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Speaker 1: Approche production.

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Speaker 2: John Jasper Jensen was a six foot three gentle giant.

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Speaker 2: He emigrated from Denmark as a seventeen year old, straight

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Speaker 2: off the boat to Scarborough in Western Australia. He was

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Speaker 2: a loving father to his two precious daughters, to his grandkids,

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Speaker 2: a keen golfer, a great mate, and an adoring husband.

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Speaker 2: Then on one morning in June twenty seventeen, he opened

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Speaker 2: his garage door and drove his car an hour and

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Speaker 2: seventeen minutes away and disappeared forever? Or did he?

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Speaker 1: He was and goofy dad?

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Speaker 3: You know he did all these little funny jokes and

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Speaker 3: there's a little kid.

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Speaker 1: I thought they were hilarious.

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Speaker 4: Linda Willeman and her husband Darren dropped her father John

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Speaker 4: Jensen home on Sunday after a family lunch. They say

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Speaker 4: he was in good spirits. Got sixty eight year old

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Speaker 4: has disappeared without a trace.

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Speaker 3: At no time as he indicated suicidal tendencies.

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Speaker 1: That fall has never sat long with me, I'll be honest. Well.

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Speaker 2: The discovery of John Jensen's car outside the Lancelon Beach

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Speaker 2: Hotel is a big breakthrough in the police search for

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Speaker 2: the missing Ocean reef grandfather look.

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Speaker 3: He did have a bit of depression. And I put

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Speaker 3: the light on and then I just saw blood. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: all these blood footprints pretty much wanted. It was very

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Speaker 3: in your face then, and there was there's quite a

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Speaker 3: lot of blood.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, what the hell has happened here?

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Speaker 1: And I yelled out and I think he was murdered. No,

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Speaker 1: I hand on my heart.

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Speaker 3: I believe he was murd it because this is my dad,

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Speaker 3: this is my story, this is what happened.

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Speaker 2: I first heard about the case of a missing man,

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Speaker 2: John Jessper Jensen on a Facebook page that deals with

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Speaker 2: long term missing persons. It's called Leave a Light On.

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Speaker 2: I was interested in his story as Jesper went missing

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Speaker 2: in the same beachside town that I grew up in.

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Speaker 2: The town is Lancelain on the West coast of Australia.

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Speaker 2: It's a crayfishing town that's famous for strong whims, a

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Speaker 2: big surf break, and a relaxed and laid back vibe.

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Speaker 2: The story of Jessper's disappearance and the termoil it creates

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Speaker 2: inside one family is heartbreaking. John had two daughters. His

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Speaker 2: youngest is Belinda or Bell. I connected with Belle on

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Speaker 2: Facebook and she was nervous about talking with me as

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Speaker 2: a dad's disappearance has caused a great amount of stress

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Speaker 2: and anxiety on her family since twenty seventeen.

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Speaker 3: My dad was born in Lembig in Denmark back in

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Speaker 3: nineteen forty eight, and he was one of three children.

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Speaker 3: He had an older brother and he had a younger sister.

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Speaker 3: He decided to go into the army at about at

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Speaker 3: the age of seventeen, and then after that an opportunity

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Speaker 3: to come up to jump on a boat and go

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Speaker 3: to Australia, and for him that was a great opportunity

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Speaker 3: to start fresh and.

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Speaker 1: He basically ended up in Perth. Had no idea which

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Speaker 1: suburb he was going.

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Speaker 3: To end up in, and yeah, randomly just put his

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Speaker 3: finger on a map and ended up in Scarborough, which

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Speaker 3: is just one of the coastal suburbs.

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Speaker 2: And so did he come over by himself on that

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Speaker 2: boat or was he with family? He was by himself

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Speaker 2: at seventeen. That's a big massive decision to make, isn't it?

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Speaker 2: It is? It is? Yeah, did that sort of follow

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Speaker 2: him through his life? Was he was he always that

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Speaker 2: sort of guy that would make those sorts of decisions

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Speaker 2: and go you know, what I'm going to go and

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Speaker 2: travel to the rest of the other side of the

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Speaker 2: world by boat.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, Yeah.

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Speaker 5: He was a strong man, determined to make a good

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Speaker 5: life for himself and that's the way he thought. We

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Speaker 5: didn't do it so and that's the way he sort

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Speaker 5: of lived his life. And he was a very strong,

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Speaker 5: determined man.

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Speaker 2: So that other voice you hear is Darren Bell's husband.

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Speaker 2: Darren's been Bell's rock since her dad disappeared. Not only

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Speaker 2: has he been there to help her through this difficult time,

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Speaker 2: but they've forged an even stronger bond. In the search

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Speaker 2: for answers about Belle's dad, Belle remembers the stories her

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Speaker 2: mum and dad told the girls of how they first

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Speaker 2: met in Perth.

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Speaker 3: Again when he ended up randomly selecting Scarborough. That was

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Speaker 3: the cyburb that he ran into my mum and you know,

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Speaker 3: they instantly fell in love. She was this little pint

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Speaker 3: sized pocket rocket and she's you know, referred to as

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Speaker 3: as Gidget pretty much because she's a little surfer chick.

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Speaker 3: And you know there's this Dane that sort of my

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Speaker 3: mum meets and falls madly in love with him, you know,

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Speaker 3: tall six or three blonde blue eyes. You know, very

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Speaker 3: quickly they just fell in love and yeah, got married

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Speaker 3: and the rest of the rest is history from there.

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Speaker 2: And so that that's I guess the image of you know,

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Speaker 2: a multicultural young Australia where you've got a you know,

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Speaker 2: a Dane coming over, big tall, good looking gentleman and

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Speaker 2: and your mum and Ozzie living in Perth, she meets.

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Speaker 2: All he was really missing was the surfboard.

