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Speaker 1: Apoday Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast.

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Speaker 2: I'm Ashi and I'm Tiana.

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Speaker 1: This podcast is.

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Speaker 2: About female empowerment and encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest,

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Speaker 2: and most authentic version of yourself.

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Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to new level.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

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Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self.

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Speaker 1: Hello, good morning, Welcome back to another episode of She

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Speaker 1: Rises with Tiana and Ashi. Let's talk about.

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Speaker 2: Sex, baby, Let's talk about you and me.

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Speaker 1: You guys love when we talk about this, and we

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Speaker 1: love talking about it sex and only fans and all

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Speaker 1: of it, because what we've found is there's so much

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Speaker 1: curiosity and a lot of submissions, a lot of questions

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Speaker 1: in our dms, and there's a lot of shame around sex. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and we don't want it to be like that. But

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Speaker 1: I had an interesting conversation with my coach the other

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Speaker 1: day when we were talking about it. He's like, there's

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Speaker 1: it's just two ends of the scale, right. There needs

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Speaker 1: to be more conversations around sex being healthy and connecting

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Speaker 1: and pleasurable and how we create life. But on one

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Speaker 1: end of the scale, it's been glorified and people are

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Speaker 1: using it for validation and different things. And then the

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Speaker 1: other end of the scale, there's so much shame around it.

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Speaker 1: It's like, don't talk about it, that's dirty, that's private.

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Speaker 1: The opposites. Yeah, how can we bring this conversation back

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Speaker 1: to be healthy, no shame, bring it back to what

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Speaker 1: it is, And to me, it's connection, pleasure, fun and

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Speaker 1: how we create life. I just don't think that should

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Speaker 1: be a taboo topic. So I think the more that

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Speaker 1: we have these open discussions and open conversations, the more

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Speaker 1: it brings people forward to have those discussions with the

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Speaker 1: people around them, with themselves.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a really challenging thing, isn't it. There's a

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Speaker 2: lot of stigma around the topic of sex, and I

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Speaker 2: find that it's.

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Speaker 1: Just why, Yeah, I don't understand it.

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Speaker 2: It's just it's like become such a shameful thing, I

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Speaker 2: think because I mean, at least from what I can see,

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Speaker 2: is no one talks about it. No one, like for

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Speaker 2: the most part, people don't catch up with their friends

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Speaker 2: and talk about their experiences or get care curious or

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Speaker 2: ask questions. And you know, I think it comes from

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Speaker 2: the way that we're taught when we're younger, Like we're

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Speaker 2: not really educated on pleasure and connection and being taught

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Speaker 2: in a way where it is so connecting. It's not

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Speaker 2: it's the conversation that you don't touch. It's the conversation

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Speaker 2: that you don't want to bring up, the awkward, too

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Speaker 2: awkward conversation to have with your son or your daughter.

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Speaker 2: Like that's how most people not having that conversation conversation.

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Speaker 1: And it really highlighted for me, which I spoke about

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Speaker 1: in a previous episode, when we had some staff members

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Speaker 1: that were really uncomfortable with us launching Loube. Yeah, in

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Speaker 1: my mind, I was just so taken back because I

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Speaker 1: was like, but what do you mean, Like, doesn't everyone

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Speaker 1: use it? Are you raw dogging it the whole time?

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Speaker 1: This is something that we all do. It's all pleasurable

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Speaker 1: and like you were made from your parents having sex,

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Speaker 1: you probably have sex. It shouldn't be a topic that's

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Speaker 1: so uncomfortable, but it really is for a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: And it really just reminded me that there is so

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Speaker 1: much sexual shame and it is still very uncomfortable. But

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Speaker 1: I suppose on the podcast and my friendship group and

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Speaker 1: my husband and people if my mum, like, it's just

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Speaker 1: such an open book. Yeah, it is what it is.

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Speaker 1: It's sex, it's fun. Let's talk about different experience. What

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Speaker 1: do you like? What do I like? Like, it's just fun. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I want that to be more normalized. I hope

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Speaker 1: my kids grow up with zero shame around sex. It

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Speaker 1: is an experience that we all get to have and

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Speaker 1: have fun with it, and you can still obviously have

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Speaker 1: your boundaries, and I understand there's obviously people that have

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Speaker 1: been through different sexual experiences that have really tainted that

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Speaker 1: for them. And you know, that's another whole conversation. It's

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Speaker 1: just as a generalized topic, yeah, around the sigma around it.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I just think it's important and maybe it

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Speaker 1: needs to start more in school. It's like, do we

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Speaker 1: bring those healthy conversations to school kids? Why does it

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Speaker 1: have to be so uncomfortable and so naughty and so like, Ah,

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Speaker 1: we're only going to talk about it briefly for five minutes.

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Speaker 1: In p on how to put a condo, mom, there

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Speaker 1: was nothing about pleasure, about boundaries, about respecting your body,

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Speaker 1: about exploration and yeah, consent, like even the Yoni massage.

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Speaker 1: I emailed her the other day too, and might I

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Speaker 1: need to book in. Yeah, but she was saying, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, she has young girls that come in their

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Speaker 1: mum's book, their teenage girls, and so they can learn

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Speaker 1: all about the revolver wow, and where their pleasure spots

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Speaker 1: are and what feels good for them what doesn't feel good.

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Speaker 1: Because if they don't understand their own body and they

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Speaker 1: can't communicate that, how is their partners ever meant to

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Speaker 1: know either? That makes so much sense, so much power

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Speaker 1: in knowing your own body and knowing what feels good

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Speaker 1: and knowing what doesn't and knowing what where the edges

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Speaker 1: are where you want to be pushed and where you

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Speaker 1: don't want to be pushed.

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Speaker 2: You know, what's really interesting about this is we only

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Speaker 2: teach what we know. So when we think about all

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Speaker 2: of the lack of conversations that have been had around sex,

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Speaker 2: just goes to show how much shame and lack of

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Speaker 2: education that our parents were given and their parents beyond them,

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Speaker 2: and how stigmatized it was even for their generations too.

