WEBVTT - WHAT IS SEXOLOGY? WITH CHANTELLE OTTEN 0:00:00.360 --> 0:00:01.200 Huge announcement. 0:00:01.240 --> 0:00:03.920 Guys, Tickets are now on sale for our two million 0:00:03.960 --> 0:00:04.480 listen tour. 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:07.480 We are going to multiple cities throughout September. 0:00:07.760 --> 0:00:10.760 We've got Melbourne on the seventh, Brisbane on the fourteenth, 0:00:10.800 --> 0:00:12.280 and Sydney on the twenty first. 0:00:12.320 --> 0:00:15.400 Tickets to moving fast, so get yours before they sell out. 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.000 Head to the link in our Instagram bio to grab 0:00:18.040 --> 0:00:18.599 yours now. 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:21.080 We are going to have so much fun at these shows, 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:23.279 so come along and hang out with us. We can't 0:00:23.320 --> 0:00:24.520 wait to see you bye. 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:27.360 I want the fairy Tale, I want the Prince Charming. 0:00:27.760 --> 0:00:30.640 She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:31.640 my kissing. 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:35.680 Style boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:37.600 a trash bin. He's non recyclable. 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:38.519 Catching them up. 0:00:39.840 --> 0:00:41.880 I love being love. I love love. 0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:44.879 On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:47.360 very excited to be able to spend some time with 0:00:47.440 --> 0:00:48.159 shantell On. 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:50.200 Award winning sexologist. 0:00:50.400 --> 0:00:52.960 Shantale is the author of the best selling book The 0:00:53.040 --> 0:00:55.520 Sex Edge You Never Had, and the host of the 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:57.120 Sex Therapy Audible original. 0:00:57.400 --> 0:01:00.760 We can't wait to ask Chantelle or your juicy questions 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:04.400 and find out what being a sexologist entails stay tuned. 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:11.720 Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all 0:01:11.800 --> 0:01:17.120 things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between. 0:01:17.400 --> 0:01:20.120 This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:26.240 intimate details, advice and much more. 0:01:27.760 --> 0:01:30.200 Hi Chantelle, Why Hello? 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:32.920 Welcome to Where's your Head At? And first of all, 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:33.960 where's your head? 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:40.679 Why at? Where am I right now? I mean I'm 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:43.399 quite jet lagged actually because I just got back from Europe. 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:47.199 Oh not yesterday, but the day before. So I've been 0:01:47.319 --> 0:01:50.720 up quite early this morning. But I'm happy. I'm happy 0:01:50.720 --> 0:01:52.840 to be back at work and kind of getting into 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:53.560 the rhythm. 0:01:53.680 --> 0:01:57.080 Yeah, and I've seen on your socials you've been doing 0:01:57.360 --> 0:01:59.480 some egg freezing before you went away. 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:00.640 Can you talk us through that? 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:05.040 Yeah, so it feels like a lifetime ago. Now how 0:02:05.120 --> 0:02:06.919 long ago? Was it? Like three and a half weeks? 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:11.320 So I have done two rounds of egg freezing now. 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:14.399 The first round was filmed on a TV show called 0:02:14.400 --> 0:02:18.040 Big Miracles that was last year, And I did it 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.200 because I have a lot of young people coming into 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:24.320 my office and they're kind of rushing out of like 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:28.040 healthy relationships and getting into relationships that may be more 0:02:28.160 --> 0:02:31.760 viable to kind of have a family with or like that. 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:35.400 I don't know, like this biological clock that's ticking for 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:38.079 a lot of patients of mine. But also there's a 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:42.720 lack of awareness around like fertility and where you're at, 0:02:42.960 --> 0:02:45.639 like in your fertility journey as well, and if you're 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:47.760 going to have some challenges. So I kind of thought, 0:02:48.720 --> 0:02:52.720 I can't keep talking about people egg freezing if I 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:55.560 actually don't know much about the process. So I did 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:57.560 it for the show, and the first round that I 0:02:57.600 --> 0:03:03.079 did was quite seamless, and I am I have polcistic ovaries, 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.640 and I got so many eggs. I got forty eggs 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:08.959 out in my first round, which is like like four 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:13.480 times a normal amount. Yeah, it was crazy. And then 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:19.320 because of that, I thought, well, I'll do one more 0:03:19.440 --> 0:03:22.320 round and then I should have a lot of eggs 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:24.119 that I can donate as well, because it's very hard 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:28.120 to find egged owners in Australia. People are really tighter. 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:33.280 They're like, yeah, they're biological material, So for me, I'm not. 