WEBVTT - Summer series: Emily Skye on feeling “broken” before her ADHD diagnosis

0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:02.200
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Healthy Ish. Yes you have tuned into the

0:00:02.240 --> 0:00:04.000
<v Speaker 1>podcast from Body and Soul. I am your host of

0:00:04.000 --> 0:00:07.440
<v Speaker 1>Felicity Harley. To celebrate summer, we're dropping our top Healthish

0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:11.719
<v Speaker 1>episodes of the year. Now. This one we dropped earlier

0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:14.160
<v Speaker 1>in the year. I think it was around April. It

0:00:14.200 --> 0:00:17.119
<v Speaker 1>is with fitness Mogul and pt Emily Sky and she

0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:21.040
<v Speaker 1>shared how for decades she felt broken and then she

0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:26.320
<v Speaker 1>was diagnosed with ADHD and suddenly everything made well, somewhat sense.

0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:29.960
<v Speaker 1>She shares more about that in this episode today. Now

0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:32.280
<v Speaker 1>make sure you're listening to Extra healthy Ish as well,

0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:37.800
<v Speaker 1>where she shares more about her entire ADHD journey. You

0:00:37.840 --> 0:00:51.760
<v Speaker 1>can catch that one where we get your podcasts. Emily

0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:54.000
<v Speaker 1>is so nice to have you back on healthy She's

0:00:54.040 --> 0:00:55.400
<v Speaker 1>been a few years since you were on here.

0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:58.720
<v Speaker 2>Actually it has, Felicity, it's been too long, so it's good.

0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:00.600
<v Speaker 1>To be better. Yeah, nice to have you back. And

0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:04.360
<v Speaker 1>do we say congratulations or what do we say? I'm

0:01:05.000 --> 0:01:07.559
<v Speaker 1>not sure what to say. I just want to say

0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:09.800
<v Speaker 1>thank you, well, thank you. That's probably the best words,

0:01:09.840 --> 0:01:11.560
<v Speaker 1>isn't it. It takes a lot of courage to come out

0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:15.319
<v Speaker 1>and talk about a diagnosis of neurodiversity. How are you feeling?

0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:19.399
<v Speaker 2>I think it's the reason I decided to share is

0:01:19.440 --> 0:01:21.440
<v Speaker 2>because I think it's so important that we do talk

0:01:21.480 --> 0:01:24.240
<v Speaker 2>about these things and we don't feel shame around it,

0:01:24.240 --> 0:01:26.080
<v Speaker 2>which I think a lot of people do. And I

0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:27.840
<v Speaker 2>think the more you talk about it, the more people

0:01:27.920 --> 0:01:30.240
<v Speaker 2>can get help and they become aware of themselves and

0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:32.080
<v Speaker 2>they know what to do as well because they can

0:01:32.080 --> 0:01:34.320
<v Speaker 2>see what other people do help themselves.

0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:39.360
<v Speaker 1>Are you feeling relieved? Are you feeling prior do you

0:01:39.360 --> 0:01:40.319
<v Speaker 1>feeling less shame?

0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:43.319
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I have a sense of relief because now I

0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:46.520
<v Speaker 2>know I've got answers right. All my life I've felt

0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:49.040
<v Speaker 2>odd and now I know, hey, could this has been

0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:52.280
<v Speaker 2>affecting me? And I know that there is something that

0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.520
<v Speaker 2>I can actually do about it. So there's a sense

0:01:54.560 --> 0:01:56.560
<v Speaker 2>of relief, but also a bit of grief because of

0:01:56.600 --> 0:01:59.920
<v Speaker 2>the life that I may have. I don't know if

0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:01.800
<v Speaker 2>missed out on is the right word, because I have

0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:04.680
<v Speaker 2>had an amazing life and I'm very blessed, but there's

0:02:04.720 --> 0:02:07.480
<v Speaker 2>been a lot of situations where I felt like I

0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:09.320
<v Speaker 2>could have dealt with them better had I have had

0:02:09.600 --> 0:02:10.920
<v Speaker 2>the support and the knowledge.

0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:15.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, Actually that's a really valid emotion, isn't it,

0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:18.000
<v Speaker 1>Because I've never actually heard of someone talk about grief

0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:21.080
<v Speaker 1>when they've been diagnosed with with whatever it may be,

0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:24.320
<v Speaker 1>but grief of thinking Okay, I could have managed this better.