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Speaker 2: So I think that's a really interesting conversation of you know,

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Speaker 2: it's obviously not bad that we have learnt the way

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Speaker 2: that we have, or there's so much shame and judgment

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Speaker 2: and stigma around sex and especially shame. But it doesn't

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Speaker 2: have to be the way that we continue on moving forward,

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Speaker 2: you know. And I think the biggest thing that kind

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Speaker 2: of helped me explore this part of myself, my more

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Speaker 2: sexual side of my sexual expression, is having gone through

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Speaker 2: the sex tape because I had to go through and

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Speaker 2: experience so much shame for being a sexually expressed woman

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Speaker 2: at seventeen at the time, like that was the most

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Speaker 2: terrible thing that I could have ever done in the world.

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Speaker 2: You know, I got so you know, shamed for it,

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Speaker 2: ridiculed and judge and all those things, as if everyone

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Speaker 2: is not doing it themselves exactly and not making intimate

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Speaker 2: videos with their partners.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: And so the thing with that, though, when you are

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Speaker 2: able to free yourself from the sexual shame, not only

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Speaker 2: do you connect with yourself more, you connect with your

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Speaker 2: partner more, and you get to love on yourself more.

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Speaker 2: You unlock new levels of confidence, pleasure, new levels of

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Speaker 2: being able to say no because you feel strong in yourself,

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Speaker 2: new levels of pleasure, and so much more, especially in

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Speaker 2: a relationship of intimacy. That's what intimacy is is like

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Speaker 2: connecting through being together, being one exploring pleasure together.

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Speaker 1: We have to be really careful too, because the language

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Speaker 1: we use around it to our children, that's going to

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Speaker 1: impact them.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So if I am to shame conversations around sex, if

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Speaker 1: I shame anything around sex, and then my son and

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Speaker 1: my daughter takes that on, do you think they're ever

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Speaker 1: going to feel safe to be curious and to explore

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Speaker 1: their sexuality. No, they're going to shut it down. They're

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Speaker 1: going to stay in this box of what I've told

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Speaker 1: them is the right way to be or the good

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Speaker 1: way to be, or the right way for the world

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Speaker 1: to see them. And they're never going to want to

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Speaker 1: step outside those edges because then I won't be loved

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Speaker 1: and accepted by mums. If mom doesn't love and accept

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Speaker 1: me for exploring that, then no one else will. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: of course, So you're always going to shut yourself off

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Speaker 1: to new experiences, new partners, new pleasure, new fun. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's wild to me.

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Speaker 2: It is wild.

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Speaker 1: But it's so easy for parents and society and like

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Speaker 1: your peers to tell you something's dirty or bad or slutty,

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Speaker 1: and for you to like hold on to that. But

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Speaker 1: I don't think any of it is. And it's like

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Speaker 1: you know, only fans for example, it's not something I

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Speaker 1: will ever do. Want to have sex on camera, don't

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Speaker 1: really want people watching me have sex. Yeah, that's my

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Speaker 1: own thing rather than just be Steve and I. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but if someone else wants to do that, you do

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Speaker 1: your book if you like that, that's none of my business. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know your body or your background or what

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Speaker 1: you enjoy. If you feel free doing that, or you

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Speaker 1: enjoy doing that and that's what you choose to earn

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Speaker 1: your money, cool, it's none of my business. Yeah, who

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Speaker 1: am I to tell you what's right for your body? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's insanity to me, or like how to live their life.

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Speaker 1: When someone judges someone for doing that, I'm like, who

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Speaker 1: are you to tell them that's right or wrong? But

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Speaker 1: there's plenty of things you do in your life that

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Speaker 1: they would never do. Absolutely it doesn't align with them.

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Speaker 1: We're different humans. Yeah, we have different values and we

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Speaker 1: make different choices. Why can't we just accept and let

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Speaker 1: them do their thing?

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Speaker 2: And this is the interesting thing, Like everyone around sex

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Speaker 2: has a completely different perspective. Yeah, they have different limits,

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Speaker 2: different levels of exploration, different levels of shame obviously based

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Speaker 2: on personal experiences and you know, whatever they might have

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Speaker 2: gone through, or maybe they might be completely open and

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Speaker 2: they're just like free reign and free world and that

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Speaker 2: feels comfortable for them based on what they know. So

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Speaker 2: that's where I find people get challenged with connecting with

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Speaker 2: other people over it, Yeah, because it's like where does

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Speaker 2: this person lie? What limits does this person have? And

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Speaker 2: is what I'm doing okay? And vice versa. So it's

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Speaker 2: like this unspoken conversation. But at least what I've learned

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Speaker 2: in like my friendships and even especially now the ones

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Speaker 2: that I do feel more open with, you just able

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Speaker 2: to just connect over something that is so natural and

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Speaker 2: so human, so true, because it's like, yeah, we all

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Speaker 2: go to the toilet, we all sleep, peas and shits

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Speaker 2: and all the things, you know what I mean, Like,

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Speaker 2: why is that such a stigmatized thing when it's something

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Speaker 2: that literally every single person is doing and enjoys and

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Speaker 2: enjoys and loves. It's a huge part of the human experience,

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Speaker 2: it really is. And so when you can start opening

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Speaker 2: up those conversations obviously in a safe place, if you're

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Speaker 2: comfortable with the course, you'll start to notice that, Like,

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Speaker 2: you can have open conversations without that immense feeling of

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Speaker 2: like shame or guilt or whatever, and you can just

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Speaker 2: explore the curiosity, even if it's just in conversations.

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Speaker 1: Definitely, I think some people listening might be like, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, we're not like you. We don't want to

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Speaker 1: talk about our sex life upon of thousands of people. Cool,

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Speaker 1: you don't have to do. What I'm more encouraging is

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Speaker 1: if a sex conversation comes up with your partner or

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Speaker 1: your girlfriends, just notice your body response. Because a lot

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Speaker 1: of people's body responses like, yeah, oh my god, what's

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Speaker 1: talking about that? She just so she did that? Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I would never do that. Yeah, So judgments

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Speaker 1: and projections start coming out. That's where your sexual shame is.

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Speaker 1: That's where you can look at. That's where you can

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Speaker 1: see why it might be blocking you from other experiences

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Speaker 1: or just being able to fully truly express your authentic self.