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:36.160 I'm like, how amazing to be able to give the 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:38.800 gift of life to people. So I did another round 0:03:39.280 --> 0:03:41.040 a couple of weeks ago, and to be honest, the 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:44.040 second round was pretty brutal for me. But I'm definitely 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.760 feeling like my body is getting back to normal now, 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:47.520 which is awesome. 0:03:47.760 --> 0:03:50.840 That's incredible that you are willing to do that for 0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:53.960 so many people, like to give you know, a couple 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:55.360 of the chance at having a baby. 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:57.200 That must like that's crazy. 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:58.800 Yeah, it's exciting. 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:00.000 Yeah. 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:03.840 So you didn't go through the egg freezing process for 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.000 yourself to freeze them for further down the track, you 0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:07.160 did it for research? 0:04:07.200 --> 0:04:09.760 You're saying, No, it's not for research, not at all. No, 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:13.800 it's too So the first first one was for it 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:15.880 is all like, obviously they're my eggs. I get to 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:19.240 keep them. The ones I don't use, I donate them. 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:23.400 But it's a combination of things. It's for educating people, 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:26.200 it is. Yeah, maybe it is a little bit about 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:29.920 research as well. For sure, it's about my futility journey, 0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:32.400 but it's also about helping other people create their own 0:04:32.440 --> 0:04:33.360 families as well. 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:34.080 Yeah. 0:04:34.160 --> 0:04:36.880 I went to the Guided Colleges actually recently and I'm 0:04:36.920 --> 0:04:41.000 thirty one, and he basically said to me, like, you 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:43.320 really should think about freezing your eggs, and it kind 0:04:43.320 --> 0:04:46.120 of caught me off guard, Like it was I don't know, 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:48.760 you get to thirty one and you just don't expect 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:53.960 that even to be a conversation with a random guynecologist, 0:04:54.000 --> 0:04:56.240 and I just felt very caught off guard. So I 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:58.560 think it must be how is the process of getting 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:00.640 to actually you know, getting there? 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:04.680 Yeah, well, so thirty one, you're you're in your like 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:10.000 prime fertile age. But also, like, egg freezing is not 0:05:10.040 --> 0:05:13.360 a guarantee, right, it is definitely a safety blanket, but 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:18.720 it's not a guarantee because even though like my eggs 0:05:18.800 --> 0:05:22.640 might be healthy, doesn't mean that they're going to survive 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:26.400 the process of freezing and unfreezing. Doesn't mean that my 0:05:26.520 --> 0:05:29.880 partner's sperm is going to be healthy. You know, it's 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:34.520 there's so many factors to consider also environmentally as well. 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:38.880 But I think for us, like I'm thirty two years old. 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:41.720 Once you get to the age of thirty five, you're 0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:45.000 considered geriatric and you're actually not allowed to donate eggs 0:05:45.040 --> 0:05:48.159 after the age of thirty five. Your eggs are over 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:51.920 the age of thirty five. Yeah, so isn't it crazy? 0:05:52.000 --> 0:05:55.839 But where whereas I'm like, I'm still so young, I'm. 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:04.440 We are I guess like biologically speaking, we're kind of 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:07.599 getting to that age where our body is going, yeah, 0:06:07.680 --> 0:06:11.120 well we're you know, the quality of our eggs is 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:12.960 going to start changing as well. 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:15.719 Because we're all born with the amount of eggs that 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:18.200 we're ever going to have, and then each month we 0:06:18.320 --> 0:06:22.080 shed a certain amount and one usually or maybe two 0:06:22.160 --> 0:06:25.520 if you're like prone to twins or more will be 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.400 I guess provided to meet with sperm and to possibly 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:31.200 create a baby when you get your period. 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.640 Yeah. So I love that even just hearing you say, 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:37.320 like to if you're like the twins thing, like, I 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:38.839 just don't like think about that. 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:41.520 Yeah, I mean I've never really thought about the egg 0:06:41.600 --> 0:06:43.880 process for women at all and how it's going into 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:47.600 freezing in thirty five seeing so young to be like 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:49.560 they're not competent. 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:51.719 Eggs, Well, it's not a guarantee that they're not competent. 