0:02:24.560 --> 0:02:26.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot. It was very confronting.

0:02:26.960 --> 0:02:29.480
<v Speaker 2>And one of the things the psychiatrist said to me

0:02:29.960 --> 0:02:32.480
<v Speaker 2>after I sat with him ninety minutes actually it took

0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:35.720
<v Speaker 2>he said, I'm surprised that you didn't end up a

0:02:35.760 --> 0:02:37.919
<v Speaker 2>drug addict on the street with the way that your

0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:42.400
<v Speaker 2>brain is. Wow. And I was like, whoa, wow, Wow.

0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:45.760
<v Speaker 1>He was surprised that I don't do drug Wow. Maybe

0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:48.440
<v Speaker 1>fitness is your is your other? Is your other drugs?

0:02:48.480 --> 0:02:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Exactly? And he kept saying, he kept saying, how do

0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:53.200
<v Speaker 2>you deal with this? And then I told him, with fitness,

0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:56.200
<v Speaker 2>I have to stay active otherwise I start just losing

0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:57.480
<v Speaker 2>my mind a bit. Yeah.

0:02:57.560 --> 0:03:00.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Now, I mean I feel like, well, there has

0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:02.840
<v Speaker 1>been a long list of home profile women that you've

0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:07.000
<v Speaker 1>now joined who have shared the ADHD journey. I mean

0:03:07.040 --> 0:03:09.120
<v Speaker 1>Abby Chatfield and Riachiana. Actually we had her on the

0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:12.960
<v Speaker 1>podcast discussing it as well. I mean, women have been

0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:16.200
<v Speaker 1>too long ignored in this space. How does that make

0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:17.040
<v Speaker 1>you feel.

0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:20.640
<v Speaker 2>We have definitely been ignored and the funny thing, it

0:03:20.680 --> 0:03:24.880
<v Speaker 2>was not funny, definitely, the wrong turns were ironic. Thing. Yes,

0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:27.440
<v Speaker 2>it's back back when I was a kid and a teenager.

0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I was actually put on antidepressants around the age of

0:03:29.440 --> 0:03:33.560
<v Speaker 2>twelve or thirteen, and I really struggled as a kid

0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:36.680
<v Speaker 2>with my mental health, especially all through my teens, and

0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:41.720
<v Speaker 2>I spoke to many psychologists and counselors, doctors trying to

0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:46.040
<v Speaker 2>figure out what's wrong, and nobody mentioned ADHD because I

0:03:46.080 --> 0:03:48.280
<v Speaker 2>was shy, right, I wasn't the kid in class. I

0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:51.080
<v Speaker 2>wasn't the boy that was playing out, which was the

0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:53.160
<v Speaker 2>typical ADHD.

0:03:54.040 --> 0:03:55.000
<v Speaker 1>Person. I guess.

0:03:55.440 --> 0:03:57.560
<v Speaker 2>So I think that's why I got overlooked along with

0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.000
<v Speaker 2>many other women. And it's only now that we're starting

0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:01.800
<v Speaker 2>to get diagnosed more.

0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:04.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, more awareness around it, and you know, people like

0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.960
<v Speaker 1>you coming out, so thank you. Now you did a

0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:10.200
<v Speaker 1>recent shoot with Body and Soul. How was that, By

0:04:10.240 --> 0:04:13.640
<v Speaker 1>the way, it was so good. It was really I mean,

0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:15.360
<v Speaker 1>you're going to see the photos everyone to make sure

0:04:15.360 --> 0:04:17.640
<v Speaker 1>you get a copy. But it's very different for me.

0:04:17.680 --> 0:04:19.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to give away too much, but I've

0:04:19.200 --> 0:04:21.080
<v Speaker 2>never done anything like it, and I was really excited

0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.279
<v Speaker 2>to do that. Yeah, well you also there was a

0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:25.680
<v Speaker 2>line in the story that kind of jumped out at me,

0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:28.760
<v Speaker 2>and you told body and soul, no one deserves to

0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:31.960
<v Speaker 2>go through life feeling like a broken human. I mean

0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:36.080
<v Speaker 2>my heart just went, oh oh, that's hard to read.

