Speaker 1: And a Lady and a Lady, A Lady, A lady.
Speaker 1: I'm filtered.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hello, and welcome to another podcast. My name is
Speaker 2: Hayley and I'm Lauren and we are at.
Speaker 1: A Lady Unfiltered with Beesties.
Speaker 2: We're business partners and we're the creators of adel Lady. Hello,
Speaker 2: I say hey, Loszy Media. And we do everything together
Speaker 2: except bag except one time, because there's a baby in
Speaker 2: between us.
Speaker 1: She's squiromy, so cute.
Speaker 2: Don't talk. We are recording a podcast.
Speaker 1: She actually doesn't make you sound well.
Speaker 2: She will now because she knows b'ron air bron air and.
Speaker 1: Now she's talking for the first time.
Speaker 2: Sorry, we all have to go because I need to feed.
Speaker 2: It's so nice to have you back on my couch.
Speaker 1: Do you know what you look A million bucks?
Speaker 2: Me? Yeah, I feel about what twelve, not by what
Speaker 2: you're wearing or anything like that. I mean, is it
Speaker 2: my maternity ties to come over my books?
Speaker 1: No, you look alive. You don't look dead like I
Speaker 1: was expecting.
Speaker 2: That's really nice. Yeah, the backhanded compliment. I thought you'd
Speaker 2: look terrible, but you look fairly good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you look nice.
Speaker 2: I'm feeling good. I'm getting good sleep like she's dream
Speaker 2: Don't tell that to you.
Speaker 1: Your friends that have just had a baby, they're not listening.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you get you feel guilty if you've got a
Speaker 2: really good baby, don't you. Oh, we're not sleeping. I
Speaker 2: was like me either.
Speaker 1: I'm sleeping all the time.
Speaker 2: Five year olds are way harder than you.
Speaker 1: In fact, I'm just saying it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not talking about babies this episode because we're
Speaker 2: beyond that now.
Speaker 1: No, we can't.
Speaker 2: Out of my belly, out of sight, out of mind.
Speaker 1: We don't care about babies anymore. We'll never talk about
Speaker 1: pregnancy every Oh.
Speaker 2: She just opened her eyes. Don't mess with her. If
Speaker 2: she's anything like Sophia, she will find you leamnes.
Speaker 1: And style and she'll stab me.
Speaker 2: Yeah all right, shopping list, All right, we've got a
Speaker 2: Men of the Week each I love our little mems
Speaker 2: because they're always quite random and I never know what's
Speaker 2: going to come Props. Today, I have props. I'm going
Speaker 2: to talk about something that you and I do that
Speaker 2: annoys everyone in the world, but it doesn't annoy us,
Speaker 2: and that's why we're besties.
Speaker 1: I love that about you.
Speaker 2: And you're going to talk about I'm going to talk
Speaker 2: about I overheard something on face time with my eleven
Speaker 2: year old and his friends.
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to censor a word. The word in
Speaker 3: itself is okay, but used in this context is not okay.
Speaker 2: And it's really triggering for me. And I will explain why. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's something that it means a lot to me because of.
Speaker 1: The past. It'll make sense when I get to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's start with you, mem all right, Well, I'd
Speaker 2: just like to celebrate we have a new fan I
Speaker 2: love fan mail, you know, like people liking the show,
Speaker 2: people sending nice messages.
Speaker 1: Else is so nice? Can I say? The messages are
Speaker 1: so beautiful?
Speaker 3: I screenshot them all and then often share them like
Speaker 3: it's big, noting ourselves.
Speaker 2: So on Instagram, I've seen that. I've been meaning to
Speaker 2: talk to you about that. Here we are, So remember
Speaker 2: that time my mom said she hated the podcast.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she hated the podcast. Was disappointed in you.
Speaker 2: Yes, but she'd never listened to the podcast. She didn't
Speaker 2: like me just talking about shit. Yeah, she's got private, Yeah,
Speaker 2: she's quite prudish. My mum born in eighteen forty three, Awson,
Speaker 2: do you know what's fun? I also have to watch
Speaker 2: myself now because she's listening. I can't Yeah, you can't
Speaker 2: tell anything bad about it?
Speaker 1: Her up.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So anyway, so she hated the podcast after On Saturday,
Speaker 2: I got these messages saying, I just feel like I've
Speaker 2: been sitting on the couch with you.
Speaker 1: And Haley or morning. Okay, hang on, hang on, can
Speaker 1: we do something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna go to my message because I got
Speaker 3: a message from Jewels and let's read out the message
Speaker 3: at the same time and see if she copied it.
