Speaker 1: Apoday production.
Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the
Speaker 2: land on which we gather today and pay our respects
Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect
Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. Welcome
Speaker 2: to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.
Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn.
Speaker 3: Laugh, and level up together.
Speaker 2: Let's go deep, let the emotions flow, and find the
Speaker 2: lessons to grow and Glow.
Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow and
Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander. Hello, guy, welcome back
Speaker 1: to the show. Thanks for joining us. Today's episode it's big.
Speaker 1: It's a big one.
Speaker 3: It's a really really good one.
Speaker 1: And it's something I think most of you will relate
Speaker 1: to because it's all about addictions. We're talking sugar, we're
Speaker 1: talking alcohol, we're talking coffee. So if you are addicted
Speaker 1: to any of those, even if you're not fully addicted,
Speaker 1: but you feel like you maybe lean on it too
Speaker 1: much in different seasons of your life, this episode you
Speaker 1: will get so much out of. But first, my share
Speaker 1: of the.
Speaker 2: Week is a book called Dopamine Nation, and for me, personally.
Speaker 2: This is what really opened my eyes to how many
Speaker 2: of us have day to day addictions and just how
Speaker 2: easily we can access dopamine and was really the start
Speaker 2: of this journey for me. So domination. An incredible book
Speaker 2: is doctor Anna. I don't want to butcher her last
Speaker 2: name Leurs.
Speaker 3: Something Skia, something skey like.
Speaker 2: She is just incredible. The way she explains everything too
Speaker 2: is really easy to digest that. She's also got videos
Speaker 2: on YouTube and stuff, and there's like condensed down versions
Speaker 2: of the book online that I've found well on YouTube.
Speaker 2: So if you're wanting to like hear the main takeaways,
Speaker 2: go have a little YouTube around this book dopamin Nation.
Speaker 2: But also like if you want to dive in and
Speaker 2: really understand it, I recommend to get the book.
Speaker 1: Oh so good. I just love hearing your passion behind
Speaker 1: when you read books. It makes me really want to
Speaker 1: read it so much. I feel like this book really
Speaker 1: has been the change for you.
Speaker 3: I've changing because.
Speaker 1: I feel like you've heard bits and pieces along the way,
Speaker 1: Like I remember, even before you gave up caffeine when
Speaker 1: you were going through a really really hard time, I
Speaker 1: told you the caffeine's not great for anxiety. But I
Speaker 1: just don't think you were ready to like hear or
Speaker 1: give up on That's something. With anything, it's like you
Speaker 1: have to be ready to hear it and ready to
Speaker 1: want to change. But this book, I feel like, was
Speaker 1: like exactly what you need to hear at the exact
Speaker 1: right moment, and it's really shifted everything for you.
Speaker 3: And I'm such a fact person.
Speaker 2: If there's scientific evidence to back things up, and I
Speaker 2: can understand it and go, oh, this is what it's doing.
Speaker 3: To my body.
Speaker 2: If somebody says to me like it will help with anxiety,
Speaker 2: I think for me, I'm like, okay, okay, cool, Like
Speaker 2: how much I don't really know? But then when you
Speaker 2: actually understand the depths of it, it's like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: do I really want to feel like that anything?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what's it actually doing to my body? I'm excited.
Speaker 1: My Share of the Week is something random, but it's
Speaker 1: a tongue scraper or you ever heard of it? No,
Speaker 1: So a lot of people can brush their tongues, but
Speaker 1: this tongue scrapar It's meant to help with your digestive
Speaker 1: system and clean out and scrape away any toxins that
Speaker 1: we build up in our sleep. So if you don't
Speaker 1: do it, then when you have your first sip of
Speaker 1: water whatever, you kind of just wash the toxins back down. Okay,
Speaker 1: I haven't looked up the scientific facts and studies on it.
Speaker 1: I've been recommended it, and I've seen it on socials
Speaker 1: here and there, and I've been using it for about
Speaker 1: a year now. I don't know why I haven't recommended
Speaker 1: it sooner, But I feel gross if I don't scrape
Speaker 1: my tongue in the morning. It's the first thing that
Speaker 1: I do when I get up is scrape my tongue
Speaker 1: before I have my water, and I just think about
Speaker 1: how much toxins I'm like scraping off. It sounds gross,
Speaker 1: but it's like there's gunky white stuff that comes off
Speaker 1: your tongue. It just makes me feel so clean and
Speaker 1: clear and anything that I think is going to help
Speaker 1: my immunity, my digestice system, my skin, my health overall.
Speaker 1: Such a little habit that you can implement and it's
Speaker 1: like second h to me. Now good. So you just
Speaker 1: get them from health food stores online. Just a couple
Speaker 1: of scrapes. You'll see it come off and I go
Speaker 1: back in for a second one. There's hardly anything. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what does it look like? It's like an arch like
Speaker 1: a horse's hoof, Like it's just like a U shape.
Speaker 1: It just hold your handles, spaces down. I've got a
Speaker 1: metal one.
Speaker 2: Then what Okay, Yeah, so I recommit that grandom.
Speaker 1: But if you're interested, go and look into it more.
