WEBVTT - I LIED ABOUT WHO I AM ONLINE... 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:02.640 I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming. 0:00:03.120 --> 0:00:06.000 She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:07.360 my kissing style. 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:10.879 With the boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:13.600 in a trash bit. He's non recyclable catching them. 0:00:15.160 --> 0:00:19.079 I love being love. I love love. On today's episode 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:22.720 of Where's Your Head we are discussing catfishing. Stay tuned 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:25.759 as we talk about online dating, heavy filters, and being 0:00:25.760 --> 0:00:31.400 tricked online. 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:33.920 Where's Your Head at is a podcast that talks all 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:39.320 things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between. 0:00:39.560 --> 0:00:42.280 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:44.640 intimate details, advice, and much more. 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:52.440 Good morning, Matty, I know how are you going today? 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:56.880 I'm going really good. I was up so late last 0:00:56.960 --> 0:01:01.440 night because I am absolutely addicted to this new Netflix series. 0:01:01.480 --> 0:01:03.560 It's called The Girlfriend Who Didn't Exist? 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:04.280 Have you heard of it? 0:01:04.680 --> 0:01:07.440 I actually flicked past that a couple of days ago 0:01:07.440 --> 0:01:09.440 when I was trying to find something to watch on Netflix. 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.640 I didn't click on it. I think I settled for 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:12.160 some sort. 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:16.240 Of horror ME highly recommend, like, definitely go watch it. 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:19.520 If you're listening, go check it out. It was so 0:01:19.680 --> 0:01:22.640 interesting to me. I just like had to finish it 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:25.480 last night. Like me and Michael, we were fully hooked. 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:27.600 So I love that when you find a show that, yeah, 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:29.679 when you're watching it, well, what's it about. 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:33.920 It's about this guy called Mantaiiteo. He's a college football star. 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:39.560 He's absolutely loved and he has this amazing girlfriend who 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.039 he's obsessed with, but he's never met her, and not 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:44.160 no one knows that he hasn't met her. And it 0:01:44.200 --> 0:01:47.840 turns out he's actually been catfish and it takes a 0:01:47.880 --> 0:01:51.640 really dark turn and everyone turns on him, like all 0:01:51.680 --> 0:01:53.720 of the football fans turn on him, and it was 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.360 really sad and super interesting to see. 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:58.240 Because I watching it, I was. 0:01:58.160 --> 0:02:00.680 Just thinking, like, if he was a girl, I feel 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:03.360 like you wouldn't have got this level of backlash. So 0:02:03.640 --> 0:02:06.200 it's a really interesting watch. Give it a whirl. 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:08.680 I'm definitely going to put it on my watch list. 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.440 We're watching Yellow Jackets at the moment, so after that, 0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:14.720 Jen and I will watch that. I'm interested to see 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:17.720 what it's like. But speaking about getting catfished and all that, 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:21.520 that triggered a memory that I had actually, so you 0:02:21.560 --> 0:02:23.520 know how I've been well, you know how I was 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:26.880 talking to Jen for like six years. Yeah Instagram, we're 0:02:26.919 --> 0:02:28.320 on and off chatting. 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:30.200 But you never met. You just followed each other. 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:32.919 Yeah, yeah, we just followed each other. Actually, funnily enough, 0:02:33.000 --> 0:02:34.840 we say how we did not cross paths. There was 0:02:34.840 --> 0:02:36.440 a lot of times that we would have and I'm 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:40.120 sure we did but didn't know. So weird, so weird. 0:02:40.200 --> 0:02:42.880 But after all that, we finally arranged to meet up 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.200 with each other. And it's funny, you say, it's because 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:47.560 we actually we had our one year of meeting each 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:50.440 other a couple while back now, and we went back 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:52.079 to the same spot and we did the exact same 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.359 thing we did. We went and got app roles and 0:02:54.400 --> 0:02:58.080 walked around the botanical gardens. Again. Yeah, it just had 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:01.080 like a cute moment together. But I remember when I 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:03.880 was walking up to her and to get the drinks. 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:06.359 So you know, the usual thing where the girl or 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:09.239 the guy sends her the number, you've got their phone number, 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:11.400 you're calling them, you're trying to see where there are 0:03:11.520 --> 0:03:12.880 there's heaps of people arend. 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:13.440 I hate that moment. 