Speaker 2: Wait wait, wait, okay, hen we find it. Molly Molly, Molly, Florence, Florence,
Speaker 2: like there's a lot of are you ready, okay, Hi, I've.
Speaker 3: Been listening to the podcast all morning. I've had you
Speaker 3: by Oh wait, wait, I get you that. I love
Speaker 3: that they are brought to you by a.
Speaker 2: Toilet paper company because you talk so much crap, so fitting,
Speaker 2: very funny. And then I got cry emoji, cry emoji,
Speaker 2: cry emoji.
Speaker 1: And then I got a photo with her dog.
Speaker 2: And then I got a photo with her dog.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Okay, and then she said I loved listening to it.
Speaker 2: It was like I was sitting on the couch with
Speaker 2: you too. And then Burjo said, listen next week, I
Speaker 2: tell her on the podcast that she's full of shit, okay,
Speaker 2: And then my mom said, okay, because we all know
Speaker 2: that you're a Cornadis and we're all getting up and
Speaker 2: that's the annoying thing. Mum's always calling me a cornatist,
Speaker 2: and now Burjo started calling me a cornadan. She yeah,
Speaker 2: because I used to be like, i'll be home at seven,
Speaker 2: and then I do that. Now I'll be at.
Speaker 1: The meeting at two and you're never there.
Speaker 2: And I said to Berjo, i'll be home, I'm leaving.
Speaker 2: I'll be home from the Kangar Island Fairy at six thirty,
Speaker 2: but I'm hopping on the six thirty fairy and then
Speaker 2: it's an hour and then I have to drive from
Speaker 2: Cape Jervis. Because she often to go, oh, that's cool,
Speaker 2: she'll be home there, Whereas if I just said I'm
Speaker 2: going to be home at nine thirty, it's fine. But
Speaker 2: when I saw home six thirty and then get home
Speaker 2: at nine thirty and try and blame the fairy for
Speaker 2: beingle yeah, when he knows it.
Speaker 1: Was just me. Yeah. Anyway, your mum's a fan.
Speaker 2: Anyway, she's a fan, loves the show, so thank you.
Speaker 1: That is seriously the best thing from Jewels.
Speaker 2: It's gone from zero. She will tell you what's what
Speaker 2: she always has. If she doesn't like something that you
Speaker 2: and I are doing, she will tell you straight away.
Speaker 2: It's not funny, terrible. She's actually said to us. I
Speaker 2: remember when we I don't even want to say this
Speaker 2: because I don't want people to google, but when we've
Speaker 2: first started up, and I know exactly, but your mom
Speaker 2: was like, the only person that said that is so cringey,
Speaker 2: why are you doing that? I think she caught us
Speaker 2: try hard, try hard, and nobody else said it, but
Speaker 2: we knew inside our hearts, so we were massively try
Speaker 2: hard cringey Jesus, and she was right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she was right.
Speaker 2: Mom's always right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my mom didn't tell us that, but she thought
Speaker 1: she thought.
Speaker 2: It, but Rosa kept it in turner, whereas my mom
Speaker 2: had to externalize it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why we love you, Jewels.
Speaker 2: Thanks Jewels number one fan. We should buy us some
Speaker 2: twitch those big hands for jewlsye all right, my mem
Speaker 2: you know how my love language is acts of service.
Speaker 2: I know. I just asked everyone if they wanted a
Speaker 2: cup of tea. Everyone said no, and you were like, oh.
Speaker 1: Everyone goes. I don't want to put you out. You're
Speaker 1: a new mum. You need to sit down. And I
Speaker 1: looked at you with my little sad eyes.
Speaker 2: I was like, el gray with one sugar with blood.
Speaker 1: Bit of cream? Are you these ones? I hope that's frost.
Speaker 2: I'm sure it's press.
Speaker 1: I love people doing things for me.
Speaker 2: It's my don't buy me things, don't buy me flowers
Speaker 2: or anything like that. I just love if someone does
Speaker 2: buy me a tea or does not buy me tea,
Speaker 2: get me a tea, just does something that makes my
Speaker 2: life a.
Speaker 1: Little bit easier.
Speaker 2: Though it was different.
Speaker 1: I want gifts, yeah, I know you do. I just
Speaker 1: love it so much.
Speaker 2: And the other day I've been I feel like I'm
Speaker 2: like at a rule. Just to be completely honest, I
Speaker 2: feel like I'm a bit overstressed at the moment with
Speaker 2: like I did this test thing last week where I
Speaker 2: put my feet into this water and all the toxins
Speaker 2: came out and everyone in this room has seen it.