Speaker 1: But I highly recommend it. Awesome, Okay, so let's get
Speaker 1: straight into this episode. So I'm so excited. The timing
Speaker 1: of this was so good. It was before we went
Speaker 1: into the Eden Health Retreat, which if you haven't listened
Speaker 1: to the episode, it was just our experience, this beautiful
Speaker 1: retreat that we went to. I would go back tomorrow
Speaker 1: if I could. You started reading this book beforehand, so
Speaker 1: I feel like you were kind of like learning about
Speaker 1: it and dabbling and like wanting to maybe slow down
Speaker 1: on your coffee and alcohol. I was a full blown
Speaker 1: sugar addict. I feel like the last couple of months
Speaker 1: I just leant on sugar. I was so exhausted all
Speaker 1: the time from I think just the news of my
Speaker 1: surgery and then processing what I wanted to do with baseline,
Speaker 1: coming to that decision, still being a mom stialking up
Speaker 1: my responsibilities I'm so burnt out, so I just needed
Speaker 1: a pick me up, and I turned to sugar. And
Speaker 1: I love Lolly's and I love chocolate. I'll always have
Speaker 1: but it became a daily habit to the point like
Speaker 1: one of the girls at Higherway brought me this massive
Speaker 1: lolly jar and like filled it up, and I was
Speaker 1: just snacking on them all the time, like it was normal.
Speaker 1: And I literally started to normalize it. And then I realized,
Speaker 1: holy shit, this is definitely something I'm leaning on it.
Speaker 1: My skin started to break out, I started to feel bloated.
Speaker 1: I looked more inflamed, like I could tell it was
Speaker 1: just more puffy. I definitely gained a little bit of weight.
Speaker 1: I just was not feeling good. I wasn't sleeping good.
Speaker 1: Of course, it's going to affect your moods, everything that
Speaker 1: I value. I'm like, what the hell am I doing?
Speaker 1: And then eating health treat came along, and that's when
Speaker 1: I was like, no, this is my break. And there
Speaker 1: was nothing out there that I could have that was
Speaker 1: like bad for me, your sugary and I haven't touched
Speaker 1: any lollies or anything since, and I felt so much better.
Speaker 1: I've limited my gluten and dairy or whatever. But you
Speaker 1: do get in these little habits in a slippery slope
Speaker 1: and you start to normalize it, and then when you
Speaker 1: start to feel the effects, it's just like, oh, but
Speaker 1: it's such a hard habit to break. I really really struggled.
Speaker 1: My best when you're trying to break a sugar habit
Speaker 1: is is to replace with healthier alternatives first. Once you
Speaker 1: do that, then you just see that you don't actually
Speaker 1: need it as much. So I instantly swap lollies for
Speaker 1: clean treats and for fruit because it's still sweet, it's
Speaker 1: still yummy. And at night time, I was having these
Speaker 1: little mini cyclone icy poles because they were mini. I
Speaker 1: was justifying it. I was like, they're only small, They've
Speaker 1: only got this mount in there, blah blah blah. So
Speaker 1: now I swapped that to like a decaf mocker or
Speaker 1: just like a healthier version of a hot chocolate or
Speaker 1: my bye Bi bloat tea. But I've got something in
Speaker 1: to replace it, and now I'm like out of that
Speaker 1: happened most of the time. I just don't even need
Speaker 1: something afterwards anymore. Yeah, so that was kind of in
Speaker 1: a nutshell mind, But I feel like your experience and
Speaker 1: journey has been way more life changing.
Speaker 2: Because I think the things that I've been doing, I'd
Speaker 2: been doing for so long, and I realized that these
Speaker 2: unhealthy habits were a part of my toolbox and helped
Speaker 2: me cope through daily life. But I needed to replace
Speaker 2: them with healthy ways to do that.
Speaker 1: And was normalized too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was normalized. So yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, Kurt and I love a drink, and it
Speaker 2: was just a part of our weekly routine. You have
Speaker 2: a big day, come home, how do you relax?
Speaker 3: You have a wine? Yea.
Speaker 2: Then the next day you wake up and you feel
Speaker 2: like shit and you underwy. You realize as well that
Speaker 2: when you abstain from it and you stop having it,
Speaker 2: all the feelings that you were feeling start to disappear.
Speaker 3: When you stop having it.
Speaker 2: The next day you wake up, you feel more anxious,
Speaker 2: everything feels even harder. You need to grab a coffee
Speaker 2: because you're tired because you're drinking the night before. And
Speaker 2: it's just this vicious, vicious cycle. But basically what made
Speaker 2: me want to do it is Kurt and I were
Speaker 2: drinking a little bit too much and I one morning
Speaker 2: when I was a bit annoyed to Kurt, It's been
Speaker 2: completely candid and open here. He had a bit of
Speaker 2: a night out and I was a bit annoyed, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm going to read this book and
Speaker 2: pick it up and see what this is all about.
Speaker 2: It had been recommended to me before, and I think
Speaker 2: I knew that I needed to read it, but I
Speaker 2: feel like I put it on because I wasn't ready.
Speaker 2: I wasn't ready to actually give up those things like alcohol.
Speaker 2: It definitely has been a crutch for me.
Speaker 1: You had that awareness, You're like, I know what that
Speaker 1: book's going to tell me. It's not quite ready to
Speaker 1: hear it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do I want to hear this?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Am I ready to?
Speaker 2: So I'll Delvin and explain a little bit of the
Speaker 2: main takeaways that I took from this book and how
Speaker 2: it's kind of changed and transformed our lives. But right
Speaker 2: now I'm I think I'm thirty five days no alcohol
Speaker 2: and no caffeine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was tough at the start.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you liked to give up two
Speaker 1: things that are very addictive for most people. Oh, it's incredible.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2: So basically, how dopamine works, which is a really good
Speaker 2: way that she explained it is it's on like a seesaw.
Speaker 2: So whenever we get a dopamine hit and we feel dopamine,
Speaker 2: our natural response afterwards is we need to feel some
Speaker 2: sort of pain. So in today's day and age, unhealthy
Speaker 2: dopamine is so easily accessible. We wake up in the morning,
Speaker 2: we check our phones.
Speaker 3: Oh, somebody sent me a text message. Dopamine.