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Speaker 1: Right, that's exactly right, that's exactly right.

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Speaker 3: But that's actually quite funny you mentioned that because I

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Speaker 3: remember going through photos and his mum's a big surfer

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Speaker 3: and you know, looking at all the photos from the

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Speaker 3: early days and because mum was just so in awe

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Speaker 3: of him. Ninety percent of the photos were of my

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Speaker 3: dad and you know, no shirt on and tan and

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Speaker 3: you know there's a photo of you know, holding her

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Speaker 3: surfboard all proud.

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Speaker 2: And so how many kids did they have?

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Speaker 3: They got married in November nineteen seventy seven and they

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Speaker 3: had their eldest, their first child, in nineteen seventy nine,

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Speaker 3: so didn't didn't wait too long.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: My dad's dingo was his first baby. He had a

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Speaker 3: dingo called Luke and that was his first first baby.

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Speaker 3: But then when we came along, yeah, we were his world,

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Speaker 3: you know. And then I came on thirteen months later,

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Speaker 3: so they didn't muck around.

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Speaker 2: How close to your sister were.

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Speaker 1: Oh, in the early days, we were really close.

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Speaker 2: I guess she was your big sister, so went to

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Speaker 2: school together. What sort of things would you do together

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Speaker 2: as a big sister?

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Speaker 1: All of it?

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Speaker 2: This obviously parts hard for you to talk about about

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Speaker 2: your sister right now.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, the memories from when we were younger, they're fantastic.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, obviously over time our relationship has beencome strained,

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Speaker 3: so it is a bit difficult to talk about now. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: but yeah, I think with everything, I'll be honest. Since

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Speaker 3: everything else has happened, I've sort of put a lot

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Speaker 3: of those memories sort of behind me. It's very difficult

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Speaker 3: to sort of try and bring those memories back in

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Speaker 3: after what's happened.

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Speaker 2: It's difficult for Belle to talk about her relationship with

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Speaker 2: her sister, as she said, it's been strained since the

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Speaker 2: disappearance of their dad. In fact, across this podcast, we

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Speaker 2: won't mention her sister's name, and I want to create

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Speaker 2: more tension inside. What is a family that has been

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Speaker 2: torn apart. What we do want to do is try

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Speaker 2: to shine a light on John Jensen's disappearance, a light

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Speaker 2: that might find an answer for both of his daughters.

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Speaker 1: I was very close to both of my parents.

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Speaker 3: I was everyone who sales so much like my mum,

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Speaker 3: you know, in a way that you know, very similar personalities,

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Speaker 3: and you know, I was very very close to her,

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Speaker 3: but definitely connected to my dad's hit.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we did everything together.

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Speaker 3: We would go for walks and he just loved going

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Speaker 3: like when we lived over in Tazzy did a lot

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Speaker 3: of sort of bushwalking and we we went bought a

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Speaker 3: Nintendo finally when he finally caved and wes to love

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Speaker 3: sort of just.

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Speaker 1: Playing golf together and you know, on the game.

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Speaker 3: And he also played golf and he cut down a

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Speaker 3: little five iron for me, so I'd go around and

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Speaker 3: be his little caddy. And you know, I was never

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Speaker 3: a morning person, so but it, you know, was quickly

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Speaker 3: outweighed by just spending time with my dad, you know,

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Speaker 3: and he encouraged me to play piano and that was

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Speaker 3: a huge part of our you know, sort of time

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Speaker 3: together because he'd just spent hours hours listening to He

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Speaker 3: had a little workout machine, you know, in my piano

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Speaker 3: room and he'd do his you know, exercises and stuff

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Speaker 3: while I'm playing. And he took me to every lesson

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Speaker 3: and Rockles Denford's and I remember the first Rock Is

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Speaker 3: Dead we went to. I was so nervous, and I

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Speaker 3: learned a song called Walking in Memphis, and that song's

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Speaker 3: pretty special to me. And yeah, I ended up I

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Speaker 3: was the thirtieth person. I was the last person in

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Speaker 3: that particular Stpford and you know when they yeah, I

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Speaker 3: basically got highly highly commended on that. And Dad was

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Speaker 3: just like literally the proud of his dad on earth.

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Speaker 3: It was yeah, pretty special and spending those times was

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Speaker 3: just yeah, incredible, very special memories.

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Speaker 2: It's amazing how music can bring back memories. And something

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Speaker 2: like Walking in Memphis is one of those songs. And

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Speaker 2: so how do you feel now when you hear that song?

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Speaker 3: Oh, I've just breaked down into years when I hear

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Speaker 3: that good tearsn't bad good. You know, I could have been

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Speaker 3: walking around the shops. If it comes on, I'm gone.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, music does that.

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Speaker 3: I mean when it all happened, I music was helped

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Speaker 3: me greatly, you know, get through that period, you know,

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Speaker 3: so yeah, one day I'm going to take it up

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Speaker 3: again when all this is over, and hopefully it's still

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Speaker 3: be able to hear me one day.

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Speaker 6: You know.

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Speaker 2: Dealing with ambiguous loss is difficult for all of the

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Speaker 2: family in a missing person's case. It's made even more

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Speaker 2: difficult when those family members that are left behind no

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Speaker 2: longer speak. Bell remembers her dad and how he was

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Speaker 2: when she was little.

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Speaker 1: He was a goofy dad. You know.

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Speaker 3: He did all these little funny jokes and there's a

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Speaker 3: little kid.

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Speaker 1: I thought they were hilarious, you know.

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Speaker 3: Now I'm like, oh, you know, typical dad, you know,

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Speaker 3: you know, especially because he was starting to do it

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Speaker 3: to my son now, you know, because he was four

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Speaker 3: when he went missing.

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Speaker 1: He'd do the same sort of jokes.

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Speaker 3: You know, I'd yawn, he put his finger in my mouth.

