --> 0:00:40.960 is your first time tuning in, you've got a lot 0:00:41.000 --> 0:00:43.690 to catch up on. Moving in, I think straight off 0:00:43.710 --> 0:00:45.949 the bat, Blakey, we'll just go straight into our Pretty Sure. 0:00:46.250 --> 0:00:47.830 Fill them in. I really like this one. 0:00:48.150 --> 0:00:49.830 I'm pretty sure I'm a force of nature. 0:00:50.070 --> 0:00:50.770 Allegedly. 0:00:51.150 --> 0:00:54.050 Allegedly. I'm pretty sure I'm a force of nature. 0:00:54.270 --> 0:00:58.760 Now, Someone a week and a half ago, face to face, 0:00:58.980 --> 0:01:01.730 and it wasn't done in like a malicious manner or anything. 0:01:01.790 --> 0:01:04.649 They literally called me a force of nature. They were like, Adele, 0:01:04.690 --> 0:01:08.470 you are quite literally a force of nature. My initial 0:01:08.770 --> 0:01:14.310 emotional reaction to that was not positive. It actually felt 0:01:14.350 --> 0:01:16.369 like a little bit of a jab between the ribs. 0:01:17.090 --> 0:01:20.559 And I think that I've been digesting it over the 0:01:20.580 --> 0:01:21.980 past week, week and a half. 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:23.740 And I really wanted to talk about it today. 0:01:23.760 --> 0:01:26.180 I wanted to give this topic enough patience to like 0:01:26.500 --> 0:01:28.810 digest how I was actually feeling about it. 0:01:29.550 --> 0:01:32.069 Because for, I'm going to. 0:01:32.010 --> 0:01:35.690 Say the week following that comment, I felt really insecure 0:01:35.709 --> 0:01:37.970 about And it's not a feeling that hits me often. 0:01:38.170 --> 0:01:41.710 Yeah. And it kind of jabs more because you're like, 0:01:41.730 --> 0:01:43.910 this person was complimenting me. Like I shouldn't be feeling 0:01:43.950 --> 0:01:45.830 this way. But when it's something that makes you look 0:01:45.870 --> 0:01:47.069 really introspectively. 0:01:47.450 --> 0:01:47.790 Yes. 0:01:48.330 --> 0:01:51.160 Yes. I think I had a moment of like self-awareness 0:01:51.190 --> 0:01:54.500 where I was like. Oh, my God, they called me 0:01:54.540 --> 0:01:56.760 this force of nature. And what I heard in my 0:01:56.820 --> 0:01:58.740 head is that you're a loud person. 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:03.700 You're overwhelming. You're intimidating. You're annoying. You take up way 0:02:03.720 --> 0:02:05.470 too much space. You're a lot. 0:02:06.370 --> 0:02:10.169 And that's what I heard. Obviously, it wasn't said in 0:02:10.350 --> 0:02:12.650 that moment. And that's like a place of for the 0:02:12.730 --> 0:02:15.250 first time in my life, a little moment of an 0:02:15.290 --> 0:02:17.850 insecurity came up. Not to say that I haven't been 0:02:17.889 --> 0:02:20.270 insecure ever before because I wouldn't be human. But for 0:02:20.310 --> 0:02:23.150 this particular topic, it's never been something that has really 0:02:23.350 --> 0:02:40.200 jabbed me. <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> And. 0:02:40.220 --> 0:02:43.299 I'm none of those things. I'm none of those things. 0:02:43.419 --> 0:02:46.020 I am. I feel like I'm a soft person and 0:02:46.060 --> 0:02:48.079 a lot of people don't realize that. Yeah. 0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:50.560 As like a cancerian, I'm like very hard on the 0:02:50.660 --> 0:02:53.530 outside and I am that force. But like once you 0:02:53.590 --> 0:02:55.370 really get to know me, I'm actually quite soft. I'm 0:02:55.410 --> 0:02:56.230 actually quite gentle. 0:02:56.350 --> 0:02:59.710 I'm actually very emotional, which is probably why this comment 0:02:59.730 --> 0:03:00.930 hit home so much. 0:03:01.780 --> 0:03:04.590 And I think the biggest thing for me is I 0:03:04.630 --> 0:03:06.650 just want people to feel comfortable around me. 0:03:06.930 --> 0:03:08.829 Yeah. Well, I personally have. 0:03:08.910 --> 0:03:09.530 Thanks, Blakey. 0:03:09.570 --> 0:03:10.450 Just so you know. 0:03:10.550 --> 0:03:11.880 Thanks. 0:03:11.919 --> 0:03:14.580 I want people to feel like I can hold space 0:03:14.660 --> 0:03:16.340 enough for them where they can feel like they can 0:03:16.440 --> 0:03:18.910 open up or... talk to me about things that they 0:03:18.940 --> 0:03:21.049 might have issues with, if that's a direction they want 0:03:21.070 --> 0:03:22.890 to go to, or if they just want to have 0:03:22.910 --> 0:03:25.750 like a fun, light and fruity conversation, we can have it. 0:03:26.700 --> 0:03:29.060 But what I haven't ever had said to me is 0:03:29.080 --> 0:03:29.560 that you're. 0:03:29.400 --> 0:03:32.019 A force of nature and you can be like an 0:03:32.250 --> 0:03:36.050 intimidating force of nature. And I took that really negatively 0:03:36.070 --> 0:03:39.150 in the moment. But I think that in the week 0:03:39.170 --> 0:03:41.770 and a half that I've been digesting it, and this 0:03:41.830 --> 0:03:43.290 is something that I've actually been working on over the 0:03:43.330 --> 0:03:46.589 past year, is that I need to really stop apologizing 0:03:46.630 --> 0:03:48.390 for who I am as a person. 0:03:49.110 --> 0:03:51.150 Because I would say. 0:03:51.350 --> 0:03:53.130 And correct me if I'm wrong, and if I am 0:03:53.170 --> 0:03:55.030 wrong in the moment, I always tell people, like, please 0:03:55.070 --> 0:03:56.920 tell me if you do feel like I've crossed the line. 0:03:56.980 --> 0:04:00.300 But my life motto at the moment, it has been 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.180 for a while, is that if I'm moving through life 0:04:02.220 --> 0:04:05.340 with kindness... If I'm moving through life with a non-malicious 0:04:05.400 --> 0:04:08.240 intent and if I'm moving through life with like an 0:04:08.380 --> 0:04:11.640 open heart, that's all that matters. And whether you're a 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:14.800 force of nature or not. If there's no malicious intent 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:16.060 behind you being this. 0:04:15.900 --> 0:04:19.060 Force of nature, I don't think that it's particularly a 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:19.720 bad thing. 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:22.920 We always have this insecurity that I think stems from 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.900 the word too, like you're too much, you're too loud, 0:04:25.930 --> 0:04:29.890 you're too emotional, you're too passionate, you're too opinionated, you're 0:04:29.930 --> 0:04:32.470 too energetic. That's one that I get a lot. You're 0:04:32.529 --> 0:04:36.810 too energetic. You're too ambitious. Ambition is one that like 0:04:37.210 --> 0:04:40.370 it's weirdly and oddly something that I get praised for 0:04:40.410 --> 0:04:42.210 but slandered for at the same time. 0:04:42.270 --> 0:04:44.070 Yeah. It goes both ways. 0:04:44.110 --> 0:04:45.370 It goes both ways. 0:04:45.610 --> 0:04:48.550 And you're too visible. God forbid a woman is visible 0:04:48.589 --> 0:04:51.700 in the space, right? And then I think I've kind 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:53.740 of realized at the end of the day, well, who 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:54.620 is this according to? 0:04:54.940 --> 0:04:55.440 Exactly. 0:04:55.460 --> 0:04:55.910 Who am I? 0:04:55.900 --> 0:04:56.880 Who's setting the rules? 0:04:56.980 --> 0:04:57.919 Who's setting the rule? 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:00.180 Is it like, and I'm sorry to get like all 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:04.860 feminist on it, but is this like the manosphere driving these, 0:05:05.360 --> 0:05:07.020 I guess, I don't even want to call them compliments 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:09.120 because they're not compliments when it comes from that angle, 0:05:09.180 --> 0:05:12.060 but Is a woman in the space that's too much, 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:14.099 too energetic, too ambitious? 0:05:14.200 --> 0:05:17.740 Is it coming from all of the influence? 0:05:17.900 --> 0:05:20.340 It's not the right word, but is it coming from 0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:22.900 all the influences of the Andrew Taits of the world 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:26.089 that they're having on all of these young boys on 0:05:26.150 --> 0:05:28.890 how palatable women need to be in the space? 0:05:29.350 --> 0:05:32.290 Yeah, I have a few opinions on that. Okay. I 0:05:32.330 --> 0:05:35.770 think very potentially, yes, and it's kind of a latter right. 0:05:35.990 --> 0:05:40.190 And often those beliefs stem from that. But I find, 0:05:40.210 --> 0:05:42.830 because I've gotten a lot as well throughout my life, 0:05:42.850 --> 0:05:45.520 it's a lot of people projecting as well. 0:05:45.540 --> 0:05:46.060 Yeah. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.920 And when they see qualities that I think are so 0:05:48.980 --> 0:05:50.550 great in you, this is why I love you. 0:05:50.570 --> 0:05:50.630 Oh. 0:05:51.630 --> 0:05:53.690 People are like, I want to be that, but I 0:05:53.730 --> 0:05:55.610 can't be, so it's so wrong that I need to 0:05:55.650 --> 0:05:58.920 make you feel bad for displaying those qualities. 0:05:59.010 --> 0:05:59.599 Yeah. 0:05:59.980 --> 0:06:00.740 Which is sad. 0:06:00.860 --> 0:06:03.220 It's sad. It is sad. I think I am too much. 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:04.900 I think that I am a lot, but I don't 0:06:04.940 --> 0:06:07.339 think being a lot is a bad thing. No. 