Speaker 2: You go downstairs, make yourself a coffee dopamine hit. Then
Speaker 2: you go, okay. Now I'm going to have a chocolate
Speaker 2: at morning tea because that dope meine is wearing off
Speaker 2: and I'm feeling shit, So I'm going to reach for
Speaker 2: a chocolate dopamine hit.
Speaker 3: Then the out.
Speaker 2: Check your phone again, dopamine here. Then you go, okay.
Speaker 2: Days over, I'm gonna have a bit. I'm going to
Speaker 2: have a wine dopamine hit. But what is happening in
Speaker 2: this modern day society. It's dopamine is becoming so easily
Speaker 2: accessible that is actually throwing our balance completely off. This
Speaker 2: is why in wealthy countries so many people are so
Speaker 2: depressed because your new normal baseline is to have this
Speaker 2: easy access of the dopamine hits. So you stop actually
Speaker 2: feeling happy and normal unless you're having them in your life.
Speaker 2: So little things like going for a walk, watching a sunset,
Speaker 2: watching a sun rise, you don't gain that dopamine hit
Speaker 2: from it anymore.
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, where it's like ten twenty years ago, it
Speaker 1: just wasn't as easy to access. It's easy to access
Speaker 1: more simple things in life would give it to like
Speaker 1: connection nature. That's it.
Speaker 2: So the only way for us to regulate that balance
Speaker 2: again and get the balance back to where it should
Speaker 2: be is either to abstain from it for minimum thirty days,
Speaker 2: which is why I've done that, or to feel pain
Speaker 2: pain healthy pain, so because they go hand in hand, right,
Speaker 2: So the best ways to do this is hot therapy,
Speaker 2: cold therapy, exercise, and intermitted fasting. So what happens is
Speaker 2: when we go and we do these things, not only
Speaker 2: are we getting the dopamine hit afterwards. So if you
Speaker 2: go and do a long sauna, you are feeling pain.
Speaker 2: So the rebound of that is you get a dope
Speaker 2: mean hit, but it's not a big spike and then
Speaker 2: you crash. You will feel it for like seven hours
Speaker 2: of your day. So what it does is it starts
Speaker 2: to make you literally feel happier. So you can do
Speaker 2: this anything that you choose, even with you know, we're
Speaker 2: going to do a whole episode.
Speaker 3: About digital detox.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you decide to do it, say with
Speaker 2: your phone, if you're feeling like you're becoming really addicted,
Speaker 2: then this is a way to just literally make you
Speaker 2: feel less depressed and more joyous in your life.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Kurt and I were definitely reaching on this as a
Speaker 2: crutch in our life, and we were like, you know what,
Speaker 2: let's abstain, but at the same time, let's also do
Speaker 2: everything we can to feel pain, the healthy.
Speaker 1: Pain, healthy pain, and healthy stress. Hey yeah, so cool.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, not only did we abstain for the thirty days,
Speaker 2: but we did saunas every single day. We did cold
Speaker 2: therapy at least three times a week, We did intermedded
Speaker 2: fasting for a good chunk of it, and exercise five
Speaker 2: times a week because we were like, we want to
Speaker 2: get our baseline back to where it should be. I
Speaker 2: guess the journey of this. At the start, I was
Speaker 2: determined to do it because I was pissed off a Kurt.
Speaker 1: And I wanted to.
Speaker 3: Te myself course. I wanted to see if I could
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 2: Which is hence away through the coffee there too, because
Speaker 2: I knew for me coffee would have been through the
Speaker 2: coffee really hard, really hard for me. Like that is
Speaker 2: what I am known as.
Speaker 1: That love your morning coffee.
Speaker 2: Since the day I started drinking coffee, I've not gone
Speaker 2: like a day without it.
Speaker 1: And it's like pretty quickly as soon as you're up,
Speaker 1: like even when we can't hit it brizzy, it's like
Speaker 1: you met your coffee straight away, beautiful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, get that dope for me, Yeah, get it
Speaker 2: in and now, Like in hindsight, I can see how
Speaker 2: addicted I was, but I can also feel the effects
Speaker 2: on my body that afternoon crash, which you probably.
Speaker 3: Would have got from sugar too. Oh yeah, don't get
Speaker 3: it anymore, No, don't get it anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The journey starting off was really really tough, and some
Speaker 2: tips and tricks that I feel like really helped me
Speaker 2: along the way. Burstings first, getting it all out of
Speaker 2: the house, put it away. I actually gave away some
Speaker 2: bottles of wine that I had. Kurt took all he
Speaker 2: had a carner beer, but he took it all out
Speaker 2: of the fridge so it's not cold, yeah, which worked
Speaker 2: pretty well for like the first week, maybe because you're
Speaker 2: on a roll, you're getting started, you're excited.
Speaker 3: Motivation's hard, motivation's high.
Speaker 1: Motivation will dip.
Speaker 2: That's exactly right. And then we kind of started to
Speaker 2: find some replacements. So Kurt was doing a lot of
Speaker 2: soft drinks in the afternoon, but healthy ones like next
Speaker 2: Bar or Butchers, soda, water, stuff like that to kind
Speaker 2: of replace it. Non alcoholic wine is not a vibe guys.
Speaker 3: It tastes so bad.
Speaker 2: So that didn't work for me. But in the afternoon
Speaker 2: I did the same sort of thing. I would have,
Speaker 2: like a relaxing tea, because what I was searching for
Speaker 2: and what my body wanted was to relax at the
Speaker 2: end of the day. I was wanting it to help
Speaker 2: me switch off. So instead of reaching for the red wine,
Speaker 2: I was making myself like a camera mold tea. Also,
Speaker 2: what we were doing is giving each other time to
Speaker 2: go have a sauna so we could get that you know,
Speaker 2: relaxing time on our own as well that we were
Speaker 2: both obviously craving at the end of each day when
Speaker 2: we ran for a drink and then with coffee at
Speaker 2: the start. We replaced it with teas and bone broths
Speaker 2: and it wasn't quite cutting it. So then we started
Speaker 2: actually treating ourselves. I think it was like twice or
Speaker 2: three times a week, and we'd go out and buy
Speaker 2: a decaf one from a restaurant.