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Speaker 1: And when we.

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Speaker 3: Lived in Kingsley, actually there was a stretch of road

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Speaker 3: and every time he just used to, you know, shake

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Speaker 3: shake the car so it basically looks like and he

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Speaker 3: just convinced me that no, just that part of road

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Speaker 3: goes wavery bindy, you know, And every time we drove there,

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Speaker 3: it was just not it was just hilarious. He never

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Speaker 3: forgot and he thought it was freaking hilarious. Little things

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Speaker 3: like that, you know. And we'd you know, have dessert

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Speaker 3: and we would get a two liter type of ice

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Speaker 3: cream and I'd start on one corner and he'd start

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Speaker 3: on the other, and we'd have like spoon fights and

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Speaker 3: stuff like that, and just just just silly little things

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Speaker 3: like that. But he was to everyone else who was

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Speaker 3: very quiet, you know. He was always seen in the

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Speaker 3: front line room, you know, sort of keeping to himself.

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Speaker 3: He was happy watching TV. He was happy reading.

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Speaker 1: He loved his books.

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Speaker 3: With the library all the time, read all the time.

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Speaker 3: But he was a very affectionate dad. Like in a

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Speaker 3: woodbo house. Every night I laid on I sat on

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Speaker 3: his lap, and he's reclined a chair and he just

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Speaker 3: tick on my back and we'd just talked, you know,

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Speaker 3: And that was every single night. And then and then

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Speaker 3: it'd be like, okay, it's time for bed now. So

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Speaker 3: I got lay in his bed and we just we

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Speaker 3: just chat. And then we had this thing where he

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Speaker 3: just you know, sort of sticking me on the head

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Speaker 3: and it's like, okay, that was his sign of BINDI

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Speaker 3: I'm starting to go off to sleep now just in

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Speaker 3: case I don't out and see you sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, we did that pretty much every night.

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Speaker 3: She had an infectious smile and personality.

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Speaker 1: That lit up a room. You know. That was sort

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Speaker 1: of different, but they.

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Speaker 3: Balance each other out, you know, because Dad didn't have

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Speaker 3: to be the social one, because Mum was like this

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Speaker 3: little pocket rocket, you know, she entered a room and.

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Speaker 1: It just lit up. You know.

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Speaker 3: She was just the most kind, generous and just the

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Speaker 3: best mum in the world. And I've always just said,

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Speaker 3: if fucking behalf the mom she was, and I've done

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Speaker 3: done a good job because she yeah, very very very

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Speaker 3: beautiful woman.

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Speaker 2: Bell's husband Darren, has been by her side during this

247
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Speaker 2: terrible tragedy, not only just by her side, but in

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Speaker 2: her corner. Darren recalls the first encounter he had with

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Speaker 2: Jasper six foot three. Gentle giants he was.

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Speaker 5: He was a pretty big fella one one, but he

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Speaker 5: made me look small. He was built like the brick,

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Speaker 5: you know what. He had a big chest, and so

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Speaker 5: that was I suppose quite intimidating at first, being protective

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Speaker 5: of his daughter, But he was a gentle giant. He

255
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Speaker 5: really was in every way. He was quietly spoken, hard working,

256
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Speaker 5: just a real stand up, genuine guy. It was a

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Speaker 5: very typical dad, and I hope I will be the

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Speaker 5: same way when my daughter brings home someone like myself

259
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Speaker 5: or what if you know what I mean. I hope

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Speaker 5: I would put a bit of a hard word on

261
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Speaker 5: him and whatever else.

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Speaker 6: But he.

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Speaker 5: He was a very kind, caring person. And as I said,

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Speaker 5: the love for Blinda was very obvious. And I love

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Speaker 5: Belle very much, and I think that became obvious to him,

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Speaker 5: especially the time we went around to ask for a

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Speaker 5: hand in marriage. It very much became obvious because Belle

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Speaker 5: went away with a mum and a sister to Bali

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Speaker 5: and I thought, well, we've been going out for a

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Speaker 5: fair few years now, so now's the time. And I

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Speaker 5: thought this was the perfect time to actually go over

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Speaker 5: and just been able to speak to Jasper on his own.

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Speaker 5: So I knew he drunk VB, so I grab a

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Speaker 5: six pack of that and went around there and he

275
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Speaker 5: was there and he just looked at me like what

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Speaker 5: are you doing here sort of thing, and I do

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Speaker 5: you mind if we have a chat and went in

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Speaker 5: and I just said, like, I love your daughter very much,

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Speaker 5: and I want I asked for a hand in marriage,

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Speaker 5: and he did put the hard word on me. Are

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Speaker 5: you going to provide for her? And all these sort

282
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Speaker 5: of things, But it was a good conversation. It was

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Speaker 5: that we gained a lot of respect for each other.

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Speaker 5: At that time. It was very obvious that how much

285
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Speaker 5: he cared for Belle, and it was very obvious how

286
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Speaker 5: much I cared for Bell. And in that so in

287
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Speaker 5: that moment, we both realized that we were the two

288
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Speaker 5: men on this world that cared for Bell more than

289
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Speaker 5: anyone else. So I got permission. It was simple as that.

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Speaker 1: And.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we had a i'd say a strong bond since then.

292
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Speaker 5: It was oblation, she built on respect for each other

293
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Speaker 5: and our love for Bell, So yeah, it was. It

294
00:16:04,921 --> 00:16:06,481
Speaker 5: was a good thing. It was a very fond memory,

295
00:16:06,521 --> 00:16:09,401
Speaker 5: even though you think going around doing that is nerve wracking,

296
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Speaker 5: and it was at the time. I'm glad I did it,

297
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Speaker 5: And it's a day that I'll remember forever because it

298
00:16:17,321 --> 00:16:23,841
Speaker 5: was very obvious the love that he had for Bell.