0:06:51.760 --> 0:06:54.880 It's just like there's a possibility, yeah, that the quality 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:56.600 is going to be a lot lower. And it's not 0:06:56.680 --> 0:06:59.120 just for people who are menstruating, which is I guess 0:06:59.160 --> 0:07:01.159 what you call women. Bet a lot of people you 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:04.359 know who don't identify as I also manstraight. But for 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.120 people who you know have sperm as well. It is 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:09.760 kind of like fifty to fifty in a way, or 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:13.240 like forty forty and then twenty percent external factors as well. 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:17.080 Yeah, well, look, Chantal, you are a sexologist, so we 0:07:17.160 --> 0:07:18.160 want to talk. 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:20.000 All things sexology. 0:07:20.720 --> 0:07:23.560 I guess my first question for you is when does 0:07:23.600 --> 0:07:27.760 someone usually consult you for sex advice? Like what is 0:07:27.840 --> 0:07:31.120 going on with them that they need to kind of 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:33.000 hit you up or booking an appointment. 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.080 I look, I think we will all have questions about 0:07:36.080 --> 0:07:39.120 sex at some point, no matter what age we are 0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:42.200 or gender or orientation. But I would say, like my 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:45.400 main demographic for my clinic, because I run a latch 0:07:45.440 --> 0:07:48.480 clinic in Australia, I would say that usually between like 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:51.840 eighteen and forty five, it would be the kind of range. 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:56.120 And that's when maybe like around eighteen is like figuring 0:07:56.200 --> 0:08:02.280 out more around how to have pleasure, and maybe if 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:05.800 there's some challenges around performance anxiety or learning more about 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:09.000 your body or your menstrual cycles, maybe it's learning more 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:13.880 about boundaries, concent body autonomy, Maybe there's painful sex conditions 0:08:13.920 --> 0:08:17.760 involved that I guess would be the kind of concerns 0:08:17.800 --> 0:08:19.840 I would see for that age range. Whereas when we 0:08:19.920 --> 0:08:25.000 get towards our kind of mid twenties to like mid forties, 0:08:25.200 --> 0:08:29.040 that's about having more fun. Maybe it's about long term relationships. 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:31.840 Maybe it's about being single for the first time and 0:08:31.920 --> 0:08:35.079 you know, navigating like how to be single and how 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:38.520 to have like more casual interactions as well. But yeah, 0:08:38.520 --> 0:08:40.800 I think in longer term relationships we would see like 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:46.320 difficulties with desire, maybe some challenges around orgasm or premature 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:50.160 ejaculation or rectile dysfunction. So to be honest, it's it's 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:52.480 really when you have a question or concern that you 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:55.240 don't know how to find the answer to. I think 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:57.640 all of us need to see a sexologist at some point, 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:01.600 myself included. And I'm just think that, you know, it's 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:04.480 actually quite like a lot of us are having sex, 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:06.720 or if we're not having sex, maybe we want to 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:10.000 be having more sex. So that's where someone like myself 0:09:10.000 --> 0:09:10.720 would come in. 0:09:11.400 --> 0:09:14.520 Talk us through how you become a sexologist. You have 0:09:14.600 --> 0:09:16.239 to study to get a PhD. 0:09:16.760 --> 0:09:19.320 Like what is it like, No, you just got to 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:20.600 like sex? Oh? 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:27.880 Really? Just no, I don't think I should be given 0:09:27.880 --> 0:09:28.800 advice to feople. 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:34.480 Look, no, look there are It's an interesting one because 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:37.360 it's an unregulated profession in Australia. There are a lot 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:39.360 of people who are online at the moment who are 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:43.679 saying they are certified sex experts or certified sexologists and 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:46.920 they have done like a I don't know, like a 0:09:47.120 --> 0:09:53.480 certificate from like an online learning platform which isn't actually valid. 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:56.280 You have to go through university. Usually you come from 0:09:56.360 --> 0:10:01.120 like a psychology, counseling, medical or scientific background or like 0:10:01.240 --> 0:10:04.520 health kind of background, and then you have to go 0:10:04.600 --> 0:10:07.360 on and do your master's degree. So I did psychology 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.920 and then I did my Masters of Science in medicine 0:10:10.960 --> 0:10:14.600 and I specialize in sexual medicine. But then I also 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:17.600 did a sexology degree when I lived in Amsterdam as well, 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:20.560 and then trained with the European Society of Sexual Medicine. 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:24.719 So not everyone does that amount of education. But like 0:10:25.120 --> 0:10:28.120 typically if you are going to see a sexologist, you 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:30.640 should be looking at their qualifications and going do they 0:10:30.640 --> 0:10:33.280 have a background if you're seeing them for therapy, to 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.400 have a background in therapy counseling, of psychology, have they 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:40.880 done a master's degree in sexual medicine and just yeah, 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:44.840 don't always look at people's titles because people love to 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:47.679 title themselves, especially on social media. 