Speaker 3: Most of the time it tastes pretty dunk close.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes it's really bad, but you will find the
Speaker 2: cafes that are right for you, and that tastes a
Speaker 2: right But just the effects on how I feel afterwards,
Speaker 2: and I've done a whole episode on my period how
Speaker 2: much I feel like this has had also an effect
Speaker 2: on my periods as well, which is crazy.
Speaker 1: And just been huge and so important. Huge.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just feel so much more regulated, I feel
Speaker 2: so much more grounded. I feel like I'm way less frazzled,
Speaker 2: and I just feel alive.
Speaker 1: I feel alive, I look alive.
Speaker 2: I feel fantastic, And I can't believe that I put
Speaker 2: my body through that stress for so long and even
Speaker 2: so many times in my life day and day out.
Speaker 2: I was having a glass of wine through heaps of
Speaker 2: times of my life. Every time I'm cooking dinner, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna have a glass of wine if it came a
Speaker 2: part of my normal routine. And until you actually, and
Speaker 2: it's not the first week. You won't feel it because
Speaker 2: it stays in your body, I think for up to
Speaker 2: five days. So you've got to give yourself. That's what
Speaker 2: they say. With the abstaining as well, it's got to
Speaker 2: be a minimum of thirty days. And at the end
Speaker 2: of it, like I turned to Ashley and I said
Speaker 2: to her, I was like, I don't even know when
Speaker 2: I want to have a drink again. Like I thought
Speaker 2: i'd get to the end and be like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: going to have a champagne to celebrate. Yeah, And we
Speaker 2: even went to events and stuff like that, and I
Speaker 2: was like, even the last night dinner, I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel too good, so good.
Speaker 2: And I'm not saying that I'm never going to drink again,
Speaker 2: but I'm going to do it when I feel like
Speaker 2: it's the right time, and I'm not going to overdo it.
Speaker 2: It's not going to be a thing where it's like
Speaker 2: once a week or once a month. It's just going
Speaker 2: to be like when there's an occasion or when I
Speaker 2: feel like it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2: But I also am so mindful now of seeing the
Speaker 2: effects on the following day that I'm like, do I
Speaker 2: want to feel that tomorrow?
Speaker 1: Is it worth it until you.
Speaker 2: Actually stop it and you can feel the effects. You
Speaker 2: don't even know then how good you can feel if
Speaker 2: you are struggling with anxiety. If you can take anything
Speaker 2: away from this, please even if you don't drink alcohol
Speaker 2: but you drink coffee, try because even what we do
Speaker 2: at home is we will use a decaf and add
Speaker 2: some caramel like zyrup in it just to give ourselves
Speaker 2: like something nice because we're not having a normal coffee.
Speaker 3: Just give it a go.
Speaker 1: And this includes pre workouts. Yoh, I'm so like. It
Speaker 1: makes me so sad to see so many women post
Speaker 1: about anxiety and hormone issues and can't sleep and they're
Speaker 1: taking pre workouts because they think it's better for you
Speaker 1: than a coffee. If you're gonna have anything, a coffee
Speaker 1: is better than pre workout. Like most pre workouts, you
Speaker 1: look on the back at the amount of caffeine they have.
Speaker 1: It has not one, not two, sometimes three or four
Speaker 1: times the amount of one standard coffee. There's like anywhere
Speaker 1: from one hundred and fifty to three hundred and fifty
Speaker 1: milligrams of caffeine and you're having that in one hit.
Speaker 1: If you have any tendency to be anxious, like get
Speaker 1: rid of the pre workout and get rid of the caffeine.
Speaker 1: It will change your life.
Speaker 3: It will change your life.
Speaker 1: I've never been a huge coffee drink cerup, but years ago,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you remember, when I brought out
Speaker 1: my own magazine. I had Ashleybind's magazine that was sold
Speaker 1: in coals and news agencies. It was really big achievement.
Speaker 1: At the same time, I was also publishing a book.
Speaker 1: You guys don't know. I'm an author and I have
Speaker 1: my own book. It's called Fifteen Lessons That Have Changed
Speaker 1: My Life. And we did this in the same period
Speaker 1: of time, and I was stretched, like writing a book
Speaker 1: is huge, Creating a magazine and all the content for
Speaker 1: a magazine like, oh my goodness. And I always thought,
Speaker 1: like Steve's a massive coffee drinker. Most people I know
Speaker 1: a massive coffee drinkers. And I thought, gosh, I'm going
Speaker 1: to try drink coffee because I'm tired, I'm exhausted. And
Speaker 1: I thought everyone else seems to love it and be
Speaker 1: fine with it, like okay, cool, I'm going to try it.
Speaker 1: So I started having two coffees a day, morning and
Speaker 1: lunchtime to get me through. And I also had a
Speaker 1: lot of photo shooes at that time as well, so
Speaker 1: I feel like I have a lot of time to
Speaker 1: eat and coffee is a bit of a suppressant, so
Speaker 1: it helped me get through my mornings. I was intimitate
Speaker 1: fasting without even realizing it. I'd just have the coffee
Speaker 1: because it would get me through to lunchtime, and what
Speaker 1: do you know, started to feel anxious, started to feel
Speaker 1: like crap, and going through that process, I was like, Ah, Intuitively,
Speaker 1: I wonder if I've just always known that caffeine isn't
Speaker 1: good for my body, and now I've experienced having it lots.