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:09.600 Like, yeah, I don't think that it's a bad thing 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:13.170 being ambitious, having drive. I will say I think that 0:06:13.190 --> 0:06:16.570 it's an actual characteristic. Yeah. I don't think it's something that– 0:06:16.650 --> 0:06:18.170 don't get me wrong. I do believe it's a skill 0:06:18.190 --> 0:06:18.960 you can work on. 0:06:18.970 --> 0:06:21.570 Yeah. But I think that it's something that you're born with. 0:06:22.190 --> 0:06:23.720 I think it's something that maybe you. 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:27.060 Were in an environment where someone that you valued highly 0:06:27.140 --> 0:06:30.080 had that level of drive and you soon followed. But 0:06:30.380 --> 0:06:32.540 you can't really say that because if you look under 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:36.800 a family umbrella, you might have five siblings within your family– 0:06:37.050 --> 0:06:40.930 And one might be traditionally really lazy. One might just 0:06:40.990 --> 0:06:44.150 be really soft and gentle and be very introverted. The 0:06:44.230 --> 0:06:47.170 other one might be like really extroverted, have this drive, 0:06:47.290 --> 0:06:50.450 is really loud. The other person might be really extroverted 0:06:50.510 --> 0:06:52.800 but be like the class clown and not really have 0:06:52.860 --> 0:06:53.480 that drive. 0:06:53.500 --> 0:06:54.940 They're just there for the laughs. 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:57.820 And there are like so many different characteristics that make 0:06:57.900 --> 0:07:01.070 up a human being. And I really need to work 0:07:01.290 --> 0:07:05.809 on not apologizing for having certain characteristics that make me me. 0:07:05.990 --> 0:07:07.050 Exactly right. 0:07:07.570 --> 0:07:10.690 Coming back to the differences between females and males, and 0:07:10.710 --> 0:07:12.940 I know that I make these points quite significantly in 0:07:12.950 --> 0:07:14.780 the podcast time and time again, and I do it 0:07:14.800 --> 0:07:17.900 because I feel so strongly about it. When we say 0:07:17.940 --> 0:07:21.110 a man is a force of nature... The first thing 0:07:21.130 --> 0:07:25.910 that we think of is, oh, they're driven. They're financially stable. 0:07:26.230 --> 0:07:29.350 They're a businessman. They have their shit together. They're a 0:07:29.430 --> 0:07:32.020 force of nature. But when we call a woman a 0:07:32.060 --> 0:07:36.090 force of nature, all those negative connotations are attached to it. 0:07:36.180 --> 0:07:39.440 And I just think it's a really interesting– maybe I'm wrong. 0:07:39.480 --> 0:07:40.280 Do you see it that way? 0:07:40.480 --> 0:07:41.360 Oh, I absolutely do. 0:07:41.540 --> 0:07:42.000 Oh, okay. 0:07:42.060 --> 0:07:44.250 And other minority groups as well. 0:07:44.270 --> 0:07:44.340 Yes. 0:07:44.510 --> 0:07:47.130 But I think when it's applied to a straight man– Yeah. 0:07:47.150 --> 0:07:49.100 It's like, oh, my God, he must be so successful. 0:07:49.140 --> 0:07:51.360 But when you speak about a woman being like that. 0:07:51.380 --> 0:07:52.700 God forbid a woman's successful. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.360 Usually it's like, oh, she's a bit of a mad woman. 0:07:54.380 --> 0:07:55.500 She's a bit crazy. 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:59.490 And people have said that to me before. Like, oh, 0:07:59.970 --> 0:08:02.130 like Adele is a force of nature. She'll like ping 0:08:02.150 --> 0:08:04.410 off the walls. She'll have so many conversations with you. 0:08:04.450 --> 0:08:06.030 She'll be like here, there and everywhere. And I am 0:08:06.130 --> 0:08:08.950 like that. But it's not like I don't give people 0:08:08.990 --> 0:08:12.800 time and energy and focus and love and kindness. And 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:14.840 it's something that I'm working on at the moment. I 0:08:14.880 --> 0:08:17.380 really need to continue to work on not apologizing for 0:08:17.440 --> 0:08:19.640 who I am as a person. And the next time 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:22.420 someone goes to me, oh my God, she's such a 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:23.340 force of nature. 0:08:23.460 --> 0:08:25.200 I'm probably going to turn around and be like, I 0:08:25.220 --> 0:08:25.760 fucking am. 0:08:26.140 --> 0:08:26.380 Yeah. 0:08:26.560 --> 0:08:27.670 I am a force of nature. 0:08:27.770 --> 0:08:30.970 And I'm not going to apologize for holding that space 0:08:31.170 --> 0:08:34.150 in this room where there might not be another person 0:08:34.190 --> 0:08:35.870 in the room that is the force of nature. And 0:08:35.929 --> 0:08:39.929 what's funny- is that when I meet another person who 0:08:40.150 --> 0:08:44.630 is a force of nature, we literally magnetize towards each other. 0:08:45.070 --> 0:08:48.980 And we're just, it's such a spectacular relationship that grows 0:08:49.010 --> 0:08:51.580 from the get go because we bounce off each other 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:55.780 so well. I don't want to ever make anyone feel 0:08:55.840 --> 0:09:00.860 like they've been swallowed by me, but in the same respect, 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:03.600 maybe that's in their insecurity that they feel like they 0:09:03.640 --> 0:09:06.050 can't speak in that moment or I don't want to 0:09:06.070 --> 0:09:08.640 become palatable for people. I want to make sure that 0:09:08.660 --> 0:09:10.420 I'm like the person that I am and I stay 0:09:10.460 --> 0:09:11.720 the person that I am. Yeah. 0:09:11.940 --> 0:09:13.620 And to you or anyone listening. 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:13.959 Yeah. 0:09:14.040 --> 0:09:16.280 It doesn't have to be your force of nature. If 0:09:16.300 --> 0:09:19.550 there's ever like a kind of backhanded compliment that someone 0:09:19.570 --> 0:09:21.609 says to you. If it actually does bother you, I'd 0:09:21.750 --> 0:09:24.560 be like, ah, well, thank you for the compliment, but 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:26.180 where did you get that from? Like, what makes you 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:26.640 think that? 0:09:26.660 --> 0:09:27.320 Question it. 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.920 Make them interrogate themselves as well, because it'd be interesting 0:09:29.960 --> 0:09:32.280 just to know where that thought came from. 0:09:32.340 --> 0:09:35.220 Well, I think that, let's say if the backhanded compliment 0:09:35.260 --> 0:09:38.609 is like, oh, you are really, like, soft, right? That's 0:09:38.620 --> 0:09:39.530 the backhanded compliment. 0:09:39.550 --> 0:09:40.750 You're like, soft? What do you mean? 0:09:41.030 --> 0:09:41.230 Yeah. 0:09:41.270 --> 0:09:44.209 What do you mean, soft? Like, I'm not strong? Like, 0:09:44.250 --> 0:09:48.790 I'm weak? Or, like, I'm gentle and I'm calm and I'm, like, soft-spirited? Like. 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:52.310 There's a difference in where the conversation can go. So 0:09:52.330 --> 0:09:55.010 when you question it and you elaborate on it further, 0:09:55.530 --> 0:09:57.430 you're making not only the other person think about what 0:09:57.450 --> 0:10:00.600 they've just said, but maybe it's your opportunity. to stand 0:10:00.620 --> 0:10:02.339 your ground and be like, no, no, I am soft 0:10:02.380 --> 0:10:04.360 and that's okay if I am soft and gentle and 0:10:04.420 --> 0:10:07.380 calm in the space. That's not me. That's not Adele. 0:10:07.620 --> 0:10:11.400 I'm definitely not soft. I dominate and I'm this force 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:13.540 of nature, but I do have elements of me that 0:10:13.660 --> 0:10:15.920 are soft that do come out with my nearest and dearest. 0:10:16.580 --> 0:10:19.470 But if that's someone's. 0:10:19.190 --> 0:10:22.390 Initial representation of you or what they see, I would 0:10:22.410 --> 0:10:24.689 just say stand your ground. Whatever they say is a 0:10:24.710 --> 0:10:28.949 backhanded compliment. Question them on it. And just like sit 0:10:28.990 --> 0:10:29.270 with it. 0:10:29.230 --> 0:10:30.930 For a little bit and be proud that that's how 0:10:30.950 --> 0:10:31.850 you'll represent it. 0:10:32.230 --> 0:10:34.720 Because someone could turn around and call me a bitch 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:36.840 and then I would be like, well, that's definitely inaccurate. 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:38.200 That's inaccurate. 0:10:38.420 --> 0:10:39.180 I'm just loud. 0:10:39.580 --> 0:10:39.880 You know what? 0:10:39.920 --> 0:10:42.030 I did see a quote and it said, someone called 0:10:42.070 --> 0:10:45.170 me a bitch today. It's made me happy. I realise 0:10:45.230 --> 0:10:46.330 I've got my spark back. 0:10:47.250 --> 0:10:48.170 I love that. 0:10:48.190 --> 0:10:51.990 That's so good. Let's move on to as of late 0:10:52.630 --> 0:10:55.490 because there are a couple of things that happened this weekend. 0:10:55.510 --> 0:10:57.410 It was like a fully packed weekend for me and 0:10:57.429 --> 0:10:58.640 I want to like yap about. 0:10:58.440 --> 0:10:59.040 It a little bit. 0:10:59.100 --> 0:11:00.580 And we actually never got into the rundown. 0:11:00.720 --> 0:11:02.300 No, no. 0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:05.380 So firstly, I want to roll into this ep and 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:09.300 And even though it's going to go live after the 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:12.020 event has happened, I just want to shed light on 0:11:12.140 --> 0:11:15.060 the fact that I did a livestream Pilates class with 0:11:15.140 --> 0:11:16.720 two creators, Taz and Alessia. 