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Speaker 1: Apoday production.

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Speaker 2: We begin today by acknowledging the traditional custodians of the

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Speaker 2: land on which we gathered today and pay our respects

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Speaker 2: to their elders past and present. We extend that respect

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Speaker 2: to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people's here today. Welcome

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Speaker 2: to the Grow and Glow Podcast. I'm Ashy, I'm Kiara.

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Speaker 2: This is a podcast where we learn, laugh, and level

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Speaker 2: up together.

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Speaker 3: Let's go deep, let.

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Speaker 1: The emotions flow, and find the lessons to grow and Glow.

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Speaker 1: Nothing is off the table with Grow and Glow and

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Speaker 1: we're here to be your expander.

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Speaker 3: Hey everybody, and welcome back to Grow and Today's episodes.

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Speaker 3: A little bit juicy.

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Speaker 1: We actually had one of our community members in our

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Speaker 1: private Facebook forum right in for some advice, and she

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Speaker 1: asked us for our best kind of advice, and I

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Speaker 1: screenshot a incident to Kiara, and I was like, I

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Speaker 1: feel like this could be a really cool one to

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Speaker 1: unpack on the potty.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, all about.

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Speaker 1: Her relationship and her cheating and how she's navigating the

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Speaker 1: aftermath of that. So we're actually going to unpack that

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Speaker 1: on the episode, read it all out what she said,

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Speaker 1: and give our best advice.

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Speaker 3: So before we get into that, though, we've got share

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Speaker 3: of the week. What's yours? Okay, So this is a

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Speaker 3: bit of a story. Love your stories.

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Speaker 2: So kurn I went on a little getaway last week,

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Speaker 2: which was so exciting that two of us kid free

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Speaker 2: a couple nights away. It was so much fun. Whenever

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Speaker 2: we go away or like, if I go out somewhere

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Speaker 2: really nice, I like to treat myself when I got

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Speaker 2: my nails done, Oh I love it. I never usually

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Speaker 2: get my nails done, and I like to pack one

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Speaker 2: row of clipping extensions to give me a bit more

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Speaker 2: fullness of my hair. So anyways, my extensions are super

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Speaker 2: duper blonde. My hair right now is not is not.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of like a dark dirty blonde. That's sad,

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Speaker 2: very similar. Actually, I ordered a set but they weren't

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Speaker 2: here on time. That was right color. So I was like,

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna try die these ones to get me through.

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Speaker 3: Put hair dye in it. They turned green.

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Speaker 2: So when you dye hair from blonde to brunette, normally

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Speaker 2: what they do is they put a red in between

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Speaker 2: when you go to the hairdressers as like a filler.

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Speaker 2: Okay ka, I didn't know this so I have these

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Speaker 2: green as extensions and I was like, oh, I really

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Speaker 2: want to bring them.

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Speaker 3: What can I do?

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Speaker 2: Jumped on good old Google. So if anyone's struggling with

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Speaker 2: green hair, I've got.

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Speaker 3: You tomato sauces.

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Speaker 2: It soaked my extensions in tomato sauce for an hour,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, I don't know what this is

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Speaker 2: gonna do.

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Speaker 3: Is it gonna work?

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Speaker 2: Wash them out? I had to wash them like three

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Speaker 2: times and it worked. They were the perfect color, but

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Speaker 2: I will say they still sink like tomato sauce.

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Speaker 3: They smell a smell.

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Speaker 2: But I've got new ones coming, so I'm like, it's

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Speaker 2: okay shampoo. After I washed them three times, bab and

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Speaker 2: like different ones, like really nice smelling ones, I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: the tomato scent is strong. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: When I was younger and used to swim heaps and

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Speaker 1: just had naturally really blonde hair as a little girl,

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Speaker 1: I used to go so green and used to put

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Speaker 1: sauce in it. Yeah, there's something else that does it too.

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Speaker 1: There's something else weird that gets rid of chlorine.

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Speaker 3: But it's a good idea for the kids.