0:10:48.240 --> 0:10:51.200 What made you want to study the sexual side of 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:54.839 psychology and that like what made you attracted you from 0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:56.720 a better term of words to that side of it. 0:10:56.880 --> 0:11:00.079 The sexual side of psychology. Well, I think that. I 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:03.920 think like sexual medicine is such an interesting area in general, 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:08.320 and it's not just psychology. It's biology, it's interpersonal relationships, 0:11:08.360 --> 0:11:12.440 it's youerious sociocultural surroundings, so your culture where you grew up, 0:11:12.880 --> 0:11:14.800 the notions of the country that you live in, or 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:18.040 you know, your religion, et cetera. I think for me, 0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:23.559 psychology was like nice, and I've always had an interest 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:26.600 in people and I've always wanted to help people, and 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.760 it didn't have to be sexology. You know. I used 0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:33.520 to work in like drug and alcohol rehabilitation, and then 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:37.160 I also worked in like research for at the Royal 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:40.400 Children's Hospital here as well. So I think wherever I 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:45.040 felt stimulated enough to be enthusiastic to get out of 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:47.200 bed and get to work, that for me was like 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.840 good enough. And then they just kind of came a 0:11:49.880 --> 0:11:52.920 point where I was like, like, I love talking about sex. 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:56.680 Sex is super fun for me. My background is Dutch. 0:11:56.960 --> 0:11:59.640 My family's super open when we talk about sex, and 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:03.679 of realized so many people didn't have that privilege. And 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:05.840 I saw a lot of my friends taking risks when 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:08.960 it came to their sex lives or you know, misogyny, 0:12:09.520 --> 0:12:13.600 like these notions of misogyny. This is like when American 0:12:13.640 --> 0:12:16.000 Pie was like at its prime and we were learning 0:12:16.000 --> 0:12:20.480 about I don't know, like sex in all the wrong ways. 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:25.960 And I think as a fem person, I remember just thinking, Oh, 0:12:26.000 --> 0:12:28.640 it's something like I have to do because that's what's 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.080 expected of me, and I have to be wild and 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:33.320 crazy and we all kind of learned through porn. And 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:37.240 I just thought, like, there's so much more to this, 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.760 Like it's such a complicated topic. Why aren't we talking 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:44.080 about it more? And then I also read Esaperel's book 0:12:44.320 --> 0:12:47.320 It's called Meeting in Captivity, and that book really spoke 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:52.640 about like complexities in relationships and nuances of desire and 0:12:52.679 --> 0:12:55.480 long term relationships, and I thought, Wow, there's so much 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:57.120 for me to learn that I know I could be 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.400 learning really for the rest of my life on this topic. 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.560 So I'm sitting in going into it and that's why 0:13:02.640 --> 0:13:04.880 I kind of yeah. And my mum also was like, 0:13:04.920 --> 0:13:07.560 you'd be a really good sex ologist, so that's how 0:13:07.600 --> 0:13:08.600 I kind of got into it. 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:10.520 I love that you got her blessing. 0:13:10.880 --> 0:13:11.360 I love it. 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:14.599 Do your family and friends ask you for or like 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:18.120 kind of rely on you for like free advice and consultations. 0:13:18.160 --> 0:13:20.240 I feel like if you're one of my besties, I'd 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:23.040 be like, Okay, I need all of the info. 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:26.640 Actually, like not at all, Like none of them talk 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:30.240 to me about the sex lives at all. No. I 0:13:30.280 --> 0:13:33.559 think they're just like because at the end of the day, 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:37.160 it's my job, and like sometimes they'll be like, oh 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:39.559 I need help, or like, oh, you know, my partner 0:13:39.600 --> 0:13:40.960 wants to try this. So I don't know how to 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:42.719 do it or what would be a toy that you 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:47.480 would recommend. But I would say when people see me, 0:13:47.600 --> 0:13:49.600 they like my friends see me, they don't think of 0:13:49.640 --> 0:13:53.280 me as hunt and sex ologists. I'm just chantal shanty 0:13:53.440 --> 0:13:58.000 to them, So I'm yeah, I would say though, maybe, 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.920 Like my best friend was saying to me the other day, 0:14:01.920 --> 0:14:05.600 my best friend's also my manager, and she was like, 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:08.880 I don't think you realize how much you do