Speaker 2: It was black afterwards, wasn't it. It was disgusting. It
Speaker 2: was like, I've got so much stress coming out of me.
Speaker 2: I don't know why. There's well, there's a lot of
Speaker 2: little layered things anyway.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I got my period, and so I on
Speaker 3: the weekend, I did plarties.
Speaker 1: I left. I was tired, I was achy.
Speaker 3: I sawed all the things and then I called Jimmy
Speaker 3: and I'm like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: He goes, I'm just the chemist. I'm like, what are
Speaker 1: you doing?
Speaker 3: He goes, well, I just went to ask what they've
Speaker 3: got for period pain, because obviously what you're using isn't right.
Speaker 3: So I've got a couple of different brands for you
Speaker 3: to make sure that. And I'm like, you asked the
Speaker 3: lady at the chemist about period pain.
Speaker 1: It's so nice. I asked you to say that. You
Speaker 1: just went and did it. And now I have like
Speaker 1: new tablets to try. And he's so nice. It's so nice.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: That's your love language.
Speaker 1: It is just heaven, guys.
Speaker 2: Not that we've got any guys listen to this show,
Speaker 2: but do these little things for your partner. That's really everything.
Speaker 2: Whereas my love language was a tennis price after having
Speaker 2: a kid, and here we are without a tennis bracelet
Speaker 2: in the mill. We can be sponsored by a tennis
Speaker 2: To be honest, I don't get your fascination with tennis bracelets.
Speaker 2: Who in little diamond though you can barely see them
Speaker 2: the one I want, you can fucking see.
Speaker 1: I have big a tennis bracelet.
Speaker 2: I don't knows. I have to drag my home.
Speaker 1: And why are they so expensive? Because they're diamonds all
Speaker 1: the way around your wrist. Just go to clients and
Speaker 1: get a fake one.
Speaker 2: Clients literally died in nineteen sixty exist anymore?
Speaker 1: Do they know?
Speaker 2: Next week? Probably brought to you by climb?
Speaker 1: Hey can we check? Give clients still exist?
Speaker 2: I used to get my best friend arms Mary clients Marrion, No,
Speaker 2: there was a client's at Burnside. Where's it yet? K
Speaker 2: l I E n S? Where's our fact checker? Mum
Speaker 2: also laughed about how like we don't know anything and
Speaker 2: Millie has to fact check us for everything. So funny clients, Millie,
Speaker 2: Yeah it was a jewelry plans. Yeah, there's one at Marion.
Speaker 3: French Arms there all the time, and get my jewelry there, clients,
Speaker 3: I don't think it exists anymore.
Speaker 2: Who did one of Moggie's best friend's dad's owned one
Speaker 2: and colonades? Did you get a discount liquid added in
Speaker 2: two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1: I'm so relevant on this show. You are babies eighteen
Speaker 1: years ago.
Speaker 2: You were telling a story before about how you walk
Speaker 2: cloth nabbes.
Speaker 1: How old? I don't know, are you okay? I don't
Speaker 1: know clients?
Speaker 2: Yea. Anyway, what's the other store that like Liviza Leviza?
Speaker 2: It's Clarin's Levitza Loviza or Louisa Millie? Fuck it's another one. God,
Speaker 2: where would you be without Millie? I know, Mum, we'd
Speaker 2: be fucked without her Levizaza. So we had the wrong
Speaker 2: and fastest on the wrong selar you and I always say,
Speaker 2: with your half a brain and my half a brain,
Speaker 2: we've got a full brain. We've got the same brain,
Speaker 2: half brain, small together, we can do it.
Speaker 1: Any full brain, like a massive brain, like an aural brain.
Speaker 2: Yes. But like the other day, went to the supermarket
Speaker 2: because I ran out of everything. The tea is the coffee,
Speaker 2: the milk's like, we've got people coming over, lots of things.
Speaker 2: And I bought a box of tea and I opened
Speaker 2: it and this this is how I opened the teak.
Speaker 2: So Burjo goes to the pantry and he's like, you
Speaker 2: are such a smart person. How could you could not
Speaker 2: it's like a bear has rummaged it.
Speaker 1: It's got honey on it, and he's trying to rip
Speaker 1: it open with his teeth.
Speaker 2: Like it's basically you just swipe that bit across, open
Speaker 2: it up like a box, and you've got a fresh box.