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Speaker 1: Hey, so goodwh oh my goodness. My recommendation this week

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Speaker 1: is the Ninja creamy. Oh yes, I've seen you using that,

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Speaker 1: absolutely loving it. I think it's pretty well priced. I

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Speaker 1: paid two sixty nine, I think, but I've seen specials

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Speaker 1: for them, like two hundred dollars whatever. But basically, if

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Speaker 1: you love really thick smoothies, if you love the texture

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Speaker 1: of ice cream, you can create any kind of recipe

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Speaker 1: that you like. I must say it's taken me a

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Speaker 1: couple of goes to really get the right consistency. And

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Speaker 1: I have done ones with just like alma milk and

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Speaker 1: like protein powdered to have like frozen protein ice cream,

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Speaker 1: and it's good, but it's more like a thick smoothie bowl,

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Speaker 1: whereas when I have like half coconut cream half arm

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Speaker 1: of milk, it's much more creamier texture, full coconut creams

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Speaker 1: like thick moosy, but coconut is quite heavy. Yeah I

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Speaker 1: can't have Yeah, I kind of have a lot of it.

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Speaker 3: It sits heavy on my tummy, so like mixing it.

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Speaker 1: But I made the most delicious bisk of vanilla one

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Speaker 1: yea absolute favorites on my TikTok, so yummy. And I've

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Speaker 1: made fruit ones where you just add like tins of

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Speaker 1: fruit or even just the juices from the tin or

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Speaker 1: a little bit of coconut water.

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Speaker 3: It's so yummy.

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Speaker 2: I've been making some with my blender. I've got this

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Speaker 2: like blender at home. I didn't realize it's got like

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Speaker 2: soups this, that, and it's got like ice creams.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I've started doing it now as well.

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Speaker 3: And yeh yeah, so good, so cool. Hey, the only

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Speaker 3: thing with the ninja is it's so loud.

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Speaker 1: And if you watch TikTok videos, everyone says the same

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Speaker 1: thing like obnoxious, so crazy.

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Speaker 3: Loud, Like a blend is loud. This is probably three

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Speaker 3: times louder. Yeah, okay, yeah, and not say all right, okay,

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Speaker 3: we get into.

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Speaker 1: It should Yeah all right. So, as I said before,

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Speaker 1: we had this beautiful woman write in and wanting some

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Speaker 1: besty advice from Kiara and I, So we're gonna unpack

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Speaker 1: it today.

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Speaker 3: So we're actually going to read.

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Speaker 1: Out what has happened, and then we'll go back and

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Speaker 1: kind of pick it up ups by now, Kiara and

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Speaker 1: I have not discussed this prior because we wanted our

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Speaker 1: authentic responses as what we would actually do, and we

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Speaker 1: could have totally different perspectives.

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Speaker 3: And advice I haven't even read it yet, and.

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Speaker 1: Once again, we're not therapists, we're not relationship experts. We're

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Speaker 1: not saying to do what we say. This is literally

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Speaker 1: two bessies on a couch like having a conversation because

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Speaker 1: it was requested.

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Speaker 2: I just want to put that out there. Yes, good disclaimer. Yeah, morning,

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Speaker 2: growing globe community. I hope you all have a beautiful day.

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Speaker 2: I'm reaching out for some supportive advice please hopefully without judgment,

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Speaker 2: but would love your honest support, especially if you can

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Speaker 2: relate or have gone through it yourself. I started the

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Speaker 2: year off ready to kick some goals by starting off

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Speaker 2: with the Healing Journal.

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Speaker 1: All my goals aligned. Then bam. I haven't opened it since.

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Speaker 1: I was in a long term relationship for seven years

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Speaker 1: and it came to an end quickly. Our relationship was

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Speaker 1: lacking many things such as communication, touch, fun, sex. It

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Speaker 1: was down to once or twice a week, attention, and more.

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Speaker 1: I suppose we kind of just got stuck for a routine.

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Speaker 1: Silly enough, someone gave me the attention that I was

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Speaker 1: craving and I cheated. Two days later, I separated from

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Speaker 1: my partner. I just knew if I could do that

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Speaker 1: to him. I don't deserve to be with him, and

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Speaker 1: he deserves better. He is the most beautiful human. And

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Speaker 1: the guilt came rolling in, of course, about a month

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Speaker 1: after separation. I told him about the one time cheating

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Speaker 1: while still hanging out.

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Speaker 3: With this other person. Also, oh, so she's actually broken.

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Speaker 1: Up with him without telling him she's cheated, and then

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Speaker 1: she's gone back a month later and said I cheated.