Speaker 1: This is why I don't have it, and I'm the same.
Speaker 1: It's not that I never drink coffee. I absolutely love
Speaker 1: the taste of coffee. If there's coffee flavored ice cream,
Speaker 1: a coffee flavored sweet, I love coffee. The taste of
Speaker 1: it is so frickin delicious. But I always get a
Speaker 1: decaf or like once a week before my big group
Speaker 1: booted glass that I do. I get the before you
Speaker 1: speak coffee sachets. I'll have a quarter of the sachet.
Speaker 1: So it probably doesn't even do anything. It's just like
Speaker 1: the placebo effective. O Oh, I've got a coffee Shen'll
Speaker 1: literally have the tiniest little bit, but it's in control.
Speaker 1: It's not a tool that I lean on all the time.
Speaker 1: And for someone that has had anxiety in the past
Speaker 1: and panic attacks, it's just why would I do that
Speaker 1: to myself? Like you're asking for trouble. If you're going
Speaker 1: to keep consuming caffeine, it's not going to make you
Speaker 1: feel good. And it's so cool to experience that myself
Speaker 1: and then to watch you go through this and coming
Speaker 1: out the other side. And then also Megsie, my girlfriend,
Speaker 1: like she went through the same with alcohol. She loved
Speaker 1: to party and she's done like nearly too years of
Speaker 1: no our cool now she just had like one or
Speaker 1: two here and there, but she said it was just
Speaker 1: life changing. And when you think about all the things
Speaker 1: that you value, this is what makes it's so clear
Speaker 1: and easy. It's like, you know, people like me and you,
Speaker 1: we value our health, our skin, our energy, connection time
Speaker 1: with our family, being good role models for our kids,
Speaker 1: having no brain fog, sleep, all those things that we value.
Speaker 1: Our coohol doesn't fit in with that now, so if
Speaker 1: you are having our cohol regularly, you're dishonoring all those
Speaker 1: things that are really important to you. You have to
Speaker 1: be living up to your values to live your best life.
Speaker 1: It's one thing to say that you value those things,
Speaker 1: but do your actions actually meet it? Are they aligned
Speaker 1: with it?
Speaker 3: It is when something.
Speaker 1: Do you justify I've worked hard today, Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: like it's not affected me that much. It's not that
Speaker 1: it's because I've got my period. It's cause works really heavy,
Speaker 1: and you see all the time. And I don't judge
Speaker 1: anyone when I have these conversations. I'm not one to
Speaker 1: go and like preach to everyone. We're sharing this because
Speaker 1: we've experienced it. We want to help just open your
Speaker 1: eyes up to maybe this is something you want to try.
Speaker 1: But I can see when people are justifying and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you don't know how good you can feel, you know,
Speaker 1: and everyone will get there on their own journey. But
Speaker 1: hopefully today after listening, you're like, oh, maybe I am
Speaker 1: grabbing my sugar hit at three pm in the afternoon.
Speaker 1: Maybe I could try and not do that. And then
Speaker 1: when you see how hard it is, you know you've
Speaker 1: got a problem.
Speaker 3: That's exactly right.
Speaker 1: When I found it really hard to not grab the
Speaker 1: handful of lollies. I was like, this is a problem.
Speaker 1: I would get at nine am and the jar was
Speaker 1: staring at me and I felt like I had no control.
Speaker 1: And people started laughing and making jokes and like remember
Speaker 1: one on the staff it was filmed me and uploaded a TikTok,
Speaker 1: and I was like, wow, this is becoming like a
Speaker 1: joke within the office. I'm like, this is not funny.
Speaker 1: This is not making me feel good. And people joke
Speaker 1: about it with coffee and alcohol to normalize it because
Speaker 1: they want it to be normal for them, but it's
Speaker 1: not actually healthy and not actually serving you. So it's
Speaker 1: just something to really reflect on. And it's such a
Speaker 1: common thing in today's society, especially with men. The alcohol.
Speaker 1: It's how they connect, It's how they let their walls down,
Speaker 1: get rid of their ego and just like have some fun.
Speaker 1: It's how we relax, it's how we distress. It's just
Speaker 1: what most people do. Right, it's normal. But when you
Speaker 1: come out the other side, you're like, wow, I don't
Speaker 1: want that to be my normal. And I know for myself,
Speaker 1: I didn't want my kids seeing that as normal. I
Speaker 1: didn't want them to think, Oh, every time you are stressed,
Speaker 1: you want to have fun, you want to connect, you
Speaker 1: want to DeWind, you want to I don't know whatever
Speaker 1: you describe a drink. Yeah, if that's not how I
Speaker 1: want them thinking life's normal and same with anything.
Speaker 2: There's so many as well, Like even in this book
Speaker 2: dopamin Nation, she talks about simple things like our phone.
Speaker 2: I know a few people that are sold to their phone.
Speaker 2: I can't go literally two minutes about checking it. And
Speaker 2: it doesn't even need to be if you don't relate
Speaker 2: to the alcohol thing, don't relate to the coffee thing,
Speaker 2: don't relate to the caffeine. It's like, how about your phone?
Speaker 3: Yes? And if not your phone.
Speaker 2: There was a guy in the book that was addicted
Speaker 2: to sex, and hearing his story and how his addiction
Speaker 2: completely ended up ruling his life. It's just one of
Speaker 2: those books that I feel like everyone needs to read
Speaker 2: because it's really eye opening. And one other thing too
Speaker 2: that I wanted to touch on. I had so many people
Speaker 2: messaging concerned about withdrawals.
Speaker 3: Oh, so many people like going, you go? How was it? So?