Speaker 2: But that's how I left the tea. And then I
Speaker 2: thought of my mate piercing, because you will literally go
Speaker 2: into a loaf of bread and rather than doing the
Speaker 2: tie at the top, you rip open the whole loaf
Speaker 2: of bread.
Speaker 1: I do it with cereal cheese, with cheese.
Speaker 2: Cheese where it's like resealable at the top, I'll cut
Speaker 2: below that and I get into so much so see
Speaker 2: that bit that seals it like seals the cheese, and
Speaker 2: you've cut below the seal and now it's going to
Speaker 2: go off. My huh, I don't know what that is
Speaker 2: that there is there a word for people who just
Speaker 2: have to do that?
Speaker 1: Or is that an ady ahd thing?
Speaker 2: Well, this is what I wanted to ask you. Why
Speaker 2: do we do this? Because my whole pantry is I
Speaker 2: get stressed. It's like I get hot and flustered when
Speaker 2: I just but even though I wasn't having a tea
Speaker 2: at that time.
Speaker 3: Okay, So what's funny is I was away with my
Speaker 3: friend Alice. You know my friend Alice, and who the
Speaker 3: fuck is Alice?
Speaker 1: Who the fuck is Alice?
Speaker 3: We went shopping and we came home. We had all
Speaker 3: those paper bags from the shopping. I think, right, every
Speaker 3: time we have a paper bag, it never occurs to
Speaker 3: me ever to keep the bat to fold them, because
Speaker 3: they come neat and tiny. I literally go put them in,
Speaker 3: takes up so much space. And I watched her fold
Speaker 3: everyone so neatly, and they all sat inside each other
Speaker 3: and took up no space.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, how do you do that?
Speaker 2: Do you know the other thing I've noticed with you?
Speaker 2: Every time you come here, you ask me where my
Speaker 2: cups are?
Speaker 1: I don't remember things like that, your apology.
Speaker 2: Come to my house like twice away, It doesn't stick.
Speaker 2: It's like Chinese, but like the cups don't move.
Speaker 1: I still don't know where they are. You can't tell
Speaker 1: somebody where your cups are.
Speaker 2: Every time wearing cups, I'm like, the same please last week?
Speaker 2: But like, is that because our brains are so full
Speaker 2: of all this other stuff that we can't remember. I
Speaker 2: don't know what it is does Jimmy get annoyed at
Speaker 2: you sometimes.
Speaker 1: Of course I'm not get annoyed at him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can get because I don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't care.
Speaker 2: I don't care about this stuff because we're perfect in
Speaker 2: other ways, but also superficial stuff like I don't care
Speaker 2: about who cares.
Speaker 1: I just that is so good.
Speaker 2: Can we please put a photo of that on our
Speaker 2: social because like, the way you've opened that is better
Speaker 2: than you've ever opened anything in your life. Thank you.
Speaker 1: That's how I think should be open.
Speaker 2: Do you know what's annoying? I reckon Sophia would have
Speaker 2: done a better job to this point. Why were you
Speaker 2: so desperate for a tea at that point? I didn't
Speaker 2: even have a tea. I just wanted to get it
Speaker 2: open to go on my pantry.
Speaker 1: I didn't even drink the tea.
Speaker 2: I just knew that, like in like two hours, when
Speaker 2: I wanted a tea, I wouldn't open. I was getting stressed.
Speaker 1: Okay, we're gonna we're gonna do some more research on this.
Speaker 2: I have put it out there actually to try and
Speaker 2: get someone to talk to us about ADHD, because we
Speaker 2: have said on this show.
Speaker 1: That we are undiagnosed. And I'm pretty sure you've.
Speaker 2: Got sidetracks and you forgot about it, so you haven't
Speaker 2: got This is gonna be the best episode ever. Do
Speaker 2: we talk and that I don't care anymore. I hate
Speaker 2: that it leaves my body. You and Burgio are the
Speaker 2: same like that.
Speaker 1: Oh I know.
Speaker 2: I'm not as up and he's very driven by dope.
Speaker 2: You know what. I actually had to have a god
Speaker 2: him yesterday because he is so helpful around the house
Speaker 2: and doing everything, but with his ADHD brain. He started
Speaker 2: unpacking the dishwasher. All the drawers were open, and then
Speaker 2: he did one level and then went and had a shower.
Speaker 2: So then I went into the kitchen almost tripped over
Speaker 2: the dishwasher. I would never you don't leave the dishwasher
Speaker 2: open with the things now because you forget because something
Speaker 2: else important company. He just went he like took the
Speaker 2: glass that and went, I'm going to go have a shower.