0:11:17.420 --> 0:11:18.480 They have a joint account. 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:22.740 And these are the kind of creators that, like, I 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:27.110 am so proud of. to be alongside in the space. 0:11:27.140 --> 0:11:29.250 And I just wanted to give them a massive shout out. 0:11:30.090 --> 0:11:32.290 So they reached out to me and they said, Hey Adele, 0:11:32.330 --> 0:11:34.810 we really want you to be involved in this. We 0:11:35.030 --> 0:11:38.530 do this every year. We do a 24 hour live stream. 0:11:39.270 --> 0:11:41.729 And in that 24 hour live stream, we raise money 0:11:41.770 --> 0:11:44.050 for a charity that's close to our hearts. And I think, 0:11:44.150 --> 0:11:45.990 correct me if I'm wrong, if you're listening at home, 0:11:46.030 --> 0:11:48.710 but every year they might change their charity. 0:11:48.770 --> 0:11:51.610 I'm not sure. This year, their charity of choice was 0:11:51.630 --> 0:11:52.230 Little Dreamers. 0:11:52.670 --> 0:11:55.270 And they gave me the option of like, first of all, 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:57.140 would you like to be involved? Is that something that, 0:11:57.160 --> 0:11:59.579 and no pressure if that's not for you or you're 0:11:59.620 --> 0:12:01.320 unable to do it or you don't have the time. 0:12:01.900 --> 0:12:04.180 And I said, of course, I think that's amazing. And 0:12:04.200 --> 0:12:06.050 then they were like, okay, awesome. Well, what would you 0:12:06.090 --> 0:12:08.030 like to do? We had the initial thoughts of like, 0:12:08.370 --> 0:12:10.630 do we do a live stream Pilates class or do 0:12:10.670 --> 0:12:12.710 we do like a cooking with Adele segment where we're 0:12:12.730 --> 0:12:14.710 like in the kitchen and we're cooking lunch together? 0:12:14.790 --> 0:12:16.449 Like, How do you want to go about it? 0:12:16.450 --> 0:12:18.740 And I thought like, well, everyone's always asking me to 0:12:18.790 --> 0:12:22.860 do online Pilates classes and never say never, but like 0:12:22.880 --> 0:12:25.560 I probably will never do. I will never be like 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:27.140 an online Pilates person. 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:28.000 I don't know why. 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.100 I'm just like time, energy. That's like a whole beast 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.640 in itself that I don't think I'll ever touch. But 0:12:33.679 --> 0:12:36.270 I was really excited about being able to like break 0:12:36.309 --> 0:12:39.170 it down in like these three, four segments for their 0:12:39.309 --> 0:12:39.830 live stream. 0:12:39.890 --> 0:12:41.750 And we got to do like an online Pilates class 0:12:41.770 --> 0:12:42.370 for everybody. 0:12:42.429 --> 0:12:44.810 I feel like you're an in the flesh girlie. I am. 0:12:44.830 --> 0:12:46.290 I think you like having. 0:12:46.410 --> 0:12:49.750 I like interacting with everybody. And I liked, I mean, 0:12:49.830 --> 0:12:51.689 obviously you don't see on the other side how the, 0:12:51.970 --> 0:12:53.349 how everyone at home is doing. 0:12:53.370 --> 0:12:55.430 And if they weren't doing, if they were just watching, awesome. 0:12:56.210 --> 0:12:58.190 It was really fun to be a part of and 0:12:58.210 --> 0:12:59.970 it felt like I was contributing in the best way 0:13:00.030 --> 0:13:02.110 possible and I was supporting Taz and Alessia who were 0:13:02.130 --> 0:13:05.770 supporting Little Dreamers and they smashed their goal. Their goal 0:13:05.809 --> 0:13:08.290 was to raise $ 20, 000 and they ended up raising. 0:13:07.970 --> 0:13:09.430 $ 35, 000. My God. 0:13:09.690 --> 0:13:11.550 Amazing. 0:13:11.690 --> 0:13:12.970 And the way that they set it up and they 0:13:12.990 --> 0:13:14.970 continued to talk about it throughout the live stream was 0:13:15.030 --> 0:13:18.350 that The money actually never hit Taz and Alessia's accounts. 0:13:19.010 --> 0:13:22.339 So it went straight into the Little Dreamers account via 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:23.760 the form where everyone could donate. 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:24.880 So like when I. 0:13:24.880 --> 0:13:28.880 Say they've thought about everything, they've thought about everything. And 0:13:28.900 --> 0:13:31.380 I think just their ability to show how authentic they are. 0:13:31.660 --> 0:13:34.140 Shout out to Taz and Alessia because I feel like 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:37.200 they did a fantastic job at their live stream. Girls, 0:13:37.240 --> 0:13:39.540 congratulations if you're listening to this at home. And if 0:13:39.580 --> 0:13:41.650 you watch the Pilates live stream or any part of 0:13:41.690 --> 0:13:44.790 the live stream and you donated even 50 cents, I'm 0:13:45.170 --> 0:13:48.470 sure little dreamers were ecstatic about the result of that. 0:13:48.490 --> 0:13:50.770 So that was really fun. That's what I did Saturday morning. 0:13:51.450 --> 0:13:57.440 Saturday afternoon slash evening was entirely different. We did like 0:13:57.520 --> 0:14:00.260 a 180 flip. We started with health and wealth, okay? 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:02.600 We did not finish with health and wealth, let me 0:14:02.640 --> 0:14:05.600 tell you. Yeah. I, for the first time, not for 0:14:05.620 --> 0:14:08.000 the first time, in a very long time, I should say, 0:14:08.730 --> 0:14:10.750 drank one too many glasses of Chablis. 0:14:11.270 --> 0:14:11.970 That happens. 0:14:12.110 --> 0:14:12.670 It happens. 0:14:12.690 --> 0:14:16.809 And it catches you off guard. I, for the first time, 0:14:17.150 --> 0:14:18.930 have experienced anxiety. 0:14:18.950 --> 0:14:19.950 Ooh. 0:14:20.430 --> 0:14:21.710 Yeah. Yeah. 0:14:21.830 --> 0:14:23.130 I'm kind of an expert on that. 0:14:23.430 --> 0:14:25.030 Okay. Can you talk to me about it? 0:14:25.050 --> 0:14:28.070 Because I was passing out this weekend. 0:14:28.430 --> 0:14:28.970 Passing. 0:14:29.230 --> 0:14:32.460 I can't tell you anything that helps you. But I 0:14:32.540 --> 0:14:35.380 can talk to you about all the feelings that arise 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.730 when you have anxiety. It has to be one of 0:14:37.750 --> 0:14:38.490 the worst things ever. 0:14:39.550 --> 0:14:41.670 I didn't wake up with a hangover, which is rare. 0:14:41.690 --> 0:14:43.830 Like I usually get the headache, need to pop a Nurofen, 0:14:43.870 --> 0:14:46.270 like drink water, and I usually feel really nauseous. 0:14:46.490 --> 0:14:49.390 Yeah. Like I am a heavyweight. I think that's my problem. 0:14:49.750 --> 0:14:50.750 So I'm not going to lie. 0:14:51.390 --> 0:14:54.609 Between me and my friend, we downed two bottles of 0:14:54.650 --> 0:14:57.120 Chablis and then I continued with the vodka sodas. 0:14:57.140 --> 0:14:57.200 Oh. 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:00.640 From there, I reckon I probably sunk about five to 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:03.110 six vodka sodas after the two bottles of Chablis. 0:15:03.130 --> 0:15:04.570 That's insult to injury. 0:15:04.590 --> 0:15:04.830 Right? 0:15:04.930 --> 0:15:05.170 Yeah. 0:15:05.450 --> 0:15:08.170 Just so everyone listening at home understands, I actually don't 0:15:08.310 --> 0:15:09.810 like vodka. Oh. 0:15:10.050 --> 0:15:12.500 I'm a gin girlie. Like every time I've had vodka, 0:15:12.520 --> 0:15:14.960 I'm like, oh, yuck. I couldn't taste the vodka. That's 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:20.280 how drunk I was. Yeah. OK, that's how this doesn't happen. Like, 0:15:20.320 --> 0:15:22.720 I don't get like this. I think that on the 0:15:22.740 --> 0:15:26.830 weekend I had a function. I was quite anxious prior 0:15:27.170 --> 0:15:30.430 going into the function because everyone that always meets me 0:15:30.470 --> 0:15:32.030 is like, oh, she can talk to a brick wall. 0:15:32.290 --> 0:15:34.490 She could talk to anybody. And that's not not true. 0:15:34.810 --> 0:15:37.250 I can. I can. I can talk to a brick wall. 0:15:37.290 --> 0:15:38.100 I can talk to anybody. 0:15:38.480 --> 0:15:42.580 But in this particular situation, when you're meeting a whole 0:15:42.620 --> 0:15:45.720 group of people that aren't your people, you're like the 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:49.740 outlier trying to like meet everyone or remember everyone's names. 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:52.620 And once again, I was like really anxious that like 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:54.240 someone wasn't going to like me or I was going 0:15:54.260 --> 0:15:55.900 to say the wrong thing or I was going to 0:15:55.940 --> 0:15:58.080 like do the wrong thing or I was, you know, 0:15:58.900 --> 0:16:01.060 oddly enough, and this has only been like an anxiety 0:16:01.120 --> 0:16:04.090 recently that like Someone was going to come up to 0:16:04.130 --> 0:16:06.720 me and say hello and be like, I love your content. 0:16:06.770 --> 0:16:08.680 And someone in front of me or next to that 0:16:08.720 --> 0:16:10.900 person didn't know I was a content creator. And then 0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:13.280 I would have that awkward conversation of being like, yeah, 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:14.380 I make TikToks and. 0:16:14.340 --> 0:16:16.600 I have a podcast. Like that's what I do full time. 