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Speaker 1: Not sure whether I'm still hanging out with this other

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Speaker 1: person because they're giving me the things that we were

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Speaker 1: lacking in my relationship, or if it's because it's new

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Speaker 1: and exciting and fun again, or if I'm lonely. But

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Speaker 1: this other person already has children and all the things

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Speaker 1: that I dreamt of having and doing with my ex partner.

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Speaker 1: Now I can't stop thinking about my ex partner and

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Speaker 1: all the things that could have been fixed if we

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Speaker 1: just put in the work. I can't stop imagining all

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Speaker 1: of our life goals plans and all the things we

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Speaker 1: wanted to do and make doing all of our first

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Speaker 1: together like children and marriage and more traveling. And then

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Speaker 1: the guilt hits me again, and I feel so awful,

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Speaker 1: and worst of all, I went completely against my own

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Speaker 1: morals and beliefs by doing this to him. So not

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Speaker 1: only do I feel absolutely like the most horrible person

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Speaker 1: in the world, but I'm hating myself for going against

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Speaker 1: my own beliefs and morals and I feel so goddamn stuck.

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Speaker 2: Oh hell, I just want to give her a big cud.

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Speaker 2: All same, everyone makes mistakes.

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Speaker 1: I have so much compassion for her. It really saddens

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Speaker 1: me to hear how much guilt and shame she's carrying.

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Speaker 1: And it's totally valid. Like if I was to do

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Speaker 1: that to Steve, I would feel so ashamed because it

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Speaker 1: goes against my morals and values as well.

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Speaker 3: But from an outside.

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Speaker 1: First of all, like have compassion for yourself. You're a

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Speaker 1: human and guess what humans have needs and desires and

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Speaker 1: over whether it's a short period of time, but especially

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Speaker 1: if it's over a long extended period of time, Like

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Speaker 1: if you're not getting your needs mat then you I'm

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Speaker 1: definitely going to be drawn and desire that outside of

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Speaker 1: where you're not getting it. Yeah, maybe you didn't do

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Speaker 1: the work, Maybe you didn't know how, Maybe he wasn't

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Speaker 1: wanting to do the work with you. Maybe you didn't

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Speaker 1: know how to communicate that. Maybe you were scared. Like

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Speaker 1: there's so many layers as to why you guys didn't

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Speaker 1: do the work and how and why this played out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you know, it's like we always say

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Speaker 2: that the way we look at other people and whole

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Speaker 2: compassion for them, we need to hold that same compassion

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Speaker 2: for ourselves. And I can hear just by the way

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Speaker 2: you reading that she's written it, how much shame and

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Speaker 2: guilt she's holding onto. And yeah, I just hope that

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Speaker 2: you can see that you are only human. And it

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Speaker 2: sounds like she's taken accountability and responsibility and trying to

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Speaker 2: move forward and navigate through this and really like that's

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Speaker 2: all you can do, so you should be proud of

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Speaker 2: all the little steps.

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Speaker 3: That you're taking.

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Speaker 2: Life isn't always sunshine and roses, and we go through

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Speaker 2: these hard times.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's also not black or white, like it's

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Speaker 1: just not wrong or right. Relationships just don't.

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Speaker 3: Work like that. No, And I don't know if you've

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Speaker 3: heard of the seven year itch, No.

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Speaker 2: Not seven years.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I've heard of this, the three year.

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Speaker 1: In the seven year, I think three is like you're

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Speaker 1: kind of out of that honeymoon stage and you're like

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Speaker 1: probably living together and you've seen the moods and you've

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Speaker 1: seen the habits, and then the seven years very very

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Speaker 1: common because you're really stuck in a routine, you've been

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Speaker 1: through some shit together. Now, there's probably some built up

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Speaker 1: resentment and some things that haven't been spoken about, and

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Speaker 1: the fund's kind of worn off, and it's quite a

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Speaker 1: common time that people go through a hard time and

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Speaker 1: sometimes split. All things like this happen. So it's just

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Speaker 1: interesting because you said it was seven years, let's rewind.

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Speaker 3: I mean, definitely open your journal again. That will really help.