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:17.320 It's so awkward, like uncomfortable, like the thirty seconds before 0:03:17.360 --> 0:03:19.919 you actually become face to like come face to face, 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:21.000 it's so awkward. 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:22.880 And I've got the better one when you actually spot 0:03:22.919 --> 0:03:24.639 them from a distance and you're walking over to each 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:26.160 other and you have to just act like, you know, 0:03:26.480 --> 0:03:29.440 like you're comfortable walking and you're like like every step 0:03:29.480 --> 0:03:31.359 and it's really awkward. You look at the look at them. 0:03:32.440 --> 0:03:33.480 Don't make your cringe. 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:35.080 Yeah, making you cringe so bad. 0:03:35.240 --> 0:03:37.240 But when I called her and she's like, I'm outside 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:40.680 of onot near the training and I'm like, okay, I'm 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:43.120 walking over now. I'm like, ol, do you want me 0:03:43.120 --> 0:03:44.400 to pick up drinks? We're just chatting on the phone. 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:45.680 Do you want to pick up drinks? Like, no way, 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:49.280 we'll get them together, blah blah. And I'm looking and 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:51.520 there's a girl in front of me on the phone 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:53.640 and I was like, oh. 0:03:53.520 --> 0:03:55.520 No, he looks totally different. 0:03:55.560 --> 0:03:59.240 It's completely different. So it's the saying but not Jen 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:03.040 And like like from a distance, it could have been her, 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:04.280 you know what I mean, But it wasn't. 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:05.960 It was just because she was brunette. 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:09.600 Yeah, that was the only thing really, But without standing 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:11.760 shallow or anything, it just didn't It just wasn't what 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:14.520 I thought. She portrayed it through her Instagram portrayed herself 0:04:15.080 --> 0:04:18.040 betrayed herself as So I'm walking over and I'm like, 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:21.279 oh no, I'm like, look, i'm too far here, you 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:23.600 know me. I'm like, I'm not the mean person. I'll 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.480 go catch up with her. But then as I'm walking closer, 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:28.800 the girl like steps to the side and I see 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:31.360 past her and Jen sitting there on her phone, a 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.960 little angel yea, all these glowing lights on her, and 0:04:35.000 --> 0:04:36.920 I'm like, oh, there she is. So I walked over 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:40.040 and we The rest is history, as they say we are. 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:43.400 So you thought you got catfish by Jen for like 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:47.880 that thirty seconds, that awkward thirty seconds before you actually. 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:50.599 Meet and I was like, fuck if I've been catfish here? 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:53.040 But fair enough it was Jen, and we had that 0:04:53.080 --> 0:04:56.279 magical date that we now know that wrote my life 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:57.440 and changed my history forever. 0:04:57.640 --> 0:04:58.320 Magical date. 0:04:58.360 --> 0:05:03.800 Care Well, look, speaking of catfishing, let's jump into our 0:05:03.839 --> 0:05:10.640 episode today. 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:11.480 Okay, And so for everyone listening and doesn't know what 0:05:11.520 --> 0:05:13.359 a catfish is, do you want to tell them what 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:13.640 it is? 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:14.120 Yeah? 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:17.560 So, basically, catfishing is the act of creating a false 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:22.200 identity in order to lure people into an online relationship. 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:25.919 So normally they steal a photo or an identity of 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:28.920 someone who is more attractive or who they would perceive 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.680 is more attractive than they are, and then use their 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:35.599 photos to deceive people. So basically, I don't know if 0:05:35.640 --> 0:05:38.719 you've seen the show Catfish, but Niche Shulman in twenty 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:42.279 ten actually made a documentary called Catfish because he was 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:45.680 catfish online and he coined the term. 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:48.719 I actually love the show Catfish. I watch it a 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:49.360 lot day. 0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:50.560 How good is it? 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:52.560 It's very good, And some of the things that you 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:57.040 see on there are absolutely wild. Yeah, I've shook sometimes 0:05:57.040 --> 0:05:58.880 at some of the stuff that you see people. The 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:02.440 lengths that people have to go to sometimes is extraordinary. 0:06:02.520 --> 0:06:04.840 And then it's own Like, I mean, they're doing the 0:06:04.880 --> 0:06:07.160 wrong thing, but the effort they put in, if they 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:09.200 put it into something else be successful. 