Speaker 2: My number one thing that I would say is if
Speaker 2: you are a heavy coffee drinker. If you are someone
Speaker 2: who was drinking like double shot in the morning and
Speaker 2: double shot at ten o'clock, don't completely go cold turkey.
Speaker 2: Start off doing half shot, do that for like a week,
Speaker 2: and then go down to one coffee. Because I was
Speaker 2: only having half strength anyway, because I knew it made
Speaker 2: me feel shit. So I was like, I was just
Speaker 2: do a half strength, but I had a couple of
Speaker 2: like light headaches, which, just being completely candid, I also
Speaker 2: got botox right near the start of it, and that
Speaker 2: hells of my headaches, you know, the it does hell's
Speaker 2: with my headache. So I was like, it could have
Speaker 2: been potentially a lot worse if I didn't have that.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I would definitely recommend that if you are
Speaker 2: somebody who is having it and a lot of it
Speaker 2: and very regularly, maybe just do a slow approach over
Speaker 2: like the first three weeks and then completely get rid
Speaker 2: of it and start to abstain. Because I knew so
Speaker 2: many people would think like, how can I go with withdrawals,
Speaker 2: Like I'm worried about the headaches, I'm going to cope,
Speaker 2: And that's all so valid, but it's also a reason
Speaker 2: to stop you from taking the action. So yeah, I
Speaker 2: would just slowly decrease, and even the same with wine
Speaker 2: if you're having one Like this is even something that
Speaker 2: I've done previously. I was having a wine at four
Speaker 2: in the afternoon. This is when I was in my
Speaker 2: bad and zone, and I started pushing out, like, hey,
Speaker 2: now I can't have one till six, So like push
Speaker 2: the time out so you can only fit like one
Speaker 2: in and then like do half a glass and then
Speaker 2: do you know, I think that whatever works for you
Speaker 2: to get to that point. But if you're worried about withdrawals,
Speaker 2: then maybe do a little bit of a slow approach.
Speaker 2: Maybe do one month cutting back, yeah, and then one
Speaker 2: month abstaining.
Speaker 1: Really good advice. Yeah, and probably increase your water tenfold
Speaker 1: to help with the headaches.
Speaker 3: A one, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: But you know what, as well, The crazy thing is,
Speaker 2: since I have stopped drinking coffee and I've stopped drinking alcohol,
Speaker 2: I am drinking so much more water because every time
Speaker 2: I went for a drink, it was something unhealthy for me.
Speaker 2: It was a coffee or a wine. So in my morning,
Speaker 2: I've like got a coffee all the time. In my afternoon,
Speaker 2: I've got a wine all the time, so you actually
Speaker 2: end up upping your water intake naturally.
Speaker 1: Anyway, It's so called this role and effect too. It's
Speaker 1: like you cut the alcohol and the caffeine and you
Speaker 1: replaced it with bone broth and tea and more water.
Speaker 1: When you feel better from that, then you want to
Speaker 1: choose healthier food. When you're choosing healthier food, you then
Speaker 1: have more energy and vitality about you, So then you
Speaker 1: have more energy to go to the gym. When you
Speaker 1: go to the gym, you start to feel better, you
Speaker 1: start to feel more confident. Then your cup's getting fulled.
Speaker 1: Then you overflow that to your relationship. You're being an
Speaker 1: example for your kids. It's like this isn't just one thing.
Speaker 1: This is going to positively impact everything in your life.
Speaker 1: It's important to you. Amen.
Speaker 2: Girlfriend, Wow, Amen my energy levels. So I was worried
Speaker 2: as well. How am I going to go without coffee?
Speaker 2: I had this story that I needed this for energy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I feel more energized now and less sleepy like you
Speaker 2: might have even noticed on this trip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, generally I'm cooked. Yeah, I do actually feel like
Speaker 1: you're being way more energetic.
Speaker 2: We didn't have the best sleep last night, no, but
Speaker 2: I don't have the colmdown that I'm putting in my body,
Speaker 2: especially the coffee. I feel like the coffee in all honesty,
Speaker 2: I probably found harder than the alcohol. I had a
Speaker 2: couple of moments as well where I found it really
Speaker 2: really tough, and I thought maybe I would share about that.
Speaker 3: So we went to a event and there was free
Speaker 3: alcohol the whole.
Speaker 2: And we're staying up here, and normally too, when Kurt
Speaker 2: and I go away together, we go out and have
Speaker 2: a drink. We go have some tapis somewhere, have the
Speaker 2: drink together, and it was a huge challenge for both
Speaker 2: of us. Curtie really struggled, which is fair enough. And
Speaker 2: when we went out that night, we kind of just
Speaker 2: said to ourselves, so I'll just get a lemon lion
Speaker 2: bitters to start off with, see how we feel, and
Speaker 2: just like, you know, soda water whatever they had there.
Speaker 2: So we just drank drinks like that. They made us
Speaker 2: feel like we were kind of drinking and it was
Speaker 2: something out of the norm for us. But what I
Speaker 2: would say is in those moments, because as we walked
Speaker 2: through the door, they went to hand me a champagne
Speaker 2: and I told myself in my head I'm just going
Speaker 2: to have a different drink first, and once you have
Speaker 2: that first, you're like, this isn't so bad. Yeah, so
Speaker 2: your first drink, and then the same thing. When I
Speaker 2: went to an engagement party last weekend, I told myself, oh,
Speaker 2: I'll just have just a soft drink first, or a
Speaker 2: can butcher first or whatever it is, have that first.
Speaker 2: And then as soon as you have that first one
Speaker 2: and you're talking and you're chatting and you're socializing, and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, I don't need it.
Speaker 2: I don't need this to feel comfortable. You're going to
Speaker 2: feel a bit nervous when you're first walking in some
Speaker 2: way anyway, whether you have a drink or you don't.