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Speaker 1: But you've said in here, I'm not sure whether I'm

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Speaker 1: still hanging out with this person because they're giving me

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Speaker 1: the things that we were lacking in my relationship, or

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Speaker 1: because it's new, exciting and fun again, or if I'm lonely.

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Speaker 1: I mean, only you can answer that. But if I

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Speaker 1: was to assume, I think it's a mix of all

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Speaker 1: of them. And like I said, humans have needs. But

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Speaker 1: if I was ever to be in a situation like this,

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Speaker 1: or if you were my best friend, the main piece

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Speaker 1: of advice I would be giving is to take a

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Speaker 1: step back and spend so much time being solo, because

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Speaker 1: if you are with a new partner. I'm sure it's

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Speaker 1: fun and exciting, and I'm sure you're having great sex,

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Speaker 1: and I'm sure it's fulfilling a need, which is totally valid,

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Speaker 1: but it's also probably numbing out and distracting from what

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Speaker 1: needs to come up for you and what needs to

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Speaker 1: be healed. And if you don't do this healing now,

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Speaker 1: you could go into your next relationship and the same

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Speaker 1: patterns will happen again and the same shit will come up,

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Speaker 1: and that guilt and shame is not going anywhere, even

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Speaker 1: if you're kind of park it to the side over here.

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Speaker 1: Why this is all fun and exciting, it is going

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Speaker 1: to come out, and if you don't deal that, you

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Speaker 1: could come out and things like anxiety or sleep disorders

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Speaker 1: or food addictions or numbing out through socials. Like we've

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Speaker 1: spoken about this before. So I would take a huge

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Speaker 1: step back and just spend a lot of time solo,

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Speaker 1: even getting some support like a coach or a therapist

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Speaker 1: to really help you unpack this. But just take your

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Speaker 1: time and be gentle with yourself and just allow that time.

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Speaker 1: Because you've been with someone for so long, like, do

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Speaker 1: you even know who you are without him?

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Speaker 3: Do you know what you are?

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Speaker 1: You know what you're desiring a relationship, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if there's also an opportunity to reconnect

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Speaker 1: with your ex, but maybe it's a chance for you

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Speaker 1: to check in.

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Speaker 3: A few guys were.

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Speaker 1: Even aligned and on the white path and like we're

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Speaker 1: growing together. Is it something you were on that same

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Speaker 1: wavelength and the same vibration because people grow apart.

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Speaker 2: Definitely, and I couldn't agree more with taking a step back.

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Speaker 2: That's exactly what I was thinking as well, just to

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Speaker 2: gain clarity. You've literally still been in a relationship and

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Speaker 2: been with this guy, so you've had no time to

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Speaker 2: even digest what you have just gone through with your ex.

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Speaker 2: When you've broken up. You haven't actually sat back and

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Speaker 2: had time to think if it's what you want or not.

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Speaker 2: Because you've gone straight from one to another. There's been

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Speaker 2: no in between time to adjust from one to that.

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Speaker 2: So if you keep going the way that you're going

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Speaker 2: and hanging out with this new person, you're always going

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Speaker 2: to be stuck in the unknown. You need to get

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Speaker 2: really clear on what you are wanting. So the best

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Speaker 2: thing to do is step back from everyone, have the

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Speaker 2: time to yourself and to ask yourself those questions and

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Speaker 2: really get clear on it, because if you just jump

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Speaker 2: straight from this and there's this new partner that's for

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Speaker 2: filling all these needs, but you're still not sure, you're

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Speaker 2: always gonna wonder what if, or you know, if it

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Speaker 2: was the right choice. So I definitely think it's by

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Speaker 2: the sounds of it, there's so much more clarity that

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Speaker 2: you need to gain by taking a step back from

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Speaker 2: everyone ondred percent.

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Speaker 1: And if you go into a new relationship wanting them

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Speaker 1: to fill the voids and you haven't done that healing

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Speaker 1: by yourself, it's just it's almost not the best foundation

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Speaker 1: to start on a relationship. You want to be so

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Speaker 1: okay on your own and so in love with yourself

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Speaker 1: and your life and support yourself and have your own

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Speaker 1: back so that when someone else comes in, it's like

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Speaker 1: this added bonus. There's no codependency, there's no them filling

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Speaker 1: the void. It's just like overflow to each other, if

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Speaker 1: that makes sense. So that's once again, if you don't

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Speaker 1: take that time, you will just go for that person.