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:17.859 And there's almost. 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:19.460 Like I should be really proud of that because I've 0:16:19.500 --> 0:16:22.380 come a long way. But I once again wanted to 0:16:22.420 --> 0:16:23.740 put myself in a smaller box. 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:25.000 I was going to say it goes back. 0:16:25.200 --> 0:16:26.460 I want it to be palatable. 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:29.370 Yeah. I wanted to be palatable for the people that 0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:31.810 I was meeting. That comment in the back of my 0:16:31.870 --> 0:16:34.310 head about being this force of nature was like ringing. 0:16:34.330 --> 0:16:37.690 I was already anxious. I moved into this space. I 0:16:37.730 --> 0:16:39.490 downed too much alcohol. 0:16:40.370 --> 0:16:42.390 And then I woke up the next morning and I 0:16:42.430 --> 0:16:46.140 was like, holy fuck, too much alcohol, anxious as hell. 0:16:46.260 --> 0:16:48.300 And it was like I could not rid this anxiety 0:16:48.340 --> 0:16:50.770 from my body all weekend. I didn't know what to do. 0:16:50.790 --> 0:16:55.489 I went for walks. I tried to get off the coffees. Like, 0:16:55.970 --> 0:16:57.150 it just, nothing worked. 0:16:57.230 --> 0:16:58.580 Yeah, coffee, no, no. 0:16:58.670 --> 0:16:59.380 No, no, no, no, no. 0:16:59.420 --> 0:17:00.060 Don't touch it. 0:17:00.100 --> 0:17:00.610 Don't touch it. 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:00.860 Yeah. 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:03.520 Anyways, if you guys have any tricks or tips for 0:17:03.600 --> 0:17:06.639 anxiety at home, because knowing me, I'm going to do 0:17:06.660 --> 0:17:07.420 the Chablis again. 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:11.909 Please write in and let me know because I need 0:17:12.030 --> 0:17:12.970 the quick fix now. 0:17:13.230 --> 0:17:15.350 And if someone says stop drinking, I'll cry. 0:17:15.369 --> 0:17:16.450 I have two questions. 0:17:16.550 --> 0:17:16.810 Yeah. 0:17:17.030 --> 0:17:19.590 This happens to me. I get anxiety a lot when 0:17:19.630 --> 0:17:20.970 I don't remember things. 0:17:21.270 --> 0:17:21.629 Okay. 0:17:21.830 --> 0:17:24.370 And two, were people reminding you of things and you're 0:17:24.390 --> 0:17:25.310 a bit like, oh. 0:17:25.350 --> 0:17:25.930 That happened. 0:17:26.170 --> 0:17:26.690 Oh God. 0:17:26.730 --> 0:17:28.550 I got reminded of a few things that I did 0:17:28.670 --> 0:17:30.540 in front of people that I shouldn't have done them. 0:17:31.190 --> 0:17:33.619 And I was like, I'm really good at remembering shit. 0:17:33.800 --> 0:17:34.139 Yeah. 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:35.940 Like I'm never that person that's like. 0:17:36.920 --> 0:17:38.300 I was so drunk. I didn't remember. 0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:41.040 No, you can remember everything. And they're like, it's slowly 0:17:41.080 --> 0:17:42.780 coming back to me now. And I'm like, holy fuck, 0:17:42.820 --> 0:17:43.480 I did do that. 0:17:43.660 --> 0:17:44.000 Yeah. 0:17:44.220 --> 0:17:46.179 And I've been so, and it doesn't help that I'm 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:47.750 a chronic overthinker. Oh yeah. 0:17:47.910 --> 0:17:48.370 Camera light. 0:17:48.710 --> 0:17:49.590 Yep. Yep. Yep. 0:17:49.630 --> 0:17:50.030 Cool. Cool. 0:17:50.050 --> 0:17:50.149 Cool. 0:17:50.170 --> 0:17:50.330 Cool. 0:17:50.830 --> 0:17:52.689 I think that I need to reduce my anxiety, not 0:17:52.750 --> 0:17:59.350 increase it. Let's walk into my two cents. Blakey, what 0:17:59.369 --> 0:18:00.270 do you have for me today? 0:18:00.290 --> 0:18:04.090 Okay. I read a really interesting article and I just 0:18:04.130 --> 0:18:06.210 want your thoughts. I want to discuss it out loud 0:18:06.250 --> 0:18:09.480 with you. So let's jump in. It's from Romag and 0:18:09.500 --> 0:18:12.140 the title is you don't need a new life. You 0:18:12.180 --> 0:18:13.660 just need to stop quitting. 0:18:13.680 --> 0:18:13.740 Oh. 0:18:14.530 --> 0:18:17.570 Which sounds really annoying, but let me get into it. 0:18:17.690 --> 0:18:18.120 Okay. 0:18:18.130 --> 0:18:21.800 So the article argues that we've become obsessed with starting over, 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:26.619 assuming that when something gets boring, difficult, or isn't immediately working, 0:18:26.640 --> 0:18:29.960 it must mean we're on the wrong path. The bigger 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:34.369 point being that life-changing results rarely come from one huge breakthrough. 0:18:34.790 --> 0:18:38.570 They come from small promises and boring consistency repeated over time. 0:18:39.030 --> 0:18:42.250 Maybe you don't need a new job, routine, project, or 0:18:42.310 --> 0:18:44.750 a version of yourself. Maybe you just need to stop 0:18:44.830 --> 0:18:46.850 quitting the life you're already building. 0:18:47.010 --> 0:18:50.770 This is really interesting. Yeah. Two takes on this. 0:18:51.390 --> 0:18:55.340 The first being that our generation or my generation being 0:18:55.380 --> 0:18:59.300 the first generation in comparison to my parents' generation are 0:18:59.340 --> 0:19:03.020 the first generation to realize that career-wise to actually make 0:19:03.060 --> 0:19:07.389 a financial improvement... And also make an improvement in the 0:19:07.490 --> 0:19:10.810 titles that you're gaining in the shortest amount of time possible. 0:19:11.230 --> 0:19:14.280 You need to change your job every two years. You 0:19:14.380 --> 0:19:16.300 need to change your title every two years. 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:21.640 We don't gain anything from companies by staying loyal and 0:19:21.820 --> 0:19:25.189 earning our long service life. We just don't. You are 0:19:25.330 --> 0:19:28.750 financially better off. If every two years you make a 0:19:28.790 --> 0:19:32.530 change of, not necessarily a change of career, but you 0:19:32.570 --> 0:19:37.300 make a change to another business that could increase your 0:19:37.340 --> 0:19:39.859 salary every, like, let's say you go from business for 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:42.719 business over seven years, seven or eight years, you make 0:19:42.740 --> 0:19:45.550 a couple of changes, let's say four title changes, four 0:19:45.590 --> 0:19:49.070 job changes, but like under the same category. Every time 0:19:49.109 --> 0:19:51.420 you change, let's say you increase your salary by $ 10, 000, 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:51.899 then $ 20, 000, then $ 30, 000, then $ 40. 0:19:51.780 --> 0:19:52.480 000 for every jump that you make. 0:19:57.200 --> 0:20:01.460 You will succeed further financially if you're doing that across 0:20:01.510 --> 0:20:05.730 the landscape of multiple companies versus if you stay within 0:20:05.770 --> 0:20:09.869 the same business for eight years and you're jumping $ 5, 000 0:20:09.510 --> 0:20:12.750 every financial year because you get that bonus or you 0:20:12.770 --> 0:20:15.230 get that pay increase that you have to fucking fight, 0:20:15.920 --> 0:20:19.100 fight to the heavens for. And trust me, I've done it. 0:20:19.180 --> 0:20:21.580 You have to fight to the heavens for a $ 5, 000 0:20:20.980 --> 0:20:25.940 pay increase. Versus if you were to jump businesses and 0:20:26.140 --> 0:20:27.820 go in a different direction, right? 0:20:27.920 --> 0:20:28.900 That's my first point. 0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:31.240 And that's been like, I don't have the articles in 0:20:31.260 --> 0:20:35.700 front of me, but it's known for our generation, right? Now, 0:20:36.119 --> 0:20:38.409 I'm going to like channel my inner Harry, channel my 0:20:38.450 --> 0:20:40.070 inner dad in this. 0:20:40.130 --> 0:20:40.590 Let him out. 0:20:40.730 --> 0:20:41.810 And I'm going to let him out. 0:20:42.109 --> 0:20:45.250 He doesn't believe in this element of change and jumping 0:20:45.310 --> 0:20:48.610 around and chopping and changing and whatnot. Right. He doesn't 0:20:48.730 --> 0:20:50.750 understand because I've had this conversation with him before. He 0:20:50.790 --> 0:20:54.330 does understand the point of like financially increasing your salary 0:20:54.390 --> 0:20:57.290 as time goes on. If you see that pathway across 0:20:57.350 --> 0:20:59.930 different landscapes or across different businesses, you should do so. 0:21:00.280 --> 0:21:02.240 However, he sees our. 0:21:02.160 --> 0:21:08.120 Generation as weak because we cannot, we cannot move through mud. 0:21:08.580 --> 0:21:10.320 Yeah, that's much like my dad as well. 0:21:10.359 --> 0:21:13.080 Yeah, we really struggle and we do. We do. 0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:16.520 We really struggle when something really, really difficult comes up 0:21:17.040 --> 0:21:19.540 that challenges us as human beings. 0:21:19.859 --> 0:21:22.810 We go, oh, no, too hard. I quit. 0:21:23.150 --> 0:21:25.590 Yeah. I need to change my life course. I need 0:21:25.609 --> 0:21:28.550 to start a new career. It's not actually because, hey, 0:21:28.850 --> 0:21:30.790 I've really given this a red hot go over the 0:21:30.810 --> 0:21:33.989 past five years. I've jumped from company to company. I've 0:21:34.050 --> 0:21:37.980 tried out different titles with different culture, like company culture 0:21:38.420 --> 0:21:40.659 within the same category of, I. 0:21:40.640 --> 0:21:43.080 Don't know, let's say you're a marketing girly pop, right? 