Speaker 2: But I think we go, oh, we have it so
Speaker 2: we can socialize, so when you feel relaxed. But it's
Speaker 2: like you can do that without it. Yeah, you have
Speaker 2: this story, like especially someone who I feel like, I'm
Speaker 2: definitely getting way better at this, but back in the day,
Speaker 2: I had really bad at social anxiety and sometimes in
Speaker 2: my life and I thought in my head it made
Speaker 2: me more likable, I felt more.
Speaker 1: Comfortable, more out there.
Speaker 2: I actually feel more comfortable when I'm not drinking. I
Speaker 2: know I'm not saying anything stupid. I know I'm saying
Speaker 2: things that are aligned with who I am. I know
Speaker 2: I'm showing truly who I am in my core. And
Speaker 2: it's not just the alcohol speaking.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And when you're like that too, you're going to attract
Speaker 1: and connect with people that are more aligned with you.
Speaker 1: Whereas when you're being like not that you're drunk, but
Speaker 1: when you're being silly and tipsy or whatever, you're probably
Speaker 1: attracting people that aren't actually aligned with who you truly are.
Speaker 2: And you remember everything, are left making better connections than
Speaker 2: I previously when I was drinking, because you're not just
Speaker 2: like drinking and talking to your partner. I was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: Mom's going to go walk around the room chat to
Speaker 2: everyone like met Ale these people, these incredible stories. At
Speaker 2: the Operation to Smile event, it was so amazing. Spoke
Speaker 2: to surgeons and this and that, and I was like,
Speaker 2: that's really cool. Rather than me lining up waiting for
Speaker 2: the friggin like the line for the alcohol huge Yeah,
Speaker 2: stand there half the.
Speaker 3: Night each time you run out of drink lining up
Speaker 3: for another one.
Speaker 2: I was there, chatting with people, being present.
Speaker 1: Wow, But you think it's.
Speaker 2: Actually in these moments and being at these events that
Speaker 2: these are the moments when you know you need it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's actually really.
Speaker 1: Beautiful to night have it so frigging co open eyes
Speaker 1: and caffeine apparently stays in your body. I can't remember
Speaker 1: if it's twenty four or thirty six hours. It stays
Speaker 1: in your body quite a long time. So they say,
Speaker 1: don't have caffeine us twelve o'clock, but it's actually longer. Lieout.
Speaker 1: Your body has still got caffeine in it. You're not
Speaker 1: gonna have a good quality sleep. And it's the same
Speaker 1: with sugar. If like you have dessert, you are literally
Speaker 1: putting that body into your body, your insulin spikes. You
Speaker 1: were putting your body to work because it has to
Speaker 1: now work to digest and put that energy somewhere and
Speaker 1: do something with that energy. So if you have a
Speaker 1: shitty nights sleep and you had dessert before you went
Speaker 1: to bed, no wonder.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And same with alcohol. It's full of calories and sugars
Speaker 1: and whatever, bed whatever else. It's not going to give
Speaker 1: you a quality sleep.
Speaker 2: Even in my Periods episode when we spoke about HRV levels,
Speaker 2: which it measures your nervous system, something that Kurt and
Speaker 2: I have realized is if we eat dinner too late,
Speaker 2: it's spikes as well.
Speaker 3: It's not good.
Speaker 2: And also we went through a phase of having dessert
Speaker 2: before bed, having these little cookies and yeah, spiked it
Speaker 2: as what It's like, why are we doing this when
Speaker 2: we wanted to have a well, restless sleep and wanting
Speaker 2: all the other things. You should at least have like
Speaker 2: three hours before.
Speaker 3: Going to bed that you eat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then same as having a sweet treat, it
Speaker 2: hugely impacts your sleep. Yeah, and seeing that firsthand and
Speaker 2: actually seeing how it affects it, it's like, why would
Speaker 2: I do that to myself? That, yeah, help yourself out,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I would give yourself. How you said the
Speaker 2: twenty four hours or thirty six hours a caffeine, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think alcohol's around five days. But all of it,
Speaker 2: I reckon. It took two three weeks and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I feel incredible. Before that, I was
Speaker 2: like not really noticing the difference. So don't let that
Speaker 2: be your thing that makes you go, oh, I'm not
Speaker 2: really feeling a change. I'm going to go back and
Speaker 2: start doing it again. You need minimum thirty days.
Speaker 1: That minimum, that's just like it's so cool that you
Speaker 1: haven't straight away gone back to it, because it's how
Speaker 1: you feel after thirty, Imagine after sixty, imagine after ninety. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like it's only going to get better and better. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then you really will not be repulsed by it,
Speaker 1: but you almost be like like, no, why would I
Speaker 1: want to.
Speaker 3: That's it was said to Ashley.
Speaker 2: You know, I think the difference will be it'll just
Speaker 2: be like random times. It won't be a regular thing.
Speaker 2: And when I have it, I'll sip on one glass
Speaker 2: of wine. It won't be like I'm going to drink
Speaker 2: a bottle.
Speaker 1: And it's also evaluating, like say, if you incur up
Speaker 1: here and you had a night up here and have
Speaker 1: to attend to the kids next day, you probably have the
Speaker 1: space to have a sleep in, take it slow. But
Speaker 1: if you've got to look after three children, it's like,
Speaker 1: oh is it worth it? Because you know you won't
Speaker 1: be you might be a bit more snappy, a bit
Speaker 1: more tired, you won't have the energy to run around
Speaker 1: after them. So it's just evaluating each situation. It's not
Speaker 1: that you're never gonna have coffee or never have a drink,
Speaker 1: like you'll just learn where you've got the capacity to
Speaker 1: have it, where it's worth it. How much you can
Speaker 1: have as well, like two might be too much, but
Speaker 1: one might be perfect, or the courtin might be force's limit.