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Speaker 1: They might tick these boxes, but then you might be

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Speaker 1: rushing into that to get those needs that you want

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Speaker 1: right now, but there might be some other really important

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Speaker 1: foundational needs and desires that you want that you haven't

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Speaker 1: even taken the time to learn about. So you'll end

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Speaker 1: up in the same situation in three, five, six, seven

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Speaker 1: years time and they're not getting met. It's like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, here I am again. I mean the same situation.

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Speaker 1: I've attracted the same kind of man or the same

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Speaker 1: situation because I didn't do that work. I didn't learn,

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Speaker 1: I didn't make a conscious decision. I just jumped into

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Speaker 1: something because I felt good in the moment.

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Speaker 2: And I also feel like the chapter with your husband

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Speaker 2: really needs to be closed before opening a new chapter

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Speaker 2: with someone else. I feel like, by the sounds of it,

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Speaker 2: broke up really quickly and then left and then let

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Speaker 2: them know about the cheating a month later, Like has

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Speaker 2: there been big conversations around this, That's what's going to

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Speaker 2: really help to lift that shame and guilt as well.

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Speaker 2: To let him understand and chat to him about it

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Speaker 2: and let him know where you're coming from, so then

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Speaker 2: he can hold compassion for you and you can hold

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Speaker 2: compassion for yourself. And actually ending the chapter and closing

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Speaker 2: it and knowing that's where it's going to be, or

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Speaker 2: could do a four point eighty, he might go, wow,

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Speaker 2: I really understand why you did that, Like, how can

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Speaker 2: we move forward?

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Speaker 1: For us?

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Speaker 3: That's it.

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Speaker 2: But until you decide to close that chapter and actually

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Speaker 2: have those hard conversations and you know, finish this off

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Speaker 2: before starting some fresh I think it's going to be

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Speaker 2: really confusing.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so so true.

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Speaker 1: On that note, if you go to him wanting to

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Speaker 1: have these uncomfortable hard conversations to help him understand where

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Speaker 1: you're coming from and for you to understand where he's

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Speaker 1: coming from. If he doesn't want to, that's also okay.

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Speaker 1: He might not be ready, he might be hurting too much,

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Speaker 1: it might be too raw. It doesn't mean that you

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Speaker 1: can't do your part. And if he doesn't have the conversation,

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Speaker 1: that's where I really love a good burning ceremony where

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Speaker 1: you like get everything out on paper and burn it

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Speaker 1: and let it go. Because even though he might not

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Speaker 1: forgive you, you can't live your life holding onto that

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Speaker 1: you actually have to forgive yourself.

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Speaker 3: That's where it all begins. You do not want to

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Speaker 3: live a life or.

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Speaker 1: You're carrying around a big bag of gil and shamee

340
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Speaker 1: because it's the lowest vibrational frequency to be on. So

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Speaker 1: part of that healing is for you to let go

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Speaker 1: and for you to have that compassion for yourself and

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Speaker 1: to understand why you did the things that you did,

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Speaker 1: even win against the grain, even though went against all

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Speaker 1: your morals and values, like forgive yourself. And if your

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Speaker 1: best friend was going through this, like if one of

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Speaker 1: us was coming to you about you'd probably have so

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Speaker 1: much understanding and be like, oh, maybe it's because of this,

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's because of that, Like have that same internal

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Speaker 1: conversation with yourself and get it down on paper and

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Speaker 1: burn it and let it go. And hopefully, I feel

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Speaker 1: like conversations can be so healing. I really hope that

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Speaker 1: he would be open to having those conversations. And you

354
00:15:19,201 --> 00:15:22,481
Speaker 1: could always get a mediator if you guys feel super dysregulated.

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Speaker 1: And obviously I don't know you both, but if one

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Speaker 1: is likely to be reactive or not here, having a

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Speaker 1: mediator instantly like opens up more space to both people

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Speaker 1: be heard and seen and have someone else have a

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Speaker 1: different perspective or break it down, Like if your partner's

360
00:15:37,921 --> 00:15:41,121
Speaker 1: not understanding something, the mediator could be a relationship coach

361
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,961
Speaker 1: or a counselor could then break it down in a

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Speaker 1: way that they do understand.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that can.