0:21:43.140 --> 0:21:45.980 And you've tried out different elements of marketing in different 0:21:46.000 --> 0:21:49.380 landscapes and and you're still not liking it, that might 0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:50.890 be you not liking marketing. 0:21:51.369 --> 0:21:51.649 Yes. 0:21:51.890 --> 0:21:55.230 Right? But you've at least stuck through it, and you've 0:21:55.350 --> 0:21:59.290 tried different avenues. Versus if you're in a company, you 0:21:59.330 --> 0:22:01.950 don't like your job, you don't like the culture, you've 0:22:01.970 --> 0:22:04.040 got a big project on your desk that you simply 0:22:04.100 --> 0:22:06.280 don't have the skill set, or you're struggling to talk 0:22:06.480 --> 0:22:09.200 and get support about a project, and you're not able 0:22:09.240 --> 0:22:12.699 to actually push through the mud and make it work, 0:22:13.080 --> 0:22:14.399 move through that challenge. 0:22:14.930 --> 0:22:17.810 A lot of our gen go... Nope. Too hard. 0:22:18.250 --> 0:22:18.690 I quit. 0:22:19.210 --> 0:22:19.490 Yeah. 0:22:19.810 --> 0:22:23.190 And I would argue, and it's a controversial opinion, it 0:22:23.230 --> 0:22:28.730 is a very fine line between challenging yourself and going, oh, 0:22:28.780 --> 0:22:31.700 I need a mental health day because we are under 0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:34.880 a lot of stress. Melbourne and Sydney in particular, we 0:22:34.920 --> 0:22:38.399 move at light speed. We move so fucking fast that 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:40.940 we all need to stop and we don't realise until 0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:43.030 we're actually on holidays and nine times out of ten 0:22:43.050 --> 0:22:43.630 you get sick. 0:22:44.420 --> 0:22:45.040 On a holiday. 0:22:45.280 --> 0:22:45.600 Yeah. 0:22:45.619 --> 0:22:46.980 You're tanning by the pool and you're like, why do 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:48.840 I have a fever right now? Because your body's like 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:51.500 finally rested. So I don't know. 0:22:51.540 --> 0:22:53.840 There are elements where it's like burnout is a real 0:22:53.900 --> 0:22:57.379 thing in our cities, but also is it burnout or 0:22:57.420 --> 0:22:59.090 are we going through a phase where we need to 0:22:59.130 --> 0:23:00.830 move through mud and challenge ourselves? 0:23:00.970 --> 0:23:04.010 Yeah. I think there's a real middleman here, but it's 0:23:04.030 --> 0:23:06.570 so unclear as well because, yeah. I would say the 0:23:06.609 --> 0:23:09.210 exact same as you. I think in like a past 0:23:09.250 --> 0:23:11.330 job I've had, I think I was there for three 0:23:11.369 --> 0:23:13.830 years and I said to my dad, I'm unhappy. I 0:23:13.869 --> 0:23:16.350 think I'm going to quit. And he like just got 0:23:16.670 --> 0:23:19.580 so frightened. He's like, what? Well, you haven't been there 0:23:19.619 --> 0:23:22.350 long enough. That's going to give you a terrible reputation. 0:23:22.369 --> 0:23:25.570 I'm like, well, nowadays in our context, three years. 0:23:25.369 --> 0:23:27.490 Is like a lot of time. 0:23:27.690 --> 0:23:29.540 Yeah, which is also crazy to say. 0:23:29.560 --> 0:23:31.899 You're like a dinosaur with three years under your belt. 0:23:32.080 --> 0:23:32.580 Legit. 0:23:32.600 --> 0:23:35.359 But then I speak to friends or I have friends 0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:39.080 of friends. That literally go through one bit of hardship 0:23:39.119 --> 0:23:41.420 in that job. And they're like, this whole industry is 0:23:41.440 --> 0:23:43.320 not for me. And it's like, okay, well, have you 0:23:43.340 --> 0:23:46.060 spoken to your boss about how you can change your 0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:49.680 role or change your position in the company? And they're like, no. 0:23:49.740 --> 0:23:52.040 And then you speak to some bosses and they're like. 0:23:52.990 --> 0:23:55.110 I actually don't know why they quit. They just were 0:23:55.170 --> 0:23:56.770 unhappy and they left straight away. 0:23:56.790 --> 0:23:58.090 Well, it's not communicating, right? 0:23:58.210 --> 0:24:01.960 Yes. It's the lack of communication that's happening within the landscape. 0:24:02.020 --> 0:24:02.740 It's just, I don't know. 0:24:02.780 --> 0:24:05.080 I've got a few friends like this that jump and 0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:07.340 we know that like, oh, I wonder if this one's 0:24:07.380 --> 0:24:09.380 going to stick and we make jokes about it. But 0:24:09.619 --> 0:24:14.219 it's actually concerning because if you don't stick to something 0:24:14.280 --> 0:24:17.710 and really give something a red hot crack... What's going 0:24:17.730 --> 0:24:20.609 to happen is that you're not going to see it now. 0:24:20.750 --> 0:24:22.010 You're not going to see it in two years' time. 0:24:22.030 --> 0:24:23.230 You're not going to see it in three years' time. 0:24:23.630 --> 0:24:26.229 You're going to see it in 15 years' time when 0:24:26.250 --> 0:24:30.830 your fellow friends have stuck through, worked through challenges, and 0:24:30.850 --> 0:24:34.730 they're CEOs of companies, and you're starting another job. 0:24:34.930 --> 0:24:38.020 You're moving through another career. You're at the base. 0:24:37.780 --> 0:24:41.760 Because when you move through a career change, unfortunately, you 0:24:41.800 --> 0:24:43.640 need to go right back to the start. 0:24:44.500 --> 0:24:46.420 You need to build that skill set and work your 0:24:46.460 --> 0:24:46.850 way up. 0:24:47.400 --> 0:24:49.380 It's not something– I'm not talking about like if you're 0:24:49.580 --> 0:24:52.020 in marketing, I'll use that example again, and you're jumping 0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:53.540 from one job to the other and you're building your 0:24:53.560 --> 0:24:54.980 titles and your skill sets as you go. 0:24:55.380 --> 0:24:57.530 Imagine if you were like in marketing, you're like, I 0:24:57.570 --> 0:24:58.980 don't think marketing is for me. I'm going to become 0:24:59.010 --> 0:24:59.459 a barista. 0:24:59.770 --> 0:24:59.980 Yeah. 0:25:00.200 --> 0:25:02.030 You're a barista. I don't think being a barista is 0:25:02.050 --> 0:25:03.710 for me. I'm going to be a rep. Start as 0:25:03.730 --> 0:25:05.609 a rep. I don't think like sales is for me. 0:25:05.630 --> 0:25:08.010 I'm going to do something else. And then whilst you're 0:25:08.050 --> 0:25:10.730 doing this every one to two years, your. 0:25:10.609 --> 0:25:13.190 Friend that's in marketing that's climbing the ranks is now 0:25:13.430 --> 0:25:16.959 a CMO of a company and And then you question 0:25:16.980 --> 0:25:18.600 more like how did they get there? I'm like they 0:25:18.640 --> 0:25:22.000 put in 15 years of fucking hard work dragging their 0:25:22.100 --> 0:25:23.400 ass through the mud to get there. 0:25:23.740 --> 0:25:27.930 Yeah. Just reflect. I think reflect on like what you want. 0:25:28.330 --> 0:25:29.850 But it's also okay to be a barista. 0:25:30.210 --> 0:25:33.710 And me saying there's a middle ground, I think with 0:25:33.790 --> 0:25:35.330 the generations. 0:25:34.730 --> 0:25:37.740 Above us– They're almost too loyal. 0:25:38.000 --> 0:25:40.939 Yeah, they've sat through being really unhappy and that's also 0:25:40.980 --> 0:25:41.560 not right. 0:25:41.580 --> 0:25:41.639 No. 0:25:41.680 --> 0:25:46.290 Whereas potentially our generations don't want any unhappiness at all 0:25:46.390 --> 0:25:51.330 or uncomfortability. So like, I'm leaving. I do think. If 0:25:51.490 --> 0:25:55.250 something is causing, you know, harm to your mental health or. 0:25:55.470 --> 0:25:58.369 Oh, take a beat, take a moment, step back. 0:25:58.710 --> 0:26:01.010 Like you shouldn't stay somewhere if it's bad for your 0:26:01.050 --> 0:26:01.470 mental health. 0:26:01.490 --> 0:26:02.510 No, absolutely not. 0:26:02.530 --> 0:26:04.810 In the same breath, you can't run away if it's 0:26:04.830 --> 0:26:06.190 just the tiniest bit challenging. 0:26:06.290 --> 0:26:07.430 Yes. I don't know. 0:26:07.570 --> 0:26:10.410 I would like to see if the next generation that's 0:26:10.450 --> 0:26:13.320 coming up in the workforce is that middle grounded person. 0:26:13.990 --> 0:26:16.520 That would be really interesting to see. And I think 0:26:16.540 --> 0:26:19.740 that they're always going to be like anomalies in every generation, right? 0:26:19.780 --> 0:26:20.240 Totally. 0:26:20.280 --> 0:26:20.440 Like. 0:26:21.119 --> 0:26:24.580 whether you thrive or you don't in the workforce. So 0:26:25.000 --> 0:26:26.160 interesting combo. Yeah. 0:26:26.440 --> 0:26:28.720 And last bit, I actually, we got too caught up. 0:26:28.820 --> 0:26:29.260 I'm sorry. 0:26:29.280 --> 0:26:30.460 We yapped and yapped, yapped, yapped. 0:26:31.180 --> 0:26:35.070 The article question, do we have commitment issues, but not 0:26:35.109 --> 0:26:37.090 in relation to work, our generation? 0:26:37.230 --> 0:26:38.710 Oh, I think we most definitely do. 0:26:39.050 --> 0:26:41.490 I think commitment issues is something that we definitely struggle 0:26:41.530 --> 0:26:44.889 with in like all aspects of life, not just work. 0:26:45.290 --> 0:26:47.850 I think that we are too scared to To take 0:26:47.910 --> 0:26:50.860 leaps and to take risk. Great Two Cents article, though. 