0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:42.080
<v Speaker 2>How did you feel broken before this diagnosis? I've always

0:04:42.120 --> 0:04:44.560
<v Speaker 2>felt different, like I don't fit in with anyone, and

0:04:44.600 --> 0:04:47.440
<v Speaker 2>a sense of not belonging. That's something I've struggled with,

0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:49.720
<v Speaker 2>and it sort of sits with self worth as well

0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:53.719
<v Speaker 2>as obviously many different things that contribute to how someone

0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:57.919
<v Speaker 2>feels right. It's not just ADHD, but I think not

0:04:58.080 --> 0:05:00.760
<v Speaker 2>knowing I always had an inkling I was, but I

0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:03.599
<v Speaker 2>wasn't sure. And yeah, I just didn't feel like I

0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:05.919
<v Speaker 2>fit in anywhere, and I felt very odd and I

0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:08.680
<v Speaker 2>felt like people didn't understand me. I almost feel like

0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:13.160
<v Speaker 2>even now taking someone and going, don't you understand this

0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:15.760
<v Speaker 2>is how I feel. It's difficult for me, and I

0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:19.239
<v Speaker 2>felt I did feel ashamed to feel that way because

0:05:19.279 --> 0:05:21.080
<v Speaker 2>I am very blessed. I have a great life, I

0:05:21.080 --> 0:05:23.159
<v Speaker 2>have a great career, I have a beautiful family, have

0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:26.760
<v Speaker 2>my health, and I felt like it was I wasn't

0:05:26.800 --> 0:05:30.040
<v Speaker 2>being grateful, And it's not that. It's that I struggled

0:05:30.040 --> 0:05:32.360
<v Speaker 2>to do normal things. Even just waking up in the

0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:35.880
<v Speaker 2>morning and doing a normal day would stress me out

0:05:35.920 --> 0:05:37.640
<v Speaker 2>and I have terribly anxiety over it.

0:05:38.640 --> 0:05:41.800
<v Speaker 1>What advice would you give to women who are feeling

0:05:42.360 --> 0:05:46.840
<v Speaker 1>similar things that you are? I mean, I yeah, I mean.

0:05:46.839 --> 0:05:49.159
<v Speaker 1>It's an interesting conundrum, isn't it. Because you were saying

0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:52.239
<v Speaker 1>that you feel, you know, you have to be grateful

0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:54.000
<v Speaker 1>and you should be happy, and people are saying, but

0:05:54.040 --> 0:05:55.760
<v Speaker 1>you've you know, you've got this great life, You've got

0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:57.880
<v Speaker 1>a beautiful family, you had a great career, you're fit,

0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:00.760
<v Speaker 1>and you're healthy. But it's on my don't You're not

0:06:01.040 --> 0:06:03.640
<v Speaker 1>You're not allowed to give your self permission to feel well.

0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:08.080
<v Speaker 2>Brod entitled exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I kept and

0:06:08.120 --> 0:06:09.960
<v Speaker 2>I still do it now, but I'm learning to go

0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:12.839
<v Speaker 2>easier with myself. But that was the voice in my

0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:16.200
<v Speaker 2>head that i'd hear and from other people. Stop being ungrateful,

0:06:16.640 --> 0:06:19.760
<v Speaker 2>that you know you're blessed, and it's not that, because

0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:24.400
<v Speaker 2>it's actually a structural issue with your brain. It's I

0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:26.919
<v Speaker 2>don't know what else. I'm not a neuroscientist, but you know,

0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:29.039
<v Speaker 2>there's a lot of things that are actually there that

0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:32.560
<v Speaker 2>are different to your normal, normal person. It's what's normal.

0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:34.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, but we'll just call it normal in

0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:39.799
<v Speaker 2>the situation. Yeah, and I've gotten lost now, Adhd, thank you.

0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.839
<v Speaker 1>No, No, let me ask you another question. What advice

0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:48.640
<v Speaker 1>would you give to other women who are perhaps identifying

0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:51.760
<v Speaker 1>with you, who feel like they're not so called normal.

0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:52.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm saying that in their quotes.

0:06:53.839 --> 0:06:58.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, well number one, seek help, So don't just

0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:01.159
<v Speaker 2>stay the way you are. There's always something you can do.

0:07:01.600 --> 0:07:04.800
<v Speaker 2>So for me, I decided to seek out a psychiatrist.