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:11.160 They could be doing like a full business. 0:06:11.240 --> 0:06:14.880 Yeah, I've seen episodes of that show where these are 0:06:14.920 --> 0:06:17.800 the ones that really shake me. So these like I 0:06:17.800 --> 0:06:20.400 remember there was this one episode where this girl's talking 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:23.360 to this guy online and like she ends up talking 0:06:23.360 --> 0:06:26.200 to him for like three years and it ends up 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:29.120 being her ex who wants to get her back, and 0:06:29.120 --> 0:06:31.799 she thinks it's like this new guy, she's been talking 0:06:31.800 --> 0:06:35.560 to him, like literally wasting years of her life talking 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:38.000 to this guy, and the whole time she's still talking 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:38.599 to her ex. 0:06:38.960 --> 0:06:41.159 I'm like, how could you do that to someone? 0:06:41.279 --> 0:06:43.280 It's actually a bold move by that guy to get 0:06:43.320 --> 0:06:44.320 his girlfriend backed. 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.359 That's never gonna happen, Like you're not getting her back, mate, 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:53.560 Like she doesn't want you. 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:54.960 If she did, she be with you. 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:58.479 The best on Catfish, I reckon is so funny is 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:00.679 where they like do the whole revere on their reveal 0:07:00.720 --> 0:07:02.680 that's not who they think it is, and then they 0:07:02.720 --> 0:07:04.840 still go like, well do you want to like do 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:09.840 you still want to be together? And no, feel like 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:11.880 I'm still me, Like you're still talking to me, but 0:07:12.000 --> 0:07:15.760 like yeah, it's just complete deceit and lie yeah, like yeah. 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:17.600 We get it, like you're still talking to that person. 0:07:17.640 --> 0:07:19.240 But at the end of the day, like you've built 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.520 a whole relationship on the biggest liball, which is who 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:25.360 you are, So like, no, it's not going to work out. 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:26.240 Sorry, see later. 0:07:26.480 --> 0:07:29.200 Next Well, have you been catfish Donna by anyone? 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:32.600 Oh? Like mildly catfish where I feel like there's been 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:36.560 a couple of heavy filters put on, but I actually 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:44.880 have a catfishing story and I was the catfish. 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:48.320 Oh this is hilarious. Please tell everyone about this. This 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:50.600 is absolutely hilarious. Guys, You've got to hear this. 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:55.200 I actually like it's so embarrassing, but like it's the truth, 0:07:55.360 --> 0:07:56.040 and like, you know. 0:07:56.280 --> 0:07:59.280 First of all, why would Ana macavoid pretend to be 0:07:59.360 --> 0:08:03.640 someone out? Please explain why, because it's hilarious. 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:09.000 So basically, me and Josh, my ex boyfriend, had just 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:09.880 broken up, so. 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:13.120 It's recent as well. It's like some young ages. 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:20.800 I wasn't like nineteen, I was twenty nine. So basically 0:08:21.120 --> 0:08:25.520 Josh and I, my ex boyfriend, had broken up. We 0:08:25.760 --> 0:08:30.440 had obviously won a very popular TV show in Australia together. 0:08:32.000 --> 0:08:38.320 So I coming out of that relationship felt like I 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:42.640 wanted to join some dating apps naturally, but I didn't 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:45.520 want people to know that it was me because we 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:48.160 had only been broken up for two weeks. So I 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:49.880 kind of wanted to just like go on the dating 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:53.080 apps to see what was out there and be able 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.880 to like remind myself of all the beautiful men there 0:08:56.000 --> 0:08:58.760 was in the world to make myself feel better through 0:08:58.760 --> 0:08:59.520 my heartbreak. 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:03.120 And so. 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:08.760 I saw this picture of someone who I followed on Instagram, 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:11.360 was like a really far away picture, like hard to 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:16.680 really recognize the person. I screenshot in it and used 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:18.079 that as my profile picture. 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:19.600 What name did you go with? 0:09:19.960 --> 0:09:21.440 I think I went with Bear. 0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:30.640 Oh it sounds so fake. 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:34.880 So anyway, I had my fake profile set up just 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.560 the one photo, just the one photo, so it didn't 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:40.559 even look real, like I wasn't trying that hard and 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:41.520 I'm not wrong. 0:09:41.760 --> 0:09:43.080 It was a photo of a girl in like a 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:44.800 like a field of daisies. 