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Speaker 2: Be really helpful help with a communication.

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Speaker 1: If you're not getting back together. Just to clear that

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Speaker 1: energetically for both of you would be so beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think you both just need probably a

368
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Speaker 2: little bit of time, Like it sounds like everything's just

369
00:15:55,761 --> 00:15:57,721
Speaker 2: moved so fast, like no one's even stopped to like

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Speaker 2: feel the depths of what's going on. Because that's huge,

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Speaker 2: having a seven year relationship with someone and building a

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Speaker 2: life together and then it all just changing so quickly.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's huge. Massive. Add one more thing on top

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Speaker 3: of that.

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Speaker 1: If he's not open to conversations, I think you need

376
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Speaker 1: to do that healing with yourself. I think you could

377
00:16:16,121 --> 00:16:18,841
Speaker 1: still write them a beautiful letter, and that's a way

378
00:16:18,881 --> 00:16:21,161
Speaker 1: that he can open that whenever he's ready, he can

379
00:16:21,201 --> 00:16:23,801
Speaker 1: process that however he likes to. He can do with

380
00:16:23,881 --> 00:16:27,441
Speaker 1: that letter whatever he chooses, but you being able to

381
00:16:27,481 --> 00:16:30,881
Speaker 1: express to him exactly what you were feeling. Not blaming

382
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Speaker 1: because he's just going to get his wall up then

383
00:16:33,121 --> 00:16:36,161
Speaker 1: and he's going to feel shit after what's happened to him,

384
00:16:36,481 --> 00:16:39,441
Speaker 1: but just really owning your part and expressing how you

385
00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:42,001
Speaker 1: felt in those moments leading up to it, what wasn't

386
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,681
Speaker 1: being met and how you guys could have done things differently,

387
00:16:45,121 --> 00:16:48,241
Speaker 1: you know, and really deeply, genuinely apologize. I think that

388
00:16:48,281 --> 00:16:49,881
Speaker 1: will help you let go and it will help him

389
00:16:49,881 --> 00:16:52,521
Speaker 1: feel seen and heard and validated for him to be

390
00:16:52,521 --> 00:16:55,281
Speaker 1: able to let go and talk or either move forward.

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Speaker 2: And in the back of your journal there's a letters

392
00:16:57,041 --> 00:16:57,361
Speaker 2: there too.

393
00:16:57,441 --> 00:17:00,081
Speaker 3: There is actually about Yeah, they're right there, they're right

394
00:17:00,161 --> 00:17:02,681
Speaker 3: there with your girlfriend definitely, is anything else you want

395
00:17:02,681 --> 00:17:03,241
Speaker 3: to add on to that?

396
00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:06,321
Speaker 2: I think the biggest thing is open the journal back

397
00:17:06,401 --> 00:17:09,801
Speaker 2: up and take time to like for yourself, like really

398
00:17:09,961 --> 00:17:13,761
Speaker 2: spend time with yourself. Don't keep yourself busy, because it'll come.

399
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,161
Speaker 3: Back and it'll bite you in the part later.

400
00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:19,640
Speaker 2: You need to feel the feels, validate your feelings. There's

401
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,601
Speaker 2: just so much there. There's so many levels to all

402
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:23,121
Speaker 2: of this. So I really hope that you just take

403
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,561
Speaker 2: the time that you need to really get in touch

404
00:17:25,600 --> 00:17:27,480
Speaker 2: with what feels right for you and how you want to.

405
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,120
Speaker 3: Move forward one hundred percent.

406
00:17:29,721 --> 00:17:32,361
Speaker 1: Well, bestie, I hope that's really helped you. Yeah, it's

407
00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:35,440
Speaker 1: a tough situation to be in and yeah, we definitely

408
00:17:35,441 --> 00:17:35,961
Speaker 1: do not judge.

409
00:17:35,961 --> 00:17:38,081
Speaker 3: I know, at the start. You were really worried about judgment.

410
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,761
Speaker 1: Opening up, and I think she posted anominously as well. Yeah,

411
00:17:40,801 --> 00:17:42,721
Speaker 1: but yeah, we definitely do not judge here. I think

412
00:17:42,721 --> 00:17:44,681
Speaker 1: it's just not black and white. I just don't think

413
00:17:44,721 --> 00:17:46,121
Speaker 1: it's that easy and that's simple.