299
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Speaker 2: Over the past few years, Bell has quit a job

300
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Speaker 2: to focus solely on a dad's disappearance and trying to

301
00:16:30,161 --> 00:16:32,961
Speaker 2: find an answer. She's not only a mum to her

302
00:16:33,041 --> 00:16:35,761
Speaker 2: kid's but she's become a bit of an investigator of

303
00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:40,041
Speaker 2: everything surrounding a dad's disappearance. In my few conversations with

304
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Speaker 2: Belle before we sat down to chat, she had sent

305
00:16:42,321 --> 00:16:45,441
Speaker 2: me lots of theories and suspicions on this case. We're

306
00:16:45,481 --> 00:16:48,201
Speaker 2: going to explore some of those later in an episode.

307
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:51,921
Speaker 2: Bella's also taken time out to spend time with her

308
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Speaker 2: own kids.

309
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Speaker 3: I think you put things into perspective when things like

310
00:16:55,801 --> 00:17:01,161
Speaker 3: this happen. Very quickly, I realized that things weren't tracking

311
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:05,481
Speaker 3: like I wanted them to in terms of investigation and everything.

312
00:17:05,561 --> 00:17:09,801
Speaker 3: So I made a decision pretty much by October that

313
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Speaker 3: I needed to just quit my job and I needed

314
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Speaker 3: to focus on my children, primarily make sure I could

315
00:17:16,921 --> 00:17:19,721
Speaker 3: protect them, and then.

316
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Speaker 1: What I call working on the case.

317
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Speaker 3: I just told them that mummy is just working from

318
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Speaker 3: home now, you know, And and that way I could

319
00:17:27,281 --> 00:17:29,201
Speaker 3: sort of talk about the case, you know, with Darren

320
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Speaker 3: without little years around, because I was sick.

321
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Speaker 1: Of going get out of this room.

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Speaker 3: You can't hear what I'm talking about, you know. You

323
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,761
Speaker 3: know you don't want to talk about horrible things like this,

324
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Speaker 3: you know, So to them. So yeah, anyway, so I'm

325
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Speaker 3: not working and I quit my job and just trying

326
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Speaker 3: to be a plugged in mum. And that's I've been

327
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Speaker 3: a blessing in disguise, you know. I think I've got

328
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Speaker 3: pretty well balanced, happy kids.

329
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Speaker 2: Tell me about your kids? How many of you got?

330
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Speaker 2: And what are their names?

331
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Speaker 3: Two beautiful children. A son that's just turned eight. I

332
00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:04,481
Speaker 3: swear he's like going on Thurday. No, he's the shift

333
00:18:04,481 --> 00:18:08,121
Speaker 3: this year is there and he's just yeah, grown up

334
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:10,600
Speaker 3: so much. And my dad would be like a mini me.

335
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:13,641
Speaker 3: He's a giant, giant child and got the big chest.

336
00:18:13,681 --> 00:18:15,720
Speaker 3: He's just going to be exactly like his granddad, you know.

337
00:18:16,481 --> 00:18:18,241
Speaker 3: And when he was younger, he had blonde hair and

338
00:18:18,281 --> 00:18:19,720
Speaker 3: my dad used to go, oh, you know, he's got

339
00:18:19,761 --> 00:18:23,001
Speaker 3: that naughtic look, and he was so proud. He was

340
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:26,160
Speaker 3: so proud. And and I've got a bit off. A

341
00:18:26,241 --> 00:18:32,480
Speaker 3: daughter she's five going on six. Her name's Chloe, and

342
00:18:32,561 --> 00:18:35,080
Speaker 3: again a beautiful little soul, you know, and direct ring

343
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Speaker 3: with my mom as well. As soon as I see

344
00:18:36,481 --> 00:18:39,360
Speaker 3: her smile, it's like I see my mom, I see

345
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Speaker 3: my mum in her, and yeah, they're.

346
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Speaker 1: Doing really well. They're smart there they'd like school.

347
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:51,001
Speaker 2: And there's a video that I saw on Facebook of

348
00:18:51,481 --> 00:18:55,281
Speaker 2: a young boy playing on the slide and that's I'm

349
00:18:55,321 --> 00:18:57,481
Speaker 2: guessing your boy my son.

350
00:18:57,721 --> 00:19:00,801
Speaker 3: Yes, Oh it was hard to watch, like it taught

351
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,281
Speaker 3: me a while to be able to watch it and

352
00:19:03,321 --> 00:19:05,640
Speaker 3: go through them, I'll be honest, especially listening to my

353
00:19:05,721 --> 00:19:07,001
Speaker 3: dad's voice and that as well.

354
00:19:08,721 --> 00:19:23,601
Speaker 6: You know that that's been hard.

355
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:24,281
Speaker 1: But we used to.

356
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,441
Speaker 3: I used to take in my back, you know, every weekend,

357
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:28,961
Speaker 3: you know, because back then I was still working and

358
00:19:29,041 --> 00:19:30,721
Speaker 3: everybody had a little park down the end.

359
00:19:30,681 --> 00:19:32,761
Speaker 1: Of the street, and you know, we do a little walk.

360
00:19:32,801 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 1: You know.

361
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 3: Dad would be like, you got to get your hat on,

362
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,761
Speaker 3: and I think there's even in one video clip or your.

363
00:19:37,481 --> 00:19:39,680
Speaker 1: Mom didn't bring your hat today and you need to

364
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:43,561
Speaker 1: wear your hat. I'm like, yeah, okay, yeah.

365
00:19:43,681 --> 00:19:46,400
Speaker 3: But just seeing them walking hand in hand, and it

366
00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:49,840
Speaker 3: was just something we did every weekend, every weekend, you know,

367
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,721
Speaker 3: and that was outside of you know, having him over

368
00:19:51,801 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 3: for dinner and just yeah, very very very fond memories.