0:09:45.000 --> 0:09:45.560 No, it was. 0:09:45.640 --> 0:09:47.680 It was like at a beach, but they were like 0:09:47.880 --> 0:09:50.800 very far away, so you can see mainly ocean and 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:53.480 then like a small like little stick figure and in 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:54.199 the distance. 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:58.320 So fake. If did you get any matches before, we've no, 0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:05.000 there is no one of their swipes for that no way. 0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:09.360 So this was on the app Bumble, So basically for 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:12.400 about three days I was kind of like, oh, kick guy, 0:10:12.600 --> 0:10:14.560 Like what way do you swipe left? Right? 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:15.720 Left? For yes? 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:19.120 No, right is yet right? Right? 0:10:19.120 --> 0:10:22.840 Okay, okay, so I'm like swiping right for people I'm like, yeah, 0:10:22.920 --> 0:10:26.480 hot hot. I was like, okay, like not to worry, Anna, 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:29.040 like there are other men out there on the planet. 0:10:29.600 --> 0:10:34.200 And in your area, in my area close by, and 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:37.160 you know, like it was making me feel better about 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:43.160 the breakup. Anyway, on the fourth day, my account with 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:46.080 my mobile number which I haven't changed since, and my 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:52.600 email was blocked. Someone had reported me as a catfish. 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:56.560 And since that moment, I've never been allowed back on Bumble, 0:10:56.679 --> 0:11:00.200 like I've been banned. And then like I remember like 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.640 when I was ready to like start dating, and like 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:05.319 was kind of like, okay, if people see my face 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:06.920 on dating apps, like I don't care anymore. 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:08.040 I think it was like two months later. 0:11:08.760 --> 0:11:10.880 Yeah, I tried to get back onto Bumbler as myself, 0:11:10.920 --> 0:11:12.960 and they just weren't having a bar of me. 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.680 I was just like did you not message them or 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:18.560 email them off your account and say, hey, my numbers blocked. 0:11:18.880 --> 0:11:20.800 I'm ready to get back in there, let me on. 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.679 I tried, but I'm just fully blocked. Like there's nothing 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:25.520 you can do once you're blocked. 0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.960 On a dating app, like you don't want to go there, 0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:29.960 like it's really hard. So then obviously I had to 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.440 move to the other dating apps, which was like Hinge 0:11:32.640 --> 0:11:33.800 and Tinder. 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:38.959 But then the story continues just when you think it's over. 0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.920 So I remember, like I think it was like six 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:46.680 months later, my manager messaged me and she was like, hey, 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:48.280 Bumble wants to work with you. 0:11:48.960 --> 0:11:51.079 So the dating app Bumble wants to. 0:11:51.040 --> 0:11:54.040 Work with you, Like they think you're great, they know 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:56.880 that you're like out there dating again, and they just 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:58.880 kind of like want you to promote like this part 0:11:58.960 --> 0:11:59.680 of their app. 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:01.000 And I'll like, yes, sweet cool. 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:07.199 Literally didn't even think of what had happened anyway. Then 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:11.120 I redownload loaded it realized that I had been blocked 0:12:11.120 --> 0:12:13.480 still and was like fuck, So I had to tell 0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:17.280 my manager this story, Like it was so long that 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:18.800 I had to voice note her and I was like, 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:24.080 so it was awkward, but and then she like literally 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.439 sent me a voice note laughing, being like, oh my god, Anna, 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:30.559 only you would do this. This is so wild. So 0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:33.560 she's like, I'm gonna have to tell Bumble what happened. 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:38.480 Crickets didn't hear back from them. They were like, we 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:43.079 don't want a catfish to promote our apps. See you later. 0:12:44.880 --> 0:12:47.840 Funny because at the time your ex Josh and myself 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.080 actually were on dating apps and then everyone was like 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:53.079 posting them yeah articles, So it's pretty smart that you 0:12:53.160 --> 0:12:56.960 actually did that. Because relationships used our own self and 0:12:57.000 --> 0:12:57.520 posted it. 0:12:57.559 --> 0:13:00.480 And yeah, there was articles being like, oh, I can't 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:04.760 believe they're in dating apps so soon, and I was like, sorry. 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:05.800 But Beth is over here doing a thing. 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:09.040 A little old bed in the house in the distance, 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:10.480 look like the thing is is. 