1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,960 Speaker 1: It fits in whither with Cape Richie podcast. 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:05,240 Speaker 2: I want to talk about how to make a man 3 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:09,559 Speaker 2: obsessed with you. I also I also want to start 4 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,080 Speaker 2: this by saying, I don't think it should be your 5 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 2: main goal for twenty twenty four. 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 1: I do. 7 00:00:15,720 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: I don't think it should be the one thing that 8 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,200 Speaker 2: we're taking notes on and really putting all of our 9 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 2: energies into. But I guess that if you are in 10 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 2: the dating game and you want someone to be into you, 11 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 2: then of course you're trolling through all of the tints, 12 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 2: O Kate. 13 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:32,160 Speaker 3: When the sun is out and it's summertime, you play 14 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,559 Speaker 3: the beach wise. Oh you do? You play the beach boys. 15 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 3: But the feeling of love sort of hangs high in 16 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 3: the air, and single people are often on the hunt. 17 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:40,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. 18 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 2: Well, I think there's a lovely feeling of anticipation. Isn't 19 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,920 Speaker 2: there something to be excited about? 20 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 3: Yeah? 21 00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:48,680 Speaker 4: A lot of mistakes made over that period as well. 22 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 4: Are we talking physically? Are you talking presentation here of men? 23 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 4: Or are we talking personalities? What are we talking? 24 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 2: It's a trick. It's a tricky little thing, and it's 25 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 2: I'm I'm going to admit I didn't come up with 26 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,319 Speaker 2: this There's a woman who's a she's a mindset coach, 27 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,680 Speaker 2: and it is very controversial because I think it does 28 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 2: introduce an imbalance in relationships very early on. It does 29 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,960 Speaker 2: mean that boundaries are broken and all of the things 30 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 2: that you then spend lots of money on therapy or 31 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 2: years to undo. This woman is suggesting you do it 32 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 2: to make a man obsessed with you to start with. 33 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 2: Some are even calling it toxic. I will let Anna 34 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 2: Christina Schmidt explain how to make a man obsessed. 35 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: The easiest way to get a man is to be 36 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: rude and mean. If someone is mean to you, triggers 37 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 1: your insecurities and it makes you feel rejected. Naturally, what 38 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 1: your brain is trying to do is to be validated, accepted, 39 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,440 Speaker 1: and get rid of the rejection. More the person keeps 40 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: thinking about this rejection and wanting to be accepted, the 41 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: more the person will be thinking of you, and he 42 00:01:55,080 --> 00:01:58,400 Speaker 1: will be wanting to pursue you and chase It sound. 43 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 4: A load of crap, What a load of crap, because 44 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:05,200 Speaker 4: first impressions are so vital and if someone treated me 45 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 4: like that, I'm not going back. 46 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 3: Yes, Schmidt, for brains. 47 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 2: Who are you calling that? You might have healthy levels 48 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 2: of self esteem. What she's talking about is that thrill 49 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 2: of the chase, which sometimes exists very early on anyway, 50 00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:26,960 Speaker 2: you know, without having to be mean, the idea of 51 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 2: maybe not getting something over the line, or maybe not 52 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 2: getting that first date with somebody. It keeps you keen 53 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,119 Speaker 2: because there's a level of jeopardy. 54 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:38,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, but if you're just being if you go down 55 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:40,880 Speaker 3: the path of chasing somebody and they turn around and 56 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 3: to you to get stuffed as a tactic to make 57 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,959 Speaker 3: you want more, I just don't think it's going to work. 58 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:53,600 Speaker 3: Ego goes now you can get stuffed because there's any 59 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 3: more fish in the sea. 60 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,519 Speaker 4: BJ rejected me numerous times. 61 00:02:58,600 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: There you go. 62 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,799 Speaker 4: And the big one was the Virgin Flight to the 63 00:03:03,040 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 4: Virgin of Virgin Australia party, the up of the hangar 64 00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 4: there up on the Brisbane up in Brisbane. We went 65 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,320 Speaker 4: up there with a few mates and I thought. 66 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 2: This is it. 67 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,120 Speaker 4: I asked around, told it. We got back to her 68 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 4: that I was going to be there, and there was 69 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 4: this one moment I remember Kate and I thought, this 70 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,600 Speaker 4: is it. She's looking over she had a group of 71 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 4: girls around her. She looked saw me, pointed to me 72 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 4: and all the girls looked over and then they all 73 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 4: started laughing because the whole stuff because of the yeah 74 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,800 Speaker 4: it was and probably yeah a few things that I 75 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 4: tested positive to at the time. But I there was 76 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 4: this moment Kate where it just absolutely ripped my heart out, 77 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,480 Speaker 4: to the point that after that I didn't see her 78 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 4: for another two years. I took her out of my mind. 79 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 4: This is not going to work because she. 80 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 3: Was mean to you. 81 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 2: You didn't follow up on that evening. No, that's the 82 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 2: I think it can keep people interested. I think that 83 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 2: when people I think sometimes men do it, but I 84 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:04,720 Speaker 2: know I think the being mean thing has even worked 85 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 2: for me many. 86 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 3: Years doing it for long enough? 87 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 2: Is that right? And who have you been talking to? No, 88 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 2: I'm talking about very early on, I think it was. 89 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 2: It was my way of I mean, it's so. 90 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:25,960 Speaker 3: Child protecting yourself. 91 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 2: And of course I've grown up and out of this habit. 92 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 2: But when I would meet people, the meaner I was 93 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 2: to you, the more I liked you. I mean, oh, 94 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 2: cologists in their cars are having a field day like that. 95 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 2: But many years my you know, one of my first 96 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:52,040 Speaker 2: kind of big out of school relationships. That's how I 97 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 2: think he just became obsessed with me. 98 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 4: That was your defense. Mechanism was to be like you know. 99 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 2: It wasn't a mechanism. It was my way of like, 100 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,120 Speaker 2: you know, last suing them into. 101 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 4: You know, treating them badly. 102 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 2: Treating them and keeping them keen. This person I met 103 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 2: at a party. It was a big kind of function 104 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:17,640 Speaker 2: and what did you do? And so there were lots 105 00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:20,039 Speaker 2: of lots of people there, and then there was also 106 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:24,000 Speaker 2: a section with just like VIPs, so it had the 107 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 2: the roped off area or whenever. And I spotted this 108 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:30,119 Speaker 2: person and I thought, oh, it's a bit of stuff. 109 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:34,400 Speaker 2: He's a bit of And I thought how to I 110 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 2: don't know how to open a conversation, but I do 111 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:40,479 Speaker 2: quite like him. And we went. We were passing each 112 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 2: other in the coroner when the toilet was at the 113 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 2: same time, and I thought, it's not smooth. It doesn't 114 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 2: sound smooth, but it was. It's an example. 115 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 3: Drum roll pickup line. You're outside the bathroom? What did 116 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 3: you go with? 117 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 2: I said, I think you might be lost? This is 118 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 2: the VIP area And. 119 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 3: What did Richard Wilkins from It's in Whipper with Kate 120 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 3: Ritchie is a Nova podcast to walk great shows like this. 121 00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 3: Download the Nova Player via the app Store or Google Play. 122 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,040 Speaker 1: The Nova Player