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Speaker 1: And it doesn't just show up in the bedroom. It

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Speaker 1: shows up in lots of areas of your life. It

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Speaker 1: really does. When I was growing up in my early teens,

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Speaker 1: I had some quote unquote selettier friends that like to

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Speaker 1: explore and sleep around and give blow jobs at parties

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Speaker 1: and all the things. And I saw how much they

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Speaker 1: got shamed and ridiculed. They were the sluts, they were

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Speaker 1: the dirty ones. They were just like hate it on.

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Speaker 1: So I witnessed that and I was like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be a slut. So I just like

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Speaker 1: didn't sleep around growing up. I've only been with like

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Speaker 1: partners that I've been in a relationship with, and that's

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Speaker 1: fine and all good or whatever. But then I look

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Speaker 1: at my friends that have slipt around, and I don't

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Speaker 1: think that's slutty. I'm like, good on you. You're trying

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Speaker 1: different people, you're connecting, or maybe it's just fun for you.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's like their personal experience and any of

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Speaker 2: the way that feels concruent to live with them. There's

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Speaker 2: nothing wrong.

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Speaker 1: No, there's nothing wrong with it. And I'm like, good

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Speaker 1: on you. That's really cool, And I'm glad I've been

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Speaker 1: able to connect with other women that are so free

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Speaker 1: in their sexual energy and their sexual expression, because then

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Speaker 1: it's just really changed my perspective. And I've seen how

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Speaker 1: much I've shamed myself over the years, and because I

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Speaker 1: was shamed with myself, I shamed everyone else doing it

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Speaker 1: as well. Wasn't until I met different people that were

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Speaker 1: so open with it and like free flowing and explained

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Speaker 1: it differently. I was like, Wow, sex can just be sex, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: just pleasurable, enjoyable, a natural thing that we all get

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Speaker 1: to do, you know. And then it just looks different

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Speaker 1: for everyone is bad or wrong. It just like is

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Speaker 1: their experience and that's beautiful for them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: We've been having conversations recently Japan about you being single. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I said to her one day, I was like, would

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Speaker 1: you ever consider having a Fuckbudy? I mean, I've been

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Speaker 1: in a relationship for seventeen years. I have no idea

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Speaker 1: how usess work. I won't even know how to flirt anymore,

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Speaker 1: to be honest, But in my head, I'm like, if

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Speaker 1: you're single and you're not in a relationship or looking

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Speaker 1: for a relationship, that probably would be something I think

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Speaker 1: I would explore because it's like, you still have desires.

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Speaker 1: Just yeah, just think what isn't mean you're dead, Like

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Speaker 1: you still have desired you enjoy sex? Yeah, And you

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Speaker 1: were instant like, oh no, no, that's not what I

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Speaker 1: would do, And I was, oh.

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Speaker 2: Explain, like, tell me more about it. Yeah, and it's

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Speaker 2: so interesting. I was having this other conversation with another

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Speaker 2: girl friend of mine as well, and she's quite open

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Speaker 2: and she's very sexually expressed and so just free. And

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Speaker 2: I really admire her for it because she just is

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Speaker 2: who she is and she fucking owns it and she

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Speaker 2: doesn't shame myself for it, and she just.

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Speaker 1: Look casual and she tells you, oh casual, she's Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, I love her for it. Yeah, it's so

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Speaker 1: inspiring actually, like she's just literally like, yeah, it's lot

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Speaker 1: with her. Yeah I did that. It was beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was amazing and it's so connecting.

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Speaker 1: What did you have for dinner? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And like do you want to get for a walk?

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Speaker 1: You know? And I just it was a really cool

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Speaker 1: conversation to have, like you have almost rules on what

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Speaker 1: you're allowed to do. It's because I think we're now

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Speaker 1: discussing the rules and how you want to be and

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Speaker 1: what feels good for you, but then also your values. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and when your body feels safe, I'll let you elaborate more.

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Speaker 1: But it's such a cool conversation because I can really

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Speaker 1: see both sides of it now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So it was a really interesting conversation to have

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Speaker 2: because I really notice these rules and things that I

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Speaker 2: have on myself and just from conditioning as well of like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 2: I'm allowed to do this. I'm not allowed to do this.

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Speaker 2: I shouldn't want that, you know. And now I'm in

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Speaker 2: just like a beautiful place now that i'm single as well,

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Speaker 2: where I'm like, okay, would I want to explore having

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Speaker 2: somebody that I get to spend time with and be

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Speaker 2: intimate with and all those things. But then when we

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Speaker 2: had a conversation about it and you were like, do

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Speaker 2: you want to fuck buddy, I was like, to be honest,

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Speaker 2: I don't really like for me personally, I need to

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Speaker 2: connect with somebody. I need the emotional connection, I need

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Speaker 2: the intellectual stimulation. I need all of those things. And

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Speaker 2: I've had a one night stand once in my life.

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Speaker 2: I was probably fresh eighteen, and I never did it again.

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Speaker 2: It just didn't feel good for me, you know. But

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Speaker 2: no judgment to anybody who does it. If that feels

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Speaker 2: good for you, and that's how you get pleasure, fucking

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Speaker 2: go feel life. I love that all you. But for me,

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Speaker 2: and even now in this season in my life, I'm like, ooh,

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Speaker 2: is that something that I would want to explore.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's cool. I just asked you that question

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Speaker 1: the other day too. I was like, you said, you know,

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Speaker 1: when I was younger, it had that experience, and SAI,

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Speaker 1: when you're younger, it was a hard no after that, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: does it look different now as a twenty seven year

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Speaker 1: old woman. I think you'd come to the conclusion that

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Speaker 1: it doesn't because you still re quiet that connection.

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Speaker 2: I feel like it still is the same for me, because,

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Speaker 2: like what you were talking about with the value side

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Speaker 2: of things, it's like, well, for me, I value connection,

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Speaker 2: and I value intimacy, and I value being with one person.