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:14.560 I wasn't actually going on there as a catfish to 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:17.800 like trick people. I just wanted to like remind myself 0:13:17.840 --> 0:13:20.200 that there was other guys out there that I wasn't 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:23.200 going to die of heartbreak, and like, you know, it's 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:27.800 good to move on. So anyway, I'm a catfish. I 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:31.040 hold my hands up. I did it once, I got 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.720 banned from a dating app, and I promised to never 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:35.800 do it again. 0:13:36.440 --> 0:13:36.640 Hard. 0:13:36.720 --> 0:13:38.280 So what's the lesson here for everyone? 0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:42.000 Just yourself. 0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:45.120 If you're breaking up with someone, don't be afraid for 0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:48.000 people to see you on the apps too soon? Oh? 0:13:48.080 --> 0:13:51.880 Actually, do I agree with that? I don't know. I 0:13:51.880 --> 0:13:53.680 don't know, Like, okay, that's a good question. 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:56.880 Like when is it too soon after a breakup to 0:13:56.920 --> 0:13:58.440 be seen on a dating app? 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.680 Depends on the sotance the breakup. If like they cheated 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:04.520 on you, they broke up with you, your heart broken? 0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:09.080 I reckon jump straight on. But if like it was, no, 0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:11.240 it's too hard, isn't it, Because then it's. 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:13.600 Hard because then it's like kind of like showing that 0:14:13.640 --> 0:14:15.360 you have a lack of respect for that person. If 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:18.400 you're like jumping straight on like two months in, I reckon, 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.760 is fine anything earlier than that and people see you, 0:14:21.880 --> 0:14:22.960 which they will. 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:24.840 I reckon. It goes to like dating in general, when 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:27.320 is too soon to move on, then like be seen 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:28.480 visually moving on. 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:31.280 Well, like I think that when you're in a relationship, 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:35.280 like officially boyfriend and girlfriend with someone, I think two months, 0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:37.120 you think two months, I think two months, And I 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:40.400 think if you are like jumping on the dating apps earlier, 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:42.600 then it's seen as disrespectful. 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:45.120 So like, look, what would you. 0:14:45.120 --> 0:14:46.760 Say to someone that says they need to get with 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.960 other people to move on. That's their version of moving on. 0:14:50.000 --> 0:14:53.760 Head out to the club, baby. 0:14:52.960 --> 0:14:55.560 Okay, Well, I guess like just be respectful in that 0:14:55.640 --> 0:14:58.440 way and clear to like that it gets back to 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.160 your partner that that's how you're moving on. 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.440 Yeah, the worst thing when you break up with someone 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:07.360 is hearing that they've moved on really quickly. I'm like, look, 0:15:07.440 --> 0:15:09.760 we're all gonna do it when my heartbroken. We like, 0:15:09.960 --> 0:15:12.200 you know, we want to get under us to get over, 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:18.280 as we always say. Okay, Matt, I just admitted to 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.920 you that I was a catfish for three days before 0:15:20.960 --> 0:15:24.480 I got blocked from a dating app. But why do 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:28.280 people generally catfish? Because I feel like my reason was 0:15:28.360 --> 0:15:29.600 kind of a unique one. 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.520 Okay, So I think the main reason would be poor 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.560 self esteem. Yeah, they don't have enough confidence in themselves 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:37.320 and who they are as a person. Maybe the way 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:40.320 they look, maybe the way they come across and talking, 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.080 so they have to hide behind a mask to be 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:44.520 someone and be more themselves. 0:15:44.680 --> 0:15:46.560 Yeah, And like a lot of the time I reckon 0:15:46.640 --> 0:15:50.400 like someone who is a catfish can be way more introverted, 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.640 So they're not confident in meeting people. And so I 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:56.600 feel like maybe, yeah, as you said, they don't feel 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:58.880 good enough, so they think that they need to be 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:01.520 someone else in order to be loved or liked, And 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:03.280 I think that's really heartbreaking. 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:06.240 Yeah, that is they're almost playing a character to someone 0:16:06.240 --> 0:16:07.800 and that's where they feel more comfortable. 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:08.360 Yeah. 