369
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,680
Speaker 3: And I just remember, you know, even when he couldn't

370
00:19:59,681 --> 00:20:02,041
Speaker 3: really talk much, you'd be going more more and you know,

371
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,481
Speaker 3: Dad was like, you know, just.

372
00:20:03,481 --> 00:20:06,801
Speaker 1: Very involved, plug in loved it, loved it.

373
00:20:06,961 --> 00:20:09,001
Speaker 3: Did all those funny little jokes that used to me

374
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,121
Speaker 3: when I was a little kid just goes.

375
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:10,880
Speaker 1: I love this age.

376
00:20:10,921 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 3: But they believe everything you say and that Jordan just

377
00:20:16,201 --> 00:20:17,521
Speaker 3: thought he was hilarious.

378
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:19,561
Speaker 2: Does Jordan talk about him now?

379
00:20:20,241 --> 00:20:21,400
Speaker 1: He does? He does.

380
00:20:23,521 --> 00:20:28,920
Speaker 3: He's quite funny because when Dad was still around, you know,

381
00:20:29,201 --> 00:20:31,041
Speaker 3: Dad sort of taught him how to count to ten

382
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:35,281
Speaker 3: in Danish and it's something that you know, I sort

383
00:20:35,281 --> 00:20:36,961
Speaker 3: of continued on and every now and then I'll say

384
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:39,360
Speaker 3: it with him, but he'll just randomly come up to

385
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,521
Speaker 3: me and he'll just say it almost fluently. You know,

386
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,681
Speaker 3: he just he remembers that he's got he's got fond,

387
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:48,001
Speaker 3: fond memories. And obviously he was only four. So we've

388
00:20:48,041 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 3: talked about it at lost and you know, we've dedicated

389
00:20:51,041 --> 00:20:53,681
Speaker 3: to stuff that we talked to and when we talk

390
00:20:53,721 --> 00:21:00,281
Speaker 3: about Granddad and and Grammy and yeah, so there's an

391
00:21:00,321 --> 00:21:02,920
Speaker 3: element he knows. You know, I get sad, but I

392
00:21:02,961 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 3: think kids also need to see that human.

393
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:05,481
Speaker 1: Too, don't they.

394
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,321
Speaker 3: So occasionally I'll have a chat with him, like mummy's

395
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 3: a bit sad today, Mummy is missing Granddad.

396
00:21:11,321 --> 00:21:13,561
Speaker 1: And the kids are great.

397
00:21:13,561 --> 00:21:17,120
Speaker 3: They'll just give me a big hugn and you know.

398
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:19,120
Speaker 1: They bring you back down to reality. You know.

399
00:21:19,201 --> 00:21:22,241
Speaker 3: So my kids have had to grow up pretty quickly.

400
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:27,920
Speaker 3: But you know, I think you know it's it hasn't

401
00:21:27,921 --> 00:21:29,801
Speaker 3: affected them in a way. It just shows that, you know,

402
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:32,440
Speaker 3: we're all human and we get through these things. You know,

403
00:21:32,801 --> 00:21:35,001
Speaker 3: Mummy might be sad, but then she can because our

404
00:21:35,001 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 3: father and will be we'll be fine again.

405
00:21:37,201 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 2: So we've established that before June twenty seventeen, this was

406
00:21:41,481 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 2: a loving family with a mom and dad and two sisters.

407
00:21:45,201 --> 00:21:48,481
Speaker 2: For John and his wife, life seemed pretty good living

408
00:21:48,481 --> 00:21:52,161
Speaker 2: in the seaside suburb of Ocean Reef in Western Australia.

409
00:21:52,441 --> 00:21:57,321
Speaker 2: And then on February ten, two thousand, that all changed suddenly.

410
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,561
Speaker 3: Well that I remember, I was just getting ready for work.

411
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:05,561
Speaker 3: I remember the day obviously as clear as the responsible.

412
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,720
Speaker 3: Remember what I was working on at the time, and

413
00:22:07,801 --> 00:22:09,440
Speaker 3: I was actually waiting for a fencing company and we

414
00:22:09,441 --> 00:22:12,400
Speaker 3: had this big job up in Cartha, and I was

415
00:22:12,441 --> 00:22:14,881
Speaker 3: just getting ready for work and I got a call

416
00:22:14,921 --> 00:22:19,281
Speaker 3: from my sister. I'm saying that Mum had been missing

417
00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:24,561
Speaker 3: since the night before, and I just wonder what like

418
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,481
Speaker 3: instantly that didn't sit. Well.

419
00:22:26,481 --> 00:22:28,281
Speaker 1: I was like, that was wrong. What do you mean missing?

420
00:22:29,001 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 3: And they're like, well, they can't find her. You know,

421
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 3: he's been walking around the street. He doesn't know where

422
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 3: she's gone, and he's been calling around and there's not

423
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:37,561
Speaker 3: with any other neighbors.

424
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,521
Speaker 1: And it was totally out of character. My heart sunk.

425
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 3: My heart sunk immediately. And this was just after I

426
00:22:47,801 --> 00:22:51,241
Speaker 3: had actually taken a pregnancy test, so I actually just

427
00:22:51,281 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 3: found out that we were expecting our first baby. And

428
00:22:55,201 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 3: then I get this call, so my mom was I

429
00:22:59,201 --> 00:23:01,001
Speaker 3: didn't know what to think. You know, I jumped straight

430
00:23:01,041 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 3: in the car. I knew something was wrong, and even Darren,

431
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:08,201
Speaker 3: you know, he's like, this is not something's not right, right. Yeah,

432
00:23:08,561 --> 00:23:11,001
Speaker 3: And I'm driving around the streets of Ocean Reef. I

433
00:23:11,041 --> 00:23:12,880
Speaker 3: don't know what I was expecting. I'm looking up alleyways.