Speaker 1: Like Steve, he knows after three he's not going to
Speaker 1: feel great, yes, but he can handle two or three
Speaker 1: and feel pretty good the next day.
Speaker 2: And that's what it says in the book, So the
Speaker 2: very end of it. So she has an acronym for
Speaker 2: each one, dopamine. So the last one is experiment. So
Speaker 2: at the end of your thirty days, test yourself. Yeah,
Speaker 2: try having one, see how you feel, and if you
Speaker 2: start to go back into your old ways, abstain again
Speaker 2: for thirty days perfair. So she's got all these little
Speaker 2: steps along the way, which is really cool.
Speaker 1: Oh, I need to read this book.
Speaker 2: And coffee, Yeah, I don't think I'll ever have it again. Really,
Speaker 2: isn't that wildt nuh Yeah, So I was pretting to Actually,
Speaker 2: I think the other day somebody accidentally gave me a coffee.
Speaker 2: They did I know it was an actual coffee. I
Speaker 2: felt like I was pinging.
Speaker 1: Oh, what is going on? And not even one shot
Speaker 1: though you reckon it felt like.
Speaker 2: Because I got a medium, so that would be two shots.
Speaker 1: Oh, I felt awful.
Speaker 2: I had to go on a massive brisk walk. I
Speaker 2: had to go to the gym try to move the energy.
Speaker 2: I felt awful, and also that it was still in
Speaker 2: my system a little bit.
Speaker 3: Now we speak about the timing.
Speaker 2: There is not one part of me that is interested
Speaker 2: to feel that way again. I know how to affect
Speaker 2: my body, and I think to it highlights it when
Speaker 2: you have a break and you then have that caffeine
Speaker 2: You're like, why.
Speaker 3: The fuck did I do that?
Speaker 1: For some Yeah awful. I love what you said on
Speaker 1: your stories the other day. It was like I love
Speaker 1: myself too much to put myself through that. And it's like,
Speaker 1: when you truly love and respect your body, you want
Speaker 1: to treat it with love and respect. You think about
Speaker 1: the way that Like now we get so parent on
Speaker 1: you're like when our kids it's so healthy and organic,
Speaker 1: and like do I have too much sugar or whatever?
Speaker 1: You just want the healthiest body, Like you should want
Speaker 1: that for yourself. Like you cannot be the best parent
Speaker 1: and the best person and the best at your job
Speaker 1: or achieve your goals if you're not putting your health
Speaker 1: as a priority. It is our home. Your body is
Speaker 1: your home. It's the only thing we really have. Over
Speaker 1: the years, you think the span of five, ten, fifteen,
Speaker 1: twenty years, the good habits that adds up, that makes
Speaker 1: huge impact. You might not think like one piece of
Speaker 1: white bread every day makes a difference, but over a
Speaker 1: span of five ten years, if you would swap that
Speaker 1: for a healthier option, that has huge impact. So just
Speaker 1: checking in seeing how things are feeling. Getting honest with
Speaker 1: yourself too, because I know a lot of people like, oh, no, cope,
Speaker 1: it doesn't affect me. My body handles it so well,
Speaker 1: or oh it's only one Yeah, I know that you
Speaker 1: handle it so well, exactly exactly, And so many people
Speaker 1: what have you normalized?
Speaker 3: That's it? So many people.
Speaker 2: Want a well regulated nervousism. They don't want to be
Speaker 2: snappy out their kids. They don't want to be this,
Speaker 2: they don't want to be that. It's like, start with you, yes,
Speaker 2: start with you. Take a look the mirror behind choices. Caffeine.
Speaker 2: I tell you it will change your life.
Speaker 1: Caffeine, sugar and our cohoal Yeah so bad?
Speaker 3: Yeah balance, uh huh.
Speaker 1: Wow. What an awesome episode. There's going to be so
Speaker 1: many takeaways from that, and like I said, everything that
Speaker 1: we talk about is to help you grow and glow.
Speaker 1: Like it's helped you grow and learn more about yourself
Speaker 1: and to come out the other side glowing. But we
Speaker 1: have to go through these different situations and experiences and
Speaker 1: read more and learn more and experience more to come
Speaker 1: out the other side. That's a part of the journey.
Speaker 1: That is PS. Your life is always moving in the
Speaker 1: direction of your strongest thoughts. I love that. Very relevant,
Speaker 1: very relevant, because your strongest thoughts right now are to
Speaker 1: remove addiction, to be healthy, to be aligned, and that's
Speaker 1: where your life is going now, because that's where your
Speaker 1: strongest thoughts are. That's on the forefront of your mind. Yeah,
Speaker 1: same girlfriend.
Speaker 3: PS.
Speaker 2: The extra hour of sleep, those healthy meals, that gym
Speaker 2: session you didn't skip, that walk you went on are
Speaker 2: all investments in your future self. And the more of
Speaker 2: those since you make, the more your future self will thrive.
Speaker 2: My advice invest as often as you can.
Speaker 1: Love it, love it, love it, love it. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us. Guys. We mentioned a few
Speaker 1: episodes ago, but we can actually see how many of
Speaker 1: you have subscribed. We can, and we were at score
Speaker 1: seventy three we were now at seventy eight, so yay.
Speaker 3: Thank you guys, but we're still not quite a lady.
Speaker 1: We still want to get to eighty. So if you
Speaker 1: guys listen to us weekly, just click that follow or
Speaker 1: subscribe button. It really does support our podcast and we'd
Speaker 1: love to get that score over eighty and it just
Speaker 1: helps you guys not miss any of our episodes. So
Speaker 1: take two seconds.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, We'll see you next week.
Speaker 3: Bye.