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Speaker 2: So for me, I'm like, well, I wouldn't feel good

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Speaker 2: wanting to go bounce, like you know, from a different

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Speaker 2: personal have a fuck buddy or something like that. But

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Speaker 2: again not saying that it's wrong, I just forgot it

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Speaker 2: just for you. Yeah, get emotionally attached, and that's what

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Speaker 2: you're talking about, Like you're like, Okay, what do you

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Speaker 2: do this? Yeah, what if one person starts like in

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Speaker 2: the other and the other doesn't, Yeah, to cut that

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Speaker 2: off and yeah, hurt their feelings and then they're in

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Speaker 2: love with you or you're in love with them, and

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Speaker 2: you both can't have what you want. And then so

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Speaker 2: that fun sex isn't so fun any no, because someone's

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Speaker 2: got an emotionally hurt now their emotions involves here. And

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Speaker 2: then I was talking to my other girlfriend about it

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Speaker 2: and she's like, yeah, you just like, you know, separate

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Speaker 2: your emotion from it, be really clear about what you

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Speaker 2: want in the beginning, and then that way, like you know,

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Speaker 2: you know that you're not going to be in a

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Speaker 2: relationship with him. And I'm like, but how do you

335
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Speaker 2: not fall for them?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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00:14:16,801 --> 00:14:19,601
Speaker 1: Because for you sex is love and connections. Yeah, I

338
00:14:19,681 --> 00:14:20,401
Speaker 1: start to grow.

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00:14:20,321 --> 00:14:22,521
Speaker 2: And then also connection. But she's like, yeah, but you

340
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:24,841
Speaker 2: don't see them for anything else. And I'm like how

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Speaker 2: do you do that? And I don't understand how you

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Speaker 2: do that because I've never had a one night stand.

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Speaker 2: But when I'm kissing Steve and making love with him,

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Speaker 2: that's love. So when you're doing that with a stranger

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Speaker 2: or someone you don't really know, do you still kiss

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Speaker 2: the same as still really intimate and you're into each

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Speaker 2: other and then like see, yeah, off you go about

348
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Speaker 2: your day. Yeah that feels foreign to me or or

349
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Speaker 2: is it like less intimate and then more yeah, just

350
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Speaker 2: a fuck yeah, not love making. He's a different energy.

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Speaker 2: I don't think you could love. Can you love make

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Speaker 2: with somebody?

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Speaker 1: Who needed to ask her? I need to call her, honestly,

354
00:14:54,601 --> 00:14:56,961
Speaker 1: dullah love? Oh my god? Would she? I don't know.

355
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Speaker 1: Let's try it. That's so cool.

356
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Speaker 2: Hi, we've got you live on the air, babe.

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Speaker 1: Like I did not expect this to much the morning.

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Speaker 1: So good.

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Speaker 2: Okay, we want to ask you a question. Yes, So

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Speaker 2: we wanted to know if you think it's possible to

361
00:15:16,521 --> 00:15:19,201
Speaker 2: not be let's say, one night stand or something like that.

362
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Speaker 2: Do you think it's possible to love make or have

363
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Speaker 2: like true intimacy with somebody that you're not emotionally connected with. Yeah,

364
00:15:27,161 --> 00:15:28,801
Speaker 2: I definitely think it's possible.

365
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Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure. I feel like when you're with somebody,

366
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Speaker 4: if you still have like a connection in a lustful,

367
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Speaker 4: sensual way, like I still feel like it can be,

368
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Speaker 4: you know, just as connected as if it were with

369
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Speaker 4: your partner that you.

370
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Speaker 3: Are in love with, you know, you feel safe.

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Speaker 2: And I definitely think it's possible.

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Speaker 1: Because I feel like when I'm making love with Steve

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Speaker 1: and we're looking at each other's eyes and like we're

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Speaker 1: holding each other and there's just so much love pouring

375
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Speaker 1: out energetically and physically and spiritually. It's just this depth

376
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Speaker 1: of connection. Like I can't imagine being with someone that

377
00:16:02,201 --> 00:16:04,121
Speaker 1: I don't know and still looking at like do you

378
00:16:04,121 --> 00:16:06,001
Speaker 1: still look in the eye? Do you still kissed them pasionately?

379
00:16:06,001 --> 00:16:08,441
Speaker 1: And then you're okay, so yeah, thanks for a great time,

380
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Speaker 1: Like how does that work? Yeah, I don't know.

381
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Speaker 3: I think you have to be fully like comfortable and

382
00:16:16,121 --> 00:16:19,081
Speaker 3: vulnerable in that space still, you know, like, obviously it's

383
00:16:19,161 --> 00:16:21,401
Speaker 3: not the same as if it were your husbands that

384
00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:23,521
Speaker 3: you have children with, Like it's never going to be

385
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,281
Speaker 3: that same exact feeling.

386
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Speaker 4: But I still think you can get that level of

387
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Speaker 4: connection with somebody if yeah, if you both have an

388
00:16:33,321 --> 00:16:36,601
Speaker 4: understanding and respect for each other and you know, are

389
00:16:36,641 --> 00:16:40,241
Speaker 4: friends with benefits situation where you are actual friends but

390
00:16:40,721 --> 00:16:45,241
Speaker 4: you both know that it's not going to be like

391
00:16:45,321 --> 00:16:47,961
Speaker 4: a relationship, but you can still enjoy each other's company.

392
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Speaker 4: And I don't know from personal experience, I've had a

393
00:16:51,281 --> 00:16:54,281
Speaker 4: friends with benefits situation and the sex was incredible and

394
00:16:54,361 --> 00:16:57,801
Speaker 4: passionate and it was amazing, and I did feel connected

395
00:16:58,161 --> 00:17:01,281
Speaker 4: on a deeper level and it was nice because, like

396
00:17:01,801 --> 00:17:04,041
Speaker 4: you know, after we were done, we just hang out, have.

397
00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:05,721
Speaker 3: A cuddle, and then I go home. And I didn't

398
00:17:05,721 --> 00:17:09,400
Speaker 3: feel like I needed to overthink anything or overanalyze anything

399
00:17:09,481 --> 00:17:11,841
Speaker 3: or question how he felt about me and all these

400
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,600
Speaker 3: things great. I had an amazing that of sex and

401
00:17:14,681 --> 00:17:15,961
Speaker 3: now I can go home and chill out.

402
00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:18,880
Speaker 1: You know. I love that. And then there's like there's

403
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:22,401
Speaker 1: also no strings attached to you both know where you're at.

404
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,961
Speaker 1: You're just enjoying each other's body and you're You're like,

405
00:17:25,001 --> 00:17:26,801
Speaker 1: you're a woman that love sex, so you get to

406
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Speaker 1: enjoy that.