0:26:51.100 --> 0:26:51.959 Love it. Love. 0:26:52.060 --> 0:26:54.260 Let's move on. Surely not. All right, hit me. 0:26:54.600 --> 0:26:55.680 Funny one to open. 0:26:55.780 --> 0:26:56.080 Okay. 0:26:56.420 --> 0:27:00.480 The High Rocks Woman. Oh. So article reads, Australian athlete 0:27:00.500 --> 0:27:03.980 has apologised for soiling herself at the High Rocks Games 0:27:04.080 --> 0:27:04.860 in Beijing. 0:27:04.920 --> 0:27:05.139 Do you? 0:27:05.330 --> 0:27:05.959 Are you a cross? 0:27:05.980 --> 0:27:08.150 Did you see the statement that she came out with? 0:27:08.230 --> 0:27:08.450 No. 0:27:09.369 --> 0:27:10.770 Blakey, I'm going to fill you in. 0:27:10.790 --> 0:27:11.230 Please. 0:27:11.430 --> 0:27:15.750 She came out with like a formal statement and my 0:27:15.810 --> 0:27:21.090 heart broke for her. A formal statement about like how, it's. 0:27:20.510 --> 0:27:22.330 Actually quite funny. I don't know why I'm laughing. I'm 0:27:22.390 --> 0:27:24.129 so sorry. I shouldn't laugh. 0:27:24.410 --> 0:27:27.910 But the statement was like, In a very professional way, 0:27:27.930 --> 0:27:30.250 it was like, I'm sorry that I was a bad 0:27:30.310 --> 0:27:33.850 representation for women in sports and it wasn't my intention, 0:27:33.890 --> 0:27:35.470 but I now see. She was like, it was like 0:27:36.170 --> 0:27:40.560 professional wording, like upon reflection. I'm like, babe, you shat yourself. 0:27:41.160 --> 0:27:44.300 What do you mean upon reflection? Like your bowels loosened. 0:27:44.400 --> 0:27:48.260 I don't know what, maybe you didn't see it coming. Maybe, 0:27:48.340 --> 0:27:48.840 I don't know. 0:27:48.900 --> 0:27:51.820 But, you know, I have something for you here. 0:27:52.200 --> 0:27:52.560 Hit me. 0:27:52.760 --> 0:27:54.500 That I found out a couple of weeks ago. I 0:27:54.540 --> 0:27:55.879 don't know if we've spoken about it on the podcast 0:27:55.920 --> 0:27:58.350 or not. I actually can't remember. Did you know that 0:27:58.369 --> 0:28:02.870 it's a common occurrence for the Melbourne, for the marathons, right? 0:28:03.470 --> 0:28:07.429 To qualify for like the world marathon. There's like, I'm 0:28:07.470 --> 0:28:08.810 going to get these very wrong because I'm not a 0:28:08.830 --> 0:28:10.410 fucking runner. So if you listen to this at home. 0:28:10.430 --> 0:28:11.220 We're not marathon runners. 0:28:11.240 --> 0:28:14.220 We're not marathon runners. I'm not a runner, full stop. 0:28:14.560 --> 0:28:16.520 I'm a Pilates princess, okay? There's a big difference. 0:28:16.820 --> 0:28:20.619 But there is a certain category of marathons that you 0:28:20.660 --> 0:28:21.420 do around the world. 0:28:21.520 --> 0:28:23.380 One of them is Sydney. The next one I think 0:28:23.400 --> 0:28:25.690 is London. Maybe New York. 0:28:26.590 --> 0:28:28.810 If I'm getting this list wrong, I apologize if you 0:28:28.830 --> 0:28:31.869 listen to it at home. But to qualify for these marathons, 0:28:31.910 --> 0:28:33.770 you need to qualify a certain time. 0:28:33.490 --> 0:28:35.889 To the marathons underneath them, one of them being the 0:28:35.910 --> 0:28:36.560 Melbourne Marathon. 0:28:37.210 --> 0:28:40.900 If you qualify with a particular time, You can get 0:28:41.060 --> 0:28:44.230 into doing like the Sydney Marathon and then you can 0:28:44.270 --> 0:28:46.910 complete all of the marathons around the world. I think that's, 0:28:47.430 --> 0:28:51.590 it's kind of like playing Monopoly with marathons. Like you 0:28:51.610 --> 0:28:52.710 make your way around the board. 0:28:52.970 --> 0:28:53.750 It sounds right. 0:28:53.830 --> 0:28:54.110 Okay. 0:28:54.310 --> 0:28:57.510 Now, for people to qualify for these times, they don't 0:28:57.530 --> 0:28:59.790 want to ruin their time. And if they need to 0:28:59.830 --> 0:29:00.710 go to the toilet. 0:29:01.320 --> 0:29:06.140 They just shit themselves. Because God forbid they run under 0:29:06.160 --> 0:29:08.020 a base of four. 0:29:08.550 --> 0:29:09.479 Every second counts. 0:29:09.630 --> 0:29:10.670 Every second counts. 0:29:11.010 --> 0:29:14.330 So it's not uncommon in these marathons for the professional 0:29:14.390 --> 0:29:17.930 photography to take a couple flicks of people's shit on 0:29:17.970 --> 0:29:21.310 their legs. So my question is, I'm going to back 0:29:21.350 --> 0:29:23.670 the High Rocks girl, even though I don't want to 0:29:23.730 --> 0:29:24.070 back it. 0:29:24.250 --> 0:29:27.650 Everyone should just go to the toilet. It's not that deep, guys. Yeah. 0:29:27.970 --> 0:29:31.520 It's not that deep. But was she trying to qualify 0:29:31.600 --> 0:29:34.300 for a particular time and then she just thought, well, 0:29:34.340 --> 0:29:35.860 fuck it, I've shit myself now. I'm just going to 0:29:35.880 --> 0:29:39.160 let it go? I don't know what the answer is there. 0:29:39.270 --> 0:29:40.580 I think she wanted that. trophy. 0:29:41.020 --> 0:29:44.320 She wanted the trophy so bad that she was happy 0:29:44.360 --> 0:29:47.460 to shit herself. The person that's running the marathon wants 0:29:47.500 --> 0:29:50.459 to get into the qualifying time so badly that they 0:29:50.480 --> 0:29:51.880 will shit themselves. Yeah. 0:29:51.920 --> 0:29:54.360 Like how far would like an Olympic athlete take it? 0:29:54.550 --> 0:29:59.190 I'm sure that'd go there. And apparently... Exercise does. 0:29:59.310 --> 0:30:03.190 No, it stimulates the bells, babe. It stimulates the bells. 0:30:03.300 --> 0:30:06.340 I'm across every story I give you. This, I'm just 0:30:06.460 --> 0:30:09.680 so bad with toilet stuff that I've been avoiding it. Like, 0:30:09.720 --> 0:30:11.560 it keeps coming up on my social media. 0:30:11.580 --> 0:30:11.820 I know. 0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:13.340 I'm, like, scream swiping. 0:30:13.660 --> 0:30:16.400 I don't... I haven't, like... I've just read the statement 0:30:16.420 --> 0:30:17.959 because I was like, what the hell is this statement? 0:30:18.000 --> 0:30:20.640 And it was done so professionally. I had read right 0:30:20.660 --> 0:30:22.290 to the end and I was like, oh, this is 0:30:22.330 --> 0:30:23.650 the woman that shat herself. 0:30:24.150 --> 0:30:25.310 I was like, oh, okay. 0:30:25.330 --> 0:30:25.510 Yeah. 0:30:25.910 --> 0:30:28.410 I find, like, I'm mortified for her that it's become 0:30:28.450 --> 0:30:29.350 worldwide news. 0:30:29.390 --> 0:30:31.730 Yeah. Like, I feel, I, like, cringe for her. 0:30:32.070 --> 0:30:34.410 Like, you're not the only one that's read with no context. Like, 0:30:34.450 --> 0:30:37.700 what's she talking about? Let me Google this. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. 0:30:37.920 --> 0:30:39.240 And I haven't Googled anything. I just don't want to 0:30:39.260 --> 0:30:39.720 see the photos. 0:30:39.760 --> 0:30:40.080 No, no, no. 0:30:40.100 --> 0:30:41.420 I don't want to see them. I really don't want 0:30:41.440 --> 0:30:43.400 to see them. But, yeah, I found that out about 0:30:43.420 --> 0:30:44.020 the marathon. 0:30:44.040 --> 0:30:45.979 So, like, when this shit story came up, I'm like, well, 0:30:46.000 --> 0:30:48.520 it's the first of many for High Rocks because High 0:30:48.560 --> 0:30:51.370 Rocks is, like, increasing in popularity. Yeah. 0:30:52.050 --> 0:30:53.110 It's such a thing. 0:30:53.190 --> 0:30:54.510 Everyone's like, High Rocks, High Rocks, High Rocks. 0:30:54.530 --> 0:30:55.910 I've only just started hearing about it. 0:30:56.090 --> 0:30:56.630 Oh, really? 0:30:56.710 --> 0:30:57.870 Everyone in my life does it apparently. 0:30:57.890 --> 0:30:59.360 I think because I used to CrossFit. 0:30:59.580 --> 0:31:02.440 Yeah, okay. And then all my CrossFitter friends are now 0:31:02.480 --> 0:31:04.580 doing High Rocks competitions. I'm like, what the fuck is 0:31:04.600 --> 0:31:06.440 this High Rocks thing? And then I worked out what 0:31:06.460 --> 0:31:08.530 it was and I was like, no, it's not for me. 0:31:08.590 --> 0:31:11.530 No. It's not for me. Too much stress on the body. Yeah. 0:31:11.730 --> 0:31:12.330 No, thank you. 0:31:12.650 --> 0:31:14.770 Well, if you are listening and you are that high 0:31:14.810 --> 0:31:16.510 rocks woman, I'm sorry you shat your pants. 0:31:17.090 --> 0:31:18.630 Sorry you shat your pantaloons, doll. 0:31:18.830 --> 0:31:19.910 We love you and we're thinking of you. 0:31:19.930 --> 0:31:21.930 We love you. We're thinking of you. Sending you loves. 0:31:22.010 --> 0:31:24.730 Maybe not these two. We'll see. Okay. 0:31:24.890 --> 0:31:25.840 On to our next one. 0:31:25.880 --> 0:31:26.180 Yeah. 0:31:26.520 --> 0:31:30.420 Household voting. The American movement wants women to put their 0:31:30.460 --> 0:31:32.580 vote in their husband's hands. What? 0:31:32.860 --> 0:31:33.280 So. 0:31:33.500 --> 0:31:34.820 What? 0:31:35.320 --> 0:31:38.430 I'm not too across this stuff, but let me top line. So, 0:31:38.850 --> 0:31:43.390 at Turning Point USA's Women's Leadership Summit, trad wife influencer 0:31:43.410 --> 0:31:46.260 Savannah Stone told the room that a husband and wife 0:31:46.490 --> 0:31:47.229 are one flesh. 0:31:47.360 --> 0:31:47.650 Fuck off. 0:31:47.660 --> 0:31:51.460 And that he should cast their single ballot in elections. 0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:54.640 It's a small movement getting louder, and it's framed as 0:31:54.680 --> 0:31:56.940 being about togetherness and in harmony. 0:31:57.040 --> 0:31:59.280 Okay, well, if it's in harmony and it's togetherness, you 0:31:59.300 --> 0:32:00.580 can vote on behalf of your man. 0:32:00.760 --> 0:32:01.640 Yeah, exactly. 0:32:01.660 --> 0:32:04.200 How about we flip the stakes then, if it's about togetherness? 