434
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 3: I don't know if she'd passed out or something, and

435
00:23:15,321 --> 00:23:16,881
Speaker 3: I don't know. I was just hoping to see her

436
00:23:17,801 --> 00:23:19,801
Speaker 3: somewhere there. But anyway, I drove around Ocean Reef and

437
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,160
Speaker 3: she wasn't there. And as soon as I got in

438
00:23:22,921 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 3: to see Dad, he was just in a state of

439
00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:27,680
Speaker 3: like you could tell he hadn't slept all night and

440
00:23:27,721 --> 00:23:30,201
Speaker 3: he's like, isn't he I don't know where she is,

441
00:23:32,001 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 3: and and I just said what happened?

442
00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: Like what happened? And he goes, well, we were.

443
00:23:37,801 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 3: Just we had an awesome roast dinner because I had

444
00:23:39,961 --> 00:23:42,201
Speaker 3: the chicken, you know, once a week.

445
00:23:42,281 --> 00:23:44,561
Speaker 1: And he goes, Mum was a happy ass, you know.

446
00:23:44,681 --> 00:23:47,521
Speaker 1: She finished dinner and she.

447
00:23:47,521 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 3: Was happy because I she did the dishes, so as

448
00:23:50,041 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 3: him dad, and so Dad did the dishes. And then

449
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,801
Speaker 3: he goes, she just went and jumped on the computer,

450
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,120
Speaker 3: which is what she normally did.

451
00:23:58,160 --> 00:23:59,241
Speaker 1: And then my heart just sunk.

452
00:23:59,281 --> 00:24:00,920
Speaker 3: And I was like, I just ran straight out in

453
00:24:01,001 --> 00:24:04,161
Speaker 3: the back room where the computer was, and then she was.

454
00:24:06,241 --> 00:24:10,120
Speaker 1: And I just remember yelling out and he came running.

455
00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 3: He goes, oh, this can't be good, and it can't

456
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,601
Speaker 3: be good. And the way she'd fallen down, I did

457
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,001
Speaker 3: the worst thing you could possibly do in that situation.

458
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,801
Speaker 3: And I tried to pull pull her back, and her

459
00:24:21,801 --> 00:24:23,680
Speaker 3: face was just black and black and blue because the

460
00:24:23,721 --> 00:24:26,561
Speaker 3: way she'd sort of fallen down, she'd been dead since

461
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,921
Speaker 3: the night before, so she'd obviously fallen off the computer

462
00:24:30,961 --> 00:24:34,041
Speaker 3: and fallen off the chair, and the way she'd fallen

463
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 3: down just Dad didn't see her. I mean, she was

464
00:24:36,281 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 3: just so little and she was just sort of tucked in,

465
00:24:39,441 --> 00:24:41,721
Speaker 3: tucked in there. And I shouldn't have done that because

466
00:24:41,721 --> 00:24:43,641
Speaker 3: as I pulled it back to her face as when

467
00:24:43,721 --> 00:24:45,801
Speaker 3: day came and he, you know, he saw that too,

468
00:24:47,001 --> 00:24:52,720
Speaker 3: and we're like, okay, I've got to call the ambulance.

469
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:58,281
Speaker 3: And I did that, and yeah, I sat in the

470
00:24:58,321 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 3: front land room and we waiting for them to come,

471
00:24:59,921 --> 00:25:03,281
Speaker 3: and you know, we knew, we knew she would gone

472
00:25:03,281 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 3: by that point.

473
00:25:05,481 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, my world changed out forever. You know.

474
00:25:11,801 --> 00:25:16,321
Speaker 3: That was, yeah, totally not expected because she's she'd just

475
00:25:16,321 --> 00:25:18,801
Speaker 3: come over to my house not not long earlier and

476
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,921
Speaker 3: was borrowing my computer because she actually had a pretty old,

477
00:25:20,961 --> 00:25:22,961
Speaker 3: crappy computer that only could play a couple of games

478
00:25:22,961 --> 00:25:25,600
Speaker 3: on it, like Marshong and Well have You, and she

479
00:25:25,681 --> 00:25:29,561
Speaker 3: wanted to pitch something out for her upcoming holiday, and

480
00:25:30,001 --> 00:25:31,521
Speaker 3: which I'm glad she did because that was the last

481
00:25:31,521 --> 00:25:33,321
Speaker 3: time I saw her. And then she got me kiss

482
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 3: on the head and I went home and she always

483
00:25:35,921 --> 00:25:37,881
Speaker 3: we always said love you to each other every time

484
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 3: we saw each other, so at least, you know, I

485
00:25:39,961 --> 00:25:44,241
Speaker 3: got that final love you. But yeah, our well changed.

486
00:25:44,481 --> 00:25:45,641
Speaker 3: Our world changed after that.

487
00:25:45,961 --> 00:25:48,160
Speaker 2: Was it a heart attack that she'd had?

488
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,801
Speaker 1: It was a heart attack, Yeah, and she.

489
00:25:50,801 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 2: Was otherwise helpy, she was.

490
00:25:53,001 --> 00:25:55,880
Speaker 3: I mean, she'd had this silly hoff or something that

491
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 3: I don't know what it was related to, apparently like

492
00:25:59,801 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 3: it was in a large heart or something.

493
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,201
Speaker 1: But the thing that's.

494
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 3: Never really I never really understood is and I only

495
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 3: found afterwards. Moment she used to work up at she

496
00:26:08,721 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 3: was a clerk up at Junlo Hospital, and apparently she

497
00:26:12,961 --> 00:26:15,721
Speaker 3: had had pains up her arm, and they'd even put

498
00:26:15,721 --> 00:26:20,041
Speaker 3: her on an ECG that day or around that time,

499
00:26:21,561 --> 00:26:22,961
Speaker 3: but nothing was actually picked up.