407
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, And do you think it? Do you think that

408
00:17:29,761 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 2: you can like do it? You hear that, ladies, So

409
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,640
Speaker 2: do you think that it's possible to be able to

410
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:39,321
Speaker 2: have that same level of like intimacy and connection and

411
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:42,561
Speaker 2: like more passion even if you aren't spending like super

412
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,200
Speaker 2: quality time with that person? You know, because obviously, like

413
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Speaker 2: would you have to have boundaries around that? Do you

414
00:17:47,481 --> 00:17:48,521
Speaker 2: have to do you know what I mean? Like do

415
00:17:48,561 --> 00:17:49,960
Speaker 2: you spend time with them or is it just like

416
00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:51,080
Speaker 2: an in and out kind of thing.

417
00:17:51,921 --> 00:17:55,921
Speaker 4: I Mean, I can't speak for everyone, but I've had

418
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:58,360
Speaker 4: probably two situations where it has been a friend of

419
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Speaker 4: benefits thing where we know that there's no future and

420
00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:02,721
Speaker 4: like there's just an understanding of that, but we still

421
00:18:03,041 --> 00:18:05,600
Speaker 4: enjoyed each other's company and listen to music, had a

422
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,680
Speaker 4: good time, had great sex. Like I never felt like

423
00:18:08,761 --> 00:18:12,281
Speaker 4: either of us were annoying each other. We're just friends

424
00:18:12,481 --> 00:18:17,640
Speaker 4: and still had deep conversations at certain times, but then.

425
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Speaker 3: It was like, you know, good morning, kay, and I

426
00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 3: was like, oh, I'm.

427
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Speaker 1: Just going to get on with my day. Thank you

428
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:22,960
Speaker 1: for a great time, you know.

429
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Speaker 3: But it was just like it both like understanding and

430
00:18:27,721 --> 00:18:29,400
Speaker 3: respect that we both had for each other, and we

431
00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 3: still enjoyed each other's company and it was passionate and

432
00:18:32,041 --> 00:18:34,680
Speaker 3: it was it still meant something, you know. It's just

433
00:18:34,801 --> 00:18:37,120
Speaker 3: I wasn't the type of like I still am a

434
00:18:37,201 --> 00:18:39,640
Speaker 3: human being. Were all sexual beings, we'll want to have sex.

435
00:18:39,681 --> 00:18:41,961
Speaker 3: I mean, I having sex, but I don't want to

436
00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:44,801
Speaker 3: sleep with you know, a thousand people when I and

437
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,160
Speaker 3: that's just hurt me personally. Like even if you are

438
00:18:47,281 --> 00:18:50,480
Speaker 3: doing that, love that as well, full support, but you know,

439
00:18:50,561 --> 00:18:52,680
Speaker 3: I was like, I still want to be able to

440
00:18:52,721 --> 00:18:56,200
Speaker 3: have passionate sex with somebody that is you know that

441
00:18:56,241 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 3: I'm comfortable with respects me and I respect them. Yeah,

442
00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:02,080
Speaker 3: you know, I didn't want a relationship at the time

443
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:02,920
Speaker 3: with that person.

444
00:19:03,921 --> 00:19:06,880
Speaker 2: Oh I love that. Yeah, thank you so much, babe.

445
00:19:06,921 --> 00:19:07,281
Speaker 1: Thank you.

446
00:19:07,961 --> 00:19:08,961
Speaker 2: We appreciate you.

447
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:09,801
Speaker 1: We'd love you.

448
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,761
Speaker 2: I'll talk to you later, okay, right, we'll do We'll be

449
00:19:14,801 --> 00:19:20,321
Speaker 2: calling you for more questions. Love me, babe, Bye bye.

450
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,241
Speaker 2: It's a hard thing to know when you haven't had

451
00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:26,240
Speaker 2: a lot of one night stands, you know, whether you

452
00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 2: can have love making with them or is it just

453
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,761
Speaker 2: like disconnected and you're just there for the physical act

454
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:32,841
Speaker 2: and the art of pleasure.

455
00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:33,561
Speaker 3: Yeah.

456
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,041
Speaker 1: So I think if you win in with that intention

457
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,441
Speaker 1: that it's just pleasurable, could be really good.

458
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,640
Speaker 2: I just don't know how you can emotionally detach like that.

459
00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:41,681
Speaker 2: For me, I'm just like I need the emotional connection.

460
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:43,400
Speaker 2: I need to be connected to them. They need to

461
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,561
Speaker 2: make me laugh, We need to have good band to

462
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,640
Speaker 2: have deep conversations, and then that way my body opens.

463
00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,281
Speaker 2: Whereas like, if I don't have that, I'm like, don't

464
00:19:50,321 --> 00:19:50,880
Speaker 2: fucking touch me.

465
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, sure, And it would be hard if

466
00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:56,281
Speaker 1: you caught feelings for them and then they reject you

467
00:19:56,281 --> 00:19:58,201
Speaker 1: and like, oh, we can't do this anymore.

468
00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 2: And then you have to cut it off and then

469
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:02,400
Speaker 2: you lose that yeah abandonment we're in hello yeah.

470
00:20:02,241 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 1: Or vice versa. If they started to fall for you, you'd

471
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 1: be like, you, how to cut this off?

472
00:20:06,281 --> 00:20:06,400
Speaker 3: Now?

473
00:20:06,441 --> 00:20:08,001
Speaker 1: I can't keep bleeding you on because I don't want

474
00:20:08,001 --> 00:20:10,321
Speaker 1: anything further. Rat, I just wanted to have fun with you.

475
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,881
Speaker 2: But the thing that I wonder about is if you're

476
00:20:12,921 --> 00:20:15,641
Speaker 2: not actively spending time with them and having the deep

477
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,801
Speaker 2: conversations with them, but you're only in it for the

478
00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:21,281
Speaker 2: physical art of the act, then would you not build

479
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:23,801
Speaker 2: emotion for them? Would you not catch feelings for them?

480
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,401
Speaker 1: I think you could care about them, but I don't

481
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,721
Speaker 1: think you'd always fall in love with them. Yeah. So

482
00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,400
Speaker 1: I think some people are just you could be physically

483
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,281
Speaker 1: attracted to but not want to pursue a relationship and

484
00:20:32,281 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 1: get married to them. Yeah.