0:32:04.310 --> 0:32:04.550 Yeah. 0:32:04.590 --> 0:32:06.030 Fuck right off. 0:32:06.250 --> 0:32:09.070 So, this is something... Erica Kirk's behind it as well. 0:32:09.090 --> 0:32:12.860 But this is something really picking up. And it's essentially 0:32:12.930 --> 0:32:16.040 saying that if you're with someone, if you're marrying someone 0:32:16.060 --> 0:32:19.240 you love, you share the same beliefs and you're voting 0:32:19.280 --> 0:32:21.200 the same as well. So why shouldn't it be a 0:32:21.300 --> 0:32:22.180 household vote? 0:32:22.200 --> 0:32:24.960 But sometimes you don't share the same beliefs and that's 0:32:25.000 --> 0:32:26.120 what makes it beautiful. 0:32:26.360 --> 0:32:26.580 Yeah. 0:32:26.720 --> 0:32:29.420 That's what makes a partnership beautiful is that you're both 0:32:29.540 --> 0:32:32.290 understanding of different beliefs and Yeah. Yeah. 0:32:32.310 --> 0:32:32.420 Yeah. 0:32:50.770 --> 0:32:54.610 It's now becoming the uncommon perspective. If I was to 0:32:54.650 --> 0:32:58.100 marry a Greek, that is uncommon these days. It is 0:32:58.210 --> 0:33:01.920 uncommon that I am from both sides Greek. A lot 0:33:01.960 --> 0:33:05.640 of my friends are absolute beautiful cocktails, and that's what makes. 0:33:05.500 --> 0:33:07.260 Australia really, really, really beautiful. 0:33:07.320 --> 0:33:08.100 Exactly right. 0:33:08.580 --> 0:33:12.070 I think that this is really problematic. Oh, my God. 0:33:12.090 --> 0:33:12.270 Yeah. 0:33:12.420 --> 0:33:15.090 If this travels down to Australia, I will lose my mind. 0:33:15.110 --> 0:33:15.650 Go right back. 0:33:15.670 --> 0:33:15.770 Yeah. 0:33:16.330 --> 0:33:17.410 Yeah, we don't want that. 0:33:17.430 --> 0:33:20.469 I do think this group of people are used to 0:33:20.510 --> 0:33:23.360 those beliefs. A Greek will marry a Greek and this 0:33:23.400 --> 0:33:24.860 religion will marry this religion. 0:33:25.000 --> 0:33:29.120 I wonder if it is specifically, because this is very 0:33:29.340 --> 0:33:33.590 traditional to like the Texas region, where like they're very 0:33:33.710 --> 0:33:36.820 traditional in their approach and they're very like, I'm going 0:33:36.840 --> 0:33:39.280 to get in trouble by saying this, but like pro-gun laws, 0:33:39.480 --> 0:33:41.280 pro-traditional values. 0:33:41.620 --> 0:33:42.540 I wouldn't be surprised. 0:33:42.860 --> 0:33:44.820 Yeah. I don't want to get in trouble by saying 0:33:44.860 --> 0:33:47.160 anything incorrect. But yes, you guys get what I mean 0:33:47.180 --> 0:33:49.900 at home like that. Take what you will with that. 0:33:50.480 --> 0:33:52.160 Shall we move over to our favorite segment? 0:33:52.780 --> 0:33:52.900 Yeah. 0:33:52.920 --> 0:33:53.820 Which is Auntie Adele. 0:33:54.180 --> 0:33:54.770 Let's do it. 0:33:55.120 --> 0:33:57.350 Because we had an influx of Auntie Adeles today. 0:33:57.370 --> 0:33:59.070 Too many. I was getting head spins. 0:33:59.250 --> 0:34:03.070 I mean, I think that it's really fucking exciting, actually. Okay. 0:34:04.330 --> 0:34:07.200 Lou has sent one in. From Lou. I love that 0:34:07.220 --> 0:34:07.860 we got a name. 0:34:07.920 --> 0:34:08.819 She wants to be named. 0:34:09.239 --> 0:34:11.910 Lou, if you're listening at home, this is your Auntie 0:34:11.969 --> 0:34:16.070 Adele response. Okay. You seem like such a confident, headstrong, 0:34:16.130 --> 0:34:19.670 self-assured person. Well, darling, I'm a force of nature. 0:34:21.110 --> 0:34:23.710 I'm a chronic people pleaser, and it's actually something I 0:34:23.750 --> 0:34:26.230 really want to work on. Someone told me recently that 0:34:26.250 --> 0:34:29.430 they like how nothing seems to faze me and how 0:34:29.570 --> 0:34:32.050 everything seems like a water off a duck's back. 0:34:32.330 --> 0:34:33.489 That's really interesting. 0:34:33.989 --> 0:34:37.009 I'm just really shocked because I had this submission in 0:34:37.030 --> 0:34:40.080 the sheet before you even wrote the self-assured thing. 0:34:40.260 --> 0:34:41.020 I know. 0:34:41.060 --> 0:34:42.919 It's actually weird how well-rounded this. 0:34:42.820 --> 0:34:44.000 Episode has become. Oh, my God. 0:34:44.160 --> 0:34:46.420 Also, I find it really funny because even though I'm 0:34:46.460 --> 0:34:48.780 a force of nature, I'm also a people pleaser. 0:34:48.920 --> 0:34:52.680 Yes. And I've got both traits real bad. 0:34:53.860 --> 0:34:55.870 Not the force of nature stuff for me, but I'm 0:34:55.969 --> 0:34:56.790 a chronic people pleaser. 0:34:56.810 --> 0:34:58.710 I'm a people pleaser. It's actually a problem. 0:34:58.810 --> 0:35:01.570 Yeah. I think you show different elements of yourself. in 0:35:01.610 --> 0:35:04.779 different settings like at home i'm a confident queen in 0:35:04.800 --> 0:35:06.759 public i'm just like hey guys. 0:35:08.989 --> 0:35:11.049 I totally agree with that. Okay, so moving on. 0:35:11.330 --> 0:35:14.610 I'm not actually sure that's always a strength, especially in relationships, 0:35:14.750 --> 0:35:16.390 whether with friends or in dating. 0:35:16.750 --> 0:35:20.379 Do you have people-pleasing tendencies? I do, Dolly. I do. 0:35:20.800 --> 0:35:23.779 Do they ever overpower that voice in your head that says, wait, 0:35:23.820 --> 0:35:26.260 this doesn't feel right to me? I should say something 0:35:26.280 --> 0:35:29.320 and advocate for myself. Or have you found ways of 0:35:29.400 --> 0:35:32.239 listening to that voice and pushing it forward instead of 0:35:32.300 --> 0:35:34.570 pushing it down out of fear that you'll hurt someone's 0:35:34.610 --> 0:35:38.400 feeling or come off as rude? This is such a 0:35:38.700 --> 0:35:41.900 good submission, Lou. Thank you so much for writing in. 0:35:43.020 --> 0:35:45.420 I have found with myself, and maybe you share the 0:35:45.460 --> 0:35:48.299 similarities at home, I'm not sure, but I have found 0:35:48.340 --> 0:35:51.120 with myself that when something happens in the moment, I'm 0:35:51.260 --> 0:35:53.500 actually not good at my reaction. 0:35:53.800 --> 0:35:57.060 My reaction time is very slow and very limited. 0:35:57.600 --> 0:36:01.379 It takes me a day of digestion over a situation 0:36:01.420 --> 0:36:04.799 for me to go, um, didn't like that. 0:36:05.040 --> 0:36:05.320 Yeah. 0:36:07.070 --> 0:36:09.840 I shouldn't have acted in that way. Like my initial 0:36:09.920 --> 0:36:13.120 reaction to things, if someone punches me square between the eyes, 0:36:13.620 --> 0:36:16.339 I apologize that I got in their way. Like that's 0:36:16.380 --> 0:36:18.670 who I am. I am a chronic people pleaser. I'm 0:36:18.690 --> 0:36:21.029 a force of nature, but I'm a people pleaser. It's 0:36:21.050 --> 0:36:23.050 not until the next day that I've started to bruise 0:36:23.090 --> 0:36:23.470 and I'm. 0:36:23.370 --> 0:36:26.590 Like, oh, okay. Should they have thrown hands? 0:36:27.050 --> 0:36:27.720 I didn't like that. 0:36:27.780 --> 0:36:29.540 I didn't really like that. I didn't like how that 0:36:29.560 --> 0:36:30.100 sat with me. 0:36:30.160 --> 0:36:33.400 And I think that I am becoming much better or 0:36:34.350 --> 0:36:38.870 much more confident in being comfortable in my reaction time. 0:36:39.530 --> 0:36:41.350 I think there is a lot of pressure in like 0:36:41.450 --> 0:36:44.490 needing to react in the moment and be that person 0:36:44.530 --> 0:36:46.270 that's like, what the fuck did you just punch me? 0:36:46.370 --> 0:36:49.299 And you swing one back. We're not condoning violence here, guys. 0:36:49.320 --> 0:36:50.410 It's all metaphoric, by the way. 0:36:50.920 --> 0:36:53.140 But I'm becoming more confident in the fact that like 0:36:53.180 --> 0:36:55.920 if something didn't sit right with me and I'm digesting 0:36:55.960 --> 0:36:59.460 and it takes me a day to digest it. I'm 0:36:59.500 --> 0:37:02.460 becoming more confident in calling that person out in a 0:37:02.540 --> 0:37:07.919 very non-confrontational element or situation or environment the next day 0:37:07.960 --> 0:37:09.580 or the following day or the following week. 0:37:09.620 --> 0:37:10.620 Just giving that. 0:37:10.580 --> 0:37:15.110 Person time and myself time to actually digest what happened. 0:37:15.489 --> 0:37:17.710 Did I like how I reacted in that moment? Did 0:37:17.750 --> 0:37:20.270 I like how they reacted in that moment? Did I 0:37:20.350 --> 0:37:25.350 maybe not understand what they were saying properly? Did I, 0:37:25.690 --> 0:37:29.450 because of my tendencies and my insecurities, react indifferently? Like 0:37:29.770 --> 0:37:33.220 the force of nature comment. It hit me as something negative. 0:37:33.260 --> 0:37:35.759 But is that because I'm insecure about not wanting to 0:37:35.920 --> 0:37:38.820 overwhelm someone in a space? Or do they mean it 0:37:38.880 --> 0:37:40.700 as a positive insight and I've just taken it the 0:37:40.719 --> 0:37:44.020 wrong way? Like just giving yourself time to reflect, I think, 0:37:44.080 --> 0:37:45.220 is probably the best. 0:37:45.940 --> 0:37:47.560 I think that being a people pleaser. 0:37:48.260 --> 0:37:51.280 It can be problematic if you don't reflect on it yourself. 0:37:51.910 --> 0:37:54.430 So I would just say reflect on it at home. 0:37:54.810 --> 0:37:57.629 It's okay if it takes you time to sit with 0:37:57.730 --> 0:38:00.730 it and, like, actually understand it. Or if you need 0:38:00.770 --> 0:38:06.690 to bounce off someone and work on your people-pleasing skills, 0:38:07.250 --> 0:38:08.700 maybe talk to a therapist about it. 0:38:09.130 --> 0:38:11.810 It's just you learning about yourself, I would say. I 0:38:11.830 --> 0:38:13.989 would say it's a pretty big deal, the fact that 0:38:14.010 --> 0:38:16.180 you know that you are a people-pleaser. 0:38:16.390 --> 0:38:16.700 Legit. 