500
00:26:23,681 --> 00:26:24,921
Speaker 2: How did it affect your dad?

501
00:26:25,521 --> 00:26:25,681
Speaker 1: Oh?

502
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 3: Dad, like any normal human being, you know, he had

503
00:26:31,281 --> 00:26:33,121
Speaker 3: to deal with the shock, and he had to deal with,

504
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:37,001
Speaker 3: you know, the realization that the love of his life

505
00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 3: wasn't going to be there anymore, you know, but he

506
00:26:39,001 --> 00:26:42,400
Speaker 3: had his daughters and and you know, I made sure

507
00:26:42,441 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 3: that from that second that sort of happened, I was

508
00:26:46,201 --> 00:26:49,801
Speaker 3: around him, you know, almost twenty four to seven, and

509
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,401
Speaker 3: we got to got to grieve, We got to talk

510
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,360
Speaker 3: about memories, We got to you know, there was a

511
00:26:55,521 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 3: finality to it. We got to during because he got

512
00:27:00,001 --> 00:27:06,001
Speaker 3: that whole week where you're planning the funeral, and it's

513
00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,561
Speaker 3: a process that it's important to go through when you

514
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,360
Speaker 3: lose someone, and that's that's what I'm missing now, you know.

515
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 3: I still haven't been able to grief, you know. And

516
00:27:16,961 --> 00:27:18,481
Speaker 3: I knew for the funeral that I'd be the one

517
00:27:18,521 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 3: doing the eulogy. There was no if butts on maybes.

518
00:27:20,961 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 3: That was just going to be me, and I wanted

519
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 3: to do that. And that was one of the hardest

520
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:27,640
Speaker 3: things we've ever done, but also the most rewarding, you know.

521
00:27:27,681 --> 00:27:30,840
Speaker 1: I felt like, give my mom a respect that she deserves,

522
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:31,080
Speaker 1: you know.

523
00:27:31,201 --> 00:27:34,721
Speaker 3: And there was a huge turnout because obviously she was

524
00:27:34,761 --> 00:27:37,761
Speaker 3: a very loved, very loved woman, you know.

525
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:38,761
Speaker 1: And it was a shock.

526
00:27:38,801 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 3: I mean, even at the time, I didn't realize that

527
00:27:42,681 --> 00:27:44,521
Speaker 3: she'd actually had a wedding. She was supposed to go

528
00:27:44,561 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 3: to a wedding. This might have been the day after

529
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,681
Speaker 3: or something like that, I think. And I remember sitting

530
00:27:49,721 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 3: outside with Dad and then all of a sudden, her

531
00:27:51,561 --> 00:27:54,360
Speaker 3: friends rock up in a car, happy as you know,

532
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 3: they're getting all ready to go to a wedding and

533
00:27:56,281 --> 00:27:58,521
Speaker 3: to pick Mama, and I just looked at the moment,

534
00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:00,801
Speaker 3: it's the first time I had to deal with someone

535
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:04,961
Speaker 3: she's dead, and that just you felt horrible because they're

536
00:28:05,041 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 3: I had to go to a wedding and you know,

537
00:28:08,441 --> 00:28:11,321
Speaker 3: they didn't end up dealing the bride that day, obviously,

538
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 3: we Mum wasn't there, you know, but things like that,

539
00:28:15,281 --> 00:28:20,321
Speaker 3: you know, you don't think, yeah, you don't always think

540
00:28:20,481 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 3: straight in those sort of times.

541
00:28:23,561 --> 00:28:24,481
Speaker 1: But we had each other.

542
00:28:25,241 --> 00:28:28,361
Speaker 2: How was your dad's mental health after a month's passing.

543
00:28:28,961 --> 00:28:31,521
Speaker 1: He was fine. He was fine. I mean.

544
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,961
Speaker 3: He was actually supposed to go to South Africa pretty

545
00:28:36,001 --> 00:28:39,161
Speaker 3: much three weeks. I know, he was flying out on

546
00:28:39,241 --> 00:28:41,440
Speaker 3: Mum's birthday and Mom was so exciting because she was

547
00:28:41,481 --> 00:28:43,561
Speaker 3: going to have like this extended birthday, you know, flying

548
00:28:43,601 --> 00:28:47,001
Speaker 3: around and you know, it was a big thing. And

549
00:28:47,441 --> 00:28:49,721
Speaker 3: pretty much straight away it was like, no, you're going, Dad,

550
00:28:49,761 --> 00:28:51,521
Speaker 3: I'm not letting you not go to this holiday, you know,

551
00:28:51,561 --> 00:28:53,201
Speaker 3: And I said, I'm going to go with you.

552
00:28:54,401 --> 00:28:56,321
Speaker 1: The best thing I've ever ever done.

553
00:28:56,361 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 3: You know, I've got the most amazing memories and the

554
00:28:58,441 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 3: most amazing friendships from that particular holiday. And it was

555
00:29:01,721 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 3: so early that you know, I was the one that

556
00:29:04,041 --> 00:29:07,841
Speaker 3: was crying. He was consoling me. He was like my rock.

557
00:29:07,881 --> 00:29:08,841
Speaker 1: And yes he was sad.

558
00:29:09,481 --> 00:29:13,201
Speaker 3: He was sad, but you know, we we got through

559
00:29:13,201 --> 00:29:15,961
Speaker 3: it together and we were there for each other and

560
00:29:16,441 --> 00:29:19,561
Speaker 3: spent two solid weeks and I'm talking two solid.

561
00:29:19,201 --> 00:29:20,041
Speaker 1: Weeks with each other.

562
00:29:20,961 --> 00:29:23,361
Speaker 3: Was probably the best therapy anyone could ever ask for.