485
00:20:33,761 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 2: I don't know, like find them attractive, you think that

486
00:20:35,921 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 2: they're a great person, you're sexually there's chemistry.

487
00:20:39,201 --> 00:20:43,640
Speaker 1: I think you definitely could just enjoy the act of

488
00:20:43,681 --> 00:20:46,480
Speaker 1: sex with someone without falling for them, because it's different.

489
00:20:46,561 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 1: But friendships, you meet so many friends and you love

490
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,321
Speaker 1: them for who they are, and they've got different attributes

491
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 1: and you have different fun with different people for different reasons.

492
00:20:52,521 --> 00:20:53,161
Speaker 2: It's a good point.

493
00:20:53,321 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 1: You don't meet to go and think, oh, I have

494
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 1: to marry him. You just enjoy different things about him,

495
00:20:57,241 --> 00:20:58,241
Speaker 1: Like you just enjoy his cock.

496
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 2: Sorry, we were just having this conversation the other day.

497
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,881
Speaker 2: I love said cock and not dick.

498
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,161
Speaker 1: Like. I've had a girlfriend who is with this guy,

499
00:21:08,281 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 1: and she knew she was never going to marry him,

500
00:21:10,441 --> 00:21:12,241
Speaker 1: but she just could not get away from him because

501
00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:13,121
Speaker 1: the sex was so good.

502
00:21:13,201 --> 00:21:13,441
Speaker 3: Wow.

503
00:21:13,521 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 1: Their sexual chemistry was just like magnetic. They could not

504
00:21:16,961 --> 00:21:19,081
Speaker 1: get enough of each other. But she was like, oh

505
00:21:19,201 --> 00:21:20,920
Speaker 1: everything else about him, like I would never want him

506
00:21:20,921 --> 00:21:22,761
Speaker 1: to be the father of my children. Yeah, I don't

507
00:21:22,761 --> 00:21:24,280
Speaker 1: want a life with him, Like I don't even want

508
00:21:24,281 --> 00:21:26,481
Speaker 1: a relationship with him. I'm almost like embarrassed to say

509
00:21:26,481 --> 00:21:28,640
Speaker 1: how much I have sex with him. But the sex

510
00:21:28,761 --> 00:21:32,081
Speaker 1: is so good. But she was emotionally not not into him,

511
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 1: but the sex was just that good she couldn't keep

512
00:21:34,441 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: away from him. Wow. In my head, that's why I

513
00:21:36,521 --> 00:21:38,001
Speaker 1: imagine for you, like, if you're not wanting to be

514
00:21:38,001 --> 00:21:41,441
Speaker 1: in a relationship but you love sex, then that can

515
00:21:41,521 --> 00:21:44,200
Speaker 1: be an option. But also everyone's so different, you know.

516
00:21:44,681 --> 00:21:46,321
Speaker 2: But then I think What gets me is like the

517
00:21:46,721 --> 00:21:49,201
Speaker 2: you know, having to get to know someone, what.

518
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:50,761
Speaker 1: If the sex isn't good?

519
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then energy, it's a lot of energy out.

520
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,401
Speaker 2: I'm like, I already have a lot of energy out.

521
00:21:56,561 --> 00:21:58,761
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the conclusion we came to the other day

522
00:21:58,801 --> 00:22:00,761
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, I was like, who else the time?

523
00:22:02,281 --> 00:22:03,161
Speaker 1: Just my Vibebrader.

524
00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:05,561
Speaker 2: Honestly, I've been using that girl every but.

525
00:22:06,521 --> 00:22:09,480
Speaker 1: This is us just talking raw about it, have answers,

526
00:22:09,521 --> 00:22:10,920
Speaker 1: and there's no wronger rit, you know.

527
00:22:10,961 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 2: What else is interesting? Tell me what's you know how

528
00:22:13,321 --> 00:22:15,481
Speaker 2: we talk about You guys are gonna laugh when we

529
00:22:15,521 --> 00:22:16,561
Speaker 2: talk about funny flutters.

530
00:22:16,721 --> 00:22:20,521
Speaker 1: Yes, funny flatters. We heard this, Oh my eyebrow lady.

531
00:22:20,561 --> 00:22:21,841
Speaker 1: She told me she had them, and I just had

532
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,441
Speaker 1: not heard that in years, And I told you, yeah,

533
00:22:23,441 --> 00:22:24,721
Speaker 1: she brought it in to the conversation.

534
00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:27,161
Speaker 2: Who just thought it was so funny and it's so

535
00:22:27,201 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 2: true that if you've ever experienced it, you know that

536
00:22:28,961 --> 00:22:30,521
Speaker 2: feeling that you kind of get in your pussy when

537
00:22:30,561 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 2: like you're really turned on by someone or you're really attracted,

538
00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,521
Speaker 2: or they say something and it just hits the right

539
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:37,641
Speaker 2: spot and you're like, oh, that was a bit cheeky.

540
00:22:37,801 --> 00:22:41,321
Speaker 2: It's like fun and playful. Does that happen when you're

541
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 2: wanting to just sleep with somebody?

542
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,200
Speaker 1: I would think so surely. Yeah, you're going in with

543
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,521
Speaker 1: intention to have sex, Yeah, to be turned on and

544
00:22:47,561 --> 00:22:48,041
Speaker 1: have fun.

545
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,161
Speaker 2: See, I feel like I would need that feeling.

546
00:22:50,481 --> 00:22:51,961
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know I would do it without that.

547
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:53,761
Speaker 2: No, Like, there are men that I find attractive, but

548
00:22:53,761 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 2: I don't have that feeling with do you know what

549
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:55,640
Speaker 2: I mean?

550
00:22:55,681 --> 00:22:58,041
Speaker 1: So that I'm like, Dan, there was a conversation around

551
00:22:58,041 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: listening to your intuition, yes, because you would say, oh,

552
00:23:00,761 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 1: I've met this guy, da da da, Oh, but x

553
00:23:03,041 --> 00:23:05,041
Speaker 1: y Z doesn't feel good for me. That's a red flag.

554
00:23:05,041 --> 00:23:07,321
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, there's your answer. Yeah, you know what

555
00:23:07,441 --> 00:23:09,361
Speaker 1: to do here. Yeah, you know it's not worth your

556
00:23:09,481 --> 00:23:12,120
Speaker 1: energy out for sure. Your time's precious. Yeah, your gut's

557
00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:13,961
Speaker 1: already giving you the red flag. It's on.