414
00:17:46,321 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 2: And another thing as well, is like, this is a

415
00:17:47,961 --> 00:17:50,841
Speaker 2: perfect time for you to lean on other people if

416
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,360
Speaker 2: you don't feel like you really know where to start

417
00:17:53,441 --> 00:17:54,840
Speaker 2: too much, Like you know you've got the journal, but

418
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:56,161
Speaker 2: I know you said you don't know if you're ready

419
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,201
Speaker 2: to open it back up again. Go see a coach,

420
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:03,681
Speaker 2: Go see a therapist, talk it out, reach out for support. Yeah,

421
00:18:03,681 --> 00:18:06,001
Speaker 2: it's just not black and And I remember when my

422
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:08,761
Speaker 2: stepdad cheated on my mum. I was so angry and

423
00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:11,001
Speaker 2: it was just like, you just don't cheat. Like, in

424
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:13,641
Speaker 2: my head, it's like that is wrong. And I had

425
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,600
Speaker 2: that belief for so many years until I did my

426
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,121
Speaker 2: first course with Tony Robbins and learned so much more

427
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,480
Speaker 2: about why people do the things that they do, and

428
00:18:20,521 --> 00:18:23,961
Speaker 2: about needs and about desires, and about relationships and how

429
00:18:23,961 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 2: complex they really really are.

430
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:26,641
Speaker 3: And it really.

431
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:30,241
Speaker 1: Helped me come from a place of understanding that all

432
00:18:30,321 --> 00:18:32,481
Speaker 1: of us have needs and desires and over a period

433
00:18:32,521 --> 00:18:34,721
Speaker 1: of time, if they're not getting met it's only natural

434
00:18:34,801 --> 00:18:37,720
Speaker 1: instinct to want that and to be drawn into that

435
00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:41,440
Speaker 1: and to go after that. And that's where I think

436
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 1: you can have that understanding for yourself that you are

437
00:18:44,241 --> 00:18:47,401
Speaker 1: human and you made a mistake, but there's reasons and

438
00:18:47,521 --> 00:18:50,360
Speaker 1: layers as to how it led you to that exact

439
00:18:50,441 --> 00:18:51,641
Speaker 1: time with that new person.

440
00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:52,920
Speaker 3: Ps.

441
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 1: You can't swing to your next branch whilst holding onto

442
00:18:55,921 --> 00:18:59,920
Speaker 1: the old branch. So think about this picture literally a

443
00:19:00,001 --> 00:19:02,880
Speaker 1: monkey that's swinging from branch to branch. Like if you

444
00:19:02,961 --> 00:19:07,041
Speaker 1: have this old life, this old relationship, this old whatever,

445
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 1: and you're hanging onto that branch and you want to

446
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,000
Speaker 1: step into your new life and you want to let go, like,

447
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,521
Speaker 1: you literally can't move forward if you're hanging onto your

448
00:19:13,521 --> 00:19:16,121
Speaker 1: old class and your old self. So if you want

449
00:19:16,201 --> 00:19:19,080
Speaker 1: change and you want to evolve and step, you literally

450
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 1: have to let go of those old versions of you,

451
00:19:21,441 --> 00:19:24,600
Speaker 1: those old relationships, whatever's not serving. You literally have to

452
00:19:24,681 --> 00:19:26,401
Speaker 1: let go of the branch and grab onto the new one.

453
00:19:26,681 --> 00:19:28,801
Speaker 3: And this is huge for today's episode because by the

454
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,080
Speaker 3: sounds of that, she's not ready to let go.

455
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:30,360
Speaker 1: Yeah.

456
00:19:30,441 --> 00:19:30,681
Speaker 2: No.