0:38:17.280 --> 0:38:20.640 Like that's self-awareness in itself, no? Amazing. What do you 0:38:20.660 --> 0:38:21.130 think about it? 0:38:21.350 --> 0:38:23.890 I like what you said about taking time to digest. 0:38:24.370 --> 0:38:27.969 And Luke, she wrote her name. I don't like when 0:38:28.010 --> 0:38:31.330 people put timelines on things. It's like, oh, well, I 0:38:31.350 --> 0:38:33.930 didn't raise this in the moment, so I just won't 0:38:33.969 --> 0:38:36.740 say anything. That's where resentment builds. 0:38:36.739 --> 0:38:37.000 100%. 0:38:37.000 --> 0:38:40.339 And you'll actually struggle to express it in the right way. 0:38:40.930 --> 0:38:43.190 Because you've had too much time to then dwell on the. 0:38:43.270 --> 0:38:44.380 You have the shower thoughts. 0:38:44.489 --> 0:38:44.839 Yeah. 0:38:44.880 --> 0:38:46.440 Or the shower arguments. Yeah. 0:38:46.460 --> 0:38:48.040 Where you're like in the shower washing your hair and 0:38:48.060 --> 0:38:49.440 you're like, oh my God, if they said that to 0:38:49.480 --> 0:38:52.020 me today, I would be like, fuck you, you little bitch, 0:38:52.120 --> 0:38:54.089 you little whole ass bitch. Like you just, you're not, 0:38:54.590 --> 0:38:55.450 it's okay. 0:38:55.510 --> 0:38:55.730 Yeah. 0:38:55.910 --> 0:38:58.589 That's where the resentment builds on the shower. Yeah. 0:38:58.750 --> 0:39:01.570 But then Lou also has the ability to be confident. 0:39:02.000 --> 0:39:04.560 I think it's hot to be like, hey, I'm so 0:39:04.620 --> 0:39:07.040 sorry I didn't bring it up in the moment, but 0:39:07.060 --> 0:39:09.480 I've had time to reflect on this. I just want 0:39:09.500 --> 0:39:10.469 to talk about this. 0:39:10.680 --> 0:39:11.239 I also think. 0:39:11.260 --> 0:39:12.240 I think that's powerful. 0:39:12.469 --> 0:39:15.210 I think it's also very, very hot for people to 0:39:15.270 --> 0:39:18.089 think that it's water off a duck's back. I think 0:39:18.130 --> 0:39:20.950 it's very like let them think what they want to think, Joel. 0:39:20.989 --> 0:39:22.870 Let them think that like their words don't affect you 0:39:22.910 --> 0:39:26.069 in the moment. You're like, whatever unbothered yeah that's that 0:39:26.170 --> 0:39:30.220 holds way more power than you reacting in the moment 0:39:30.660 --> 0:39:33.900 and throwing words like if someone like I don't know 0:39:34.400 --> 0:39:36.500 I always say if someone says something really rude to 0:39:36.540 --> 0:39:38.660 me in the moment I just sit there in silence 0:39:39.080 --> 0:39:41.680 and I ask them to repeat themselves I love that 0:39:42.020 --> 0:39:45.240 if it was genuinely that rude and your initial thought 0:39:45.300 --> 0:39:47.440 is like oh didn't like that in the gut I 0:39:48.260 --> 0:39:50.940 It gives you time to digest and just sit there. 0:39:50.960 --> 0:39:53.680 You like give it three, four, five seconds of silence 0:39:53.739 --> 0:39:56.680 and you just go, sorry, can you just say that again? Yeah. 0:39:57.060 --> 0:39:58.720 And it gives them a moment of reflection. 0:39:58.739 --> 0:40:00.540 Yeah. And puts them in the corner. It's like, will 0:40:00.580 --> 0:40:02.759 you say that again? Do you truly believe that? 0:40:02.800 --> 0:40:05.200 But you're still, a part of you is still unbothered 0:40:05.219 --> 0:40:07.160 by it. You don't say it with sass. You don't 0:40:07.200 --> 0:40:08.719 turn around and be like, oh, do you want to 0:40:08.760 --> 0:40:11.640 say that again? Like, say that again to me. It's 0:40:11.680 --> 0:40:12.440 not confrontational. 0:40:12.460 --> 0:40:13.900 It's like, oh, sorry, can you just repeat yourself? 0:40:13.940 --> 0:40:14.160 Mm-hmm. 0:40:14.600 --> 0:40:14.920 I don't know. 0:40:15.080 --> 0:40:17.390 I think, yeah, I think it's hot. Moving on to 0:40:17.410 --> 0:40:19.330 the next one. Auntie Adele number two. We don't have 0:40:19.370 --> 0:40:21.070 a name to this one. They can be anonymous, guys. 0:40:21.530 --> 0:40:22.969 We love them nonetheless. I mean, if you do want 0:40:22.989 --> 0:40:23.580 to leave your names. 0:40:23.860 --> 0:40:24.000 Mm-hmm. 0:40:24.760 --> 0:40:27.359 We love to know them. We'll give you a shout out. 0:40:28.020 --> 0:40:29.570 I'm a girl and I have a gym crush on 0:40:29.620 --> 0:40:30.830 a guy who works at the gym. 0:40:31.770 --> 0:40:33.150 I love this. 0:40:33.570 --> 0:40:36.270 And we have spoken a few times pretty briefly. 0:40:36.790 --> 0:40:39.330 I always find him looking at me when I'm working 0:40:39.410 --> 0:40:41.469 out and he even invited me to do a specific 0:40:41.510 --> 0:40:42.570 class when he does it. 0:40:43.020 --> 0:40:47.360 How do I take the next step? I love this question. 0:40:47.760 --> 0:40:50.180 He's pretty shy, so I feel like I always have 0:40:50.219 --> 0:40:53.930 to go up to him. Should a gym crush stay 0:40:54.030 --> 0:40:56.130 as a crush or am I going to have to 0:40:56.170 --> 0:40:57.089 find a new gym? 0:40:58.910 --> 0:40:59.469 I love it. 0:40:59.730 --> 0:41:02.090 I have the most perfect segue for you, like the 0:41:02.130 --> 0:41:05.360 most perfect segue. If you have a gym crush and 0:41:05.400 --> 0:41:08.180 he's invited you to a class, go to the class, 0:41:08.660 --> 0:41:09.340 do the class. 0:41:09.460 --> 0:41:10.570 And then just be like, oh, what are you doing now? 0:41:10.580 --> 0:41:12.839 You want to get a coffee? Yeah. You've both worked out. 0:41:13.200 --> 0:41:15.020 You're both looking like shit because you just did a class. 0:41:15.100 --> 0:41:15.939 It's fine. No one cares. 0:41:15.960 --> 0:41:17.160 And just be like, oh, do you want to get 0:41:17.200 --> 0:41:19.460 a coffee next door? And just like start to build 0:41:19.500 --> 0:41:23.640 that routine. Start to build that. And then hopefully they 0:41:23.700 --> 0:41:26.160 ask you out. If not, why don't you just ask 0:41:26.200 --> 0:41:28.650 them out? I don't think it has to be so like, oh, 0:41:28.690 --> 0:41:29.830 it's a crush. I have to go up to him 0:41:29.850 --> 0:41:30.930 and give him my number straight away. 0:41:31.110 --> 0:41:33.509 No, it's not like a formal setting. No. Because I 0:41:33.530 --> 0:41:35.730 think there's like some wriggle room to play around. 0:41:35.790 --> 0:41:36.310 Yeah. 0:41:36.550 --> 0:41:38.790 And I think that like coffee after a class is 0:41:38.810 --> 0:41:42.350 like a good segue into like getting to know the person. 0:41:42.760 --> 0:41:46.320 I actually, back in my single days, would finish a 0:41:46.360 --> 0:41:50.680 class and if, say, there was someone, people get shakes. 0:41:50.700 --> 0:41:51.759 After the gym as well. 0:41:51.780 --> 0:41:53.180 So I'm like, oh, are you getting a shake there 0:41:53.219 --> 0:41:54.340 by any chance? 0:41:55.390 --> 0:41:57.469 I think we need to move it out of the 0:41:57.510 --> 0:41:58.589 traditional setting of the gym. 0:41:58.670 --> 0:42:00.890 Yeah, and it's his work as well. So you do 0:42:00.910 --> 0:42:02.450 need to kind of tread carefully. 0:42:02.469 --> 0:42:04.190 If he's doing the class with you and it's like 0:42:04.230 --> 0:42:05.950 not within his work hours, be like, oh, do you 0:42:05.969 --> 0:42:06.910 want to go to coffee next door? 0:42:07.340 --> 0:42:09.880 Yeah. And just like move it away from the gym. 0:42:10.200 --> 0:42:13.160 So your experiences aren't solely within the gym because then 0:42:13.180 --> 0:42:15.919 it can be you growing a friendship and you might 0:42:15.980 --> 0:42:18.510 work out that like, okay, yeah, he's cute, but he 0:42:18.620 --> 0:42:21.710 doesn't really like tick my boxes and that's okay too. 0:42:21.750 --> 0:42:23.489 And then you can just remain friends. It's not like 0:42:23.850 --> 0:42:25.010 you're committing to anything. 0:42:25.210 --> 0:42:27.870 Yeah. And the, should this stay a gym crush or 0:42:27.910 --> 0:42:30.790 should a gym crush be a gym crush or will 0:42:30.810 --> 0:42:33.130 I have to find a new gym? You don't know that. 0:42:33.150 --> 0:42:36.210 So just like find a few different avenues to scope 0:42:36.230 --> 0:42:37.030 it out a bit more. 0:42:37.090 --> 0:42:38.649 And I don't think it's a bad thing if you've 0:42:38.670 --> 0:42:40.230 got someone there that's like cute. 0:42:40.390 --> 0:42:40.950 Yeah. 0:42:41.090 --> 0:42:41.450 I don't know. 0:42:41.590 --> 0:42:43.410 And I can just say cute gym guy if it 0:42:43.430 --> 0:42:43.989 all goes wrong. 0:42:44.050 --> 0:42:44.190 Yeah. 0:42:44.210 --> 0:42:45.630 And you're just like, oh, yeah, he's cute. 0:42:45.710 --> 0:42:46.950 I used to talk to him back in the day 0:42:47.010 --> 0:42:48.070 or like I used to do classes with him or 0:42:48.110 --> 0:42:49.529 I still do classes with him. It doesn't mean it 0:42:49.610 --> 0:42:50.549 has to go somewhere. 0:42:50.860 --> 0:42:52.560 Yeah. Doesn't mean that you have to move, Jim. 0:42:52.800 --> 0:42:56.000 I find Islam is so exciting. Please write back with updates. 0:42:56.080 --> 0:42:58.700 Yes, we want updates all the time. Guys, thank you 0:42:58.739 --> 0:43:00.739 so much for joining us today. We only had time 0:43:00.780 --> 0:43:03.260 for two Auntie Adele's, but there'll be plenty, plenty, plenty 0:43:03.280 --> 0:43:04.540 more Auntie Adele's to come. 0:43:04.860 --> 0:43:06.240 We are going to do. 0:43:06.160 --> 0:43:09.069 An Auntie Adele specific episode, so it's coming up. So 0:43:09.150 --> 0:43:11.270 open your ears and get ready for that one. In 0:43:11.310 --> 0:43:13.609 the meantime, thanks for joining us this week. We love 0:43:13.630 --> 0:43:15.250 you lots and lots and we'll see you next week. 0:43:15.310 --> 0:43:15.750 Okay, bye. 0:43:15.870 --> 0:43:16.390 Bye.