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:12.520 Another reason why people catfish is actually revenge. We touched 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:15.360 on it before. I saw an episode of Catfish and 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:18.600 it was an ex boyfriend who was dumped and he 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:22.360 you know, was really heartbroken, and instead of letting his 0:16:22.720 --> 0:16:24.560 ex move on, he was like. 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.800 No, I'm going to be the guy who you've always wanted, 0:16:27.840 --> 0:16:28.560 and he knows. 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:32.720 The sick thing about this is when you're someone's ex, 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.880 you know exactly what they want and the fact that 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:39.760 he was able to give her that as someone else, 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:41.000 that's pretty shit. 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:44.040 Okay. So the other reason is to explore their sexuality. 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:47.360 So they might come from a conservative family, or they 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:49.800 might have a partner and they want to see what's 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:52.600 out there and really what they're inner feelings are feeling. 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:55.720 Yeah, sometimes people aren't like out of the closet yet 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:59.360 and they're kind of like wanting to experiment to kind 0:16:59.440 --> 0:17:04.400 of find themselves in a way without fully outing themselves. 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:07.000 And alerting their friends and family. Yeah, okay. Is it 0:17:07.040 --> 0:17:10.159 catfishing or false advertising to use a heavy filter and 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:11.879 editing your photos. 0:17:11.720 --> 0:17:15.200 Well, look, a catfish is usually a completely different person, 0:17:15.400 --> 0:17:20.040 So that's very specific to people who are misleading or 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:24.240 being deceptive towards people, whereas false advertising is just when 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:28.480 you're altering your own appearance using heavy filters and then 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.240 obviously putting them on a dating profile, and you know, 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:33.359 someone might be thinking they're getting a ten out of 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:35.040 ten and it could be a six out of ten. 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:39.080 But that's the fun of dating, right, Like it's kind 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:40.240 of like a pick and mix. 0:17:40.280 --> 0:17:41.440 You don't know what you're going to get. 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:43.760 Yeah, especially in this day and age, when you're coming 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:46.119 across like photos on social media, in that you're not 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:48.359 actually meeting them out and then you're meeting them, it 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:49.960 is like you don't know what you're going to get 0:17:49.960 --> 0:17:50.280 when you. 0:17:50.200 --> 0:17:53.880 Get like I want to come in like in defense 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:57.520 of people who are seen to be false advertising. I 0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:59.800 feel like we live in this age where social media 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:03.560 is so heavily filtered. And yes, there are like specific 0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:06.000 areas of it that are getting better, but like the 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:09.280 majority of people on social media have a lot of 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:12.560 work done. They're using heavy filters, and I feel like 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:16.080 as a single person, when you're putting yourself out there 0:18:16.080 --> 0:18:18.639 on a dating app, you must feel a lot of 0:18:18.680 --> 0:18:22.440 pressure because guys see this array of women on social 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:26.439 media that look perfect, like perfect bums with a BBL, 0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:32.919 perfect boobs, perfect noses, perfect everything. Everything is sculpted to precision, 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:36.840 and I think like people must feel like, shit, if 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:39.040 I want to get a date on this dating app, 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:41.560 I'm gonna have to use a few filters. I'm gonna 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.840 have to try and entice people in. But the thing 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:47.879 about dating apps is it's like a visual thing. So 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:51.600 like you have to like entireome with your photo. 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:53.440 Put your best foot forward, put your best. 0:18:53.240 --> 0:18:56.600 Foot forward, and then you kind of like charm them 0:18:56.680 --> 0:18:59.439 with your chat. But that secondary, like you have to 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:03.040 first try and like get their attention because they're like, look, 0:19:03.359 --> 0:19:06.040 I'm one in like two hundred girls that this guy's 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:09.240 gonna swipe through today. I want to like stand out 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:11.240 from the rest. How am I gonna do that? 0:19:11.440 --> 0:19:13.639 I get that. And I'm just saying though that, like 0:19:14.080 --> 0:19:16.800 be confident in yourself. What you have might not be 0:19:17.480 --> 0:19:19.680 what one guy likes, but I can bet you that, 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:21.840