558
00:23:14,041 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 2: And it's just because somebody shows you interest doesn't mean

559
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:17,761
Speaker 2: you automatically have to show interest back.

560
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:18,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

561
00:23:18,120 --> 00:23:20,241
Speaker 2: I think that's just a cool little thing to kind

562
00:23:20,241 --> 00:23:22,400
Speaker 2: of pay attention to. Definitely, I remember saying to you

563
00:23:22,441 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 2: just being like, oh, I just don't have the energy

564
00:23:24,321 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 2: to entertain this or do this or have the want

565
00:23:27,441 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 2: to continue talking or.

566
00:23:29,441 --> 00:23:31,200
Speaker 1: I think, and it could be a generalization, but I

567
00:23:31,241 --> 00:23:33,720
Speaker 1: think when you meet someone, you will want to go

568
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,081
Speaker 1: on that date. If you don't want to, I think

569
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:39,441
Speaker 1: it's a big intuition. It's a big gut saying no. Yeah,

570
00:23:39,481 --> 00:23:42,281
Speaker 1: if your body's not a fool, yes, I think. Listen

571
00:23:42,360 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: to that. So interesting. They've gone really off topic.

572
00:23:46,481 --> 00:23:49,681
Speaker 2: I really have you know, it's actually funny. Yes, Laila

573
00:23:49,721 --> 00:23:52,561
Speaker 2: Halmosi talks about dating like it's a numbers game, as

574
00:23:52,561 --> 00:23:54,921
Speaker 2: if it's business. But she's the only person that I've

575
00:23:54,921 --> 00:23:56,921
Speaker 2: heard talk about it like this, And I actually respect

576
00:23:56,921 --> 00:24:00,001
Speaker 2: her so much for it because she talks about dating

577
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,801
Speaker 2: as in like, of course, you're not going to meet

578
00:24:01,801 --> 00:24:03,120
Speaker 2: the person that you meant to be with or the

579
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 2: love of your life or you know, someone that you

580
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 2: actually gel with if you aren't going on dates. Yeah,

581
00:24:07,761 --> 00:24:09,921
Speaker 2: And I just found it so interesting because for her,

582
00:24:10,521 --> 00:24:12,281
Speaker 2: for a year and a half before she met Alex

583
00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:14,681
Speaker 2: which is her now husband, she went on a date

584
00:24:14,761 --> 00:24:17,041
Speaker 2: every single week for a year and a half. Wow,

585
00:24:17,120 --> 00:24:18,961
Speaker 2: And like respect to her for doing it. It's a

586
00:24:19,001 --> 00:24:20,360
Speaker 2: lot of energy. I don't think I could do that.

587
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:21,481
Speaker 1: A lot of small talk.

588
00:24:21,521 --> 00:24:23,561
Speaker 2: And she said on her lunch breaks she was on

589
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,041
Speaker 2: dating apps and stuff like going on dates and talking

590
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 2: to people. And she's like, of course, because it's a

591
00:24:27,761 --> 00:24:30,120
Speaker 2: numbers game, you think I'm gonna find Like my personal.

592
00:24:29,961 --> 00:24:32,200
Speaker 1: Said that, you know, Yeah, he gave it the advice

593
00:24:32,241 --> 00:24:34,561
Speaker 1: to someone that was really against dating apps. Can't remember

594
00:24:34,561 --> 00:24:37,241
Speaker 1: her it was, but he basically said, like, if you're

595
00:24:37,241 --> 00:24:39,680
Speaker 1: not on there, everyone else is your turn sets behind.

596
00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:43,041
Speaker 1: This is spodern day dating. Yeah, wow, very Yes you

597
00:24:43,041 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: can meet people organically for sure, but most people are

598
00:24:46,281 --> 00:24:48,201
Speaker 1: on there. Yes, and yes there's a lot of fucking

599
00:24:48,201 --> 00:24:49,921
Speaker 1: around on there. I'm sure I've never been on there,

600
00:24:50,001 --> 00:24:52,160
Speaker 1: but from what I've heard from friends, there's a lot

601
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:56,281
Speaker 1: of fucking around and sifting through the potential candidates.

602
00:24:56,281 --> 00:24:57,160
Speaker 2: Sounds exhausting, but.

603
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:58,721
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're not on there, then note eves in

604
00:24:58,721 --> 00:25:01,360
Speaker 1: the population is so they're putting theirselves out there, they're

605
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,801
Speaker 1: more likely going to meet someone. And most people I

606
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,561
Speaker 1: know have met on dating sites. Even I met on

607
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 1: Facebook my mum and her partner over ten years now,

608
00:25:08,241 --> 00:25:09,880
Speaker 1: I bet on a dating app. Steve sent you a

609
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:10,801
Speaker 1: screenshot the other day.

610
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,041
Speaker 2: Oh my god, so Steve sent me this thing and

611
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,281
Speaker 2: he was like, he's like, I found.

612
00:25:18,001 --> 00:25:21,001
Speaker 1: You a keeper, Steve on the Hunts.

613
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:25,360
Speaker 2: So it's like Martin thirty seven. Mind you, he's got

614
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:27,721
Speaker 2: like the bull piercing in his nose. You know, I

615
00:25:27,761 --> 00:25:28,441
Speaker 2: don't know what it's called.

616
00:25:28,521 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 1: Beard full big beard.

617
00:25:30,441 --> 00:25:32,801
Speaker 2: Stretches in his ears, and he goes about me, five

618
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:35,321
Speaker 2: foot eight, straight man, less than a mile away. I'm

619
00:25:35,321 --> 00:25:37,521
Speaker 2: a single father of three. They are my world. If

620
00:25:37,521 --> 00:25:38,961
Speaker 2: you don't have what it takes to help me raise

621
00:25:39,001 --> 00:25:41,401
Speaker 2: my kids, then move aside. Let a real woman step up.

622
00:25:41,801 --> 00:25:43,400
Speaker 2: If you want me alone, you have to pay for

623
00:25:43,441 --> 00:25:46,561
Speaker 2: the babysitter, must help pay for beard and hair care.