help 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.760 people with their overall health and well being because I'm 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:13.880 always like, oh, like, maybe you should look at this 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:17.840 or like, ah, if you've got a lump, like, probably 0:14:17.880 --> 0:14:19.800 need to check that out. Or they'll be like what 0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:22.920 does this you know medication mean or what does if 0:14:22.920 --> 0:14:25.880 someone has got this personality disorder? What would that mean 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:29.760 for their relationship? So I think maybe without actually like 0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.240 saying the words sex, I help a lot of my 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:34.880 friends and family out in that area, but I wouldn't 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:37.520 say they're coming to me directly. I also say to 0:14:37.560 --> 0:14:39.760 them like I don't talk to like I don't see 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:42.000 my friends as patients. They can see one of my 0:14:42.480 --> 0:14:45.880 staff instead, because otherwise there's like a bias there that 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:48.200 I is not healthy for therapy. 0:14:48.480 --> 0:14:51.200 Yeah, what does a regular day in the clinic look 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.600 like for you? And I guess, like what's the most 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:59.480 fulfilling or awarding part of a day helping someone? Like 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:02.880 what really like fills your cup? What type of problem? 0:15:03.240 --> 0:15:05.800 So I don't really have regular days in the clinic anymore. 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:08.480 I think if we'd spoken about five years ago, I 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:10.600 would have been able to tell you if I worked 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:12.680 like nine am to nine pm and it was back 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:16.560 to back sessions. Now, because I've got over twenty staff members, 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:19.640 it's like my day is super varied. I also work, 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:23.480 you know outside of the clinic with media and consulting 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:27.560 and you know, doing kind of projects that are educating 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:30.520 people on a larger level. But if I was to 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:35.840 go into the clinic, like, actually, maybe i'll explain like 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:40.200 my day today. So for example, today I work up 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:43.560 at about six point thirty and then I kind of 0:15:43.600 --> 0:15:47.840 like went through my slack and I spoke to my EA, 0:15:48.120 --> 0:15:50.400 and then I kind of looked at all the emails 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.880 coming through for the clinic and allocated each email to 0:15:54.120 --> 0:15:58.280 a different therapist or each person kind of making an 0:15:58.280 --> 0:16:03.360 inquiry to a different therapist. And then I delegate tasks 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:06.840 to my EA, and then I get my ass kicked 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:10.160 by my manager. She's like, you need to be doing this. 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:13.440 I need this content. You need to do media commentary 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:17.560 on these five articles, et cetera. And then like I've 0:16:17.720 --> 0:16:20.600 had a sauna, I've had a shower, and then now 0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:24.120 we've got a podcast. I guess a bit later this week, 0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:27.880 I'll see some patients and I only see patients pro bonos, 0:16:27.920 --> 0:16:30.800 so people who can't afford to pay for therapy. And 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:34.200 that's because I have that privilege, because I earn money, 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:38.200 I guess through sponsorships, and consulting, and then I also 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:44.280 see a few other patients that are probably quite challenging, 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:49.480 like heavy medical conditions, cancer, or like psychiatric concerns or 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:54.760 narcissistic personality disorder patients. And then what else am I 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:58.680 doing today? Gosh, I've just got a few meetings this afternoon. 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:00.320 I know I need to catch up with three of 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:04.240 my staff this week, and then I'm traveling into state 0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:06.520 twice as well this week. So I have a like, 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.480 that's a normal week for me. But if you were 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:13.960 one of my therapists working in my office, my team 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:17.120 make their own schedules around their lifestyle so that they 0:17:17.160 --> 0:17:19.000 can have a good quality of life. They want to 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:20.600 go to the gym, they can do that. They want 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:22.199 to take their kids to school, they can do that. 0:17:22.960 --> 0:17:26.280 So they make their own schedules, and I would say 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:29.639 they get in their accessions typically about fifty minutes, and 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:31.840 you do about ten minutes to kind of wind down. 0:17:32.320 --> 0:17:34.600 Maybe you write some notes, maybe you take twenty minutes 0:17:34.600 --> 0:17:36.760 a half an hour. It depends on each