563
00:29:24,081 --> 00:29:26,280
Speaker 3: And now, thank god I've got all those photos. I mean,

564
00:29:26,321 --> 00:29:29,041
Speaker 3: you see him standing up on table mountain because we

565
00:29:29,081 --> 00:29:32,641
Speaker 3: went and got tattoos when Mom died. You know, Mum

566
00:29:32,761 --> 00:29:36,881
Speaker 3: was you know, forever young because he got Jerry Mum's

567
00:29:36,961 --> 00:29:41,761
Speaker 3: nameland proud as you know, and he coped, he coped,

568
00:29:41,841 --> 00:29:44,121
Speaker 3: you know, he actually it brought him out of his

569
00:29:44,201 --> 00:29:46,001
Speaker 3: shell in a way because he was a man that

570
00:29:46,681 --> 00:29:48,641
Speaker 3: was quiet. You know, he left all the socializing in

571
00:29:48,641 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 3: the mum and everyone not admit that. Everyone knows that.

572
00:29:51,521 --> 00:29:53,681
Speaker 1: You know, Mum was as little you know, socialized.

573
00:29:53,721 --> 00:29:58,801
Speaker 3: So it actually enabled him to come.

574
00:29:58,641 --> 00:30:00,161
Speaker 1: Out of his shell and to.

575
00:30:03,201 --> 00:30:06,081
Speaker 3: He hadn't had as many I had so many friends.

576
00:30:06,081 --> 00:30:08,361
Speaker 3: It actually opened up opened up his world. And I

577
00:30:08,441 --> 00:30:10,081
Speaker 3: was so proud of him.

578
00:30:10,281 --> 00:30:12,241
Speaker 1: I was really really proud of him.

579
00:30:12,361 --> 00:30:15,681
Speaker 2: Darren, how was this whole time to you? Obviously supporting Belle.

580
00:30:16,201 --> 00:30:20,601
Speaker 5: It's difficult to watch and it was a big loss.

581
00:30:20,801 --> 00:30:25,001
Speaker 5: It was a big loss, and out of Jasper and Jerry,

582
00:30:25,041 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 5: she was the social life, she was the pocket rocket,

583
00:30:27,881 --> 00:30:31,041
Speaker 5: She did all the talking. So it was very much

584
00:30:31,041 --> 00:30:34,441
Speaker 5: a shock to the system. No one was expecting it,

585
00:30:34,481 --> 00:30:38,641
Speaker 5: which made it worse. But as Bell said before, there

586
00:30:38,761 --> 00:30:41,841
Speaker 5: was a finality talt, there was a burial and we

587
00:30:41,921 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 5: knew what happened. So there was a grieving process which

588
00:30:45,801 --> 00:30:49,281
Speaker 5: they went through, but they handled it with flying colors

589
00:30:49,281 --> 00:30:57,681
Speaker 5: that I couldn't be any more proud of both of them. Sorry,

590
00:30:58,121 --> 00:31:01,361
Speaker 5: but I'm glad they got to spend those couple weeks

591
00:31:01,401 --> 00:31:05,001
Speaker 5: together in South Africa because I think it really was

592
00:31:05,201 --> 00:31:09,041
Speaker 5: was healing for both of them, because Belle and my

593
00:31:09,121 --> 00:31:11,881
Speaker 5: dad were very close, So I just spend that time together.

594
00:31:12,401 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 5: I know it held Belle and menousely, and I know

595
00:31:14,321 --> 00:31:17,001
Speaker 5: would have helped Jasper and mensely. And I know it's

596
00:31:17,001 --> 00:31:20,681
Speaker 5: something that Bell will remember till she goes to a

597
00:31:20,681 --> 00:31:21,641
Speaker 5: great sort of thing.

598
00:31:21,841 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: In the next episode that Dad's gone.

599
00:31:26,561 --> 00:31:29,881
Speaker 1: Look, he did have it did cause a bit of depression.

600
00:31:31,721 --> 00:31:33,841
Speaker 3: Lucky, I'm not the suicidal time and I've got time

601
00:31:33,881 --> 00:31:40,481
Speaker 3: on my side. At no time, as he indicated suicidal tendencies.

602
00:31:41,921 --> 00:31:45,921
Speaker 1: Look that's a weird one. That fall has never sat

603
00:31:45,961 --> 00:31:46,801
Speaker 1: well with me, I'll be.

604
00:31:46,721 --> 00:31:50,321
Speaker 5: Honest, well, thinking about it now, we don't know if

605
00:31:50,361 --> 00:31:52,321
Speaker 5: that was a fall or not, or if something else

606
00:31:52,401 --> 00:31:55,001
Speaker 5: happened on that day.

607
00:31:55,841 --> 00:31:58,841
Speaker 3: I saw a text message for my sisters saying, and

608
00:31:58,881 --> 00:32:02,161
Speaker 3: can you go check on dad? You know, the neighbor's

609
00:32:02,161 --> 00:32:04,281
Speaker 3: saying that his garage door has been up in his

610
00:32:04,361 --> 00:32:07,201
Speaker 3: car's gone. I looked down, going, is this gonna happen

611
00:32:07,241 --> 00:32:11,121
Speaker 3: all over again? Immediately having gone through with mum, do

612
00:32:11,161 --> 00:32:12,121
Speaker 3: you think the worst day?

613
00:32:12,801 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: And I put the light on and then I just

614
00:32:14,201 --> 00:32:19,601
Speaker 1: saw blood. Yeah, all these blood foot prints. There's quite

615
00:32:19,601 --> 00:32:21,241
Speaker 1: a lot of blood. And I was like, what the

616
00:32:21,241 --> 00:32:22,961
Speaker 1: hell is happening? And I yelled out.

617
00:33:05,961 --> 00:33:08,801
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618
00:33:09,441 --> 00:33:12,601
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619
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620
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621
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622
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623
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