624
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 2: Being this beautiful isn't cheap. Wing face. Must have your

625
00:25:49,961 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 2: own car, preferably a seven seater, must cook clean, be submissive,

626
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:56,281
Speaker 2: and no taller than five to seven, no heavier than

627
00:25:56,281 --> 00:25:58,721
Speaker 2: one hundred kilos. Must be fit and have your own

628
00:25:58,761 --> 00:26:00,321
Speaker 2: source of income and your own teeth.

629
00:26:02,521 --> 00:26:06,041
Speaker 1: What the actual fuck? I wish good show you. I'm

630
00:26:06,041 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 1: already out. I'm fie, so I wouldn't have I wouldn't

631
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,521
Speaker 1: even have a chance to do. I'm five six, but

632
00:26:11,801 --> 00:26:14,401
Speaker 1: I don't know, so sounds like catch Steve. You're doing

633
00:26:14,441 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 1: amazing Tiana really appreciates the effort.

634
00:26:17,041 --> 00:26:18,801
Speaker 2: As you can tell, it's really fun being single guys.

635
00:26:18,921 --> 00:26:21,721
Speaker 1: Yes, a small pool of good guys.

636
00:26:21,801 --> 00:26:24,961
Speaker 2: Yes, the pool definitely gets smaller when you will require

637
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:27,041
Speaker 2: more and you have higher standards and all that sort

638
00:26:27,041 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 2: of stuff. But it's also good because the ones that

639
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:31,281
Speaker 2: you do meet actually end up being really good.

640
00:26:31,201 --> 00:26:33,761
Speaker 1: Human That's right. Yeah, you've got high standards. You're a

641
00:26:33,801 --> 00:26:37,761
Speaker 1: twelve babe. No, to wrap up this conversation, let's talk

642
00:26:37,801 --> 00:26:40,881
Speaker 1: about sex more, let's normalize it more. Let's not let's

643
00:26:40,921 --> 00:26:44,001
Speaker 1: take away the stigma and the shame. And it all

644
00:26:44,001 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: starts with like when even when you listen to us

645
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,360
Speaker 1: talking about it, like what comes up for you? Write

646
00:26:48,400 --> 00:26:51,321
Speaker 1: it down, journal, sit with it? Why is that uncomfortable?

647
00:26:51,360 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 1: Why does that feel dirty for you? Where has that

648
00:26:53,521 --> 00:26:56,321
Speaker 1: been labeled? Who's told you that? Where did that come from? Then?

649
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,961
Speaker 1: Have they been told something? Something's happened along your life

650
00:27:00,041 --> 00:27:02,961
Speaker 1: journey that has then conditioned and shaped you to think

651
00:27:03,001 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: that way? But is it the actual truth? And does

652
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:07,440
Speaker 1: it have to be your truth?

653
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:08,161
Speaker 3: No?

654
00:27:08,481 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 1: You get to create your own life. You get to

655
00:27:10,201 --> 00:27:13,920
Speaker 1: have your own views and values around this topic.

656
00:27:14,041 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it, I love it and I think

657
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,120
Speaker 2: one thing as well, like, wherever you are on the

658
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:20,521
Speaker 2: scale of sex, however comfortable you feel or don't feel

659
00:27:20,521 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 2: with it. Maybe you've never had an orgasm before, or

660
00:27:22,681 --> 00:27:25,481
Speaker 2: maybe you love sex and your pleasure is your absolute birthright,

661
00:27:25,521 --> 00:27:28,041
Speaker 2: and you know that no matter where you are. If

662
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 2: you are deciding that you want to explore sex, even

663
00:27:30,321 --> 00:27:32,041
Speaker 2: if it's just on your own, and you want to

664
00:27:32,041 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 2: explore pleasure, be willing to like push through the resistance

665
00:27:35,761 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 2: of your mind, right, because pleasure is a body act.

666
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:39,080
Speaker 1: Right.

667
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,201
Speaker 2: If you're in your head, you are not present, and

668
00:27:41,241 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 2: for women, it's very much a body game. So you

669
00:27:44,120 --> 00:27:46,041
Speaker 2: need to drop out of your head and into your body.

670
00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:49,601
Speaker 2: And if you have moments of resistance, breathing through it

671
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,641
Speaker 2: and allowing yourself to just continue on doing what you're

672
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,201
Speaker 2: doing and just explore with curiosity, like there is no judgment.

673
00:27:56,321 --> 00:28:00,240
Speaker 2: Your experience with yourself doesn't have to be the externalized

674
00:28:00,281 --> 00:28:02,880
Speaker 2: judgment that people have. It gets to be a safe space.

675
00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 2: But only you can create that.

676
00:28:04,681 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 1: And if you're uncomfortable with that too. I loved what

677
00:28:07,201 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 1: really helped me. It sounds so simple, but a moody room, music,

678
00:28:11,481 --> 00:28:14,041
Speaker 1: candles and like a nice night or something someone just

679
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,881
Speaker 1: drops you into the mood, drops you into the space

680
00:28:16,961 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: that you just feel relaxing. If you just in your

681
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,201
Speaker 1: normal environment it's bright lights and you're looking at it,

682
00:28:21,201 --> 00:28:23,840
Speaker 1: it just feels a bit more uncomfortable. Like yeah, Like,

683
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 1: I also like make it a beautiful environment where you

684
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,841
Speaker 1: can just relax and take some breath and take nice

685
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:30,120
Speaker 1: and slow, like carve out the space and time to

686
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:31,440
Speaker 1: be able to explore that with yourself.

687
00:28:31,481 --> 00:28:31,681
Speaker 3: Yeah.

688
00:28:31,801 --> 00:28:32,281
Speaker 1: Beautiful.

689
00:28:32,360 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, create it like you would as if you were

690
00:28:34,281 --> 00:28:36,561
Speaker 2: doing it for your partner. Literally, you think you deserve

691
00:28:36,561 --> 00:28:38,801
Speaker 2: the same treatment, and when you treat it like that,

692
00:28:38,841 --> 00:28:40,161
Speaker 2: you'll have a much better experience.

693
00:28:40,361 --> 00:28:43,721
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. Well cool, all right, guys, thanks

694
00:28:43,721 --> 00:28:45,960
Speaker 1: for joining us. Bye bye,