therapist in 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:41.639 their preference, and you make treatment plans, you refer to 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:45.119 other specialists as well. You make sure that you're I 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:48.360 guess on top of the latest research, but also you're 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:52.000 looking at doing supervision with other specialists, so you can 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:55.760 get outside opinions on maybe a particular PA for a 0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:59.960 concern that you might need some different opinions on, or 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:02.119 different types of advice or specialty on. 0:18:02.320 --> 0:18:04.920 That's amazing that you do pro bono work. I think 0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:08.760 that's really amazing. How do people like reach out to 0:18:08.840 --> 0:18:11.320 you to kind of get this assistance. 0:18:12.440 --> 0:18:15.720 Usually they'll come to the clinic and they'll say like 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:17.880 I can't afford it, or once in a while they'll 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:21.280 I'll put out like a call out on my social 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:25.320 media for people and they can apply. Also, if we 0:18:25.359 --> 0:18:28.520 have like student therapists coming through, that's a really good 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:32.560 opportunity because then patients get like a really discounted session, 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:35.200 so instead of like you know, over one hundred and 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:38.360 fifty dollars, it's like fifty dollars or ninety dollars instead 0:18:38.440 --> 0:18:42.080 for a session, So they're still getting the advice. And 0:18:42.200 --> 0:18:45.119 all the students are supervised by myself as well, so 0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:48.960 they're kind of getting the advice that I would give, 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:52.879 but by proxy through through the student instead. But I 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:55.560 would say, like the pro bono patients come through because 0:18:55.840 --> 0:18:58.960 they're usually referred by a different specialist to me that 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:01.439 I I've got quite a good connection with. 0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.200 Yeah, you were saying before, how a lot of homes 0:19:05.280 --> 0:19:08.439 find it taboo to talk about sex in the house 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:13.040 with their kids and parents. What's your opinion on teaching 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:15.639 it more in schools to the kids so they have 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:17.439 a better understanding of it, because, like you said, a 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:20.280 lot of people learn through porn and that gives them 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:22.840 a warped opinion on what sex actually is. 0:19:24.320 --> 0:19:27.240 I mean, I'm so pro it. Why wouldn't you be. 0:19:27.400 --> 0:19:29.920 I think we all need to have as much education 0:19:30.000 --> 0:19:34.640 as possible, and there are some really great organizations providing 0:19:34.640 --> 0:19:38.720 sex education in school. It's becoming way more popular, and 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:43.200 we can see through advocates like Chanel Contos for example, 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:47.320 talking about consent and some really amazing people who were 0:19:47.320 --> 0:19:50.080 pushing for a better sex education in school, that we're 0:19:50.119 --> 0:19:53.120 getting to a better place. Obviously there's still a long 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:57.360 way to go, but yeah, obviously very I learned, like. 0:19:57.320 --> 0:19:59.880 A lot of Australians did, I think in Melbourne, especially 0:20:00.400 --> 0:20:01.760 through a giraffe. 0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:06.240 In a van. Yeah, I didn't get that. I went 0:20:06.240 --> 0:20:09.200 to a Catholic school. We weren't allowed to talk about. 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:11.919 And the giraft would come out of the wall and 0:20:12.000 --> 0:20:14.920 be like, don't do drugs. It's is sex when you 0:20:14.920 --> 0:20:18.080 think about it's actually kind of creepy. 0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:22.320 I actually was born in the UK and we just 0:20:22.440 --> 0:20:26.240 basically I mean I'm talking from my personal experience at my. 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:29.480 School, but we had like zero sex education. 0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:30.960 And a bit more forward over there. 0:20:32.160 --> 0:20:33.560 Nothing nothing at all. 0:20:33.600 --> 0:20:36.520 So it's actually like in the UK, there's not a 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:41.320 huge amount of like there's a lot of like qualified 0:20:41.560 --> 0:20:44.440 sexologists there. They're doing a really good job with educating 0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:49.560 people like myself or health practitioners. But I think it's 0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:51.960 quite also very difficult to become a sexologist in the 0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:54.760 UK as well. But sex education I think is quite 0:20:54.800 --> 0:20:55.840 similar to Australia. 0:20:56.080 --> 0:20:58.560 Yeah, what's too young to teach them? Do you reckon? 0:20:58.760 --> 0:21:03.920 Yeah? I think that it depends on what you're looking at. 0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:06.320 I think you can talk about boundaries, and you can 0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:08.960 talk about asking for consent at quite a young age, 0:21:09.040 --> 0:21:10.760 like from the age of four, and you can start 0:21:10.840 --> 0:21:14.320 learning about how you feel within your body where like 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:18.520