Speaker 1: I love this all the time. I get because it's
Speaker 1: the tripping hazard.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I'm just holding Florence going to make a bottle
Speaker 2: tripping over a dishwasher anyway.
Speaker 3: All right, stay with us in a second, I'm going
Speaker 3: to talk to you about a word that is triggering
Speaker 3: for me and my family, and I heard it come
Speaker 3: up in a conversation with my eleven year old, and
Speaker 3: I want to tell you about that.
Speaker 1: You say, all right, you know the old saying that.
Speaker 3: My parents used to say to us, Sticks and stones
Speaker 3: will break our bones, but words willever hurt you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's bullshit, because words hurt bs, words sting like
Speaker 2: nothing else, and then you can hold onto them for
Speaker 2: fifty years.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sometimes it's worse than the punch.
Speaker 1: It's always worse because the punch goes, bruises, fade.
Speaker 3: But words will stay with you forever. Tell your kids
Speaker 3: that one.
Speaker 2: I want to bring this up because there's a word
Speaker 2: for me in my house that is triggering and I
Speaker 2: overheard it on a FaceTime.
Speaker 1: With my eleven year old and his mates.
Speaker 2: I'm not I don't want to punish kids for saying this,
Speaker 2: but I want. I think it's a learning experience and
Speaker 2: the word should be used in a better context.
Speaker 1: That word is gay.
Speaker 2: So I was at home in the lounge room, hurt
Speaker 2: our fie on the phone, all all these mates there,
Speaker 2: I'll just make up a name that one of them
Speaker 2: was calling Tommy gay. They're like, oh, Tommy is so gay,
Speaker 2: Tommy's go But it was all in jest. It was
Speaker 2: all it was all fun, but everyone was laughing, but
Speaker 2: it was in negative connotation. It wasn't like, you're so gay,
Speaker 2: that's so cool. It was you're gay?
Speaker 1: Are you gay?
Speaker 3: Or you're your pathetic kind of thing right. And as
Speaker 3: this was happening, Alfie, with his big green eyes, looked
Speaker 3: up at me and froze. And I looked straight into
Speaker 3: his eyes and he knew what I was thinking, because
Speaker 3: it's not how I brought him up and he shut
Speaker 3: his laptop and I said, he goes, I'm sorry, mum,
Speaker 3: they just say it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm proud.
Speaker 2: Of you for not joining in and not saying it.
Speaker 2: And I'm not going to punish you. I'm not going
Speaker 2: to sense of.
Speaker 3: The word, but I want you to know how impactful
Speaker 3: that word can be it when used negatively. And I
Speaker 3: say this because my background growing up. My brother was
Speaker 3: five years older than me. He's not here anymore, he
Speaker 3: passed away fourteen years ago from addiction.
Speaker 1: But he was gay.
Speaker 3: And I have these really deep seated memories of when
Speaker 3: I would leave primary school and i'd walk home and
Speaker 3: I had all these kids in his year he would
Speaker 3: have been in his seven, so he wasn't out. He
Speaker 3: didn't come out to his sixteen.
Speaker 2: Coming up to me, going, your brother's are insert most
Speaker 2: revolting word ever said that rhymes with maggot.
Speaker 1: I'll say maggot instead of that word. Brother, your brother's
Speaker 1: a maggot. You're so gay? Oh my god, have you
Speaker 1: seen your brother? He said gay?
Speaker 2: And I was just standing at the lights, going, I
Speaker 2: don't even know what that means. Why are you saying that?
Speaker 2: Why are you being mean to my brother? Why is
Speaker 2: that a bad word?
Speaker 3: I didn't know right, and then these words started. I
Speaker 3: guess a series of events for my brother where he
Speaker 3: felt like he was a square.
Speaker 1: Peg in a round hole. He didn't fit in, he
Speaker 1: didn't like himself.
Speaker 2: He was bullied, he was teased, he was bashed up
Speaker 2: because he was gay. And so when I I've always
Speaker 2: taught my kids that you never ever, ever ever used
Speaker 2: gay in a bad word. Gay means love, It means
Speaker 2: you two people love each other. It can never be
Speaker 2: used in a bad way. So hearing them on that call,
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, please, no, please, no, please no.
Speaker 2: If I heard if we say that, I would actually
Speaker 2: be so disappointed, and he didn't. But I think it's
Speaker 2: the mum and dad's job to teach our kids that
Speaker 2: it's not a bad word. It needs to be out
Speaker 2: there more. It's a it's a normal word that means
Speaker 2: love between two people. And kids say the most horrific things. Yeah,
Speaker 2: often not knowing what they're saying.
Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely, they didn't know.
Speaker 2: Twenty five years ago, when I was young, we used
Speaker 2: to say that word. All the guys would say it.
Speaker 2: It was it was a word that was frequently used,
Speaker 2: and there were lots of other words that were used
Speaker 2: that was, whether it's sexuality, whether it was disabled people. Yeah,
Speaker 2: fifteen year old boys think all that shit is far.
Speaker 2: That's so true, and it is up to the parents
Speaker 2: to say something. Yeah, because they learned those words from somewhere, right,
Speaker 2: And I know that it wasn't malice. They're only eleven.
Speaker 2: They didn't really know what they were saying. But what
Speaker 2: I hated was that they were saying in a bad
Speaker 2: way because you never know that these kids thirteen, fourteen, eleven, twelve, whatever,
Speaker 2: they're just some.
Speaker 1: Of them are wondering. I don't know who I am?
Speaker 2: Am?
Speaker 3: I am I attracted to men? Am I attracted to women?
Speaker 3: You know, they're finding themselves.
Speaker 1: So if you're.
Speaker 2: Putting it out there it's a negative thing, they won't
Speaker 2: come out, they'll be scared.
Speaker 1: And then you get what's happened in the.
Speaker 3: AFL was where I don't know how you felt about this,
Speaker 3: but like that news article that came out with for
Speaker 3: the first footy player in one hundred and thirty years,
Speaker 3: the first ever was March twenty.
Speaker 2: Twenty six this year, he came out saying he was gay.
Speaker 2: Out of all those players, apparently, is the only one
Speaker 2: that was gay. My first thought would be like, how
Speaker 2: is this a new story? Yep, because like lots of
Speaker 2: people are gay, lots of people are straight, Like how
Speaker 2: is it a thing? Because people have been gay forever? Like,
Speaker 2: why is it a story?
Speaker 1: I see that?
Speaker 3: Because that was my initial reaction, and then I thought, Nah,
Speaker 3: this is excellent. This is so good for anyone out
Speaker 3: there who's growing up going, oh my god, that's me.
Speaker 1: The more you talk about it, the more normal it is.
Speaker 2: Do you RECKONCI? My kids wouldn't play football because I
Speaker 2: think I could be gay and I can't play football.
Speaker 3: No, I think that'd play football, they just pretend they're
Speaker 3: not gay. It's so sad, and this is why love
Speaker 3: shows like Lasso, where they did a whole episode on.
Speaker 1: One of the footballers, Colin. He came out as being gay.
Speaker 2: And I know your reaction is like, who cares? But
Speaker 2: because it's been hidden for so long and no one comes.
Speaker 1: Out because they're too scared, it's a good thing. It's
Speaker 1: a normal thing.
Speaker 2: So when Alfie was watching that, he doesn't even flinch.
Speaker 2: He's growing up his whole life watching stuff or me normalizing.
Speaker 2: I've always said to him since he was a little baby,
Speaker 2: when you grow up, you might want to marry a
Speaker 2: man or a woman or whatever. It's always been a thing.
Speaker 2: I've never ever made it. You're getting rid of the
Speaker 2: shame that might be attached to that.
Speaker 1: Yes, that's exactly what I want to do. But a
Speaker 1: lot of parents don't, well though, because they haven't.
Speaker 2: I have empathy towards that minority groups because I've been
Speaker 2: through that, and I guess if you haven't been through it,
Speaker 2: you don't feel that pain, and no you don't empathize
Speaker 2: with them. But yeah, it's about being empathetic towards people
Speaker 2: that are different people, whether you're disabled, whatever you are,
Speaker 2: there are going to be minorities and people are going
Speaker 2: to be different, and it is up to us. Do
Speaker 2: you know when we were in America with Sofia, there
Speaker 2: was a lovely man we went ice skating and he
Speaker 2: didn't have a leg and my three year old was
Speaker 2: looking at him because he was taking off his leg
Speaker 2: to put on a skate. And I was so embarrassed
Speaker 2: because Sophia kept looking and going Mum, what's happening, what's happening?
Speaker 2: And this man normalized it. He looked at us when
Speaker 2: it's okay, I understand, and he went, Hi, what's your name?
Speaker 2: And she says Sofia And he told her the story
Speaker 2: about how he lost his leg, what had happened, and
Speaker 2: how he was so proud that he could still ice skate,
Speaker 2: and she was just like, yeah, you can do anything.
Speaker 2: And she still talks.
Speaker 1: About that because you'll remember that for ever.