457
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,641
Speaker 1: And then if you're hanging on to the new one

458
00:19:32,681 --> 00:19:34,641
Speaker 1: and the old one. Guess what's happening? You just dream

459
00:19:34,721 --> 00:19:38,441
Speaker 1: going around like literally hanging there doing what you're kind

460
00:19:38,441 --> 00:19:42,201
Speaker 1: of living in the past, sitting here now feeling frustrated,

461
00:19:42,561 --> 00:19:45,161
Speaker 1: worried about the future, and you're just like swinging back

462
00:19:45,201 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 1: and forth. That doesn't feel good. We need to be

463
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,481
Speaker 1: progressing forward. If we don't progress forward, we feel dead

464
00:19:50,521 --> 00:19:52,761
Speaker 1: inside and neither let go of one branch. Are you

465
00:19:52,761 --> 00:19:54,440
Speaker 1: going to let go of this branch? Or are you

466
00:19:54,441 --> 00:19:56,200
Speaker 1: going to let go of that branch? Yeah?

467
00:19:56,241 --> 00:19:58,120
Speaker 3: Wow, it's very topical.

468
00:19:58,281 --> 00:20:04,201
Speaker 2: Ps ps be the woman you need it as a girl.

469
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:07,681
Speaker 2: So right now, all these feelings that you were feeling,

470
00:20:08,281 --> 00:20:11,521
Speaker 2: be that woman for yourself that you needed as a girl.

471
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:14,840
Speaker 3: I love that in a child work. Yeah beautiful.

472
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,481
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us, guys, And if there's

473
00:20:17,481 --> 00:20:19,400
Speaker 1: anyone else out there that would like us to unpack

474
00:20:19,481 --> 00:20:22,360
Speaker 1: an episode like this, we would absolutely love to. You

475
00:20:22,441 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 1: just need to post it onto our private Facebook forum,

476
00:20:25,321 --> 00:20:27,360
Speaker 1: So just search Grow and Glow on Facebook and add

477
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,001
Speaker 1: yourself in there. You can post it anonymously. But yeah,

478
00:20:30,041 --> 00:20:32,001
Speaker 1: we'd love to do more episodes like this. Yeah, we

479
00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 1: used to do ones called sticky Situations. Yes, but then

480
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,521
Speaker 1: when we went to continue on, we just found a

481
00:20:36,561 --> 00:20:37,721
Speaker 1: lot of them are quite similar.

482
00:20:37,961 --> 00:20:39,161
Speaker 3: Yes, that's right.

483
00:20:39,241 --> 00:20:41,440
Speaker 1: I love some really different examples of things that we

484
00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:43,321
Speaker 1: haven't really spoken about before. To make sure we're not

485
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,200
Speaker 1: repeating content.

486
00:20:44,321 --> 00:20:45,120
Speaker 3: And if it's in.

487
00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 2: Depth, it's great, Like she kind of went into a

488
00:20:46,681 --> 00:20:48,801
Speaker 2: bit more detailed, whereas some of them were like really short.

489
00:20:48,921 --> 00:20:50,880
Speaker 3: That's right, we didn't have enough context.

490
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:53,440
Speaker 1: Yes, we actually recorded quite a few episodes and I

491
00:20:53,481 --> 00:20:55,281
Speaker 1: was like, oh, but does she mean this or did

492
00:20:55,281 --> 00:20:57,641
Speaker 1: this happen? Like it was really hard to dissect when

493
00:20:57,681 --> 00:20:58,921
Speaker 1: we didn't have enough information.

494
00:20:59,201 --> 00:21:01,401
Speaker 3: So the more info the better. Yes, And we can't

495
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 3: see your name, so yeah, it's anonymous. Yeah, Yeah, it's

496
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 3: a judgment free.

497
00:21:05,321 --> 00:21:08,521
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. Definitely. We're very open minded here. It's

498
00:21:08,561 --> 00:21:11,161
Speaker 1: just as I said three times, it's not black and white. No.

499
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,201
Speaker 3: Oh, thanks so much for joining us.

500
00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:15,961
Speaker 1: If you haven't already, please hit that subscribe button or

501
00:21:16,001 --> 00:21:18,281
Speaker 1: the follow button, And if you think this episode might

502
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 1: help a friend that's going through something similar, share it

503
00:21:21,241 --> 00:21:23,721
Speaker 1: to them as well. All of your shares and star

504
00:21:23,961 --> 00:21:26,801
Speaker 1: ratings and follows that really help support our pody and

505
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:28,041
Speaker 1: allows us to continue.

506
00:21:27,761 --> 00:21:29,241
Speaker 3: To do this so really appreciate it.

507
00:21:29,241 --> 00:21:30,960
Speaker 2: Thanks so much, guys, Bye bye,