0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:06.919
<v Speaker 2>I've got a referral from my doctor. I got on

0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:09.920
<v Speaker 2>many different lists because it's a long wait list, up

0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:11.520
<v Speaker 2>to eighteen months or even longer.

0:07:11.600 --> 0:07:13.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, and I was very lucky.

0:07:13.360 --> 0:07:15.640
<v Speaker 2>I got a cancelation pretty much the next day. It

0:07:15.720 --> 0:07:18.920
<v Speaker 2>was like the most amazing thing happened. I couldn't believe it.

0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:22.440
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I took the appointment, obviously, and sat with

0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:25.200
<v Speaker 2>a psychiatrist for the ninety minutes and did an evaluation,

0:07:25.320 --> 0:07:27.720
<v Speaker 2>went back to my history. I had my partner declan,

0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:30.280
<v Speaker 2>who's my fance? Now I've got to get used to say,

0:07:31.000 --> 0:07:33.160
<v Speaker 2>sitting with me, which is also another important thing that

0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:37.160
<v Speaker 2>the people around you actually understand and then speak to someone,

0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:40.840
<v Speaker 2>speak to a psychiatrist preferably or a psychologist, and do

0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.160
<v Speaker 2>that regularly. So you've got to find out what things

0:07:43.160 --> 0:07:44.680
<v Speaker 2>that you can do to help yourself and make sure

0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:46.400
<v Speaker 2>you stay on top of it. So I like to

0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:48.840
<v Speaker 2>use analogy. It's like fitness. If you want to be fit,

0:07:48.920 --> 0:07:51.160
<v Speaker 2>you've got to be consistent with your training. If you

0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:54.920
<v Speaker 2>want healthy mental health, then you've got to be consistent

0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:56.600
<v Speaker 2>with whatever it is that helps you.

0:07:57.600 --> 0:08:00.360
<v Speaker 1>Do you feel like now that you've had these diagnosis

0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:02.840
<v Speaker 1>that you kind of belong do you feel like that's

0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:06.880
<v Speaker 1>given you a sense that I do have more Yeah, yeah.

0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:11.200
<v Speaker 2>Yes, more of a sense of belonging and understanding myself

0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:13.880
<v Speaker 2>cutting myself from slack. I've been doing a lot of research.

0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:18.680
<v Speaker 2>It's my hyper fixation I've been using and the obsessiveness.

0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:20.840
<v Speaker 2>But as soon as I got the diagnosis, I was

0:08:20.920 --> 0:08:25.280
<v Speaker 2>just on YouTube, like binge, watching different things about ADHD

0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:27.640
<v Speaker 2>and other people's experience with it as well, and I

0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:31.040
<v Speaker 2>was like, Yes, this person understands me even though I've

0:08:31.080 --> 0:08:33.280
<v Speaker 2>never met them. Yeah, it's a good I think it's

0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.760
<v Speaker 2>really important for anyone to have that sense of belonging

0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:36.880
<v Speaker 2>and finding your people.

0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, finding you people. Were well done, And thank you

0:08:39.320 --> 0:08:43.199
<v Speaker 1>for being so bold and courageous and coming out well

0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:46.239
<v Speaker 1>across you know, in the fabulous shoot and on the podcast.

0:08:46.520 --> 0:08:48.480
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, thanks for joing so much.

0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:50.760
<v Speaker 2>Thanks for having me Felicity and I look forward to

0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:56.440
<v Speaker 2>seeing the magazine come out. Thank you for listening to

0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:59.679
<v Speaker 2>this interview as part of our twenty twenty four summer series.

0:09:00.080 --> 0:09:04.000
<v Speaker 2>Are plenty more awesome epps for your ears, both from

0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:06.720
<v Speaker 2>Healthy Ish and our big sister podcast, Extra healthy Ish.

0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:09.200
<v Speaker 2>If you did like this interview, please take a quick

0:09:09.200 --> 0:09:11.840
<v Speaker 2>minute to share it with a friend. If you do

0:09:12.040 --> 0:09:14.800
<v Speaker 2>want any other info, head to bodyansoul dot com, dot you.

0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:18.439
<v Speaker 1>Follows on socials. Any feedback please dm me at Felicity

0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:22.800
<v Speaker 1>Harley and until tomorrow, enjoy the sun and stay healthy

0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:22.920
<v Speaker 1>is