Speaker 2: Yes, because your biggest fear is that everyone's different in
Speaker 2: this world, and if your child looks at someone that
Speaker 2: might be it could be different skin color, Why are
Speaker 2: those two men holding hands, Why is she in a wheelchair?
Speaker 3: Yes, but if you normalize it, it's like magic seeing
Speaker 3: it's like the third eye.
Speaker 1: Kids see things.
Speaker 2: And as soon as you say it's not there, or
Speaker 2: as soon as you say that's not right, don't stare,
Speaker 2: don't look, don't ask questions, don't ask questions. And also
Speaker 2: that makes them feel special and then they can share
Speaker 2: their story with you. I gave this man a hug
Speaker 2: and I said, thank you so much. I know that
Speaker 2: might have been hard for you, but that will be
Speaker 2: a lesson that my little girl will take through life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she does.
Speaker 2: She still remembers it. He could still skate, Mummy. He
Speaker 2: had one leg, but he could still skate. And just
Speaker 2: knowing that you can do anything regardless of what you
Speaker 2: look like.
Speaker 1: And it's your parents.
Speaker 2: I look at my mom and dad and I there's
Speaker 2: such beautiful people.
Speaker 1: That dad was a hairdresser.
Speaker 3: So I grew up with mom and dad having a
Speaker 3: lot of lesbian and gay friends. It was very normal
Speaker 3: for me to go to their house like it was
Speaker 3: just a normal thing. So when I grew up and
Speaker 3: I started hearing gay used in a bad connotation, I
Speaker 3: was like, why.
Speaker 2: Mama Dad's best friends are what do you mean? Why
Speaker 2: is that a bad thing? Because I didn't know because
Speaker 2: Mom and dad always said it was a good thing.
Speaker 2: Can I say one thing as well.
Speaker 3: We're talking about trigger words at the moment, and for
Speaker 3: me it's it's using gay in a bad sense and
Speaker 3: the bad maggot with an F word.
Speaker 1: I know fat is a really sensitive word for you.
Speaker 2: I know you hate it, hate it and you'd rather
Speaker 2: say people say fuck to your kid than fat. Right,
Speaker 2: that's what I say. You can say fuck in front
Speaker 2: of my kid. But if you say foul, punch you.
Speaker 2: But if you look at the word fat, it's not
Speaker 2: a bad word. Everyone needs fat. You need blood, and
Speaker 2: you need muscle, and you need bones, and you need
Speaker 2: some fat.
Speaker 1: That's not a bad thing.
Speaker 2: But like I said, my dad will be like, oh no, no,
Speaker 2: it's got a fat tummy. No, no, it's got a fat tummy.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Dad, I don't want my kid associating a
Speaker 2: tummy with the word fat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's.
Speaker 2: Your word is gay. My word is fat. Because being
Speaker 2: different as a child and being bigger, like I was
Speaker 2: this height, this size when I was like in year five,
Speaker 2: Oh why you so fat? Can you wear that? Why
Speaker 2: can't you do that? Because you're fat? But fuck off?
Speaker 2: But why don't you change that you can change that.
Speaker 2: For Sophie, if anyone ever says to her, oh you've
Speaker 2: got fat, whatever, she can go, Yeah, I got a
Speaker 2: bit of fat, I got a bit of skin, I
Speaker 2: got a bit of wrinkles here, I've got a bit
Speaker 2: of everything. And then can I teach you to punch
Speaker 2: them brown upon?
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, we've always said don't comment on other
Speaker 3: people's bodies. But fat is not is not a bad word.
Speaker 3: It's just because we choose to use it in a
Speaker 3: bad way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right. Everyone's got a thing. Everyone's got a
Speaker 2: word or something that's happened to them that we need
Speaker 2: to try and stop passing on to our children. And also,
Speaker 2: if you okay, if you flip it, your dad's fat
Speaker 2: Tommy is cuddly for all the grandkids. It makes him lovable,
Speaker 2: like it's a pillow for the ground, like it's a
Speaker 2: good thing as well.
Speaker 1: You don't have to be a bad thing.
Speaker 2: I know, but that's where our brain go It's where
Speaker 2: your brain goes. Even if there's a twelve year old
Speaker 2: who's saying this word that doesn't get it, your brain
Speaker 2: will take you back to that trauma. So my brain
Speaker 2: takes me back to that trauma, I know, and it
Speaker 2: takes for someone strong. Like when you're fourteen or fifteen,
Speaker 2: all we want to do is be the same. It's
Speaker 2: so funny now in our day with like marketing and
Speaker 2: our business and everyone wants to be different and I
Speaker 2: look different and be different and different and be out there.
Speaker 2: When you're fourteen and fifteen, you just want to be
Speaker 2: I want to say, same height as everyone. I want
Speaker 2: to have the same hair. I don't want to stand ribbon.
Speaker 2: All my friends had pump bottles, so I had to
Speaker 2: have a pump bottle because I want to be the same.
Speaker 2: What the fuck it's a drink bottle. But at that
Speaker 2: time I had to be the same.
Speaker 1: I know. But then but that comes with age exactly.
Speaker 2: So in that time, that's where the parents play a
Speaker 2: really vital role to make sure that everything is accepted
Speaker 2: and was even with the AFL player coming out, I
Speaker 2: know our initial reaction.
Speaker 1: Was like, why is it a news story? Who cares
Speaker 1: it is gay?
Speaker 2: Because in our life it's just a who cares you're gay?
Speaker 2: Yeah it's fine, but it is.
Speaker 3: It's really important for little Tommy sitting at home going, oh,
Speaker 3: I can play foot and I can be gay, Like,
Speaker 3: the more people talk about it, the better.
Speaker 2: It's about being seen. Y Yeah, good on you for
Speaker 2: bringing that up. And it's up to us to change
Speaker 2: our kids and also change our parents. Do you know what?
Speaker 1: People? Sometimes I go, is it too late to Tome's parents?
Speaker 1: I often think about that.
Speaker 2: Uh No, I like to school people. So like when
Speaker 2: my dad was going to school, he the word wog
Speaker 2: was used. Dad has always said to us the amount
Speaker 2: of times I've been in a fight and punched someone
Speaker 2: out because the negative gannotation, you're a dirty wog. Whereas
Speaker 2: now I go, yeah, a wog. I love being a wog.
Speaker 2: I use that word because doesn't have the negative Italian, Greek,
Speaker 2: whatever nationality it's associated with it. But when Dad came
Speaker 2: off the boat, he didn't want to be different. My
Speaker 2: dad sat in the mirror. This is in the late fifties,
Speaker 2: and he taught himself to say he'd go good day, mate,
Speaker 2: goad day mate. And so now when you meet Dino,
Speaker 2: it's like, get a mate, Dino, how are you.
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: Because he didn't want to be different. He just wanted
Speaker 2: to assimilate and be the same as everyone said. Him
Speaker 2: and his brother just tried to sound really Australia. So
Speaker 2: that was his word. Yeah, you know, everyone's got a thing.
Speaker 2: But like with my dad, I've had to try and
Speaker 2: teach him because back in the seventies and the eighties,
Speaker 2: they'd use negative connotations to the word gay. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: other words. My dad doesn't give a shit what you want.
Speaker 1: He doesn't, he doesn't.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if he says he doesn't mean anything by that's
Speaker 2: just what they said. But you and I have taught
Speaker 2: him that. And our old producer Christian Hull, you remember him,
Speaker 2: He was just like you know, da. Dad used to
Speaker 2: talk to him and love Christian and talk to him
Speaker 2: about dates. And Dad was kind of educated in his
Speaker 2: seventies about not using those words because it hurt feelings. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Dad's a good point. I often think that old people
Speaker 2: are too like as in the old old people.
Speaker 1: Are like, oh, I just let him go. He can
Speaker 1: be racist because he just doesn't know any better.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, gosh, yeah, it's a whole We didn't
Speaker 2: tell my grandpa that that right was gay really for
Speaker 2: that reason. Yeah, do you reckon he would have had
Speaker 2: an issue?
Speaker 1: I don't know. We just didn't want to put it.
Speaker 2: We just I mean, he probably it was obvious, but
Speaker 2: I just we just didn't want to put it out
Speaker 2: there that to give him any reason to make Ryan
Speaker 2: feel bad. Not I don't think he would, but it's
Speaker 2: just an old school way of thinking. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, we hope you've learned something today. Yeah, thanks
Speaker 1: for hanging out.
Speaker 2: Thanks for hanging out, and can you send us a
Speaker 2: d M if you want us to talk about anything,
Speaker 2: if you like something, if you don't like something, Mum
Speaker 2: rate the episode.
Speaker 1: Oh we'd love that. Jeels chairs are eight numb one fan.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I expect some little ratings on Spotify.
Speaker 1: She's the new Nielsen.
Speaker 2: She's our radio ratings. We have them every six weeks
Speaker 2: on a Tuesday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a beautiful way. We love you, Love you, Bie,